Well, that was informative. So kinda “There is no feelings at all, just emptiness” is 1 way to put it. Fair enough. Hope everyone finds their bit of corn…
Even BETTER news, Billie: this will basically be your life from now on for as long as you can be and will be with Ruth. There will be good times, even great times, but there will be times like this where you feel totally helpless in the face of tragedy and brain chemistry. You think you know what depression is, but I think you’re about to learn the damn hard way.
Has Billie professed any particular level of knowledge on the subject of depression?
I got the impression she was in denial of her own mental health issues, but you seem to be implying she’s been marketing herself as the most severe case of depression, invalidating the experiences of those worse off than her. If I’m reading you right.
In the early days of the strip (if you’ll pardon the expression), Billie readily marketed herself as an expert on everything, though obviously far too awesome to be depressed herself, you losers.
She’s been down. She’s felt like crap. And she’s often equated her issues to Ruth’s, because it’s important that she feel less alone in the things she’s going through.
But I don’t think that comparison quite holds, and today’s strip seems to show that. Billie’s first thought, when Ruth starts crying, is that something must’ve happened to MAKE Ruth cry. “What’s WRONG?”
Situational depression versus clinical. Billie has an addiction and sees the world as anything but a starkly divided field of winners and losers– if she’s not one, she’s the other. But just about every time she’s been down, one can point to something in the outer world that immediately provoked it. Her self-destructive tendencies may have provoked the outer world first, but Ruth is a prisoner of her own thoughts and impulses toward sadness even when her outer life appears fine, even enviable. Billie’s not introspective enough to grok that.
Bipolar can totally hit in one’s twenties, but so far there have been no manic episodes to make us think she’s got bipolar. Just soul-crushing depression.
That’s funny, my internet came from Berkeley, CA by way of Washington, DC’s DoD Advanced Research Projects Agency. I only got the GUI part from CERN. I thought they all came that way. Huh. Live and learn.
Maybe at first, but now they’re living organisms, that give birth to clutches of 20 or so every few weeks. Many people keep them as pets. My Internet, Mebo63227, has clutched several times since I got ’em. I just give away the babies to those who make snarky comments on webcomics.
Incidentally, this record is available in the foyer. Some of us have to got live as well, you know. Who do you think pays for all this rubbish? They’re not gonna make their money back, you know. I told them, I said to them, “Bernie,” I said, “they’ll never make their money back…”
Though I think that was an alternate universe version (the one from universe A, or 1, or whichever, in the box). I mean, the main universe version has that whole thing with Pazuzu.
I as well! And I could count the number of episodes of Futurama I’ve watched on one hand!
I really should start bingewatching them though, it seems like a decent show.
“Because after your fat ass was on top of me last night it’s a surprise I’m not in traction”
She wipes the fake tears from her eyes and runs out into the hallway as everyone cheers on the longest set-up/pay-off of a fat joke in college history.
No seriously, when you are coming up from the deepest darkest depths of depression, being able to cry is something you forgot you could do, and it is shocking when it happens.
I actually cry rather frequently, but only as relating to fictional characters. For real life concerns I am in a state of perpetual numbness and existential dread.
Yeah, I can attest that developing a Boehner-like ability to get weepy over ridiculous things was my first sign that drugs and therapy were helping …
… a touch disconcerting at the time …
Indeed, I believe the general public has this stereotype of people with Depression as being teary all the time. But in reality, there’s many of them that are under the steel-grip of apathy.
I’ve had this experience too.
It was scary when I got to the point of suicidal thoughts and getting very, very close to suicide attempts after I’d been on the meds and seeing a therapist for a while. Then I realized that I’d previously been so damn depressed that, while I’d actually wanted to die, I was so apathetic and unmotivated that I couldn’t even manage to come of with a plan to make death happen, let alone execute a plan (no pun intended).
As the meds and therapy started helping I was lifted out of the pit just far enough to actually be able to feel the crushing despair and had enough wherewithal to try and think of the best way to end that despair quickly.
Actually getting better and easing my depression ended up making the depression so intolerable and overwhelming that I didn’t think I could bear living another day. The logical side of my brain knew why that was happening, but the depression riddled side just wanted to end it. To finally get a respite from it.
It was an extremely difficult phase of the illness to get through.
I didn’t cry for 10 years. Then one day I did, opened up a whole outlet of feelings.
Let her cry. Good for her.
Billy bless your hide, you’re there for her even if you don’t quite get it.
Depression is like that, unfortunately. Being so happy you cry is a normal human reaction. Crying is a way of the brain resetting its emotional circuit breakers. For someone with depression, it takes a lot less happy to pop the breakers. So cry it out, Ruth. I’d hug it out with you if it wouldn’t be awkward.
I got it. Though I also agree with the sentiment, hell, I think I’ve left like one comment here, ever, with pants on. (trousers for you UK folks, I still had undahpants)
the slight differences in American English and British English make for weird misunderstandings: for instance, some Americans I gamed with thought I had a dangerously active “love” life because I often went for “a quick fag”. (Fag being a uk term for cigarette )
So good call clarifying that 🙂
Made me chuckle, but a bit bummed that they thought I would refer to people that way.
