No, he’s using that “fact” (supposition, really–a plan, not a certainty) to excuse being emotionally distant. So, yeah, I concur with Average Loser’s assessment.
Incidentally, even if she does go off to Yale, it’s on the a East Coast–not another planet. Airlines, railways, busses and of course FaceTime will still be options for maintaining contact if that’s what he wants to do.
Would it have been a dick move if Dorothy didn’t look sad in the last panel? Walky’s obviously struggling with his feelings for her – and she’s asserted from the beginning her intentions of the future. So while yes, he is emotionally distant in this instance, what has caused such a feeling?
TL;DR To call someone a dick based on one statement is pretty assumptive and harsh. Neither party is right or wrong, they just are how they feel. And it’s a tough situation.
and to call a non-existant character that is nothing but a cartoon a dick, and then be judged by a real person for calling something that doesn’t exist a name is like really assumptive, harsh and dickish!
She seemed pretty clear in the past with the other guy when they first remeet in the dorms, which walky knew of. to not care for distant relationships. I’m pretty sure she told Walky straight up it was a “just while i’m here thing” so walky embraced the “it’s temp for physical dating while we aren’t studying”
She made it more than abundantly clear that she only wanted a short term relaxing kinda thing. Until she makes it clear she’d like anything more long term Walky’s really correct. She basically told him “friends with benefits, but just no others” but didn’t use the term.
and for her, and how she presents it, it’s not just a plan, it is a fact. She’s always used “will move” not “plan to move” or “hope to move” “want to move” etc, she’s used definitives. So as far as walky’s been shown and told, it is only a temp thing, a footnote in their lives.
Now he sure did a passive aggressive jab there; which wasn’t necessary (due to his being upset) but he’s well within his right to hold to a certain distance (for his own protection and because she specifically wanted a “not looking at marriage” kinda dating.
You can recognize that a relationship will be temporary and still take it fairly seriously, and I definitely feel like both of them are more invested than just friends with benefits. It’s not as if entering a serious romantic relationship is like a promise you’re going to marry them and even a marriage doesn’t always last forever.
Laying down a mutually understood end point isn’t super common and could turn off people who are looking for the long term, but it doesn’t mean it has to be casual. And sometimes, recognizing this is an important part of the honesty required to be that close to someone.
I dunno. This sounds like crazy talk to me. “This WILL end” and “this is deep, meaningful and serious” are mutually exclusive as far as I, and i think most people, are concerned. It’s a matter of self-preservation: you don’t invest yourself fully into something that you know can’t go on. If you do and the other person doesn’t, you end up hurt. If you both invest yourself fully, it gets complicated when it “has to end.”
Here Walky is just restating the definition that was more or less forced on him for both their protection, and it may be mean and passive-aggressive but if Dorothy still feels the same way (which she won’t, because otherwise she’s doomed to be removed from the comic and nobody gives up stardom! NOBODY!) then she’d recognize that he’s right and she’s pushing too hard.
It may be true for most people, but it’s not true for everyone. There are people who can take a relationship very seriously on multiple levels even while recognizing it’s temporary. It may be incompatible with what you need out of a relationship, but that doesn’t make it wrong or dishonest.
I don’t think Walky really thinks of his relationship at all, or it’s long- or short-term expectations. I think he’s just in it. I’m a lot like Walky in that I’ll say “I’m fine” to mean “I don’t want to talk,” so I am a little irritated with Dorothy not leaving him alone with his feelings, which is what he clearly wants. (There is more to communicatIon than the actual words being said.) So I feel like Walky’s “We’re not serious” is more of a dig, designed to hurt her feelings a bit since she’s not respecting his desire not to talk.
that is not the behavior associated with Passive/Agressive Disorder. COME ON GENERATION everything but boomers!! OPEN A BOOK and quit misusing medical & psychological terminology!
No, see, if they deliberately persist in misusing the term “passive aggressive” long enough, someone will eventually get fed up and define it for them, and save them the trouble of looking it up themselves.
There are two people here with needs they can’t entirely meet. I don’t think either should be read as the bad guy in this situation.
Walky is “not good at” dealing with Billie’s feelings, which he has been trying to do all day. Part of him wants to just run and run and run away from Billie’s crisis, but he runs TOWARD the awkward because that’s what old friends do. Yet he feels like whatever he does may not be enough, and that makes him vulnerable and severely uncomfortable. He doesn’t like anyone to see that side of him, but especially not the girl who’s done more than anyone to make him feel like a man. The idea that a truly strong man shares his feelings and admits his fears is a little too advanced to expect of somebody whose entire lifeplan recently consisted of “McNuggets and pajama jeans.”
Dorothy may be starting to find her nice, neat, “no strings” relationship is unsustainable: she wants to be closer, wants to be the sort of person Walky would tell his deep troubles to, even if that would make it hurt more if she gets into Yale next semester. It’s neither wrong to try to protect yourself and your partner from hurt nor to want to be a shoulder to cry on.
And she may be a little inconsistent as a result, but I have to say, by the standards of college, she is AMAZINGLY good at stating her desires calmly and plainly.
I completely agree with this comment: no one is a terrible person here, Walky is having trouble dealing with serious stuff, and Dorothy is confronted to the limits she set herself. I will say however that Walky’s comment is unnecessarily mean-spirited and that even if they were exclusive friends with benefits (which they are not), friends can still talk to each other about their troubles…
It uses a hash of the email you provide to determine which “random” stock gravatar you get. If you change the email – and I think even trivial, otherwise meaningless changes, like fiddling with the capitalization, are enough – it’ll give you someone else. You may have to wait for Willis to approve you again, though.
Walky’s comment strikes me as being very offhanded, like his brain is just on another level of working entirely here. He’s very distracted right now, because he’s concerned about his old friend, and when one is distracted, one can sometimes be far more blunt than one means to be.
It is kind of a dick move from him, but she’s said the same thing for a good while, and I guess it finally got to Walky. He’s apparently grown up a lot in the comics past day or two.
Man, I hate that whole “indirectly responsible for former significant other’s behavior in future/subsequent relationships” thing. Not because I don’t think it’s a thing, but because my ex was a controlling asshole to the woman he dated immediately after we broke up, so I have to wonder how much of that was him and how much of it he learned from five years of dating a doormat (there is in fact such a thing as too much compromise). (Don’t get me wrong, the temper was ALL him, I take zero responsibility for that.)
I don’t know you or your ex, but, if it helps, my experience is that controlling assholes are born or raised that way, and they find or create doormats because they’re controlling assholes; ordinary non-assholes don’t become controlling assholes because they’re dating a doormat.
The canonical term is “Billieing it up” according to a fact-finding commission consisting of Alice, Ruth, Walky, her hometown’s school district, the Arab at orientation, Sal, Danny himself and Amazi-Girl/Amber.
Dorothy has stated it’s just for fun, but she’s still treating it as a genuine relationship and being open with walky. Acknowledging that it’s temporary doesn’t mean that it’s fake. For Dorothy, temporary is a disclaimer and a reminder, to help keep things friendly when the end comes and keep things running smoothly.
Walky, however, is using that temporary status as a shield. He’s hiding behind that instead of being open and honest at all. And he’s throwing it in her face as part of that, using his shield as an offense as much as a defense.
I mean, I have a FWB thing going right now. Unlike Dorothy and Walky who are declared exclusive and 100% boyfriend/girlfriend, my FWB and I are JUST Friends With Benefits. And we’re still both more open an honest with each other than that. (We do have a couple of do-not-mention topics and don’t-wanna-discuss topics, but it was an outright “I’d rather not talk about that”, with no passive aggressive hijinx or defensiveness involved)
Basically Walky is treating his relationship with Dorothy as less than my FWB arrangement and that is bullshit. So yeah, dick move.
Yay! Someone else who doesn’t think “temporary” means “lesser.” In fact, if Dorothy hadn’t made her plans for Yale and their implications to the relationship known, shed be investing less in the relationship by not being totally open, not more invested.
Well, there are things you don’t want to reveal to your friends. (Like your browser history, for example.) What seems to be happening here, in my mind anyway, is just that Walky is closer to Billie than he is to Dorothy.
And, well, he is. Dorothy is a friend, but Billie is essentially family. If something seriously wrong happened to a family member, you might not want to talk about it even to your friends. Dorothy’s probing is motivated by “I can tell you are hurting and I want to help.” Walky’s pushback is motivated by “I don’t want to violate Billie’s privacy to someone she barely knows.” The “I won’t tell you that something’s wrong in the first place” thing comes from Walky’s clumsiness around feelings combined with the greater distance between Walky-to-Dorothy than Walky-to-Billie.
For example, how many people have been informed that Joyce was traumatized at a party? The only main cast member who knows about that, outside this room, would be Amber/Amazi-Girl. Dorothy’s friends Danny and Joe don’t know, Joyce’s boyfriend Ethan doesn’t know. Roz was at the party herself and even she wasn’t informed. And if any of the above people asked about why Joyce seemed unusually nervous in the following days, do you think they’d get an answer? And now imagine something like that happened to someone even closer to the people involved.
Walky knows that Billie’s been through something seriously earth-shattering (for her standards anyway), and is attempting to respect her privacy in a similar way. He was present for the post-party debrief and swearing-to-secrecy, after all. He is clumsy as hell about it, he’s going to stumble around and step on some toes trying to find his footing, but that’s Walky for you.
I think he’s catching feelings just as much as she is, and he’s pushing away a little so he can preemptively stop the hurt. It’s a little dick move, sure, but coming from an understandable place.
Dorothy’s the one who kept insisting that they had an expiration date, and that they keep it casual. Billy is Walky’s childhood friend, and to gossip about her mental health with a casual relation would be deeply inconsiderate.
Yeah. But folks keep hating on Walky for being a good friend to Billy. Partly, I think, because we all like Dorothy and when we see her getting upset it’s easy to blame him. But she made her bed.
Also, I did the same thing to an S/O (set an expiration date) and it was super crappy of me, because even though the person in question agreed to it at the time it put a lot of stress and grief in their life. So maybe I’m feeling a little annoyed with Dorothy for making the same mistakes.
