Aizat’s avatar is most appropriate. Also Ethan’s dad looks like a dude most likely to say ‘Yes dear…’ in a slightly scared apologetic tone. It’s an eyebrow thing.
…goddammit, I just finished watching Orange is the New Black today and now I’m forever going to associate Ethan’s dad with that drug-dealing, blackmailing dickweed.
There are uneducated people and there are stupid people. And then there’s people who are perfectly intelligent but their better judgement, and insist on holding backwards beliefs anyways.
Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Joyce’s mom due to the hatefulness of her ignorance, but both Danny and Ethan’s parents are objectively worse as parents.
I’m not sure I entirely agree. Both the Browns and the Siegals have a terrible world view, but I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Siegal doesn’t mean well, too. She’s ignorant about what homosexuality is i.e. thinks it just ‘happens’, thinks it’s a bad (possibly evil) thing, etc. I think the only saving grace for Mrs. Brown was “Oh I trust your judgment”, but she then followed it up with conditions for watching a TV show to not be a heinous act. I wouldn’t doubt that, if Mrs. Brown decided Dexter and Monkey Master wasn’t a pious show, she’d freak out on Joyce and probably blame Walky or Dorothy (especially Dorothy the Atheist) the same way Mrs. Siegal is doing to Amber.
That was a really long, over wordy way of saying I don’t think the Browns are totally out of the race yet.
But once you take the ignorance for granted, Mrs Siegal is still blaming Amber for Ethan being gay rather than herself.
The Browns are not out of the race simply because “and this is my gay Jewish boyfriend” is uncharted water.
“This seems like a bit much. Is there something you are trying to hide? Have you joined the Klan? What have we told you about not listening to Grandpa?”
Also, the commenters here seem very much overly-obsessed with discussing who are the most horrible people and why they are horrible people, in a very analytical, dissecting manner that I find personally disturbing and ironic considering most of the reasons why people here seem to find these characters horrible is because “they find certain types of other people horrible.”
Actually, it will be sad since Mrs Siegal will be reinforced in her belief that Amber is responsible for a gay “phase” of Ethan. And they may well ruin Ethan’s “chance to start fresh” when they trumpet it around.
When I made a list of local birds visiting our place in order to make a scenic description for an international conference, I was sort of appalled after looking up the rather common “Kohlmeise” (parus maior). That’s not funny, Brits. I was going to write something like “And of course, there will be plenty of [Kohlmeisen] around.” but had to refrain.
“Yeah, I’m tired of this conversation, so I printed off Ethan’s Internet history. Well, most of it. I ran out of ink somewhere around the 500th page of Batman pictures from Rule 34.”
I hope she doesn’t know about Joyce. I hope that Ethan isn’t stupid enough to have called his mom with a “Hey, Mom, I’m trying out being straight again, there’s a girl named Joyce who thinks she can fix me, so I’m cured of the cock!” conversation.
Of course, Ethan was stupid enough to dive head first into that relationship without a mote of consideration for Joyce’s feelings at first, so I guess I might be hoping for too much.
I kinda have to agree that’s literally gonna be the first thing said in the next panel “well Amber, if my sons gay, why is he dating Joyce” Ethan seems like a mamas boy anyways.
Billie’s parents are an obvious contender for not showing up. Joyce’s are annoying but don’t seem to actually be malevolent. I guess Walky’s don’t appreciate their daughter very much, but we haven’t seen the extent of that yet.
Of course it’s fun to create dicks. They can act as both hate sinks and wish fulfillment characters. The best fun to be had is when you throw all your dicks in one pit and watch them battle for the title of Dickmaster Extraordinaire.
Let’s start taking bets on which characters unfailingly win the contest!
We already know that Amber’s dad is a terrible person, but that wouldn’t be a big surprise to old readers. Dorothy and Sierra seem too confident and centered to be the product of horrible abuse. Jacob, Roz, and Mary are fair game. Nobody cares about Mary though. Who else have we not met? The Walkertons?
For that not to be the case would be downright escapist. People rarely end up with a BS perception of reality, without meth or something involved, unless their upbringing had at least something to do with it.
Somehow I think there’s a high chance that Sarah’s parents could teach Danny’s and Ethan’s a thing or two on how to turn your kid into a codependent wreck via guilt/shaming-manipulation and blaming the wrong sources for things that aren’t their problem despite any amount of crying, praying, heart-aching, or getting others to take your side (Can’t understand where I’m coming from? Lucky you.). A cookie says Raidah’s make everyone else’s look Norman Rockwell-esque by comparsion…
In the old universe, we knew next to nothing about Ethan’s parents, though if I recall correctly Willis mentioned that his folks were fine with him being gay and–like damn near everyone else in Shortpacked!–figured it out ages before he did.
There was that one weird line she had over the phone* where Ethan went “No, it’s NOT because you bought me He-Man as a kid” that makes me kind of wonder in light of this, but yeah, we could assume they were okay with it from the lack of drama.
* Well, I assume she had it, we don’t actually hear it.
Just because she accepts her son doesn’t mean that she’s not gonna have some strange ideas about how that sort of thing works, and be a little curious considering.
