i once used an abortion card in Cards Against Humanity against a friend who had had a miscarriage a few months prior, by accident. it kinda ruined the evening.
Thanks for the shout out. I’m always looking for more phrases and patterns for the pack. Anyone who wants to add on to it can just reply here and I’ll put it in. 😀
‘Cause we’re the RAs who don’t do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything,
We’ll just tell you:
“Let’s get drunk and contemplate death instead”.
Meanwhile, Ruth finds out what Mary did to Carla and kicks her out of her room. Mary’s new room turns out to be located next to the previously unmentioned Outdoor University Roller derby training rink.
No, no, she “assigned Mary a new room, away from the disruption.” Make it look good on paper so the higher-ups will be irritated if Mary complains again.
There’s a line!? (Like Ruth, I’ve considered optimism and delusion to be the same for a long time now. I also won’t say certain things so the universe won’t “correct” me.)
I was spending a lot of time hanging out in our campus radio station when the Wayne’s World movie came out. We [i]constantly[/i] had townies calling in to request Bohemian Rhapsody, to the point that we’d gotten an “only one Bohemian Rhapsody per show” exception instituted to the station’s “you have to play all requests that are in the library and don’t violate FCC content regulations” rule.
Well, one night, we got a guy who kept calling in and wouldn’t take, “Dude, we just played it like twenty minutes ago,” for an answer. Finally, he called us up and was all, “Come on, man, I just want to hear Bohemian Rhapsody real quick,” and my friend, who was DJing, went, “Sure, okay, fine. Here it comes.” And she cued up the (33-1/3 RPM) record (yeah, we used actual records back then) with the turntable cranked up to 78 RPM and the pitch slider all the way up to squeeze a couple more RPM out of it. And we played him Bohemian Rhapsody real quick. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks do thrash metal at that speed.
Awww you’ve never felt this way about someone before? <3
But also um you thought this was an actual suicide pact? No no no no no love no this cannot end with your death stay alive being alive is good. I made the choice to stay alive and it's been a pretty choice tbh.
I feel bad for Billie though. She needs to understand that her worth is not tied to if someone is "fixed" or not. I think that's what she feels helping does. But helping doesn't always fix. And that's okay.
It sucks when you’re so depressed that you think you can’t be helped, that there’s something inherently broken in you that all the medication and therapy in the world won’t heal.
Pro-tip – ‘Maybe I’m not really depressed. Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to keep happiness from leaking away or be loved.’ is not a thought non-depressed people usually have.
what about hoping that the people around you are just more of assholes than you think so when you finally move out you might end up being happy even though you literally can’t remember what it feels like?
Remembering the terms of their relationship? Given how drunk they were when it started, they’re both lucky to remember that the relationship exists at all.
Billie: Then, again, you make a point of never evicting an orphan!
Ruth: Of course: I am an orphan myself, and know what it is.
Billie: Yes, but it has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we catch drinking says she’s an orphan. The last three dorms we inspected proved to be inhabited entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them stay.
Ruth: But, hang it all! You wouldn’t have me absolutely merciless?
My guess, Billie? She’s never had anyone care for her enough that they would be willing to die with her at some unspecified point in the future so long as she agreed to keep living now.
That doesn’t change the fact that Ruth cares for Billie and would prefer it if she didn’t want to kill herself. I suspect that she’s hoping that creating a friendship with Joyce would be more constructive and healthy on every single level.
My worry? The very minute that Billie shows even a hint of having a happy and stable life forming, Ruth will kill herself, telling herself that this is an act of love that she’s doing to ‘protect’ her.
Certainly, the relationship is unhealthy, but I think this is overestimating. The relationship seems founded on them both being halfway functional, and kind of trapped in that state.
If either of them starts being consistently healthy or unhealthy, or actually loses the survival urge, I worry that they’d have problems. I’d expect more along the lines of acting out with unhealthy behavior though. Her mo is drinking into unconsciousness in a mostly safe environment. That is a dangerous habit, but it’s not the worst we’ve seen lately.
Oh, ruth. Ruth, sweetie. Ruth. I know it’s your first relationship in this state, but you don’t say that, you don’t even imply it, no matter how loud you’re thinking it. You’ll feel worse. So much worse. :<
I love them but their relationship is sooooo messed up. I mean, I can’t even say it has red flags. It is just one big giant red flag being traversed by two girls wearing rose colored glasses.
Which makes me adore them more.
Still…so problematic. I mean, beyond just the alcoholism and the intense suicide stuff, staying in a relationship in order to make sure someone stays alive/in relatively passable mental health is terrible. Particularly when using them as a crutch for your own similar issues.
As a lesbian, I often hear my het friends saying “I wish I were gay, it would be so much easier…” and I don’t bother holding back from laughing in their faces anymore. Whacked out mental issues, addiction, trauma, and problematic attachments know no gender binary.