Dorothy engaged Joyce in the conversation, but kept it fairly well at arm’s length. “I don’t know her very well” and “If its serious, she should consider a therapist” is all she says, and she’s asking Walky to be open with her about him not being okay, not really asking about Billy specifically. Last colic, she even implied she’d be okay with “I’m not okay, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
That may be what she said last comic, but now she’s saying she’s bothered that Walky can’t open up to her. It occurs to me that maybe Dorothy’s feelings have been in flux without her realizing it. I’m in the “Even if it is a dick move, it’s a justified one” camp. I’ll even go further that this is something Dorothy needed to be reminded of if for no other reason that maybe she needs to sit down and decide if she still wants what she thought she wanted, consider the effect having an end date might be having on Walky, and also decide if she wants to do the heavy lifting that would be required to get Walky to do the whole “feelings” thing. (Remember that Walky up to now has had very specific, stereotypical ideas about what is “manly” and what isn’t.)
I think we need to remember just how slow time is passing here. Walky and Dorothy have been together for ages to us, but for them it’s just been a couple of weeks.
Dorothy and Danny were together for years, and they still didn’t have the best communication going.
To be honest, they’ve been dating a month, TOPS. And they only knew each other a week before that. Walky’s not obligated to feel EXTREMELY close to Dorothy in that amount of time regardless of the fact that she’s explicitly made it known that she’s leaving the first chance she gets.
It’s a dick move, but considering all the shit Walky’s been through the last few times we saw him: all the racism trouble about Sal going around in his head, and now Billie, his oldest friend who he can at least rely to be a constant in his life, acting all weird both in the morning and now during lunch…
And Dorothy, like everyone is saying, only knows Walky for like a month whereas Sal and Billie has been around for a year, and she’s being pretty pushy about it despite never really interacting with Billie. I can’t remember the last time that Dorothy and Billie spoke to each other since fighting over the Amazi-girl story, and she’s like “you need to tell me what is wrong about her!” and “she needs to go to the doctor!”
Compare it with Joyce, who likewise doesn’t understand things at all but is taking it in relatively well by not pushing her nose into shit she doesn’t understand beyond that ‘let’s spread Jesus’ which Walky took as more of a joke than anything.
Also, while Dorothy is a nice person in all other aspects, she’s always struck me as being a bit of a bongo when it comes to relationships. With Danny, she’s all “I’m breaking up because I’m going to focus on studies” and then proceeds to hook up with Walky a couple days/weeks later, sweet as it is.
And even with Walky she keeps establishing that their relationship is ‘for fun’, be it to Walky, Joyce, her parents, her ex and practically everyone who asks. I mean, I don’t deny that Dorothy seems to be a nice person in all other aspects, but between this and her rather one-note ‘I need to be president’ worldview and working within the lines and everything, she’s pretty screwed as well.
It’s always struck me that same people who make up different reasons for Dorothy breaking up with Danny than what actually happened (and then blame her for these fake reasons) are usually the same folks who are super-pleased to throw gender-charged epithets at her as well.
I really don’t know where you’re getting something about studying out of that. The extra time studying was on her mind, but it was not at all the reason she broke up with him. They were simply incompatible.
More time for studying is the reason DANNY later gives for why he was dumped. Because he wasn’t listening to what she was saying. Because he was trying to live out a romantic fantasy with her, as he later attempts with Amazi-Girl.
The reason they broke up is because when faced with the ultimatum of either being together and stagnating or potentially growing strong apart Danny chose to be together and got upset when Dorothy didn’t agree. Saying that studies was the reason they broke up is like saying you were murdered by a bullet after someone shoots you.
I don’t think that Dorothy is completely exempt from blame in their breakup (for one thing she waited until the least opportune moment to leave Danny, which was a total dick move. And likely, as with all relationships, the incompatibility issue wasn’t 100% one sided) but calling her names because of the Walky/Danny situation is pretty unjustified.
With Danny – it wasn’t solely for her studies, he just honestly wasn’t the right person for her.
She made it clear multiple times what her goals were, and that she wanted to be with someone who didn’t focus their entire being on being with her – someone that could function as a person apart from her rather than clinging on and following her everywhere.
Danny cared more about her love than her dream, he cared more about marrying her than having his own dreams or goals, he was just going to live for the relationship. He didn’t care about being his own person and he didn’t really care if she achieved her dream or not as long as they were still together. He was pretty much the anti-Dorothy – no life goal and completely focused on love and relationships. :/
“No life goal and completely focused on love and relationships”
You mean like Joyce?
Well to be fair Danny’s not specifically at IU for the male equivalent of a “M.R.S.” degree, at least not after Dorothy dumped him for both of their own good (-s?).
Seriously, though, a significant other having romantic goals incompatible with yours or feeling that your relationship unhealthy is a totally reasonable justification for breaking up with them.
But Joyce is just Dorothy’s friend, and if she expects Joyce to stay out of her sex life, she has to reciprocate and not judge Joyce’s approach to romance. Unless its doing something seriously harmful (such as encouraging a gay man to stay closeted), in which case, yeah, there’d probably be some fallout.
On that not, is anyone else really looking forward to Dorothy learning Ethan is gay? That is going to be a major drama bomb with much potential for growth for everyone involved.
But I’m not sure where Nogre is going with this “drama bomb” business. Dorothy just doesn’t seem likely to freak out about Ethan being gay, though she might get on Joyce’s case a little bit.
I looked it up and don’t really see her mentioning studying at all. She seems to be upset that Danny is both treating her life goal like something that can be revised for him, and trying to ruin his own life goals just to stay with her. Neither of them are wrong, I don’t think, but they have different priorities which make them incompatible.
Did I miss a conversation where Dorothy said emotional honesty is of the table or does everyone think acknowledging a relationship as temporary implied that? Because it didn’t. It really, really doesn’t. There are more options than dating with an intention to marry and being friends with benefits.
This is strictly a wall Walky is placing and while it’s totally fine he does so, he’s being extremely hurtful about it, which isn’t okay, and I hope they work through it.
This is also taking place about a minute after Walky told her “I didn’t want to talk about it” and “I also don’t want to talk about not talking about it”. He could just as easily have told her “I don’t want to talk about why I don’t want to talk about it.”
It would be, if he were throwing it back in her face.
And at first, I thought he was doing a little of that; I heard a little snark in his line. But if you look at his facial expressions, you can see something else going on there. Panels 3 and 4, he’s staring at the ground, his eyebrows are furrowing; I’m reading frustration there, and his mind seems to be at least partially somewhere else. When Dorothy addresses him and expresses what she’s feeling, he looks away with a little bit of anger.
But then in panel 5, I’m not seeing the anger in his response–his expression just looks anxious. He’s in over his head, he hates all these complicated problems and wants to keep it simple, but here Dorothy is bringing her complex emotional reactions into the picture on top of the Billie stuff, and it’s freaking his shit out. I’m hearing some hurt in his voice, some confusion. But this isn’t a bitter snipe at her.
Which is to say, Jim, that I agree with the thrust of your rhetorical question, that Walky is just voicing what’s on his mind, but I also can see how one would think Walky was bein’ a jerk. Heck, I thought he was bein’ a jerk until I read the strip a second time.
(The best part was her follow-up one time, which was to tell me that I needed to focus on my appearance more because my personality isn’t enough to keep a man. The argument that ensued was FUN.)
DOA Walky has always seemed like a jerk to me. He’s ridiculously misogynist and gender essentialist, and mocks others constantly.
But despite that, I agree with others who have said this isn’t really a jerk move since Dorothy is the one who first defined their relationship as “just for fun”. It’s something Walky and Dorothy will have to seriously consider going forward, since their relationship has already cut into Dorothy’s academic focus, and they’re getting emotionally close to the point where it will hurt to separate.
He’s got his gender and race issues to work out, but I wouldn’t say he’s “ridiculously” misogynistic (or racist, for that matter). And he seems self-reflective enough to do just that (sort out his issues).
Someone can be a racist or a misogynist without being a jerk. Sometimes it’s just ignorance, and I think that’s the case with Walky. He is learning, though, particularly with the race stuff. And I think the fact he’s making an effort and giving it additional thought indicates he’s a pretty good guy overall.
She was homeschooled by older parents (since she was the youngest in the family, they were older when they had her). So she might have picked up some of their phrases and words.
For someone so progressive about sex, I’m surprised she thought this. They’ve only been together for less than a month now, there’s no reason for Walky to completely open up emotionally yet if he’s not ready.
But Walky’s usually more smart-alecky than mean. I think his comments are getting more cutting, probably because he’s starting to come under some stress.
Walky’s kind of a dick every day. Today though, he’s genuine upset. Walky’s spent his life tuning out whatever emotional unpleasantness he doesn’t want to deal with, now things he can’t ignore are slapping him in the face and he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
This. Dorothy is well intentioned, but maybe Walky doesn’t need to hear “I’m upset you feel don’t close enough to me to tell me what’s bothering you.” right now. I know that, at the end of the day, she wants to help, but Dorothy is just adding to the pressure on Walky right now. I really think he deserves some slack here.
Yeah, this. Dorothy knows Walky is upset, she knows he’s worried about a friend he’s known for a long time, and she knows that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Even if her concerns about their relationship were totally reasonable (and I think Walky has a point), now is not the time to bring them up; now is the time to say “if there’s anything I can do, let me know” and leave the relationship discussion for later.
I think Walky is acting this way because Billie is like a sister to him really. He’s close enough to her to feel a great deal of concern for her and he really doesn’t want people who don’t really know her to be involved in Billie’s issues.
I’m not sure Walky handles all this feeling stuff very well, hence the way he presents himself to people. If he’s being a dick right now it’s because he’s trying to process the whole Billie thing and figure out what’s wrong to try and help her. His mind is elsewhere really. Or so I think anyway.
There is also his recent argument with Sal, where he had come to realize that maybe he is the favorite at least in Sal’s eyes. He might feel that he not only failed one sister but two.
It looks like some people are getting mad at Walky for saying that to Dorothy, but I think she’s being rude by pushing him to talk about Billie when he clearly doesn’t want to. She’s not respecting his boundaries and on top of that trying to make it all about her instead of giving him space to process his feelings. Ugh people like her annoy me so much
Dorothy asks if Walky is okay and he says yes. Joyce says he’s not, so Dorothy asks him to be honest about it, but not necessarily to tell her everything “Tell me you don’t want to talk about it.” Not “Spill it. I want you to tell me everything!” She then talks to Joyce about Billy, admitting she didn’t know much, and then she wants to talk to Walky why he’s being dishonest about his feelings.
Where does she push him to talk about Billy? Acknowledging that something is bothering him doesn’t count and that seemed to me all she’s asking. She also didn’t try to make Billy’s problems all about her; she just wanted to talk about his emotional distance. Also, everything she’s saying is very polite and open to honest discussion about the boundaries of their relationship; she’s not ignoring his boundaries; she’s asking about them and staying here feelings.
