LAST DAY! JUST 23 HOURS! (ending at 11pm Eastern on Tuesday night)
And we’re not far at all from unlocking Head Alien magnets for everybody. I think we can do it! because momentarily i have hope when i forget what year we’re in
Discussion (254) ¬
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She may not have the cool lights yet, but she got the Darth Vader soundbite installed.
I hate you for that. Now I can’t get that out of my head. Thanks for making this my first post here ever just to tell you that that was a mean thing to do.
welp
amazi-girl exists outside of amber’s body
coming soon: Amazi-Venom™
Who becomes Amazi-Carnage? I vote Faz.
I think the rule is to always vote Faz so he may be merciful towards your considering not voting for Faz once his inevitable climb to power is realized.
Who gets thrown into the volcano to appease the gods and grant us a bountiful harvest? I vote Faz.
As you can see, the system isn’t flawless.
Sorry, I meant to say is, not isn’t.
I totally read that in Spongebob Squarepants theme song tune!
First thought on Faz’s inevitable climb to power: Ugh, so Faz = Trump?
Second thought: ROY MOORE LOST!!!
Amber would never kick a kitten
But her evil twin, petrified sap, would!
The only way these comments would be any more perfect is if you both had an Amber gravatar XD.
I agree. You’re either a kitten-kicker or you aren’t. Besides, even if she managed to pull it off, onlookers would be shouting “imposter!” “fake hero!” “Anti-mazigirl!”
What if the only way to save a kitten is to kick it out of danger’s grasp?
Oh, Amber.
No. No, you’re not garbage. Some of us have faith in you.
Reduce – Reuse – Recycle – Go Green by Blue Boxing that garbage.
AMBER
THERAPY
GOD DAMMIT.
Or failing that, Sal
Amber is unable to remember entire evenings and her costume is talking back when she talks to it. We are a bit past Sal now.
I’m surprised she didn’t get some kind of therapy post-incident. Maybe she just faked through it.
She said at one point that everyone suggested it, but Blaine made her take self-defense classes instead. No therapy + combat training = Amazi-Girl.
No no, the more recent incident. If Dorothy is getting therapy, surely someone suggested it for Amber too.
On a serious(?) note, therapy or not, one of the members of my fiancee’s system legit reminds me of Amber in this moment. “I WILL BE BAD TO SPITE YOU DAMN IT BECAUSE I AM HORRIBLE!” …While I pap shoosh her and hold her down and tell her “No sweetie you’re not garbage… Please do not be mean to people you care about to prove you’re something you’re not….”
Honestly the fact that she’s recognizing to some degree that she has two distinct personalities is a step in the right direction for both of them developing healthier coping mechanisms (if she gets on a damned computer and starts connecting with others like her).
And on an actually serious note? A lot of therapists don’t believe DID is a “real” diagnosis. Her seeing a therapist right now could be outright dangerous for her mental health as she could be forcibly institutionalized (Which actually resulted in one of said fiancee’s personalities existing…. mind in the late 90s so things have changed some as far as institutionalization goes…) or told that she’s imagining things (which is dangerous in general).
No, the fact she’s going full split here (with a hyperviolent vigilante personality no less) means things are getting worse.
Ohhh. Sorry about that.
I think Shiro is referring to the current stabbing.
The money to pay for the therapy went into fighting the lawsuit.
With knives? It’s my understanding that nothing is won without knives and trauma.
Coming from someone who is mentally ill, if we are forced into therapy we don’t want then we can be amazingly convincing pretending to be sane
Therapy? This is rubber-room material.
Could you explain what you mean by that?
I understand your comment to be a joke but I think it’s in bad taste. For a few reasons. First of all, there is no disorder or severity of symptoms bad enough to warrant being imprisoned in the rubber room (and I can’t think of a circumstance in which such a room would be helpful at all). I think one reason people resist treatment or seeking it out at times is the fear that they’ll end up in a straitjacket. So jokes like this are harmful because they reinforce that fear.
Secondly, the symptoms Amber is displaying aren’t THAT harmful. Like, not to diminish their impact, but Amber has not (as herself or as AG) acted in a way that’s completely socially unacceptable, caused harm to another in a non-vigilante fashion, and has not acted in a way meant to harm herself. It’s super fuckin’ bad that she can’t remember what she did but she’s not a danger to anyone.
So yeah. Please don’t imply that there’s no hope for Amber. It’s kind of shitty to do.
Kelly (can I call you Kelly?), Vigilantism is a friggen CRIME. Dress it up as you like, but her alter has completely dissociated to the point of no longer communicating with her and taking over her body while she sleeps to go out and beat up people at night under the pretense of “helping people”.
I dunno if that is at “rubber room” level, but that is definetly at “Danger to herself and others” level.
Something being a crime doesn’t make it bad or harmful. It just makes it illegal. If Amber was illegally downloading stuff, I doubt we’d be using it as a debate as to the harmfulness of her behaviour.
As for whether her behaviour is harmful… the only two times we’ve seen her go after someone in a way that didn’t seem to be about defence (of others or property) it was Amber’s choice. Her dad, and Sal. If we’re going to talk about the harmfulness of Amber’s alter, frankly, I think she’s functioning better than Amber is- from what little we’ve seen.
Do I think Amber should be/should have been going out as A-G? No. Because it wasn’t about want, but- as we can see now with the level of dissociation- it was a need. She needed help way before now.
Is she a danger to herself and others? Somewhat. But from what we’ve seen, I would say she’s a long way from “needs to be removed from society”. That would be far, far more harmful to her.
It was Amazi-Girl who went after Sal, not Amber. Both in the parking lot and stalking her at the rally.
Remember that time, back in the Bush administration, that FOX News published the address of a particularly nasty terrorist who was connected to the London bombings? But then it turned out that the terrorist had actually moved three years prior, and then the completely innocent family that had moved in since then were relentlessly harassed to the point that they feared for their children’s safety?
Here’s the link if you don’t: http://articles.latimes.com/2005/aug/25/local/me-lahabra25
This kind of shit is why vigilantism is a crime.
