I’ve often wondered about that phrase. The implication is clearly that hearts with blood in them are specific to a single ideological leaning. If you carve open a conservative, what do you find? A lump of coal? Spiders? An empty void? And what about moderates? Some kind of pendulum or metronome, always swinging back and forth?
Nope gotta be raw, and preferably still twitching a bit. It loses a lot of nutrition if it sits too long, like long enough to cool halfway between live body and room temperature.
Or every other second, if you’re a very fit athlete or a very experienced meditator…
Though, according to a wonderful website, healthy pigs have a heart rate between 70 and 120 bpm! Elephants are between 25 and 35, and anesthetized Rhesus monkeys have between 160 and 330 beats per minute. I have learned something today….
Yeah, let’s go with the misanthropic, terminally bitter woman, rather than the one who shows promise of being really cool once she’s had a little while to get her shit together. Good plan there, ace.
Fair enough, but I’m just saying that Joyce DOES need to take Becky’s feelings for her into account. I’m not saying that they should kick Becky out. In no way am I saying that. But, Joyce does need to acknowledge this aspect of the situation.
I think Joyce is partly in denial because she sees the situation as pretty hopeless. I mean, unless something happens, we all know that harsh reality will come crashing in and bad times plus heart breaking feels will rock us all.
It’s not a matter of choosing between them; what Sarah is telling her is to listen to Becky’s requests about time apart, and why it’s important to do so.
Easy, yes, but it is important to keep clear which is which: Sarah-casm / Sarah-gasm; Sal-casm / Sal-gasm. Its tricky sometimes because the preview of Head of the Class features the former, with indications there will be the later.
Magneto: I AM MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNET!
Storm: Magneto’s trapped us all in spheres of metal!
Professor X: Perhaps our newest recruit can save us! Gaydar, use you mutant gifts!
Gaydar:…Northstar is gay!
Northstar:…Well, she’s right.
*X-Men are deathified*
Honestly, I quit reading dead-tree comics in the mid-’90s, but not long ago went and looked up a bunch of stuff for a Marvel RPG I was playing in, and, reading up on recent plotlines, came to the conclusion that pretty much everything that happened after I quit reading them is stupid and doesn’t exist in my universe.
“Still more useful than Cypher,” was a running gag in that game.
Though it’s not really fair. Cypher is incredibly useful. He just has absolutely no business being sent out to punch bad guys.
why do you dislike it? it is an accurate word to describe a concept that happens to just about any person who looks for a relationship with people of their desired sexual and or romantic gender(s). It is a clever phrase without the intensity of “unrequited love” or the negativity of “rejection” and it opens up the possibility for friendship which indicates that the person is still interested in being in a relationship with that person, even if dating/sex is off the table.
The only issue I have is when people blame the friend “I can’t believe he friendzoned me, he is such a jerk I did so much for him” because simply put that is not the friend zone, if it is then that’s a crappy friend who doesn’t understand the value of putting work into a friendship and doesn’t respect the choices of their supposed “friend”
Probably because that issue of yours is how it is most commonly used. It inherently carries “rejection” around with it. People aren’t “friend zoned” because it’s a place they wanted to be. Nobody came up with that term to say “hey, we’re just friends and I’m cool with that.” Nobody uses it about themselves as a means of expressing how cool it is. It is inherently about people thinking they deserve another person’s submission to their desires. It has nothing to do with accepting someone else for what they are or respecting them
I’d torch that phrase at the stake if it wasn’t… like… physically impossible.
okay well, then it would just be replaced with a different word, yeah it might be used that way a lot, I just don’t see how butchering words until we run out helps anything. its like how every word for mentally challenged gets turned into an insult (many common insults were once actually the go to socially acceptable term) if we treat the word as the problem then the attitudes and behaviors of those who use the word will just move on to the next one. yeah the idea of the friendzone was never meant to be pleasant, I have been friendzoned before and wasn’t happy about it, I just didn’t blame the other person for expressing there own desires and I continued being friends with them because I honestly enjoyed there company. (one of my best RL friends now is someone I used to have a crush on, she is married now and we still text and hangout and I am happy that I still have that even now that a relationship would be impossible) I don’t know the statistics on how the term is used from one person to the next, or whether it is even used correctly, but saying the word is bad doesn’t fix anything, people have been pissed off about being rejected since long before the Friends sitcom.
btw I am not saying your wrong I honestly just wanted to express my thoughts on it.
What I don’t like is how the term gets used as a place you want to run away from, since you won’t find what you wanted there – and that it reflects badly on you if you stay. There’s nothing positive about the term, even though there are plenty of positives in a friendship (once you get past the sting of any unrequited love, so to speak). It’s kinda baked into the term for me, so I don’t like the term, and simply don’t use it.
Huh, my thoughts on this were harder to describe than I anticipated. Let me put it this way. You know how there are terms you don’t like to use – that you just don’t plain like at all? This is one of them for me.
Yes. Being friends with someone is genuinely a good thing, and given how often we switch partners before finding the right one – and how rarely we switch friends / how few friends we have – you are probably better being friends with someone than being lovers ( unless it’s your soulmate! But they probably wouldn’t have rejected you like undercooked meat served up to a vegan “I’m sorry ma’am, I’ll have none of that!”).
Problem is, a lot of people don’t “move to friends” after the rejection. They hang on the possibility that in the future they may get what they want, and spend a ridiculous amount of time and resources on a person that simply doesn’t return their level of affection, and they do it for all the wrong reasons.
That’s why its bad to be in the friendZone and good to be friends.
It’s just really unfortunate guys or girls don’t get the hint when being rejected, because the “I’ll hang around and be nice and my niceness will earn me a sexual relationship ” ( I’m paraphrasing the super creepy line I hear from people in the friendzone) is wrong and unhealthy.
It’s not an accurate anything. It’s a word used by guys to describe a place they pretend exists when a girl isn’t attracted to them and rebuffs their advances. There’s no friend zone. If someone wants to date a friend, they do. The best relationships start as friends- and stay friends. If a girl shoots you down, you don’t inhabit some magical place, she just isn’t into you. I have never turned down a date because I was afraid I’d “ruin our friendship.” But if I had a dollar for every time I said “I just want to be friends,” because I couldn’t bring myself to say, “I don’t want to talk to you again- ever,” I’d be loaded. I talk to zero of those guys now. Zero. A few tried to keep in touch. Then I got to hear how I’m a b for having the nerve to not want to date such “good guys.” ::eyeroll::
Yeah, that’s my biggest issue with “friendzone” as well. The way it presumes a lot of entitlement that a relationship was owed and that being a friend is some sort of punishment instead of something really important and awesome in its own right.
Heck, I had a situation recently with a friend where my brain suddenly started having really big romantic feelings towards them and I let them know about it. That particular dimension wasn’t shared, but the fact that we’re still able to have our great friend dynamic and that they are understanding of the fact that sometimes I blush a lot when we’re hanging out because of brain feelings is really awesome and it sucks that there’s such a culture of toxic masculinity that sees such an awesome thing as bad simply because having feelings requited feels expected to them and worse yet, sees it as an invitation to punish the person offering that awesome thing or as a delayed bookmark in what they feel they are “owed”.
