That sounds just like teaching the fresh college graduate at work how things actually work outside the Ideal Physics Land of textbooks. There’s no teacher quite like experience, and Leslie has plenty to share.
Mine’s gotten less bitter and angry than when I was younger and much more of a snarky atheist, but yeah, it’s very much like Leslie’s here. Like, yeah, no. That’s not happening. Best of luck to you and the missus as well.
I don’t know how old Leslie is, but maybe Daisy? Since she’s running the newspaper, she’s presumably a couple years older than most of the cast. Maybe a senior, and 22.
Still technically a student, but probably too old to be one of Leslie’s, anyway.
Casting around time (pun intended): If Daisy is a senior will she be going to grad school? What do student newspaper editors at a big U with a School of Journo* do, typically?
(Asking anyone, not singling you out.)
*It’s now the School of Media at IU, sometime between them first DofA strip and now.
Nope. And almost all of the ancillary cast are college students, so she’s definitely low on options in that fourth-wall-breaking assessment of things. Like, Lia is right, the only cast member kind of in that category by age is Jocelyne who is likely 23-24, maybe even 25, but Jocelyne is most likely straight.
So outside a new character popping up, I think Leslie is unlikely to be dating anyone anytime soon.
I think it would be both hilarious and adorable if Leslie hit up a relationship with a new character (with or without Becky’s help) and we got to see almost nothing of it, just her coming home with a big grin and Becky asking if the date went well, getting a high five in return.
Leslie: “I asked her why her hair was that color, and then she asked me my mine was its color. Then I tolder that my body is actually a conscious manifestation of light, and she said, ‘I know how that is,’ although *chortles* I highly doubt it.”
Becky: “I have no idea what you just said.”
Leslie: “Then I have something very important to show you.”
Aaaand that explains Becky’s mentality all these years, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me since it’s a good summary of what I’ve seen so far. Still, I don’t think it makes her all that great at being a wingwoman. 😛
Like Joyce, she has a very unrealistic idea of relationships from bad romance movies and will likely have to clear out some of that garbage as she navigates what relationships are actually like.
I’ve heard that, when you come out of the closet (or nuke it from orbit), and start seeking relationships that you really want, you’re basically 14, no matter what your real age is. You haven’t practiced any of the skills involved or dismantled any assumptions or anything and have zero idea how this even works.
Becky is lucky, she was only a few years behind and is very rapidly catching up… but sometimes, she’s gonna be 14. 🙂
Going off ladies we know are into other ladies, a lot of ladies are out
Dina, Billie, Ruth, Grace, Mandy, Malaya, Sierra, Carla, and Daisy are all students and are thus out of the question. I imagine she’d not be enthused about dating any 18 year olds actually, due to the gap in life experiences, so Marcie would be out too. Robin’s out because she’s an asshole. I think that kinda blows through all of the ones we know thus far. I guess one of the noobs is gonna have to be Leslie’s option if she pursues any relationships.
It’s established by Willis’s statement early on of everyone having the same sexuality as in the other universe, where her counterpart, Ultra-Car, was in a long-term romantic relationship with another woman (Malaya). (She’s also asexual.)
Over in the Walkyverse. Sexuality is always the same across universes. So any updated information we get in DoA (like Becky is a lesbian, Danny is bi) is also retroactively canon there, and anything explicit from there (ex. Ruth is bi) is canon here.
wait wait, how do we know Jocelyne is not into ladies?? I remember she said to Ethan something like “You’re gay? I’m not, actually”, but, like, let me just put it this way, if you asked Billy if she was gay she would also say she wasn’t. Was there any other evidence on Jocelyne’s orientation?
Unlike with Billie – who only said she wasn’t a lesbian, which is true as she’s bisexual – we’ve been given absolutely no reason to question Jocelyn when she said she wasn’t straight.
Like, there had been multiple Slipshine comics of Billie and Ruth banging before that strip. We’ve never seen Jocelyn show the slightest interest in another woman.
I just found out that there are single cell organisms which reproduce sexually. Holy shit, that’s awesome! Why wasn’t I told this in school? We only learned about cells splitting and duplicating themselves there.
This doesn’t have anything to do with the comic, but hot damn! Single cell organisms have sex!
Becky’s still in a little delusional state of mind, which is fine cause she’s young and enthusiastic and optimistic for herself and I’m very proud of her. But the same rules against student-teacher fraternization still apply to non-straight people. Since she’s an excited freshman it’s not so bad but she’ll definitely be wanting some guidance before too long, which Dina and Leslie are definitely going to provide.
I dont know why I delineated on this topic for so long but there you go
I’m surprised there’s rules against dating college age students who aren’t in your class. Then again, I’m always leery of attempts to regulate the personal lives of adults.
Teachers talk and can influence each outer, just because you aren’t dating your teacher doesn’t mean it(You dating a teacher at your school) wont/can’t effect your grade with outer teachers.
And teachers can enforce the rules for students at the school they teach at. For instance, if Leslie saw two people fighting in the halls she’d probably be obligated to at least try to break it up before someone broke something. Or if she found out Becky was rooming in Billie’s room – she could definitely get in trouble with her boss for not reporting that someone is living on school resources without paying.
I dunno, neither of those is the job of the professors and, particularly w.r.t. a fight, I’d put good money on the actual protocol being to not intervene but to call campus police. Safety of the workforce.
If she found out about Becky squatting at the school, I’m fairly sure she’d be expected to report it and I can’t imagine she’d not catch hell if her boss found out she didn’t. It is on professors to enforce university rules, whatever protocol for that is.
Also, I’m 33, and people younger than 28 look like fresh faces babies to me. Leslie probably wouldn’t be interested in anyone under 24 even if they weren’t her students.
Becky isn’t currently a student, but she wants to enroll once she’s on the financial footing to do so.
That said, Leslie is at a different stage in her life. She might not feel right with someone so much younger, even if they weren’t at all tied to IU. Generally by the time you’re in your late 20s, and you’ve lived independently off a steady job for a few years, you have a different perspective and don’t feel like you have much in common with those who are college-age and younger anymore. (Of course this varies for everyone.)
Leslie, you could meet Sierra’s older sister at church! I mean, it’s not like you have had a traumatic experience with organized religion that has permanently turned yo…oh right.
Yup. Like, that’s such a firm line for a teacher, it’s not even funny. Like, even just reading this strip where it’s discussed as a possibility, I feel a deep physical revulsion and like my skin is crawling. And this is a fictional depiction where Leslie is maintaining that strong boundary. It is that not okay.
I think she’s talking about hypothetical twenty-something non-students hanging out on/near campus – who may not be students in fact but they’re “potentially” students enough so that she shouldn’t be hitting on them.
Not every denial has to be some shallow veil over a person’s true desires or whatever. Contrary to certain media outlets, people have the capacity to mean what they say and say what they mean
Also people can totally have “do me” hair and not be actively looking for someone. Dressing sexy or trying out a new style can be a confidence-building activity. Plus, y’know, the context of Leslie’s last attempt at trying to be sexy and putting herself out there and how disastrously that went for her.
Panel 2: But I like how Leslie just rolls with it and banters back, knowing that Becky is just being over-eager in her attempt to “earn her keep”. Like her eyebrows betray that she’s not flipping this back on Becky maliciously, but rather as an attempt to reassert the dynamic she’d prefer, where she’s just a sort of surrogate mom/older mentor figure giving her a stable place to live.
Where that will surely backfire is Becky most certainly has seen those “wacky shenanigan” movies where the kids work hard to get their dry spell parent back on the dating scene to find true love.
Panels 2-3: This is legitimately heart-breaking of a mask drop and shows how Leslie’s playful flip nonetheless hit some real exposed nerves. Becky is trying hard to present confidence, but part of the reason she is gaga for trying to be “pay her keep” to Leslie and went on her “teach me the ways of the lesbian, sensei” kick is that she doesn’t know how to be gay.
Like, she doesn’t actually need to know anything to be gay as there is not just one way to be queer, but she lacks any real purchase on community or dynamics. And that’s not uncommon for baby queers. A lot of us have probably been at that point where we have no idea where to go to look safely for potential dates or how to access community and resources or what we can do to signal to other folks that “yes, I’m queer”.
Becky is completely at a loss of the normative means of getting a girlfriend and the only method she has, the only method that has worked for her so far is actually pretty normative, but is somewhat tinged in the circumstances that created it.
Meeting a friend of a friend at a party and hitting it off is not uncommon. And Becky loves Dina with all her heart. But that party was a bittersweet attempt to create a safe space for healing for Joyce after her near-rape and involved her spending a lot of the night struggling with how her feelings for Joyce weren’t just going away even though she was rejected.
And here we see the depth of all of this and how much Becky has to mourn to move on. Joyce wasn’t just her first crush, she was the woman she loved and fantasized for years about and who she went to first when everything was falling apart and she’s still her best friend. She’ll need to get over that as no one owes anyone reciprocation for feelings of attraction, but it’s going to take time and probably crafting a space for her to mourn the possible future she let herself get invested in.
Extra heartbreaking given how important community has been for Becky and Joyce their entire upbringing. Becky may have kept God but she has lost the church, and she is desperate for something to replace it.
*nods intensely* Which is why well this entire dynamic she’s trying to set up with Leslie. She sees Leslie as the entry point in a replacement community and well… she’s not wrong that the queer community is forged by the dispossessed, but I don’t think it’ll exactly look like what she’s used to as it’s not very church-like.
It’d probably help (at least to establish some sort of familiar setting) if she could find a nearby, queer-friendly church, but she might not be aware that such a beast is possible.
It also might not be – the nearby restriction is potentially pretty strict (Becky doesn’t seem to own any vehicles, and the public transportation situation in Indiana is a disgrace), and given that the city is in Indiana queer-friendly churches are a bit thin on the ground.
Does anyone know how to have a reasonable fucking conversation with someone who refuses to chill the fuck out and stop being hostile about every fucking thing you say? I’m about to lose my fucking mind, and my laptop’s screen has already been punched clean off the hinges. I’m trying to keep talking and steer things to a calmer state, but it’s not working and I refuse to give up on this.
Ask them: “Would you like some space?” Without knowing the situation in detail, I can’t offer more than that. I mean, I don’t know what’s making them hostile, I don’t know if it is any of your or my business, and I don’t know if you’re talking to defend yourself from someone who just punched your laptop.
If it’s the last one, consider locking yourself in another room while you skype for help.