I think what Zach is saying is that some people are totally fine with people being LGBTQ, but not if their gender expression falls out of line with social expectations. So it’s fine if I’m queer, as long as I’m also not butch. It’s fine if Zach is gay,a s long as he isn’t at all feminine.
And, yes, it’s disturbingly common in straight AND queer communities.
No. Punch her in the gut and say really loud ‘You stay away rom me!’ She clearly deserves as much. Or harass them until they explicitly define the term ‘thought he was’ and the word ‘gay.’
Somehow I don’t think Amber’d be justified in punching her yet. First you tell them to stay away, THEN get a restraining order.
I’m a firm believer in not punching people until they try to punch (or otherwise physically harm) me. For one thing, it’s a lot easier to defend in court.
What are you saying? That all Jewish people that have appeared in this comic coincidentally slightly resemble each other? Is that what you’re saying? Is it? IS IT??
I couldn’t make out what Mrs. S said in that last panel. It looked like “Please, wherever you are Amazigirl. Please, please, PLEASE slap me upside my dumb bongo face. PLEEEEEEASE.”
It looked more like ‘I hate you and blame you for something you had nothing to do with, but I’m making myself a big target for karma to kick my ass, so I might as well make it the size of Alaska.” It is painted on her ego.
I dunno. I read it as “Everything I say from this point on will be increasingly condescending to the point that I will make an 18 year old girl feel like crying and feel justified in my actions because my brain is a rock.”
So, when are we going to be treated to the scene of every DoA father sitting around a cooler somewhere, exhaling a communal sigh of relief at finally being able to get a word in edgewise?
Joe’s Dad, “I haven’t seen someone with such mom banging skills since…me” They both look at each other, subtle nod of respect, and continue about their business.
I’m really not seeing a pattern of the moms talking over the dads, here.
The Browns – when they were first seen, he did most of the talking. Here she’s chatterboxing, but Joyce is addressing her more.
The Wilcoxen – about even, perhaps with a slight edge to him.
Mr Rosenthal – alone, no spouse to be in competition with.
Ms O’Malley – ditto.
The Saruyamas – …
The Warners – she has the edge, because she’s the one currently horrifying Walky, but Pop Warner’s not exactly keeping his yap shut.
The Keeners – slight edge to her, but he gets a plot-relevant line, and the sample size is so small as to be worthless for drawing conclusions from – as is also the case with the Warners.
The Walkertons – unless I skipped them by accident, we haven’t seen them, yet.
Only the Siegels have that going on, thus far.
Seems like a good time to link that one study that found that men perceive women as dominating both groups and discussions if they contribute to / exist as more than 20% of the conversation / room. :|a
That will just make it worse. This could lead to a lifetime of trying to make him straight by finding the right girl and he’s given them proof. He’s made his life harder by trying to make it simpler.
I’d find it funny as hell if we just saw Ethan’s dad copy-n-pasted from now on in that position, no matter the place or situation. It won’t happen, but I can dream.
Willis can we please have this be a thing? I love this idea so much. Him actually saying something or deviating from that pose and facial expression could be a major plot point or something.
Not even all branches of Orthodox Judaism require the keepa (because it’s easier to spell than yarmulke) all the time. You can’t tell just by looking at them.
Though, I’ve yet to encounter a reform Synagogue that wasn’t supportive of gay rights. Most of the Conservative Synagogues I’ve looked at also support gay rights. (Though, what a Synagogue supports and what a member supports are not necessarily the same.)
And there’s even openly gay Orthodox Rabbis.
There are two branches of Orthodox Rabbis Councils in America, and one is more close minded than the other.
Yeah, I was taking Orthodox as the extreme. They could be conservative, they could be re-constructionist, there are plenty of options. They might be Secular Jews, Humanistic, or Non-practising. They could be Orthodox Jews on Shabbath and other holidays and crypto-jews the rest of the time. (Though, I’d imagine his mom would straighten her hair in that case)
I’m willing to bet they aren’t Chabadniks.
I’m willing to bet that, if they’re practising Jews, that they attend whatever Synagogue is closest, because unless they live in Indianapolis, it doesn’t look like there are a lot of options.
My money is on Conservative. Despite the name, no political thing, its basically just the middle-of-the-road group more observant than Reform and less than Orthodox.
IE, more religious than Reform, so less likely to be accepting of homosexuality, but less religious than Orthodox, and so likely to not dress frum.
I don’t think that Conservative Jews are any more religious than Reform Jews, we’re just less willing to have guitar music and more likely to have atonal droning. (I hate acoustic guitar during services. It’s just horribly out of place.)
Second on the music. I knew I was in trouble while visiting my aunt’s church and discovering they had replaced the pipe organ with electric guitar and drums.
Probably Conservative Jews, which tend to travel the middle of the road, and who usually don’t dress differently than other Americans. Possibly Reconstructionist but Conservatives are more numerous.
Reform Jews tend to be progressive, and as a movement, have staunchly supported gay rights since it first came up for discussion.
I was gonna predict that these parents would object to Ethan dating a Christian, but they didn’t object to him dating Amber O’Malley so maybe they’re okay with interfaith marriage. Still, dating a probably-Christian is not the same as dating somebody who will actively try to convert their boychick away.
