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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov ⋅ 14h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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THAT’S our Malaya!
goddammit
*che laugh track and applause*
She just HAD to be that GAL……
Just had a flashback. All I heard was “Goddamnit, Nappa”
So, that is for shortpacked, right?
Goddammit Malaya.
GODDAMMIT MALAYA.
GOD. DAMMIT. MALAYA.
Malayadammit God.
Dammit Malaya-God
Before sunrise? Are they vampires?
WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Damn it, Dio! Why can’t you stay dead…like Diego?
You thought it was Yotomoe commenting, but it was I, DIO.
Yeah…aren’t you dead..or something? I don’t know..after Stardust Crusaders, things get really, really weird…and don’t get me started on Steel Ball Run.
Holy Diver,
You’ve been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what’s becoming of me
Wrong Dio.
“Holy Diver” Dio is NEVER the wrong Dio.
this is the correct answer.
100% concur!
Eeyup
Toki Wo TOmare!
Unlike Twilight vampires, when the sun hits them, their hair goes all curly.
It becomes beautifro
I’m taking that, “beautifro.”
just from dusk ’til dawn
Oh I see, so Sal is short for Salma Hayek.
That would be funny if a parking lot was their version of coffins, tho.
“We haveta be in a shitty parking lot at sunrise, so we can turn into good little Christian girls”
…wait
Sounds like a SyFy plot in the making if they get sick of making monster movies.
Hey, they’re perfectly capable of making crappy horror movies too.
House of Bones is a thing. One that sounds like someone looked at a Call of Cthulhu campaign and went ‘This would look awesome on tv.’
You just made Sal ten times hotter, to me.
What, no, that’s dumb.
They’re clearly gargoyles.
So they will Turn To Stone?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjE4f5trLRQ
Sal+Marcie+Sunrise. Aww, that’s sweet. There is no limit to Sal’s awesomeness.
GODDAMMIT MALAYA!
Nice try, Danny.
“Don’t make me come in there and defend your honor”
Fuck, I’m already in the White Armor. Damnit Malaya.
The idea of her even giving a rat’s ass about Malaya’s honor is amusing.
ditto the idea of malaya even having honor
Whitebeard lived and died without taking a single coward’s injury.
He never truly cared for the concept, but his men respected him too much to let his name be besmirched. Any time his back was exposed to an enemy, his men would be right there protecting it.
Sometimes honor manifests itself through the company you keep.
Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a pain, no it’s Malaya!
Pain is definitely also involved, though.
Malaya makes the best faces.
Also, goddamnit Malaya.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, it’s just somehow INCREDIBLY satisfying to see Malaya thrown through the air like a frisbee.
Some people just have to learn the hard way.
Normally, getting clotheslined IS “the hard way”. For Malaya? That’s just a regular Tuesday.
She is NOT well liked.
She’ll lose her memory by tommorrow, I bet.
MALAYA NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reading this i was like
“how will yotomoe react”
in my mind it was exactly like this
WAIT, you got to admit ass looks amazing when its flying through the air.
You’re right. And her butt isn’t too bad either.
Also, new Sierra Art. I’m totes hooked!!!
Guess who I thought about when I saw it!?
…wait, that’s creepy, we don’t even know each other.
fuck, i was definitely being creepy.
Is that Malaya trying to do a flying knee drop on Amazi-Girl, or are we seeing the after-effects of Amazi-Girl’s response to the leg in the breadbasket?
assuming it’s like The Hulk and/or she can reflect any damage inflicted upon her
…I’m now picturing Amazi-Girl doing that Don Flamenco taunt
“BLUH BLUH BLUH”
*punch*
*does Flamenco Punch accompanied by shitty 8-bit SFX*
I’m seeing Ryuji Yamazaki’s taunt-counter, but the effect is pretty similar.
Signs (okay, the speed lines) point to the latter.
Amazi-girl was looking for a fight, but the lawful nature of her persona wouldn’t let her start one without a good reason. Despite her bluster, underage drinking is not a good reason to start a fight. Defending yourself from assault is, so Malaya just gave her “permission” to cut loose.