The laptop was my doing. Unfortunately, trying to end the conversation will actually make things even worse than they already are, when I come back. I’ve repeatedly asked what the initial trigger for this hostility was, and gotten “Figure it out yourself” every single time. There was another argument last night, but amends were in the process of being made, so I don’t understand what caused the (from my perspective) sudden reversal.
Well, I don’t know exactly. Maybe the trigger itself isn’t important. “I apologize for causing this, if I did. If not, I apologize for making it worse, if I did. If I can do anything to make it better, I would like to. But I can’t figure this out on my own, and I understand if you’re not up to helping me, since you are in emotional hurt.”
At least, that’s what I would say if I were rational all the time, around angry people I tend to get defensive and reflective, myself.
I’ll keep this under advisement. And I have a similar reaction to anger from other people. Since I have trouble reading people, I often have no idea what caused their anger, so I’m stuck on the defensive.
It may be best to try to disengage and say you’ll talk with them once they have calmed down and will tell you what actually happened because you can’t apologise sincerely or try to make things better if you don’t know what you actually did.
It sounds like ending the conversation and picking it up later after you’ve both had a chance to cool off is the best option, if it’s not something you absolutely MUST talk about right now
You can’t brute-force your way to understanding, not even metaphorically. Resist the urge to dig in your heels.
That just leads to “why are you bringing this up again” – probably the only even halfway viable option is to try to get a neutral third party to mediate, and even that’s not guaranteed. Otherwise just drop it forever and hope that the hostility isn’t permanent when you try to have a normal conversation the next day / next week.
…maybe…something that might help…is taking a breath and reminding yourself that you are only responsible for your emotions and reactions.
you can’t control anybody else’s. you can only ever sit in your own body and own your own choices. you can only work with whatever it is that you have. and i mean it definitely seems like you are putting a lot of work into this! but like it’s work put into trying to reconcile with someone who seems to be having a hard time communicating with you.
you don’t have to stick around someplace where someone is angry at you and won’t explain why. and, i mean, maybe they have good reasons for that, who knows. but if there are extended passive-aggressive hostilities, i think you’re probably beyond the point of reasonable conversation. and if they want you to just figure out why they’re upset yourself, then i think it’s super reasonable to just take a step back and…not deal with it
i mean, i don’t know, maybe it’s the sort of thing where if you step back things will become clearer. or maybe it’s the sort of thing where if you step back you start to let go. in either case, whatever decision you end up making is probably going to be the correct one for you, as long as you’re not unfair to the other person.
idk emotions are neither reasonable or logical, really
Until you fuck it up again, dumbass. Face it, you’ll just make the whole thing worse than it already was. I honestly don’t know how you managed to keep the relationship up this long. It seems like every couple of months, you’re causing a complete meltdown, and let’s just be honest here, it’s always entirely your own fault. Yeah, “Situation stable.”, my ass. We both know one wrong word is going to set everything off again, and then where will you be? Hopefully alone, like you deserve, you complete fucking lunatic. You’re fucking disgusting.
You have value, even on your own. Even if this relationship ends. Don’t go selling yourself short by calling yourself a failure, especially for something that hasn’t happened.
You had it right before. You don’t have to stick around if this relationship is hurting you. You don’t need to be a perfect shining angel to deserve better, or for your own needs to be important of your mental health to be worth protecting.
Okay so, uh… I went to sleep around noon (it would show as about 1:00, on here). And I always remember if I’ve woken up, even just for the bathroom. So, unless I woke up, turned on my laptop, entered my password, specifically opened this site, searched for my own post, typed up some weak trash talk, and then somehow forgot all of it…? Starting to think that wasn’t “Me” typing, if you catch my drift. This had better be an isolated incident.
Most likely you woke up, wrote it groggily, fell back to sleep quickly, and your brain interpreted this short sleep-interruption as a dream, so that it erased it along with your other dreams in the morning. That’s very common, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Unfortunately, I doubt that’s the case. As I said, I always remember if I’ve woken up, even just for a brief moment. Typing that would require more than enough time and focus for me to have a vivid memory of it. The only thing I can think of that would account for the lack of memory is sleepwalking or some sort of dissociative incident, only one of which has ever happened to me before. I’d love to think you’re right about this, but it doesn’t fit.
1) Your girlfriend or someone else did it. Though you seem to have ruled out your girlfriend (I’ll just trust that you’re right and have checked all ways she could have) and I don’t know if there is anyone else who could have. If there is, check if they could have done so.
2) You were sleepwalking. Stress can cause sleepwalking and since you have recently been fighting, you may have done so and let out subconscious anger you have at yourself for how your relationship frequently seems unstable.
Working on your communication skills as a couple or going to couple’s counseling may alleviate this by making it easier to reconcile problems and prevent meltdowns in the future – the usage of key words may be something you find helpful to express emotions and moods without having an entire conversation or lashing out at each other.
3) You had a singular dissociative episode that was similar to above, but rather than being asleep, you were awake and just disconnected from yourself leaving no memory of the event in question. Again, this would likely be caused by stress, particularly as you were fighting with your girlfriend recently.
4) You have a dissociative condition of some kind, and it is only coming to your attention now. Not necessarily DID, though that is a possibility as it can actually be a surprisingly subtle condition for some people.
5) You have a different condition, however, one of the possible symptoms is dissociation which has emerged because of your recent stress.
6) Someone hacked your Gravatar account and decided the best use of their time was to use your own account to insult you for some reason???
7) If you have taken any medications recently, they may have caused a side-effect of sleepwalking or a dissociative episode.
The most important thing to do is stay calm as it is more likely to be a one time thing, and once the stress is adequately reduced, it may not occur again.
If you are worried that it will be patternistic, you may want to purchase a camera of some kind so that you can record yourself sleeping as a way to monitor yourself.
Crunch one up, and you’ve got a nice sweetener for your meat, if that’s your thing. A taco-flavored jawbreaker would probably sell, too, under the right conditions. Who needs kinda-fruit-but-not-really, when you could have a flavor everyone can recognise without needing a colorful coating to trick them?
Panel 4: And there’s confirmation that this Universe’s Leslie has a similar view to religion as her other universe counterpart, which makes sense. It’s hard to look back positively on a religion or culture that brought you so much pain. And for Leslie, that pain was massive. She lost her family, her home. She was left on the streets with nothing, but a hateful religion and no rights. Like if we assume she went on the streets at 18, then in current universe, that was 2007. That was the year of Prop 8, before the massive pushback where states started falling like dominoes in service to queer rights and where the bigot groups were crowing happily about their complete dominance of the political arena (much like they are about trans rights these days).
And if she ended up on the streets in her teens, that could put that time at 2005 or 2006 when there was a potential we could hav seen a literal constitutional amendment banning the recognition of our relationships as valid.
All in the name of a religion she was raised in. Which rejected her. Becky may be able to look past that and retain her faith in a God above who loves her, but Leslie clearly has not and that’s absolutely okay.
Also, I like this interaction, because yeah, it’s Becky still bad boundary pushing her towards dating, but it’s asked rather than told and it’s not a bad guess at a place to meet people. Like, most people run screaming in the other way at dating coworkers, but I know a fair few who met on a job and got together shortly after one of them left.
And there’d be less of a taboo on that in the University, especially as I remember my own Gender Studies and Literature classes in college being taught by a web of teachers in various relationships with each other.
I think Leslie and Becky will be very good for each other, not only because they are similar and have shared experiences, but because they will challenge each other in ways that needs to be challenged.
Becky is bad at boundaries and bad at knowing when to play it subtle (she is not bad at PLAYING it subtle, but she doesn’t want to). There are situations that won’t improve by shouting that you are a lesbian, and Leslie can help her navigate those situations.
Leslie is bad at setting boundaries* and bad at acting as an authority figure, and having to be an adult for Becky will force her to be a bit stricter. It will also keep her focused on what is important. If she can help just one teenage queer person off the street she has made the world better in a way that matters.
On a deeper level… there is a world of obstacles before Leslie if she will ever have children, and if she is anything like her shortpacked-counterpart we know that she longs for it. And Becky can be her bratty teenage daughter, at least for a while. As for Becky, having a queer mother figure, if only for a while, would do something to heal the wound that is still fresh from when Bonnie died.
They will also drive each other nuts and it will be fun watching it.
*) I’m not talking about the Robin fiasco – that was all Robin ignoring boundaries rather than Leslie not setting them. But her interaction with her students, especially Roz, would improve if she acknowledged her authority.
Maybe he’s decent but she’s just unhappy about how the higher-ups appointed a buddy-buddy rather than a department insider? ….
…. no, wait, that’s not where department heads come from. When the position opened up and they started looking for someone with tenure and experience to put their research on hold to do bureaucracy instead, he’s the guy who ran away the slowest.
Panel 5: I also love this panel. That look of pure disgust and almost horror on Leslie’s face at Becky’s suggestion is exactly what a proper decent teacher’s response to that sort of suggestion should be. Like the idea of dating someone who’s a student or in that same general population as a student is something that leads a decent non-creepy teacher to vomit.
And I love how firmly Leslie states that boundary here. Like, fuck no, no amount of desperation will ever make that okay. And it’s probably a point of frustration for her given that she lives in a college town, so the general queer resources or clubs are likely filled with students or potential students and it’s not like there’s an easy to reach other queer-community-rich area she can pop over to like queer teachers in more metropolitan areas do*.
*My greatest fear is going to a specific type of community event and bumping into a current or former student.
But I also love Becky here. Her eyebrows betray that this wasn’t intended maliciously, just like Leslie’s teasing earlier. Like, she recognizes that she doesn’t have the secular outlets she could think of (cause Becky likely has zero idea that queer bars are even a thing) but honestly intended this as a “there there, at least you have…” thing.
Panel 6: But she also misses Leslie’s point entirely, which makes sense. She’s young and in a “liberal mecca” where she can see hot women all around and be herself and some of them are even open about being women who love women. Plus, she’s a big believer in the transformative power of love.
But that doesn’t mean everyone who loves women is in a headspace where they want to date or is actively seeking a relationship and people can have firm boundaries of who they are willing to consider as a potential partner.
And being young, Becky has probably not had much opportunity to consider the creep factor of an older person “preying on” younger folks, especially ones potentially under her charge and instruction and the fear of fitting in that creep factor.
Also, heck, on top of the visceral ick, there’s also the fact that queer teachers are not allowed any latitude on this shit. A creeper like Jason or Penny getting caught might disgrace them, but likely wouldn’t lead to their termination. Leslie, if she were to be a creeper?