1) Dating in high school isn’t a huge deal. Most people don’t marry their high school sweet hearts. It’s when they talk about marriage that you start to worry about religions.
2) We don’t know how okay they were with Ethan dating Amber, we only know the aftermath.
There’s an old Jewish joke, in which a son brings home a series of young eligible women, and the parents find something wrong with each one. Rebecca’s too plain, Ruchel isn’t smart enough, whatever. Finally the son gets pissed off and brings home a nice Jewish boy, and the folks say “Hey, whatever happened to Rebecca…?”
One of the possibly worst parts of that spiel was that Mrs. S specifically said, ‘…so bad at dating my son he started THINKING he was a homosexual.’
Does Mrs S. still hope Ethan might be straight? Oh dear. We might be seeing a new Mrs. Brown from the Walkyverse and desperate for anyone to sex up her offspring, just now… kinda mean.
This, like the ‘you bastard!’ reactions to seeing Faye and her parents being happy, gives me a ‘I totally have different emotional reactions than most of the readers’ moment.
IME, ‘not showing up’ is not a worse crime than ‘showing up and having the intention of haranguing their child about his sexuality’.
It’s certainly possible that the Billingsleys are worse than the Siegels (or Mrs Siegel, at least…Mr S may well be a great guy), but not showing up is not enough evidence of that – in fact, if they are, as timemonkey says not showing up could well have been the best thing they could have done. (This is assuming they actually don’t show up.)
It’s no wonder why all these guys are so fucked up. It’s a good thing they didn’t go to a college close to their house so they would still live with their folks, or they would have gone insane.
List of main character families we’ll meet:
Ethan – horrible mother. Father is passive
Amber – horrible father. Mother is currently having sex after years of none.
Dina – … Them.
Danny – horrible AND Judgemental
Joe – Joe father. Absent mother.
Billie – absent father. Joe mother.
Ruth and Howard – dead parents, controlling militaristic grandfather.
Walky and Sal – Nan.
Joyce – fundamentalists, not actively malicious.
Dorothy – actually seem nice.
Amber’s mom stood her up on Freshmen Family Weekend to hook up with a stranger. Major deduction. Maybe not the worst, but geez Amber escapes abuse but still getting neglected.
Actually she wouldn’t.
The illogic goes thusly.
This girl was so bad she made my son question his sexuality.
This girl is so good she fixed that.
Bad logic.
Hoo.
Ray.
No wonder Ethan is looking for a beard. But he needs to sack up and deal with the matter head on. Amber seems to have a big brass pair that clanks when she walks to be able to stand up to this crazy lady.
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Pornstache!
Meh, still couldn’t compete with Master Asia’s stache.
Nobody has a better “Stache” than Master Asia!!!
ANSWER ME COMMENTS!
THE SCHOOL OF THE UNDEFEATED OF THE EAST!
THE WINDS OF THE KING!
ZENSHIN! KEIRETSU!
TEMPA KYORAN!!!
Aizat’s avatar is most appropriate. Also Ethan’s dad looks like a dude most likely to say ‘Yes dear…’ in a slightly scared apologetic tone. It’s an eyebrow thing.
Sounds AND looks EXACTLY like my dad… 😛
Freddie Mercury stache 😉
…goddammit, I just finished watching Orange is the New Black today and now I’m forever going to associate Ethan’s dad with that drug-dealing, blackmailing dickweed.
No, mAster Asia. From Gundam.
Wait, I can’t tell who’s responding to who.
Me neither
Hahaha?
I hadn’t noticed. Can’t get image out of my head now.
I hate you so much.
That is a thing that is horrible to say.
This is the place where people come to the place to learn about the place of education.
Well, there’s a line between uneducated and stupidity.
That is a sentence that is enlightening.
Unfortunately, some if not most people mistakes one for the other.
I do not approve of Ethan’s Mothers comments. And her hair is ugly. I don’t like to go there but she asked for it.
I am sure her hair smells terrible, as well. She is also only a brunette due to where her head is stuck.
There are uneducated people and there are stupid people. And then there’s people who are perfectly intelligent but their better judgement, and insist on holding backwards beliefs anyways.
So, that makes four types of people:
Educated, Uneducated, Stupid, and The Internet. Six if you count 4chan and 9gag as their own kind of stupid.
I agree with and endorse this neat and succinct summary of the categories of human knowledge and awareness.
Wow mean :C
I just said that because the comment reminded me of the Kraang from the new teenage mutant ninja turtles.
We, the Krang, must destroy those who are known as the Turtles.
The ones known as the turtles are in the place which is the place where we will be destroying them in that place.
I love the Krang so much in the new show.
The Krang hate “Happy Together” that much?
If you don’t like bubblegum pop, just turn off your radio.
That is a horrible person you mean. Seriously I think I hate her more than Joyce’s mom.
Yes. That was the point of what I said, but I was being playful and said it in the way Amber was talking.
Joyce’s mom is ignorant, sure, but she seems to mean well (even if her actions have the opposite result). Meanwhile, Mrs. Siegal is just plain nasty.
Mrs. Brown is much better than Mrs. Siegal.
As for who’s the worst, it’s between the Siegals and the Wilcoxes right now.
Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Joyce’s mom due to the hatefulness of her ignorance, but both Danny and Ethan’s parents are objectively worse as parents.