And I feel is what often leads to “friendships breaking off due to unrequited feelings” because the worry that someone is going to get like that if they reject someone is built on all the bad experiences with the toxic people who tend to use words like “friendzone” the most.
I’m pretty sure nobody thinks “the friendzone” is a literal place, I meant its ORIGINAL definition didn’t even have to do with rejection a lot of people were (and some today are) in a friendship that they are afraid to take further or admit that they are into the person, or if they were “rejected” (“lets just be friends” kind not “fuck off loser” kind) they may have decided to be friends after the rejection because to paraphrase “becky is in love with you, but you don’t love her back the same way, so she wants to be with you all the time yet when she is, it hurts” being a friend is a great thing, but being rejected by someone you like hurts, you can eventually move past those feelings and be great friends again, but you can’t always just shut your feelings off. yes its bad that people use it as a term to describes rejection and tries to use pity or guilt tactics (“I was nice to her, I did her favors she owes me”) it RUINS the term, it makes people like the ones in this thread think the word itself is the problem, but what next, we come up with a new term and people hijack that? theirs no politically correct “I am in a friendship and want to be more but a. I am too shy to go further or b. a full on relationship with me is not what that person wants” I myself have never actually been rejected because I have always been too nervous to actually ask
(which is a failing on my part that I am trying to work on) the people I am into untill its too late (they get a new boyfriend) and I just be friends because the reason I wanted to pursue her was that I liked spending time with her. not because I wanted to “get into her pants” I honestly think I have fit into the actual original definition a few different times and others have as well. and any hijacking misuse of the term should be considered that.
The war between the Kingdom of the Drunks and the Kingdom of the Hobos was a terrible one, not least because the drunks kept passing out and not turning up to battles, causing to go on far longer than it really should have.
People could change sides as many as four or five times a fight especially in some near them jostled them, causing the spill their drink. It made it especially hard to work who actually won any give fight, or even work out where the battle-lines were.
Unfortunately the records of the events that transpired are no less confusing than the actual events, as the only existing pictures of the war were taken by a high school dropout and amateur photographer whose borrowed camera would capture some of the war’s blurriest, most poorly framed moments.
You’re not a proper hobo if you haven’t carried a bindle and ridden the rails for free. The latter’s gotten pretty tricky to pull off in this day and age.
And may I congratulate Urban Dictionary for getting the definition of bindlestiff right when every other online dictionary thinks it’s synonymous with hobo or tramp.
Somehow I feel like Sarah might know this feeling she’s describing personally. I don’t know who she loves or used to love, but that sounds like a woman who’s been there, done that.
It’s possible to recognize that pattern of behavior and pain of unrequited feelings without having experienced it before yourself. It is an extremely common plot line or story device in just about all forms of entertainment and media.
And it’s the glorious return of “exactly what you said, but without being sarcastic”! Though remaining a bit sarcastic, because this is Sarah.
(I feel like this conversation is going to take a sharp turn into the “what are Becky’s long-term plans” in the next strip. It’s a very plausible lead-in here.)
I’m surprised it hasn’t come up already, although it’s been about a day or two in comic time & the majority of characters aren’t mean enough to figure out how to get rid of people that quickly.
Sarah’s good at cold, and realistic enough to know that the current situation can’t continue. Becky’s situation sucks and isn’t her fault, but Joyce simply isn’t in a position to give her a place to live for very long. Really need to get that girl into the local shelter system and start the job hunting process.
Wish I thought there was a chance that Becky’s father has realized what his bigotry will cost him and decided to put his daughter first, but that’s too much of a story book twist for DoA.
Nono, she got it. But she reacts that way probably because she’s mad at herself for not realizing it sooner. That and the fact that she can’t really do anything about it.
So sarcasm has become Joyce’s defense mechanism. Sarah’s rubbing off on her.
That old myth is only true in the short term, even in technical terms. There’s very little decay going on past the first 10-12 years after death. Compare that to the volume of dynamically balanced chemical activity in a living body, especially during the first couple of decades of growth. It’s dying embers versus a raging furnace once your corpse has rotted down to the bones.
Best definition of living — ie, the one that i like best — is processes maintaining body in disequilibrium from the environment. Death = processes stop, body goes to equilibrium. (Something . Like that)
No, but she knows that they may not have much time before they’re forced to do so. Someone (Mary?) will narc Becky to Ruth, or Ruth’s superiors, and she’s forced out of the dorms. Better be ready for that – look for a job (good luck), arrange a bed in a shelter, and she ought to be talking to a lawyer about forcing support out of her father, along with any college funds that were supposed to be in her name.
Can she force much, if any, support from her father at her age? I had a friend in college who had recently had a brain tumor removed, and was on meds to control the seizures. One day, her father kicked her off his health insurance plan (he never was a very caring father). As I recall, there was precious little she could do about it.
I hope your friend consulted a lawyer about that rather than trusting the insurance company. It might have been legit depending on her age and where they lived, but some places extend parental health care support all the way to age 21, or even beyond that in the case of existing conditions that are severe enough to prevent you from working.
Doubt it. Her life had already been flipped upside-down and shaken; it was all she could do to just stay in school. She really didn’t need another battle to fight.
From what I can see of Indiana law, Becky’s eligible to demand support from her father (sole parent, right?) until age 19, or until a court declares her emancipated at his request. They might grant him that since she’s no longer under parental control, but it’s not a guarantee.
I love the dawning realization look Joyce gets on her face whenever she learns something about the world in general…though wonder if she’ll apoligize to Walky about her comments regarding love
I don’t know about those ever being fixed, per se – too much has been said than cannot be unsaid. But, she may be able to at least establish peace with them. That would be a huge improvement for Sarah.
Jacob and Sarah had one very brief argument following their encounter with Amazi-Girl and haven’t spoken since. Before that they’d barely gotten past the casual talking stage of things, and I’m not sure Jacob even registered that she’s lusting after him – he seems a little blind in that area. Both of them were pretty nasty with one another, but hardly enough to make a relationship irreparable even at their tender young age.
Still plenty of room for the two them to mutually decide to hit the Reset Button and try again. Whether they can get around Sarah’s defensive personality traits is questionable, but it might happen. Of course, there’s also the possibility for further complications from Jacob’s end. If any of the addiction issue he had in Shortpacked translated to DoA that could be a major issue.
Oh, them. Sorry, misunderstood. I’m not sure that situation’s unrecoverable either, especially with Raidah (who seems more rational than the rest). If/when Dana gets cleaned up and deals with her grief she might have some thanks for Sarah, and that would go a long ways towards repairing her rep with the sophomores. Dana’s other friends were letting her destroy herself because they couldn’t see the whole picture, and the basis for hating Sarah is mostly based on her being a narc rather than a potential lifesaver.
Poor Joyce, even doing the right thing ends up hurting people. Don’t worry girl things will get better…eventually, and honestly they are probably going to get worse here pretty soon.