Not only would she be shit-canned and turned into enemy numero uno, she’d also be the running chyron on Fox News for the next year as a symbol of corrupt liberal lesbians preying on your kids. Hell, even just adopting Becky as she has is likely to earn her a few question marks she’ll have to deal with.
But yeah, that’s definitely a “we’re done with this conversation” moment. Which is unfortunate, because the last thing Leslie needs is someone trying to push her towards a relationship given what happened with Robin, but I like the compare and contrast here. Where Robin was creepy, destructive, and manipulative and Becky is well-meaning, but naive and kind of bratty teenager.
And I like that Becky is feeling safe enough in this space and herself to snark and be a bit of a bratty teen, sassing back about straight food and how the olds don’t get dating really cute dinosaur-loving 18-year-olds. It’s such a normative thing for her to get, and it’s nice to see not only because of what she’s been through, but also because of what we saw taken from her growing up under the abuse of her father.
Like, can you imagine her sassing like this to Toedad? This is a man who hit her simply for not letting him murder a woman. If she were to snark dating practices with him, she’d be hiding a few new bruises the next day. So for her to feel safe enough at Leslie’s to do this?
Means a fuckton of a lot about her healing and recovery.
On one hand, I love seeing Becky and Joyce believe in how much love can do. Sometimes it’s true!
Other times though, it’s just not enough or it can keep people in toxic or abusive places. And it’s not half of the problem solver they’ve both been raised to believe it is.
I kinda want someone with more experience in that area that they’ll listen to (like Billie or Sal – I don’t think they’d believe Sarah, due to her cynicism) but I also kinda want them to hang onto that a bit longer.
I think it’s not necessarily a bad thing to believe in the power of the romantic for individuals who are alloromantic, but they’ll definitely need to shed their “you have to be in a relationship” junk and the overly invasive matchmakery way they can get.
I’m far more concerned about things like ‘love makes all problems disappear forever’ and ‘love is always always a good thing’. But yes, ‘you have to be in/want a relationship’ is definitely not a good thing either.
wait about Jason, how do T.A. jobs works in america? Because my friend here in Belgium is a T.A. right now and she’s a student doing her masters. So her dating other students wouldn’t be creeping right? Is Jason not a student?
Jason is most likely a grad student, which means that teaching is part of his paid duties, thus you have a big disparity in power, which makes a relationship very iffy. Jason dating boffing HIS OWN student is a big no-no however you slice it.
Leslie seem to be a full time teacher, so for her it would be even more inappropriate. As for your friend it is more of a Ruth/Billie situation. It is possible, but not uncomplicated.
The rule of thumb is that it IF there is a student/TA or even student/teacher relationship you have to be VERY clear on boundaries and rules of conducts. You should never be in a position to grade or otherwise influence the scores or marks of the person you date doodle, and given how bad the school is at setting up that kind of rule of conduct (seeing Penny as an example), there is no way dating a student would be a good idea under any circumstance.
Also depends how the school views TAs/RAs. For example, IU does not allow RAs to date their residents, but unlike a TA who has access to grades and ability to get students who aren’t their own in trouble even outside class (ex. If Jason had to break up a fight), an RA only really has authority over students and visitors actively on their floor. Ruth isn’t obligated to, say, break up a fight outside her floor the way Jason would be to break up a fight in a hall. So her dating is only an issue for her own residents. Jason dating any student is iffy and Leslie doing so is a big fat ‘Hell no’.
And that’s still only taking the basic formal regulations into account. There is also fundamental decency.
Leslie who tries to be a parental figure for her class, help them to open up, help them to discover parts of themselves, presenting herself as someone they can depend on if they need help (as seen with Joyce, for example)… yeah, no.
Her dad swerved the car around to shake Amazi-Girl off it and into the car behind, hit Becky when she grabbed the wheel to save Amazi-Girl, and promised to “put [her friends] in hell where they belong!”
I meant the shared ingraining of “hanky-panky” into vocab for to Joyce, Becky, and who-knows-who else in their church or social group.
(It could be well possible Joyce doesn’t know, or has never heard, the euphemism Becky uses in panel one about Leslie’s hair, or the original, or the meaning of the it.)
Is it me or are Leslie and Becky simulating being siblings pretty believably right now?
I also think that Becky’s story in panels 2 and 3 is probably autobiographical to her. That’s her, Joyce and Dina. From her face in panel 3, I conclude that she isn’t over Joyce and probably never will be. That’s sad in some ways; sweet in others.
It turns out Vivian has had a crush on Leslie for years, but hasn’t pursued it because Leslie has been carrying such a torch for Robin. Her interrupted initial conversation was her checking the waters to see how serious things were and thus how heartbroken she should be. /notactuallycanon
When Becky asked about hot coworkers, Leslie answered that the department head was a straight dude.
She didn’t address ANYONE ELSE IN THE DEPARTMENT. Despite the fact that the department head is probably the least appropriate person (aside from a student) for her to have a relationship with.
This, combined with her crush on a congresswoman, has me speculating (on little basis) that Leslie has an attraction to people in positions of power.
I just checked the IU Gender Studies department web page.
They list 12 core faculty, who are part of the department proper, and 55 affiliate faculty, who are in other departments but teach Gender Studies courses. But this appears to include only tenured faculty, so between lecturers and tenure-track faculty, it’s probably even larger.
FWIW, only two of the core faculty (neither one the chair) and seven of the affiliate faculty appear to be male.
I’m thinking that Becky’s welcome with Leslie is going to soon be wearing thin. This isn’t really her fault. She’s still trying to learn how to socialise properly with others outside family (because I think that the Browns were as good as family to her). That said, I’m not convinced that Leslie has the right temperament to deal with this.
I think Leslie is better equipped than most to deal with Becky, since she has gone through a similar ordeal herself. Even right now – in the fallout after Robin – she maintains control and nips Becky’s more wacky flights of fancy in the bud.
I also think it helps that Becky is remarkably good at improving her situation. In just a few weeks she built support, got a job, got her papers and got out from the unstable situation on campus. Give her a few more weeks and she will have a place to call her own as well. Leslie will have no trouble with a house guest in that time frame.
In addition, as I outlined above, I think Becky fills a real need for Leslie. She is the bratty teenage daughter Leslie might sadly never have. Borrowing one for a few weeks is not a bad thing.
That’s true but those parents generally have had those kids for a number of years so have gotten used to them (hopefully) whereas as Leslies getting a very sheltered, home schooled fundie teenager which sounds like a helluva tough gig to me
You know, you’re right! That might be an issue. Dina is very good at completely hiding her feelings but she does have a recognisable level of possessiveness towards Becky. She also clearly doesn’t like it when Joyce (rightly or wrongly) could be perceived as ‘interfering’.
I don’t think it’s a matter of Becky not being happy with Dina, it’s just that having carried that torch for so long, it still hurts a bit to think about, especially considering all the other stuff tangled up with it from how she ended up realizing she was in love with Joyce, and especially with how she ended up coming to IU.
That’s not the sort of thing that just evaporates overnight
One of my co-workers is in his thirties and single, and kinda private. And our boss thought it would be a good idea to say; “Well, we’ve got to find you a lady” or words to that effect. I was in the room and shut that shit right down. I reckon co-worker hears enough of that, and it ain’t nobody’s business.
I see it going down at my otherwise-nearly-progressive church, which annoys the hell out of me.
Being an inveterate heckler who’s been single forever because yay health and who has a long history there, I get to shut it down Becky style, viz, “How did he jump to the head of the queue?!”
(which nb is distraction rather than shutting down. distraction: public. shutting down: private.)
OK, so Daisy is a student there. But she’s not one of Leslie’s students. She’s an adult. And Leslie has already shown poor judgement. And this is not Smarting of Age.
I’m not saying it would be good. I’m just saying it’s possible.
Would it increase drama and/or heartbreak and/or hijinks? Probably. Thus, there’s a good chance Willis will do it.
So Becky is def still in love with Joyce. She should have mentioned her Anderson roommate though, I guess she was illustrating how much that question hurt her. (LOVE THE FLAVOR TEXT!)
I really really hope Leslie won’t meet Robin out there, but then who am I kidding…
We just need more adult lesbians/bi women in DoA or at least one more to match with Leslie who isn’t Robin.
The interesting thing is this is part of the reason for the drift from Women’s Studies to Gender Studies, because understanding how masculinity and heteronormativity is structured and enforced is a key part of understanding patriarchy and sexist and homophobic oppression as well as the suffering men get under systems of enforced toxic masculinity.
‘Straight dude’ could use a lot more breathing room. For me it’s more like a straight jacket. Stitched directly on to my skin by my family and school over years growing up, and I can’t seem to get it off.
Yup, toxic masculinity keeps “straight dude” as a tight cloistering cage that violently punishes anyone who steps outside. Opening that up and freeing alternate expressions of masculinity and straightness is a key component of making it safer for everyone and is a net good for society.
If a straight guy can wear a skirt without social condemnation or violence, it opens room for trans women to breathe without worrying that they’ll “pass” well enough to avoid violence.
If a straight guy doesn’t feel they need to violently reject anything “gay” for fear of association, then that reduces homophobic violence perpetuated by that rejection.
If a straight guy is free to be feminine or sensitive or in touch with emotions besides anger, it reduces violence or faux-objective bullshit.
Toxic masculinity hurts everyone, participants and outsiders alike and freeing folks from that can do a lot of good for society, which is why it’s often been a central part of feminism and why folks invested in patriarchal systems are so focused on making sure as few straight men as possible realize that.
A friend who once rocked multi-coloured nails is also the friend who stomps over online discussions of feminism because I DON’T SEE A PROBLEM WHY ISN’T THIS ABOUT US POOR DOWNTRODDEN GUYS?
Aww, Vulcanodon! You should get to wear nail polish if you want.
How he did it: he went to the dollar store and picked out a colour he liked. I know that isn’t what you mean. But, you can do it too if you want… or paint your toe nails! people can’t see them but you know they’re there.
Do you live in a place where painting your nails would be unsafe, or threaten your livelihood?
There’s a whole bunch of threads tying it together. Workplace is pretty hyper-masculine and at my age I can’t play games with my pension. My wife would be a definite no-go, and she instantly vetoed the jewel-studded eyeglass frames I modeled too. I think she knew I was not really joking, and that once I start exploring… There are also a million conditioned emotional things. But Butting has a good point, lot of people have it much worse.
I met with a bunch of students as a volunteer in a Human Library project event, and told them a story from my childhood, and encouraged them to try what they never felt at liberty earlier. To break the doors down now so they don’t get stuck behind dozens of doors later.