Joyce’s mom strikes me as more the fearful sort of ignorance rather than the hateful sort, though. She’s…actually a lot like Joyce, to be honest.
I’m not sure I entirely agree. Both the Browns and the Siegals have a terrible world view, but I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Siegal doesn’t mean well, too. She’s ignorant about what homosexuality is i.e. thinks it just ‘happens’, thinks it’s a bad (possibly evil) thing, etc. I think the only saving grace for Mrs. Brown was “Oh I trust your judgment”, but she then followed it up with conditions for watching a TV show to not be a heinous act. I wouldn’t doubt that, if Mrs. Brown decided Dexter and Monkey Master wasn’t a pious show, she’d freak out on Joyce and probably blame Walky or Dorothy (especially Dorothy the Atheist) the same way Mrs. Siegal is doing to Amber.
That was a really long, over wordy way of saying I don’t think the Browns are totally out of the race yet.
But once you take the ignorance for granted, Mrs Siegal is still blaming Amber for Ethan being gay rather than herself.
The Browns are not out of the race simply because “and this is my gay Jewish boyfriend” is uncharted water.
“This seems like a bit much. Is there something you are trying to hide? Have you joined the Klan? What have we told you about not listening to Grandpa?”
Also, the commenters here seem very much overly-obsessed with discussing who are the most horrible people and why they are horrible people, in a very analytical, dissecting manner that I find personally disturbing and ironic considering most of the reasons why people here seem to find these characters horrible is because “they find certain types of other people horrible.”
It’s a human thing. That sed there are objective reasons to find certain types of humans horrible. What those are is somewhat subjective.
She seems like a winner
I’m sorry. With your avatar, I couldn’t help but read it as wiener.
…which might be the case as well.
So Ethan’s Dad works for DOA Shortpacked!? Also love his design!
I was gonna say the exact same thing. The first thing.
Can’t wait for em to meet Joyce and her family…Gonna need some popcorn for the fireworks.
Forget the Joyce’s parents. Mrs. S vs. the Wilcoxes in a battle for the most disfunctional, abusive parent!
Actually, it will be sad since Mrs Siegal will be reinforced in her belief that Amber is responsible for a gay “phase” of Ethan. And they may well ruin Ethan’s “chance to start fresh” when they trumpet it around.
Oh dang, they’re even bigger assholes than I thought.
Oh, be fair, only Mrs. Siegel has said anything.
That ‘stache can’t be 100% straight :p
To quote Macho Man Randy Savage: “Your mustache is crooked”
Two words:
TOM SELLECK.
The ‘stache’s gender preference varies based on the decade it was born into.
Mrs. Siegel is asshole enough for two.
Right, blame her for Ethan being gay. I’m sure she’s the reason why Ethan swinging the other way.
*Sarcasm* Yes. Girls are definitely the reason for guys being homosexual.
Yeah, like this one guy actually came up with this crazy theory that it is true.
Quoth he, “I like boobs!”
As in idiots or as in the common usage of boobs?
Idiots. He thinks that idiots are tits.
That is just sad.
Yes it is, but at least he knows that tits can be an adjective.
Will you both marry me?
Well that depends.
I’m game, so long as its legal. It is legal, right? Right?!
When I made a list of local birds visiting our place in order to make a scenic description for an international conference, I was sort of appalled after looking up the rather common “Kohlmeise” (parus maior). That’s not funny, Brits. I was going to write something like “And of course, there will be plenty of [Kohlmeisen] around.” but had to refrain.
“Yeah, I’m tired of this conversation, so I printed off Ethan’s Internet history. Well, most of it. I ran out of ink somewhere around the 500th page of Batman pictures from Rule 34.”
Hey, there’s nothing gay about that
I fully agree. Most of those just prove various other fetishes.
If anything Amber should be the biggest indicator that your son has always been gay. If he’s willing to give up THAT, that dude’s gotta be.
Billie would be a bigger indicator, but agreed!
Both of them are a HUGE indicator. But then again, I’ll have just one.
That seems like a weight crack.
I thought it was a boob reference
Ding ding ding ding ding! Get this man/lady a prize.
Weight doesn’t really matters to me.
Danny turned down Billie and Amber, the later in favor of hers… Amazigirl. Does that make him double gay or just obviously gay?
But he turned both amber and Billie down in favor of Amber so…he’s not gay. Just faithful.
Ethan is dating a girl again. Thus in his mom’s eyes, Amber is responsible for the brief period where he ‘thought’ he was gay.
I doubt she knows about Joyce yet.
I hope she doesn’t know about Joyce. I hope that Ethan isn’t stupid enough to have called his mom with a “Hey, Mom, I’m trying out being straight again, there’s a girl named Joyce who thinks she can fix me, so I’m cured of the cock!” conversation.
Of course, Ethan was stupid enough to dive head first into that relationship without a mote of consideration for Joyce’s feelings at first, so I guess I might be hoping for too much.
I kinda have to agree that’s literally gonna be the first thing said in the next panel “well Amber, if my sons gay, why is he dating Joyce” Ethan seems like a mamas boy anyways.
To quote a flying mountain: “The PENIS is EVIL. The GUN is GOOD.”