So as a gay guy who fell in love with a straight friend, I can understand Becky’s plight. I even dated mine for a bit but he eventually broke it off. I still love him, and spending time with him is one of the few things that continues to make me happy, but it really can be hard to look at him and be forced to tell myself that I can’t be with him.
I’d just like to point out that Joyce was the one who brought up throwing Sarah out. Sarah’s all like “hey here’s some perspective on your friend’s emotional baggage” and Joyce went and slippery-sloped her!
I think it’s less slippery-slope and more that Joyce is both hypersensitive to any intimation of kicking Becky out, reading that interpretation into what Sarah said even when it’s not there. Plus either she didn’t think about how it hurts to be around someone who doesn’t love you back, or she still hasn’t quite absorbed that being gay can involve, y’know, actual love and not just grinding similar sets of genitals at each other.
You know what? I don’t blame Sarah in this situation. When I lived with a room mate, one would pull this shit all the time by having people come and stay with us all the time without consulting. Let alone in this case where they are literally in the same room
That gets old real fast, but in Becky’s case I’d have let it slide while she hunted for a job and another place to stay. Not exactly the usual “friend from high school come visiting” or “this is the live-in girlfriend of the week” kind of thing. And really, Sarah’s just being realistic, sooner or later the Powers That Be will notice Becky and force her out of the dorm.
Sarah, the advice giver for when Morgan Freemon isn’t available ( not yet available in kind old man edition).
I know it’s really crappy for Joyce and Becky, but friendZone + hang out all the time is super unhealthy for Becky. I hope Joyce gives her enough space to move on properly and grow enough emotionally to be friends without just being friendZoned.
Also, Joyce needs to realize she isn’t responsible for other people’s emotional wellbeing. Doing the right thing and sacrificing yourself for someone else aren’t necessarily the same thing, or as my favorite stewardess says “you have to make sure your own mask is secure before helping someone else.”
Apropos of nothing, I can never see Morgan Freeman without thinking of him as a (much younger and oddly Western-themed) Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew. Saw him on stage in that role way back in 1990 and it’s stuck forever. Made the ending of South Park: Stick of Truth even more surreal for me.
Joyce really has trouble with complexity and mid-range emotions, doesn’t she? Feeling conflicted about a situation or a situation having good and bad elements or behavior having good or bad elements, especially her own behavior. This connects to how she internalized Roz’s statements as meaning that she was personally responsible for all cultural homophobia everywhere and overcompensating for it by beating herself up way too much.
It leads to her doing some very brave moral acts (standing up against her parents for Dorothy, making sure Becky doesn’t end up on the street, breaking up with Ethan, etc…), but also means she has a hard time with subtler hard situations that don’t require big dramatic actions (like here).
Cause Sarah is correct in her innocent statement here. Becky wants to spend time with Joyce and Joyce is totally doing a good thing, but Becky is also going to want to spend some time alone:
a) because spending some time apart is healthy in any relationship (romantic, sexual, platonic, etc…) to keep it from becoming overly co-dependent,
b) because Sarah is on point that spending all of Becky’s time with Joyce is painful for Becky because that didn’t go the way she hoped,
c) because Sarah is very on point that spending some time apart is a very healthy for Becky to do in order to process that hurt in a way that isn’t toxic and protect the friendship and do right by it, and
d) because part of that moving on and her self-discovery is going to ideally (for Becky) include connecting more with her queer identity and community and that is still something that feels awkward for Joyce and which Joyce sometimes pushes back on a lot (even though she doesn’t intend to).
And that’s all going to be super important because while Becky is going to be very down with being that rock and protector to help Joyce regain some power after her assault (like she’s doing now), she will still need space occasionally and its going to result in far less friction if Joyce doesn’t take that personally like she has every time Becky has not been around (look back at the big absences (the Women Studies class, the hallway wander this morning, and now), each one has either led to an argument between the two or Joyce feeling really sad, down, and abandoned. That’s really not healthy).
And it also creates friction here because Sarah noting a reality and the healthy way Becky is handling it hits Joyce’s lack of middle gears and so Joyce can only interpret it as either “I’m a terrible person who is hurting Becky with my meanness” or like she has here “Sarah is being a mean poopy-head who thinks that my friend needs to be thrown onto the streets in front of a passing car”, when the real answer is probably more on the lines of “oh yeah, I’ll try and not take Becky wandering off on occasion so personally just because I rely so much on the presence of friends and others for a sense of safety”.
Pfeh, screw this requirement for reciprocal feelings. Should asexual people not have relationships with sexual people because their desires are different? Of course not! Joyce wants to be close with her friend and Becky wants to be close with her crush+friend. So what if there’s some hurt? That’s a given with any relationship. How the hurt should be valued should be up to Becky, either way.
Yes, exactly– that’s why Becky is distancing herself from Joyce at the moment. Sarah believes Becky has realized, at least subconsciously, that the pain outweighs the joy– and so Sarah is pointing out to Joyce that spending time with Becky now would hurt more than help.
Ever go through a rejection and/or breakup where you find yourself regularly visiting their Facebook or Twitter pages even though it hurts to do so? You don’t really get to start healing until you stop visiting those pages to give yourself some space, whether by being distracted from them or by simply making the conscious realization that you are gaining nothing but pain out of each visit. Becky’s in a similar situation, taken to an extreme case.
People need time and distance to heal after that kind of event, but Becky can’t get much of it in the current situation! So she gets herself a little distance right now, while she has an excuse to do so– without overtly saying to Joyce that “I need to get myself away from you because your presence hurts me terribly.” Pretty tactful, considering.
Yet the pain will damage the friendship if it’s not dealt with. That’s why having some space initially, to allow for one party to get over their crush or unrequited love, is so valuable. True, the other party is under no obligation to do that, but part of a friendship is caring for the wellbeing of your friend, so it would be nice.
While I concur that finding another place for Becky to live is probably nicer to prevent the slow creep of resentment that comes from jilted love syndrome, I think kickin’ her out MIGHT be a tad harsh Sarah, which is probably why Joyce was being sarcastic.
I agreed with Sarah all the way up until the ‘lets kick her out’ part. Becky has nowhere to go. Though, Sarah could be suggesting finding a different friend of theirs to take her in. But that would be asking a lot of that friend. The only person I can think of who MIGHT be willing to do that is Sal, but only because Billie is never around. That means that there is a bed for Becky.
Now, I had a friend who was kicked out of her home and had nowhere to go, so she couch surfed for a while until she found an apartment. I let her crash on my couch multiple times. Perhaps Becky could do THAT. Couch surf with Joyce’s friends until she secures a job and saves up enough to get an apartment.
Couch surfing’s much harder to do within a dorm environment, especially a single wing of one dorm. Joyce doesn’t have the web of campus friendships to support that long term, she’s only a first-semester freshman.
I think you mean Joyce, not Dorothy. But yes, Sarah does tend to be the rational one most of the time. Only falls apart when she’s trying to deal with her own issues.
Honestly, I think she was just being over dramatic in that comment. Sarah has given enough evidence to show that she doesn’t like making friends. (honestly, I think she DOES want friends) I think Joyce was commenting on that, saying that Becky and Sarah are not the same person with the same feelings about the world.