I really don’t understand where you’re getting this pushiness and disrespect from her actions. I understand Walky’s response because of all the stress, but it was hardly justified by her actions.
“It bothers ME that YOU don’t think we’re close enough” (emphasis mine). Dorothy has now gone from “I just want you to be honest with me.” to “I want to talk about why you don’t want to tell me something is bothering you,” which would require Walky to process what he wants to process. Bothered or not, Dorothy (IMO) needs to realize now is not the time and back off.
Because when you don’t want to talk about one thing (that remains the subject of ongoing conversation), you often don’t want to talk about other tangentially-related or even unrelated emotionally-laden topics.
Yikes Dorothy, way to turn Walky worrying about his friend and her problems into something that’s all about you. The man has difficulty talking about emotional subjects, respect that. Being supportive doesn’t mean pressuring people into telling you things when they’re not ready to share, and then trying to make them feel guilty about it when they resist. THAT’S a dick move.
She was bothered by him being dishonest with her about going through a rough time, and she expressed those feelings along with a request to be more open. If expressing that you’re hurt by something someone does is guilt tripping them and making it all about yourself, it’s kind of impossible to work on any relationship, let alone a romantic one.
Yeah, it’s like kindly asking a friend to be honest about his feelings is some kind of emotional blackmail or nagging curiosity for some people… So many people seem to lash out on Dororthy for being an honest, respectful person that simply asks for the same thing in return. In all this series we have only seen her angry ONCE, when her boyfriend of several years outright disregarded her deepest dreams and suggested she abandon them, and ever since the first thing she does she is pointed out at controlling, or a bongo… Plenty of rampant misogyny going on here in my opinion.
Why do so many people treat Walky’s actions like he’s lying about cheating on her or something? He’s avoiding a topic. It’s a tiny “white lie” at worst. A fiblet. He didn’t coerce her into robbing a bank with him.
Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can’t go on
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that or love may soon be gone – The Beatles
… That last panel, though. Ow. Dorothy’s been developing Feelings and so has Walky and they’re just now realizing that this may not be compatible with previously-set plans.
(Also, I’m now imagining Joyce and Walky drowning their sorrows in soda and cartoons together once Dorothy leaves. Sobbing over her favorite episode while Sarah is torn between being big sister and just rolling her eyes forever. Rolling her eyes wins out.)
Dorothy did not ‘do anything’ to screw up Danny Yotomoe. She actually tried to set a distance from him in HS when she told him she was not staying with him in neighborhood but going to college. He knew that, but chose to ignore it.
When she actually went, he followed her. She was not pleased to see him thinking they were picking up from HS when she tried to diplomatically tell him it was over and he did not take the hint.
Danny doesn’t do subtly.
She told him she moving on to grad school, he said okay, he’d go too. That’s when she stopped being subtle. She pointed out that he was not there for an education, only for her. And she did not have a relationship beyond hs in mind. She flat told him to leave her alone and move along with his life.
I don’t think that was wrong. Tough yes.
As to Walky, she should not expect him to open up about his childhood friend Billie, unless he choses to. She did state the boundries of their relationship. Walky may have been a bit more diplomatic about it, but still within his rights.
Dorothy looks like she’s having 2nd thoughts about that now. Walky may or may not be, can’t tells because he’s worried about Billie.
I generally see Walky as being someone that sometimes does jerky things, but usually without jerky intent. He’s immature (largely cause he wants to be), and he’s passive (in a different way than Danny) so he lets others ‘define’ their relationships with him. Thus, this exchange with Dorothy, and how he interacts with Billie sometimes (Billie goes on and on about not being his friend, so he throws that back at her when she tries to tag along).
Not saying that’s how he always acts, just something he seems to do from time to time.
Quite the contrary,.. I’m just aware of how people can shift away from what they want for what they may think they need. Too many friends who gave up a dream for love or someone elses dream.
Sigh,… Why would I think them less?
People make choices all the time.
Also, make note how Dorothy doesn’t really care about Joyce’s explanation about what’s wrong with Billie and is all ‘Walky why won’t you talk to me!’ That strikes me as extremely self-centered as well.
Billie and Dorothy barely know each other; I wouldn’t call it self-centered to not prioritize someone you hardly know who’s not even there over your boyfriend.
Exactly: she is not fishing for gossip or asking for personal information about a girls he hardly knows. She is trying to reach out to her (boy)friend.
I was kind of wondering when this would start to show after Dorothy trying to explain sex to Joyce. Mostly because I think that is one of many possible instances that showed Dorothy starting to fall more for Walky than she was either expecting or wanted. It would also help explain why she is caring a bit more about Walky’s friends or other issues in life. Meanwhile Walky is dealing with the issues of Billie,Sal,and possible realizations about his parents. Someone who knows you for about a month,even dating-wise, is probably not a person you talk to unless they just have something about them that manages to bring it out of you. When these 2 agreed on the relationship only being for fun, they were setting themselves up for a possible confrontation like this.
I think this is actually a bit of emotional growth for Dorothy (which seems to be spreading like a virus lately) showing that she’s found someone she likes enough to not up and forget as soon as Yale comes around.
Does everyone forget the part where Danny pretty much said “Well, you don’t know what you really want…” and that’s when she broke up with him? She was upfront about her plans before coming to IU, tried to convince Danny following her was a bad idea, he didn’t listen, told him again at IU, he didn’t listen, and then she broke up with him. The selfish part was not breaking it off the first time he didn’t listen.
Yes, she has goals; shouldn’t that be a good thing? Why is Dorothy having goals a bad thing?
I’m not saying having a plan is bad. Dorothy’s easily one of the smartest characters for having post grad asperations. l’m just saying that she put those limits on and for her to regret thst even just a little shows a bit of change on her part, which is happening to everybody.
Hey here’s a wacky idea, what if, instead of calling Dorothy sexist slurs or trying to make up reasons why this is someone’s fault, we just go “awwww, poor kids D:” like sensible people?
Cause they’re both right–Walky should trust Dorothy. She’s a good lady and she’s got a good heart; but on the other hand she was the one who set some pretty hardcore limits, and when you do that you’re never ready for how Feelings will come into it. As they are both realizing.
I mean, if you want you can keep playing the blame game and adding a spice of sexist bullshit, but.
I couldn’t agree more. I think the main thing that people here forget is that the characters are both young, and unable externally view their own lives.
I see so many people talking about what should or shouldn’t have been done or why they hate one character or another. I don’t see how people can get so passionately hateful towards fictional characters.
They both have fair points – it’s an incredibly young relationship, in theory just “for fun”. Against that, Walky is becoming increasingly worried about one of his oldest friends – and he isn’t good at articulating this stuff in the first place.
So yeah, they are both right, both wrong – both just your regular idiot young humans.
*Remembers this comic is not called “Smart People Acting Smartly All The Time”*
Feeling empathy for someone in a difficult situation or who just made some horrible mistake? That’s way to reasonable! 😛 Next you’ll suggest respecting someone who has different priorities than you or trying to learn something new!
Let me preface this. I like Dorothy a lot. One of my favorite characters.
But am I the only one here who thinks Walky is completely fucking justified? Dorothy says she wants casual, but everything she does is screaming that she wants a commitment. She thought she could tell him how to dress. She thought that he would open up to her about the problems a lifelong friend of his was having after a month of dating. She involves him in her life and her drama at every turn, and was excited to meet his parents and introduce him to hers. All the while making it very clear she doesn’t intend to stick around. She is sending him mixed signals about what she wants out of this, which is at best a sign of uncharacteristic immaturity and at worst outright emotionally manipulative. I think Dorothy is great but I’m completely behind Walky on this.
Dorothy didn’t intend Walky to meet her parents, they were just privy to Walky’s parents demanding to meet Dorothy and got pulled in.
She’s starting to realize she’s actually falling for Walky (and probably secretly cursing her parents for being right), but Freshers’ Family Weekend was not her fault.
You can want more out of a relationship than sex even if the relationship is understood to be temporary. Even asking for some level of emotional intimacy isn’t at all unreasonable, especially when you’ve grown to care for someone.
Walky has the right to say no to that, but this was a really dickish way to approach it. Understandable due to recent events, but still dickish. I hope they sit down and talk this over at some point instead of just leaving things on stuff a crappy note.
Uh, Dorothy does want to have a casual relationship. Just not with someone who does not want to have a serious relationship.
Now Walky seemed perfect because he did not seem capable of any serious commitment, so if he gave all he could, it still would have been easy for Dorothy to reciprocate.
Now that it is coming out that Walky is capable of serious commitment and compassion, Dorothy feels like she is being sold short. Which is really bad since she picked Walky exactly because it looked like she would be able to go lightly on commitment without a bad conscience because, of course, it would be all he could be considered good for.
Now Dorothy feels cheated because she only got what she bargained for rather than all that Walky is capable of.
She feels cheated because he matched the deal she offered.
And she’s smart enough to realize whose fault that actually is.
Dorothy is certainly surprised to learn that Walky thinks a casual relationship is, you know, casual. I think she’s also surprised to learn that many casual relationships either fall apart or stop being casual. She’s going to have to choose which one she really wants, and she’s going to have to deal with the fallout either way. Ouch.
Walky has a point, but I can see why Dorothy is hurt by this. Just because you’re in a relationship with set boundaries/limits to how far you can go doesn’t mean you’re automatically disallowed from seeking out things like emotional availability, sincerity, or trust. Especially considering how intimate these two have become, in such a relatively short amount of time.
On some level, Dorothy is probably still used to the situation when she was dating Danny—who would not have been able to brush her off like this if she wanted to know something, and probably wouldn’t have tried in the first place. Walky’s a very, very different person from Danny and Dorothy’s still getting used to that, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to assume (perhaps not to expect, but at least to assume) that Walky would be willing to open up about things like this.
It was a bit harsh on Walky’s part, but yeah, he’s right. There is a downside to choosing one’s career as one’s life goal, Dorothy. It’s not right or wrong to do so; just be aware that people do have needs (emotionally as well as physically), and sometimes they might not be willing to take a back seat to your first priority. There’s a reason why so many long-distance relationships fail. The same truth applies to relationships where one partner is always focusing more on something else in their life.
I’m kind of with Walky on this one. Dorothy set the parameters for the relationship as being ‘casual’, plus they’ve only been dating for a month.
Meanwhile Billie’s his childhood friend who’s struggling with depression. She needs to understand that he’s gonna have some boundaries too. If she wants a closer relationship she needs to initiate it.
It isn’t this strip that made me hate Walky- I could never stand his personality (I can’t stand Dorothy’s voice-of-reason shit, either, but to a much lesser degree).