Wait no I had an actual meaningful thought instead of more ripping on Ruth.
So, does Ruth not want to be helped? Does she think it wouldn’t work? Like, that she’s totally beyond help; Does she maybe not recognize that she needs it?
I used to live my life that way. Until I met Katherine.
Letting ones’ self be vulnerable is frightening; liberating; magnificent; and is bound to end in heartbreak.
And that’s all I will say on the matter.
She shouldn’t give up on her, not unless Ruth got violent again anyway, but she should also recognize that she’s unequipped to solve Ruth’s problems on her own.
Unfortunately unlike Danny being able to talk to Ethan, Billie doesn’t have anyone to turn to, especially since doing so would invariably get Ruth fired.
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“I’ll fill YOUR blanks…”
“that’s what
sheyou said”“and stop looking so cute and fuckable, dammit”
Fill in the blanks? Ruth, Cards Against Humanity is a great game, but for relationship advice, not so much.
Link is from ninja_jesus yesterday.
I thought Monopoly is the game that ruins all relationships.(since 1904)
Someday that game is going to start a literal war.
Monopoly is a game about the inequities of capitalism, it’s not MEANT to promote peaceful coexistence.
Cards Against Humanity doesn’t ruin relationships with conflict; it just shines the harsh light of day on us all.
Cards Against Humanity: A game about the worst people.
The worse you are, the better you are.
until your hitler and then your doomed.
i once used an abortion card in Cards Against Humanity against a friend who had had a miscarriage a few months prior, by accident. it kinda ruined the evening.
It taught a group I was in what “Heteronormativity” was. None of us knew.
Diplomacy, Settlers of Catan, Civilization: games that ruin friendships/relationships… Monopoly: not so much.
Once you’ve mentioned Diplomacy, there’s really no need to cite any other game. They’re all less ruiny by at least an order of magnitude.
I really need to get my hands on a copy of that game.
I don’t know. I was mostly warned of Junta.
Uno. I will say this until my dying day.
Never EVER play Uno sitting next to someone you care about. One of you will try to kill the other one before the game is over!
Ehhhh, Settlers never affected relationships that I’ve seen, and these weren’t antagonistic relationships to start with.
Thanks for the shout out. I’m always looking for more phrases and patterns for the pack. Anyone who wants to add on to it can just reply here and I’ll put it in. 😀
What do you mean? It can be great relationship advice, especially for lesbians. :p
Appropriate avatar. One of my first lez crushes. 😮
Well, strictly speaking, she is also a he and thus he/she can be gay to everyone:-P
… Done the drunken two lady naked tango?
There’s hope. It’s pretty damn small, but it’s there.
I’ve never…pooped outside my own home.
I’ve never… felt hope to not die?
I’ve never…actually cared about someone else before you.
This one, please.
…felt like this before.
I swear, it’s the truth. And I owe it all to you.
(oh, wait. That’s “this way”)
conversely, I’ve never actually attempted suicide yet?
Not sure which one would scare Ruth more.
–oh! She said “stupidly sappy” not “stupidly scary”. I read that wrong and it’s a very different comic.
No wonder she’s so cranky. She has to sprint back to Canada at least once a day.
I don’t know. Have we ever seen Ruth eat?
I’ve never…
Swum the English Channel
swum is a nice word
‘Cause we’re the RAs who don’t do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything,
We’ll just tell you:
“Let’s get drunk and contemplate death instead”.
Huh. Not as catchy as the Veggie Tales version.
I’ve never… played an elf.
I’ve never … slept with Mike’s mother.
*drinks*
I’m glad Billie picked up what Ruth was dropping, there. She’s a sensitive listener.
I’ve never… worn a ponytail before. Until today. *deep gaze*
Isn’t it obvious, Billie? Ruth never had sex with a half Chinese person before she met you.
She’s had sex with half of a Chinese person, but that’s not the same thing.
Well, it’s definitely less awkward if the other half is still attached.
The Ruth equivalent of a Gershwin romantic musical number.
“….tried suicide”. ?
So Billie helps Joyce, who in turn rediscovers her joy and optimism, and that bounces back, hits Billie, and Billie saves Ruth.
Joyce finds a nice young man to be with, and Billie and Ruth live out long years together fucking like angry honeybadgers on a regular basis.
I know the line between optimism and delusion is thin with me, but I don’t care 🙂
Meanwhile, Ruth finds out what Mary did to Carla and kicks her out of her room. Mary’s new room turns out to be located next to the previously unmentioned Outdoor University Roller derby training rink.
No, no, she “assigned Mary a new room, away from the disruption.” Make it look good on paper so the higher-ups will be irritated if Mary complains again.