(and also why it’s bad and harmful)
In the real world, I agree. But this is a comic strip and Amazi-Girl is a superhero.
In the real world, if Amazi-Girl hand just gotten herself stomped into the ground on one of her first outings, she would have died in the car chase.
Nor is there any indication she does shit like harass alleged criminals based on news reports. She patrols and intervenes in active petty crimes. Which is a far cry from that kind of vigilantism. (Aside from her harassment of Sal, which was certainly wrong, but more personal.)
TW: self-destructive behaviour
My husband has bipolar. A few years ago he spent a fortnight in a mental health hospital because he was terrifyingly, desperately low (as in we spent the best part of a week where literally every time he walked out of the house, I didn’t know if I would see him alive again). He spent months trying to get help before reaching that state. When he was admitted, at first it really was “no shoelaces, belts, razors, things with wires…” territory. After a few days he was allowed out; he still wasn’t allowed those things on the ward because it was a secure ward. It was strictly no children – we had to book a family visitor room and he would be escorted from the ward to go there, and somebody would wait outside so he could see our child (then 15 months), until he was allowed to leave the ward, because some of the other people there were potentially violent.
He was tranquilised to the point his mother found it distressing to see him like that the first weekend. She hadn’t seen how agitated and far from OK he had been (we’d been talking on the phone but she wasn’t able to come visit before) – while it was obviously a chemical “calm” and it was horrible seeing him like that and for us to all know it was in his best interests – it was better than him smiling sheepishly and saying the police may be around to check up on him because he’d been playing chicken (as a pedestrian, with cars) but had run away when they arrived and he wasn’t sure if they’d know it was him or not, trying to push the focus onto the practical, trying to minimise the fact that he’d been making cars swerve to avoid hitting him… he needed to tell me because the police might have been able to piece together that it was him, but let’s not focus on the fact that he had hit the point where he was acting like that… (He was being honest about it to health professionals. That’s why e.g. the ambulance team who came to assess him convinced him to go to the ER to be assessed. The doctor agreed he needed help and referred him to a day hospital scheme. He called me up to let me know he was walking home… When he was actually admitted, it was after police were called because he was strongly considering jumping off a bridge onto a dual carriageway.)
But no rubber room. I don’t think they really do those any more, unless maybe *actually* for people tried for serious crimes and detained indefinitely under mental health acts because they are unfit to go to jail, but it may never be safe for them to be allowed back into the community…
She’s not beating up people at night under the pretense of “helping people”.
She’s actually helping people.
Partly I think what’s tripping people up here is the shifts in level of realism this strip displays. Amber isn’t a crazy girl who pretends to be a super-hero. She’s a crazy girl who is a super-hero. There’s a difference.
I submit that motive is relevant, and IMO, that motive is absolutely beating up people, but within a narrative that makes it somewhat acceptable.
This person/system has a whole lot of anger with no genuinely healthy or functional ways of expressing it.
Not harmful in what sense? Amber goes out at night and starts fights with people whom she has decided are criminals.
Generally by the completely ridiculous method of “seeing them commit crimes”.
She’s not picking people at random. In her last outing, she rescued a stolen dog. She’s obviously a horrible monster.
Amber definitely needs help. The split is getting worse. That’s bad. She’s still not some kind of rubber room candidate.
Well, this is the thing: She has problems, yeah? and we’ve seen AG try to goad people into fighting her when they aren’t commiting violent crimes (See: Dudes graffiting that Stop Sign, Sal and friends in the parking lot). And, taking in acount what we saw last week, she beat up that dognapper so bad that Amber woke up with wounded knuckles.
Who’s to say she won’t start getting worse? “Stepped in grass? GONNA BEAT YOU UP” “LITTERER! GONNA KICK YOUR ASS” “JAYWALKER, PREPARE YOUR ANUS!”.
It hasn’t been getting worse, in fact Amazi-girl caught herself about Sal and learned better. There’s no reason to insert a random slippery slope here. Also? If Amber hadn’t been dissociating at all, this would have been the exact same degree of problem. Amazi-girl’s vigilantism is something she and the Amber alter were in complete and perfect agreement was okay.
She might have been going to a knitting club the Amber alter no longer feels she deserves, and the problem would have been exactly the same: self-loathing leading to deeper dissociation. Both alters are still exactly as sane as each other, and if anything Amber’s worse off and is more likely to hurt herself and/or others (more likely herself). The problem is not that Amazi-girl is dangerous, the problem is that Amber is not okay.
We’ve seen AG try to goad people into fighting her when they aren’t committing violent^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hany crimes (See: Sal and friends in the parking lot)
Umm… Not that I disagree with you overall, but… Well, okay, a rubber room sounds uncomfortable, but in the sense of “padded room,” a room that doesn’t allow you to smash your skull in against the wall doesn’t sound like a bad idea per se. Not saying that Amber’s at that stage, but between “Room with thickly padded walls so you can’t kill yourself by smashing your head against the wall” and “Bring strapped down to your bed so you can’t smash your head against the wall,” I think I’d take the first. As in, if the choice is between a straitjacket and a padded room, I’d go for the one that lets me wave my arms around.
As for “she’s not a danger to anyone,” we don’t know what she’s been up to that gave her those bruises on her knuckles. And considering what she did to her father, and to Ryan, I find it hard to claim she’s not a danger to anyone. I mean, not that I have any problem with what she did with those two assholes, but still. “Not a danger” is… pushing it.
Being a danger to violent, abusive shitheads like Blaine and Ryan is a far cry from being dangerous to the general public.
So far, Sal is the only person she had gone after who she had not personally witnessed committing a violent crime, and that was a very specific, personal issue that is not likely to apply to others.
Everybody she actually beat up either was in the middle of a violent crime, or attacked AG when she showed up.
AG’s crime fighting isn’t legal, and her reasons for it aren’t healthy, but in general she hasn’t done anything that wouldn’t have been legal if she’d simply been there as a bystander and attempted to intervene.
Forced institutionalization is an extremely drastic (and as I understand it, often traumatizing) step, and not one that should be made light of with jokes about rubber rooms, men in white coats, etc. Amber absolutely does need some professional help, and an intervention or two might not be a bad idea, but as much as she thinks otherwise, she’s still less dangerous than someone who tends to go to bars looking to start fist fights.
