Frankly it feels more like repressing to me. She just is talking and explaining and rationalizing because if she would stop she would risk falling apart.
1. She said she’s talking to a therapist. Therapists are not usually the same as psychiatrists. This is almost certainly just talk therapy, not drug therapy.
2. We haven’t seen her conversations with her therapist. It’s rather insulting to conjecture that she’s rationalizing and that she’s talked to therapists “for a long time” without any of them noticing, without any evidence to back that up.
I’m not blaming the therapist or anything. I’m just saying that she feels a bit too… like she is trying to convince herself that everything is okay.
And seriously, what’s even insulting here? She is a friggin fictional character. What can be insulting here?
It’s insulting because a lot of people use talk therapy without medication, or limited medication, and it works for us. Crying during therapy isn’t repression, and medication is very helpful for some people but other people don’t want to use it and find talk therapy (CBT, DBT, or other types) works fine.
So, yeah, it’s incredibly insulting to say talk therapy is just “talking and explaining and rationalizing” (your exact words) when it’s actually a very healthy coping mechanism to use post-trauma–or to deal with milder kinds of mental illness like chronic depression or anxiety.
Don’t insult people’s coping mechanisms then get mad when people call you out on it.
Medication is actually usually a bad idea for this kind of thing: short term reaction to trauma. For more serious or long term issues it certainly can be good – depending on the specifics of course.
At this point, you’re trying to process the trauma without it becoming a serious long term problem.
Literally the only two things she says here is (1) She talks to a therapist, and (2) crying is healthy. How do you get repression/pretending things are “okay” from that? If anything, it sounds like the opposite of repression.
I mean it’s been a few days. Some people might need longer than that to get back on their emotional feet, but I think most people would be roughly where Dorothy’s at.
Yeah, seriously. I bought a new laptop in late 2015 and was so against setting up a new computer that it was early 2017 before I actually opened the damn thing and did it.
Setting up a new computer? Nah. You turn it on and if it doesn’t immediately work the way you want it’s broken. Double birds and ask for a new one. The Walky method is very expensive.
I usually just clone the entire hard drive to a new drive, bork the Program Files and Windows folders, and reinstall on top. All my files and most of my settings are saved, and anything that needs to be tweaked, I can just pull the config data off the old drive.
I uh, used to brick operating systems regularly when I was much younger.
…So, is there like a certain technique to this, or is it pretty straightforward, or? Online tutorials confuse and anger me, so this knowledge would be very useful.
a linux rescue cd and the ddrescue man page? (…plus a dozen little details that have been second nature to me for a couple of decades, so I don’t have a clue what they might be)
Easeus disk cloning program, let it clone your old drive to your new drive, disconnect old drive (so you have a saved working backup just in case), reinstall Windows on top. It won’t delete your files, and the older program files and windows folders will be renamed so you can get whatever you need from them.
It’s not an easy thing to do. I spent years figuring that out with trial and error…
Generally it’s easier to just isolate the core OS on it’s own HDD (preferably) or partition then use junctions (on Win) or sym links (on modern *NIX OSs) to make the system user space folders (such as My Documents) and install folders point to the appropriate place on the non-OS drive. Then for Windows you can set up a script to backup the registry, and whatever folder(s) Win uses for DLLs these days, periodically on that HDD as well.
on unix-like systems, there’s no need to use symlinks for this; the filesystem is one big tree and you just mount different volumes at different points on the tree. so you can (for example) have one disk (or partition) mounted at /, and another mounted at /home.
True, but I’ve historically found that *NIZ neophites tend to have a harder time dealing with that than with sym links when coming from DOS, Win, etc and once they’ve learned to work in a *NIX environment doing mounts becomes trivial enough they don’t need to be told.
This is a myth promulgated by the creators of shitty operating systems. My Linux machines routinely run for years without rebooting and with no loss of performance.
My laptop recently got rebooted after almost five years of continuous uptime, only because I didn’t notice that the outlet I’d plugged it into wasn’t actually supplying power until after it drained the battery.
i find myself switching computers a lot, so i ended up writing a python script that installs a bunch of configs and sets everything up just the way i like it. So when i’m moving into a new machine, all i gotta do is install arch, and download and run my script.
I got a little jealous of Agent May in Agents of Shield when they (spoilers?) “rebooted” her brain to fix brain problems. I’ve been wanting to do that to my brain for a decade. Rebooting, that is, not the circumstances on the show.
Mine overheats if I don’t carefully ration my thinking. And…. that started as just a silly metaphor, but as the weather heats up, my ability to process input is noticeably decreasing. :/
I like text. Nice and low-bandwidth. And nobody notices my lag.
I really do wish they’d finished adapting that entire franchise, or had stopped without Disappearance which is a reasonably poor ending point compared to where the series wrapped.
And they used Disappearance to launch the Nagato spin-off only to stop it half way through unresolved too. But what can you expect from the those that thought animating Endless 8 was a good idea.
At least they didn’t leave us wondering about a knife fight on some dorm steps for a month or two.
Endless Eight is an interesting idea on paper, and the concept itself can be done very well (Higurashi is still the best example but Re:Zero is reasonably OK except when it’s psychologically painful because Subaru is an idiot little shit for much of the series), but in practice is just a monotonous slog because of how little difference there was between each ep.
As for what you can expect, it’s KyoAni, they really are better than that on most series but they also still only do a couple series of anime and maybe a couple movies for a franchise then move on to the next thing even if what they’re adapting needs more than that to feel done (Haruhi and FMP for examples).
While Endless 8 could certainly been done in 3-4 eps, Kyoani aren’t to blame for not continuing the series as they were only a studio for hire on Haruhi.
@NickG Wasn’t aware they were doing Haruhi as for hire… also wasn’t aware FMP was getting another series. I’ll have to go back and rewatch the first three before then.
Is an organ donation card something different than just having it designated on your license? I ask because I definitely checked the box to be a donor when I got my license, but it got left off, and yeah, that’s a pretty easy fix I think, but also I’m lazy.
probably depends a lot on where you live. I remember ~5 years ago hearing something about the sticker on my care card no longer being enough, but now we don’t have care cards… oh, but iirc I signed up online somehow and that should handle it until the next bureaucracy change… I can’t keep up with this shit. I added a note to my Android emergency info just in case.
Wait, does watching Angel Beats! automatically set you up with an organ donation card? Because I’m always up for some Aniplex, but I don’t trust doctors in this area. There have been…incidents in my past.
Organs are usually harvested from people who died of trauma. EMTs and ICU surgeons deal with sudden trauma, and are not qualified or permitted to harvest organs, so you can’t have your organs taken by the doctor who’d treat you.
“You have the right to remain.. DEAD.
Anything you say will be held against you.
You have the right… to a CORONER.
If you give up this right, we will appoint a medical examiner for you.”
Danny Costano (Billy Crystal), Running Scared
Sorry, pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. They would have taken her into custody pending preliminary determination of the facts, at the very least, and it looked like she went a good deal farther than could be justified under self-defense.
I do wonder what Dorothy said when they asked her what she saw …
She’s entering the place where she lives. She is attacked in front of a witness. She grabs the weapon *he* Is carrying and in fear of her life she slashes the hell out of him. Pretty sure that’s how self defense works. Here in Texas a prosecutor wouldn’t even bother with sending it to a grand jury.
The way I figure it, crying is a weakness and if other people see me do it they’ll take advantage, so it’s safest not to let others see any sign that I’ve been hurt, because people suck.
….. YES I KNOW THAT’S NOT HEALTHY! Stupid neuroses.
Imperial guards, take Reltzik away to the comfy room!
There we will show the opening montage from Up, the song from Toy Story 2, and the scene where Marlin swims away from Dory in Finding Nemo, and last but not least, the song “A boy and his frog” (a memorial to Jim Henson).
And if those don’t work, add the “Artax in the Swamp of Sadness” scene from Neverending Story and Stoick’s death from HtTYD2. If those don’t work, Reltzik is clearly an android.
You forgot the emotional sledgehammer that is the ending to “Jurassic Bark”. I’d link to a GIF or Youtube clip but I know I’d receive a severe lashing from those who do not wish to relive that experience.
Heck, I teared up a little just thinkingabout it right now!
However, I don’t mind rewatching that episode every once in a while — as Dorothy said, a good cry is healthy!
As far as I know, trying to avoid looking “weak” is a hold over from more primitive species, where it was “Must not look hurt, or *rival* will take my food, my mate, and possibly my life”. We humans are still obsessed with looking “strong”, because it is easier to demonstrate strength than intelligence.
And it’s not just us guys that suffer from this fallacy. I have met quite a few women who feel that they just need to “get over it” after going through a traumatizing event, thinking that if they ask for help, no one will respect them.
Unfortunately, there are still enough people in the world who actually do think crying is weak and who will disrespect those that they deem “weak”. Whether parents or peers, there exists a demonstrable pressure to conform to certain modes of behavior — particularly for those who are considered men, but also for women trying to break into male-dominated fields.
It’s amazing how toxic and self-sabotaging cultural mores can be.
I wish I had learned that crying is a healthy emotional reaction, but apparently society instead thinks it’s ok to teach men that we’re not supposed to cry, at least not around other people.
I was taught that it’s ok to cry, but, then experience taught me a lot of people still react badly to it. especially at work. :/ and I had no idea how “not crying” worked.
what really helped was learning to notice my feelings *before* they reached the point of tears and de-escalate or take a break to process them.
Also, crying and emotions in general are antithetical to intellect and reason. We should all strive to follow the Vulcan example, and make ourselves into beings of pure, objective logic and rationality.
(That, more than the usual flavor of toxic masc – which I never really bought into, thankfully – was what messed me up a lot of my childhood and teen years. I had emotions, strong ones, and no idea what to do with them other than to deny and repress.)
Wait, I thought that crying being a cleansing act was a myth. I always thought that if you cry your body rejects itself and begins to violently suffocate you with sniffling. Especially if you dare to do it alone.
Are you saying that it actually makes you feel better? Is that really a thing?
A perfectly good substitute and you don’t need to worry in the slightest. I haven’t really been able to force myself to let tears through but I did end up figuring out ways to work through emotions without them because of it. Walking off steam is great and will make your calves look amazing after a while.
I am glad to hear you have found an alternative way to work through emotions.
I guess that’s the important part: To find a way to work through them, instead of just trying to ignore them or bottling them up. As long as it’s a way that doesn’t actually make things worse for yourself or others around you, it’s the right way.
And walking off steam seems to meet that criteria just fine. Heck, I’ve done that myself every now and then.
As a very serious answer: I think it can be both. It can be healing and damaging. It probably very much depends on the reason why you cry. At least for me, that is.
In such a case that you mention, it very much just pulls me down further, and probably does damage. Especially if it happens lonely, and lasts…for an unspecific but usually long amount of time.
In some cases it can help to heal/feel relieved (e.g. stressed out enough that your thoughts and emotions tumble all over you – for whatever reason – and you can’t think straight and just break down, and after that your thoughts clear up and you can feel better). I could think of a few concrete examples for those effects of crying, but that’d probably get too specific and for now I don’t feel comfortable sharing that.
Crying is a lot like a mental reboot – it paralyses you for a bit, so it can be bad in stressful, Must-Act-Now situations, but it helps to clear up the emotional tangles that have been building up in you, which makes it very good in the long term.
Well, I agree, partly. As I’ve also experienced it as an enduring, lasting continuous breakdown, that could be considered as the brain being stuck in the reboot-function, with the whole system breaking down, but I believe that that’s not a reaction that’s…let’s say, regular.
My point is that crying can make things worse too
I hear you there… I was told as a child that if I cried around anyone else, they wouldn’t want to be around me. Friends, family, etc… it didn’t matter. When I came home crying from school after Boy Drama as a teen, I was lectured. When I was diagnosed with actual clinical depression, I was told off for looking unhappy at home.
For some reason, I have a really hard time with crying as an adult.
You know after all the comment nonsense of the past few days I’d actually completely forgotten about Dorothy and Amber. So, well played I suppose.
For some reason I got actually genuinely angry over Walky over this comment. Like it’s probably a joke but I got a real pang of personal outrage from it.
I don’t think he’s trying to joke it away. I think he’s just using humor to mask his discomfort / awkwardness. He’s not comfortable talking about feelings, or very good at directly showing he cares, so he’s falling back on what he knows.
But why? Is the very idea of tossing a perfectly good computer that deserving of condemnation? If it was even true instead of a joke, it would be his parents that would deserve your anger. Alternatively, if you are angry on Dorothy’s behalf, I suspect that she finds Walky being Walky comforting. So what am I missing?
What you’re missing is the fact that I don’t know why either. You’re thinking too logically here man, it was just a brief emotional response I thought was surprising and decided to share and was probably irrational anyway. I’m not looking for therapy in a comments section.
He already knows what he’s going to do and runs the polls for his amusement. My theory anyway. You may find bits of the Inner Willis in Joyce, Danny, and Walky, but never forget, Mike is somewhere in there too.
this is all a million times more healthy than anything I’ve done (save for my own rebooting the computer more often than I want to admit), I envy her. ‹.‹
Wow, appropriate comic. Reading this on a new phone, after crying (my old phone blew itself up, AT the phone store, SECONDS BEFORE actually transferring the data off of it…thus the crying TnT)
Walky you are charming in your own way, but not now.
Also:
Almighty Willis
Hallowed be thy name
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in comics
Please give us more daily strips
Today and tomorrow
And forgive our complaints
As we should forgive those
Who complain against us
And let us not succumb
To trolls
But deliver us from evil
For all is thine, now and forevermore
Amen
I’m always so divided on Walky. On the one hand here’s an example of him being a good boyfriend and he’s also a good friend to Billie. On the other this laptop line makes it really hard not to find him super irritating. So like overall he seems to have a very good mental core but on a surface level he just really rubs me the wrong way. So it’s good I get to have this outside perspective and see this inner goodness because I just would not be able to take him seriously irl.