The problem being, Sarah doesn’t show it well or often enough, and has been staying outside of Joyce and Becky’s interactions until only just recently. Her flaw (and there’s nothing inherently wrong with having one, as it is part and parcel with the human condition) is that she is a bit withdrawn thanks to the events of her freshman year. This makes it difficult to actually serve as the voice of reason, which requires you to speak up.
Plus, this isn’t a moment I’d expect perfect reasoning out of Joyce.
Actually, Sarah’s been pretty pleasant and social the last week or so, things with Jacob fell apart but that wasn’t entirely her fault he was pretty rude about everything. She’s been very acomidating about Becky and it’s only been a day or two since she showed up.
Can we please be reminded of the fact that Sarah has been suspicious and accusatory towards Becky for like, her entire stay? Joyce probably thinks that Sarah hates Becky, and actually does want to get rid of her. Her technique, not the best, but it’s true. Joyce is extremely protective of Becky, and it looked like Sarah was attacking her, again.
Loading ...
“WHY DON’T I JUST STAB HER HEART OUT AND EAT IT RAW WHILE I’M AT IT AND TAKE A BIG FAT POOP ON HER BODY AND SAVE TIME”
“that is too much sarcasm”
…
“or maybe just enough”
Raw? Anyone with good taste knows that medium rare is best when it comes to hearts.
Personally, I prefer it ground. Nothing like a good chili con cardiac.
It’s a hearty meal.
It really gets your blood pumping.
It just can’t beat it.
The pressure of heart puns.
Cardiological puns; they really get to the heart of the matter.
Some of these puns are bloody awful.
Yet they continue to circulate.
I actually enjoy threads in this vein.
I dunno, they seem too im-pulse-ive. I’d prefer to chamber this discussion for a few beats.
I don’t know if its art-ery, but I like it.
They really do make me laugh to my coeur.
It’s pericardelicious!
And a heart-healthy meal.
Yeah, I know, late to the party. I forgot to check the site last night.
Wouldn’t having a chilli con cardiac lead to an arrest?
Leave raw consumption of hearts to the General Butt Nakeds of the world.
*calls 911*
“Wait, wait, sir, you overheard this heart-eating plan on the Internet?”
“Yes’m”
*dial tone*
Calls 24 hour news station
“Wait, wait, sir, you overheard this heart-eating plan on the Internet?”
“Yes’m”
“Berny stop the presses we got a big scoop
“A liberal webcomic is evil. This has been Fox News at 11.”
Well, bleeding heart liberals
I’ve often wondered about that phrase. The implication is clearly that hearts with blood in them are specific to a single ideological leaning. If you carve open a conservative, what do you find? A lump of coal? Spiders? An empty void? And what about moderates? Some kind of pendulum or metronome, always swinging back and forth?
You find a clockwork orange.
The spiders are found in the girls, remember?
Nope gotta be raw, and preferably still twitching a bit. It loses a lot of nutrition if it sits too long, like long enough to cool halfway between live body and room temperature.
Can I have mine well done?
Trust me, that’s no good. Smoked heart is great, though.
Do you have a surprisingly long amount of time?
One Valentines Day, my then-partner and I tried cooking stuffed pork hearts. They were good, but good… eventually. Heart does not cook fast.
Well, considering that it’s a muscle that it used literally every second of your life, I’d say it’s a safe bet that it would be pretty tough.
Or every other second, if you’re a very fit athlete or a very experienced meditator…
Though, according to a wonderful website, healthy pigs have a heart rate between 70 and 120 bpm! Elephants are between 25 and 35, and anesthetized Rhesus monkeys have between 160 and 330 beats per minute. I have learned something today….
I’ve had marinaded ox heart before (in a salad w/ watercress and pickled walnuts, delicious!). I think a good marinade may help soften the meat.
But then you’d have heart burn…
If you’re not causing your friend serious emotional conflict then it’s not really friendship.
As opposed to ripping her heart right out of her ribcage with her bare hands and throwing it on the floor and stomping on it ’til she dies?
You’ve been stranded all alone at the gas station of love, and have to use the self-service pumps, amirite?
Can I get your autograph, Mr. Yankovic?
You’re doing CPR wrong.
Sisterssss.
Personal Growth: Sarah Edition
+ your avatar
LISTEN TO SARAH, JOYCE. PLEASE LISTEN TO SARAH.
Yeah, let’s go with the misanthropic, terminally bitter woman, rather than the one who shows promise of being really cool once she’s had a little while to get her shit together. Good plan there, ace.
Her bitterness isn’t terminal until she kills herself apatheticly.
Do YOU think it is healthy to live with someone you are unrequitedly in love with?
Fair enough, but I’m just saying that Joyce DOES need to take Becky’s feelings for her into account. I’m not saying that they should kick Becky out. In no way am I saying that. But, Joyce does need to acknowledge this aspect of the situation.
I think Joyce is partly in denial because she sees the situation as pretty hopeless. I mean, unless something happens, we all know that harsh reality will come crashing in and bad times plus heart breaking feels will rock us all.
It’s not a matter of choosing between them; what Sarah is telling her is to listen to Becky’s requests about time apart, and why it’s important to do so.
Sarah: The Becky Whisperer
She has strong gaydar, it’s her superpower.
I thought Sarcasm was her superpower.
Maybe sarcasm is just her
anti-drughobby.Sarah IS sarcasm. Sarcasm incarnate.
Now I’m noticing “Sarah” and “Sarcasm” have a lot of letters in common.
Coincidence ?
…
Yeah, probably a coincidence.
Sarahcasm
That sounds like something brought about by other Jacob.
I thought Sarcasm was Mike’s superpower? Or maybe the Sal’s maths teacher? His name could be Sir Casm. 😛
Mike’s a jackass more than anything.
That’s a Sarah-gasm. Easy to confuse.
Easy, yes, but it is important to keep clear which is which: Sarah-casm / Sarah-gasm; Sal-casm / Sal-gasm. Its tricky sometimes because the preview of Head of the Class features the former, with indications there will be the later.
Sarah’s power is sarcasm.
Mike’s is sensing cognitive dissonance (he also has a preternatural talent for then striking at that particular point).
Sal’s power is the power of Cool.
Marcie’s power is immunity to Sal’s power.
Walky’s power is abs of sculpted caramel.
Man, she must feel ripped off, I mean that would be a useful power for Becky, but I don’t see Sarah getting a lot of use out of it.
Most useless X-Man ever.
Magneto: I AM MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNET!
Storm: Magneto’s trapped us all in spheres of metal!
Professor X: Perhaps our newest recruit can save us! Gaydar, use you mutant gifts!
Gaydar:…Northstar is gay!
Northstar:…Well, she’s right.
*X-Men are deathified*
Still more useful than Cypher.
I think you may have skipped the more recent New Mutants run (starts after Utopia). Cypher got… interesting.
Honestly, I quit reading dead-tree comics in the mid-’90s, but not long ago went and looked up a bunch of stuff for a Marvel RPG I was playing in, and, reading up on recent plotlines, came to the conclusion that pretty much everything that happened after I quit reading them is stupid and doesn’t exist in my universe.