And so we meet Ethans mom and dad.
His dad has a rockin mustache… It looks like a little black and grey caterpillar.
It totally is. He lost a bet with Joe’s dad on the way in.
It was a sex contest. Joe’s dad won before Ethan’s dad could even decline.
That’s why Amber couldn’t find her mom.
I’ve never heard the word decline used to describe something going flaccid before. I like it!
Good to know Ethan’s mom is as terrible as we were led to believe.
I like her hair though.
She kind of looks like my mom.
Mine too. And she looks like my small puppy.
If your small puppy was a huge jerk.
My small puppy barks at the door til I come over and then just walks away.
My cat is a huge jerk. But I repeat myself.
Well, cats are jerks. Adorable but jerks.
“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Only pigs look on us as equals.” –Winston Churchill
George Clooney agrees.
Ethan’s dad looks like Thomas Wayne to me.
I would say that explains a lot, but 90% of what it might explain is kinda disturbing in that light.
“Ethan, why do you always give your mother pearls and movie tickets for every mother’s day?”
He just wants to be Batman. Why must you crush his dreams?
This is awkward like the hotel room after prom.
I never been to a prom. Then again, where I’m from, prom is a very alien idea.
But Ethan and Amber have.
2010: The Year we make Contact. And it is kinda awkward. Like the hotel room after prom.
I did not read that as prom.
What did you read it as?
Guess. It would still apply to the situation in the original comment I would suppose.
Man. It’s like a “whose parents are the biggest dicks” contest around here.
the sad thing is these guys lose
You’re very cruel to your characters Willis.
That’s figurative dicks, not literal ones, right?
Obvously, I mean look at how tall Joe’s dad is, he’s obviously going to win at that.
Judging from that mustache, it’s hard to tell.
If by biggest you mean best, I’m sure Joe’s dad would win.
Well, sometimes bigger is better but sometimes it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it.
Either way, this is JOE’S dad we’re talking about. He still wins.
Plus his name is Richard, so in a contest of Dicks he’s already ahead.
Hear hear, hear hear.
…That is sad.
Yeah. Billie’s parents are still worse than them.
Can they even win without actually competing by not coming?
It’s not coming which makes them dicks.
Unless we meet them, their hatefulness is basically only implied.
We can only count the horribleness that we know.
We know they’re not coming. To see Billie. Long-distance dick-ness.
Pretty sure they’re in the running though.
Place ya’ bets!
Billie’s parents are an obvious contender for not showing up. Joyce’s are annoying but don’t seem to actually be malevolent. I guess Walky’s don’t appreciate their daughter very much, but we haven’t seen the extent of that yet.
Well, if Walky and Sal’s mom is anything like she is in the original Walkyverse…
Danny’s turned him into Danny.
No crime worse than making Danny.
Are they…runners-up? Please? 🙁
Well, Amazi-Girl was in Track and Field, and Dorothy was in cross-country, I think, so they are going to have a lot of competition.
A distant second, perhaps.
Oh no, the first will be heartbreaking. (Most likely.)
I know it flies in the face of all logic, this being a Freshman Family Weekend, but I can’t help but feel like Dargon’s gonna show up.
Willis, is it fun to create dicks?
Willis doesn’t draw a lot of porn, but I’ve seen more dicks in his comics than on any porn website.
Well, he’s drawn literal dicks, but I meant *creating. Like designing characters that are ‘dicks’.
You almost make me believe in freudian slips.
Why wouldn’t you believe in Freudian tits? I mean Tips. No wait! I meant slips! Slips!
Yeah I know. I was being clever.
You haven’t looked at many porn sites, is the lesson I’m taking away.
Do not forget ARG from I AM ARG ….. 😉
Once you have experienced ARG, I don’t think it is possibl to forget him.
Of course it’s fun to create dicks. They can act as both hate sinks and wish fulfillment characters. The best fun to be had is when you throw all your dicks in one pit and watch them battle for the title of Dickmaster Extraordinaire.
Oh shit.
Please tell me Roz’s parents are the worst, because I don’t want it to be the Walkertons.
I thought Roz’s parents were dead and she’d been raised thusfar by Robin? Might just be head-canon/AU though
It could be Roz’s parents are -alive- and she’d been raised thusfar by Robin.
Oh, that’d be even worse.
Let’s start taking bets on which characters unfailingly win the contest!
We already know that Amber’s dad is a terrible person, but that wouldn’t be a big surprise to old readers. Dorothy and Sierra seem too confident and centered to be the product of horrible abuse. Jacob, Roz, and Mary are fair game. Nobody cares about Mary though. Who else have we not met? The Walkertons?
I think it’s gonna be the Walkertons, somehow. Either way it’s gonna be awful. I’ma go practice my DAMN YOU WILLIS.
That would explain why Sal is kind of a mess and Walky is kind of a douche.
For that not to be the case would be downright escapist. People rarely end up with a BS perception of reality, without meth or something involved, unless their upbringing had at least something to do with it.