But who decides who is a violent abusive shithead? Oh, right, Amazigirl/Amber does.
She’s been given an out, because her two victims were designated Bad Guys(tm) by the plot, but realistically speaking, do you trust her to always make the right judgment?
And do we trust Willis not to let her make a wrong decision for dramatic purposes….oh wait.
I mean, I’m willing to be proven wrong, but with the exception of Sal as already noted, she HAS made the right judgement. All the dudes she’s gone after have been doing objectively awful things as far as I can remember. We can hypothetical all day long but that is the canon as it currently stands.
Objectively awful? Worthy of getting physically beaten for? Two examples of no:
Taking a dog was a few strip ago and totally lacing in other context, but a nonviolent crime responded to, given Amazigirl patterns, by a blow to the head/face severe enough to knock someone down or out.
Said pattern was started here when Amazigirl punched a guy to hard he flew a foot or two and collided with something because he grabbed a backpack and ran.
Amazigirl is provably, we don’t know how much of the time, a violent stalker who is fond of brutal violent response to nonviolent infractions. She is definitely a danger to others.
I’m perfectly happy with punching someone to stop them from stealing a dog. That’s a heartbreaking, traumatic crime, even if it might have been technically non-violent.
Given who she’s attacked, the only reason I would be more likely to question her judgement in real life is because I wouldn’t know nearly as much about everyone else she’d attacked.
Besides, both of the “abusive shitheads” in question were immediate physical threats. Blaine was holding Danny hostage. Ryan literally attacked her with a knife. She also personally knew about the abuses each had committed. They weren’t random punks who she’d “decided” were dangerous assholes, she damn well knew it long before it ever came to violence.
Same goes for the other random criminals we’ve seen her fight. She’s stopped bike thefts, vandalism, assault, sexual assault, and dog-napping. Always, she stopped the crimes as they were happening, when it’s not hard to figure out who’s the criminal.
Yes, I’d be worried she’s going to fuck up, but I’d be far more worried she’ll end up getting herself hurt than someone else.
Drinking beer in a Walmart parking lot, or just intending to drink, isn’t really a violent crime either.
@HeatherJean:
Sal was the one exception. That was about a misguided attempt to work out her past trauma, not fighting crime, and she couldn’t go through it in the end.
Unless there’s other people who’ve been involved in traumatizing Amber as a child, it doesn’t seem like something likely to come up again.
She was goading the graffiti dudes into attacking her, so she could claim that beatin them up was legal. When they didn’t, she was p. obviously disappointed.
…and she still didn’t attack them.
I’m not denying she’s out there looking for a fight. It is explicitly what she’s doing. It’s nevertheless incredibly easy to avoid getting into a fight with her.
All you have to do is (1) not be attacking or robbing somebody when she shows up, and (2) not attack her or attempt to escape while you still have someone else’s property that she saw you steal
Is stealing a bike a violent crime?
Did we see the bike thief get beat up? Or just stopped from stealing a bike?
She did try to pick a fight with those engineering students.
What she was up to when she got the most recent set of bruises on her knuckles was stopping a dog-napper. We know that.
I mean, it’s possible Willis hasn’t shown us everything and she’s been out just randomly beating up anyone she meets, but there’s no evidence for it. Any of our characters could have been doing the same.
I choose to believe Mike follows Amazigirl around and kicks everyone she doesn’t fight.
respectfully, I doubt you have seen somebody beat their head against a wall till they have ripped enough flesh that you can see skull. The padded room has a valid purpose. Not saying Amber should be in one right now, but they are not some antiquated part of psychotherapy that can only be viewed as abusive today. They have legitimate uses.
my university gym used to have a padded room for martial arts classes. I’m still pissed off that they turned it into a locker room for some sports team. 😛
(yes, that’s a very different kind of padded room. perhaps it’s not the padding that’s the problem, but the lock?)
Kelly-
Thank you for saying this.
That was true until the Truck. She almost died.
Sal saved her.
Here’s an idea, don’t be an asshole
has amber considered trashing the suit?
That wouldn’t actually solve anything, it’d just mean Amazi-Girl would have to improvise
And you don’t want to know what happens when a vigilante improvises on their costume.
It’s happened to Spider-Man, before.
He also had to wear a cheap costume shop version of his outfit that shrunk in the rain, back in the early days.
I have a feeling that Amazi-girl would just go get it again, and put it away where it belongs.
That would make things infinitely worse.
…. so that’s what’s going to happen.
Just because it’s the worst possible thing that CAN happen does not mean it WILL…
Fine, I see your point.
I can think of worse, but not saying because.
…well
Literally none of this is a good sign, is it?
I dunno. That indicator for future lights seems like a pretty good sign to me!
Eh, it’s just written on cardboard with blue Sharpie.
She’s still in the rapid prototyping phase.
I mean it’s only been tested once without an empty closet.
NOPE
…She’s not letting Amazi-Girl push her around?
Pretty sure that’s a moot point when she has no control over her body when AG’s using it.
Then I got nothin :/
Same :c This is gonna be bad.
She’s starting a war with her own brain.
I’ve been in one of those for some time now.It gets pretty nasty and petty periodically, but has settled down to more of a “Cold War” currently.
Mine’s much better today 🙂 going to the gym (and damn the consequences) worked out pretty well this time.
Dangit Amber, why can’t you leave the costume in a garbage can in an alleyway, like any good superhero quitter?
hee
yes
Well this is unsettling
No matter how you interpret that scene, it ends up being an “Oh, that’s not good at all.” moment. 😛
I still have no clue what mechanism was throwing clothes at Amber yesterday
Have you never attempted to automate your morning routine before? Obviously the spaghetti code is to blame.
Well, the REAL problem is that she wrote the code so as not to be seen. Obfuscated C is a hazard, y’all.
The REAL problem is: this is what happens when software people try their hand at hardware design for the first time.