Ruth’s not down in the dumps, she’s up in the dumps! This is probably the first time she’s felt truly happy in years, what with being clinically depressed, and it’s so surprising the floodgates just opened!
Willis has admitted that the Becky storyline was percolating away for over four years, since the very first strips; well, it’s been 3½ years since he drew that mysterious, one-sided phone call from what appears to be the only person who is able to cow Ruth. Can’t help but think that today’s strip may be somehow connected to this.
Things sure do mooove slowly in Willis land … some of us are likely to put out to pasture before this all over … and in the case of those of us already over the hill, we may be under the pasture!
More to the point, it’ll be then by the time Willis writes the strip in which that happens. However, due to the increasing size of his buffer, the strip won’t be shown until 2075.
The R.A. sits tight at her desk tonight
Only ennui to be seen
A kingdom of depression
And it looks like she’s the queen
The super asks “just what good are you?”
“Hardly any” and I know it’s true
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the R.A., the Beast of Clark Wing
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let her know
Well now she knows
Let it go, let it go
Can’t keep it in anymore
Let it go, let it go
Take a drink, and lock the door
I don’t care ’bout anything
Let them find me dead
In a pool of self-hate and loathing
It’s funny how just one girl
Can change things so
The dread that once filled me
Might start to withdraw
Perhaps I can make a change
At least until she drifts away
I won’t make her mourn me
Not ’til I’m free
Let it go, let it go
I won’t hurt anyone when I die
Let it go, let it go
For me, no one will cry
I’m no good, I know too well
So please, just leave
The more I push her back
The more she pokes and pries
All I want is nothing
Oblivion’s my prize
Her next quote crystallizes
Like an icy blast
“I’m never going back.
Neither of us will last.”
Let it go, let it go
We’re grenades with lost pins
Let it go, let it go
Our departure will make no din
Yet here we stand
With the morning dew
I can’t help but cry
I’m allowed to love you
OK, that’s it. This, the Amazi-Girl theme song from a few strips ago, the “It’s Becky” theme song from a few strips before that (which, not gonna lie, I wrote). WE NEED TO MAKE A DoA ALBUM.
Get some instrumentalists together and I will totes sing for you guys. I’m used to choral singing, but I could go solo on a song or two. (Lower baritone)
….holy shit.
I just wander through the comments section here every now and again while reading the comic, but that slammed right into my brain.
Sir or madam, I salute you.
Ruler of the fair Clark Wing
Who tolerates no whining
The RA about whom we sing
has a frozen heart worth mining.
So cut through the heart, cold and clear
Strike with love despite all your fear
Trust me Billie, you are near
You have made a start
To warm that frozen heart
Hup! Ho!
Watch your step!
Let it go!
Hup! Ho!
Watch your step!
Let it go!
Beautiful!
Powerful!
Dangerous!
Cold!
Ruth is poison
can’t be controlled
The only way to her is in fact,
A sexy lesbian suicide pact! Ho!
Ruth?
Do you wanna do some make-outs?
Let me in and let us play
I don’t know what you’re feeling anymore
Come out the door
Let me see that you’re OK
We are finally together
And everything
Yes, everything should be fine… right?
Do you wanna do some make-outs?
It doesn’t have to be make-outs
I guess the good news is that for once she’s able to let it show in the presence of another person. She feels she can trust Billie. That’s progress on multiple levels.
Wasn’t the first time we saw Ruth writing in a journal when she and Billie made up and got together? It seems like she’s doing write-y things here. 🙂
Way to go Ruth… it’s very difficult to actually be able to cry, to feel deserving of crying, when you’re struggling with traumas, depression and alcoholism. The shame that comes from alcoholism (when in the thros and when you’re trying to recover) makes you feel you aren’t even worth a ants kindness. I know that one from experience… thankfully started coming out of that place the last couple months but it took months of abstaining to get to a point of feeling okay enough to cry.
This is totally random, but every time I see Avast mentioned, I think of Captain Capacitor from Reboot leading the charge on the bridge of the Saucy Marie against a horde of viruses.
The line “That I’m up and that I can cry is good news” is loading with ominous overtones. One way of looking at it, for example, is that one cannot get up, i.e., is grievously (or possibly even terminally) ill; another is that someone for whom you cared for is no longer able to get up and cry.
Willis promised that no one in DoA would die; but let’s just say if he were to have someone — like Ruth — get a message that her (unseen) father had passed or was facing a terminal illness like the big C he could still introduce all the pathos of death and loss without disposing of any of the named cast of characters.
Noted, while re-reading the comments from this strip, that the Voice of God (Willis) stated that neither of Ruth’s parents factor into her life at all. So this can’t be about her dad. However, it could be an older brother or other male authority figure/role model in her life.
Another interesting thing to remember is that when the call came in, Ruth’s phone played “Enter Sandman” by Metallica as the ringtone; a song whose lyrics have been interpreted as referring to dysfunctional or broken families … and in a couple of discussions, even Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Could Ruth have had a child and lost it through SIDS before coming to IU?