Would Mary be the one who gets reprimanded from that?
There’s a line!? (Like Ruth, I’ve considered optimism and delusion to be the same for a long time now. I also won’t say certain things so the universe won’t “correct” me.)
Your delusion power would have made you a great Akibranger.
*just sets a pile of Queen songs on the Muzak turntable, hits PLAY, and walks away*
(Checks Queen playlist to make sure “Who Wants To Live Forever” isn’t on there. Places “Breakthru” on it)
You’re going to leave “Keep Yourself Alive” in there?
Also “Don’t Try Suicide”?
Princes of the Universe would be nice. Just no B.R. It’s way overplayed
I was spending a lot of time hanging out in our campus radio station when the Wayne’s World movie came out. We [i]constantly[/i] had townies calling in to request Bohemian Rhapsody, to the point that we’d gotten an “only one Bohemian Rhapsody per show” exception instituted to the station’s “you have to play all requests that are in the library and don’t violate FCC content regulations” rule.
Well, one night, we got a guy who kept calling in and wouldn’t take, “Dude, we just played it like twenty minutes ago,” for an answer. Finally, he called us up and was all, “Come on, man, I just want to hear Bohemian Rhapsody real quick,” and my friend, who was DJing, went, “Sure, okay, fine. Here it comes.” And she cued up the (33-1/3 RPM) record (yeah, we used actual records back then) with the turntable cranked up to 78 RPM and the pitch slider all the way up to squeeze a couple more RPM out of it. And we played him Bohemian Rhapsody real quick. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks do thrash metal at that speed.
He didn’t call us back.
Epic example of “be careful what you ask for; you just might get it.”
Why does Princes of the Universe seem like the sort of song that Walky would sing while standing on a dining hall table?
Walky strikes me as the kind of person who’d sing an off key version of “Don’t Stop Me Now” in the shower, forgetting half the lyrics.
“Suicide is Painless” by Johnny Mandel.
Yay!!! I have hope again!!!…until tomorrow when Willis crushes it like the master emotion manipulator he is.
I am uplifted by this one.
Awwww
Merry Christmas, Willis 🙂
Awww you’ve never felt this way about someone before? <3
But also um you thought this was an actual suicide pact? No no no no no love no this cannot end with your death stay alive being alive is good. I made the choice to stay alive and it's been a pretty choice tbh.
I feel bad for Billie though. She needs to understand that her worth is not tied to if someone is "fixed" or not. I think that's what she feels helping does. But helping doesn't always fix. And that's okay.
Puts Stayin’ Alive on the record player and presses play.
It sucks when you’re so depressed that you think you can’t be helped, that there’s something inherently broken in you that all the medication and therapy in the world won’t heal.
Pro-tip – ‘Maybe I’m not really depressed. Maybe I just don’t have the capacity to keep happiness from leaking away or be loved.’ is not a thought non-depressed people usually have.
good point
Billie should call her out on that
what about hoping that the people around you are just more of assholes than you think so when you finally move out you might end up being happy even though you literally can’t remember what it feels like?
Remembering the terms of their relationship? Given how drunk they were when it started, they’re both lucky to remember that the relationship exists at all.
Surprisingly, lesb- erm, bisexual suicide packs are kinda depressing.
Lesbian suicide pact between bisexuals?
Would a lesbian suicide pact between two bisexuals lead to two dead lesbians or two living heterosexuals?
Schrodinger’s bisexuals?
Wasn’t there a Star Trek episode about that, with a transporter accident?
Or at least a fanfic?
“‘Fill in my own blanks’? Then why the hell am I dating you!?”
Time to buy strap-ons I guess.
“I’ve never bathed in maple syrup”
Stupid and sappy.
Also easily rectified. They’ll definitely be sticking together a lot after that bonding experience. 😉
Next Slipshine confapfapfap
I mean confirmed.
She’s Canadian, so this has to be correct.
Getting dangerously close to WAM fetish, Palamdrone.
Been in love before now? Some variation on that?
I’m guessing “…felt as happy as when I’m around you.”
I was just going to say “…doubted that,” but I guess that isn’t really very sappy.
Insert pirates who can’t do anything song
Are they lead by Don Karnage?
Billie: Then, again, you make a point of never evicting an orphan!
Ruth: Of course: I am an orphan myself, and know what it is.
Billie: Yes, but it has got about, and what is the consequence? Every one we catch drinking says she’s an orphan. The last three dorms we inspected proved to be inhabited entirely by orphans, and so we had to let them stay.
Ruth: But, hang it all! You wouldn’t have me absolutely merciless?
The piRAtes of IU.
My guess, Billie? She’s never had anyone care for her enough that they would be willing to die with her at some unspecified point in the future so long as she agreed to keep living now.