Judging by what we can see today and what we saw yesterday, it looks like the costume is supposed to either flip over or pull up, and then some sort of mechanism (perhaps some comic-looking cartoon-style robot hands) is supposed to eject it; however, with actual clothes in the closet, the mechanism- much like when trying to grab the right doll out of a crane game- ended up grabbing what was up top and, due to the difference in expected presentation, ended up flinging what it did manage to grab more dramatically than expected.
Mechanism? It was the suit.
What if the suit was Amazi-Girl all along, and we only thought Amber had split-personality? O.O
(I guess each time she split personalities without the full suit on, she was like, slipping a glove onto her hand or something?)
It wouldn’t be WalkyVerse without some kind of alien menace, after all- right? 😛
Okay. The suit is a form the tramatized Cheese took in this universe and has been mentally controlling Amber. No? OK, I’ve got nothing.
Cool. Log10(n) where n = the number of visible comments at the time this post was written is such that it exceeds zero and is less than one.
… So you’re in the first 10 comments? Congratulations?
When I first got here, there were three comments. Now, 10 comment chains exist above me. I’m evidently a slow typer.
Willis has a strong fanbase that hugs the reset, and plenty of Patreon backers that get to view the comic early and will load up solely to post a comment. There’s nearly always an explosion of comments right after a comic is posted, and all it takes to have your comment be supplanted by another one is a fraction of a second.
*fanbase(, with many who hug) the reset
Someone needs to take a flamethrower to that costume.
Then she’d become some weird nearly-naked pyro villain, and that- while perhaps evoking a few appreciably amusing “Hot” puns- wouldn’t exactly be an improvement for Amber.
But it does sound like an improvement for Willis’s Slipshine income!
Oh good, full split. Yaaaaaaay. Thiiiiis is gonna get worse before it gets better.
Cue Gollum conversation ripoff in 3… 2…
Well this is definitely not good. It’s like a more heroic version of Smeagul arguing with Gollum or something.
“you don’t have any friends!”
They needs us! The puppies needs us, Amber!
With the sole difference being that the obsessive and violent traits are in the Smeagul half rather than the Gollum half for Amber, yeah.
Though, given her promise to go around kicking helpless, weak innocents, I feel like she’s also doing Gollum’s personality progression in reverse, going from uncertain-minded Fellowship Gollum to crazy-loner Hobbit Gollum; so weirdly, as her personality shifts become more emphasized (as they do as LOTR progresses) they’re also becoming more blurred (in reverse of LOTR progression). Leave it to Amber to take a concept, put her on spin on it, and then dial it up to 11.
I’m getting a Fight Club vibe.
Oh, she did the Smeagol/Gollum bit when she was in her couch-fort hiding from Sal. This, considering the suit appears to be talking to her, is somewhat more extreme.
You mean your suit doesn’t talk to you? I’d ask for a refund.
Suit? No, got it a discount place. My pyjamas, however….
Take that suit to an exorcist, immediately.
*plays U2’s “With Or Without You” on the hacked Muzak*
The hacked Muzak has knocked it out of the park this time.
Thinking of following that up with Styx’s “Double Life”.
Nowhere to hide, though we both might try,
I’m schizophrenic and so am I
Double life, a double life,
A masquerade,
You know we all live a masquerade…
How about “Both Sides of the Coin” from “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”?
Maybe “My evil twin” by They Might be Giants.
https://youtu.be/r1Esq1l0Yoo
We have reached full blown psychosis.
I’m distantly hoping that it’s merely somebody shouting in another room in some kind of weird coincidence, but the tags probably blow that out of the water. So, uh, yeah, this may be a problem.
Oh this isn’t good. She’s hearing the suit speaking.
If the suit is speaking, she isn’t hallucinating.
It’s AG. What’s worrying is that she’s trying to perceive AG as not even connected to her headmeat, as inhabiting an object she could “throw away”. There is no good down this road of thought.
C’mon Amber, impersonation is wrong.
I’ve seen Superman III, so I think I know where this is going.
The landfill. Duh.
Almost. The suit will spend the day in a dumpster, but it will be back in its place in the closet come morning.
…. but it ended up in the landfill in Superman III….
….. erm, spoilers.
Okay, not gonna stop worrying about Amber anytime soon.
Is she self-narrating the NOOOOOOO in between insulting and threatening herself? Because that’s creepy as shit.
Unless she’s doing it ironically.
Comic Reactions:
So… I’m going to speak very specifically here from the perspective of having DID, of having had DID for pretty much my entire life within memory, and of reading Amber/AG as either having DID or having a very closely related condition involving dissociation and distinct alters.
And from this perspective… this is bad.
And especially Panel 3 is deep abiding terror, softly going “nooooo” levels of bad.
“I thought I’d made it quite clear that you’re no longer necessary.”
There is no worse decision one could make when dealing with alters than this sort of ill-advised power play, the wholesale attempt to treat an alter as an imaginary friend and try and devise a means of starving them of air time in the conscious mind.
To act as if they are a thing to be dismissed, a delusion to be shut out rather than a person with feelings and a strong sense of survival.
Because alters don’t just go away. They aren’t just small-level delusions or games of fantasy you can shake out of your head and attempts to play hardball like this just breeds intense enmity and that alter refusing to play nice and share memories.
And we’re seeing the fruits of that. Amber walking up without AG’s memories of crime fighting, AG taking over the body when Amber is out of commission. When alters get nasty like this, the whole suffers and it becomes so much harder to recover because no integration or cooperation can occur until the two alters are speaking civilly with each other again.
Amber/AG have now made their lives so much harder because of this choice they have made and without external support, I’m not sure how they get back now that Amber has tried to burn that bridge to this extent.
And the thing is, the mistake she is making is the mistake that past therapists made in treating DID, in encouraging exactly this kind of wrong-headedness. Old protocols that did far more harm and damage in the name of treating the condition and those with it as something they were not.
And there are plenty still who still believe this is “what she should have done”. There’s been no end to folks who have called on her to “stop pretending to be AG”, to “throw away the costume”, to burn those few crumbling bridges between the alters out of a failure to understand this mental landscape and what it means to have alters.
And the whole thing is fucking terrifying.