Both of Ruth’s parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was 16. She and Howard were brought to the U.S. to live with their grandfather in Carmel. The common assumption since we learned this, and I’ve seen no reason not to believe it, is that it was her grandfather on the phone that time.
A lost baby is an awfully big hypothesis to make given that there’s no evidence whatsoever for it other than a dubious interpretation of a ringtone song, especially since dead babies can’t place phone calls.
And killing off a close family member of one of the main characters would have the same effect that Willis has said that he wants to avoid as killing off a main character – namely, that, given DoA’s time dilation, said character would be in the deepest stages of grief for years and years, our time.
I think Ruth’s comment is explained by her being clinically depressed, such that she herself has been unable – not physically, but mentally and emotionally – to get up, or to bring herself to care enough about anything to cry about it. We have even seen her in this state, when Billie busted into her room after pulling the fire alarm.
I had either missed the reveal (or more likely forgotten it) that her parents were killed by an intoxicated driver. Maybe it was about this time of year that it occurred, and even if we figure Ruth to be a year or two older than the rest of the DoA cast it is still a relatively fresh wound. I believe something like that would be enough to drive me into a state of depression — probably only short-term, but who’s to say?
I agree, relating a ringtone to a hypothesis of a lost baby was a helluva stretch … but then, who saw the end reveal of the Joshua/Jocelyne story coming? I sure didn’t.
(The stylesheet here doesn’t make it clear, so note that every word of that links to a different reference. And I probably didn’t find them all.)
And, yeah, Jocelyne was a bit of an unexpected twist. But it was clear all along that Something Was Up with Joshua, and it’s not much of a stretch from the “he’s gay” that everyone was expecting to “she’s straight”. Willis may be fond of twists, but they’re twists that make all the little things that didn’t quite fit together suddenly make sense, not twists that no one could guess because they came out of nowhere.
Professor Pharnworth’s voice: Goood News every one Willis has decided to sate my fetish and give great quality freckles in multiple pannels and back to back issues. in other new Billies thick body
Glad she can get out of bed and feel an emotion. Not thrilled it’s crying, but man, that’s depression for you. Getting out of bed’s the hard part, everything else is a bonus today.
Right there with you friend. I can’t say I understand what you were/are going through, but if you identify with this situation in particular, we may be in the same lot. I tried to keep my crying from bothering other people. I woke myself up early so I could cry when everyone was still asleep. That got pretty hard when I moved into my dorm and got two roommates. Sometimes I got caught, then I would have to explain or lie. I hated myself when I told the truth. All it did was make other people sad for a bit.
I never wanted to tell others about my depression. My problem should not be theirs. My refusal to let anyone know I was sick only made things worse. I’ve got better, but I still relapse every so often.
I feel guilty talking about this. I want to say i’m sharing all this because when I get really bad, it helps knowing other people have gone through the same thing, and that’s it’s not going to last forever. I want to say that, but a part of my brain keeps telling me I’m just being an attention whore. There may be some truth to that.
I’ll throw my hat in here and say you are definitely not alone. It is very heartening to see so many sympathizing voices on this thread. Depression’s a hell of a thing, something I still struggle with on and off along with chronic illness. Pills can help a little, therapy a little as well, but sometimes there’s not much to do but push through. That said, I’m glad Ruth has someone she can (attempt to) open up to and have support with.
To people who haven’t experienced depression (clinical or otherwise) this is hauntingly familiar. One of the things that happened with me was that I had no emotion. I didn’t have happy–but I didn’t have sad. I didn’t have anger, love, anything. I started wondering out loud if maybe I was a sociopath or a psychopath. I realized that if I was to kill myself or someone else, I wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t matter.
Luckily I was sent to a hospital and got all that sorted. Well. By sorted I mean I got on medications, and now I have my emotions back. Fixing the depression and anxiety is a bit trickier. But honestly, this is really good news for her! This means she’s starting to come out of the depression. I’m not sure if hers is clinical or situational (or both) but this is excellent news. The next step should be going to an Intensive Out-care Program (or In-care. I did IOP, because moving away for a few weeks scared me) and try out something to help with the depression, medication or something else.
Unless of course, the partner in the relationship actually is the catalyst to realize that you need help. The problem here is that Billie might not be the most observant or empathetic person around, and with her own hang-ups, may not be the support structure or catalyst that Ruth needs. Then again, maybe Billie might catch a clue before it’s too late. (Personal experience talking there)
“But Ruth,” Billie said, gently putting a cold hand on her girlfriends tear stained cheek. “It means that Danielle Corsetto will have time for other projects. Who knows what creative masterpieces we will see from her next?”
I know Billie has been described as “A large breasted half-Asian chick,” AND that pretty much qualifies her as cute, but this panel is especially cute.
Loading ...
And now: depressed people.
David Willis Presents
A Damn You Production.
The mascot is a lion crying.
And Now for something Completely Different….wait.
Don’t cry, Aslan. The bus will come eventually.
his rendition of this, played by Ruth.