Also I just really detest the Walkerton parents because you just KNOW they wouldn’t do anything like that for Sal (even pre-robbery). Hell, even with the hover text, I’m fairly sure they’d help him reboot the damn thing and I don’t give them that kind of credit with their daughter.
Boarding school was a punishment for juvenile offences (and her parents did not seem to have kept in much contact at all, as I’m fairly certain she didn’t come home for holidays). That was definitely not a way to enrich her education or help her – they either had to do it as part of her juvenile sentence or they did it because they straight up did not want her at home anymore and so just shunted her off to another state and ignored her from home, hoping someone else would ‘fix her’.
Yeah, they’re not objectively the worst parents, but I hate the Walkertons the most.
….see i wasn’t sure if it was a juvenile detention center, or a legit boarding school they sent her away to so they didn’t have to deal with her. either way, neither is ideal; but in the latter there’s at least a lot of money changing hands. and money doesn’t substitute for love, but at least, like, she’d get good meals.
It could be either, tbh. Sometimes courts also use boarding schools as an alternative to juvie (which is what Sal said the school was – a juvie alternative) to avoid overcrowding and try to help young offenders before they get involved. Sal’s parents may have had to pay for it regardless. although, really, spending a lot of money to avoid dealing with your child doesn’t exactly scream ‘glowing review’ of your parenting. And feeding your kid is like…parenting 101. It’s legally required. Providing (or paying someone else to provide) food when you can afford to is not something I’d hold up as proof of any sort of parental positive. Failing to do so would be proof of being a crappy parent, for sure, but doing so is not really much of a positive when it’s legally obligated.
Yup. My mom used to work at a boarding school like that. A lot of the girls were indeed there as an alternative to juvie. Most of them had committed some offense, and most also had significant trauma in their lives… and/or shit families.
Yeah, there are some boarding schools specifically with juvenile programs or outreach things. Those, along with things like foster or group homes (if the authorities can confirm abuse), therapy, volunteering hour requirements, community service, social or life skills classes, remedial programs, rehab (when appropriate), restraining orders or being banned from somewhere (usually the place the offence took place), military schools or boot camps, house arrest, behavioural issues programs, probation, support groups, and anger management are all alternatives I’ve heard of.
From what my mother said, there was a good therapy program at that school. The girls saw psychologists and sometimes psychiatrists, participated in therapeutic programs(including horse therapy), went to group therapy, and learned life skills, as well as attending school. They went on excursions and field trips, but mostly had to stay at the school in the middle of nowhere. When they were ready, they usually lived in group homes as a transitional step to re-entering the community.
Long time lurker here. I always enjoy reading the comments (when I catch up and the next button goes dark, that is.) The short version is I’m very possibly Joyce and Becky’s lovechild from the future…or more likely I just strongly relate to both of them (queer afab survivor of a fundie upbringing, who also has a Scottish last name haha), but I like the first theory better.
I honestly wasn’t expecting anything relating to Dorothy or Amber for a few more weeks, so it’s great to see this strip. I will wait excitedly for tomorrow–as always. (inb4 the hit series Deli Lesbians returns.)
You know, I of course know the term “afab” and have used it before, but when reading this my brain cut it off at “queer af” and I was like, “Yeah, I am also QUEER AS FUCK.”
Which, to be fair, is something I already think quite often.
Thank you. Though it’s been a while since We mentioned it, so here’s a reminder:
We are the emperor of the internet (much the same way that Joshua Norton I was emperor of USA). As emperor, we have no need for internet points. Instead, We have invented Imperial Internet Points that We hand out to Our worthy subjects when the occasion arises. Obviously these points are better, what with being Imperial and all.
Still, it is nice to see that Our reign is appreciated.
I meant to reply to Yumi… But @Halpful sure, I’m fabulous as well as queer as fuck. XD And @Emperor Norton II that is indeed a good point, Your Majesty.
Appreciated. (I’ll go further and disclose that it was a full on cult…not like a compound in the desert or anything, it was the kind that looks normal from the outside…But luckily my family is out now. Well. I’m “out” in multiple ways I guess. 😀 Being openly queer and all.)
This. Amber would get in far, far less trouble if he was dead enough to not be able to testify against her. If he’s alive, Amber is absolutely worse off.
My guess is Ryan is in the hospital, and Mary’s been visiting him every day. The combination of “I’m doing a good dead visiting someone seriously injured, I’m such a great person” and “I love seeing someone in horrible agony” is why she’s all smiles these days.
Well, yes. The 21st century solution would be to install this little chip that runs your personality as it should have been and overrides the defective copy in your brain.
I mean, you’re supposed to do a shitload of things for your health that cost an absolute fuckton of money that 90+% of people could never actually afford.
Aw, thank you! And yeah, no, definitely should have thought of that. TBH, my province doesn’t cover all dental services either (only surgeries done in hospital, and most basic ones are things like school clinics, services for the disabled or folks on social services). That said, dental insurance is pretty common, especially in full time employment, probably because it’s not covered by health care most of the time.
Ironically, not even dental appointments are guaranteed for many Americans… 27% of Americans over 65 have no remaining teeth, because getting a tooth pulled is far cheaper than getting the problem treated.
Who knows when therapy will be accessible to everyone…
At one job I had my manager had to warn me about how they do dental benefits because if you *ever* choose not to get dental insurance you’re banned from getting it later. You can’t, say, decide to use your spouse’s dental insurance one year and then sign up for their insurance the next year. It’s either all or nothing.
It was so bizarre and I’d never heard of an organization doing that before.
Like most things in Star Trek, when it’s going right it’s far better then what we have now and when it’s going wrong it’s far worse. Like the Holodeck: When it’s working it’s better than tv and video games combined, when it’s broken it will try to kill you or throw you into a world of cowboy Datas. It’s the same with seeing a mental health professional. Most of the time all is well and they help you work trough any problems and deal with any issues. But once in a while they get the Zygarian Telepire Syndrome and try to suck out your emotions through your kidneys.
Good on Walky for doing his best to support Dorothy – I feel like the fact that he is actually open (encouraging even!) her to open up about painful emotions.. is like, really showing growth from him. (I mean, though i guess hearing her emotions nhas always been easier than dealing with his own. Still though. I say it is growth)
It’s quite possible to know someone has been exposed to trauma and that they’re going to a therapist because of it, without actually pretending to be a doctor and diagnosing someone with PTSD.
For example, Dorothy apparently told him about the Scarface thing and then told him she was going to talk to her therapist about it.
Which is likely a good step in avoiding actual PTSD. Deal with the issues in the immediate aftermath, rather than waiting for them to develop into something more serious.
Carla did not react to it as a suicide attempt, she reacted to big depression red flags (and lying in bed all day without doing anything at all, not even a laptop or a book, with lights off, is a really big one) + explicitly stated suicidal ideation (“that sounds nice” at a comment about her possibly being found dead)
Watching violence without being able to do something *is* traumatizing.
Actually, modern trauma research shows that being helpless and unable to act in any situation that is perceived as endangering your life or that of someone you love is a mayor factor to trauma, being in a position to act is a good preventer.
I wonder how long it’ll be till we learn what actually happened. Best case is Amber’s in hospital and jerkface in jail hospital.
That absolutely would’ve been enough to cause PTSD, but what you wrote misses the bigger picture. Dorothy thought she and her friend were going to be stabbed brutally by a vengeful rapist and stalker AT BEST, and then her best friend upstairs would get the same treatment AT BEST. And THEN she helplessly watched as her friend stabbed the everloving shit out of him. Dorothy isn’t a trained martial artist like Amber or a cop or something. She’s an 18 year old who seems to have lived a relatively safe, normal life, and what she just experienced was utterly terrifying. Just, speaking from experience as someone who witnessed Some Shit and then got diagnosed with PTSD in college, my two cents.
I can see Dorothy bouncing back relatively quickly, but she’s gotta process this first.
[TW death] They say PTSD happens when you’re confronted to the concept of death forcefully without ways to deal with it, either by killing, being nearly killed or witnessing a murder or near-murder. [TW rape] Or rape, for rape is a symbolic form of murder.
So, yeah, Dorothy has a strong mind from a healthy childhood but you never know what will make you crack.
Okay what I’m about to say is in no way meant to disparage therapy. Dorothy is absolutely doing the right thing here and what’s best for her mental well being.
That being said of course she’s going to therapy 72 hours after all this. It’s completely in character that she’d be checking off a list of how one successfully recovers from a traumatic incident. Again she is absolutely doing the right thing but of course she’s doing the “right thing.”
Definitely in character for her to go through the motions of ‘getting better’ just so she can get back to fulfilling her ambitions. I think going through the motions will help here though.
I don’t think it’s mean. I think it’d be totally Dorothy to make a to-do list for Coping After Watching Your Friend Slice Up An Attacker. I feel like making lists and going through the sequence of things she thinks she Should do might even be a coping strategy for her. But at least therapy is a significantly good idea after something like that, whether it’s an item on a list or not.
I teach in college. When I got a phone call telling me my mother had suffered a severe stroke and was in intensive care, hundreds of miles away, the first thing I did was go to a psychology professor and ask her help in dealing with what I was feeling. It actually helped a lot. (My mother recovered better than expected, but it took years.)
I’ll let the multi paragraph analysts talk more about it, but I just gotta say, good on you Walky, being there for Dorothy like you are. You may not know exactly how to help her, but your presence there just in case you might be able to help is a great step
Do you believe Dorothy’s story here? I don’t! I think Walky got it just right: Trauma. A healthy psyche can’t walk away from watching a friend eviscerate someone.
Not necessarily. Dude attacked Amber and Dorothy with a deadly weapon, but is himself the one who got deaded in the fight, that’s pretty clear-cut self-defense, and Dorothy, and possibly security camera footage, can testify to this. Amber is probably better off, legally, if she did kill him, because that means that the only story about how it went down is Amber and Dorothy’s.
And note that the alternative to “Amber killed him” is “Amber cut him badly but left him alive”, which amounts to pretty much the same thing, in terms of how long before we’d see her out of an orange jumpsuit, if she didn’t get off on self-defense.
What he’s said is that nobody that anyone cares about is going to die, because given how slowly comic time moves, the mourning period would last for years of real time, and it would be awful. He gave Tony as an example of someone who could die, because no one cares about him except Big Boss, and no one cares about Big Boss.
I don’t think anyone we care about is going to be mourning Ryan.
This is the same reason I’m pretty sure Amber isn’t going to prison for knifing Ryan. Given the speed of comic time, even a short sentence would be, for all practical purposes, forever. And though it’s not quite as complete as killing her off, I don’t think he’s going to make it so all the other characters’ interactions with Amber forever are through a plexiglass window.
Ohhhhhh, I just remembered Sal got stuck in therapy for a long time after the robbery and apparently it was not with helpful folks. No wonder Walky is worried. He may not have paid much attention to Sal’s grievances, but he may have noticed he always had more to tune out after she got back from therapy.
Ooooh! Well spotted. And I somehow doubt whatever happened to Billie after she wrapped the car around a tree made him more supportive of therapy either.
Walky might not have the most constructive baseline when it comes to mental health.
Though it’s not clear to me that Walky saw much of her after that. There may have been some before she was sent off to boarding school, but most of it was probably there and I got the impression she didn’t come back home much.
No, he definitely didn’t see her much after she was taken to the school, but, depending on when the robbery took place, she was probably there for a while, at least until she got her sentence. She was 13 during the robbery and since she was gone for 5 years, she was probably sent there in 8th grade and so would have just turned 13 when the robbery happened, rather than being 13 turning 14.
Could’ve been, but that’s not really better for the Walkerton’s parenting levels. It’s actually worse.
TBF, we’ve not actually seen or heard her entire rap sheet before. Most people only mention the robbery because that’s all the know about (like Walky, Joyce, etc), Sal’s hardly inclined to share details, and Amber uses ‘the robbery’ to encompass everything that happened that night. Regardless, I can see it being her parents call as well, since Sal’s pretty damn resentful about it, and if it wasn’t her parents call (even if they definitely pressured her to pick option A over option B) she can at least sort of rationalize it.
Yes, exactly. It’s the Walkerton’s sending their Problem Child out of sight and mind for “her own good.”
Any time Sal’s crimes are mentioned it is always that she held up two convenience stores. That has to be deliberate; personally I think the Siegals cut a deal with the Walkertons that let Sal skip out on the hostage taking charge in return for Amber not facing criminal charges for stabbing Sal.
Yeah and they get to play the concerned parents to the neighbours who just want what’s best for their troubled daughter, because of course they give a flying fuck about her.
I’m not sure how well that would work. If they were going to make a deal, it would be with the cops, not with the Siegals, and I’m not sure if they could affect the charges against Amber, especially since stabbing somebody is pretty serious. It’s easier to bargain your way out of less serious things than major things. I guess they could have both arranged not to press charges, but sometimes it doesn’t really matter if the victim wants charges pressed, the police can do so anyways (especially for serious things like stabbing or hostage taking). As for it not being mentioned, I’m fairly sure it’s because most of the time it’s because it’s mentioned by people who don’t know. Amber and Ethan both have that as a fairly huge part of their recollection of the robbery (understandably) and Sal’s only ever mentioned it to people who she likes but doesn’t super trust like Joyce and Becky. We’ve never seen her talk about it with Marcie or seen flashbacks to the robbery from her point of view, much less heard what she was officially charged with.
Amber didn’t get any kind of sentence or punishment, though, not even court mandated therapy.