Not least of all because of the Amber alter’s insistence on interpreting herself as a literal villain, as if AG’s role is “salvaging her” rather than existing in her own right, and acting as though because she can’t value herself, she’s not allowed to hold the mental condition she does.
But that’s the thing, mental health is not about worthiness, perceived or not. It simply is. Even if Amber was as awful as she wants to believe herself to be, it does not change her reality as one of two alters occupying her headmeat.
And that fight, angrily and deliberately mistreating the AG alter out of frustration to be normative. Out of a desire to fulfill the narrative she has crafted for herself?
It’s only deepening the issue and ensuring that AG curls deeper into the parts of the mind that Amber can’t follow.
And I fear for Amber/AG because she’s step by step doing everything wrong she possibly could to manage her condition and things are getting so much worse.
And it’s just… a terrifying trainwreck to watch.
Thank you for sharing your perspective with proper insight into how DID works and how it has been historically/should be treated.
Without that, it’s clear that Amber is in pain, iin a terrible state of self-loathing, and the situation is Not Good. With it… It’s also evidently spiralling downwards and going to get worse…
Is it possible/desirable for Amber to reclaim ownership of the traits she can’t see in herself that led to AG’s existence as a separate alter, and for AG to ultimately fade away, leaving an Amber who knows that she can be strong, courageous, disciplined, honourable, admirable, etc? (Ideally without needing to also endanger herself by fighting crime; as Sal pointed out to Danny, AG can be terrifyingly reckless…)
This isn’t quite my area, please correct anything I get wrong. If I understand correctly, opinions differ on the best (most evidence-supported) practices with DID, especially since there isn’t enough research and every person is different. But! one good outcome might be if the alters work together to become more integrated, maybe even to the extent that they can see themselves as one whole person again. Nobody has to fade away, but the distinction between them might fade, so that they’re all important aspects of a whole integrated person.
Another good outcome might be that they work together, like a committee or like the little brain guys in Inside Out, with each alter honoring the importance and skills of each other. In this model, they don’t become one, but they work as a team for the person’s benefit.
Amber/AG are very far from either outcome right now.
Also yes it would absolutely be good for Amber to realize and reclaim ownership of positive traits — anybody who hates themselves would be healthier to not hate themselves anymore. (It wouldn’t be easy, obviously, to throw out all those years of internalized abuse. She’d work really, really hard in therapy, as many in the comments section can attest.)
Self esteem wouldn’t necessarily lead to AG fading away. It could enable a far less abusive dynamic between them, though.
All of this.
AG and Amber are alters, so neither is likely to “fade away”. What they need is to communicate and cooperate and trust each other so they work as a system again instead of this.
Thank you for sharing. I learned some things 🙂
I wish Amber could see that she and AG are not so different. If she was relying on AG to be the good-person alter, though, it’s going to be a long, hard road. Either she’ll have to accept that AG isn’t perfect, or that she’s not as bad as she thinks.
Then AG talks about Amber like she’s volatile, when AG’s the one who channels her whole self into vigilantism.
I wish someone would recognise that talking to one about the other means recognising that this isn’t just Amber having a secret identity. That they’re different, and that Amber’s relationship with AG isn’t just her relationship with herself.
I’ll be interested to see whether we’re going down the DID route. I think it’s likely, but there’s still part of me that wants to say “Amber has shown ability to throw her voice and imitate AG and maybe she’s just being silly and dramatic!! Maybe???”
we’re definitely going down the DID route. Amber mentioned dissociation, and now she’s losing time.
As a member of a dissociative system I feel like maybe I need to also pitch in but I couldn’t really think of what to say so I’ll pretty much just say everyone needs to read this comment from Cerberus.
I can independently confirm they’ve got it right both in terms of the experience of DID. what has been proven to work for those who live healthily with it, and the current academic understanding.
*Supportive Dissociative System hugs offered*
yup.
on the bright side, at least amber and AG both can do words. someone’s been screaming in the back of my head all day and I don’t understand why 🙁 she seems desperate to stop anything from happening but I can’t get any reasons or anything coherent really… just screaming… 🙁 and a lot of our intelligence seems missing at the moment, and I’m not sure if that’s cause or effect.
A question, if you don’t mind: do you ascribe any significance to Amazi-Girl’s voice coming from the suit itself?
Yes, it means that Amber is violently rejecting AG’s existence and AG is not talking in the typical manner with Amber, which means it will be a lot harder for the two to cooperate again.
Which means more lost moments and mistrust between them.
Thank you.
It’s especially worrying because last time we saw Amber and Amazi-Girl interact, they seemed to be doing better – split, but talking and coordinating.
It’s not quite clear what drove this deeper split – obviously the stabbing of Ryan, but why did it have this effect?
Self image is a powerful force. Seriously.
not sure if it’s the factor, but Amber seems to be leaning harder than ever before on that aspect (or alter) being completely worthless and irredeemable (thank you so much, Rachel).
As someone else who understands I’d like your opinion on something commented further up, saying Amber needs to find Therapy now.
In my personal experience when forced into therapy that I’m not ready for i can play an amazingly convincing Sane just to get people off my back. I understand it’s wildly unhelpful but it’s how i rebel when forced into something i don’t want to do.
Do you have any experience with this?
I had a DID lover who spend her voluntary therapy with not letting her psychologist know how things really were because she though her incompetent and not reliable.
So going voluntarily does not make a therapy effort successful. The way Amber is going, I think she would profit most from going to a group with other people with similar issues, maybe even a self help group. With DID, you might be able to fool a not-so-well prepared therapist, but other people with DID will catch you out.
And it might be necessary for someone to force her in some way, because her self-image doesn’t allow her to seek help.