You mess with the bull you get the horns, you mess Amazi-girl you get fucked up.
I love you Malaya, never change. Well, maybe become more bitter.
She’ll be like 10 week old vegetables.
Like beer with too much hops!
India pale ale
Wait, is that ten 1-week old vegetables, or a group of vegetables that’s ten weeks old?
In either case, I’m not really thinking bitter, as much as I’m thinking… disgusting.
Bitter as wormwood
I believe she can fly, I believe she can touch the sky…
That is some throw.
Squirrel powers give AG super-strength.
AND JUSTICE, but mostly squirrel powers.
Probably a new record.
And I’m curious as to why sunrise matters. Is Sal a vampire? Or Marcie? Maybe Carla, she’s kind of pasty.
She’s actually TRANSylvanian.
Carla is Tim Curry?
I’d guess something to do with the fact that they need to be out of the area with their booze without fighting /before/ the camera’s can catch their faces.
Probably because sunlight = day = Walmart actually giving a s**t about underage kids drinking and fighting in their parking lot where potential customers can see them.
Also, day = school, which Sal is trying her best to attend regularly and not suck at. And, as everyone should know, not sucking at school = sleep, which means Sal really should get at least a little.
Not that that’s going to happen, now, since Malaya obligingly gave AG an excuse to go aggro (as I knew she would – goddammit, Malaya). Now they really will be Up All Night – To Get Vengance.
By the way, Willis, nice effect of the false dawn (the lighter purples) in the sky in the background.
I was gonna say eventide, but that’s the opposite
You blew it, Malaya.
She danned it up again.
So is Malayaing just Danning but angry?
Danning is fucking things up because your firmly held ideas of How Things Should Be blind you to what actually is.
Malayaing is fucking things up just because you’re a violent spite-filled jerk.
So, Danning but spiteful
No, no, when a person Dans it up, they only probably deserve the horrible consequences of their actions, and I will eventually get tired of seeing them rain down upon them.
When one Malayas it up, they absolutely deserve every one of those consequences, and more, and I will never tire of seeing their suffering.
So, Danning but spiteful
[at Malaya]
So, where does Billieing fit into this?
That requires more alcohol.
And a window.
I see a new “Danning it up” on the horizon.
Does AG want Sal to hurt her as payback for the stabbing, or does she want Sal to hurt her so she can start a fight? That is, is the motivation guilt or revenge?
why not both?
“Sal! That’s it!!! I’ve been waiting for this PAIN!!!”
That’s what I was thinking too.
Both times AG went after Sal it was all anger, so I guessed that AG wanted to avenge Ethan and show that she/Amber is no longer a scared, geeky girl that cowers even when friends are threatened.
But here she actually says “fight me” and “hurt me”. That’s different on so many levels.
“Hurt me” may just be saying, “I need a reason to attack you, give it to me!” OTOH, it may speak to a deeper need to be hurt, but I don’t think so. Masochism is usually driven by guilt, and I don’t see a lot of guilt in Amber – shame, definitely, and anger, but not guilt. Not yet, at least.
Yeah, it seems less clear to me now that she said both together. I considered quite a few other meanings, physical and non-physical, before I stopped and simply commented “so many levels”. Of course, only Willis gets to decide which one(s).
“Hurt me”? Could it be that–at least to some degree–Amber actually wants Sal to beat her up? Does she have some sort of feeling that that will make them “even”? That it will somehow make up for her stabbing Sal all that time ago? Man, this storyline is just so….. wow. Just…. all the feels.
Yeah, it looks like, and suddenly this situation has suddenly–somehow–become even more fucked-up. I don’t think Amber consciously went into this with the hope of getting beat up, but it makes sense that it was a subconscious motivation, with as much self-hatred as we’ve seen she’s carrying around.
She just… Amber is so unbelievably messed up, y’all.
Seriously, poor kid needs HELP.
She may just want Sal to try so she can stop her and prove to herself that she’s grown from the helpless girl she was.
I’m thinking her “code” prevents her from attacking someone who doesn’t want to fight. She needs to be provoked for it to be legitimate.
What you said.
I agree that she has that code. But why “hurt me” rather than “hit me”?