Sal went to a boarding school on her parents’ dime instead of going to juvie and she had a choice in the matter, and Amber didn’t get hit with anything at all. That to me says that some things were brushed under the rug, like say, Sal not getting charged for hostage taking if Amber doesn’t get charged for unprovoked assault.
It is true that Amber didn’t get in trouble, and it is possible that the reason for that is because of something being swept under the rug, but it’s also true that boarding schools are an alternative to juvie, and it’s not unheard of for the parents to have to pay for them. Which might actually indicate it was offered because of the Walkerton’s wealth. Plus Amber was also a traumatized young white girl and so the authorities may have been more inclined to cut her slack. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was a deal, but I don’t think it’s any kind of certainty.
I know we’re a racist as fuck society but I have a hard time believing that a little white girl could get away with humiliating the officers on sight and stabbing an unarmed, detained victim. It demands some form of response, and Amber didn’t get it. That to me is suspicious.
It’s also been made pretty clear by now that the boarding school was the Walkertons’ choice, and that Sal was released back into their custody after the robbery. Having their mutual worst crimes swept under the rug makes too much sense to me.
Given Amber’s father’s behaviour, I wouldn’t be surprised if he cut a deal to avoid her being charged since it would reflect poorly on him. That the deal also avoids Amber receiving any kind of help would not concern him.
Maybe I’m just more cynical regarding that then, because I can believe worse.
That’s fair. I can also see the school being their idea or something the Walkertons had their lawyer argue for even if it was part of the sentence, but you made a lot of good arguments for it not being.
Also, the stabbing could have thrown a wrench into the prosecution of Sal. Her lawyer could have had a conversation with the prosecutor:
Drop the charges, or agree to nothing worse than probation in exchange for a guilty plea (it depends on a lot we don’t know), and Sal’s parents will send her to a boarding school out of state. Otherwise, be prepared to explain in court why a 13-year-old girl being restrained by a police officer was stabbed with a knife that had also been held by a police officer.
Then, Amber’s lawyer has the following conversation:
Drop the charges, or explain to a jury why you are prosecuting the (white) girl who reacted to being the victim of a crime, when you let off the (black) girl who actually committed the crime.
(He might not explicitly play the race card, but he might if it would help his client, which is his job.)
Do we know that the therapy began right away? I honestly can’t remember if the comic said whether it was her parents, the courts, or the school that made her get therapy.
The courts probably mandated SOMETHING, but I can’t imagine her parents were upset about that. They probably also hired one of their own to double check or have one in their pay pocket. I also wouldn’t be surprised if her school made her go to counselling (and/or some kind of ‘spirit counselling/confession/bible study/moral instruction’ type thing). So, certainly one of them and possibly all three.
Quite likely some kind of plea deal to keep her out of juvie. Therapy and a more “structured environment”
Quite possibly better for Sal than leaving her at home, given how well that was going.
Counseling and therapy for the parents (and maybe the whole family) might have worked better, but that wasn’t gonna happen.
You can’t really blame either Sal or the therapist(s) for therapy not working in that situation. We still don’t really know why Sal started robbing stores. It seems likely, given her background that here faith in fair-minded adults was already non-existent when she started.
Any therapist reaching her after the incident would have had to be a genius.
Yes we do, it was for attention from her parents when she had run out of other ways to try to earn it. A good therapist wouldn’t have to be a genius to win her over, they’d have to be fair-minded and non-judgemental and patient which they likely weren’t as Sal now distrusts all therapists.
ugh… relatable on both sides. I’ve been on Walky’s side where I have felt shrinks were something to be wary of, but mostly because I had to deal with the incompetent kind. (Short of the long, I got bullied. Shrink decided *I* was the problem and suggested to my parents that of all things, I should get signed up for electroshock therapy. I wish I was joking. My parents basically told said shrink “How about no.”)
At the same time tho’, I’ve been at a point in my life where talking with a professional… might help me process some things I’ve been bottling of up for the past years. Question is just finding someone qualified.
Bad therapists can do a lot of damage. The one you mentioned seems to have his head stuck in the 19th century (not to mention his ass). Good things your parents didn’t go along with the suggestion.
I hope you will find someone who really wants to help and knows how.
I’m so proud of Dorothy for getting the help she needs! It’s refreshing to see a character with such a healthy attitude about mental health, not just in DoA but in general
Man, Walky/Dorothy is p much my second most favorite romantic relationship in this comic (Dina/Becky is the first obvs). They both care about each other genuinely, and they care about other people and understand it about each other, and they’ve been opening up to each other more and more. They might not always do the best thing in every situation, but they do the best thing they know to do, and they both notice when the other person does the best thing they know to do and appreciate it fully. They just… connect. Notice each other’s sweet gestures and best qualities without ignoring the worse ones and building up ideals in their heads (well, mostly).
I love Walky’s joking here. He’s engaging with exactly what Dorothy’s saying, both picking up her metaphor and relating it to the underlying issue – yes, Walky has trouble processing emotions, and this is as good as him admitting to that. Because he isn’t arguing with Dorothy, he isn’t getting defensive, he isn’t saying any shit about ‘being a man’. He just says “I’m used to dealing with this differently” in a way that all but admits explicitly that his way is worse.
He’s just so… open here, ready to be there for his girlfiend and willing to learn from her.
Walky and Dorothy are so, so good for each other. Even with Dorothy leaving for Yale and breaking off the relationship eventually, I can see them being best friends and each other’s sounding boards for pretty much their entire lives afterwards. They just… click in the best emotional intimacy way.
Well, at least they’re a great idea and a lot of them live up to that idea.
Of course, the ones who don’t are terrifying and terrible.
Overall, I recommend the concept of shrinks and getting you one if you struggle with your mindspace as I would recommend a dermatologist if you struggled with your skin.
I don’t recommend the concept of shrinks if the only thing this concept inspires you is a quick way of getting rid of someone else. “You dare say/be/act like that ? Well, you’re in need of a shrink”. Especially if the person you’re telling this is your kid. Shrinks can’t rectify the consequences of your horrible parenting while you’re still a horrible parent.
That was my tiny take on the concept of shrinks. Be well, everybody !
Oh my! I think Walky is at least four of our faculty members when their computers get slow. (I know he’s probably joking but) we have multiple academic professionals who throw a tantrum when we tell them to restart their computers.
I really want to see a strong male character in a movie cry, and someone says (like it’s an accusation) “Are you crying?” and the first one says “Yeah, what about it?”
Hell, it’s one of the things I love about Steven Universe. That Steven cries all the time, but it’s never once used to denigrate either his strength or his identity as a man.
It’s so much healthier than what we usually see in fiction of the stoic action hero who will only allow one single tear at a suitably manly moment.
It reminds me a little of that one saying that, while kinda immature, does have a bit of truth, “Real men wear pink”. Of course, that hardens back to when blue (associated with the Virgin Mary) was the “feminine” color and pink (associated with bright blood and Mars) was the “masculine” color. But the kernel of truth is this: if you are male, emotions and “non-masculine” things (in this case, the color pink) in no way compromise your ability to “be a man” and you can do things like cry or like things targeted at a feminine audience with complete security. For example, I use Dove soap and deodorant (traditionally marketed to women) because skin is skin and it makes my skin feel nice and protects against the smell of sweat better than any “manly” brands. Same with hair products for straight hair. And pore clearing face wash and the such.
But yeah, if I ever have kids there are two cartoon series that I will ensure they watch: Steven Universe and The Last Airbender (combing ATLA and LOK because they’re kinda the same series with a giant time skip and James Cameron won’t let Bryke use “Avatar” anymore). God bless Rebecca Sugar and everyone who works on Steven Universe.
If Steven didn’t cry, he’d burst from being an all-loving hero on the cusp of manhood* and handling a ton of adult fears. It’s just another way in which the show breaks basically all the rules of kids’ entertainment, and wonderfully.
(*Who can’t spend all day whackering, as you known.)
Precisely. And I’m going to confess, when I saw my younger brother watch the first episode I thought it was just going to be another silly Cartoon Network show. Then I actually started to really watch it myself and realized “Oh my god I love this show”. Which instantly made me afraid because it feels like Cartoon Network always shut down the shows I love after only one or two seasons for some reason *cough*Young Justice*cough*.
I’m older than most folks here, and my wife and I don’t have kids (and never had them).
So, we watch SU totally without “cover”. The odd bit is, my typical animation diet tends much more to Adult Swim and Archer, even though I like musical drama done right.
Steven Universe was practically designed to be overlooked and rejected at first glance. It accomplished this by promoting itself as he worst show ever and starting the first season with episodes which can only be appreciated in context at best, and are not that good even with the context from the next season at worst. After watching two episodes and the ads I thought it was terrible after watching some of the episodes from season 1 I didn’t blame past me.
Steven is so good. My standby reaction to #notallmen is, “You’re absolutely right, Steven Quartz Universe would never, because his dad Greg Universe taught him better than that”
Greg Universe is probably the ideal self-employed single dad to all of the gems’ mom and sister roles. Runs and operates a carwash, isn’t overly controlling but also isn’t too hands off, spends plenty of quality time with his son, and successfully taught his son how to be a true gentleman. All from a van.
But John Wick does cry in the first one. Or at least I think he does. When he gets the letter from his deceased wife with the dog and when he holds said dog’s body in the aftermath of Theon Greyjoy’s break in. Isn’t he crying in those instants? Or when he’s in the shower but we can’t see his face? I swear we’ve seen John Wick cry.
I’m just waiting for a superhero moving doing that. We have so many rehashes of the same theme with the same stoic name now that it’s nothing short of criminal that we don’t see more variation in them.
It would be the perfect vehicle for exploring masculinity, so I desperately hope we will see that soon.
[
“Catwoman: “Crying? You? You didn’t strike me the type.”
Batman: “I have cried for 20 years. Why would these tears come as a surprise? Now, let’s go kick some ass.”
]
Can’t really see Batman doing it. His whole thing is being far too screwed up for that. If Bruce had been able to cry properly, he probably never would have become Batman.
I could see Clark crying though and Batman being totally weirded out by it.
Panels 1-3: I like these shots of Walky being a good boyfriend, because he genuinely does try in his way to be a good boyfriend and sister and it’s moments like this that capture that.
He worries about folks he cares about being in pain and he doesn’t know how to best support, but gosh darnit does he give his best nonetheless. It’s the sweetness that is central to his character.
Panel 4: A good therapist can be a game changer and help keep you functional and I love that that keeps getting modeled in comic because I grew up terrified of therapists. I read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and assumed talking to one would mean I would be locked up forever and never allowed to leave. And it prevented me from getting real help for the longest time.
The years I’ve spent with a therapist have been critical, giving me a language for what was going on in my head, getting me meds I need to stabilize the shittier parts of my brain, and helping me power my way through intense shit. As Dorothy says, with a good therapist, it’s very healthy.
Panel 5: I love this panel.
Because yes, crying is good. It’s cathartic, it’s releasing, it’s sometimes the thing you need because some great upsetting event has occurred. There have been times when what I needed was to cry until I couldn’t anymore.
And that was hard to learn. I was raised as if I was a boy and so I had my tendency to cry literally beaten out of me and I learned instead to swallow pain and show nothing, because to do anything else “only encouraged them”.
So relearning how to cry was a long and slow process filled with a lot of fear and it really didn’t help that for a time I had a partner who could not abide me showing strong emotions and so showing evidence that I had been weeping was right out.
Even now, my natural tendency when something upsetting is happening is to go numb and seek out a solution rather than letting myself just process the hurt and cry. So it’s beautiful to see that line from Dorothy. How healthy and good it is, how reaffirming and universal it is. It’s what younger me would have needed.
Panel 6: There have been hints at various times about the extreme wealth the Walkertons possess (meeting with the Dean in the box seats, etc…), but it’s moments like this that really hammer it home. Walky grew up in an environment where he could do that with his laptops and his parents would shrug off the expense and it really puts into context a lot of his immaturity (he really hasn’t had to do many things for himself).
And it shows how wide the rift between him and Sal is. Sal spoke highly of saving up the money for her motorbike, whereas Walky could throw out a laptop every couple of months. And we can pretty much assume she was blamed for the cost of her court-ordered therapy programs and the Catholic school she was shipped off to.
They really were set against each other as kids which makes their hesitant efforts to repair the rift really meaningful. Their parents did everything they could to ensure mistrust between them, but they’re finding a new way to sibling, slowly but surely.