You’ve got it right. That is a real thing, and I have thought about what a relief it would be.
I look forward to visiting this site every day, and not only for the comics. Other people, somewhere, could accept a non-masculine man. That is a huge relief. I know I will be rejoicing when Jocelyn comes out. I just hope it doesn’t happen in an emergency room.
Cerberus’ comment about making space for trans women and reducing homophobic violence is an encouragement to keep trying to figure it out.
Anyway, thank you. And I should just let it go at that for now.
There is an anime, “Brother, dear Brother” in which a girl writes to her brother about her experiences in an ultra strict girl’s school. Makeup of any kind is -Forbidden-. But the bolder spirits paint -one- pinky nail bright red. So they can flaunt it. But hide it if Mme Javert appears.
Oh Becky, you so Joyce. It is not surprising home schooling and social indoctrination in the fundy lifestyle have messed with the head of a lesbian in an awfully similar way it has her straight bestie.
In a single semester:
-Amazi-Girl: aside from being the manifestation of an undiagnosed mental disorder, stalked, physically assaulted and threatened god knows how many students. That’s after giving her a pass for what happened to Blaine and Toedad and almost happened to Becky.
-Toedad: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, attempted abduction, endangered the lives of multiple students
-Ruth: One of, if not the, most violent and dysfunctional RAs in Indiana University’s history. Multiple acts of physical assault. Reinstated as RA barely a week after being fired for aforementioned offenses.
-Ryan: Attempted to sexually assault one student and then harm or kill several others
-Amber: Painted a dormitory’s windows with two coats of the motherfucker’s blood.
Because other than the gunman firing shots on campus, that’s actually not a huge amount of stuff to be happening at/around a campus if 38,000 students?
Not to mention that a lot of the things you mention went unreported, or aren’t things you’d shut anything down over, like Amber’s mental illness.
You would be disturbed and surprised by how much shit goes down on a daily typical basis at any school you would assume from the outside was hunky-dory. Suicide attempts, sexual assaults, violent assaults, armed robberies, gun violence, stalking, abuse, etc…
They just erase it all and expect the survivors to eat it and if they decide to make a fuss and report it, then the school systems and the general culture make life for that person who reported a living hell.
Like, the people who leaked out their rape or their harassment at a campus tend to have done so at great personal expense and often with little hope of their case going anywhere or doing any long-term good.
This all happening doesn’t raise this campus to “needs to be shut down”. This all happening is what normal looks like on the raggedy edges.
Of course, it’s my head canon that not only do the minor characters on this floor have just as much going on in their lives, but so does every other dorm on campus. We’re just focusing on one subset.
It’s in the nature of any show with an ensemble cast. Which is to say if this were a TV show I’d totally watch it as long as it didn’t have a laugh track.
I for some reason cannot get over how great Becky’s face in the first panel is. Can’t get nothin’ past her. She’s about to solve a mystery. A LESBIAN mystery.
Could be interesting if the storyline was to develop that due to extreme wackiness, age and perkiness, Becky turns out to be an annoying roomie and that Leslie has to deal with the reality of mentoring a baby gay as opposed to the fantasy
I love the “I’m not going to church” face. That is totally my face.
also *ouuuch* becky, you kinda forget how she still isnt really over Joyce wen you see her and Dina being all cute together. It would be nice if Leslie had a girlfriend who was so of unrelated to the main cast? I think that would be pretty interesting to see
Nice that these strips came out during pride month. im guessing intentionally? Smoothly done!
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which is where WE met Leslie
Isn’t it also where Joe met Rachel?
Something romantic about grocery stores, maybe.
Nothing says romance like a sale on skirt steak.
Willis is telling us about his own love life.
I think it’s very interesting that Joe, Rachel, and Carla all live on the same floor…
Someday they’ll all get stuck doing a science project together, maybe autonomous car technology…
It’s an evil genius conspiracy in the making
“Waitasec, why am I wasting my time with drugs and surgery, when I could simply upload myself into this SWEET ROBOT BODY??”
With any luck, Robin will be there buying Cadbury Creme eggs and milk to cheer herself up after her campaign fell apart
Out of season. The best Robin can do is Hallowwen candy. Pumpkin Spice everything.
Cadbury Creme eggs have gotten to be always in season, in my experience.
They make a Halloween Cadbury Egg! The wrapper’s different and the fondant yolk is green instead of yellow, but they taste the same.
Yup..
Cadbury Scream Eggs
With any bad luck, I’d say. DOA Robin has definitely run out the goodwill I had towards her from SP, and then some.
It’s not even that she’s changed terribly much, just that the setting has.
It’s a nice callback.
Just in time for Pride Month: How to Lez. By a baby dyke. It’s cute but probably annoying to Leslie…
That sounds just like teaching the fresh college graduate at work how things actually work outside the Ideal Physics Land of textbooks. There’s no teacher quite like experience, and Leslie has plenty to share.
Advanced Lesbian Physics.
Leslie’s yeah im not going to church face is exactly like mine.
Mine’s less passively-grumpy and more confrontational.
Mine would be if I wasn’t so low-key about how against my Southern Baptist upbringing I am, based on how religious where I am living is.
Mine’s gotten less bitter and angry than when I was younger and much more of a snarky atheist, but yeah, it’s very much like Leslie’s here. Like, yeah, no. That’s not happening. Best of luck to you and the missus as well.
lol yes
I love that les didn’t really question that dating plan except the church part
It was the obvious weak link in the chain.
have we met any single ladies around leslies age?
Other than Robin?
…Jocelyn? Could be cute
I don’t do this often but
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE
And further on the plus side, John would do ANYTHING to get away. Heh.
Time for the Leslyn ship to set sail! <3
I don’t know how old Leslie is, but maybe Daisy? Since she’s running the newspaper, she’s presumably a couple years older than most of the cast. Maybe a senior, and 22.
Still technically a student, but probably too old to be one of Leslie’s, anyway.
“Still a student” is the key phrase there. Teachers should not be dating students.
I’m imagining Daisy taking on additional coursework in an attempt to graduate early just to be eligible.
“Gosh, Leslie, I’d do anything to get into your class…”
Casting around time (pun intended): If Daisy is a senior will she be going to grad school? What do student newspaper editors at a big U with a School of Journo* do, typically?
(Asking anyone, not singling you out.)
*It’s now the School of Media at IU, sometime between them first DofA strip and now.
Leslie said she’s got a decade on Becky in this very strip. Becky’s 18, so that puts Leslie in the range of 28yo or so.
Nope. And almost all of the ancillary cast are college students, so she’s definitely low on options in that fourth-wall-breaking assessment of things. Like, Lia is right, the only cast member kind of in that category by age is Jocelyne who is likely 23-24, maybe even 25, but Jocelyne is most likely straight.
So outside a new character popping up, I think Leslie is unlikely to be dating anyone anytime soon.
I think it would be both hilarious and adorable if Leslie hit up a relationship with a new character (with or without Becky’s help) and we got to see almost nothing of it, just her coming home with a big grin and Becky asking if the date went well, getting a high five in return.
Becky: “So how did it go?”
Leslie: “I asked her why her hair was that color, and then she asked me my mine was its color. Then I tolder that my body is actually a conscious manifestation of light, and she said, ‘I know how that is,’ although *chortles* I highly doubt it.”
Becky: “I have no idea what you just said.”
Leslie: “Then I have something very important to show you.”
HEADCANON!!!!
Unless explicitly told otherwise, I will from now on assume that exactly that happened.
“You are not one person. You are not two people. You. Are. An EXPERIENCE. Go and make it the best experience you can.”
YES
Petition to transfer myself to the DoA universe in order to date Leslie
i’ll sign it fella
Your avatar is pretty much perfect for this comment.
Provided I can be pulled back out again….
…..
…..
…. bring me out after my money’s real value has quadrupled from interest. It should take only a month or two of comic time.
i volunteer to date leslie
*plays the “Meet Me At FOOD LION” jingle on the stereo*
Wee~ooo~wee~ooo~ooo
Is Food Lion related to Piggly Wiggly?
And a distant cousin to the Giant Eagle.
Supermarkets are low-key weird.
and the now extinct Red Owl. Unsure why we buy food at places named after animals we wouldn’t eat.
Hrm… would you buy groceries from a place called Brown Cow? Or Pink Chicken?
Better than Green Fuzzy Chicken.
If Piggly Wiggly was baked in a trench or BBQed, I’d have no problem with the eating.
Other than Robin?
…Jocelyn? Could be cute
oh whoops meant to reply
I think word of god has confirmed Jocelyn as straight.
And Jocelyn described herself in-comic as “actually not gay”, so there’s that as well.
Well, there’s always bi/pan. But *sighs* Willis’ word is God, so there’s another dream deferred.
“I’m the experienced lesbian. I’m going to be the teacher”
“Not if I make myself the teacher.”
Maybe the cashier will be nice *hint hint*
Aaaand that explains Becky’s mentality all these years, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me since it’s a good summary of what I’ve seen so far. Still, I don’t think it makes her all that great at being a wingwoman. 😛
Like Joyce, she has a very unrealistic idea of relationships from bad romance movies and will likely have to clear out some of that garbage as she navigates what relationships are actually like.
I’ve heard that, when you come out of the closet (or nuke it from orbit), and start seeking relationships that you really want, you’re basically 14, no matter what your real age is. You haven’t practiced any of the skills involved or dismantled any assumptions or anything and have zero idea how this even works.
Becky is lucky, she was only a few years behind and is very rapidly catching up… but sometimes, she’s gonna be 14. 🙂
(On the other hand, it’s not like the other characters know any better, and Becky/Dina are easily the healthiest couple in the comic, so, ymmv.)
And now I’m imagining a PG version of Silence of the Lambs.
“Would you hanky-panky me? I’d hanky-panky me. I’d hanky-panky me hard.”
Becky, don’t irritate, exasperate, frustrate, or enrage the roof over your head.
*whispers* Leslie and Jocelyne???
Unfortunately, Jocelyne’s not into ladies. (As much as it pains me to write that, because irl Jocelyne would be, like, my ideal girlfriend *sigh*)
Going off ladies we know are into other ladies, a lot of ladies are out
Dina, Billie, Ruth, Grace, Mandy, Malaya, Sierra, Carla, and Daisy are all students and are thus out of the question. I imagine she’d not be enthused about dating any 18 year olds actually, due to the gap in life experiences, so Marcie would be out too. Robin’s out because she’s an asshole. I think that kinda blows through all of the ones we know thus far. I guess one of the noobs is gonna have to be Leslie’s option if she pursues any relationships.