Well, that was informative. So kinda “There is no feelings at all, just emptiness” is 1 way to put it. Fair enough. Hope everyone finds their bit of corn…
It is my favorite depiction of depression ever. It was so accurate for me, I kind of freaked out the first time I read it.
Even BETTER news, Billie: this will basically be your life from now on for as long as you can be and will be with Ruth. There will be good times, even great times, but there will be times like this where you feel totally helpless in the face of tragedy and brain chemistry. You think you know what depression is, but I think you’re about to learn the damn hard way.
I’m learning that with my boyfriend now… That basicly sums it all up in a sad little package…
Has Billie professed any particular level of knowledge on the subject of depression?
I got the impression she was in denial of her own mental health issues, but you seem to be implying she’s been marketing herself as the most severe case of depression, invalidating the experiences of those worse off than her. If I’m reading you right.
In the early days of the strip (if you’ll pardon the expression), Billie readily marketed herself as an expert on everything, though obviously far too awesome to be depressed herself, you losers.
She’s been down. She’s felt like crap. And she’s often equated her issues to Ruth’s, because it’s important that she feel less alone in the things she’s going through.
But I don’t think that comparison quite holds, and today’s strip seems to show that. Billie’s first thought, when Ruth starts crying, is that something must’ve happened to MAKE Ruth cry. “What’s WRONG?”
Situational depression versus clinical. Billie has an addiction and sees the world as anything but a starkly divided field of winners and losers– if she’s not one, she’s the other. But just about every time she’s been down, one can point to something in the outer world that immediately provoked it. Her self-destructive tendencies may have provoked the outer world first, but Ruth is a prisoner of her own thoughts and impulses toward sadness even when her outer life appears fine, even enviable. Billie’s not introspective enough to grok that.
(Oops “sees the world AS A starkly divided field,” time to stop writing for the night)
No please, continue. You used the word “grok” correctly.
Does Ruth have depression, or manic-depression/bipolar/whatever the medical profession are calling it these days?
Bipolar can totally hit in one’s twenties, but so far there have been no manic episodes to make us think she’s got bipolar. Just soul-crushing depression.
And we’re already off to a great start.
Always looking at the bright side, Ruth.
Well, she’s gotta be down because she wants it all.
It started out with a kiss; how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss!
+1 internets. Great song!
Where do you guys keep getting all these internets from?
CERN.
Winner!
That’s funny, my internet came from Berkeley, CA by way of Washington, DC’s DoD Advanced Research Projects Agency. I only got the GUI part from CERN. I thought they all came that way. Huh. Live and learn.
Maybe at first, but now they’re living organisms, that give birth to clutches of 20 or so every few weeks. Many people keep them as pets. My Internet, Mebo63227, has clutched several times since I got ’em. I just give away the babies to those who make snarky comments on webcomics.
Some things in life are bad.
They can REALLY make you mad!
Other things can make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle,
don’t grumble. Give a whistle!
And this’ll help things turn out for the best.
And…
Always look on the bright side of life!
DO-doo DO-doo doo-DO DO-doo
When life seems jolly rotten,
there’s something you’ve forgotten!
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that’s the thing!
Always look on the bright side of death
Dee doo, dee doo dee doo dee doo
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Dee doo, dee doo dee doo dee doo
Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life’s a laugh, and death’s a joke, it’s true
You’ll see it’s all a show. Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!
C’mon Brian, cheer up!
Worse things happen at sea, y’know.
Incidentally, this record is available in the foyer. Some of us have to got live as well, you know. Who do you think pays for all this rubbish? They’re not gonna make their money back, you know. I told them, I said to them, “Bernie,” I said, “they’ll never make their money back…”
Life’s a laugh, and death’s a joke, its true!
Good news, everyone!
I can’t help but hear that in Prof. Farnsworth’s voice!
Farnsworth made that phrase his own. No one else is allowed to use it any more, ever.
Also see: I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
“The Bible! That’s the real good news!”
Though I think that was an alternate universe version (the one from universe A, or 1, or whichever, in the box). I mean, the main universe version has that whole thing with Pazuzu.
You’ll be delivering a package to Chapek 9, a world where humans are killed on sight!
You’ll be making a delivery to Stumbos 4: A planet with such high gravity you’ll most likely be CRUSHED under the weight of your own hair..Enjoy! XD
I as well! And I could count the number of episodes of Futurama I’ve watched on one hand!
I really should start bingewatching them though, it seems like a decent show.
I don’t have good enough online access/speed to binge Futurama episodes…wait, the library has DVDs! I’ll go check my popcorn supplies…
I’ve taught the toaster to feel love.
I’m being brought up on disciplinary charges! Wait… that’s not good news at all.
That statement works well with your avatar.
“I’ve created a machine that makes you hear everything in my voice.”
And only now did I realize that this was the hovertext.
The Feel Train is still on schedule. *whew*
Hugs?
No, Ruth. Stop being sad.
Ruth?
RUUUUUUUUUTH!!!