Your panel five reaction made me realize something: this is why I love Tolkien’s universe so much. Because one of Tolkien’s central themes is that showing emotion is healthy and doesn’t detract from an individual at all. Pretending emotions don’t exist or repressing them are actively harmful. Many of his best male characters are kind, compassionate, and perfectly ok with crying. Aragorn, Faramir (especially Faramir), Boromir, Beren, Sam (my God Samwise has been my hero since I was 7), Gandalf, Theoden, Legolas, Gimli, in the books Thorin. The list goes on. It’s Faramir gentleness that leads to Eowyn marrying him. It’s Theoden’s concern and love for his people that initially paralyzed and then motivated him to make the ultimate sacrifice. Boromir only warmed up to Aragorn after expressing his emotions and the few questionable things he does is because he will do anything to save his people, and his final actions realizing he was wrong and trying to mitigate that wrong in whatever way they can. Gimli feels no shame at mourning his fallen friends and kin in Moria, or of singing with joy in the glittering cave beneath Helm’s Deep or sheepishly asking for a single strand of Galadriel’s hair. Sam, well I’d argue that he’s the shining example of “strong queer man” (you cannot convince me he is not at least bi), and he is no less “manly” for the crying that he does. Beren (from the first age) only enters Doriath because his compassion allows him to pass through the barrier, mourns each set of friends he loses, and eventually has such love for the Luthien (and she for him) that they both get brought back to life. And Gandalf speaks perhaps the greatest line concerning this theme, “I will not say do not cry. For not all years are evil.” Gandalf is a being almost of pure compassion. Which is because as Olorin he served the Vala Nienna, the Vala of compassion and mercy who always weeps because she is saddened by the hardships all creation goes through in Middle-Earth throughout the ages, and whose tears heal injuries physical and spiritual. Likewise, every evil in the history of Arda comes from either a denial of emotions or a twisting of love. Sauron himself only became evil because he wanted to give peace and order to the otherwise chaotic lives of Arda, which eventually became a desire to dominate everything. Melkor himself, as Morgoth the first Dark Lord, at first was only filled with curiosity and a wish to create, which eventually became twisted from his jealousy of Eru being the only one who could create truly sapient life. Feanor, and all the bad things that came out of him and his sons in Beleriad, started out as a loving son who desperately missed his birth mother but would never confide his feelings of loss and pain to anyone. That sadness from his mother dying giving birth to him eventually led him to despise his stepmother and half-brothers, and his inability to deal with grief following his father’s death at Morgoth’s hands led to him and his sons swearing the Oath of Feanor and at least three inter-elven conflicts as a result. It always feels as if Tolkien just, understood emotion in a way that the rest of us as a society didn’t even begin to scratch until a decade ago, and most still don’t.
…
Sorry, I started rambling there. It’s just…so important to me.
Thank you. I once had a debate with a philosophy major and an English major about the role of gender in Tolkien’s works. My point was that characters such as Faramir, Aragorn, Gandalf, and Sam were Tolkien’s ideal of human masculinity while the few interactions we get from the orcs shows them as representatives of toxic masculinity. Also that women are just as important and powerful as men in the Lord of the Rings. When they brought up the fact that Eowyn had to hide who she was when she rode out with the rest of the Rohirrim was, “Well duh she has to disguise herself. She just abandoned her post and disobeyed her king after he made her his regent. Plus, Theoden knows if they lose he and Eomer will die in all likelihood. And even if they win he and Eomer will most likely still die. He doesn’t expect to survive. He is handing her the Kingdom of Rohan because she’s the next in line for the throne after Eomer given the Rohirric line of succession. If Eomer had died, Eowyn would have been Theoden’s heir. That’s why she has to hide who she is. Otherwise Theoden will think she’s abandoned their people. Oh, and her Eored’s captain clearly knows who she is, or at the very least knows she’s a woman and has no problem with the fact. And originally there were going to be more shieldmaidens in Rohan, but they had to be cut as characters because one actually messed up the succession line Tolkien had planned out and another was superfluous. Those were just named shieldmaiden characters. Tolkien implies that there are other shielmaidens in Rohan, it’s just that they’re rarer and serve as either homegaurd units or on a volunteer as opposed to a conscripted basis.”
…
It was one of the few times I had ever actually had alcohol (a cold dunkel beer and a half pint of mead to be exact) and we were at a nice little pub. As Tolkien fans we were practically obligated to discuss and debate Lord of the Rings.
I wonder if Tolkien modeled his characters after the Greco-Roman epics in that regard; I know the Iliad and Aeneid feature their male leads crying to mourn losses and misfortunes.
It’s based partially on his own frontline experiences in WW1 on the Somme. Man saw the worst of what humanity can do to each other and how people men deal with that experience and live. Of his close group of nine friends, only one of them survived the war with him. The others all died. So he also knew the pain of loss. And he started writing Beren and Luthien while in a field hospital recovering from trench foot.
Oops, Word of Willis is that Walky’s line at the end is a joke which makes a lot more sense. Queue that up to me being a dumbass for taking that one seriously.
You know, I found it funny that I saw a fair few “Walky, no!” posts, and thought it was about his attitude to therapists, and then suddenly, I saw “Walky, no, don’t throw away your laptop and make your parents buy you a new one, you spoiled brat!” and I was like “Huh? Is that what everyone else was complaining about too?”
The other day I learned not everyone knows crying dumps the body’s excess stress hormones. Even people who have done therapy for years. So there that is, for anyone wondering why it feels good.
Walky says “trauma”, which implies the stabbing. If she’s been seeing the therapist regularly, as she implies, hopefully, she’s also addressed the grade anxiety.
But mostly: “collage anxiety”. I’ve had that. They’re harder than they look. 🙂
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Walky is a friggin’ masochist, then, b/c nothin’ I hate more than setting up a new computer X_X
also I WOULD BE IN SO MANY TEARS HOW THE HECK CAN YOU OPERATE, DOTTY
Very well, apparently. Maybe her shrink has good drugs.
Frankly it feels more like repressing to me. She just is talking and explaining and rationalizing because if she would stop she would risk falling apart.
1. She said she’s talking to a therapist. Therapists are not usually the same as psychiatrists. This is almost certainly just talk therapy, not drug therapy.
2. We haven’t seen her conversations with her therapist. It’s rather insulting to conjecture that she’s rationalizing and that she’s talked to therapists “for a long time” without any of them noticing, without any evidence to back that up.
I’m not blaming the therapist or anything. I’m just saying that she feels a bit too… like she is trying to convince herself that everything is okay.
And seriously, what’s even insulting here? She is a friggin fictional character. What can be insulting here?
It’s insulting because a lot of people use talk therapy without medication, or limited medication, and it works for us. Crying during therapy isn’t repression, and medication is very helpful for some people but other people don’t want to use it and find talk therapy (CBT, DBT, or other types) works fine.
So, yeah, it’s incredibly insulting to say talk therapy is just “talking and explaining and rationalizing” (your exact words) when it’s actually a very healthy coping mechanism to use post-trauma–or to deal with milder kinds of mental illness like chronic depression or anxiety.
Don’t insult people’s coping mechanisms then get mad when people call you out on it.
I’m afraid you are barking up the wrong tree.
What I meant was that the way she talks to Walky and explains it all seems like repressing. Like she is Trying to pretend everything is okay.
Not talking about trauma all the time is not repressing your feelings. Everything might not be okay, but enough is that she’s able to function.
@Fart Captor
Welp good for her then.
Medication is actually usually a bad idea for this kind of thing: short term reaction to trauma. For more serious or long term issues it certainly can be good – depending on the specifics of course.
At this point, you’re trying to process the trauma without it becoming a serious long term problem.
Literally the only two things she says here is (1) She talks to a therapist, and (2) crying is healthy. How do you get repression/pretending things are “okay” from that? If anything, it sounds like the opposite of repression.
[shrugs] It was an impression.
I mean it’s been a few days. Some people might need longer than that to get back on their emotional feet, but I think most people would be roughly where Dorothy’s at.
This is what I figured too. She’s probably gotten a lot of tears out already!
Yeah, seriously. I bought a new laptop in late 2015 and was so against setting up a new computer that it was early 2017 before I actually opened the damn thing and did it.
Setting up a new computer? Nah. You turn it on and if it doesn’t immediately work the way you want it’s broken. Double birds and ask for a new one. The Walky method is very expensive.
Infinitely expensive, in fact.
It’s rather inconvenient.
“Meh, my parents have money, and they’re always willing to spend it on me, and that’s not a situation that will EVER change.
Right, Mom?
Right?”
Walky, your less-black-than-your-sister privilege is showing.
“beige privilege”?
I usually just clone the entire hard drive to a new drive, bork the Program Files and Windows folders, and reinstall on top. All my files and most of my settings are saved, and anything that needs to be tweaked, I can just pull the config data off the old drive.
I uh, used to brick operating systems regularly when I was much younger.
…So, is there like a certain technique to this, or is it pretty straightforward, or? Online tutorials confuse and anger me, so this knowledge would be very useful.
a linux rescue cd and the ddrescue man page? (…plus a dozen little details that have been second nature to me for a couple of decades, so I don’t have a clue what they might be)
Easeus disk cloning program, let it clone your old drive to your new drive, disconnect old drive (so you have a saved working backup just in case), reinstall Windows on top. It won’t delete your files, and the older program files and windows folders will be renamed so you can get whatever you need from them.
It’s not an easy thing to do. I spent years figuring that out with trial and error…
Generally it’s easier to just isolate the core OS on it’s own HDD (preferably) or partition then use junctions (on Win) or sym links (on modern *NIX OSs) to make the system user space folders (such as My Documents) and install folders point to the appropriate place on the non-OS drive. Then for Windows you can set up a script to backup the registry, and whatever folder(s) Win uses for DLLs these days, periodically on that HDD as well.
on unix-like systems, there’s no need to use symlinks for this; the filesystem is one big tree and you just mount different volumes at different points on the tree. so you can (for example) have one disk (or partition) mounted at /, and another mounted at /home.
True, but I’ve historically found that *NIZ neophites tend to have a harder time dealing with that than with sym links when coming from DOS, Win, etc and once they’ve learned to work in a *NIX environment doing mounts becomes trivial enough they don’t need to be told.
But have you tried reversing the polarity of the neutron flow using multi-modal reflection sorting?
It also helps to have a second computer nearby, so you can search the web for advice if you hit a snag.
My problem is I seem to have all my licenses invalidated due to it being a completely new computer.
“Call support to transfer your licenses” ehhhh, talking to people… or just paying the $15 again…
($15 being Clip Studio Pro/Manga Studio when it goes on sale every other week)
Is it true? Do laptops need a rebooting every once in a while?
All computers need reboothing once in a while. Over time their memory starts collecting trash and they need a nap once in a while.
This is a myth promulgated by the creators of shitty operating systems. My Linux machines routinely run for years without rebooting and with no loss of performance.
My laptop recently got rebooted after almost five years of continuous uptime, only because I didn’t notice that the outlet I’d plugged it into wasn’t actually supplying power until after it drained the battery.
So it HAS to be rebooted if it runs on Windows? So I guess it’s not a myth after all.
The myth is the “all computers” part.
I tend to upgrade the kernel more often that, but otherwise yeah.
We’ve got a couple linux boxes at work that get rebooted when the power goes out long enough that the UPS shuts them down.
i find myself switching computers a lot, so i ended up writing a python script that installs a bunch of configs and sets everything up just the way i like it. So when i’m moving into a new machine, all i gotta do is install arch, and download and run my script.
My brain computer has too many toolbars installed.
Have you tried turning it off and on again? Maybe that’d help >.>
all you have to do is pull the brain stem out of the cerebellum and then plug it back in
I got a little jealous of Agent May in Agents of Shield when they (spoilers?) “rebooted” her brain to fix brain problems. I’ve been wanting to do that to my brain for a decade. Rebooting, that is, not the circumstances on the show.
Mine could use a good defragging.
Mine could use an emptying of the recycle bin
Mine overheats if I don’t carefully ration my thinking. And…. that started as just a silly metaphor, but as the weather heats up, my ability to process input is noticeably decreasing. :/
I like text. Nice and low-bandwidth. And nobody notices my lag.
This is why you gotta use ext4 😉
Every time I reboot my brain I get a message from Yuki.N asking, “Press Enter to reset the universe. Ready?”. But it never seems to work!
(Just rewatched and wondering if anybody remembers this? *grin* )
I really do wish they’d finished adapting that entire franchise, or had stopped without Disappearance which is a reasonably poor ending point compared to where the series wrapped.
And they used Disappearance to launch the Nagato spin-off only to stop it half way through unresolved too. But what can you expect from the those that thought animating Endless 8 was a good idea.
At least they didn’t leave us wondering about a knife fight on some dorm steps for a month or two.
Endless Eight is an interesting idea on paper, and the concept itself can be done very well (Higurashi is still the best example but Re:Zero is reasonably OK except when it’s psychologically painful because Subaru is an idiot little shit for much of the series), but in practice is just a monotonous slog because of how little difference there was between each ep.
As for what you can expect, it’s KyoAni, they really are better than that on most series but they also still only do a couple series of anime and maybe a couple movies for a franchise then move on to the next thing even if what they’re adapting needs more than that to feel done (Haruhi and FMP for examples).
While Endless 8 could certainly been done in 3-4 eps, Kyoani aren’t to blame for not continuing the series as they were only a studio for hire on Haruhi.
And indeed on Full Metal Panic, which is of course getting a further series next year.
@NickG Wasn’t aware they were doing Haruhi as for hire… also wasn’t aware FMP was getting another series. I’ll have to go back and rewatch the first three before then.
Idk, I wish I could reset my brain to factory settings but its factory settings were bullshit to begin with.
I think Bonzai Buddy is still hiding somewhere in here.
Really? I’m stuck with clippy
mine has several nasty viruses that muck up the entire system and make it try to self-destruct
my brain pops up a thing in the corner of my consciousness when it thinks i’m writing a letter or something
Does…does it look like a paperclip?
Yes, I laughed.
Worse. BonziBUDDY.
“It looks like you’re Doing A Thing! Would you like me to list all the ways it can go horribly, painfully wrong? :D”
it me
Y’know, that makes sense, I always feel cleansed and more focused after I’ve cried something out.
Watch Angle Beats. (I got a organ donation card because of it)
Is an organ donation card something different than just having it designated on your license? I ask because I definitely checked the box to be a donor when I got my license, but it got left off, and yeah, that’s a pretty easy fix I think, but also I’m lazy.
probably depends a lot on where you live. I remember ~5 years ago hearing something about the sticker on my care card no longer being enough, but now we don’t have care cards… oh, but iirc I signed up online somehow and that should handle it until the next bureaucracy change… I can’t keep up with this shit. I added a note to my Android emergency info just in case.
Thanks, I just signed up online, so I should be good now.