Somehow I think there’s a high chance that Sarah’s parents could teach Danny’s and Ethan’s a thing or two on how to turn your kid into a codependent wreck via guilt/shaming-manipulation and blaming the wrong sources for things that aren’t their problem despite any amount of crying, praying, heart-aching, or getting others to take your side (Can’t understand where I’m coming from? Lucky you.). A cookie says Raidah’s make everyone else’s look Norman Rockwell-esque by comparsion…
Richard is compelling me to say
“Well we know who has the biggest dick around here.”
And I don’t know how he expected me to illustrate it, so…
*levitates eyebrows*
I guess
*eyebrow* (singular).
That’s basically what every family weekend at college is
Now I think Ethan has a duty to be gay just to piss off his mother.
Now I can really understand why he would have decided to go back in the closet.
He answers the call of duty when every night.
Well, that would be a step in the right direction, but I can’t help but feel we’re giving Ethan too much credit at this time…
Is the title of this storyline a reference to “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” or what?
… Well. Before I was just curious about them in the old universe.
Now I actively hate them.
Nice.
In the old universe, we knew next to nothing about Ethan’s parents, though if I recall correctly Willis mentioned that his folks were fine with him being gay and–like damn near everyone else in Shortpacked!–figured it out ages before he did.
There was that one weird line she had over the phone* where Ethan went “No, it’s NOT because you bought me He-Man as a kid” that makes me kind of wonder in light of this, but yeah, we could assume they were okay with it from the lack of drama.
* Well, I assume she had it, we don’t actually hear it.
And she gave him the Transformer toys to get him off of Sesame Stree.
Just because she accepts her son doesn’t mean that she’s not gonna have some strange ideas about how that sort of thing works, and be a little curious considering.
If I deviate from gender norms it’s “OK” for me to be “that kind of gay. I guess. Promise!” When will gender die?
It isn’t a question of gender. See, even pro-gay people can get it wrong.
I think what Zach is saying is that some people are totally fine with people being LGBTQ, but not if their gender expression falls out of line with social expectations. So it’s fine if I’m queer, as long as I’m also not butch. It’s fine if Zach is gay,a s long as he isn’t at all feminine.
And, yes, it’s disturbingly common in straight AND queer communities.
Yeah, hence why I was just curious.
In fairness, we have seen nothing of note from his Dad so far.
I forgot Ethan even had parents. He must have. He had to have that He-Man conversation with someone.
What about He-Man?
He once said on the phone that the reason he was gay WASN’T because his mom bought him he-man toys.
I always figured he was found in a box outside a Toys R Us, and raised by Teddy Ruxpin.
Ethan is the manifistation of Toy collectors.
Punch her! Right in the gut. You know you’d get away with it.
They need an Amazi-Girl encounter later on.
VIGILANTE JUSTICE
Hard to joke about that these days.
No. Punch her in the gut and say really loud ‘You stay away rom me!’ She clearly deserves as much. Or harass them until they explicitly define the term ‘thought he was’ and the word ‘gay.’
They are committing crimes against grammar.
Somehow I don’t think Amber’d be justified in punching her yet. First you tell them to stay away, THEN get a restraining order.
I’m a firm believer in not punching people until they try to punch (or otherwise physically harm) me. For one thing, it’s a lot easier to defend in court.
Ethan’s dad kinda looks like Joe.
HE’S EVERYWHERE!
Dr. Rosenthal is Saul Siegal’s secret identity. He’s appearing in the next Amazigirl movie.
What if… THEY’RE SIBLINGS!
Joe’s dad is also Ethan’s Dad’s Dad.
Joe’s dad is everyone’s dad. Even yours.
What are you saying? That all Jewish people that have appeared in this comic coincidentally slightly resemble each other? Is that what you’re saying? Is it? IS IT??
I actually forgot they were both jewish wow
So that’s what Ethan’s parents look like. Seems like he really takes after his father.
the dad doesn’t seem upset.
That’s cuz he’s awesome and has an awesome mustache and has the most awesomest name: Saul.
Saul Siegal, Private Eye.
Hehehehe…you know what they call detectives back then?
He seems more bewildered than anything else.
Well, at least this means we’ll be getting some daring Amazi-Girl heroics in the near furture.
But seriously, that’s horrible. I’m hoping Mr. Siegal’s puzzled expression is indicative of disagreement with the missus.
I’m guessing Ethan picked up his passivity from one of his parents. No points go to the person who guesses correctly.
I couldn’t make out what Mrs. S said in that last panel. It looked like “Please, wherever you are Amazigirl. Please, please, PLEASE slap me upside my dumb bongo face. PLEEEEEEASE.”
It looked more like ‘I hate you and blame you for something you had nothing to do with, but I’m making myself a big target for karma to kick my ass, so I might as well make it the size of Alaska.” It is painted on her ego.
I dunno. I read it as “Everything I say from this point on will be increasingly condescending to the point that I will make an 18 year old girl feel like crying and feel justified in my actions because my brain is a rock.”
I think you’re all right.
nah I still think I have the accurate translation. Also, she sounds like this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVpg0vws10Y
Get Amazi-Girl to introduce her boyfriend to them, Amber. They totally deserve to spend time with Danny.
They deserve Danny’s parents.
Give them the whole family!
All the Wilcoxen!
So, when are we going to be treated to the scene of every DoA father sitting around a cooler somewhere, exhaling a communal sigh of relief at finally being able to get a word in edgewise?