Mindy looks like she might not be a student.
And while I not sure whether Nash is or not, something about her makes me like her already
Yep! Hopefully at least one newbie will be a non-student in a similar life stage.
Mindy definitely looks potentially likely.
Wait, when was Carlas sexual preference established?
I believe it’s established by word of god/the cross-universe consistency rule. Carla is asexual homoromantic.
It’s established by Willis’s statement early on of everyone having the same sexuality as in the other universe, where her counterpart, Ultra-Car, was in a long-term romantic relationship with another woman (Malaya). (She’s also asexual.)
Also, while she was kinda vague, Carla
mentioned thinking girls were cute at one point
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/spilled/
Over in the Walkyverse. Sexuality is always the same across universes. So any updated information we get in DoA (like Becky is a lesbian, Danny is bi) is also retroactively canon there, and anything explicit from there (ex. Ruth is bi) is canon here.
wait wait, how do we know Jocelyne is not into ladies?? I remember she said to Ethan something like “You’re gay? I’m not, actually”, but, like, let me just put it this way, if you asked Billy if she was gay she would also say she wasn’t. Was there any other evidence on Jocelyne’s orientation?
Unlike with Billie – who only said she wasn’t a lesbian, which is true as she’s bisexual – we’ve been given absolutely no reason to question Jocelyn when she said she wasn’t straight.
Like, there had been multiple Slipshine comics of Billie and Ruth banging before that strip. We’ve never seen Jocelyn show the slightest interest in another woman.
*damnit, when she said she was straight
I vote them for being platonic girlfriends by day, guerilla magaziners by night.
Oh, can those eyes get any bigger in panel 3? Poor Becky, she’d been dreaming about this for literal years.
Something I just thought of, could Becky have been Joyce’s first kiss?
No, she’s kissed Ethan before.
Joyce only kisses gay people. If she had a first kiss in kindergarten, it turns out he’s gay too.
I’d make a snide comment, but I haven’t had a date in years, so I don’t have much of a leg to stand on.
No. BAD Becky. We do not encourage ethics violations in teachers! *sprays her*
I just found out that there are single cell organisms which reproduce sexually. Holy shit, that’s awesome! Why wasn’t I told this in school? We only learned about cells splitting and duplicating themselves there.
This doesn’t have anything to do with the comic, but hot damn! Single cell organisms have sex!
Alt-text: But what if it IS?
…..
…. I might have less of a love life than Leslie.
…. how did this end up as a reply to this comment rather than its own thread?
Demon magic?
That’s less of a cupcake and more of a sodomuffin
Did Joyce even invite/introduce Dina? I got the impression that she was just a hanger-on
No, she invited Dina. Dina was excited about being on the list.
Becky’s still in a little delusional state of mind, which is fine cause she’s young and enthusiastic and optimistic for herself and I’m very proud of her. But the same rules against student-teacher fraternization still apply to non-straight people. Since she’s an excited freshman it’s not so bad but she’ll definitely be wanting some guidance before too long, which Dina and Leslie are definitely going to provide.
I dont know why I delineated on this topic for so long but there you go
I’m surprised there’s rules against dating college age students who aren’t in your class. Then again, I’m always leery of attempts to regulate the personal lives of adults.
It varies from institution to institution, and some instructors have tighter (or looser) rules than what the university itself dictates.
Teachers talk and can influence each outer, just because you aren’t dating your teacher doesn’t mean it(You dating a teacher at your school) wont/can’t effect your grade with outer teachers.
Hence the rather strict rules.
And teachers can enforce the rules for students at the school they teach at. For instance, if Leslie saw two people fighting in the halls she’d probably be obligated to at least try to break it up before someone broke something. Or if she found out Becky was rooming in Billie’s room – she could definitely get in trouble with her boss for not reporting that someone is living on school resources without paying.
I dunno, neither of those is the job of the professors and, particularly w.r.t. a fight, I’d put good money on the actual protocol being to not intervene but to call campus police. Safety of the workforce.
If she found out about Becky squatting at the school, I’m fairly sure she’d be expected to report it and I can’t imagine she’d not catch hell if her boss found out she didn’t. It is on professors to enforce university rules, whatever protocol for that is.
Since Leslie teaches the concept of consent and power in relationships, she might have personal boundaries that a physics professor doesn’t.
Also, I’m 33, and people younger than 28 look like fresh faces babies to me. Leslie probably wouldn’t be interested in anyone under 24 even if they weren’t her students.
Becky isn’t currently a student, but she wants to enroll once she’s on the financial footing to do so.
That said, Leslie is at a different stage in her life. She might not feel right with someone so much younger, even if they weren’t at all tied to IU. Generally by the time you’re in your late 20s, and you’ve lived independently off a steady job for a few years, you have a different perspective and don’t feel like you have much in common with those who are college-age and younger anymore. (Of course this varies for everyone.)
Leslie, you could meet Sierra’s older sister at church! I mean, it’s not like you have had a traumatic experience with organized religion that has permanently turned yo…oh right.
Challenge the gender studies head to the position in an academic-themed fight while dressed as Xena. That will surely earn Leslie some admirers.
And Becky can dress up as Gwenpool! 😀
She’s so a Gwenpool.
As an atheist, church is one of the last places I’d go to find women I might want to date.
amen to THAT
Halleluja!
— But it’s still on the list?
Look, when you’ve exhausted all other options…
… you go UU.
Fifteen YEARS?! Um, isn’t there a method for finding a nice, compatible partner that doesn’t take longer than earning two or three PhD’s?
Finding a partner is more complicated then getting a response from the government.
Getting a response from the government is EASY!
…. so long as you’re not picky about whether the part of the government that responds happens to be armed.
Correction, getting a response from the government that is in your favor.
not when you’re in elementary school, i’m guessing
(i think becky is mainly talking about her crush on joyce here)
BECKY :C
“Or potential students”
Isn’t Becky a potential student, is Les implying some hidden desire? 🙂
I ship it all the way!
No. No. No.
She’s stating revulsion at the very idea of crossing that professional boundary
Yup. Like, that’s such a firm line for a teacher, it’s not even funny. Like, even just reading this strip where it’s discussed as a possibility, I feel a deep physical revulsion and like my skin is crawling. And this is a fictional depiction where Leslie is maintaining that strong boundary. It is that not okay.
I think she’s talking about hypothetical twenty-something non-students hanging out on/near campus – who may not be students in fact but they’re “potentially” students enough so that she shouldn’t be hitting on them.
Not every denial has to be some shallow veil over a person’s true desires or whatever. Contrary to certain media outlets, people have the capacity to mean what they say and say what they mean
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: Oh Becky, boundaries.
Also people can totally have “do me” hair and not be actively looking for someone. Dressing sexy or trying out a new style can be a confidence-building activity. Plus, y’know, the context of Leslie’s last attempt at trying to be sexy and putting herself out there and how disastrously that went for her.
Panel 2: But I like how Leslie just rolls with it and banters back, knowing that Becky is just being over-eager in her attempt to “earn her keep”. Like her eyebrows betray that she’s not flipping this back on Becky maliciously, but rather as an attempt to reassert the dynamic she’d prefer, where she’s just a sort of surrogate mom/older mentor figure giving her a stable place to live.
Where that will surely backfire is Becky most certainly has seen those “wacky shenanigan” movies where the kids work hard to get their dry spell parent back on the dating scene to find true love.
Panels 2-3: This is legitimately heart-breaking of a mask drop and shows how Leslie’s playful flip nonetheless hit some real exposed nerves. Becky is trying hard to present confidence, but part of the reason she is gaga for trying to be “pay her keep” to Leslie and went on her “teach me the ways of the lesbian, sensei” kick is that she doesn’t know how to be gay.
Like, she doesn’t actually need to know anything to be gay as there is not just one way to be queer, but she lacks any real purchase on community or dynamics. And that’s not uncommon for baby queers. A lot of us have probably been at that point where we have no idea where to go to look safely for potential dates or how to access community and resources or what we can do to signal to other folks that “yes, I’m queer”.
Becky is completely at a loss of the normative means of getting a girlfriend and the only method she has, the only method that has worked for her so far is actually pretty normative, but is somewhat tinged in the circumstances that created it.
Meeting a friend of a friend at a party and hitting it off is not uncommon. And Becky loves Dina with all her heart. But that party was a bittersweet attempt to create a safe space for healing for Joyce after her near-rape and involved her spending a lot of the night struggling with how her feelings for Joyce weren’t just going away even though she was rejected.
And here we see the depth of all of this and how much Becky has to mourn to move on. Joyce wasn’t just her first crush, she was the woman she loved and fantasized for years about and who she went to first when everything was falling apart and she’s still her best friend. She’ll need to get over that as no one owes anyone reciprocation for feelings of attraction, but it’s going to take time and probably crafting a space for her to mourn the possible future she let herself get invested in.
To be fair, Leslie DID get her “do me” hair because she was looking for a relationship.
…. it’s just that “do me do” is about 5 days out of date.
It’s a temporally displaced “do”.
So it’s a “did”.
….. erm, acronym-adjacency entirely accidental.
Theoretically, but we won’t know for certain until we collapse the “do” waveform.
Well if you want to bring coiftum physics into it…
Extra heartbreaking given how important community has been for Becky and Joyce their entire upbringing. Becky may have kept God but she has lost the church, and she is desperate for something to replace it.
*nods intensely* Which is why well this entire dynamic she’s trying to set up with Leslie. She sees Leslie as the entry point in a replacement community and well… she’s not wrong that the queer community is forged by the dispossessed, but I don’t think it’ll exactly look like what she’s used to as it’s not very church-like.
It’d probably help (at least to establish some sort of familiar setting) if she could find a nearby, queer-friendly church, but she might not be aware that such a beast is possible.
It also might not be – the nearby restriction is potentially pretty strict (Becky doesn’t seem to own any vehicles, and the public transportation situation in Indiana is a disgrace), and given that the city is in Indiana queer-friendly churches are a bit thin on the ground.
Does anyone know how to have a reasonable fucking conversation with someone who refuses to chill the fuck out and stop being hostile about every fucking thing you say? I’m about to lose my fucking mind, and my laptop’s screen has already been punched clean off the hinges. I’m trying to keep talking and steer things to a calmer state, but it’s not working and I refuse to give up on this.
Ask them: “Would you like some space?” Without knowing the situation in detail, I can’t offer more than that. I mean, I don’t know what’s making them hostile, I don’t know if it is any of your or my business, and I don’t know if you’re talking to defend yourself from someone who just punched your laptop.