God, this comic is agonizing. It’s always getting somewhere, but is never there.
Interesting comment about the comic. I suppose you’re right, but I usually enjoy the ride. (Although I did think Amber’s/Amazing Girl’s “I only have one last night to confront Sal before I have to stop being Amazing Girl” storyline was anticlimactic all around. Still, that’s another discussion.)
This is the second comic in three days to really hit me in the feels. I’m a lot like Dorothy in that my career goals are extremely important to me, and I’ve had to make sacrifices to stick to that. Most recently, it’s been moving almost a thousand miles away from many long time friends and close family so I could start an absolutely incredible job. It’s been rough, and I really empathise with Dorothy’s struggles here. It’s one of the few things that makes me glad I’m single.
I hope she convinces Walky to have a serious talk about this, though so they can both establish what they want and expect from each other. Some level of emotional honesty is important even in friendships, and she clearly cares a great deal about him, and the fact that her other goals come first doesn’t invalidate those feelings. It’s hard to tell since he may just be worried about Billie, but Walky may also need to air out singer feelings of his own about the direction they’re moving. I haven’t noticed anything along those lines before now, since he’s been so supportive.
Definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.
True, but sometimes it’s as satisfying to see people work madly to successfully defuse a drama bomb as it is to see it explode. As long as the bomb exists in the first place.
OF COURSE Walky is a bit of a jerk here. And OF COURSE this is when Dorothy’s own boundaries backfire at her.
And OF COURSE it is a bit self-centered of Dorothy to (unintentionally) guilt-trip Walky for not opening up about his concerns. And OF COURSE Walky should have said that he is trying to first sort all this shit in his own mind, shit that he’s probably dealing with for the first time…
This is a comic about kids growing up, remember? It would have been completely unrealistic if these kids were behaving in the way that we would want, or advise, them to behave.
I wonder if maybe Walky figures that it is only matter of time before Mike spills the beans about Billie sharing (but not Sexing?) Walky’s bed and thus the end of him and Dorothy. Maybe this is his way of
1) Protecting Billie from having even MORE people having contempt for her.
2) Protecting himself from something he is afraid he actually wanted (emotionally intimate relationship with dorothy) and screwed up by being irresponsible.
3) Perhaps protecting Dorothy by letting her think that she never got access to him emotionally. Rather than let her learn she did get access and he slept with someone else anyway.
The sad thing is none of that is Dorothy’s fault but at the same time does she have a right to get mad for getting what she said she wanted?
Because women are often portrayed as getting upset about that sort of thing in movies and TV shows, and regardless of that being a sexist trope Walky may have internalized this?
Walky is employed to be a boy toy and sidekick. This was Danny’s role earlier, but he wanted more, so she ended it. To be fair, Danny wanted to be a 1950s wife for Dorothy.
They can have sexy times and adventures, but Dorothy was the one who insisted that this was a casual relationship. Now her brain is telling her irrational things.
Not every situation or conflict needs to have a right and a wrong.
T Campbell posted a really good analysis further up the comments section that pretty much erased any comments I had before I could even write them.
Something just occurred to me. On the night when they first *insert euphemism*, Walky had earlier approached Dorothy with an invitation to go out to dinner somewhere out of his comfort zone in an effort for them to both “try a little harder”. Instead, they spent the evening chasing Amazing Girl so Dorothy could get a story for the paper. (I’m not saying Dorothy is wrong to have goals, stay with me here.)
Now, I doubt that Walky was upset about that given what happened later, but he has indicated in the past that he’d like to be a bit higher on Dorothy’s list of priorities. Just because he accepts his place on the list and want’s to be supportive doesn’t mean he’s okay with it. Yeah, Walky is being a dick here, but he has a lot of stuff he is dealing with right now and that stuff includes Dorothy. Dick or not, I don’t think Walky is saying anything that doesn’t need to be said.
I agree, Walky has seemed to resent in the past that “they’re just doing this for fun.” Not that either of them are wrong for wanting different things.
It’s strips like this where you look at character flaws, and the actions of one person to another, and you realize that this came about due to great fucking writing. Bravo Willis, bravo.
Don’t worry, Walky! Willis said the comic will never reach Sophomore year so Dorothy never actually has to go to Yale whatever her plans are. (Sorry, Dorothy, you’re stuck in a time loop…)
Loading ...
Dick Move, Walky
It seems reasonable enough to me.
Besides, Walky’s moves involving a dick are a big part of their relationship.
Heh-heh, dangly parts.
This much is true.
Yeah, he’s just stating a fact.
No, he’s using that “fact” (supposition, really–a plan, not a certainty) to excuse being emotionally distant. So, yeah, I concur with Average Loser’s assessment.
Incidentally, even if she does go off to Yale, it’s on the a East Coast–not another planet. Airlines, railways, busses and of course FaceTime will still be options for maintaining contact if that’s what he wants to do.
Would it have been a dick move if Dorothy didn’t look sad in the last panel? Walky’s obviously struggling with his feelings for her – and she’s asserted from the beginning her intentions of the future. So while yes, he is emotionally distant in this instance, what has caused such a feeling?
TL;DR To call someone a dick based on one statement is pretty assumptive and harsh. Neither party is right or wrong, they just are how they feel. And it’s a tough situation.
and to call a non-existant character that is nothing but a cartoon a dick, and then be judged by a real person for calling something that doesn’t exist a name is like really assumptive, harsh and dickish!
Plus, well, Walky is VERY socially awkward. You have to take into account that tact is a bit of a foreign concept for him, and Dorothy would know that
She seemed pretty clear in the past with the other guy when they first remeet in the dorms, which walky knew of. to not care for distant relationships. I’m pretty sure she told Walky straight up it was a “just while i’m here thing” so walky embraced the “it’s temp for physical dating while we aren’t studying”
She made it more than abundantly clear that she only wanted a short term relaxing kinda thing. Until she makes it clear she’d like anything more long term Walky’s really correct. She basically told him “friends with benefits, but just no others” but didn’t use the term.
and for her, and how she presents it, it’s not just a plan, it is a fact. She’s always used “will move” not “plan to move” or “hope to move” “want to move” etc, she’s used definitives. So as far as walky’s been shown and told, it is only a temp thing, a footnote in their lives.
Now he sure did a passive aggressive jab there; which wasn’t necessary (due to his being upset) but he’s well within his right to hold to a certain distance (for his own protection and because she specifically wanted a “not looking at marriage” kinda dating.
^ everything i wanted to say and more
Nailed it.
You can recognize that a relationship will be temporary and still take it fairly seriously, and I definitely feel like both of them are more invested than just friends with benefits. It’s not as if entering a serious romantic relationship is like a promise you’re going to marry them and even a marriage doesn’t always last forever.
Laying down a mutually understood end point isn’t super common and could turn off people who are looking for the long term, but it doesn’t mean it has to be casual. And sometimes, recognizing this is an important part of the honesty required to be that close to someone.
I dunno. This sounds like crazy talk to me. “This WILL end” and “this is deep, meaningful and serious” are mutually exclusive as far as I, and i think most people, are concerned. It’s a matter of self-preservation: you don’t invest yourself fully into something that you know can’t go on. If you do and the other person doesn’t, you end up hurt. If you both invest yourself fully, it gets complicated when it “has to end.”
Here Walky is just restating the definition that was more or less forced on him for both their protection, and it may be mean and passive-aggressive but if Dorothy still feels the same way (which she won’t, because otherwise she’s doomed to be removed from the comic and nobody gives up stardom! NOBODY!) then she’d recognize that he’s right and she’s pushing too hard.
It may be true for most people, but it’s not true for everyone. There are people who can take a relationship very seriously on multiple levels even while recognizing it’s temporary. It may be incompatible with what you need out of a relationship, but that doesn’t make it wrong or dishonest.
I don’t think Walky really thinks of his relationship at all, or it’s long- or short-term expectations. I think he’s just in it. I’m a lot like Walky in that I’ll say “I’m fine” to mean “I don’t want to talk,” so I am a little irritated with Dorothy not leaving him alone with his feelings, which is what he clearly wants. (There is more to communicatIon than the actual words being said.) So I feel like Walky’s “We’re not serious” is more of a dig, designed to hurt her feelings a bit since she’s not respecting his desire not to talk.
that is not the behavior associated with Passive/Agressive Disorder. COME ON GENERATION everything but boomers!! OPEN A BOOK and quit misusing medical & psychological terminology!
No, see, if they deliberately persist in misusing the term “passive aggressive” long enough, someone will eventually get fed up and define it for them, and save them the trouble of looking it up themselves.
“No, he’s using that “fact” (supposition, really–a plan, not a certainty) to excuse being emotionally distant.”
No, he’s stating the fact that their relationship is premised on a degree of emotional distance.
He’s not obligated to confide in her because it’s not that kind of relationship.
There are two people here with needs they can’t entirely meet. I don’t think either should be read as the bad guy in this situation.
Walky is “not good at” dealing with Billie’s feelings, which he has been trying to do all day. Part of him wants to just run and run and run away from Billie’s crisis, but he runs TOWARD the awkward because that’s what old friends do. Yet he feels like whatever he does may not be enough, and that makes him vulnerable and severely uncomfortable. He doesn’t like anyone to see that side of him, but especially not the girl who’s done more than anyone to make him feel like a man. The idea that a truly strong man shares his feelings and admits his fears is a little too advanced to expect of somebody whose entire lifeplan recently consisted of “McNuggets and pajama jeans.”
Dorothy may be starting to find her nice, neat, “no strings” relationship is unsustainable: she wants to be closer, wants to be the sort of person Walky would tell his deep troubles to, even if that would make it hurt more if she gets into Yale next semester. It’s neither wrong to try to protect yourself and your partner from hurt nor to want to be a shoulder to cry on.
And she may be a little inconsistent as a result, but I have to say, by the standards of college, she is AMAZINGLY good at stating her desires calmly and plainly.
I completely agree with this comment: no one is a terrible person here, Walky is having trouble dealing with serious stuff, and Dorothy is confronted to the limits she set herself. I will say however that Walky’s comment is unnecessarily mean-spirited and that even if they were exclusive friends with benefits (which they are not), friends can still talk to each other about their troubles…
Argh, I hate this Mary gravatar!
you’d better go to the gravatar site and upload a super pimpin’ awesome one like mine then
Tell me about it
It uses a hash of the email you provide to determine which “random” stock gravatar you get. If you change the email – and I think even trivial, otherwise meaningless changes, like fiddling with the capitalization, are enough – it’ll give you someone else. You may have to wait for Willis to approve you again, though.