*Metal Gear Game Over Screen music plays*
YAY!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ruth this happy.
Hooray.
“Because after your fat ass was on top of me last night it’s a surprise I’m not in traction”
She wipes the fake tears from her eyes and runs out into the hallway as everyone cheers on the longest set-up/pay-off of a fat joke in college history.
High five!
That would be so terribly, hilariously evil.
I can’t help feeling she went for the punchline too early. A couple more years of fake emotional turmoil would have made it much more satisfying.
Billie proceeds to keel over due to high blood pressure. You know, from the ensuing anger.
I don’t know, this seems like part of a bum rap …
¿next line:
“I’m such a loser that doin’ you’se my only source-a action”
Ruth: I am a legend.
You reminded me of http://xkcd.com/1100/
And that in turn reminded me of http://wondermark.com/1k67/…
I remember that Wondermark, I had forgotten about that xkcd though.
Ahem…some of us are predisposed towards such.
A case of when no news is definitely not good news.
I’m sure she’ll smile as soon as she turns around.
I sure hope so! Here Billie is, cuter than ever; you couldn’t blame her for being a bit disappointed at Ruth’s demeanor right now.
Billie, what’s gotten into you? Give her a hug, dammit. No sense at all.
Ruth got into her. Haven’t you read the slipshine?
It’s on the to-do list. o_o;
Billie is crossed off of Ruth’s to-do list.
Younger and faster you are!
They are both still on my “to-do list.”
You don’t ever cross anyone off a “to-do” list. You just move them to the “has-done” list.
… short version — Billie and Ruth are now firmly on each others’ done list …
Though hopefully still on each other’s “To-do-again” list.
Bille “You aren’t supposed to cry, I want a do over!”
“Billie, what’s gotten into you?”
“Besides the size 12 strap-on?”
Isn’t that a bit huge?
Joyce is only like a size six and i would expect Joyce’s choice to be pretty average.
Billie needs MOAR! 😀
Billie looks noticeably less Asian in this strip.
I don’t see it.
…maybe she looks a bit like Lucy from Peanuts, but that just makes me wonder if Lucy was part Asian…
Hey, maybe she can offer Ruth psychiatric help.
Although she’s probably gonna fuck it up.
But it would cost 5 cents and Ruth could buy a whole mom for that.
Ruth FUCKED the asian out of her. Now she’s gained her power like Megaman.
I think she looks totally anime in this strip.
…Is she wearing a Pocahontas nightshirt?
Ummm, no?
No seriously, when you are coming up from the deepest darkest depths of depression, being able to cry is something you forgot you could do, and it is shocking when it happens.
I actually cry rather frequently, but only as relating to fictional characters. For real life concerns I am in a state of perpetual numbness and existential dread.
Yeah, I can attest that developing a Boehner-like ability to get weepy over ridiculous things was my first sign that drugs and therapy were helping …
… a touch disconcerting at the time …
Indeed, I believe the general public has this stereotype of people with Depression as being teary all the time. But in reality, there’s many of them that are under the steel-grip of apathy.
I’ve had this experience too.
It was scary when I got to the point of suicidal thoughts and getting very, very close to suicide attempts after I’d been on the meds and seeing a therapist for a while. Then I realized that I’d previously been so damn depressed that, while I’d actually wanted to die, I was so apathetic and unmotivated that I couldn’t even manage to come of with a plan to make death happen, let alone execute a plan (no pun intended).
As the meds and therapy started helping I was lifted out of the pit just far enough to actually be able to feel the crushing despair and had enough wherewithal to try and think of the best way to end that despair quickly.
Actually getting better and easing my depression ended up making the depression so intolerable and overwhelming that I didn’t think I could bear living another day. The logical side of my brain knew why that was happening, but the depression riddled side just wanted to end it. To finally get a respite from it.
It was an extremely difficult phase of the illness to get through.
Seriously the worst part, yeah.
Good news! You have energy and less apathy!
Bad news: Which means you actually have some ability and motivation to act on the desire not to exist anymore.
MAN I hate depression.
Supposedly, from what I’ve heard, that’s actually why so many antidepressants list suicidal thoughts as a side effect.
I didn’t cry for 10 years. Then one day I did, opened up a whole outlet of feelings.
Let her cry. Good for her.
Billy bless your hide, you’re there for her even if you don’t quite get it.
YES THIS
I only cry about trivial stuff. Never cried at a death or a funeral but I cried when someone said they didn’t wanna be my friend anymore.
What? That last one sounds pretty non-trivial to me.
Comparitively trivial!
Depression is like that, unfortunately. Being so happy you cry is a normal human reaction. Crying is a way of the brain resetting its emotional circuit breakers. For someone with depression, it takes a lot less happy to pop the breakers. So cry it out, Ruth. I’d hug it out with you if it wouldn’t be awkward.
Ah… being glad to feel *something*, even if it’s sadness. I’ve been there. :l
Me too.
Gosh, Willis, how come there aren’t pants-wearing people in this comic anymoar? It should be Numbing of Legs. You know, from the draft.