That doesn’t change the fact that Ruth cares for Billie and would prefer it if she didn’t want to kill herself. I suspect that she’s hoping that creating a friendship with Joyce would be more constructive and healthy on every single level.
She’s on to you, Billie.
My worry? The very minute that Billie shows even a hint of having a happy and stable life forming, Ruth will kill herself, telling herself that this is an act of love that she’s doing to ‘protect’ her.
…Ruth know better than doing that while Billie still has any sort of connexion to her.
No one will /die/ within the strip. Willis would have to do the mourning forever RL, and it’s just not doable for him.
Certainly, the relationship is unhealthy, but I think this is overestimating. The relationship seems founded on them both being halfway functional, and kind of trapped in that state.
If either of them starts being consistently healthy or unhealthy, or actually loses the survival urge, I worry that they’d have problems. I’d expect more along the lines of acting out with unhealthy behavior though. Her mo is drinking into unconsciousness in a mostly safe environment. That is a dangerous habit, but it’s not the worst we’ve seen lately.
Adorable… horrifting… adorifting
This would be almost sweet if it wasn’t so uncomfortable at the same time.
That’s ind of the tagline for the two of them, isn’t it?
*kind of the tagline, dangit.
…pretty slow days for comments hm
“I’ve never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight”
Oh, ruth. Ruth, sweetie. Ruth. I know it’s your first relationship in this state, but you don’t say that, you don’t even imply it, no matter how loud you’re thinking it. You’ll feel worse. So much worse. :<
Yeah, I don’t think Ruth has a lot of experience with the good feels. They’re bad, bad really bad.
But Billie! We both agreed to tirelessly spend our time lobbying congress to legalize suicide between lesbians!
Oh, you said “pact,” not “Lesbian Suicide PAC?”
I love them but their relationship is sooooo messed up. I mean, I can’t even say it has red flags. It is just one big giant red flag being traversed by two girls wearing rose colored glasses.
Which makes me adore them more.
Still…so problematic. I mean, beyond just the alcoholism and the intense suicide stuff, staying in a relationship in order to make sure someone stays alive/in relatively passable mental health is terrible. Particularly when using them as a crutch for your own similar issues.
As a lesbian, I often hear my het friends saying “I wish I were gay, it would be so much easier…” and I don’t bother holding back from laughing in their faces anymore. Whacked out mental issues, addiction, trauma, and problematic attachments know no gender binary.
Ruuuuth, part of fighting depression is realizing happy feelings are not stupid or sappy (or at least that it’s okay to be stupid and sappy).
“I’ve never – -”
FILL IN THE BLANK!
” felt love like this before!”
Maybe the terms of the pact are changing.
Vader is standing off to one side changing the deal out of sight.
Pray he doesn’t alter it any further.
The Willis is not as forgiving as he is.
So I suppose Ruth is still thinking this ends in her killing herself.
I figured things were still bad for them, but I was hoping she had started to move away from that. Billie, at least, is a lot more hesitant.
srsly tho Ruth; when your girlfriend asks if she’s helping, don’t reply that it gets in the way of your scheduled suicide!
Wait no I had an actual meaningful thought instead of more ripping on Ruth.
So, does Ruth not want to be helped? Does she think it wouldn’t work? Like, that she’s totally beyond help; Does she maybe not recognize that she needs it?
Feeling like you can’t be helped, and that there’s no point in doing anything to try to feel better, is really common with depression.
I was thinking “…regretted opening up to you” but that’s definitely not true. I guess “had someone care that much about me before” makes more sense.
“I’ve never….” “….. let myself be vulnerable.”
I used to live my life that way. Until I met Katherine.
Letting ones’ self be vulnerable is frightening; liberating; magnificent; and is bound to end in heartbreak.
And that’s all I will say on the matter.
i’ve never….. had a reason not to die before.
seems like that might fit.
She’s never been to Boston in the fall.
Hey, wait, I have. I don’t remember it as being so awful. Not like Minnesota in the winter or Phoenix in the summer.
I’ve never…chugged three bottles of maple syrup at once.
(She said it was sappy)
You win!
She’s never found a stranger in the alps before.
Is that what they’re calling it now?
Is there anything that isn’t a euphemism for sex?
When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
I can tell you things about Peter Pan,
And the Wizard of Oz is a dirty old man!
– Tom Lehrer
Don’t give up on her Billie, she’s almost ready to open up.
She shouldn’t give up on her, not unless Ruth got violent again anyway, but she should also recognize that she’s unequipped to solve Ruth’s problems on her own.
Unfortunately unlike Danny being able to talk to Ethan, Billie doesn’t have anyone to turn to, especially since doing so would invariably get Ruth fired.
…. “Been happier”
wait for it………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
and you realize thats the saddest part of all.