Walky’s comment strikes me as being very offhanded, like his brain is just on another level of working entirely here. He’s very distracted right now, because he’s concerned about his old friend, and when one is distracted, one can sometimes be far more blunt than one means to be.
Like so many thing in life, it wasn’t the idea that was the problem, it was timing and the way it was delivered…
Not really. If I recall correctly, Dorothy was the one who first set the “we’re just having fun” stipulation.
If I’m wrong, I imagine some archive ninja will correct me. 😉
You do recall correctly. It looks like this is the first time she’s really seeing the downside of their arrangement.
Still a dick move.
Funny, coming from Mike.
Mike is the resident expert on dick moves.
Especially in the context of your mom.
It is kind of a dick move from him, but she’s said the same thing for a good while, and I guess it finally got to Walky. He’s apparently grown up a lot in the comics past day or two.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/spine/
Dorothy, meanwhile, is still getting the hang of this “even ratio of give and take” in relationships.
…Wait, does this mean Danny is indirectly responsible for the current disagreement. He is Danning up relationships remotely.
Oh dammit, Danny leveled up his Danning. He now doesn’t even have to be directly involved any more to screw it up. o.o
Teledanesis
Well… when Danny gets giggly (such as with Ethan just now) it echos and steals the giggly from else where.
Danification is ingrained into the physics of the DOA world.
Man, I hate that whole “indirectly responsible for former significant other’s behavior in future/subsequent relationships” thing. Not because I don’t think it’s a thing, but because my ex was a controlling asshole to the woman he dated immediately after we broke up, so I have to wonder how much of that was him and how much of it he learned from five years of dating a doormat (there is in fact such a thing as too much compromise). (Don’t get me wrong, the temper was ALL him, I take zero responsibility for that.)
I don’t know you or your ex, but, if it helps, my experience is that controlling assholes are born or raised that way, and they find or create doormats because they’re controlling assholes; ordinary non-assholes don’t become controlling assholes because they’re dating a doormat.
The canonical term is “Billieing it up” according to a fact-finding commission consisting of Alice, Ruth, Walky, her hometown’s school district, the Arab at orientation, Sal, Danny himself and Amazi-Girl/Amber.
Dorothy has stated it’s just for fun, but she’s still treating it as a genuine relationship and being open with walky. Acknowledging that it’s temporary doesn’t mean that it’s fake. For Dorothy, temporary is a disclaimer and a reminder, to help keep things friendly when the end comes and keep things running smoothly.
Walky, however, is using that temporary status as a shield. He’s hiding behind that instead of being open and honest at all. And he’s throwing it in her face as part of that, using his shield as an offense as much as a defense.
I mean, I have a FWB thing going right now. Unlike Dorothy and Walky who are declared exclusive and 100% boyfriend/girlfriend, my FWB and I are JUST Friends With Benefits. And we’re still both more open an honest with each other than that. (We do have a couple of do-not-mention topics and don’t-wanna-discuss topics, but it was an outright “I’d rather not talk about that”, with no passive aggressive hijinx or defensiveness involved)
Basically Walky is treating his relationship with Dorothy as less than my FWB arrangement and that is bullshit. So yeah, dick move.
Yay! Someone else who doesn’t think “temporary” means “lesser.” In fact, if Dorothy hadn’t made her plans for Yale and their implications to the relationship known, shed be investing less in the relationship by not being totally open, not more invested.
+1 (pleas ignore the Mary gravatar :p)
Well, there are things you don’t want to reveal to your friends. (Like your browser history, for example.) What seems to be happening here, in my mind anyway, is just that Walky is closer to Billie than he is to Dorothy.
And, well, he is. Dorothy is a friend, but Billie is essentially family. If something seriously wrong happened to a family member, you might not want to talk about it even to your friends. Dorothy’s probing is motivated by “I can tell you are hurting and I want to help.” Walky’s pushback is motivated by “I don’t want to violate Billie’s privacy to someone she barely knows.” The “I won’t tell you that something’s wrong in the first place” thing comes from Walky’s clumsiness around feelings combined with the greater distance between Walky-to-Dorothy than Walky-to-Billie.
For example, how many people have been informed that Joyce was traumatized at a party? The only main cast member who knows about that, outside this room, would be Amber/Amazi-Girl. Dorothy’s friends Danny and Joe don’t know, Joyce’s boyfriend Ethan doesn’t know. Roz was at the party herself and even she wasn’t informed. And if any of the above people asked about why Joyce seemed unusually nervous in the following days, do you think they’d get an answer? And now imagine something like that happened to someone even closer to the people involved.
Walky knows that Billie’s been through something seriously earth-shattering (for her standards anyway), and is attempting to respect her privacy in a similar way. He was present for the post-party debrief and swearing-to-secrecy, after all. He is clumsy as hell about it, he’s going to stumble around and step on some toes trying to find his footing, but that’s Walky for you.
Not to say that Dorothy’s unjustified in feeling hurt about it. Danny was talking to Ethan about a very similar situation maybe an hour ago. It’s totally understandable to feel hurt when people keep you at arm’s length when you just want to help them.
I think he’s catching feelings just as much as she is, and he’s pushing away a little so he can preemptively stop the hurt. It’s a little dick move, sure, but coming from an understandable place.
Dorothy’s the one who kept insisting that they had an expiration date, and that they keep it casual. Billy is Walky’s childhood friend, and to gossip about her mental health with a casual relation would be deeply inconsiderate.
Not that I disagree, but you keep repeating that.
Yeah. But folks keep hating on Walky for being a good friend to Billy. Partly, I think, because we all like Dorothy and when we see her getting upset it’s easy to blame him. But she made her bed.
Also, I did the same thing to an S/O (set an expiration date) and it was super crappy of me, because even though the person in question agreed to it at the time it put a lot of stress and grief in their life. So maybe I’m feeling a little annoyed with Dorothy for making the same mistakes.
Dorothy engaged Joyce in the conversation, but kept it fairly well at arm’s length. “I don’t know her very well” and “If its serious, she should consider a therapist” is all she says, and she’s asking Walky to be open with her about him not being okay, not really asking about Billy specifically. Last colic, she even implied she’d be okay with “I’m not okay, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
That may be what she said last comic, but now she’s saying she’s bothered that Walky can’t open up to her. It occurs to me that maybe Dorothy’s feelings have been in flux without her realizing it. I’m in the “Even if it is a dick move, it’s a justified one” camp. I’ll even go further that this is something Dorothy needed to be reminded of if for no other reason that maybe she needs to sit down and decide if she still wants what she thought she wanted, consider the effect having an end date might be having on Walky, and also decide if she wants to do the heavy lifting that would be required to get Walky to do the whole “feelings” thing. (Remember that Walky up to now has had very specific, stereotypical ideas about what is “manly” and what isn’t.)
Bingo!
I think we need to remember just how slow time is passing here. Walky and Dorothy have been together for ages to us, but for them it’s just been a couple of weeks.
Dorothy and Danny were together for years, and they still didn’t have the best communication going.
But, that’s what they agreed upon and what he consented to. She wants to change their arrangement, she’s gotta tell the boy in question.
To be honest, they’ve been dating a month, TOPS. And they only knew each other a week before that. Walky’s not obligated to feel EXTREMELY close to Dorothy in that amount of time regardless of the fact that she’s explicitly made it known that she’s leaving the first chance she gets.
Dropping truth bombs like a boss. You go Walky
It’s a dick move, but considering all the shit Walky’s been through the last few times we saw him: all the racism trouble about Sal going around in his head, and now Billie, his oldest friend who he can at least rely to be a constant in his life, acting all weird both in the morning and now during lunch…
And Dorothy, like everyone is saying, only knows Walky for like a month whereas Sal and Billie has been around for a year, and she’s being pretty pushy about it despite never really interacting with Billie. I can’t remember the last time that Dorothy and Billie spoke to each other since fighting over the Amazi-girl story, and she’s like “you need to tell me what is wrong about her!” and “she needs to go to the doctor!”
Compare it with Joyce, who likewise doesn’t understand things at all but is taking it in relatively well by not pushing her nose into shit she doesn’t understand beyond that ‘let’s spread Jesus’ which Walky took as more of a joke than anything.
Also, while Dorothy is a nice person in all other aspects, she’s always struck me as being a bit of a bongo when it comes to relationships. With Danny, she’s all “I’m breaking up because I’m going to focus on studies” and then proceeds to hook up with Walky a couple days/weeks later, sweet as it is.
And even with Walky she keeps establishing that their relationship is ‘for fun’, be it to Walky, Joyce, her parents, her ex and practically everyone who asks. I mean, I don’t deny that Dorothy seems to be a nice person in all other aspects, but between this and her rather one-note ‘I need to be president’ worldview and working within the lines and everything, she’s pretty screwed as well.
It’s always struck me that same people who make up different reasons for Dorothy breaking up with Danny than what actually happened (and then blame her for these fake reasons) are usually the same folks who are super-pleased to throw gender-charged epithets at her as well.
it’s very curious
Curious indeed. Danny was her bongo in their relationship! Why call Dorothy a bongo, when you can call her a dick, a prick, or a total tool?
Wait, that doesn’t make it better…
Really because I just re-read the strip and more time for studying is EXACTLY the reason she gives.
Maybe the problem is not with the reader but with your writing?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/kindness/
I really don’t know where you’re getting something about studying out of that. The extra time studying was on her mind, but it was not at all the reason she broke up with him. They were simply incompatible.
Link me the strip and quote to me what you’re saying she says. I can’t find it.
dude
dude
chill dude, no need to be like that
All the Willis is saying is that “bongo” is a mean word and you shouldn’t use it to describe a person
Also, that you are entirely wrong about Dorothy
More time for studying is the reason DANNY later gives for why he was dumped. Because he wasn’t listening to what she was saying. Because he was trying to live out a romantic fantasy with her, as he later attempts with Amazi-Girl.
The reason they broke up is because when faced with the ultimatum of either being together and stagnating or potentially growing strong apart Danny chose to be together and got upset when Dorothy didn’t agree. Saying that studies was the reason they broke up is like saying you were murdered by a bullet after someone shoots you.
I don’t think that Dorothy is completely exempt from blame in their breakup (for one thing she waited until the least opportune moment to leave Danny, which was a total dick move. And likely, as with all relationships, the incompatibility issue wasn’t 100% one sided) but calling her names because of the Walky/Danny situation is pretty unjustified.
With Danny – it wasn’t solely for her studies, he just honestly wasn’t the right person for her.