“Still more useful than Cypher,” was a running gag in that game.
Though it’s not really fair. Cypher is incredibly useful. He just has absolutely no business being sent out to punch bad guys.
Magneto is gay, and I always got the feeling he and Xavier had… history together. The kind you would need ellipses when descussing.
If anything they’re bi. Mags losing his wife is kinda important to his backstory and even his clone was getting it on with the ladies.
I’m absolutely convinced the movie versions of Magneto and Xavier would bang in a minute if either one would come over to the other’s way of thinking.
Are you an Olympian? Because you sure are jumping to conclusions.
That sure did escalate quickly.
It’s all Becks fault, dang it Becky.
Hey, Sarah stole Joyce’s catchphrase!
Sisterhood of the Sarcastic Pants
That has to be the title of DoA Book 5
Why you gotta exclude poor pantsless Billie like that?
Sisterhood of the Sarcastic Panties? :3
Nothin like a dose of reality Sarah style to round off a day, eh?
It’s like being lactose intolerant but you love cheese and then your heartaches because you’ve been friendzoned harder than Han Solo in carbonite.
…I really hate the word “friendzone”.
Ditto. That is all.
why do you dislike it? it is an accurate word to describe a concept that happens to just about any person who looks for a relationship with people of their desired sexual and or romantic gender(s). It is a clever phrase without the intensity of “unrequited love” or the negativity of “rejection” and it opens up the possibility for friendship which indicates that the person is still interested in being in a relationship with that person, even if dating/sex is off the table.
The only issue I have is when people blame the friend “I can’t believe he friendzoned me, he is such a jerk I did so much for him” because simply put that is not the friend zone, if it is then that’s a crappy friend who doesn’t understand the value of putting work into a friendship and doesn’t respect the choices of their supposed “friend”
Probably because that issue of yours is how it is most commonly used. It inherently carries “rejection” around with it. People aren’t “friend zoned” because it’s a place they wanted to be. Nobody came up with that term to say “hey, we’re just friends and I’m cool with that.” Nobody uses it about themselves as a means of expressing how cool it is. It is inherently about people thinking they deserve another person’s submission to their desires. It has nothing to do with accepting someone else for what they are or respecting them
I’d torch that phrase at the stake if it wasn’t… like… physically impossible.
okay well, then it would just be replaced with a different word, yeah it might be used that way a lot, I just don’t see how butchering words until we run out helps anything. its like how every word for mentally challenged gets turned into an insult (many common insults were once actually the go to socially acceptable term) if we treat the word as the problem then the attitudes and behaviors of those who use the word will just move on to the next one. yeah the idea of the friendzone was never meant to be pleasant, I have been friendzoned before and wasn’t happy about it, I just didn’t blame the other person for expressing there own desires and I continued being friends with them because I honestly enjoyed there company. (one of my best RL friends now is someone I used to have a crush on, she is married now and we still text and hangout and I am happy that I still have that even now that a relationship would be impossible) I don’t know the statistics on how the term is used from one person to the next, or whether it is even used correctly, but saying the word is bad doesn’t fix anything, people have been pissed off about being rejected since long before the Friends sitcom.
btw I am not saying your wrong I honestly just wanted to express my thoughts on it.
What I don’t like is how the term gets used as a place you want to run away from, since you won’t find what you wanted there – and that it reflects badly on you if you stay. There’s nothing positive about the term, even though there are plenty of positives in a friendship (once you get past the sting of any unrequited love, so to speak). It’s kinda baked into the term for me, so I don’t like the term, and simply don’t use it.
Huh, my thoughts on this were harder to describe than I anticipated. Let me put it this way. You know how there are terms you don’t like to use – that you just don’t plain like at all? This is one of them for me.
Yes. Being friends with someone is genuinely a good thing, and given how often we switch partners before finding the right one – and how rarely we switch friends / how few friends we have – you are probably better being friends with someone than being lovers ( unless it’s your soulmate! But they probably wouldn’t have rejected you like undercooked meat served up to a vegan “I’m sorry ma’am, I’ll have none of that!”).
Problem is, a lot of people don’t “move to friends” after the rejection. They hang on the possibility that in the future they may get what they want, and spend a ridiculous amount of time and resources on a person that simply doesn’t return their level of affection, and they do it for all the wrong reasons.
That’s why its bad to be in the friendZone and good to be friends.
It’s just really unfortunate guys or girls don’t get the hint when being rejected, because the “I’ll hang around and be nice and my niceness will earn me a sexual relationship ” ( I’m paraphrasing the super creepy line I hear from people in the friendzone) is wrong and unhealthy.
It’s not an accurate anything. It’s a word used by guys to describe a place they pretend exists when a girl isn’t attracted to them and rebuffs their advances. There’s no friend zone. If someone wants to date a friend, they do. The best relationships start as friends- and stay friends. If a girl shoots you down, you don’t inhabit some magical place, she just isn’t into you. I have never turned down a date because I was afraid I’d “ruin our friendship.” But if I had a dollar for every time I said “I just want to be friends,” because I couldn’t bring myself to say, “I don’t want to talk to you again- ever,” I’d be loaded. I talk to zero of those guys now. Zero. A few tried to keep in touch. Then I got to hear how I’m a b for having the nerve to not want to date such “good guys.” ::eyeroll::
I’m really sorry you had to go through that that often. That sounds awful.
Yeah, that’s my biggest issue with “friendzone” as well. The way it presumes a lot of entitlement that a relationship was owed and that being a friend is some sort of punishment instead of something really important and awesome in its own right.
Heck, I had a situation recently with a friend where my brain suddenly started having really big romantic feelings towards them and I let them know about it. That particular dimension wasn’t shared, but the fact that we’re still able to have our great friend dynamic and that they are understanding of the fact that sometimes I blush a lot when we’re hanging out because of brain feelings is really awesome and it sucks that there’s such a culture of toxic masculinity that sees such an awesome thing as bad simply because having feelings requited feels expected to them and worse yet, sees it as an invitation to punish the person offering that awesome thing or as a delayed bookmark in what they feel they are “owed”.
And I feel is what often leads to “friendships breaking off due to unrequited feelings” because the worry that someone is going to get like that if they reject someone is built on all the bad experiences with the toxic people who tend to use words like “friendzone” the most.
I’m pretty sure nobody thinks “the friendzone” is a literal place, I meant its ORIGINAL definition didn’t even have to do with rejection a lot of people were (and some today are) in a friendship that they are afraid to take further or admit that they are into the person, or if they were “rejected” (“lets just be friends” kind not “fuck off loser” kind) they may have decided to be friends after the rejection because to paraphrase “becky is in love with you, but you don’t love her back the same way, so she wants to be with you all the time yet when she is, it hurts” being a friend is a great thing, but being rejected by someone you like hurts, you can eventually move past those feelings and be great friends again, but you can’t always just shut your feelings off. yes its bad that people use it as a term to describes rejection and tries to use pity or guilt tactics (“I was nice to her, I did her favors she owes me”) it RUINS the term, it makes people like the ones in this thread think the word itself is the problem, but what next, we come up with a new term and people hijack that? theirs no politically correct “I am in a friendship and want to be more but a. I am too shy to go further or b. a full on relationship with me is not what that person wants” I myself have never actually been rejected because I have always been too nervous to actually ask
(which is a failing on my part that I am trying to work on) the people I am into untill its too late (they get a new boyfriend) and I just be friends because the reason I wanted to pursue her was that I liked spending time with her. not because I wanted to “get into her pants” I honestly think I have fit into the actual original definition a few different times and others have as well. and any hijacking misuse of the term should be considered that.