Wait, does watching Angel Beats! automatically set you up with an organ donation card? Because I’m always up for some Aniplex, but I don’t trust doctors in this area. There have been…incidents in my past.
yay, now I have a new show I can watch *and* pay for 🙂 (crunchyroll FTW)
Where do you live that allows EMT’s to do transplants?
Wait, what?
Organs are usually harvested from people who died of trauma. EMTs and ICU surgeons deal with sudden trauma, and are not qualified or permitted to harvest organs, so you can’t have your organs taken by the doctor who’d treat you.
No live transplants, but substandard medical care for donors is A Thing, around here.
Wait, like, letting people die in order to get their organs, instead of saving their lives?
Ya damn spoiled brat
double biirds all thew way across fthe syyy
What does it mean? ;p
How can such an emotionally healthy character exist.
Well you see, when a Linda and a Charles love each other very much…
*Deborah
*Jeremiah
Well if you wanna be BORING and not deliberately misinterpret things…
she must be related to Commander Badass
New headcanon that any Shepard I play as is a descendant of Dorothy’s.
By putting up a thoroughly-practiced front of perfection at all times, independent of whether or not they are actually doing okay…
She exists to throw all the messed-up characters into sharp relief, and to remind us what _normal_ people are like.
…
They ARE like that, right?
See? Walky knows exactly how to process emotions, as demonstrated by the fact that he never cries or anything. Ergo, he is a man.
FLAGRANT ERRORSystem report:
Everything is fine. Nothing is ruined.
Therapy is a very good thing.
I hope Amber is also getting some therapy as well.
Amazi-Girl is her therapy.
Or was. We do not currently know how that’s going.
I wonder how Ryan’s therapy is going.
Southward, mostly.
Well, he was inspected by a respected medical professional, seen to by a minister, and is currently resting in his new place.
Desirable as that outcome would be in most ways, it would go considerably worse for Amber. I do hope Dorothy spoke up and he’s under arrest, though.
“You have the right to remain.. DEAD.
Anything you say will be held against you.
You have the right… to a CORONER.
If you give up this right, we will appoint a medical examiner for you.”
Danny Costano (Billy Crystal), Running Scared
No.
alll aboard the NOPEtopus!
Wha-? Nopetopus? Why’s it in the shape of an octopus?
To match the Yeaphalopod, duh.
Also hugs. I assume that’s what Ethan’s been up to
Amber really needs a friend like Ethan now that she’s probably in hiding after the incident with Ryan.
Yeah, for an introvert like her, all the girls on campus wanting to high-five her must be really stressful :/
Clear case of self defence. No reason to hide.
Sorry, pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. They would have taken her into custody pending preliminary determination of the facts, at the very least, and it looked like she went a good deal farther than could be justified under self-defense.
I do wonder what Dorothy said when they asked her what she saw …
She’s entering the place where she lives. She is attacked in front of a witness. She grabs the weapon *he* Is carrying and in fear of her life she slashes the hell out of him. Pretty sure that’s how self defense works. Here in Texas a prosecutor wouldn’t even bother with sending it to a grand jury.
She’s female, he’s the son of a preacher, and the only witness is an atheist. Amber would absolutely be convicted in Texas.
Is it bad that I kinda want to see what he’d do now if his laptop became laggy and his parents finally refused to get him a new one?
Use it as an excuse for not doing stuff. Also Walky was joking. Probably.
I’m not sure if he is joking or not. He’s more immature than your average 18 year old so….
YES, DOROTHY, YES! EXPLAIN HOW CRYING IS A PERFECTLY HEALTHY EMOTIONAL REACTION THAT CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU!!!
Sorry, I’m just… Look, I know now that crying is good for me, and there’s still always a part of me saying “sheesh, don’t cry” whenever I do.
The way I figure it, crying is a weakness and if other people see me do it they’ll take advantage, so it’s safest not to let others see any sign that I’ve been hurt, because people suck.
….. YES I KNOW THAT’S NOT HEALTHY! Stupid neuroses.
and that’s why it’s important to have safe people who can be trusted to not freak out when you need to cry. (or pets. or stuffed animals.)
Imperial guards, take Reltzik away to the comfy room!
There we will show the opening montage from Up, the song from Toy Story 2, and the scene where Marlin swims away from Dory in Finding Nemo, and last but not least, the song “A boy and his frog” (a memorial to Jim Henson).
I’M HAVING GOVERNMENT-MANDATED HEALTHCARE BEING IMPOSED UPON ME!
HELP HELP I’M BEING OPPRESSED!
It’s the benevolent violence inherit in the system.
For more information on how sadness is healthy, We recommend the documentary movie “Inside Out”.
bring ALL the kleenex.
also, DAE think of inside out whenever they hear “what’s the use of feeling blue”?
And if those don’t work, add the “Artax in the Swamp of Sadness” scene from Neverending Story and Stoick’s death from HtTYD2. If those don’t work, Reltzik is clearly an android.
Or it works and he’s an android. It’s all good either way.
…In the book, Artax talks.
Does happy crying count? Because there’s this game with an adorable little necromancer who finally finds a friend in a wheelchair-bound sickly girl…
yes. 🙂
Phantom Brave is the perfect game for it, then. Fun, challenging, and full of great characters.
I still can’t listen to that last one without tearing up. (Damnit, I want the timeline where we get another 20 years of Jim Henson awesomeness….)
You forgot the emotional sledgehammer that is the ending to “Jurassic Bark”. I’d link to a GIF or Youtube clip but I know I’d receive a severe lashing from those who do not wish to relive that experience.
Heck, I teared up a little just thinkingabout it right now!
However, I don’t mind rewatching that episode every once in a while — as Dorothy said, a good cry is healthy!
Yeah. This is very much my mental process. Showing weakness is bad. People will inevitably exploit it and use it against you.
This is neither true, nor a healthy thought process, but it happens anyway.
As far as I know, trying to avoid looking “weak” is a hold over from more primitive species, where it was “Must not look hurt, or *rival* will take my food, my mate, and possibly my life”. We humans are still obsessed with looking “strong”, because it is easier to demonstrate strength than intelligence.
And it’s not just us guys that suffer from this fallacy. I have met quite a few women who feel that they just need to “get over it” after going through a traumatizing event, thinking that if they ask for help, no one will respect them.
Unfortunately, there are still enough people in the world who actually do think crying is weak and who will disrespect those that they deem “weak”. Whether parents or peers, there exists a demonstrable pressure to conform to certain modes of behavior — particularly for those who are considered men, but also for women trying to break into male-dominated fields.
It’s amazing how toxic and self-sabotaging cultural mores can be.
Yep. That was my system until relatively recently.
I still hate to cry but that’s because it clogs up my sinuses and I can’t breathe for two days.
SAME. IT ALSO MAKES ME SUPER TIRED WHEN I’M NOT NECESSARILY READY TO SLEEP FOR FIVE YEARS.
Like screw the emotional side, I just hate the physical symptoms at this point. :C
I wish I had learned that crying is a healthy emotional reaction, but apparently society instead thinks it’s ok to teach men that we’re not supposed to cry, at least not around other people.
I was taught that it’s ok to cry, but, then experience taught me a lot of people still react badly to it. especially at work. :/ and I had no idea how “not crying” worked.
what really helped was learning to notice my feelings *before* they reached the point of tears and de-escalate or take a break to process them.
Also, crying and emotions in general are antithetical to intellect and reason. We should all strive to follow the Vulcan example, and make ourselves into beings of pure, objective logic and rationality.
(That, more than the usual flavor of toxic masc – which I never really bought into, thankfully – was what messed me up a lot of my childhood and teen years. I had emotions, strong ones, and no idea what to do with them other than to deny and repress.)
yeah, I suspect there’s still some of that in my brain…
the only discussion of emotion I remember from childhood is being judged on whether I “should” be feeling what I’m feeling.
My roommate is like that and he’s been a true nightmare to live with. That, and the verbal and emotional abuse. Lots of fun, let me tell you.
Wait, I thought that crying being a cleansing act was a myth. I always thought that if you cry your body rejects itself and begins to violently suffocate you with sniffling. Especially if you dare to do it alone.
Are you saying that it actually makes you feel better? Is that really a thing?
I…
I don’t know what to say. I mean, I see you’re making a bit of a joke about it, but having crying do that to you, I…
Yeah, I don’t know what to say. Will you accept some internet hugs as a weak substitute?
A perfectly good substitute and you don’t need to worry in the slightest. I haven’t really been able to force myself to let tears through but I did end up figuring out ways to work through emotions without them because of it. Walking off steam is great and will make your calves look amazing after a while.
Hugs are definitely accepted.
I am glad to hear you have found an alternative way to work through emotions.
I guess that’s the important part: To find a way to work through them, instead of just trying to ignore them or bottling them up. As long as it’s a way that doesn’t actually make things worse for yourself or others around you, it’s the right way.
And walking off steam seems to meet that criteria just fine. Heck, I’ve done that myself every now and then.
As a very serious answer: I think it can be both. It can be healing and damaging. It probably very much depends on the reason why you cry. At least for me, that is.
In such a case that you mention, it very much just pulls me down further, and probably does damage. Especially if it happens lonely, and lasts…for an unspecific but usually long amount of time.
In some cases it can help to heal/feel relieved (e.g. stressed out enough that your thoughts and emotions tumble all over you – for whatever reason – and you can’t think straight and just break down, and after that your thoughts clear up and you can feel better). I could think of a few concrete examples for those effects of crying, but that’d probably get too specific and for now I don’t feel comfortable sharing that.
And also: *offers hugs, if wanted*
Crying is a lot like a mental reboot – it paralyses you for a bit, so it can be bad in stressful, Must-Act-Now situations, but it helps to clear up the emotional tangles that have been building up in you, which makes it very good in the long term.
Well, I agree, partly. As I’ve also experienced it as an enduring, lasting continuous breakdown, that could be considered as the brain being stuck in the reboot-function, with the whole system breaking down, but I believe that that’s not a reaction that’s…let’s say, regular.
My point is that crying can make things worse too
I hear you there… I was told as a child that if I cried around anyone else, they wouldn’t want to be around me. Friends, family, etc… it didn’t matter. When I came home crying from school after Boy Drama as a teen, I was lectured. When I was diagnosed with actual clinical depression, I was told off for looking unhappy at home.
For some reason, I have a really hard time with crying as an adult.
I had a similar home life. Solidarity.
Seriously, can someone defenestrate that wanker already? He just gets more and more grating.
It’s called CCleaner, you fuckstick.
You seem nice.
Auslogics makes a defenestrator to go with their defragmenter?
Given his stuff, he probably surfs without a goddamn adblock – his comp must be like a damn cesspool by now.
I’d call it “sudo rm -rf /”.
(Don’t try this at home — or anywhere else.)
He’s immature. 18-year-olds have a habit of being. I also sense that he’s being somewhat facetious, given the alt text.
Joyce will volunteer.
“He just gets more and more grating.”
Just like your one-note comments. You have something in common with him!
You know after all the comment nonsense of the past few days I’d actually completely forgotten about Dorothy and Amber. So, well played I suppose.
For some reason I got actually genuinely angry over Walky over this comment. Like it’s probably a joke but I got a real pang of personal outrage from it.
I feel the same way, his lack of common sense is cute/fun most of the time, but not now. (You can’t joke away what happened)
I don’t think he’s trying to joke it away. I think he’s just using humor to mask his discomfort / awkwardness. He’s not comfortable talking about feelings, or very good at directly showing he cares, so he’s falling back on what he knows.
I know, I know, I’m not saying I don’t get why he’s doing it, I’m just admitting that I got angry over it anyway.
But why? Is the very idea of tossing a perfectly good computer that deserving of condemnation? If it was even true instead of a joke, it would be his parents that would deserve your anger. Alternatively, if you are angry on Dorothy’s behalf, I suspect that she finds Walky being Walky comforting. So what am I missing?
What you’re missing is the fact that I don’t know why either. You’re thinking too logically here man, it was just a brief emotional response I thought was surprising and decided to share and was probably irrational anyway. I’m not looking for therapy in a comments section.
Maybe your brain is like mine and puts computers in the same category as pets. 🙂
Okay. No problem. Your reaction is your reaction. But it seems a number of other people had similar reactions and I don’t understand why.
*eyes poll*
…. why can we only vote for one?
Give this fellow a damn Nobel Prize, I was just thinking that.
Sorry. There’s only one damned Nobel Prize and we’re saving it for the inventor of the doomsday weapon.
Aren’t there 6 nobel prizes though
5. Economics doesn’t count.
Damn you Willis will probably take the least voted and run with it.
He already knows what he’s going to do and runs the polls for his amusement. My theory anyway. You may find bits of the Inner Willis in Joyce, Danny, and Walky, but never forget, Mike is somewhere in there too.
this is all a million times more healthy than anything I’ve done (save for my own rebooting the computer more often than I want to admit), I envy her. ‹.‹
Wow, appropriate comic. Reading this on a new phone, after crying (my old phone blew itself up, AT the phone store, SECONDS BEFORE actually transferring the data off of it…thus the crying TnT)
augh, I’m sorry.
Walky you are charming in your own way, but not now.
Also:
Almighty Willis
Hallowed be thy name
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in comics
Please give us more daily strips
Today and tomorrow
And forgive our complaints
As we should forgive those
Who complain against us
And let us not succumb
To trolls
But deliver us from evil
For all is thine, now and forevermore
Amen
That is beautiful. 11/10. Also you have the perfect avatar for that.
You have the perfect avatar as well lol
Oh shit I just rated something as Joe, didn’t I
AT LEAST IT WAS A POEM AND NOT A WOMAN (for added irony I’m gay)
Joes womanizing might be a cover for him being gay…. so yeah 😛
Nah, Joe doesn’t insult gay people enough to be a closeted gay guy.