Because she doesn’t understand Sal. She sees her as a comic book villain who would always grab at the chance to hurt the hero, so she hopes that by offering Sal that chance she can get Sal to attack her. Because that’s the kind of person she needs Sal to be.
See? Called it! Everyone said no, but called it last strip!
Not too late to break out the chill pills
–as boring a twist as that would be at this point
I think the “Goddammit, Malaya”s indicate that even Sal realizes that that ship has just sailed. Now there will be punchings.
*Sal grabs Malaya by the scruff of the neck*
Sal: “–THE FUCK YA DOING startin’ fights, stupid? CARLA, grab Hulk there”
Carla: “Yeah, right–see ya, suckers.”
Sal: “GODDAMMIThey, Hulk, can ya stop Hulking for a sec, ah ain’t fightin’ ya, where’s yer therapist at”
Amazi-Girl: *tears open shirt and everyone else’s*
Sal: “Dangit, ah jes’ wanted ta finish the Lightning Cup”
AG: *blinks* “Wait, what?”
Sal: “Easily coulda had 1:20 ‘fore the battery died, piece a shit”
AG: “How the hell are you doing that, show me”
I’m still rooting for them to become friends through Danny’s DS without either of them realizing who the other is.
Yeah, I was assuming she wanted to get Sal to start the physical fight so that she had a “legitimate” reason to, well, fight her.
If Sal hits her first, then Amber is just acting in self-defense when she beats Sal up. If she attacks Sal first, then Amber’s just a violent bully.
But Amber feels like she needs to stand up to Sal and hurt her so that Sal no longer holds that control over Amber.
It’s messed up logic, and even if Amber beat Sal within an inch of her life she would still have panic attacks when something triggers a memory of that trauma and will still feel out-of-control and helpless, but Amber’s obviously not thinking clearly or logically.
Sal has to be a violent harmful dangerous presence in the community. Right now the subject is pretty deeply tied to Amber’s general worldview, so Amber’s very invested in getting hurt by Sal.
Also also, I think I’m liking Carla better than UC.
I bet that Carla has better ‘software’ than UC does.
Because it was programmed by god!!!
Sorry. My inner Joyce just escaped.
…and the Devil has 1337 hacking skills.
Where do you think the “cool hacker” in Hollywood came from? It’s all the Devil’s work, I tells ya!
Yeah, but Jesus saves… to the server. Every night, before heading home.
I dunno. Is Carla eighteen? Estrogen therapy is not allowed for minors in the some states, even with parental consent. I don’t know if Indiana is among them, but I certainly believe so.
Carla’s a sophomore, so she’s probably at least eighteen, more likely nineteen. Also, Willis has said that all of the primary cast are legal adults because of the reasons, and though Carla wasn’t part of the cast yet at the time, I’m assuming the reasons apply equally to her.
Well this is just embarrassing all around.
AND ULTRAGIRL HAS CLEARED THE RING! I REPEAT, SHE HAS CLEARED THE RING!
But will Sal come back hard for vengeance? Find out this monday on Nitro!
C’mon…she’s just giving the girl what she wants.
And she returned the favour by giving her a buzz, witch she will have after she hits the ground head first.
Oh, SkHates, why must you instigate?
Oh Carla, the fweirdness will never end.
There’s a woman stunning in her viciousness and matchless in her stupidity.
There’s a reason I call her ‘SkHates’.
Stokin’ that fire.
Now it’s self-defense. Technically.
Technically Amazi-girl hit her first. I mean she was threatened…but she hit first…but…
After she kind of rushed her, but then again she was literally asking for it.
That’s how self-defense works. You hit somebody until they hit you back, and then you can say that it was preemptive self-defense.
Welcome to the legal system, where what you say ALWAYS makes sense to SOMEONE.
Does Amber have any actual martial arts/self-defence training? Brazilian Jujitsu, maybe? Or is she just in really good shape?
I think it’s a combination of Judo (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is less concerned with making someone go airborne than it is with dragging someone to the ground and getting a joint lock or choke from there) and Malaya’s love of re-enacting Jazz’s usual means of departure from the Banks residence.