Kidding aside, I wonder what’s going on. I guess we’ll see soon.
Pants are for squares!
And skirts are for triangles.
Sponge Bob square pants to be exact hahaha (that show will never die Sponge Bob is eternal)
Regrettably. Pants are still overrated though.
Didn’t Timmy’s dad say that once? I want to say… in the episode where Timmy wished that his parents would stop giving a shit?
That’s what I was referencing!
I got it. Though I also agree with the sentiment, hell, I think I’ve left like one comment here, ever, with pants on. (trousers for you UK folks, I still had undahpants)
the slight differences in American English and British English make for weird misunderstandings: for instance, some Americans I gamed with thought I had a dangerously active “love” life because I often went for “a quick fag”. (Fag being a uk term for cigarette )
So good call clarifying that 🙂
Made me chuckle, but a bit bummed that they thought I would refer to people that way.
Oh boy, I be this will be a barrel of laughs!
Like shooting meth in a barrel…
… while going over a waterfall …
…occupied by poo-flinging monkeys.
And then you realize the monkeys were being used to test an unsuccessful vaccine for {pick your ‘favorite’ disease} …
Plasma, who are you this time?
I don’t know who the character was before, I just chose it cos it looked kinda cute.
I think she’s Toko Fukawa from Dangaronpa, which is basically what happens when you combine Ace Attorney with Saw and anime.
Yuk Yuk Yuk!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRCzEqkCoiM
Ruth – start the morning with some sunshine – ditch that Maple Leafs shirt & put that lingerie back on.
Hey, it’s hard to be happy when your team hasn’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967.
Kinda makes you wonder what could have a girl down in the dumps after a night of Billie booty?
Well, it’s obvious: she didn’t have enough libido to continue on longer than she wanted!!!
I don’t want 4 hours of Billie booty I want it all night !
Ruth’s not down in the dumps, she’s up in the dumps! This is probably the first time she’s felt truly happy in years, what with being clinically depressed, and it’s so surprising the floodgates just opened!
Sit on her face until she stops, Billie. One way or the other.
LAST CALL FOR THE THE FEELS VILLE EXPRESS!! ALL ABOARD, CHOO CHOO!!
Regular Ruth is Scarry, Emotional Ruth is terrifying.
Willis has admitted that the Becky storyline was percolating away for over four years, since the very first strips; well, it’s been 3½ years since he drew that mysterious, one-sided phone call from what appears to be the only person who is able to cow Ruth. Can’t help but think that today’s strip may be somehow connected to this.
Things sure do mooove slowly in Willis land … some of us are likely to put out to pasture before this all over … and in the case of those of us already over the hill, we may be under the pasture!
It’ll be 2070 by the time they all graduate from college
More to the point, it’ll be then by the time Willis writes the strip in which that happens. However, due to the increasing size of his buffer, the strip won’t be shown until 2075.
…and I will come back from the dead to find out, dammit! 🙂
Guess I had better invest in some long term life support then….or maybe sign up for that new-fangled cryogenic freezing now.
oh hey yeah totes. good memory!
The feels train is about to come into the station. And Willis is the conductor
Its the Anniversary … of the thing ( thats my guess) .
If you had one , you would know.
Ruth is clearing her sadness backlog.
“Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!
I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!”
What? Someone had to do it……
No, someone didn’t have to… And yet, you did…
Or, I didn’t; you just think I did!
You and everyone else on the goddamn planet.
TWITCH.
The R.A. sits tight at her desk tonight
Only ennui to be seen
A kingdom of depression
And it looks like she’s the queen
The super asks “just what good are you?”
“Hardly any” and I know it’s true
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the R.A., the Beast of Clark Wing
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let her know
Well now she knows
Let it go, let it go
Can’t keep it in anymore
Let it go, let it go
Take a drink, and lock the door
I don’t care ’bout anything
Let them find me dead
In a pool of self-hate and loathing
It’s funny how just one girl
Can change things so
The dread that once filled me
Might start to withdraw
Perhaps I can make a change
At least until she drifts away
I won’t make her mourn me
Not ’til I’m free
Let it go, let it go
I won’t hurt anyone when I die
Let it go, let it go
For me, no one will cry
I’m no good, I know too well
So please, just leave
The more I push her back
The more she pokes and pries
All I want is nothing
Oblivion’s my prize
Her next quote crystallizes
Like an icy blast
“I’m never going back.
Neither of us will last.”
Let it go, let it go
We’re grenades with lost pins
Let it go, let it go
Our departure will make no din
Yet here we stand
With the morning dew
I can’t help but cry
I’m allowed to love you
OK, that’s it. This, the Amazi-Girl theme song from a few strips ago, the “It’s Becky” theme song from a few strips before that (which, not gonna lie, I wrote). WE NEED TO MAKE A DoA ALBUM.
Or a volume of DoA-inspired poetry.
Get some instrumentalists together and I will totes sing for you guys. I’m used to choral singing, but I could go solo on a song or two. (Lower baritone)
….holy shit.
I just wander through the comments section here every now and again while reading the comic, but that slammed right into my brain.