She made it clear multiple times what her goals were, and that she wanted to be with someone who didn’t focus their entire being on being with her – someone that could function as a person apart from her rather than clinging on and following her everywhere.
Danny cared more about her love than her dream, he cared more about marrying her than having his own dreams or goals, he was just going to live for the relationship. He didn’t care about being his own person and he didn’t really care if she achieved her dream or not as long as they were still together. He was pretty much the anti-Dorothy – no life goal and completely focused on love and relationships. :/
“No life goal and completely focused on love and relationships”
You mean like Joyce?
Well to be fair Danny’s not specifically at IU for the male equivalent of a “M.R.S.” degree, at least not after Dorothy dumped him for both of their own good (-s?).
She doesn’t make out with Joyce. ;P
Seriously, though, a significant other having romantic goals incompatible with yours or feeling that your relationship unhealthy is a totally reasonable justification for breaking up with them.
But Joyce is just Dorothy’s friend, and if she expects Joyce to stay out of her sex life, she has to reciprocate and not judge Joyce’s approach to romance. Unless its doing something seriously harmful (such as encouraging a gay man to stay closeted), in which case, yeah, there’d probably be some fallout.
On that not, is anyone else really looking forward to Dorothy learning Ethan is gay? That is going to be a major drama bomb with much potential for growth for everyone involved.
*LSP voice* Drama Bomb!
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/aprilfools/
Already happened! They are really the perfect couple (if avoiding sex is a priority).
@zolo That’s Joyce, not Dorothy.
But I’m not sure where Nogre is going with this “drama bomb” business. Dorothy just doesn’t seem likely to freak out about Ethan being gay, though she might get on Joyce’s case a little bit.
I looked it up and don’t really see her mentioning studying at all. She seems to be upset that Danny is both treating her life goal like something that can be revised for him, and trying to ruin his own life goals just to stay with her. Neither of them are wrong, I don’t think, but they have different priorities which make them incompatible.
Running face-first into the boundary wall of their relationship she built herself.
Did I miss a conversation where Dorothy said emotional honesty is of the table or does everyone think acknowledging a relationship as temporary implied that? Because it didn’t. It really, really doesn’t. There are more options than dating with an intention to marry and being friends with benefits.
This is strictly a wall Walky is placing and while it’s totally fine he does so, he’s being extremely hurtful about it, which isn’t okay, and I hope they work through it.
This is also taking place about a minute after Walky told her “I didn’t want to talk about it” and “I also don’t want to talk about not talking about it”. He could just as easily have told her “I don’t want to talk about why I don’t want to talk about it.”
He may be being hurtful about it, but this is something that Dorothy actually needs to think about.
It’s a dick move to tell Dorothy exactly what she’s told Walky about their relationship?
It would be, if he were throwing it back in her face.
And at first, I thought he was doing a little of that; I heard a little snark in his line. But if you look at his facial expressions, you can see something else going on there. Panels 3 and 4, he’s staring at the ground, his eyebrows are furrowing; I’m reading frustration there, and his mind seems to be at least partially somewhere else. When Dorothy addresses him and expresses what she’s feeling, he looks away with a little bit of anger.
But then in panel 5, I’m not seeing the anger in his response–his expression just looks anxious. He’s in over his head, he hates all these complicated problems and wants to keep it simple, but here Dorothy is bringing her complex emotional reactions into the picture on top of the Billie stuff, and it’s freaking his shit out. I’m hearing some hurt in his voice, some confusion. But this isn’t a bitter snipe at her.
Which is to say, Jim, that I agree with the thrust of your rhetorical question, that Walky is just voicing what’s on his mind, but I also can see how one would think Walky was bein’ a jerk. Heck, I thought he was bein’ a jerk until I read the strip a second time.
Right in the feels
Eh, I’d chalk it up to immaturity, and/or just a fear of getting too close because he knows there will be pain later.
Touché.
No, Dorothy, you can do better. No distractions!
Ooooooooo other person’s shoes.
“I saw what you did to that Danny guy. I’m keepin’ an emotional distance.”
Are you saying that Dotty danned up Danny?
Before he met Dorothy, his name was Tyler.
Nah, Tyler’s loogie-fetish guy.
EXACTLY.
Danny’s mental image was actually of Ethan giving him a loogie, not a kiss.
AAaachoo
Danny Durden.
Was Dorothy’s name Marla before?
Jerkass walky gonna make some good points
you call him a jerk yet say he’s making good points…isn’t that just called being honest?
It’s called brutal honesty for a reason.
You can be a jerk and be honest at the same time.
“I think you could wear a different tie to complement your coat.” Being honest without being a jerk.
“Good lord, where did you buy that tie? That looks horrendous!” Being a jerk and being honest.
You, too, can be Mike.
Or my mom’s favorite line, “…honey, do you look in the mirror before you leave the house?”
(The best part was her follow-up one time, which was to tell me that I needed to focus on my appearance more because my personality isn’t enough to keep a man. The argument that ensued was FUN.)
…wow.
Wow never thought I’d see the day when Walky is a jerk.
DOA Walky has always seemed like a jerk to me. He’s ridiculously misogynist and gender essentialist, and mocks others constantly.
But despite that, I agree with others who have said this isn’t really a jerk move since Dorothy is the one who first defined their relationship as “just for fun”. It’s something Walky and Dorothy will have to seriously consider going forward, since their relationship has already cut into Dorothy’s academic focus, and they’re getting emotionally close to the point where it will hurt to separate.
He’s got his gender and race issues to work out, but I wouldn’t say he’s “ridiculously” misogynistic (or racist, for that matter). And he seems self-reflective enough to do just that (sort out his issues).
Someone can be a racist or a misogynist without being a jerk. Sometimes it’s just ignorance, and I think that’s the case with Walky. He is learning, though, particularly with the race stuff. And I think the fact he’s making an effort and giving it additional thought indicates he’s a pretty good guy overall.
Though yes, he’s really overreacting here.
Girlfriend doesn’t equate best friend.
Did Joyce just use the word “preposterous” in a sentence casually? Is Joyce the world’s youngest Grandma?
“Preposterous” is a perfectly cromulent word.
You don’t use the word “preposterous” casually?
That’d be proposterous!
Ludicrous even.
I’m flabbergasted.
I use all three of these words all the time in my daily speech.
Color me jealous. I hardly ever have occasion to be flabbergasted, let alone to comment on it.
You keep using that word…I do not think it means what you think it means…
Relevant
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/02-uphill-from-here/twitter/
She was homeschooled by older parents (since she was the youngest in the family, they were older when they had her). So she might have picked up some of their phrases and words.
Sorry Yoto, I didn’t mean that to come off as snotty as it probably sounded!
Didn’t sound snotty to us; you’re fine.
Definitely not snotty enough for Tyler.
For someone so progressive about sex, I’m surprised she thought this. They’ve only been together for less than a month now, there’s no reason for Walky to completely open up emotionally yet if he’s not ready.
For once he makes sense.
Still a total dick move, but I see his logic.
“So, like, if I don’t go to Yale, you’ll tell me?”
So Walky becomes the new Danny?
I think that’d make Dorothy the new Danny.
“So, like, if you don’t go to Yale, I’m not allowed to have boundaries?”
Nah, Dorothy’s still got a few old-fashioned hang-ups regarding sex and relationships. She needed a few lectures from Roz to get this far, after all.
wow ok then
the feeeeeeeeeeels
Anyone else think that Walky has kinda been a dick lately?
Joyce does.
But Walky’s usually more smart-alecky than mean. I think his comments are getting more cutting, probably because he’s starting to come under some stress.
I kinda miss goofy childish Walky from I!W.
Walky’s kind of a dick every day. Today though, he’s genuine upset. Walky’s spent his life tuning out whatever emotional unpleasantness he doesn’t want to deal with, now things he can’t ignore are slapping him in the face and he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
This. Dorothy is well intentioned, but maybe Walky doesn’t need to hear “I’m upset you feel don’t close enough to me to tell me what’s bothering you.” right now. I know that, at the end of the day, she wants to help, but Dorothy is just adding to the pressure on Walky right now. I really think he deserves some slack here.
Yeah, this. Dorothy knows Walky is upset, she knows he’s worried about a friend he’s known for a long time, and she knows that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Even if her concerns about their relationship were totally reasonable (and I think Walky has a point), now is not the time to bring them up; now is the time to say “if there’s anything I can do, let me know” and leave the relationship discussion for later.
I’m pretty sure she’s actually saying “I’m upset you don’t feel close enough to me to tell me THAT something’s bothering you.”
I didn’t take Joyce to be a Tumblr user. XD
Really? I did.
Hopefully however she found out about it also educated her on the need for filters.
I’d like to think Mary is an avid Tumblr user, and helped Joyce set up all her filters.
If you think about Joyce’s interactions with other characters, the hovertext actually kinda makes sense. I know it’s not true, but it makes sense
WHAT IS THAT THING ON TOP OF WALKY’S HEAD IS IT A BAT?!
He is vengeance; he is the night; he is remarkably aware of the sort of relationship he’s in right now!
Welcome to Dannytown, Dorothy. Your hotel room comes with a free side of self-loathing.
On the plus side, you’ll find out something new about yourself when Joyce falls on you to save you from a skateboarding Marcie.
Your comment makes me unreasonably happy, and your avatar makes it even better.
Man, I hate it when people use my own words to win an argument against me.
I think Walky is acting this way because Billie is like a sister to him really. He’s close enough to her to feel a great deal of concern for her and he really doesn’t want people who don’t really know her to be involved in Billie’s issues.
I’m not sure Walky handles all this feeling stuff very well, hence the way he presents himself to people. If he’s being a dick right now it’s because he’s trying to process the whole Billie thing and figure out what’s wrong to try and help her. His mind is elsewhere really. Or so I think anyway.
There is also his recent argument with Sal, where he had come to realize that maybe he is the favorite at least in Sal’s eyes. He might feel that he not only failed one sister but two.
New DOA Gameshow – Jerkass Or No?
Jerkass with a Heart of Gold.
I’d like to phone a jerkass
Why bother, they would just hang up on ya.
‘Yes, I know the answer.’
-click-
I wish I could up vote or Like this comment but this reply will have to do.
Ethan-jerkass
Walky-bit of a jerkass
Danny- frustrating but no
Carla- jerkass in training
Mike- king jerkass.
It looks like some people are getting mad at Walky for saying that to Dorothy, but I think she’s being rude by pushing him to talk about Billie when he clearly doesn’t want to. She’s not respecting his boundaries and on top of that trying to make it all about her instead of giving him space to process his feelings. Ugh people like her annoy me so much
agree with you. so much.