Mary, on the other hand….
Okay, so Dorothy’s dealing with trauma in a fairly healthy manner, that’s greaWHERE’S AMBER.
<batman voice> WHERE IS SHE??
“PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE my young padawan” – Yoda
I refuse to believe we’ll find out any time soon. Hope is a lie.
And if you can convince people that lies are hope, you can seize power.
But I think Willis is going for a new cliffhanger record.
*plays Smokey Robinson’s “Tears of A Clown” on the hacked Muzak*
I’m always so divided on Walky. On the one hand here’s an example of him being a good boyfriend and he’s also a good friend to Billie. On the other this laptop line makes it really hard not to find him super irritating. So like overall he seems to have a very good mental core but on a surface level he just really rubs me the wrong way. So it’s good I get to have this outside perspective and see this inner goodness because I just would not be able to take him seriously irl.
You know it’s bad when you can’t tell if Walky is joking or not. It’d require some level of self-awareness that I’m not convinced he has yet.
Ferk, that wasn’t meant to be a reply.
And it gets worse when you think the parents wouldn’t have done the same towards Sal ( if what Walky says it’s true).
That too.
Oh Walky, you spoiled brat.
Also I just really detest the Walkerton parents because you just KNOW they wouldn’t do anything like that for Sal (even pre-robbery). Hell, even with the hover text, I’m fairly sure they’d help him reboot the damn thing and I don’t give them that kind of credit with their daughter.
yeah my brain is just kind of flatlining at that kind of audacity
like?? thinking you can get away with that crap??? mindblowing
and then sal getting scraps. i mean, a boarding school, but also scraps
Boarding school was a punishment for juvenile offences (and her parents did not seem to have kept in much contact at all, as I’m fairly certain she didn’t come home for holidays). That was definitely not a way to enrich her education or help her – they either had to do it as part of her juvenile sentence or they did it because they straight up did not want her at home anymore and so just shunted her off to another state and ignored her from home, hoping someone else would ‘fix her’.
Yeah, they’re not objectively the worst parents, but I hate the Walkertons the most.
….see i wasn’t sure if it was a juvenile detention center, or a legit boarding school they sent her away to so they didn’t have to deal with her. either way, neither is ideal; but in the latter there’s at least a lot of money changing hands. and money doesn’t substitute for love, but at least, like, she’d get good meals.
they’re pretty terrible, agreed
It could be either, tbh. Sometimes courts also use boarding schools as an alternative to juvie (which is what Sal said the school was – a juvie alternative) to avoid overcrowding and try to help young offenders before they get involved. Sal’s parents may have had to pay for it regardless. although, really, spending a lot of money to avoid dealing with your child doesn’t exactly scream ‘glowing review’ of your parenting. And feeding your kid is like…parenting 101. It’s legally required. Providing (or paying someone else to provide) food when you can afford to is not something I’d hold up as proof of any sort of parental positive. Failing to do so would be proof of being a crappy parent, for sure, but doing so is not really much of a positive when it’s legally obligated.
Yup. My mom used to work at a boarding school like that. A lot of the girls were indeed there as an alternative to juvie. Most of them had committed some offense, and most also had significant trauma in their lives… and/or shit families.
Yeah, there are some boarding schools specifically with juvenile programs or outreach things. Those, along with things like foster or group homes (if the authorities can confirm abuse), therapy, volunteering hour requirements, community service, social or life skills classes, remedial programs, rehab (when appropriate), restraining orders or being banned from somewhere (usually the place the offence took place), military schools or boot camps, house arrest, behavioural issues programs, probation, support groups, and anger management are all alternatives I’ve heard of.
From what my mother said, there was a good therapy program at that school. The girls saw psychologists and sometimes psychiatrists, participated in therapeutic programs(including horse therapy), went to group therapy, and learned life skills, as well as attending school. They went on excursions and field trips, but mostly had to stay at the school in the middle of nowhere. When they were ready, they usually lived in group homes as a transitional step to re-entering the community.
woot, finally know why i cry during therapy
I can’t unsee Dorothy as blonde Lotte now. Darn Little Witch Academia.
But man did Trigger hit the entire series out of the park 😀
Oh yeah, I’m so glad about it. The Disney parodies were great.
My brain has been in a constant “this needs rebooting” state for the past 18 years.
I refuse. I don’t want to deal.
Mine keeps telling me that I need to install urgent insecurity updates, but I’m pretty sure it’s trying to to install spyware. *paranoid grin*
Nope. That story never happened. Everybody has moved on already.
It is the Dork and Mindy show now.
That sounds A LOT like the lesbian sitcom Becky wished she had been allowed to watch growing up.
“Iiiiiiiiits MINDY!”
Walky, you should know better than to casually hold one of those around Dorothy, after what she’s been through.
You mean that knife that looks suspiciously like a phone?
They’re everywhere. Watching. Waiting.
A phife perhaps?
I got drummed out for that.
I had scrolled away before I got this comment. Well played.
Yeah for healthy expressions of emotions!!
Long time lurker here. I always enjoy reading the comments (when I catch up and the next button goes dark, that is.) The short version is I’m very possibly Joyce and Becky’s lovechild from the future…or more likely I just strongly relate to both of them (queer afab survivor of a fundie upbringing, who also has a Scottish last name haha), but I like the first theory better.
I honestly wasn’t expecting anything relating to Dorothy or Amber for a few more weeks, so it’s great to see this strip. I will wait excitedly for tomorrow–as always. (inb4 the hit series Deli Lesbians returns.)
You know, I of course know the term “afab” and have used it before, but when reading this my brain cut it off at “queer af” and I was like, “Yeah, I am also QUEER AS FUCK.”
Which, to be fair, is something I already think quite often.
Is there any other way to be queer? 🙂
I like that joke. Have an Internet Point.
(I’ll show myself the door)
Thank you. Though it’s been a while since We mentioned it, so here’s a reminder:
We are the emperor of the internet (much the same way that Joshua Norton I was emperor of USA). As emperor, we have no need for internet points. Instead, We have invented Imperial Internet Points that We hand out to Our worthy subjects when the occasion arises. Obviously these points are better, what with being Imperial and all.
Still, it is nice to see that Our reign is appreciated.
my brain keeps trying to insert “fabulous” instead 🙂
Well I’m that too! XD
I meant to reply to Yumi… But @Halpful sure, I’m fabulous as well as queer as fuck. XD And @Emperor Norton II that is indeed a good point, Your Majesty.
Ouch, “queer” and “fundie upbringing” never go well together. My sympathies.
Appreciated. (I’ll go further and disclose that it was a full on cult…not like a compound in the desert or anything, it was the kind that looks normal from the outside…But luckily my family is out now. Well. I’m “out” in multiple ways I guess. 😀 Being openly queer and all.)
Welcome to the comments section! Have a cookie 🙂
Becky: A LESBIAN cookie.
Me: …there is sprinkles on it?
Thank you Becky and Bagge! Are there…gay trans dude cookies? Or bi girl cookies? I accept either. ^-^ Lesbian cookies will do, however!
Your wish is my command! *keyboards up some gay trans dude and bi girl cookies*
This is the best day ever! Thank you! *noms*
No problem! I do any sort of LGBTQIAPN+ cookies. Also cake!
I will take your card and send future internet business your way!
😀
Did Amber fucking kill that dude?
Yes … or no. Same for Ryan killing Amber. Same for both being in jail … or hospital. And Willis will answer this all tomorrow … or never.
Hope that clears that up for you … or not.
I think we’ll wish she had, for his sake.
This. Amber would get in far, far less trouble if he was dead enough to not be able to testify against her. If he’s alive, Amber is absolutely worse off.
My guess is Ryan is in the hospital, and Mary’s been visiting him every day. The combination of “I’m doing a good dead visiting someone seriously injured, I’m such a great person” and “I love seeing someone in horrible agony” is why she’s all smiles these days.
My theory is that Amber cut him so that his scars criss-cross.
New Amazi-Girl villain: Crossface
Walky: First world solution to a first world problem.
Dorothy: 19th Century solution to 21st Century stress.
It’s good to have options.
19th century solution…?
Well, yes. The 21st century solution would be to install this little chip that runs your personality as it should have been and overrides the defective copy in your brain.
I mean, what could go wrong?
“I talk to a therapist all the time…”
Does this mean she was seeing someone before college? Was there a particular reason she started seeing one or is it just like good mental hygiene?
man i wish that seeing a therapist was widely considered good mental hygiene
Ah, I meant to ask if *she* considered it good mental hygiene. I’m guessing her parents encouraged it.
But yes, it would be excellent if most people treated therapy like the normal thing that it is.
just!! schedule appointments to the therapist like you would to the dentist!!!
i want to live in this world, pls to take me there
(it’s star trek. just say it’s star trek.)
Man, I want to live in star trek for multiple reasons, and many of them are economic/social-related.
So…once a year? Reluctantly?
…..I thought you were supposed to see a dentist twice a year? It’s general practitioner’s check ups that are supposed to be once a year
Zoe said “like you would,” not “like you should.”
Fair enough!
This.
I go to professionals when stuff breaks.
No, professional teeth cleaning twice a year, seeing an actual dentist once, at least in Germany.
A, well, therapy has more in common with teeth cleaning anyway, now that I think about it 😂
….Makes sense!
I mean, you’re supposed to do a shitload of things for your health that cost an absolute fuckton of money that 90+% of people could never actually afford.
Right. Non-universal health care in the US. Crap! Sorry about that.
Yeah, that too– I’d go to the dentist more if I didn’t need to save that money for therapy.
But no worries, BBCC, and happy belated Canada Day.
Aw, thank you! And yeah, no, definitely should have thought of that. TBH, my province doesn’t cover all dental services either (only surgeries done in hospital, and most basic ones are things like school clinics, services for the disabled or folks on social services). That said, dental insurance is pretty common, especially in full time employment, probably because it’s not covered by health care most of the time.
Ironically, not even dental appointments are guaranteed for many Americans… 27% of Americans over 65 have no remaining teeth, because getting a tooth pulled is far cheaper than getting the problem treated.
Who knows when therapy will be accessible to everyone…
At one job I had my manager had to warn me about how they do dental benefits because if you *ever* choose not to get dental insurance you’re banned from getting it later. You can’t, say, decide to use your spouse’s dental insurance one year and then sign up for their insurance the next year. It’s either all or nothing.
It was so bizarre and I’d never heard of an organization doing that before.
I wouldn’t want to get mental treatment in the Star Trek universe. Dagger of the Mind and Whom Gods Destroy make it pretty clear it’s not great. >_>
Like most things in Star Trek, when it’s going right it’s far better then what we have now and when it’s going wrong it’s far worse. Like the Holodeck: When it’s working it’s better than tv and video games combined, when it’s broken it will try to kill you or throw you into a world of cowboy Datas. It’s the same with seeing a mental health professional. Most of the time all is well and they help you work trough any problems and deal with any issues. But once in a while they get the Zygarian Telepire Syndrome and try to suck out your emotions through your kidneys.
It seems like a very Dorothy thing to do.
Good on Walky for doing his best to support Dorothy – I feel like the fact that he is actually open (encouraging even!) her to open up about painful emotions.. is like, really showing growth from him. (I mean, though i guess hearing her emotions nhas always been easier than dealing with his own. Still though. I say it is growth)
dorothy is so great
???? Amber kicks the crap out of Rapey McScarface, and Dorothy ends up with PTSD from watching the beat-down?
Generally speaking, people tend to get traumatized by dudes coming after them with a knife.
Or with a phone.
Also, Amber didn’t stop with kicking.
A knone
Why do you assume she has PTSD? She’s just seeing a therapist, a thing she’s apparently been doing for some time.
The specific reference to trauma in panel 4?
PTSD is a diagnosis and Walky isn’t a doctor. He’s an idiot.
He didn’t imply either of those things.
It’s quite possible to know someone has been exposed to trauma and that they’re going to a therapist because of it, without actually pretending to be a doctor and diagnosing someone with PTSD.
For example, Dorothy apparently told him about the Scarface thing and then told him she was going to talk to her therapist about it.
Which is likely a good step in avoiding actual PTSD. Deal with the issues in the immediate aftermath, rather than waiting for them to develop into something more serious.
Hey, this is a comic where lying in bed all day is considered an attempt at suicide.
Carla did not react to it as a suicide attempt, she reacted to big depression red flags (and lying in bed all day without doing anything at all, not even a laptop or a book, with lights off, is a really big one) + explicitly stated suicidal ideation (“that sounds nice” at a comment about her possibly being found dead)
Watching violence without being able to do something *is* traumatizing.
Actually, modern trauma research shows that being helpless and unable to act in any situation that is perceived as endangering your life or that of someone you love is a mayor factor to trauma, being in a position to act is a good preventer.
I wonder how long it’ll be till we learn what actually happened. Best case is Amber’s in hospital and jerkface in jail hospital.
That absolutely would’ve been enough to cause PTSD, but what you wrote misses the bigger picture. Dorothy thought she and her friend were going to be stabbed brutally by a vengeful rapist and stalker AT BEST, and then her best friend upstairs would get the same treatment AT BEST. And THEN she helplessly watched as her friend stabbed the everloving shit out of him. Dorothy isn’t a trained martial artist like Amber or a cop or something. She’s an 18 year old who seems to have lived a relatively safe, normal life, and what she just experienced was utterly terrifying. Just, speaking from experience as someone who witnessed Some Shit and then got diagnosed with PTSD in college, my two cents.
I can see Dorothy bouncing back relatively quickly, but she’s gotta process this first.
Bingo. I think you covered all the squares.
[TW death] They say PTSD happens when you’re confronted to the concept of death forcefully without ways to deal with it, either by killing, being nearly killed or witnessing a murder or near-murder. [TW rape] Or rape, for rape is a symbolic form of murder.