Sorry, it’s been hijacked by PUA/MRA types.
this is the best answer so far. ^^
Hey if she’s on the streets she can become queen of the hobos! Not the greatest destiny but it could be worse.
Hey, if Joyce can be queen of the drunks, Becky can be queen of the hobos.
The war between the Kingdom of the Drunks and the Kingdom of the Hobos was a terrible one, not least because the drunks kept passing out and not turning up to battles, causing to go on far longer than it really should have.
The biggest problem, though. was the number of people who couldn’t figure out which side they were supposed to be on.
“I’m sitting on a street corner drinking Midnight Hobo out of a paper bag! Who do I fight for?”
People could change sides as many as four or five times a fight especially in some near them jostled them, causing the spill their drink. It made it especially hard to work who actually won any give fight, or even work out where the battle-lines were.
Of course a damn rat would have first-hand accounts of the battles.
Not just any damn rat! It could only be that damn rat.
Desertion was rampant, with many of the Drunks joining the ranks of the Homeless.
The war was eventually decided by the success of Operation Intervention, which further depleted the ranks of the Drunks.
Unfortunately the records of the events that transpired are no less confusing than the actual events, as the only existing pictures of the war were taken by a high school dropout and amateur photographer whose borrowed camera would capture some of the war’s blurriest, most poorly framed moments.
Millenium hand and shrimp.
You’re not a proper hobo if you haven’t carried a bindle and ridden the rails for free. The latter’s gotten pretty tricky to pull off in this day and age.
And may I congratulate Urban Dictionary for getting the definition of bindlestiff right when every other online dictionary thinks it’s synonymous with hobo or tramp.
*Dislike for Sarah intensifies*
Because she explained Becky’s feelings to Joyce?
Mostly it’s how she always decides to go about it in the most tactless, bluntest way possible. Granted, she’s comparatively not as bad about it here.
Tact is time-consuming; Bluntness is brief.
She’s not even close to Mike for tactlessness.
Mike just doesn’t care about tact.
Tact doesn’t work on Joyce. Be straight forward or it won’t work at all.
*looks around for a George Thorogood album*
This one fit the bill? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISmgOrhELXs
One of them. 🙂
Somehow I feel like Sarah might know this feeling she’s describing personally. I don’t know who she loves or used to love, but that sounds like a woman who’s been there, done that.
Yeah, I thought so, too. It would explain why she’s so guarded.
I could hazard a guess.
Her old roomate ? naah.
It’s possible to recognize that pattern of behavior and pain of unrequited feelings without having experienced it before yourself. It is an extremely common plot line or story device in just about all forms of entertainment and media.
I recall she noticed Ethan was gay before being told, too.
If you don’t look too hard at the last panel, it looks like Sarah is holding the [POOP] sign.
…and there’s something rounded and brownish poking out beneath panel two.
No way that’s a coincidence, there.
the edge of the p got cut off so it now looks like it says poof too. pretty sure that’s a coincidence though.
Well, the toilet might as well be making things go ‘poof’, as far as most people are concerned.
Awfully perceptive Sarah there. Wonder if she’s had some unrequited love issues of her own in the past.
That Poop sign needs to be available to purchase.
Get on it, Willis.
You’re in luck! Chris Yates made them and Topatoco sells them!
poop!
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=YAT-POOPSIGN&Category_Code=GIFTS
Hmm. That’s an interesting AT-ST mini, but I don’t get why it’s piloted by a Mon Calamari.
Because *Admiral Ackbar voice* “IT’S A CRAP!”
I don’t think Sarah watched much Mister Rogers growing up…
And it’s the glorious return of “exactly what you said, but without being sarcastic”! Though remaining a bit sarcastic, because this is Sarah.
(I feel like this conversation is going to take a sharp turn into the “what are Becky’s long-term plans” in the next strip. It’s a very plausible lead-in here.)
I understood that more like ‘ok, maybe I don’t actually want to “just throw her out into the streets” ‘
I’m surprised it hasn’t come up already, although it’s been about a day or two in comic time & the majority of characters aren’t mean enough to figure out how to get rid of people that quickly.
It’s not hard, actually – you just have to be pretty cold to actually do it. Especially when we’re talking about a best friend.
Sarah’s good at cold, and realistic enough to know that the current situation can’t continue. Becky’s situation sucks and isn’t her fault, but Joyce simply isn’t in a position to give her a place to live for very long. Really need to get that girl into the local shelter system and start the job hunting process.
Wish I thought there was a chance that Becky’s father has realized what his bigotry will cost him and decided to put his daughter first, but that’s too much of a story book twist for DoA.
Re: my comment on becky doing all the invite alone from last time.
Well.. ok, that explains things ._.
Sarah gave Joyce a little bit of knowledge, and Joyce doesn’t listen and somehow gets something totally different? That’s a skill.
Nono, she got it. But she reacts that way probably because she’s mad at herself for not realizing it sooner. That and the fact that she can’t really do anything about it.
So sarcasm has become Joyce’s defense mechanism. Sarah’s rubbing off on her.
Sarah was worried about the world changing Joyce. Sarah should be worried that she is changing Joyce.
The only things never changing are the dead.
That’s technically untrue. I’m pretty sure decomposition counts as a pretty significant change-
Technical truths, the best truths 😀
Heh, you actually change faster when you’re dead for that very reason, of you ask me.
That old myth is only true in the short term, even in technical terms. There’s very little decay going on past the first 10-12 years after death. Compare that to the volume of dynamically balanced chemical activity in a living body, especially during the first couple of decades of growth. It’s dying embers versus a raging furnace once your corpse has rotted down to the bones.
Best definition of living — ie, the one that i like best — is processes maintaining body in disequilibrium from the environment. Death = processes stop, body goes to equilibrium. (Something . Like that)
Ah, nothing more refreshing than a Sarah-style reality check.
It’s always good to have someone like Sarah who is not afraid to be honest and is smart enough to see things as they truly are.
And I doubt she would throw Becky out…yet.
No, but she knows that they may not have much time before they’re forced to do so. Someone (Mary?) will narc Becky to Ruth, or Ruth’s superiors, and she’s forced out of the dorms. Better be ready for that – look for a job (good luck), arrange a bed in a shelter, and she ought to be talking to a lawyer about forcing support out of her father, along with any college funds that were supposed to be in her name.
Can she force much, if any, support from her father at her age? I had a friend in college who had recently had a brain tumor removed, and was on meds to control the seizures. One day, her father kicked her off his health insurance plan (he never was a very caring father). As I recall, there was precious little she could do about it.