If it’s the last one, consider locking yourself in another room while you skype for help.
The laptop was my doing. Unfortunately, trying to end the conversation will actually make things even worse than they already are, when I come back. I’ve repeatedly asked what the initial trigger for this hostility was, and gotten “Figure it out yourself” every single time. There was another argument last night, but amends were in the process of being made, so I don’t understand what caused the (from my perspective) sudden reversal.
Well, I don’t know exactly. Maybe the trigger itself isn’t important. “I apologize for causing this, if I did. If not, I apologize for making it worse, if I did. If I can do anything to make it better, I would like to. But I can’t figure this out on my own, and I understand if you’re not up to helping me, since you are in emotional hurt.”
At least, that’s what I would say if I were rational all the time, around angry people I tend to get defensive and reflective, myself.
I’ll keep this under advisement. And I have a similar reaction to anger from other people. Since I have trouble reading people, I often have no idea what caused their anger, so I’m stuck on the defensive.
*supportive gesture*
I’m not sure what more to suggest, but you were friendly when I was upset a little while ago, so I want to reciprocate in some way. HTH.
It may be best to try to disengage and say you’ll talk with them once they have calmed down and will tell you what actually happened because you can’t apologise sincerely or try to make things better if you don’t know what you actually did.
It sounds like ending the conversation and picking it up later after you’ve both had a chance to cool off is the best option, if it’s not something you absolutely MUST talk about right now
You can’t brute-force your way to understanding, not even metaphorically. Resist the urge to dig in your heels.
That just leads to “why are you bringing this up again” – probably the only even halfway viable option is to try to get a neutral third party to mediate, and even that’s not guaranteed. Otherwise just drop it forever and hope that the hostility isn’t permanent when you try to have a normal conversation the next day / next week.
…maybe…something that might help…is taking a breath and reminding yourself that you are only responsible for your emotions and reactions.
you can’t control anybody else’s. you can only ever sit in your own body and own your own choices. you can only work with whatever it is that you have. and i mean it definitely seems like you are putting a lot of work into this! but like it’s work put into trying to reconcile with someone who seems to be having a hard time communicating with you.
you don’t have to stick around someplace where someone is angry at you and won’t explain why. and, i mean, maybe they have good reasons for that, who knows. but if there are extended passive-aggressive hostilities, i think you’re probably beyond the point of reasonable conversation. and if they want you to just figure out why they’re upset yourself, then i think it’s super reasonable to just take a step back and…not deal with it
i mean, i don’t know, maybe it’s the sort of thing where if you step back things will become clearer. or maybe it’s the sort of thing where if you step back you start to let go. in either case, whatever decision you end up making is probably going to be the correct one for you, as long as you’re not unfair to the other person.
idk emotions are neither reasonable or logical, really
Situation stable.
For now.
Until you fuck it up again, dumbass. Face it, you’ll just make the whole thing worse than it already was. I honestly don’t know how you managed to keep the relationship up this long. It seems like every couple of months, you’re causing a complete meltdown, and let’s just be honest here, it’s always entirely your own fault. Yeah, “Situation stable.”, my ass. We both know one wrong word is going to set everything off again, and then where will you be? Hopefully alone, like you deserve, you complete fucking lunatic. You’re fucking disgusting.
Dude, no. Don’t talk about yourself like that.
You’re trying your best in what’s clearly a bad situation.
You have value, even on your own. Even if this relationship ends. Don’t go selling yourself short by calling yourself a failure, especially for something that hasn’t happened.
You had it right before. You don’t have to stick around if this relationship is hurting you. You don’t need to be a perfect shining angel to deserve better, or for your own needs to be important of your mental health to be worth protecting.
Okay so, uh… I went to sleep around noon (it would show as about 1:00, on here). And I always remember if I’ve woken up, even just for the bathroom. So, unless I woke up, turned on my laptop, entered my password, specifically opened this site, searched for my own post, typed up some weak trash talk, and then somehow forgot all of it…? Starting to think that wasn’t “Me” typing, if you catch my drift. This had better be an isolated incident.
I’m glad to see you haven’t fallen into self loathing like that.
But if your girlfriend wrote that then she isn’t worth your time. You deserve better than someone who hurts you.
I can confirm that she did not write it.
Most likely you woke up, wrote it groggily, fell back to sleep quickly, and your brain interpreted this short sleep-interruption as a dream, so that it erased it along with your other dreams in the morning. That’s very common, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Unfortunately, I doubt that’s the case. As I said, I always remember if I’ve woken up, even just for a brief moment. Typing that would require more than enough time and focus for me to have a vivid memory of it. The only thing I can think of that would account for the lack of memory is sleepwalking or some sort of dissociative incident, only one of which has ever happened to me before. I’d love to think you’re right about this, but it doesn’t fit.
How do you know that you always remember? By definition, you wouldn’t remember any rare times that you forgot, right?
Okay.
Your worst case scenarios are:
1) Your girlfriend or someone else did it. Though you seem to have ruled out your girlfriend (I’ll just trust that you’re right and have checked all ways she could have) and I don’t know if there is anyone else who could have. If there is, check if they could have done so.
2) You were sleepwalking. Stress can cause sleepwalking and since you have recently been fighting, you may have done so and let out subconscious anger you have at yourself for how your relationship frequently seems unstable.
Working on your communication skills as a couple or going to couple’s counseling may alleviate this by making it easier to reconcile problems and prevent meltdowns in the future – the usage of key words may be something you find helpful to express emotions and moods without having an entire conversation or lashing out at each other.
3) You had a singular dissociative episode that was similar to above, but rather than being asleep, you were awake and just disconnected from yourself leaving no memory of the event in question. Again, this would likely be caused by stress, particularly as you were fighting with your girlfriend recently.
4) You have a dissociative condition of some kind, and it is only coming to your attention now. Not necessarily DID, though that is a possibility as it can actually be a surprisingly subtle condition for some people.
5) You have a different condition, however, one of the possible symptoms is dissociation which has emerged because of your recent stress.
6) Someone hacked your Gravatar account and decided the best use of their time was to use your own account to insult you for some reason???
7) If you have taken any medications recently, they may have caused a side-effect of sleepwalking or a dissociative episode.
The most important thing to do is stay calm as it is more likely to be a one time thing, and once the stress is adequately reduced, it may not occur again.
If you are worried that it will be patternistic, you may want to purchase a camera of some kind so that you can record yourself sleeping as a way to monitor yourself.
Next panel: Becky helps Leslie pick up women in the grocery store. “First you have to buy LESBIAN food like… tacco??? I’m new to this, OK”
No food yet exists which is not instantly improved by either adding taco seasoning or inserting it into a crunchy tortilla shell.
Applesauce.
….. though I am now wondering what latkes would taste like with taco seasoning.
Applesauce would make an excellent taco topping, I don’t know what you’re on about. That technically counts as cramming it into the shell.
Ooookay then…. *cracks knuckles*
…. jawbreakers.
Crunch one up, and you’ve got a nice sweetener for your meat, if that’s your thing. A taco-flavored jawbreaker would probably sell, too, under the right conditions. Who needs kinda-fruit-but-not-really, when you could have a flavor everyone can recognise without needing a colorful coating to trick them?
A large wad of very sticky fruity bubblegum.
A very strong peppermint milkshake.
Peanutbutter-jelly sandwich. (Boysenberry jelly.)
I don’t know, have you tried it? I have a thing of taco seasoning, I might buy applesauce the next time I go to the store.
You could be the hero humankind needs. For science.
But not the one we deserve.
Scots Porridge…
Oooph. Panel 3. That hits me right in the feels.
that third panel hurt me. oh becky…
Panel 4: And there’s confirmation that this Universe’s Leslie has a similar view to religion as her other universe counterpart, which makes sense. It’s hard to look back positively on a religion or culture that brought you so much pain. And for Leslie, that pain was massive. She lost her family, her home. She was left on the streets with nothing, but a hateful religion and no rights. Like if we assume she went on the streets at 18, then in current universe, that was 2007. That was the year of Prop 8, before the massive pushback where states started falling like dominoes in service to queer rights and where the bigot groups were crowing happily about their complete dominance of the political arena (much like they are about trans rights these days).
And if she ended up on the streets in her teens, that could put that time at 2005 or 2006 when there was a potential we could hav seen a literal constitutional amendment banning the recognition of our relationships as valid.
All in the name of a religion she was raised in. Which rejected her. Becky may be able to look past that and retain her faith in a God above who loves her, but Leslie clearly has not and that’s absolutely okay.
Also, I like this interaction, because yeah, it’s Becky still bad boundary pushing her towards dating, but it’s asked rather than told and it’s not a bad guess at a place to meet people. Like, most people run screaming in the other way at dating coworkers, but I know a fair few who met on a job and got together shortly after one of them left.
And there’d be less of a taboo on that in the University, especially as I remember my own Gender Studies and Literature classes in college being taught by a web of teachers in various relationships with each other.
I think Leslie and Becky will be very good for each other, not only because they are similar and have shared experiences, but because they will challenge each other in ways that needs to be challenged.
Becky is bad at boundaries and bad at knowing when to play it subtle (she is not bad at PLAYING it subtle, but she doesn’t want to). There are situations that won’t improve by shouting that you are a lesbian, and Leslie can help her navigate those situations.
Leslie is bad at setting boundaries* and bad at acting as an authority figure, and having to be an adult for Becky will force her to be a bit stricter. It will also keep her focused on what is important. If she can help just one teenage queer person off the street she has made the world better in a way that matters.
On a deeper level… there is a world of obstacles before Leslie if she will ever have children, and if she is anything like her shortpacked-counterpart we know that she longs for it. And Becky can be her bratty teenage daughter, at least for a while. As for Becky, having a queer mother figure, if only for a while, would do something to heal the wound that is still fresh from when Bonnie died.
They will also drive each other nuts and it will be fun watching it.
*) I’m not talking about the Robin fiasco – that was all Robin ignoring boundaries rather than Leslie not setting them. But her interaction with her students, especially Roz, would improve if she acknowledged her authority.
“They will also drive each other nuts and it will be fun watching it.”
Yup
There’s a lot of bitterness in Leslie’s statement about the Gender Studies head being a straight dude.
I wonder how awful he is.
He might just be sort of clueless, if he’s got negative traits at all. She may just be telling Becky “Oh, believe me, I would if it were an option.”