So, yeah, Dorothy has a strong mind from a healthy childhood but you never know what will make you crack.
I friggin’ LOVE Dorothy, and it’s very healing to see she has a good infrastructure for her mental health.
Bless your heart, Walky. You are boyfriending right.
I know, major props to both of them! On that note I really, really love the way Willis handles trauma and mental health stuff.
Therapy can be very good I agree. As for rebooting…… if it is true all the more reason i wish i could cry really.
Okay what I’m about to say is in no way meant to disparage therapy. Dorothy is absolutely doing the right thing here and what’s best for her mental well being.
That being said of course she’s going to therapy 72 hours after all this. It’s completely in character that she’d be checking off a list of how one successfully recovers from a traumatic incident. Again she is absolutely doing the right thing but of course she’s doing the “right thing.”
I’ just saying I wouldn’t be surprised if she made the appointment as soon as office hours started the next morning.
Annnd I’m done. Sorry if I’m being mean. I feel like I might be being mean.
Definitely in character for her to go through the motions of ‘getting better’ just so she can get back to fulfilling her ambitions. I think going through the motions will help here though.
I don’t think it’s mean. I think it’d be totally Dorothy to make a to-do list for Coping After Watching Your Friend Slice Up An Attacker. I feel like making lists and going through the sequence of things she thinks she Should do might even be a coping strategy for her. But at least therapy is a significantly good idea after something like that, whether it’s an item on a list or not.
I teach in college. When I got a phone call telling me my mother had suffered a severe stroke and was in intensive care, hundreds of miles away, the first thing I did was go to a psychology professor and ask her help in dealing with what I was feeling. It actually helped a lot. (My mother recovered better than expected, but it took years.)
Trust Dorothy not to loose any time waffling about therapy being sinister or her being strong enough to cope on her own.
Her body will thank her for getting to process that shit asap.
She says in that conversation that she talks to a therapist all the time.
She might have already checked the counseling center out. Possibly even as part of choosing the school
I’ll let the multi paragraph analysts talk more about it, but I just gotta say, good on you Walky, being there for Dorothy like you are. You may not know exactly how to help her, but your presence there just in case you might be able to help is a great step
I know! He’s so adorable being here for Dorothy!
Do you believe Dorothy’s story here? I don’t! I think Walky got it just right: Trauma. A healthy psyche can’t walk away from watching a friend eviscerate someone.
I mean…how many of the characters in this comic would you describe as “having a healthy psyche?”
Dorothy is one of the few, I think. Probably the only one in the primary cast!
Becky’s doin’ alright, especially considering her recent trauma.
Becky’s traded one kind of repression for another.
Jesus Christ did amber seriously kill him?
Probably not, since that would take Amber out of the comic
Not necessarily. Dude attacked Amber and Dorothy with a deadly weapon, but is himself the one who got deaded in the fight, that’s pretty clear-cut self-defense, and Dorothy, and possibly security camera footage, can testify to this. Amber is probably better off, legally, if she did kill him, because that means that the only story about how it went down is Amber and Dorothy’s.
And note that the alternative to “Amber killed him” is “Amber cut him badly but left him alive”, which amounts to pretty much the same thing, in terms of how long before we’d see her out of an orange jumpsuit, if she didn’t get off on self-defense.
It’s basically impossible that this story plays out in any way other than “Amber gets off on self defense.”
Willis has said multiple times that nobody is going to die in this comic.
What he’s said is that nobody that anyone cares about is going to die, because given how slowly comic time moves, the mourning period would last for years of real time, and it would be awful. He gave Tony as an example of someone who could die, because no one cares about him except Big Boss, and no one cares about Big Boss.
I don’t think anyone we care about is going to be mourning Ryan.
This is the same reason I’m pretty sure Amber isn’t going to prison for knifing Ryan. Given the speed of comic time, even a short sentence would be, for all practical purposes, forever. And though it’s not quite as complete as killing her off, I don’t think he’s going to make it so all the other characters’ interactions with Amber forever are through a plexiglass window.
Amber killing Ryan would ruin her character arc.
Ohhhhhh, I just remembered Sal got stuck in therapy for a long time after the robbery and apparently it was not with helpful folks. No wonder Walky is worried. He may not have paid much attention to Sal’s grievances, but he may have noticed he always had more to tune out after she got back from therapy.
Ooooh! Well spotted. And I somehow doubt whatever happened to Billie after she wrapped the car around a tree made him more supportive of therapy either.
Walky might not have the most constructive baseline when it comes to mental health.
Though it’s not clear to me that Walky saw much of her after that. There may have been some before she was sent off to boarding school, but most of it was probably there and I got the impression she didn’t come back home much.
No, he definitely didn’t see her much after she was taken to the school, but, depending on when the robbery took place, she was probably there for a while, at least until she got her sentence. She was 13 during the robbery and since she was gone for 5 years, she was probably sent there in 8th grade and so would have just turned 13 when the robbery happened, rather than being 13 turning 14.
I’m still convinced that Sal was sent by her parents, rather than it being part of her sentencing.
It makes no sense how Sal never has hostage taking and attempted murder on her rap sheet otherwise.
Could’ve been, but that’s not really better for the Walkerton’s parenting levels. It’s actually worse.
TBF, we’ve not actually seen or heard her entire rap sheet before. Most people only mention the robbery because that’s all the know about (like Walky, Joyce, etc), Sal’s hardly inclined to share details, and Amber uses ‘the robbery’ to encompass everything that happened that night. Regardless, I can see it being her parents call as well, since Sal’s pretty damn resentful about it, and if it wasn’t her parents call (even if they definitely pressured her to pick option A over option B) she can at least sort of rationalize it.
Yes, exactly. It’s the Walkerton’s sending their Problem Child out of sight and mind for “her own good.”
Any time Sal’s crimes are mentioned it is always that she held up two convenience stores. That has to be deliberate; personally I think the Siegals cut a deal with the Walkertons that let Sal skip out on the hostage taking charge in return for Amber not facing criminal charges for stabbing Sal.
Yeah and they get to play the concerned parents to the neighbours who just want what’s best for their troubled daughter, because of course they give a flying fuck about her.
I’m not sure how well that would work. If they were going to make a deal, it would be with the cops, not with the Siegals, and I’m not sure if they could affect the charges against Amber, especially since stabbing somebody is pretty serious. It’s easier to bargain your way out of less serious things than major things. I guess they could have both arranged not to press charges, but sometimes it doesn’t really matter if the victim wants charges pressed, the police can do so anyways (especially for serious things like stabbing or hostage taking). As for it not being mentioned, I’m fairly sure it’s because most of the time it’s because it’s mentioned by people who don’t know. Amber and Ethan both have that as a fairly huge part of their recollection of the robbery (understandably) and Sal’s only ever mentioned it to people who she likes but doesn’t super trust like Joyce and Becky. We’ve never seen her talk about it with Marcie or seen flashbacks to the robbery from her point of view, much less heard what she was officially charged with.
Amber didn’t get any kind of sentence or punishment, though, not even court mandated therapy.
Sal went to a boarding school on her parents’ dime instead of going to juvie and she had a choice in the matter, and Amber didn’t get hit with anything at all. That to me says that some things were brushed under the rug, like say, Sal not getting charged for hostage taking if Amber doesn’t get charged for unprovoked assault.
It is true that Amber didn’t get in trouble, and it is possible that the reason for that is because of something being swept under the rug, but it’s also true that boarding schools are an alternative to juvie, and it’s not unheard of for the parents to have to pay for them. Which might actually indicate it was offered because of the Walkerton’s wealth. Plus Amber was also a traumatized young white girl and so the authorities may have been more inclined to cut her slack. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was a deal, but I don’t think it’s any kind of certainty.
I know we’re a racist as fuck society but I have a hard time believing that a little white girl could get away with humiliating the officers on sight and stabbing an unarmed, detained victim. It demands some form of response, and Amber didn’t get it. That to me is suspicious.
It’s also been made pretty clear by now that the boarding school was the Walkertons’ choice, and that Sal was released back into their custody after the robbery. Having their mutual worst crimes swept under the rug makes too much sense to me.
Given Amber’s father’s behaviour, I wouldn’t be surprised if he cut a deal to avoid her being charged since it would reflect poorly on him. That the deal also avoids Amber receiving any kind of help would not concern him.
Maybe I’m just more cynical regarding that then, because I can believe worse.
That’s fair. I can also see the school being their idea or something the Walkertons had their lawyer argue for even if it was part of the sentence, but you made a lot of good arguments for it not being.
Also, the stabbing could have thrown a wrench into the prosecution of Sal. Her lawyer could have had a conversation with the prosecutor:
Drop the charges, or agree to nothing worse than probation in exchange for a guilty plea (it depends on a lot we don’t know), and Sal’s parents will send her to a boarding school out of state. Otherwise, be prepared to explain in court why a 13-year-old girl being restrained by a police officer was stabbed with a knife that had also been held by a police officer.
Then, Amber’s lawyer has the following conversation:
Drop the charges, or explain to a jury why you are prosecuting the (white) girl who reacted to being the victim of a crime, when you let off the (black) girl who actually committed the crime.
(He might not explicitly play the race card, but he might if it would help his client, which is his job.)
Do we know that the therapy began right away? I honestly can’t remember if the comic said whether it was her parents, the courts, or the school that made her get therapy.
She never got therapy. Blaine put her in self defense training instead.
Oh shit you meant Sal.
Probably her parents or court mandated.
The courts probably mandated SOMETHING, but I can’t imagine her parents were upset about that. They probably also hired one of their own to double check or have one in their pay pocket. I also wouldn’t be surprised if her school made her go to counselling (and/or some kind of ‘spirit counselling/confession/bible study/moral instruction’ type thing). So, certainly one of them and possibly all three.
Quite likely some kind of plea deal to keep her out of juvie. Therapy and a more “structured environment”
Quite possibly better for Sal than leaving her at home, given how well that was going.
Counseling and therapy for the parents (and maybe the whole family) might have worked better, but that wasn’t gonna happen.
You can’t really blame either Sal or the therapist(s) for therapy not working in that situation. We still don’t really know why Sal started robbing stores. It seems likely, given her background that here faith in fair-minded adults was already non-existent when she started.
Any therapist reaching her after the incident would have had to be a genius.
Sal robbed the convenience stores so her parents would pay attention to her.
Yes we do, it was for attention from her parents when she had run out of other ways to try to earn it. A good therapist wouldn’t have to be a genius to win her over, they’d have to be fair-minded and non-judgemental and patient which they likely weren’t as Sal now distrusts all therapists.
ugh… relatable on both sides. I’ve been on Walky’s side where I have felt shrinks were something to be wary of, but mostly because I had to deal with the incompetent kind. (Short of the long, I got bullied. Shrink decided *I* was the problem and suggested to my parents that of all things, I should get signed up for electroshock therapy. I wish I was joking. My parents basically told said shrink “How about no.”)
At the same time tho’, I’ve been at a point in my life where talking with a professional… might help me process some things I’ve been bottling of up for the past years. Question is just finding someone qualified.
Bad therapists can do a lot of damage. The one you mentioned seems to have his head stuck in the 19th century (not to mention his ass). Good things your parents didn’t go along with the suggestion.
I hope you will find someone who really wants to help and knows how.
I’m still axious about them after my shittastic social worker.
I’m so proud of Dorothy for getting the help she needs! It’s refreshing to see a character with such a healthy attitude about mental health, not just in DoA but in general
Man, Walky/Dorothy is p much my second most favorite romantic relationship in this comic (Dina/Becky is the first obvs). They both care about each other genuinely, and they care about other people and understand it about each other, and they’ve been opening up to each other more and more. They might not always do the best thing in every situation, but they do the best thing they know to do, and they both notice when the other person does the best thing they know to do and appreciate it fully. They just… connect. Notice each other’s sweet gestures and best qualities without ignoring the worse ones and building up ideals in their heads (well, mostly).
I love Walky’s joking here. He’s engaging with exactly what Dorothy’s saying, both picking up her metaphor and relating it to the underlying issue – yes, Walky has trouble processing emotions, and this is as good as him admitting to that. Because he isn’t arguing with Dorothy, he isn’t getting defensive, he isn’t saying any shit about ‘being a man’. He just says “I’m used to dealing with this differently” in a way that all but admits explicitly that his way is worse.
He’s just so… open here, ready to be there for his girlfiend and willing to learn from her.
Walky and Dorothy are so, so good for each other. Even with Dorothy leaving for Yale and breaking off the relationship eventually, I can see them being best friends and each other’s sounding boards for pretty much their entire lives afterwards. They just… click in the best emotional intimacy way.
I love this relationship so much.
I just freaking love Dorothy’s relentlessly rational and pragmatic approach to life.
As do I. It will be sad when the world finally breaks her.
Sorry, couldn’t resist the callback. But I do believe she’s going to hit the glass ceiling and hit it hard… Just not hard enough to break through.
That’s nice of him to wait there for her. :>
C’mon, Walky, take the misbehaving computer to Carla, who will apply her USB stick loaded with Rubuntu Live, and make everything better.
She’d probably force him to say that Ultra Car is better than Dexter & Monkey Master as payment, and that would just be a bridge too far
The wallpaper will be an uneditable picture of Ultra Car throwing a giant extendable middle finger.
Shrinks are great.
Well, at least they’re a great idea and a lot of them live up to that idea.
Of course, the ones who don’t are terrifying and terrible.
Overall, I recommend the concept of shrinks and getting you one if you struggle with your mindspace as I would recommend a dermatologist if you struggled with your skin.