I hope your friend consulted a lawyer about that rather than trusting the insurance company. It might have been legit depending on her age and where they lived, but some places extend parental health care support all the way to age 21, or even beyond that in the case of existing conditions that are severe enough to prevent you from working.
Doubt it. Her life had already been flipped upside-down and shaken; it was all she could do to just stay in school. She really didn’t need another battle to fight.
I do not like this so-called “father”. I do not like him at all. No i do not.
She’s already 18, he no longer owes her anything in regards to support.
From what I can see of Indiana law, Becky’s eligible to demand support from her father (sole parent, right?) until age 19, or until a court declares her emancipated at his request. They might grant him that since she’s no longer under parental control, but it’s not a guarantee.
Poor Joyce is having such a difficult time grasping this.
I still want to see Becky go out with Diana at least once just for the maximum level of awkward reactions.
With who?
Probably related to Blake.
*Face-palm* Typo… meant to type “Dina.” Gah…
If it makes you feel any better, I read it as “Dina” until noticing the replies.
Sorry, couldn’t resist needling you.
The IDS editor, the lesbian one with all the sexual frustration. Except her name is Daisy, and she really needed a girlfriend about two weeks ago. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/legitimate/
Daisy probably still needs a girlfriend, it’s been a running gag forever. Hmmm. Wonder how she feels about redheads?
Do you mean Daisy…?
I love the dawning realization look Joyce gets on her face whenever she learns something about the world in general…though wonder if she’ll apoligize to Walky about her comments regarding love
It’d be like Nathan Explosion trying to say he’s sorry. Or something akin to that, just less internal organ haemorrhaging.
Ah, Sarah. Every time you stop being one of my favorite characters, you do something which brings you right back to the top.
She reminded me about this matter. I have to appreciate her no-nonsense approach to perceiving people’s insecurities & their masking.
I really hope that at some point Willis will have a storyline that focuses on Sarah and the fixing of her old friendships.
I’d gladly settle for her fixing with Jacob
Those two stories could very easily be connected! I’d also love to see more of Sarah . . .
I don’t know about those ever being fixed, per se – too much has been said than cannot be unsaid. But, she may be able to at least establish peace with them. That would be a huge improvement for Sarah.
Jacob and Sarah had one very brief argument following their encounter with Amazi-Girl and haven’t spoken since. Before that they’d barely gotten past the casual talking stage of things, and I’m not sure Jacob even registered that she’s lusting after him – he seems a little blind in that area. Both of them were pretty nasty with one another, but hardly enough to make a relationship irreparable even at their tender young age.
Still plenty of room for the two them to mutually decide to hit the Reset Button and try again. Whether they can get around Sarah’s defensive personality traits is questionable, but it might happen. Of course, there’s also the possibility for further complications from Jacob’s end. If any of the addiction issue he had in Shortpacked translated to DoA that could be a major issue.
Oh, whoops, I was talking about Raidah and the rest of her crew.
Oh, them. Sorry, misunderstood. I’m not sure that situation’s unrecoverable either, especially with Raidah (who seems more rational than the rest). If/when Dana gets cleaned up and deals with her grief she might have some thanks for Sarah, and that would go a long ways towards repairing her rep with the sophomores. Dana’s other friends were letting her destroy herself because they couldn’t see the whole picture, and the basis for hating Sarah is mostly based on her being a narc rather than a potential lifesaver.
No Joyce wouldn’t even kid about that.
What you said but without being overdramatic about it
Poor Joyce, even doing the right thing ends up hurting people. Don’t worry girl things will get better…eventually, and honestly they are probably going to get worse here pretty soon.
Very probably. http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/118294181587/august-15
What emotion is that???
So as a gay guy who fell in love with a straight friend, I can understand Becky’s plight. I even dated mine for a bit but he eventually broke it off. I still love him, and spending time with him is one of the few things that continues to make me happy, but it really can be hard to look at him and be forced to tell myself that I can’t be with him.
Oh come on. Joyce is trying, dammit, and Sarah’s gotta be a Negative Nancy about it.
I’d just like to point out that Joyce was the one who brought up throwing Sarah out. Sarah’s all like “hey here’s some perspective on your friend’s emotional baggage” and Joyce went and slippery-sloped her!
I think it’s less slippery-slope and more that Joyce is both hypersensitive to any intimation of kicking Becky out, reading that interpretation into what Sarah said even when it’s not there. Plus either she didn’t think about how it hurts to be around someone who doesn’t love you back, or she still hasn’t quite absorbed that being gay can involve, y’know, actual love and not just grinding similar sets of genitals at each other.
Joyce seems to be under a lot of stress since the previous page.
Wonder if she’s regretting the party idea now ?
That was my take as well. I think Joyce very much does not want to think too closely about Becky’s feelings toward her.
Good luck throwing Sarah out… 😛
She has a baaaaaaaat !
goddammit
Sarah lays down some emotional understanding knowledge. APPLY IT IN YOUR LIFE GIRL.
Isn’t it frustrating when your ability to understand others’ problems exceeds your ability to understand your own?
Ahh, Sarah. I can always rely on you to deliver the brutal truth people need to hear sometimes.
That’s Sarah’s biggest problem. There aren’t two of her, so no one is around to brutal truth her back.
The mirror has so far proven ineffective, too.
Wheres mike? Brutal truths delivered brutally; extra assholery at no charge.
“Why don’t we just take Becky and push her somewhere else?!” I couldn’t not think of that with that last panel.
You know what? I don’t blame Sarah in this situation. When I lived with a room mate, one would pull this shit all the time by having people come and stay with us all the time without consulting. Let alone in this case where they are literally in the same room
That gets old real fast, but in Becky’s case I’d have let it slide while she hunted for a job and another place to stay. Not exactly the usual “friend from high school come visiting” or “this is the live-in girlfriend of the week” kind of thing. And really, Sarah’s just being realistic, sooner or later the Powers That Be will notice Becky and force her out of the dorm.
Sarah, the advice giver for when Morgan Freemon isn’t available ( not yet available in kind old man edition).
I know it’s really crappy for Joyce and Becky, but friendZone + hang out all the time is super unhealthy for Becky. I hope Joyce gives her enough space to move on properly and grow enough emotionally to be friends without just being friendZoned.
Also, Joyce needs to realize she isn’t responsible for other people’s emotional wellbeing. Doing the right thing and sacrificing yourself for someone else aren’t necessarily the same thing, or as my favorite stewardess says “you have to make sure your own mask is secure before helping someone else.”
Apropos of nothing, I can never see Morgan Freeman without thinking of him as a (much younger and oddly Western-themed) Petruchio in Taming of the Shrew. Saw him on stage in that role way back in 1990 and it’s stuck forever. Made the ending of South Park: Stick of Truth even more surreal for me.
Joyce really has trouble with complexity and mid-range emotions, doesn’t she? Feeling conflicted about a situation or a situation having good and bad elements or behavior having good or bad elements, especially her own behavior. This connects to how she internalized Roz’s statements as meaning that she was personally responsible for all cultural homophobia everywhere and overcompensating for it by beating herself up way too much.