I just lock up and vanish inside myself. … kinda like how I feel today, actually. I didn’t think we were pushing that hard, we were really trying to be gentle and take things slow, just, it gets so frustrating when parts of me can’t handle basic self-care! augh! sooo angry at whoever’s curled up in a ball right now, tbh. 🙁 I don’t like being angry with myself, it sucks for both sides.
then again, maybe I’m experiencing a delayed reaction; maybe I overdid the thinking on sunday… I knew I was pushing it a little but I expected consequences to show up as physical pain, not… *this*… :/
although “this” could be the real source of a lot of the physical pain, so actually this makes way more sense than I thought it did.
so, yay learning? 🙂
*hugs*
Hey Cerberus, or anyone else who has experience living with DID or a similar disorder, I was wondering if you would be able to offer me some advice on how to support my younger sibling (16) who recently expressed to me that they have DID/ something similar. While fortunately it seems like they’re doing fine with it and have a support system of internet friends who also have DID, i feel like their support in real life is really lacking. Our parents are generally supportive, but not extremely educated, and whenever the topic of these sorts of disorders has been brought up to them in conversation they tend to demonize it as something from a horror movie, which has been extremely disheartening to my sibling. I’m pretty sure that if they were to express this to our parents, they would probably try to deny it and tell my sibling that they’re making it up. I’m just finishing up my first semester of college, so I haven’t been extremely present in my home life, but over winter break and of course beyond that I want to be able to provide my sibling with as much support as I can and also maybe show them some good representations of DID to make them feel better about the awful representation in mainstream media. So i guess really I’m asking: How can I be a better ally to my younger sibling, and does anyone know of some positive representations of DID that I could show them? I love Amber and would to show this comic to them, but Amber is not exactly a shining example of how to cope, so I’m hoping maybe the wonderful commenters here might know of better characters I can show them?
My recommendation is to ask your sibling what they need in support.
Do they need someone safe to vent to about what they are dealing with? Do they need someone to help remind them they are not worthless? Do they need someone to help them keep track of events?
Ask them what they need and show them that you love them.
another thing they might need: someone to call their parents out on that demonization BS.
as for positive representations… I think there were some mentioned on r/DID but I can’t easily check right now. feel free to remind me again in a day or two.
In fiction the Hulk/ bruce Banner is an Avenger with DID.
Per cannon The gamma didnt Give him DID.
HIS DID made his transformation, take that form.
Marsha Lineham is a therapist who was hospitalized Borderline Personality Disorder. One that achieved a remission and came out with many innovative treatments.
If he/she/they struggles with self esteem issues after episodes.. triggering ( unwanted occurrences )
I would remind him/her/they that they are a full person with value and they are not the sum of a disease process. Some people with personality disorders struggle with personal stigma, and feel like its their essence with disease.
MInd you, You dont want to say that to a person and imply they ought to feel that way, and you are rescuing them. ( dont do that ) .
But if they are struggling and confide this in you, then assure them they have a value and worth far above and beyond any mental illness.
Its not the total sum of who they are.
Thats my opinion for whats its worth.
Thank you. I always look forward to your insights, and I was hoping you’d comment on this strip. I had very little knowledge about DID before reading this comic, and your thoughts help me to better understand what it is and what it must be like to suffer from it…And also just how bad things are for Amber/AG atm.
Also, if I can make a polite request to everyone.
Yes, Amber/AG are dealing with some intense mental health conditions and that prompts comment, but please keep in mind that some of your fellow readers have conditions involving dissociation and alters and that universal comments trashing Amber surrounding that will have splash damage.\
So please, just think before you comment.
I imagine the Chief Overlord is going to be keeping a close watch on the comments for a while.
therapy’s no option, huh?
I don’t think anyone anywhere is saying that.
Therapy can absolutely help. Especially in serving as a mediator between two alters who refuse to play nicely with each other as we see in this case.
Amber/AG would greatly benefit from therapy to help stop the downward slide of handling her condition she’s on. She’d probably also benefit from techniques to help specifically her Amber and AG alter’s issues with self-esteem and viewing themselves as being valuable and deserving of life.
Therapy is an option only if she is willing. In my personal experience when I’m forced into therapy against my will i end up making it completely useless by turning it into a game of “How long do i have to pretend that I’m sane so people will leave me alone to go back to destroying myself”
There’s an old joke about that:
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
Mandated therapy can help some people, but it’s significantly more difficult, because you’ve gotta find out what will motivate the client to buy into it and do the work even when it gets tough. People aren’t fools, and therapy is hard, they’re not gonna do it just because somebody else thinks it’s a good idea. A person needs some motivation to keep at it for themselves.
All that said, it’s totally fine to start therapy for the benefit of somebody else in your life. Whatever works to get started.
Here are some common examples for folks in mandated therapy, even if they have little internal motivation, and are solely motivated for others in their lives:
“I don’t want to die only because dying would destroy my family.” (Note that a person can use this motivation even if they don’t quite believe that they can feel less depressed! However, they probably can’t use it if they deeply believe that their family will be better off without them.)
“I want to stay off of drugs so I can get my kids back.” (This person doesn’t necessarily want to be drug-free for the sake of being sober, but they want to regain their beloved family and that is plenty of motivation to start therapy.)
“If I don’t take my meds consistently, my spouse will leave me.” (This may breed resentment, but at least it buys time for the meds to kick in — perhaps the person may have success on the meds and decide that they prefer how their life is when they’re on them, it’s worth a try.)
Intrinsic motivations are the best of all, because you can’t fake your way out of them (as with Mydnyt’s example above of the motivation that totally didn’t work), and because internal motivations are just far stronger when push comes to shove. (Examples: I don’t want to die because I want to become happy. I want to stay off of drugs to be a great parent to my children and I’ll be so proud. I want to take my meds because I’m far more in control of my actions when I’m on them.)
But you just need one imperfect-but-true reason to get you going.
It buys you time to come up with more/better reasons later.
I’m not sure what Amber’s imperfect external motivation could be. “I want to go to therapy so Amazi-Girl will quit sneaking off and punching people” might be pretty potent, if only she knew it was an option.
yup! I started seeing my current therapist to make my boyfriend (now husband) feel better; I didn’t think it would help, but also knew I wasn’t capable of believing anything would help anyways. I wasn’t unwilling, just… temporarily incapable of hope. which is a much easier situation to dig yourself out of than being actively opposed to improvement.
I have no idea if I’ve said anything wrong in the past about this; I sort of assume I have, because I always assume I’m messing up.