Except Joe’s dad, who will be wherever the moms congregate. Along with Mike.
Joe’s Dad, “I haven’t seen someone with such mom banging skills since…me” They both look at each other, subtle nod of respect, and continue about their business.
*Brofist*
Mike’s version of brofist hits the solar plexus
^This.
I’m really not seeing a pattern of the moms talking over the dads, here.
The Browns – when they were first seen, he did most of the talking. Here she’s chatterboxing, but Joyce is addressing her more.
The Wilcoxen – about even, perhaps with a slight edge to him.
Mr Rosenthal – alone, no spouse to be in competition with.
Ms O’Malley – ditto.
The Saruyamas – …
The Warners – she has the edge, because she’s the one currently horrifying Walky, but Pop Warner’s not exactly keeping his yap shut.
The Keeners – slight edge to her, but he gets a plot-relevant line, and the sample size is so small as to be worthless for drawing conclusions from – as is also the case with the Warners.
The Walkertons – unless I skipped them by accident, we haven’t seen them, yet.
Only the Siegels have that going on, thus far.
Seems like a good time to link that one study that found that men perceive women as dominating both groups and discussions if they contribute to / exist as more than 20% of the conversation / room. :|a
“Mrs. Siegal, I didn’t turn him gay. It was your horrifying Richard Simmons-esque perm that did that.”
Also this will go badly when Ethan’s relationship with Joyce comes up.
They may like Joyce, actually.
That will just make it worse. This could lead to a lifetime of trying to make him straight by finding the right girl and he’s given them proof. He’s made his life harder by trying to make it simpler.
I completely agree. Never give your enemies an opening.!
That’s silly, no one likes Joyce.
How bad are we talking here?
Smugface bad.
Kernenator’s avatar bad.
That is one hell of a Jewfro.
It’s almost crosses the line from Jewfro to straight-up Afro.
Now I’m upset.
…Wow, especially since I *voted* for them in the poll.
I wish I could retract it. Jesus.
I wish you could too, Vsophi…
I’d find it funny as hell if we just saw Ethan’s dad copy-n-pasted from now on in that position, no matter the place or situation. It won’t happen, but I can dream.
Willis can we please have this be a thing? I love this idea so much. Him actually saying something or deviating from that pose and facial expression could be a major plot point or something.
It’s moths too late to ask. Remember the buffer.
Damnit you’re right.
Moths too late? The buffer is made of wool?
What about butterflies?
… I was going to give you thumbs up, then I noticed that ‘bufferflies’ was a misreading. v_v
Ah, well, here’s a thumbs up, anyway. ^.^b
Wait, is it just me, or is Ethan’s dad a wax statue?
Or Ethan’s dad is on emergency “oh shit, my wife is pissed off” auto-pilot.
That’s actually a standee. He’s at the bar with his friends “CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE FELL FOR THAT!?”
That’s actually just a standee. His dad’s actually at the bar with his friends, “I can’t believe she fell for that!!!”
Spousal anger detected. Husband Standby mode activated. All processes frozen.
reroute all power to moustache.
Rerouting all power to moustache.
Aw, Jewish mothers. They create reality, and don’t you dare claim anything they know isn’t true!!!!!!!!
Wait, what branch of Judaism is Ethan’s family? (as in Conservative, Reform, etc.)
Given the lack of skullcap, I’d say Reform.
Not even all branches of Orthodox Judaism require the keepa (because it’s easier to spell than yarmulke) all the time. You can’t tell just by looking at them.
Though, I’ve yet to encounter a reform Synagogue that wasn’t supportive of gay rights. Most of the Conservative Synagogues I’ve looked at also support gay rights. (Though, what a Synagogue supports and what a member supports are not necessarily the same.)
And there’s even openly gay Orthodox Rabbis.
There are two branches of Orthodox Rabbis Councils in America, and one is more close minded than the other.
That may be, but I know of no Orthodox woman who wears pants.
Yeah, I was taking Orthodox as the extreme. They could be conservative, they could be re-constructionist, there are plenty of options. They might be Secular Jews, Humanistic, or Non-practising. They could be Orthodox Jews on Shabbath and other holidays and crypto-jews the rest of the time. (Though, I’d imagine his mom would straighten her hair in that case)
I’m willing to bet they aren’t Chabadniks.
I’m willing to bet that, if they’re practising Jews, that they attend whatever Synagogue is closest, because unless they live in Indianapolis, it doesn’t look like there are a lot of options.
Well, then you haven’t met me. (Not all Orthodox are Haredi. See Modern Orthodoxy, for one.)
But….you only mention the keepa once, and then you go ahead and spell yarmulke anyway.
You just ruined the joke. You know, by explaining it.
Not only that, but I misspelled kippah.
My money is on Conservative. Despite the name, no political thing, its basically just the middle-of-the-road group more observant than Reform and less than Orthodox.
IE, more religious than Reform, so less likely to be accepting of homosexuality, but less religious than Orthodox, and so likely to not dress frum.
I don’t think that Conservative Jews are any more religious than Reform Jews, we’re just less willing to have guitar music and more likely to have atonal droning. (I hate acoustic guitar during services. It’s just horribly out of place.)