It leads to her doing some very brave moral acts (standing up against her parents for Dorothy, making sure Becky doesn’t end up on the street, breaking up with Ethan, etc…), but also means she has a hard time with subtler hard situations that don’t require big dramatic actions (like here).
Cause Sarah is correct in her innocent statement here. Becky wants to spend time with Joyce and Joyce is totally doing a good thing, but Becky is also going to want to spend some time alone:
a) because spending some time apart is healthy in any relationship (romantic, sexual, platonic, etc…) to keep it from becoming overly co-dependent,
b) because Sarah is on point that spending all of Becky’s time with Joyce is painful for Becky because that didn’t go the way she hoped,
c) because Sarah is very on point that spending some time apart is a very healthy for Becky to do in order to process that hurt in a way that isn’t toxic and protect the friendship and do right by it, and
d) because part of that moving on and her self-discovery is going to ideally (for Becky) include connecting more with her queer identity and community and that is still something that feels awkward for Joyce and which Joyce sometimes pushes back on a lot (even though she doesn’t intend to).
And that’s all going to be super important because while Becky is going to be very down with being that rock and protector to help Joyce regain some power after her assault (like she’s doing now), she will still need space occasionally and its going to result in far less friction if Joyce doesn’t take that personally like she has every time Becky has not been around (look back at the big absences (the Women Studies class, the hallway wander this morning, and now), each one has either led to an argument between the two or Joyce feeling really sad, down, and abandoned. That’s really not healthy).
And it also creates friction here because Sarah noting a reality and the healthy way Becky is handling it hits Joyce’s lack of middle gears and so Joyce can only interpret it as either “I’m a terrible person who is hurting Becky with my meanness” or like she has here “Sarah is being a mean poopy-head who thinks that my friend needs to be thrown onto the streets in front of a passing car”, when the real answer is probably more on the lines of “oh yeah, I’ll try and not take Becky wandering off on occasion so personally just because I rely so much on the presence of friends and others for a sense of safety”.
Good analysis. +1
Cerberus why are all your posts so awesomely analytical and informative?
You’re making us all look bad. We can’t compete.
It gives us something to strive to
Yes, we should all strive to be like this:
http://dawnlennon.rbharddrive.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/cerberus_1024x768.jpg?w=300
Someone has used more sarcasm than Sarah in the same sentence! It’s the end of the days! THE END OF DAYSSSSS (those are called nights, btw)!!!!
And that was the moment Sarah became one of my favourites.
Universe will collapse soon if Joyce is more sarcastic than Sarah in the comic…
I love that “Exactly what you just said, but without being sarcastic” is becoming a thing. I’ve already started using it in my life.
I hope it becomes a book title, at some point.
Pfeh, screw this requirement for reciprocal feelings. Should asexual people not have relationships with sexual people because their desires are different? Of course not! Joyce wants to be close with her friend and Becky wants to be close with her crush+friend. So what if there’s some hurt? That’s a given with any relationship. How the hurt should be valued should be up to Becky, either way.
Yes, exactly– that’s why Becky is distancing herself from Joyce at the moment. Sarah believes Becky has realized, at least subconsciously, that the pain outweighs the joy– and so Sarah is pointing out to Joyce that spending time with Becky now would hurt more than help.
Ever go through a rejection and/or breakup where you find yourself regularly visiting their Facebook or Twitter pages even though it hurts to do so? You don’t really get to start healing until you stop visiting those pages to give yourself some space, whether by being distracted from them or by simply making the conscious realization that you are gaining nothing but pain out of each visit. Becky’s in a similar situation, taken to an extreme case.
People need time and distance to heal after that kind of event, but Becky can’t get much of it in the current situation! So she gets herself a little distance right now, while she has an excuse to do so– without overtly saying to Joyce that “I need to get myself away from you because your presence hurts me terribly.” Pretty tactful, considering.
Yet the pain will damage the friendship if it’s not dealt with. That’s why having some space initially, to allow for one party to get over their crush or unrequited love, is so valuable. True, the other party is under no obligation to do that, but part of a friendship is caring for the wellbeing of your friend, so it would be nice.
While I concur that finding another place for Becky to live is probably nicer to prevent the slow creep of resentment that comes from jilted love syndrome, I think kickin’ her out MIGHT be a tad harsh Sarah, which is probably why Joyce was being sarcastic.
So was Sarah.
But just a little. 8)
I agreed with Sarah all the way up until the ‘lets kick her out’ part. Becky has nowhere to go. Though, Sarah could be suggesting finding a different friend of theirs to take her in. But that would be asking a lot of that friend. The only person I can think of who MIGHT be willing to do that is Sal, but only because Billie is never around. That means that there is a bed for Becky.
Now, I had a friend who was kicked out of her home and had nowhere to go, so she couch surfed for a while until she found an apartment. I let her crash on my couch multiple times. Perhaps Becky could do THAT. Couch surf with Joyce’s friends until she secures a job and saves up enough to get an apartment.
Couch surfing’s much harder to do within a dorm environment, especially a single wing of one dorm. Joyce doesn’t have the web of campus friendships to support that long term, she’s only a first-semester freshman.
Sarah’s not seriously suggesting throwing Becky out, hence her second speech bubble in the last panel.
I can’t believe Dorothy thinks Sarah hates her.
Sarah is definitely the character that cares the most about her in this entire story.
Sarah is always the voice of reason. I like her.
I think you mean Joyce, not Dorothy. But yes, Sarah does tend to be the rational one most of the time. Only falls apart when she’s trying to deal with her own issues.
I absolutely meant Joyce, and I have no idea why this slip up happened.
Honestly, I think she was just being over dramatic in that comment. Sarah has given enough evidence to show that she doesn’t like making friends. (honestly, I think she DOES want friends) I think Joyce was commenting on that, saying that Becky and Sarah are not the same person with the same feelings about the world.
I could be wrong though.
I think Sarah doesn’t want to be hurt by the people she cares about, so distances herself from people, yeah…
I was like her before.
The problem being, Sarah doesn’t show it well or often enough, and has been staying outside of Joyce and Becky’s interactions until only just recently. Her flaw (and there’s nothing inherently wrong with having one, as it is part and parcel with the human condition) is that she is a bit withdrawn thanks to the events of her freshman year. This makes it difficult to actually serve as the voice of reason, which requires you to speak up.
Plus, this isn’t a moment I’d expect perfect reasoning out of Joyce.
Actually, Sarah’s been pretty pleasant and social the last week or so, things with Jacob fell apart but that wasn’t entirely her fault he was pretty rude about everything. She’s been very acomidating about Becky and it’s only been a day or two since she showed up.
Can we please be reminded of the fact that Sarah has been suspicious and accusatory towards Becky for like, her entire stay? Joyce probably thinks that Sarah hates Becky, and actually does want to get rid of her. Her technique, not the best, but it’s true. Joyce is extremely protective of Becky, and it looked like Sarah was attacking her, again.
Turn-about is fair play.