The Dumbiverse’s version of Bart O’Ryan? Or Dargon?
Maybe he’s decent but she’s just unhappy about how the higher-ups appointed a buddy-buddy rather than a department insider? ….
…. no, wait, that’s not where department heads come from. When the position opened up and they started looking for someone with tenure and experience to put their research on hold to do bureaucracy instead, he’s the guy who ran away the slowest.
Panel 5: I also love this panel. That look of pure disgust and almost horror on Leslie’s face at Becky’s suggestion is exactly what a proper decent teacher’s response to that sort of suggestion should be. Like the idea of dating someone who’s a student or in that same general population as a student is something that leads a decent non-creepy teacher to vomit.
And I love how firmly Leslie states that boundary here. Like, fuck no, no amount of desperation will ever make that okay. And it’s probably a point of frustration for her given that she lives in a college town, so the general queer resources or clubs are likely filled with students or potential students and it’s not like there’s an easy to reach other queer-community-rich area she can pop over to like queer teachers in more metropolitan areas do*.
*My greatest fear is going to a specific type of community event and bumping into a current or former student.
But I also love Becky here. Her eyebrows betray that this wasn’t intended maliciously, just like Leslie’s teasing earlier. Like, she recognizes that she doesn’t have the secular outlets she could think of (cause Becky likely has zero idea that queer bars are even a thing) but honestly intended this as a “there there, at least you have…” thing.
Panel 6: But she also misses Leslie’s point entirely, which makes sense. She’s young and in a “liberal mecca” where she can see hot women all around and be herself and some of them are even open about being women who love women. Plus, she’s a big believer in the transformative power of love.
But that doesn’t mean everyone who loves women is in a headspace where they want to date or is actively seeking a relationship and people can have firm boundaries of who they are willing to consider as a potential partner.
And being young, Becky has probably not had much opportunity to consider the creep factor of an older person “preying on” younger folks, especially ones potentially under her charge and instruction and the fear of fitting in that creep factor.
Also, heck, on top of the visceral ick, there’s also the fact that queer teachers are not allowed any latitude on this shit. A creeper like Jason or Penny getting caught might disgrace them, but likely wouldn’t lead to their termination. Leslie, if she were to be a creeper?
Not only would she be shit-canned and turned into enemy numero uno, she’d also be the running chyron on Fox News for the next year as a symbol of corrupt liberal lesbians preying on your kids. Hell, even just adopting Becky as she has is likely to earn her a few question marks she’ll have to deal with.
But yeah, that’s definitely a “we’re done with this conversation” moment. Which is unfortunate, because the last thing Leslie needs is someone trying to push her towards a relationship given what happened with Robin, but I like the compare and contrast here. Where Robin was creepy, destructive, and manipulative and Becky is well-meaning, but naive and kind of bratty teenager.
And I like that Becky is feeling safe enough in this space and herself to snark and be a bit of a bratty teen, sassing back about straight food and how the olds don’t get dating really cute dinosaur-loving 18-year-olds. It’s such a normative thing for her to get, and it’s nice to see not only because of what she’s been through, but also because of what we saw taken from her growing up under the abuse of her father.
Like, can you imagine her sassing like this to Toedad? This is a man who hit her simply for not letting him murder a woman. If she were to snark dating practices with him, she’d be hiding a few new bruises the next day. So for her to feel safe enough at Leslie’s to do this?
Means a fuckton of a lot about her healing and recovery.
On one hand, I love seeing Becky and Joyce believe in how much love can do. Sometimes it’s true!
Other times though, it’s just not enough or it can keep people in toxic or abusive places. And it’s not half of the problem solver they’ve both been raised to believe it is.
I kinda want someone with more experience in that area that they’ll listen to (like Billie or Sal – I don’t think they’d believe Sarah, due to her cynicism) but I also kinda want them to hang onto that a bit longer.
I think it’s not necessarily a bad thing to believe in the power of the romantic for individuals who are alloromantic, but they’ll definitely need to shed their “you have to be in a relationship” junk and the overly invasive matchmakery way they can get.
I’m far more concerned about things like ‘love makes all problems disappear forever’ and ‘love is always always a good thing’. But yes, ‘you have to be in/want a relationship’ is definitely not a good thing either.
Yup. Leslie has been a bit hit and miss with boundries with her students, but this is a line she will not cross.
wait about Jason, how do T.A. jobs works in america? Because my friend here in Belgium is a T.A. right now and she’s a student doing her masters. So her dating other students wouldn’t be creeping right? Is Jason not a student?
Jason is most likely a grad student, which means that teaching is part of his paid duties, thus you have a big disparity in power, which makes a relationship very iffy. Jason
datingboffing HIS OWN student is a big no-no however you slice it.Leslie seem to be a full time teacher, so for her it would be even more inappropriate. As for your friend it is more of a Ruth/Billie situation. It is possible, but not uncomplicated.
The rule of thumb is that it IF there is a student/TA or even student/teacher relationship you have to be VERY clear on boundaries and rules of conducts. You should never be in a position to grade or otherwise influence the scores or marks of the person you
datedoodle, and given how bad the school is at setting up that kind of rule of conduct (seeing Penny as an example), there is no way dating a student would be a good idea under any circumstance.Also depends how the school views TAs/RAs. For example, IU does not allow RAs to date their residents, but unlike a TA who has access to grades and ability to get students who aren’t their own in trouble even outside class (ex. If Jason had to break up a fight), an RA only really has authority over students and visitors actively on their floor. Ruth isn’t obligated to, say, break up a fight outside her floor the way Jason would be to break up a fight in a hall. So her dating is only an issue for her own residents. Jason dating any student is iffy and Leslie doing so is a big fat ‘Hell no’.
And that’s still only taking the basic formal regulations into account. There is also fundamental decency.
Leslie who tries to be a parental figure for her class, help them to open up, help them to discover parts of themselves, presenting herself as someone they can depend on if they need help (as seen with Joyce, for example)… yeah, no.
“This is a man who hit her simply for not letting him murder a woman.” what? what is this referring to?
Her dad swerved the car around to shake Amazi-Girl off it and into the car behind, hit Becky when she grabbed the wheel to save Amazi-Girl, and promised to “put [her friends] in hell where they belong!”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/restore/
Oh I see, I saw that scene more as him being angry at being defied than actively trying to kill Amber
I hate to be that guy but were Leslie’s boobs that big the whole time? It was a bit distracting and at first I didn’t know why.
Anyway, carry on with the feels.
Dunno, let’s ask Joe and Walky
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/cleavaging/
Apparently Leslie has a selection of clothing and/or undergarments which say “hanky-panky me”.
I want to know how old Becky and Joyce were when that term was ingrained into them.
Do you mean “hanky-panky” or “hanky-panky me”?
‘Cos pretty sure that the latter is Becky’s own creation. They wouldn’t be encouraged to think of sex as something of choice, but of duty.
(*shivers the yuck away*. also, grateful for New Hank.)
Oops, my wording was confusing.
I meant the shared ingraining of “hanky-panky” into vocab for to Joyce, Becky, and who-knows-who else in their church or social group.
(It could be well possible Joyce doesn’t know, or has never heard, the euphemism Becky uses in panel one about Leslie’s hair, or the original, or the meaning of the it.)
Weren’t push up bras involved there? Or maybe Les tends to constrain the girls while at work.
When Galasso implied she looked androgynous in SP she said she had c-cups so that may carry over from verse-to-verse.
Man, that look on her face in Panel 4.
Is it me or are Leslie and Becky simulating being siblings pretty believably right now?
I also think that Becky’s story in panels 2 and 3 is probably autobiographical to her. That’s her, Joyce and Dina. From her face in panel 3, I conclude that she isn’t over Joyce and probably never will be. That’s sad in some ways; sweet in others.
Leslie: What do you even know about where to go to pick up women?
Me: I see your point, but one of the women in this strip has a girlfriend and isn’t sexuality frustrated, and it’s not you. So…
I’m shipping Leslie and Vivian.
It turns out Vivian has had a crush on Leslie for years, but hasn’t pursued it because Leslie has been carrying such a torch for Robin. Her interrupted initial conversation was her checking the waters to see how serious things were and thus how heartbroken she should be. /notactuallycanon
The Alt-text killed me
….. I just realized something.
When Becky asked about hot coworkers, Leslie answered that the department head was a straight dude.
She didn’t address ANYONE ELSE IN THE DEPARTMENT. Despite the fact that the department head is probably the least appropriate person (aside from a student) for her to have a relationship with.
This, combined with her crush on a congresswoman, has me speculating (on little basis) that Leslie has an attraction to people in positions of power.
Leslie and Vivian sitting in a tree…
Just to rain on your parade, maybe the Gender Studies department is just really small. 😛
I just checked the IU Gender Studies department web page.
They list 12 core faculty, who are part of the department proper, and 55 affiliate faculty, who are in other departments but teach Gender Studies courses. But this appears to include only tenured faculty, so between lecturers and tenure-track faculty, it’s probably even larger.
FWIW, only two of the core faculty (neither one the chair) and seven of the affiliate faculty appear to be male.
I was pretty sure that the home of the Kinsley Institute wouldn’t have a small gender studies department. Thanks for looking up the numbers.
You might be right there… Quick, someone page Renee Montoya or Maggie Sawyer stat! She needs a cute lesbian cop.
I’m thinking that Becky’s welcome with Leslie is going to soon be wearing thin. This isn’t really her fault. She’s still trying to learn how to socialise properly with others outside family (because I think that the Browns were as good as family to her). That said, I’m not convinced that Leslie has the right temperament to deal with this.
I think Leslie is better equipped than most to deal with Becky, since she has gone through a similar ordeal herself. Even right now – in the fallout after Robin – she maintains control and nips Becky’s more wacky flights of fancy in the bud.
I also think it helps that Becky is remarkably good at improving her situation. In just a few weeks she built support, got a job, got her papers and got out from the unstable situation on campus. Give her a few more weeks and she will have a place to call her own as well. Leslie will have no trouble with a house guest in that time frame.
In addition, as I outlined above, I think Becky fills a real need for Leslie. She is the bratty teenage daughter Leslie might sadly never have. Borrowing one for a few weeks is not a bad thing.
Yeah, if she has the patience to manage students like Roz, Joe, and Walky, I think she can handle Becky just fine.
Probably can but its a different story when the person is living with you
Few parents are fully prepared for the reality of living with teenagers. Most seem to survive the experience somehow.