Dorothy asks if Walky is okay and he says yes. Joyce says he’s not, so Dorothy asks him to be honest about it, but not necessarily to tell her everything “Tell me you don’t want to talk about it.” Not “Spill it. I want you to tell me everything!” She then talks to Joyce about Billy, admitting she didn’t know much, and then she wants to talk to Walky why he’s being dishonest about his feelings.
Where does she push him to talk about Billy? Acknowledging that something is bothering him doesn’t count and that seemed to me all she’s asking. She also didn’t try to make Billy’s problems all about her; she just wanted to talk about his emotional distance. Also, everything she’s saying is very polite and open to honest discussion about the boundaries of their relationship; she’s not ignoring his boundaries; she’s asking about them and staying here feelings.
I really don’t understand where you’re getting this pushiness and disrespect from her actions. I understand Walky’s response because of all the stress, but it was hardly justified by her actions.
“It bothers ME that YOU don’t think we’re close enough” (emphasis mine). Dorothy has now gone from “I just want you to be honest with me.” to “I want to talk about why you don’t want to tell me something is bothering you,” which would require Walky to process what he wants to process. Bothered or not, Dorothy (IMO) needs to realize now is not the time and back off.
*sigh* “…doesn’t want to process”
Because when you don’t want to talk about one thing (that remains the subject of ongoing conversation), you often don’t want to talk about other tangentially-related or even unrelated emotionally-laden topics.
Like ouch.
Yikes Dorothy, way to turn Walky worrying about his friend and her problems into something that’s all about you. The man has difficulty talking about emotional subjects, respect that. Being supportive doesn’t mean pressuring people into telling you things when they’re not ready to share, and then trying to make them feel guilty about it when they resist. THAT’S a dick move.
you think Dorothy was trying to guilt walky?
Not intentionally or in a malicious way, but she definitely was.
She was bothered by him being dishonest with her about going through a rough time, and she expressed those feelings along with a request to be more open. If expressing that you’re hurt by something someone does is guilt tripping them and making it all about yourself, it’s kind of impossible to work on any relationship, let alone a romantic one.
Yeah, it’s like kindly asking a friend to be honest about his feelings is some kind of emotional blackmail or nagging curiosity for some people… So many people seem to lash out on Dororthy for being an honest, respectful person that simply asks for the same thing in return. In all this series we have only seen her angry ONCE, when her boyfriend of several years outright disregarded her deepest dreams and suggested she abandon them, and ever since the first thing she does she is pointed out at controlling, or a bongo… Plenty of rampant misogyny going on here in my opinion.
Why do so many people treat Walky’s actions like he’s lying about cheating on her or something? He’s avoiding a topic. It’s a tiny “white lie” at worst. A fiblet. He didn’t coerce her into robbing a bank with him.
+1
…But every morning I wake up and worry
“What’s gonna happen today?”
You see it your way, I see it mine
And we BOTH see it slipping away–The Eagles
Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can’t go on
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that or love may soon be gone
– The Beatles
Dorothy needs to stop budding herself into things.
She’s not. And the fact that so many people have become so defensive and hostile over a couple simple questions is a bit disturbing.
“Budding herself”? Like a fungus?
… That last panel, though. Ow. Dorothy’s been developing Feelings and so has Walky and they’re just now realizing that this may not be compatible with previously-set plans.
(Also, I’m now imagining Joyce and Walky drowning their sorrows in soda and cartoons together once Dorothy leaves. Sobbing over her favorite episode while Sarah is torn between being big sister and just rolling her eyes forever. Rolling her eyes wins out.)
Dorothy did not ‘do anything’ to screw up Danny Yotomoe. She actually tried to set a distance from him in HS when she told him she was not staying with him in neighborhood but going to college. He knew that, but chose to ignore it.
When she actually went, he followed her. She was not pleased to see him thinking they were picking up from HS when she tried to diplomatically tell him it was over and he did not take the hint.
Danny doesn’t do subtly.
She told him she moving on to grad school, he said okay, he’d go too. That’s when she stopped being subtle. She pointed out that he was not there for an education, only for her. And she did not have a relationship beyond hs in mind. She flat told him to leave her alone and move along with his life.
I don’t think that was wrong. Tough yes.
As to Walky, she should not expect him to open up about his childhood friend Billie, unless he choses to. She did state the boundries of their relationship. Walky may have been a bit more diplomatic about it, but still within his rights.
Dorothy looks like she’s having 2nd thoughts about that now. Walky may or may not be, can’t tells because he’s worried about Billie.
Oh, do I detect Dorothy feels for Walky?
I generally see Walky as being someone that sometimes does jerky things, but usually without jerky intent. He’s immature (largely cause he wants to be), and he’s passive (in a different way than Danny) so he lets others ‘define’ their relationships with him. Thus, this exchange with Dorothy, and how he interacts with Billie sometimes (Billie goes on and on about not being his friend, so he throws that back at her when she tries to tag along).
Not saying that’s how he always acts, just something he seems to do from time to time.
Oww,..
That stung a bit. I hope this doesn’t make her give up her dreams.
You must not think much about her dreams if you think this is a major deciding factor. <_< Just saying.
Quite the contrary,.. I’m just aware of how people can shift away from what they want for what they may think they need. Too many friends who gave up a dream for love or someone elses dream.
Sigh,… Why would I think them less?
People make choices all the time.
meh, it’s not like he’s wrong
At some point something was going to remind her of that herself and we would be in the same situation with Dorothy closing herself off.
Also, make note how Dorothy doesn’t really care about Joyce’s explanation about what’s wrong with Billie and is all ‘Walky why won’t you talk to me!’ That strikes me as extremely self-centered as well.
Or she’s noticing how upset he is and wants to help but he won’t let her?
to be fair, ignoring Joyce is usually a good idea
Billie and Dorothy barely know each other; I wouldn’t call it self-centered to not prioritize someone you hardly know who’s not even there over your boyfriend.
Exactly: she is not fishing for gossip or asking for personal information about a girls he hardly knows. She is trying to reach out to her (boy)friend.
I was kind of wondering when this would start to show after Dorothy trying to explain sex to Joyce. Mostly because I think that is one of many possible instances that showed Dorothy starting to fall more for Walky than she was either expecting or wanted. It would also help explain why she is caring a bit more about Walky’s friends or other issues in life. Meanwhile Walky is dealing with the issues of Billie,Sal,and possible realizations about his parents. Someone who knows you for about a month,even dating-wise, is probably not a person you talk to unless they just have something about them that manages to bring it out of you. When these 2 agreed on the relationship only being for fun, they were setting themselves up for a possible confrontation like this.
I think this is actually a bit of emotional growth for Dorothy (which seems to be spreading like a virus lately) showing that she’s found someone she likes enough to not up and forget as soon as Yale comes around.
Does everyone forget the part where Danny pretty much said “Well, you don’t know what you really want…” and that’s when she broke up with him? She was upfront about her plans before coming to IU, tried to convince Danny following her was a bad idea, he didn’t listen, told him again at IU, he didn’t listen, and then she broke up with him. The selfish part was not breaking it off the first time he didn’t listen.
Yes, she has goals; shouldn’t that be a good thing? Why is Dorothy having goals a bad thing?
I’m not saying having a plan is bad. Dorothy’s easily one of the smartest characters for having post grad asperations. l’m just saying that she put those limits on and for her to regret thst even just a little shows a bit of change on her part, which is happening to everybody.
A better way of explaining some of what I saw trying to say from both of you, Keen and Sirk.
Curse my misspelling.
Hey here’s a wacky idea, what if, instead of calling Dorothy sexist slurs or trying to make up reasons why this is someone’s fault, we just go “awwww, poor kids D:” like sensible people?
Cause they’re both right–Walky should trust Dorothy. She’s a good lady and she’s got a good heart; but on the other hand she was the one who set some pretty hardcore limits, and when you do that you’re never ready for how Feelings will come into it. As they are both realizing.
I mean, if you want you can keep playing the blame game and adding a spice of sexist bullshit, but.
I couldn’t agree more. I think the main thing that people here forget is that the characters are both young, and unable externally view their own lives.
I see so many people talking about what should or shouldn’t have been done or why they hate one character or another. I don’t see how people can get so passionately hateful towards fictional characters.
Guess it’s a testament to Willis’ writing.
I agree with this poast.
They both have fair points – it’s an incredibly young relationship, in theory just “for fun”. Against that, Walky is becoming increasingly worried about one of his oldest friends – and he isn’t good at articulating this stuff in the first place.
So yeah, they are both right, both wrong – both just your regular idiot young humans.
*Remembers this comic is not called “Smart People Acting Smartly All The Time”*
Feeling empathy for someone in a difficult situation or who just made some horrible mistake? That’s way to reasonable! 😛 Next you’ll suggest respecting someone who has different priorities than you or trying to learn something new!
“Joyce thinks basically everyone is awesome, except straight males.”
The Joyce/Danny ship lives…
Is it too early to hoist the Blue Peter?
List of straight males Joyce likes:
Uh…
…Er…
…Jacob?
Jesus, her dad, her three brothers (AHAHAHAHA), her various pastors
two brothers.
Even though it been beaten to a pulp from the beginning?
Joyce: “Wait a second — why is Danny suddenly awesome?”
…
In other words, Joyce’s opinions work the same way as DoA commenters.
So Joyce is hoping Danny will hook up with Ethan to end the sham of a relationship he has with Joyce?
Maybe not, but she’d definitely want to help them both defeat their urges.
Defeat them by confronting them! Together! While she watches! And then they rub things on her tummy! While praising the Lord!
…
Jesus Christ! Sorry, things get kind of weird when I try to follow imaginary-Joyce’s thoughts. She’s a little strange.
For a chapter named “The Whiteboard Ding Dong Bandit”, there sure is a lot of drama.
Yeah, lets not forget there’s a maniac out there dick defacing every whiteboard in eyeshot.
8====D (hehehe)
“Eyeshot” is sort of an unfortunate word to use in this context.
The next chapter is going to be a bongo.
Let me preface this. I like Dorothy a lot. One of my favorite characters.
But am I the only one here who thinks Walky is completely fucking justified? Dorothy says she wants casual, but everything she does is screaming that she wants a commitment. She thought she could tell him how to dress. She thought that he would open up to her about the problems a lifelong friend of his was having after a month of dating. She involves him in her life and her drama at every turn, and was excited to meet his parents and introduce him to hers. All the while making it very clear she doesn’t intend to stick around. She is sending him mixed signals about what she wants out of this, which is at best a sign of uncharacteristic immaturity and at worst outright emotionally manipulative. I think Dorothy is great but I’m completely behind Walky on this.