I just wanted to say that if I have, I apologize. And not merely about DID. I have appreciated every comment of yours I have ever read on this site, and I have learnt more from you than I’m entirely certain you can appreciate, if only because I’ve not always taken the time to mention the fact to you.
Cerb,
Do you think the Dissociation(s) and Splitting found in Borderline, are some of the same types also found in DID ?
Is Dissociation an overused English term for multiple types of phenomena ?
or is it the same just different in degree?
( note: I know you dont owe us an education on this topic;
but you are the resident expert and I think your viewpoint if you wish to share it, would be highly insightful )
~ adam
well, I’m not Cerb, but I can answer about half of that 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_(psychology) actually has a decent explanation.
tl;dr: dissociation is a group of symptoms that can be part of several disorders. it’s also something brains do normally in much smaller doses – like when you zone out on a familiar route and don’t remember most of hte journey.
as for BPD, it includes some dissociation, but also a bunch of other serious symptoms (splitting (which I find a really misleading term for b&w thinking) like you said, impulsivity etc). DID, otoh, is basically all dissociative things iirc?
I’m not sure there’s enough research to say anything sensible about “types” of dissociation… except that imho, descriptions of depersonalization/derealization disorder seem the most “different” from DID in that they’re all about the more sensation-y/tangible weirdness and not about having more than one “you”. I’m still not clear on what parts of dissociation tend to show up in BPD; the stigma around that diagnosis is pretty huge still from what I’ve seen – like, worse than the stigma of DID. so I haven’t seen many people on the internet admit to having it.
sometimes I feel like I’m halfway between OSDD and BPD myself. :/ I don’t have the more stigmatized symptoms like impulsivity and anger issues, but my emotions sure are unstable and overwhelmingly strong.
Self loathing is a percussion instrument. If others tell you that you have in fact worth you might not believe it.
we’ve seen this in other strips with Amber since the timeskip, with her refusing to listen to anyone saying that her actions were not bad and those of a monster, or actually admirable.
Um, uh, everything’s perfectly all right. Situation normal… Uhh, we had a slight brain malfunction, but uhh… everything’s perfectly alright now. We’re fine, we’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
Stupid conversation anyway.
Uhh… She thinks the costume is talking to her. She’s disassociating and hearing voices. This is not a good sign.
I think she might need to be institutionalised.
Given that if she sought out professional help and confessed to them her alter’s routine and ongoing A&B vigilantism, putting them in a place where they have to see her as at threat to others… yeah, the most likely results are either institutionalization or no therapy at all.
She would certainly have a sympathetic jury, probably judge, too. And if she turned herself in… I don’t think she’d face jail time unless she refused counseling. Institutionalization could be great or go sideways very fast.
I think she might need to talk to other people about what’s going on with her, ask their opinion and maybe ask for help. Or just step 1, believe that she’s worthy of helping to begin with.
From there, she’ll benefit from actual therapy, like, periodically talking to a therapist.
Forceful institutionalizing? I don’t think she’s an active immediate threat to either herself or others, soooo probably no.
Someone help Amber for gods’ sake. This subplot is making me anxious.
Amber’s got a friends helping or trying to help her. Dina, Ethan, Danny, even Joe now.
It’s just none of them now how to therapy.
I doubt any of them realise the extent of her problems either.
They don’t need to know how to therapy, they just need to get her to a trained professional who does.
Get Dorothy, stat. Actually get Carla first, to freak out and unintentionally let the whole floor know. And from there, Dorothy sees the urgency of the situation, takes a break from her studying, and convinces Amber to get professional help. And then Joe and Danny can take her to the hospital, and they check up on her from time to time. It’s a collaborative effort for the whole 3rd floor! in return for saving them from Dangerous Threat Ryan.
Helping someone who doesn’t want help is hard enough. Helping someone who doesn’t believe they deserve help, or even can be helped is much, much harder.
1000 times so true
And add to that somebody who has been training for years to be a literal superhero. Imagine trying to institutionalize Amazi-Girl.
I want a new Psychologist-Themed Batman villain who just wants to capture him for some grief counseling.
Very much this!
And to remind him that the Comic Code is not a coherent moral framework.
It’s not coherent? It’s not moral? It’s not a framework?
(Pick two?)
Harley Quinn is a criminal psychiatrist, so…
I’m not sure building a secret closet is the best way to prove that Amazi-Girl is unnecessary.
Noooo, not the kittens!!!
Nooooo
Yeah, Amber has reached a critical crisis alright. I wonder how she’ll react when she realises she can’t do mean things because… well, because she’s basically a good person?
Do you think it works that way? I consider myself a basically good person, but I catch myself doing mean things to my parents from time to time. And also some of the readers in the library.
read from here: http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=202
(just to lighten up the mood a bit)
accidentally mean is very different from intentionally mean, at least when it comes to capacity. anyone can be accidentally mean; being intentionally mean is generally a lot harder.
Everyone has faults but yea hopefully this ends in Amber realizing she can’t bring herself to do kick the puppy level of horrible things.
I’m wondering if this part of her arc will end with her tearfully begging Sal to hurt her, only she’ll describe it as ‘punishing’ her.
I wish I could say “reached” as there’s no telling how worse it will get in the next few strips.
Actually, for this in-universe day, a lot of people need an appropriate (hug and also talk).
do I want to know what happened in our universe now? :/
Doug Jones just won the Alabama Senate seat. 🙂
Dang. Can’t make fun of Alabama any more…
I’m sorta good, but I would have no trouble kicking an evil kitten.
(if you don’t believe in evil kittens, Google has a surprise for you)
Rrrnnnnnggghhh…
(Note: this is a frustrated and worried groan meant to say “noooo this is all bad please go see a damn therapistttt”, please don’t interpret it otherwise)
Amber, this is not going to help you heal. I’m sure your university provides some level of psychological help. SEEK IT OUT!
Why should she? She’s a monster, in her own mind. Monsters don’t need or benefit from ‘help’.
Yeah, plus her dad has instilled the idea deep in her that “seeking help” is not an option.
Her experiences of abuse and her dad’s rejection of the value of therapy or even letting other people know what is going on are a large part of what is preventing Amber/AG from getting outside help she would clearly benefit from.