That’s true but those parents generally have had those kids for a number of years so have gotten used to them (hopefully) whereas as Leslies getting a very sheltered, home schooled fundie teenager which sounds like a helluva tough gig to me
Whoa, Leslie looks absolutely adorable while grumpy XD
Welp Becky really needs to learn the common sense of the normal world…
I’m glad to see Leslie’s good sense is back in working order.
So Becky’s still carrying a torch for Joyce, as I suspected. :/ I hope that this doesn’t become a problem with Becky and Dina down the road.
You know, you’re right! That might be an issue. Dina is very good at completely hiding her feelings but she does have a recognisable level of possessiveness towards Becky. She also clearly doesn’t like it when Joyce (rightly or wrongly) could be perceived as ‘interfering’.
I don’t think it’s a matter of Becky not being happy with Dina, it’s just that having carried that torch for so long, it still hurts a bit to think about, especially considering all the other stuff tangled up with it from how she ended up realizing she was in love with Joyce, and especially with how she ended up coming to IU.
That’s not the sort of thing that just evaporates overnight
This, here.
Hell about Dina, what happens when Joyce proves to be as bi as she looks?
Super kudos to panel 5 Leslie!
Also, I think Leslie looks better with her normal hair. Fight me.
One of my co-workers is in his thirties and single, and kinda private. And our boss thought it would be a good idea to say; “Well, we’ve got to find you a lady” or words to that effect. I was in the room and shut that shit right down. I reckon co-worker hears enough of that, and it ain’t nobody’s business.
Ouch
Thank you for doing that!
I see it going down at my otherwise-nearly-progressive church, which annoys the hell out of me.
Being an inveterate heckler who’s been single forever because yay health and who has a long history there, I get to shut it down Becky style, viz, “How did he jump to the head of the queue?!”
(which nb is distraction rather than shutting down. distraction: public. shutting down: private.)
OK, so Daisy is a student there. But she’s not one of Leslie’s students. She’s an adult. And Leslie has already shown poor judgement. And this is not Smarting of Age.
I’m not saying it would be good. I’m just saying it’s possible.
Would it increase drama and/or heartbreak and/or hijinks? Probably. Thus, there’s a good chance Willis will do it.
Though Leslie strong reaction against the suggestion make it pretty unlikely.
Pretty sure Leslie means ‘No students period’.
I’m a little biased in this situation because I’ve been on the receiving end of constant matchmaking jabs
There are only tow people in the gender study department? Hey, at least there is parity.
So Becky is def still in love with Joyce. She should have mentioned her Anderson roommate though, I guess she was illustrating how much that question hurt her. (LOVE THE FLAVOR TEXT!)
I really really hope Leslie won’t meet Robin out there, but then who am I kidding…
We just need more adult lesbians/bi women in DoA or at least one more to match with Leslie who isn’t Robin.
Poor Becky.
Leslie wouldn’t want to date her boss, anyway…
Also, ‘Straight Dude’ is a gender, right? A gender worthy of study!
Heck, if we understood straight dudes better, maybe they wouldn’t be so much of a problem…
The interesting thing is this is part of the reason for the drift from Women’s Studies to Gender Studies, because understanding how masculinity and heteronormativity is structured and enforced is a key part of understanding patriarchy and sexist and homophobic oppression as well as the suffering men get under systems of enforced toxic masculinity.
‘Straight dude’ could use a lot more breathing room. For me it’s more like a straight jacket. Stitched directly on to my skin by my family and school over years growing up, and I can’t seem to get it off.
Yup, toxic masculinity keeps “straight dude” as a tight cloistering cage that violently punishes anyone who steps outside. Opening that up and freeing alternate expressions of masculinity and straightness is a key component of making it safer for everyone and is a net good for society.
If a straight guy can wear a skirt without social condemnation or violence, it opens room for trans women to breathe without worrying that they’ll “pass” well enough to avoid violence.
If a straight guy doesn’t feel they need to violently reject anything “gay” for fear of association, then that reduces homophobic violence perpetuated by that rejection.
If a straight guy is free to be feminine or sensitive or in touch with emotions besides anger, it reduces violence or faux-objective bullshit.
Toxic masculinity hurts everyone, participants and outsiders alike and freeing folks from that can do a lot of good for society, which is why it’s often been a central part of feminism and why folks invested in patriarchal systems are so focused on making sure as few straight men as possible realize that.
I just read your reply, like, 5 times, and copied it into a text file.
Saw a guy wearing nail polish last week and felt this huge rush of sadness mixed with envy. I wanted to ask him; “How? How did you do it?”
A friend who once rocked multi-coloured nails is also the friend who stomps over online discussions of feminism because I DON’T SEE A PROBLEM WHY ISN’T THIS ABOUT US POOR DOWNTRODDEN GUYS?
So much damn fragility. Bloody sick of it.
Alas, sometimes even stylish people can also be jagoffs.
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do that.
Aww, Vulcanodon! You should get to wear nail polish if you want.
How he did it: he went to the dollar store and picked out a colour he liked. I know that isn’t what you mean. But, you can do it too if you want… or paint your toe nails! people can’t see them but you know they’re there.
Do you live in a place where painting your nails would be unsafe, or threaten your livelihood?
There’s a whole bunch of threads tying it together. Workplace is pretty hyper-masculine and at my age I can’t play games with my pension. My wife would be a definite no-go, and she instantly vetoed the jewel-studded eyeglass frames I modeled too. I think she knew I was not really joking, and that once I start exploring… There are also a million conditioned emotional things. But Butting has a good point, lot of people have it much worse.
I met with a bunch of students as a volunteer in a Human Library project event, and told them a story from my childhood, and encouraged them to try what they never felt at liberty earlier. To break the doors down now so they don’t get stuck behind dozens of doors later.
Yeah, that does sound stifling. I detest arbitrary limitations, but I’m out of my depth generationally and culturally on this one.
Eventually, maybe you can lean into the trope that retired people get to wear wacky things and it isn’t a big deal…? I dunno; out of my depth.
You’ve got it right. That is a real thing, and I have thought about what a relief it would be.
I look forward to visiting this site every day, and not only for the comics. Other people, somewhere, could accept a non-masculine man. That is a huge relief. I know I will be rejoicing when Jocelyn comes out. I just hope it doesn’t happen in an emergency room.
Cerberus’ comment about making space for trans women and reducing homophobic violence is an encouragement to keep trying to figure it out.
Anyway, thank you. And I should just let it go at that for now.
There is an anime, “Brother, dear Brother” in which a girl writes to her brother about her experiences in an ultra strict girl’s school. Makeup of any kind is -Forbidden-. But the bolder spirits paint -one- pinky nail bright red. So they can flaunt it. But hide it if Mme Javert appears.
Hmm, clever!
(Notes that spouse also likes anime…)
The lady who runs the paper seems pretty desperate. Leslie has probably gone out with her before, though.
Isn’t Daisy a student? (graduate at least, if not undergrad)
Yep, IDS editorial seems to be student run.
Oh Becky, you so Joyce. It is not surprising home schooling and social indoctrination in the fundy lifestyle have messed with the head of a lesbian in an awfully similar way it has her straight bestie.
The head of department for gender studies being a straight guy seems somehow fitting, kind of a case study.
In a single semester:
-Amazi-Girl: aside from being the manifestation of an undiagnosed mental disorder, stalked, physically assaulted and threatened god knows how many students. That’s after giving her a pass for what happened to Blaine and Toedad and almost happened to Becky.
-Toedad: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, attempted abduction, endangered the lives of multiple students
-Ruth: One of, if not the, most violent and dysfunctional RAs in Indiana University’s history. Multiple acts of physical assault. Reinstated as RA barely a week after being fired for aforementioned offenses.
-Ryan: Attempted to sexually assault one student and then harm or kill several others
-Amber: Painted a dormitory’s windows with two coats of the motherfucker’s blood.
All of this happened in two months.
How has the college not been shut down?
Because other than the gunman firing shots on campus, that’s actually not a huge amount of stuff to be happening at/around a campus if 38,000 students?
Not to mention that a lot of the things you mention went unreported, or aren’t things you’d shut anything down over, like Amber’s mental illness.
Well, they don’t know who AG is and have not apprehended her.
Ruth was never fired, so she wasn’t reinstated. We also don’t know what Clint did to pull it off.
Ryan was never reported.
And we don’t know what exactly Amber did to Ryan, only that she made him bleed.
Have you posted almost this exact comment before or am I having serious deja vu?
“Giving Amazi-Girl a pass for what almost happened to Becky”?
You mean, almost pulling off a solo rescue?
You would be disturbed and surprised by how much shit goes down on a daily typical basis at any school you would assume from the outside was hunky-dory. Suicide attempts, sexual assaults, violent assaults, armed robberies, gun violence, stalking, abuse, etc…
They just erase it all and expect the survivors to eat it and if they decide to make a fuss and report it, then the school systems and the general culture make life for that person who reported a living hell.
Like, the people who leaked out their rape or their harassment at a campus tend to have done so at great personal expense and often with little hope of their case going anywhere or doing any long-term good.
This all happening doesn’t raise this campus to “needs to be shut down”. This all happening is what normal looks like on the raggedy edges.
It’s a bit much for one dorm floor though. 🙂
Of course, it’s my head canon that not only do the minor characters on this floor have just as much going on in their lives, but so does every other dorm on campus. We’re just focusing on one subset.
It’s in the nature of any show with an ensemble cast. Which is to say if this were a TV show I’d totally watch it as long as it didn’t have a laugh track.
I for some reason cannot get over how great Becky’s face in the first panel is. Can’t get nothin’ past her. She’s about to solve a mystery. A LESBIAN mystery.
Actually the grocery store might not be the worst location for random meet ups!
Only if it sells lesbian groceries 😉
Could be interesting if the storyline was to develop that due to extreme wackiness, age and perkiness, Becky turns out to be an annoying roomie and that Leslie has to deal with the reality of mentoring a baby gay as opposed to the fantasy
Or Leslie could just have a break
I love the “I’m not going to church” face. That is totally my face.
also *ouuuch* becky, you kinda forget how she still isnt really over Joyce wen you see her and Dina being all cute together. It would be nice if Leslie had a girlfriend who was so of unrelated to the main cast? I think that would be pretty interesting to see
Nice that these strips came out during pride month. im guessing intentionally? Smoothly done!
Love how panel 3 is not in a frame*. The whole strop’s conversation is great but panel 3 draws the viewer to zero in on those biiiig wistful eyes.
(*Vocabulary is guesstimated.)
She teaches college, so I’m thinking that her dating any potential students would be a REALLY bad idea.