Mostly the latter.
Amazi-Girl. Campus vigilante. Is always prepared.
Future Carla: “Hey, remember that girl? The one who pretended to be a superhero so she could get beaten up?”
Future Sal: “Oh, you mean Amazi-Girl. Ha ha ha! She was one for the books.”
Future Carla: “Whatever happened to her?”
Future Sal: “Uh, well, she pulled it on Malaya and Amazi-Girl sent Malaya flying across a parking lot.”
That’s pretty much what went through my head when I read it.
HURT ME MORE, SNAKE!!!
I love MGS1..I really do but that line…that line …WHY?
Goddammit Malaya. WHY. SAL WANTED TO AVOID THE FIGHT AND YOU SCREWED IT ALL UP. *Flips a table*
Now Malaya’s the table.
God…dammit.
Right on the money there, also is that David Mitchell in your grav?
Yes, yes it is. That evil vicar sketch was brilliant, even though I’m partial to the other vicar sketch that he did.
Yeah..about that, why do they keep replacing the nice Australian girls with very uptight folks?
If the shop sketch is anything to go by, I guess it’s to raise the standards of the clientele.
Does…does Adam Reed just do the same voice for all his characters? Also, why do they all inevitably require motion assistance?
Only Xander and Ray have that kind of bad luck. He also voiced Killface, Wendell, and most of the Xtacles. I say “most” because IMDB lists Krieger voice actor, Ray Gillette model and Alton Brown’s dungeon master Lucky Yates as another Xtacles voice actor.
Man….they were so close to salvaging the night by just leaving.
They still can. I think Sal will check on Malaya, but there’s no need to stick around and get violent on her behalf.
I doubt “God damnit Malaya” is going to be as big as ” Damnit Danny.”
Amber’s superpower… masochism?
Noone will want to hit her cuz that’s what she wants. And then she just kicks their ass.
Love the title. Pharell Willis?
This is like Renfield’s “Punish me!” rant from Dracula. Or the Mel brooks parody.
Um…Malaya? You have no one to blame but yourself for running into Amazi-Girl’s clothesline…and the Circle Throw she just did at you.
AMAZI-GIRL SMASH
AMAZI-GIRL STRONGEST THERE IS!
Sal, now’s your chance! She’s a screw-up and a waste of time! You’re already on your bike! Just leave her behind!
Oh goddammit Malaya…
… This is going to become a thing now, isn’t it?
Malaya being a punching bag? Don’t know.
Let’s hope so!
Tomorrow, when Malaya knocks over Sal’s bike and breaks it: “Goddammit Malaya!”
Next week, when Sal flunks her midterm because all five of them were in jail for public disturbance: “Goddammit Malaya!”
Next year, every time that Dan Dan’s it up again: “Goddammit Malaya!”
In a few months, when Shortpacked ends: “Goddammit Malaya!”
…. yes. Yes it is.
You know what funny I keep thinking of lion kings opening theme “circle of life” while imagining Malaya flying through the air as the sun rises in the background.
Oh wait wait:http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lXjI2kuNkhE
Ah, I just got Amber’s motivation here. It isn’t about getting back at Sal for traumatizing her at all, it’s about giving Sal a chance to get back at her for the stabbing. It all makes more sense now.
OMG thigh freckles. Malaya, you’re 100% adorable.
You have a really weird definition of “adorable”.
Everyone has a weird definition of adorable. For instance, I think Minya is adorable, as is a zergling.
What he said.
Sal: …this is why we can’t have nice things…
This is just DoA’s equivalent of the Joyce/Sal fight from IW where Joyce points out that she’s grown up and Sal hasn’t, right? Except with Sal playing Joyce?
Oh man I hope Carla catches her and they both end up rollin’ down a hill.
If it isn’t already, I hereby dub “rollin’ down a hill” to be a euphemism.
Rroll, rroll, rroll in ze hay!
What Sal said
Can the title for this arc’s book be “GODDAMMIT MALAYA”?
Goddamnit, Ross.
Goddammit, Nappa.