Sir or madam, I salute you.
Ruler of the fair Clark Wing
Who tolerates no whining
The RA about whom we sing
has a frozen heart worth mining.
So cut through the heart, cold and clear
Strike with love despite all your fear
Trust me Billie, you are near
You have made a start
To warm that frozen heart
Hup! Ho!
Watch your step!
Let it go!
Hup! Ho!
Watch your step!
Let it go!
Beautiful!
Powerful!
Dangerous!
Cold!
Ruth is poison
can’t be controlled
The only way to her is in fact,
A sexy lesbian suicide pact! Ho!
(Really, I could have gone with the original)
Ruth?
Do you wanna do some make-outs?
Let me in and let us play
I don’t know what you’re feeling anymore
Come out the door
Let me see that you’re OK
We are finally together
And everything
Yes, everything should be fine… right?
Do you wanna do some make-outs?
It doesn’t have to be make-outs
This almost made me cry. So adorable! <3
Also, fellow elsanna heacanoner detected
Thanks! Adorable… horrifying… Adorifying (as discussed in tomorrow’s comments).
Well, actually not. I think the canon sibling relationship is adorable enough without having to add a romance. But the ship is super cute.
I guess the good news is that for once she’s able to let it show in the presence of another person. She feels she can trust Billie. That’s progress on multiple levels.
Don’t you mean “Let it go?”
….
I’ll show myself out.
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!
Wasn’t the first time we saw Ruth writing in a journal when she and Billie made up and got together? It seems like she’s doing write-y things here. 🙂
Way to go Ruth… it’s very difficult to actually be able to cry, to feel deserving of crying, when you’re struggling with traumas, depression and alcoholism. The shame that comes from alcoholism (when in the thros and when you’re trying to recover) makes you feel you aren’t even worth a ants kindness. I know that one from experience… thankfully started coming out of that place the last couple months but it took months of abstaining to get to a point of feeling okay enough to cry.
Don’t worry, Ruth! Jazz hands will heal your pain!
Also: welp, still getting malware alerts from Avast every now and then here.
This is totally random, but every time I see Avast mentioned, I think of Captain Capacitor from Reboot leading the charge on the bridge of the Saucy Marie against a horde of viruses.
I miss Reboot 🙁
Get thee to a psychologist and get thee prescribed some fluoxetine. It’s not a cureall and should not be considered as such, but it’ll certainly help.
The line “That I’m up and that I can cry is good news” is loading with ominous overtones. One way of looking at it, for example, is that one cannot get up, i.e., is grievously (or possibly even terminally) ill; another is that someone for whom you cared for is no longer able to get up and cry.
Willis promised that no one in DoA would die; but let’s just say if he were to have someone — like Ruth — get a message that her (unseen) father had passed or was facing a terminal illness like the big C he could still introduce all the pathos of death and loss without disposing of any of the named cast of characters.
Noted, while re-reading the comments from this strip, that the Voice of God (Willis) stated that neither of Ruth’s parents factor into her life at all. So this can’t be about her dad. However, it could be an older brother or other male authority figure/role model in her life.
Another interesting thing to remember is that when the call came in, Ruth’s phone played “Enter Sandman” by Metallica as the ringtone; a song whose lyrics have been interpreted as referring to dysfunctional or broken families … and in a couple of discussions, even Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Could Ruth have had a child and lost it through SIDS before coming to IU?
Her dad died, remember?
Both of Ruth’s parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was 16. She and Howard were brought to the U.S. to live with their grandfather in Carmel. The common assumption since we learned this, and I’ve seen no reason not to believe it, is that it was her grandfather on the phone that time.
A lost baby is an awfully big hypothesis to make given that there’s no evidence whatsoever for it other than a dubious interpretation of a ringtone song, especially since dead babies can’t place phone calls.
And killing off a close family member of one of the main characters would have the same effect that Willis has said that he wants to avoid as killing off a main character – namely, that, given DoA’s time dilation, said character would be in the deepest stages of grief for years and years, our time.
I think Ruth’s comment is explained by her being clinically depressed, such that she herself has been unable – not physically, but mentally and emotionally – to get up, or to bring herself to care enough about anything to cry about it. We have even seen her in this state, when Billie busted into her room after pulling the fire alarm.
I had either missed the reveal (or more likely forgotten it) that her parents were killed by an intoxicated driver. Maybe it was about this time of year that it occurred, and even if we figure Ruth to be a year or two older than the rest of the DoA cast it is still a relatively fresh wound. I believe something like that would be enough to drive me into a state of depression — probably only short-term, but who’s to say?
I agree, relating a ringtone to a hypothesis of a lost baby was a helluva stretch … but then, who saw the end reveal of the Joshua/Jocelyne story coming? I sure didn’t.
You might have something on the ‘anniversary’ thing…
…it’s been *thinks* 24 years since my high-school girlfriend died, but every year I remember November 19, and still feel sombre…
…so, drawing the parallel, if Ruth keeps at it and goes to grad school, she might be at the point where I am during her doctorate program. 😉
It’s come up more than once.