EXTREMELY small sliver of light – if she feels “the worst has already happened”, at least one obstacle for seeking help is removed.
Many remain.
Fduge Blaine.
Fudge with walnuts, even.
Talking costumes aside…
I was hoping that maybe the *reports* of “Amazi-Girl” would turn out to be Sal in a cobbled together yellow and blue T-shirt to “keep the flame alive” while Amber was laid-up…
Which could then lead to a bit of drama/tension/maybe resolution between them when Amber found out.
I guess it still could, but the drama when Amber found out would be a little bit different now, making her think she was utterly disassociated…
…but then there’s the talking suit… 🙁
Amber woke up and saw marks on her knuckles. It was definitely her.
SCraped knuckles may be gotten in many ways …
(I know.. I Know… I’m reaching..
Sal doesn’t know who Amazi-Girl is so wouldn’t know she was down and wouldn’t want to ‘keep the flame alive’ even if she did.
She would know she’s not been *seen around* in recent times…
She’s fairly certain she’s a student…
She doesn’t need to know who the *alter* is to keep the flame alive…
…still feasible 🙂 (unlikely, but feasible.)
so she indeed didn’t remember doing that, uh.
Yeah, it’s really bad. It means that AG no longer feels comfortable sharing memories which is likely to be reciprocated and mean full on amnesiac events.
Best case scenario, perhaps: Amber, dressed as Amazi-girl, gets caught performing some vandalism, because unlike Amazi-girl, Amber doesn’t have the (over)confidence to escape acrobatically. Someone in campus security manages to realize that she’s got issues, and she gets convinced to get counseling.
Amazi-girl and Amber are better off working together, at least when Amazi-girl isn’t riding on the outside of vehicles.
I just started watching the Amazon version of “The Tick” in which Arthur is struggling with some kind of serious mental health issue. It’s a goofy show but they manage to take that part pretty seriously. I’m only on episode 2 though.
But this… I realize (thank you Cerberus and others) I didn’t know the first thing about DID, had only ever thought of it as a plot point and not as a complicated issue that actual people suffer from.
My psych minor was almost 40 years ago but I’ve read other nonfiction in the field since then. Somehow I only actually learn anything real it seems through fiction and the community around fiction. Not sure what that means.
I think it means we humans learn well through storytelling.
And also that the academic discourse is leagues behind where it ought to be.
I think the Tick pilot left open the possibility that he was a physical manifestation of Arthur’s mind, brought forth by stress, and who just won’t leave. Sort of a variant of DC’s old Thunderbolt character. I don’t remember Tick having an actual origin story in any of his previous (3?) incarnations, so maybe that’s still in the running.
Hey, Willis, you screwed up!
Amazi-Suit had a line, but isn’t tagged. That’s just wrong.
The suit is a new character
I never thought there’d be a moment where I say “NO AMBER AMAZI-GIRL WAS A GOOD IDEA PLEASE GO BACK TO IT”… yet there I am.
OH MY GOD
SEE A THERAPIST
HOW HAS NO ONE SAID THIS TO HER YET
Seriously after how far she went on Ryan (not that I’m complaining) plus her past with stabby stabs how is this not court ordered
Seriously. The has been pissing me off for years jUST GET SOME HELP OH MY GOD
People probably have suggested it. She’s likely rejected it, after all she’s “irredeemable garbage”.
Nothing she’s known to have done is sufficient to get her a court ordered commitment. Possibly the original stabbing, but that obviously didn’t happen, thanks to Blaine.
Fudge Blaine.
Because nobody has any idea of her issues, she’s given only vague clues that only make sense if you already know what she’s talking about.
You know, something like 90% of us don’t know about stuff like DID, or at least didn’t when we first started reading the comic and comments. Yet I don’t think I’ve heard anyone living with DID ever say that the situation in the comic was anything but relatable. Not misrepresentative, not distorted or ill-informed, not stereotypical.
I don’t think I’ve said this before, but I am very, very, very impressed with Willis’s ability to deeply research a diverse array of topics and portray them with a sensitivity, honesty, compassion, and a bit of humor thrown in for good measure, and do so in such a way that the communities represented feel that they are represented accurately.
…..
Also, Damn You Willis.
^ this
Amber is asleep and dreaming? I don’t know; I’ve got nothing.
Possible explanations for today’s comic that don’t rely on Amber having a complete mindsplit:
It’s a dream. The over-elaborate costume-dispersing device and the talking suit point to that. So she fights with the talking suit, one of them wins, and she wakes up, possibly still with bruised knuckles. OR:
Amber isn’t actually talking to the suit, but to the person running around in it at night: the “nooooooo” response is coming from the amazi-walkie_talkie on the suit’s belt.
Or the Amazi-girl suit is a high tech experimental device stolen from Carla’s parents’ laboratories! It can cause peripheral space-time hiccups which resulted in Danny spit-taking his own drink implausibly long after drinking it.
Amber DID has reached a level where suits are capable of forming actual speech bubbles of their own, in the real world and not in Amber’s head, coming from the suit itself. How far does this rabbit hole go?
In seriousness though, I feel really bad for Amber now 🙁 I did before too of course, but you know what I mean
Crap. I really wanted one of those kickstarter books, but apparently, kickstarter only accepts credits cards. I do not have one. In Germany, you do not need one most of the time.
Give it a few months, they’ll come to the store.
And sadly, we probably haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Though it’s getting close.
Irredeemable? She’s the Plutonian?
Mr. Willis I respect your authorship and hope that this topic is used to demonstrate why proper mental health care is a MUST especially after severely traumatic events. Amber is clearly manifesting symptoms of PTSD or PTS as some have taken to using. Please let this strip show a healthy example of what a prompt and immediate intervention can do to help someone recover or even overcome their trauma.
Calling it now, Joe will save the day and not with the help of little Joe which is how he’d normally solve the situation
Fulsome praise for all the informative and helpful comments relating to Amber’s condition. Had I Internets to bestow, they would be yours.
My comment isn’t showing up.
Well now it is.
Wait… what?
I’d changed my gravatar and my comments weren’t showing. Now they obviously are. 😀