Hey Vegeta….are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
… what kind of an idiot picks a fight while they’re on skates? Okay, I’d get it if the opponent was also on skates, or something else which similarly robbed them of solid footing. Roller Derby girls aren’t stupid for checking other roller derby girls who are also on skates. But here? Dammit, Malaya.
Malaya seems to just like to have an excuse to check people, be it in a derby or in a parking lot. She doesn’t have the self-control to take the skates off before going after Amazi-Girl (though I imagine Amazi-Girl would happily wait for her to do so), and she sure as he’ll doesn’t have the self-control to walk/skate away and not give in to provocation.
You had one job, Malaya…ONE JOB!!!
Something tells me Sal understood why Amber was doing all this and was trying to avoid a fight for a reason.
Sal’s awesome like that.
I think the legit reason is that she doesn’t feel like curb-stomping this random crazy stranger.
Sal’s still way awesome, tho.
I think that Sal could tell something was wrong. She probably doesn’t know what Amber’s actual problem is, but she can probably tell that Amber is just misplacing her aggression.
Yeah that’s what I meant. Not the specific “why” but kind of an instinctual understanding that there’s something else going on here.
she doesn’t want to fight an obviously mentally ill person?
Maybe that too but mayhap she sees in Amber something of herself in the past and knows not to instigate it.
This is what I figured last night, Sal doesn’t need a ‘no reason, but because I want one fight” with anyone, she has a record already.
Sal is pretty street smart, she knows something is wrong with someone who charges 4 people, expecting “a fair fight”. Sal is a badass, but she just is not the kind of person to beat the Hell of somebody, with 3 helpers. She can do just fine all by herself.
And if she didn’t know, tonights “fight me, hurt me” should reinforce that Amazi-girl has a screw loose.
Good shot Mayla, figured you would do that too..nasty little creep.
Fight!!!!
i know it’s not the right time of year, but that last panel would make a wonderful backdrop for “i’m head over heels for you, valentine”…
Either the perspective in the last panel is wonky, Malaya weighs like 8 pounds or Amazi-girl actually has superpowers because Malaya looks like she’s like 8 feet above the ground.
Maybe A-Girl made Malaya fart.
Amber, you realize how that sounded don’t you?
Oh. Oooooooh.
Well, I feel stupid now.
Am I the only one actually concerned that Malaya’s about to suffer (at least) a concussion? Plowing head-first into concrete isn’t good for you. Even if it is Malaya, that kinda makes me cringe. Perhaps Carla can catch her.
Nah, she has plenty of airborne time to tuck and roll.
Malaya REALLY should be wearing a helmet.
I mean, ALL THE TIME. The way she pisses people off, she should ALWAYS wear one.
That’s true. I mean, she’s a tough cookie, but ouch.
Maybe all that time spent as a lightweight who loves violent sports has taught her how to fall properly when thrown.
There would be a certain, bitter irony if Amber went there trying to get hurt and instead cracked Malaya’s skull on the pavement.
If somebody gets hospitalized in this comic, it would last for YEARS of real time. I really wouldn’t worry about long term injuries.
Thank you, Malaya.
Malaya used Sucker Punch!
It’s not very effective… Justified raised Amber’s attack!
Amber used Storm Throw! A critical hit!
It’s super effective!
Malaya’s freckles look like tiny, shocked eyes in the last frame.
Are all four of them gonna get on that one bike? Between the various modes of transportation, that better parking lot must be pretty close.
Needs sidecars.
Malayaaaa.
Damn Amber, you crazy
I think Amber can take them
She does seem to have magical mad fighting skills and strength in this comic. Does she have a backstory that explains that from one of the other earlier comics? I’m thinking maybe exposure to that goo from TMNT or something.
Rage power. Nothing else needed.
She’s been doing this for a while.
So everyone’s just going to follow behind Sal on their roller skates & skateboards?
That’s the slowest moving girl gang ever.
Clearly the redhead transforms (complete with generation 1 sounds) into a ULTRA fast CAR for everyone to get around in.
What if they have some kind of rope that attaches to Sal’s bike? Like waterskiing, but on land.
They’ve even got enough people to form a little pyramid!