Are you saying Dorothy doesn’t know what she wants?
This is exactly what gears is saying.
She needs to think about what she wants.
I agree. I don’t like her though. She’s just not nice.
We have very different definitions of nice. Dorothy is super thoughtful and nice. But obviously not your cup of tea.
Dorothy didn’t intend Walky to meet her parents, they were just privy to Walky’s parents demanding to meet Dorothy and got pulled in.
She’s starting to realize she’s actually falling for Walky (and probably secretly cursing her parents for being right), but Freshers’ Family Weekend was not her fault.
“She thought she could tell him how to dress.”
Leave the place better than you found it. She says as much. And she let him pick something for her, too.
“and was excited to meet his parents and introduce him to hers.”
Utterly untrue. The opposite of what happened.
“which is at best a sign of uncharacteristic immaturity”
She is 18 years old. Some occasional immaturity is inevitable.
You can want more out of a relationship than sex even if the relationship is understood to be temporary. Even asking for some level of emotional intimacy isn’t at all unreasonable, especially when you’ve grown to care for someone.
Walky has the right to say no to that, but this was a really dickish way to approach it. Understandable due to recent events, but still dickish. I hope they sit down and talk this over at some point instead of just leaving things on stuff a crappy note.
Uh, Dorothy does want to have a casual relationship. Just not with someone who does not want to have a serious relationship.
Now Walky seemed perfect because he did not seem capable of any serious commitment, so if he gave all he could, it still would have been easy for Dorothy to reciprocate.
Now that it is coming out that Walky is capable of serious commitment and compassion, Dorothy feels like she is being sold short. Which is really bad since she picked Walky exactly because it looked like she would be able to go lightly on commitment without a bad conscience because, of course, it would be all he could be considered good for.
Now Dorothy feels cheated because she only got what she bargained for rather than all that Walky is capable of.
She feels cheated because he matched the deal she offered.
And she’s smart enough to realize whose fault that actually is.
Yep. On the nose.
Yes and no.
Dorothy is certainly surprised to learn that Walky thinks a casual relationship is, you know, casual. I think she’s also surprised to learn that many casual relationships either fall apart or stop being casual. She’s going to have to choose which one she really wants, and she’s going to have to deal with the fallout either way. Ouch.
Meanwhile, whodathunkit: parents aren’t entirely stupid! Dorothy’s mother called this one perfectly: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/forfun/ Now, the question is what decision Dorothy makes when confronted with the same issue.
Walky has a point, but I can see why Dorothy is hurt by this. Just because you’re in a relationship with set boundaries/limits to how far you can go doesn’t mean you’re automatically disallowed from seeking out things like emotional availability, sincerity, or trust. Especially considering how intimate these two have become, in such a relatively short amount of time.
On some level, Dorothy is probably still used to the situation when she was dating Danny—who would not have been able to brush her off like this if she wanted to know something, and probably wouldn’t have tried in the first place. Walky’s a very, very different person from Danny and Dorothy’s still getting used to that, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to assume (perhaps not to expect, but at least to assume) that Walky would be willing to open up about things like this.
My bro..he says stuff sometimes..
Walky dropping a decoy Truth bomb to make his escape.
sounds like he’s channelin’ his inner Ninja Jesus.
…I’m sorry, I’ve just always wanted to do something with your name.
re: alt text, I like the way joyce thinks ;B
Damn someone got a little to close for comfort.
It was a bit harsh on Walky’s part, but yeah, he’s right. There is a downside to choosing one’s career as one’s life goal, Dorothy. It’s not right or wrong to do so; just be aware that people do have needs (emotionally as well as physically), and sometimes they might not be willing to take a back seat to your first priority. There’s a reason why so many long-distance relationships fail. The same truth applies to relationships where one partner is always focusing more on something else in their life.
I’m kind of with Walky on this one. Dorothy set the parameters for the relationship as being ‘casual’, plus they’ve only been dating for a month.
Meanwhile Billie’s his childhood friend who’s struggling with depression. She needs to understand that he’s gonna have some boundaries too. If she wants a closer relationship she needs to initiate it.
Yep, awful day for everyone.
Or it could be laying the groundwork for better days.
It isn’t this strip that made me hate Walky- I could never stand his personality (I can’t stand Dorothy’s voice-of-reason shit, either, but to a much lesser degree).
God, this comic is agonizing. It’s always getting somewhere, but is never there.
Interesting comment about the comic. I suppose you’re right, but I usually enjoy the ride. (Although I did think Amber’s/Amazing Girl’s “I only have one last night to confront Sal before I have to stop being Amazing Girl” storyline was anticlimactic all around. Still, that’s another discussion.)
This is the second comic in three days to really hit me in the feels. I’m a lot like Dorothy in that my career goals are extremely important to me, and I’ve had to make sacrifices to stick to that. Most recently, it’s been moving almost a thousand miles away from many long time friends and close family so I could start an absolutely incredible job. It’s been rough, and I really empathise with Dorothy’s struggles here. It’s one of the few things that makes me glad I’m single.
I hope she convinces Walky to have a serious talk about this, though so they can both establish what they want and expect from each other. Some level of emotional honesty is important even in friendships, and she clearly cares a great deal about him, and the fact that her other goals come first doesn’t invalidate those feelings. It’s hard to tell since he may just be worried about Billie, but Walky may also need to air out singer feelings of his own about the direction they’re moving. I haven’t noticed anything along those lines before now, since he’s been so supportive.
Definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.
*reads alt text*
JOYCE IS WILLIS
You know guys it is possible for them to both be right?
It is also possible for both of them to be wrong. Or, as in this case, both being right in the wrong way.
but that would defuse the drama bomb, and no-one wants that
True, but sometimes it’s as satisfying to see people work madly to successfully defuse a drama bomb as it is to see it explode. As long as the bomb exists in the first place.
[Fiddler on the Roof voice]: He’s right, and she’s right? How can they both be right?
I wonder how many if you have raised kids. 😉
OF COURSE Walky is a bit of a jerk here. And OF COURSE this is when Dorothy’s own boundaries backfire at her.
And OF COURSE it is a bit self-centered of Dorothy to (unintentionally) guilt-trip Walky for not opening up about his concerns. And OF COURSE Walky should have said that he is trying to first sort all this shit in his own mind, shit that he’s probably dealing with for the first time…
This is a comic about kids growing up, remember? It would have been completely unrealistic if these kids were behaving in the way that we would want, or advise, them to behave.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The worst part is I can’t even get that mad at Walky; how did I not see this coming?
I wonder if maybe Walky figures that it is only matter of time before Mike spills the beans about Billie sharing (but not Sexing?) Walky’s bed and thus the end of him and Dorothy. Maybe this is his way of
1) Protecting Billie from having even MORE people having contempt for her.
2) Protecting himself from something he is afraid he actually wanted (emotionally intimate relationship with dorothy) and screwed up by being irresponsible.
3) Perhaps protecting Dorothy by letting her think that she never got access to him emotionally. Rather than let her learn she did get access and he slept with someone else anyway.
The sad thing is none of that is Dorothy’s fault but at the same time does she have a right to get mad for getting what she said she wanted?
Billie slept in Walky’s bed, they didn’t have sex, why would Dorothy be upset about that?
Because women are often portrayed as getting upset about that sort of thing in movies and TV shows, and regardless of that being a sexist trope Walky may have internalized this?
Dorothy is not dense; she’ll calmly bring it up with Walky and things will get cleared up.
Walky is employed to be a boy toy and sidekick. This was Danny’s role earlier, but he wanted more, so she ended it. To be fair, Danny wanted to be a 1950s wife for Dorothy.
They can have sexy times and adventures, but Dorothy was the one who insisted that this was a casual relationship. Now her brain is telling her irrational things.
Seriously? Just tell her that you don’t want to talk about here behind her back. Why create all this unnecessarily drama?
Also, the fuck are you doing Walky? She’s hot, smart, ambitious. Don’t you let her get away. She’s the best you’ll ever have idiot!
You sound disturbingly like Danny’s parents.
Not every situation or conflict needs to have a right and a wrong.
T Campbell posted a really good analysis further up the comments section that pretty much erased any comments I had before I could even write them.
I usually just do a word search on the comments for “t cam” before I read or write anything else.
Something just occurred to me. On the night when they first *insert euphemism*, Walky had earlier approached Dorothy with an invitation to go out to dinner somewhere out of his comfort zone in an effort for them to both “try a little harder”. Instead, they spent the evening chasing Amazing Girl so Dorothy could get a story for the paper. (I’m not saying Dorothy is wrong to have goals, stay with me here.)
Now, I doubt that Walky was upset about that given what happened later, but he has indicated in the past that he’d like to be a bit higher on Dorothy’s list of priorities. Just because he accepts his place on the list and want’s to be supportive doesn’t mean he’s okay with it. Yeah, Walky is being a dick here, but he has a lot of stuff he is dealing with right now and that stuff includes Dorothy. Dick or not, I don’t think Walky is saying anything that doesn’t need to be said.
I agree, Walky has seemed to resent in the past that “they’re just doing this for fun.” Not that either of them are wrong for wanting different things.
Remember, the reason they were chasing Amazi-Girl around campus is because Walky brought it to her, specifically so they could investigate it.
It’s strips like this where you look at character flaws, and the actions of one person to another, and you realize that this came about due to great fucking writing. Bravo Willis, bravo.
Don’t worry, Walky! Willis said the comic will never reach Sophomore year so Dorothy never actually has to go to Yale whatever her plans are. (Sorry, Dorothy, you’re stuck in a time loop…)
He speaks the truth, but that was a bit cold and out of nowhere
Oh feels. 🙁
Looks to me like somebody fell a little harder for the boy than she intended…*grabs popcorn*
thats right the only 3 people joyce hates are the 3 straight males she spent time with well 4 counting mike as a punching shaparone
Mike isn’t straight.
Refresh my memory. What makes us think Joyce hates Mike?
“your genuine reactions to things unrelated to me hurt me no i’m not manipulative and make everything a problem + about me” dorothy this is twice now
OK, this shit drives me nuts
I thought things were looking up when the song wrecking ball became a big hit, but oddly nobody seemed to “get it”
The song is about losing a relationship and hurting someone by DEMANDING INTIMACY AND OPENNESS
DEMANDING
that is no way to get trust or openness, it turns you into another problem they have to deal with