I don’t recommend the concept of shrinks if the only thing this concept inspires you is a quick way of getting rid of someone else. “You dare say/be/act like that ? Well, you’re in need of a shrink”. Especially if the person you’re telling this is your kid. Shrinks can’t rectify the consequences of your horrible parenting while you’re still a horrible parent.
That was my tiny take on the concept of shrinks. Be well, everybody !
Oh my! I think Walky is at least four of our faculty members when their computers get slow. (I know he’s probably joking but) we have multiple academic professionals who throw a tantrum when we tell them to restart their computers.
I really want to see a strong male character in a movie cry, and someone says (like it’s an accusation) “Are you crying?” and the first one says “Yeah, what about it?”
YES!!! So important!
Hell, it’s one of the things I love about Steven Universe. That Steven cries all the time, but it’s never once used to denigrate either his strength or his identity as a man.
It’s so much healthier than what we usually see in fiction of the stoic action hero who will only allow one single tear at a suitably manly moment.
Amethyst: “Who would want to watch a TV-show about characters who cries all the time?”
Steven, tearing up: “I would”
It reminds me a little of that one saying that, while kinda immature, does have a bit of truth, “Real men wear pink”. Of course, that hardens back to when blue (associated with the Virgin Mary) was the “feminine” color and pink (associated with bright blood and Mars) was the “masculine” color. But the kernel of truth is this: if you are male, emotions and “non-masculine” things (in this case, the color pink) in no way compromise your ability to “be a man” and you can do things like cry or like things targeted at a feminine audience with complete security. For example, I use Dove soap and deodorant (traditionally marketed to women) because skin is skin and it makes my skin feel nice and protects against the smell of sweat better than any “manly” brands. Same with hair products for straight hair. And pore clearing face wash and the such.
But yeah, if I ever have kids there are two cartoon series that I will ensure they watch: Steven Universe and The Last Airbender (combing ATLA and LOK because they’re kinda the same series with a giant time skip and James Cameron won’t let Bryke use “Avatar” anymore). God bless Rebecca Sugar and everyone who works on Steven Universe.
If Steven didn’t cry, he’d burst from being an all-loving hero on the cusp of manhood* and handling a ton of adult fears. It’s just another way in which the show breaks basically all the rules of kids’ entertainment, and wonderfully.
(*Who can’t spend all day whackering, as you known.)
Precisely. And I’m going to confess, when I saw my younger brother watch the first episode I thought it was just going to be another silly Cartoon Network show. Then I actually started to really watch it myself and realized “Oh my god I love this show”. Which instantly made me afraid because it feels like Cartoon Network always shut down the shows I love after only one or two seasons for some reason *cough*Young Justice*cough*.
I’m older than most folks here, and my wife and I don’t have kids (and never had them).
So, we watch SU totally without “cover”. The odd bit is, my typical animation diet tends much more to Adult Swim and Archer, even though I like musical drama done right.
Steven Universe was practically designed to be overlooked and rejected at first glance. It accomplished this by promoting itself as he worst show ever and starting the first season with episodes which can only be appreciated in context at best, and are not that good even with the context from the next season at worst. After watching two episodes and the ads I thought it was terrible after watching some of the episodes from season 1 I didn’t blame past me.
Steven is so good. My standby reaction to #notallmen is, “You’re absolutely right, Steven Quartz Universe would never, because his dad Greg Universe taught him better than that”
Greg Universe is probably the ideal self-employed single dad to all of the gems’ mom and sister roles. Runs and operates a carwash, isn’t overly controlling but also isn’t too hands off, spends plenty of quality time with his son, and successfully taught his son how to be a true gentleman. All from a van.
Don’t know about Steven Universe as I haven’t watched but I don’t think seeing john Wick cry would have improved that movie or the sequel
But John Wick does cry in the first one. Or at least I think he does. When he gets the letter from his deceased wife with the dog and when he holds said dog’s body in the aftermath of Theon Greyjoy’s break in. Isn’t he crying in those instants? Or when he’s in the shower but we can’t see his face? I swear we’ve seen John Wick cry.
I’m just waiting for a superhero moving doing that. We have so many rehashes of the same theme with the same stoic name now that it’s nothing short of criminal that we don’t see more variation in them.
It would be the perfect vehicle for exploring masculinity, so I desperately hope we will see that soon.
[
“Catwoman: “Crying? You? You didn’t strike me the type.”
Batman: “I have cried for 20 years. Why would these tears come as a surprise? Now, let’s go kick some ass.”
]
Can’t really see Batman doing it. His whole thing is being far too screwed up for that. If Bruce had been able to cry properly, he probably never would have become Batman.
I could see Clark crying though and Batman being totally weirded out by it.
Wait, are you saying SAO Abridged isn’t a superhero movie?
In the first Superman movie with Christopher Reeve he sort of cries after pulling Lois out of the ground.
LMAO!!! Stop Danning things up Walky!
Walky is the old Dan!!! Yes!!
Comic Reactions:
Panels 1-3: I like these shots of Walky being a good boyfriend, because he genuinely does try in his way to be a good boyfriend and sister and it’s moments like this that capture that.
He worries about folks he cares about being in pain and he doesn’t know how to best support, but gosh darnit does he give his best nonetheless. It’s the sweetness that is central to his character.
Panel 4: A good therapist can be a game changer and help keep you functional and I love that that keeps getting modeled in comic because I grew up terrified of therapists. I read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and assumed talking to one would mean I would be locked up forever and never allowed to leave. And it prevented me from getting real help for the longest time.
The years I’ve spent with a therapist have been critical, giving me a language for what was going on in my head, getting me meds I need to stabilize the shittier parts of my brain, and helping me power my way through intense shit. As Dorothy says, with a good therapist, it’s very healthy.
Panel 5: I love this panel.
Because yes, crying is good. It’s cathartic, it’s releasing, it’s sometimes the thing you need because some great upsetting event has occurred. There have been times when what I needed was to cry until I couldn’t anymore.
And that was hard to learn. I was raised as if I was a boy and so I had my tendency to cry literally beaten out of me and I learned instead to swallow pain and show nothing, because to do anything else “only encouraged them”.
So relearning how to cry was a long and slow process filled with a lot of fear and it really didn’t help that for a time I had a partner who could not abide me showing strong emotions and so showing evidence that I had been weeping was right out.
Even now, my natural tendency when something upsetting is happening is to go numb and seek out a solution rather than letting myself just process the hurt and cry. So it’s beautiful to see that line from Dorothy. How healthy and good it is, how reaffirming and universal it is. It’s what younger me would have needed.
Panel 6: There have been hints at various times about the extreme wealth the Walkertons possess (meeting with the Dean in the box seats, etc…), but it’s moments like this that really hammer it home. Walky grew up in an environment where he could do that with his laptops and his parents would shrug off the expense and it really puts into context a lot of his immaturity (he really hasn’t had to do many things for himself).
And it shows how wide the rift between him and Sal is. Sal spoke highly of saving up the money for her motorbike, whereas Walky could throw out a laptop every couple of months. And we can pretty much assume she was blamed for the cost of her court-ordered therapy programs and the Catholic school she was shipped off to.
They really were set against each other as kids which makes their hesitant efforts to repair the rift really meaningful. Their parents did everything they could to ensure mistrust between them, but they’re finding a new way to sibling, slowly but surely.
I’m happy by how matter of fact Dorothy is. “Of course I’m crying. It’s good for you.” No need to get defensive or joke it away.
I think it is very important for Walky to hear as well, given how much toxic masculinity bullshit he carries.
Your panel five reaction made me realize something: this is why I love Tolkien’s universe so much. Because one of Tolkien’s central themes is that showing emotion is healthy and doesn’t detract from an individual at all. Pretending emotions don’t exist or repressing them are actively harmful. Many of his best male characters are kind, compassionate, and perfectly ok with crying. Aragorn, Faramir (especially Faramir), Boromir, Beren, Sam (my God Samwise has been my hero since I was 7), Gandalf, Theoden, Legolas, Gimli, in the books Thorin. The list goes on. It’s Faramir gentleness that leads to Eowyn marrying him. It’s Theoden’s concern and love for his people that initially paralyzed and then motivated him to make the ultimate sacrifice. Boromir only warmed up to Aragorn after expressing his emotions and the few questionable things he does is because he will do anything to save his people, and his final actions realizing he was wrong and trying to mitigate that wrong in whatever way they can. Gimli feels no shame at mourning his fallen friends and kin in Moria, or of singing with joy in the glittering cave beneath Helm’s Deep or sheepishly asking for a single strand of Galadriel’s hair. Sam, well I’d argue that he’s the shining example of “strong queer man” (you cannot convince me he is not at least bi), and he is no less “manly” for the crying that he does. Beren (from the first age) only enters Doriath because his compassion allows him to pass through the barrier, mourns each set of friends he loses, and eventually has such love for the Luthien (and she for him) that they both get brought back to life. And Gandalf speaks perhaps the greatest line concerning this theme, “I will not say do not cry. For not all years are evil.” Gandalf is a being almost of pure compassion. Which is because as Olorin he served the Vala Nienna, the Vala of compassion and mercy who always weeps because she is saddened by the hardships all creation goes through in Middle-Earth throughout the ages, and whose tears heal injuries physical and spiritual. Likewise, every evil in the history of Arda comes from either a denial of emotions or a twisting of love. Sauron himself only became evil because he wanted to give peace and order to the otherwise chaotic lives of Arda, which eventually became a desire to dominate everything. Melkor himself, as Morgoth the first Dark Lord, at first was only filled with curiosity and a wish to create, which eventually became twisted from his jealousy of Eru being the only one who could create truly sapient life. Feanor, and all the bad things that came out of him and his sons in Beleriad, started out as a loving son who desperately missed his birth mother but would never confide his feelings of loss and pain to anyone. That sadness from his mother dying giving birth to him eventually led him to despise his stepmother and half-brothers, and his inability to deal with grief following his father’s death at Morgoth’s hands led to him and his sons swearing the Oath of Feanor and at least three inter-elven conflicts as a result. It always feels as if Tolkien just, understood emotion in a way that the rest of us as a society didn’t even begin to scratch until a decade ago, and most still don’t.
…
Sorry, I started rambling there. It’s just…so important to me.
I don’t have anything to add, but as a big Tolkien fan just wanted to say “nice analysis”.
Thank you. I once had a debate with a philosophy major and an English major about the role of gender in Tolkien’s works. My point was that characters such as Faramir, Aragorn, Gandalf, and Sam were Tolkien’s ideal of human masculinity while the few interactions we get from the orcs shows them as representatives of toxic masculinity. Also that women are just as important and powerful as men in the Lord of the Rings. When they brought up the fact that Eowyn had to hide who she was when she rode out with the rest of the Rohirrim was, “Well duh she has to disguise herself. She just abandoned her post and disobeyed her king after he made her his regent. Plus, Theoden knows if they lose he and Eomer will die in all likelihood. And even if they win he and Eomer will most likely still die. He doesn’t expect to survive. He is handing her the Kingdom of Rohan because she’s the next in line for the throne after Eomer given the Rohirric line of succession. If Eomer had died, Eowyn would have been Theoden’s heir. That’s why she has to hide who she is. Otherwise Theoden will think she’s abandoned their people. Oh, and her Eored’s captain clearly knows who she is, or at the very least knows she’s a woman and has no problem with the fact. And originally there were going to be more shieldmaidens in Rohan, but they had to be cut as characters because one actually messed up the succession line Tolkien had planned out and another was superfluous. Those were just named shieldmaiden characters. Tolkien implies that there are other shielmaidens in Rohan, it’s just that they’re rarer and serve as either homegaurd units or on a volunteer as opposed to a conscripted basis.”
…
It was one of the few times I had ever actually had alcohol (a cold dunkel beer and a half pint of mead to be exact) and we were at a nice little pub. As Tolkien fans we were practically obligated to discuss and debate Lord of the Rings.
I wonder if Tolkien modeled his characters after the Greco-Roman epics in that regard; I know the Iliad and Aeneid feature their male leads crying to mourn losses and misfortunes.
It’s based partially on his own frontline experiences in WW1 on the Somme. Man saw the worst of what humanity can do to each other and how people men deal with that experience and live. Of his close group of nine friends, only one of them survived the war with him. The others all died. So he also knew the pain of loss. And he started writing Beren and Luthien while in a field hospital recovering from trench foot.
…Can… can I hug you … because this analysis was beautiful.
Tries to be a good sister? I guess IW is back with a vengeance…
Oops, Word of Willis is that Walky’s line at the end is a joke which makes a lot more sense. Queue that up to me being a dumbass for taking that one seriously.
You know, I found it funny that I saw a fair few “Walky, no!” posts, and thought it was about his attitude to therapists, and then suddenly, I saw “Walky, no, don’t throw away your laptop and make your parents buy you a new one, you spoiled brat!” and I was like “Huh? Is that what everyone else was complaining about too?”
Aw man … you’re not dumb, I thought it was real too.
Anna has a new character model
boooooo
boooooo
boooourns
I see Walky’s preferred laptop optimization method is the same as Reaper’s shotgun reload method in Overwatch. 😛
The other day I learned not everyone knows crying dumps the body’s excess stress hormones. Even people who have done therapy for years. So there that is, for anyone wondering why it feels good.
It didn’t work for Sarah’s first roommate.
Crying doesn’t cure depression and drug addiction unfortunately.
Gratuitous Crying Song
Is this therapy for seeing the stabbing, or for collage anxiety or both?
Walky says “trauma”, which implies the stabbing. If she’s been seeing the therapist regularly, as she implies, hopefully, she’s also addressed the grade anxiety.
But mostly: “collage anxiety”. I’ve had that. They’re harder than they look. 🙂
For Dorothy getting a C is trauma.