(The stylesheet here doesn’t make it clear, so note that every word of that links to a different reference. And I probably didn’t find them all.)
And, yeah, Jocelyne was a bit of an unexpected twist. But it was clear all along that Something Was Up with Joshua, and it’s not much of a stretch from the “he’s gay” that everyone was expecting to “she’s straight”. Willis may be fond of twists, but they’re twists that make all the little things that didn’t quite fit together suddenly make sense, not twists that no one could guess because they came out of nowhere.
Professor Pharnworth’s voice: Goood News every one Willis has decided to sate my fetish and give great quality freckles in multiple pannels and back to back issues. in other new Billies thick body
Oh my, yes.
Rise and shine. Yaaaaaaaaay.
Good news, everyone! I invented a way to show this strange feeling called “emotion” by releasing water from tiny sacs under my eyeballs!
Oh, depression.
Glad she can get out of bed and feel an emotion. Not thrilled it’s crying, but man, that’s depression for you. Getting out of bed’s the hard part, everything else is a bonus today.
tears of joy
Do you know that feeling when peeling onions does nothing to you?
You only hurt until you cry.
As a person with depression, this speaks to me. It really does.
Same`here (though I’m doing better at the moment). I think there are a lot of us in here with you in the comments.
Right there with you friend. I can’t say I understand what you were/are going through, but if you identify with this situation in particular, we may be in the same lot. I tried to keep my crying from bothering other people. I woke myself up early so I could cry when everyone was still asleep. That got pretty hard when I moved into my dorm and got two roommates. Sometimes I got caught, then I would have to explain or lie. I hated myself when I told the truth. All it did was make other people sad for a bit.
I never wanted to tell others about my depression. My problem should not be theirs. My refusal to let anyone know I was sick only made things worse. I’ve got better, but I still relapse every so often.
I feel guilty talking about this. I want to say i’m sharing all this because when I get really bad, it helps knowing other people have gone through the same thing, and that’s it’s not going to last forever. I want to say that, but a part of my brain keeps telling me I’m just being an attention whore. There may be some truth to that.
Hope you’re ok.
I’ll throw my hat in here and say you are definitely not alone. It is very heartening to see so many sympathizing voices on this thread. Depression’s a hell of a thing, something I still struggle with on and off along with chronic illness. Pills can help a little, therapy a little as well, but sometimes there’s not much to do but push through. That said, I’m glad Ruth has someone she can (attempt to) open up to and have support with.
Maybe she just has an inner ear infection and her tear ducts have been clogged. In that case being able to get up and cry is very good news.
Woo boy. Yeah, this is horribly familiar. Depression crying sucks, but it’s so much better than the numb, black pit stage.
To people who haven’t experienced depression (clinical or otherwise) this is hauntingly familiar. One of the things that happened with me was that I had no emotion. I didn’t have happy–but I didn’t have sad. I didn’t have anger, love, anything. I started wondering out loud if maybe I was a sociopath or a psychopath. I realized that if I was to kill myself or someone else, I wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t matter.
Luckily I was sent to a hospital and got all that sorted. Well. By sorted I mean I got on medications, and now I have my emotions back. Fixing the depression and anxiety is a bit trickier. But honestly, this is really good news for her! This means she’s starting to come out of the depression. I’m not sure if hers is clinical or situational (or both) but this is excellent news. The next step should be going to an Intensive Out-care Program (or In-care. I did IOP, because moving away for a few weeks scared me) and try out something to help with the depression, medication or something else.
But I doubt that’ll happen. We’ll see.
What do you have when you DO have sad, and more sad, and more sad, and the sad won’t stop and just keeps coming no matter what you do?
Well, Ruth needs help. While it sounds callous, a relationship is actually the worst thing to start when dealing with undiagnosed depression.
Unless of course, the partner in the relationship actually is the catalyst to realize that you need help. The problem here is that Billie might not be the most observant or empathetic person around, and with her own hang-ups, may not be the support structure or catalyst that Ruth needs. Then again, maybe Billie might catch a clue before it’s too late. (Personal experience talking there)
Point taken.
My thoughts are trivial pursuits
My heart’s a bomb that’s been defused
What now?
There’s no more use for me
I’m wasting energy
Muscles are weaklings
Thoughts just defeat me
Numbness is effortless
I could get used to this
So, she was reading her webcomics, and just found out that Girls With Slingshots is ending?
DON’T BREAK MY HEART AGAIN
SHUT UP PLEASE GOD I DON’T WANT IT TO END
“But Ruth,” Billie said, gently putting a cold hand on her girlfriends tear stained cheek. “It means that Danielle Corsetto will have time for other projects. Who knows what creative masterpieces we will see from her next?”
“I know Billie, I know… But what about Hazel?”
Well that went slightly better than the worst it could have gone, so… hooray?
I know I might get crucified for this, but does anyone think that Billie looks better without glasses?
I know Billie has been described as “A large breasted half-Asian chick,” AND that pretty much qualifies her as cute, but this panel is especially cute.
oops i’m ruth