“What if they have some kind of rope that attaches to Sal’s bike”
Like Btt2 with the unpowered hoverboards!
OMG. Malaya’s cutie mark has a mind of its own!
Oh, crap. Damn it, Malaya, why?
Masochist: “Hurt me.”
Sadist: “No.”
Though to be fair to Sal, that’s also the response of most sane people. No point in picking a fight with a skunk. Even if you win, it doesn’t turn out that well.
Oh, fuck. @damnyouwillis, have you been stringing us along? First, there’s this exchange:
Sal: Ah never lost a fight.
Amber: N-not a fair one, you have’t.
I don’t know whether Sal has ever lost a fair fight, but she has lost a fight — to Amber, who attacked her with a knife, from behind, while she was unable to move.
Now, we’re seeing Amber ask to be hurt, twice. Not attacked, but hurt.
Willis, who’s she motivated by getting revenge on: Sal, or herself? Does Amber want Sal to get even with her for the stabbing in the convenience store parking lot?
The “not a fair one” is referring to the time when she stabbed her yeah.
I just saw what she’s saying as “Hurt me so I can be justified in attacking you”
Yeah, I just twigged on that myself.
I don’t think so — in that case, she’d have said, “C’mon. Take a swing, b*tch.” or something like that. She directly asks to be *hurt* — not “try to hit me” or even “try to hurt me,” but “hurt me.”
That’s what I thought it was before, but looking back at her expression on “Not a fair one”, I thought it was odd at the time, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. It was guilt. And if she feels guilty, the -only- way this scene makes -any- sense is if she’s trying to get Sal to kick her ass.
I just clued into this myself. She’s trying to get justice done -on herself-.
I’m pretty sure only Amber thinks of that as a fight. By the time they actually “engaged”, it was just assault. And a [failed] robbery isn’t really a fight in that sense, either.
Malaya is even less likeable here than she was in shortpacked. I can honestly say I prefer Danny.
I know there was a bit of an argument about her previous fall, but this situation here really does look like it’s getting into “Why you wear a helmet” territory.
Because if you go around being Malaya, you’re gonna get hit in the head?
Is Amazi-Girl secretly Crawler?
Amazi-Girl: “Fight Me! Hurt Me!”
*Spits Acid at Sals bike*
Grey Fox you say?
A Metal Gear Reference?!
!
Metal… Gear??
Well Malaya…play with the bull….
If anyone had been interested enough in my opinions to ask me which two developments I least looked forward to in this strip, I would have replied, the inevitable end of AmaziGirl’s unbeaten streak, and the arrival of two of the three most annoying and obnoxious characters David Willis has ever created. Having the first happen because of the second would be especially distasteful. Feel free to pour as much beatdown gravy as you like on Malaya, I say, though few of her giblets are likely to be detached with her mecha girlfriend standing by.
So, you’re aware that Carla is neither a robot nor Malaya’s girlfriend in this universe, right?
For that matter, she isn’t in the Walkyverse, either. That’s Ultra Car, who looks very similar but is not the same person.
Are we about to see Hulk Amber again?
See what happens when you give the hero what she wants
Twist: Carla’s pranking them, and that’s nonalcoholic beer
Someone should get a video of this in the parking lot, post it on Youtube, and then receive a huge amount of comments.
The title: “Amazi-Girl Bigot! Fights Asian, Black, Disabled, and Trans women to establish supremecy.”
Then Amazi-Girl can become a diversity positive legacy as she passes it on to Dinah in shame.
Amazi-girl, Amber doesn’t deserve you, but Malaya….Malaya is another story. You two were made for each other.
Can’t they just leave Malaya? Sounds like a plan to me.
God dammit Nappa!
Thank you. I’m glad somebody made the comparison.
So, sal knew who she was the whole time?
This is going quite nicely
While I think violence towards females is generally a bad idea (self-defence or defence of others being the exception) Malaya is really asking for it
…violence against anyone is generally a bad idea except for defense.
Yeah you’re right but as a guy violence against women seems worse then violence against men (of course it isn’t but still…)
“Hurry before it’s sunrise.”
Sal confirmed for vampire.