Second on the music. I knew I was in trouble while visiting my aunt’s church and discovering they had replaced the pipe organ with electric guitar and drums.
Why would anyone get rid of a pipe organ? Those things are badass!
Given that about half of my friends at college are classical musicians (and briefly dated an organist) , I am inclined to agree with you.
Half your friends at college briefly dated an organist? Concurrently or consecutively?
Probably Conservative Jews, which tend to travel the middle of the road, and who usually don’t dress differently than other Americans. Possibly Reconstructionist but Conservatives are more numerous.
Reform Jews tend to be progressive, and as a movement, have staunchly supported gay rights since it first came up for discussion.
I was gonna predict that these parents would object to Ethan dating a Christian, but they didn’t object to him dating Amber O’Malley so maybe they’re okay with interfaith marriage. Still, dating a probably-Christian is not the same as dating somebody who will actively try to convert their boychick away.
Well, two things:
1) Dating in high school isn’t a huge deal. Most people don’t marry their high school sweet hearts. It’s when they talk about marriage that you start to worry about religions.
2) We don’t know how okay they were with Ethan dating Amber, we only know the aftermath.
Edit: Okay, if she asked Amber to call her Naomi, she was probably okay with it.
Even if they aren’t okay with interfaith marriage, they would probably allow it if (in their eyes, anyway) it would keep their son from being gay.
There’s an old Jewish joke, in which a son brings home a series of young eligible women, and the parents find something wrong with each one. Rebecca’s too plain, Ruchel isn’t smart enough, whatever. Finally the son gets pissed off and brings home a nice Jewish boy, and the folks say “Hey, whatever happened to Rebecca…?”
Honestly, they don’t have to fit into a box, guys.
Well, not unless they are dead, anyway.
Well, they do if they want to find a synagogue that they don’t resent with every fiber of their being more than is usual.
One of the possibly worst parts of that spiel was that Mrs. S specifically said, ‘…so bad at dating my son he started THINKING he was a homosexual.’
Does Mrs S. still hope Ethan might be straight? Oh dear. We might be seeing a new Mrs. Brown from the Walkyverse and desperate for anyone to sex up her offspring, just now… kinda mean.
Ethan might have his Dad’s body shape, but really has his mom’s eyes.
Also, that ‘stache reminds me of Ethan’s ‘stache in that alt universe strip you did in Shortpacked! that one time.
Saul’s mustache makes him look like Anthony. Ick.
So… Mrs. Siegal is basically Therese?
Or Liz. Could be Liz.
A really nice lady she seems
How will she react to Joyce; will she see this as a good thing or a bad thing?
I get the feeling these are the even more terrible parents you were telling Mr Jaques about. That, or we’re in for some doozies in the future.
And yet again, if I had just read the comments, I’d have my answer. Sorry, Willis =/
Is it just the perspective shift, or is Ethan’s dad sloooowly backing out of the last frame?
To relative positions of his pit and Naomi’s shoulder haven’t changed, so it’s just a tighter panel.
It’s sad that these aren’t even the worst parents here. I’m looking at you Billies parents.
Yeah, at least they showed up.
Sometimes the best gift a parent can give is their absence.
This, like the ‘you bastard!’ reactions to seeing Faye and her parents being happy, gives me a ‘I totally have different emotional reactions than most of the readers’ moment.
IME, ‘not showing up’ is not a worse crime than ‘showing up and having the intention of haranguing their child about his sexuality’.
It’s certainly possible that the Billingsleys are worse than the Siegels (or Mrs Siegel, at least…Mr S may well be a great guy), but not showing up is not enough evidence of that – in fact, if they are, as timemonkey says not showing up could well have been the best thing they could have done. (This is assuming they actually don’t show up.)
Agreed.
Maybe we’ll get to meet Amber’s Dad. D:
I hope Sierra’s parents are a lot nicer.
And bare footed to boot.
There’s no way I won’t like Sierra’s parents. Even if they’re Horrible people they made Sierra. They can’t be all bad.
Well, as they say, how the child turned out is based on how the parents act.
But there are exceptions to that statement.
Like Dina’s parents and hats, each of Sierra’s will have unique, but unusual foot wear.
Wow…just wow.
It’s no wonder why all these guys are so fucked up. It’s a good thing they didn’t go to a college close to their house so they would still live with their folks, or they would have gone insane.
Good news, Mrs. Siegal! Your son doesn’t say he’s homosexual anymore — he’s dating a fundamentalist Christian girl!
And she’s totally on board with trying to convert him to act against his natural urges, including the urge to be Jewish anymore! Hooray!
List of main character families we’ll meet:
Ethan – horrible mother. Father is passive
Amber – horrible father. Mother is currently having sex after years of none.
Dina – … Them.
Danny – horrible AND Judgemental
Joe – Joe father. Absent mother.
Billie – absent father. Joe mother.
Ruth and Howard – dead parents, controlling militaristic grandfather.
Walky and Sal – Nan.
Joyce – fundamentalists, not actively malicious.
Dorothy – actually seem nice.
So, I wonder who has it worst?
Walky and Sal are the product of Indian flat bread?
Indian flatbread and caramel. How else do you explain Walky’s abs?
Amber’s mom stood her up on Freshmen Family Weekend to hook up with a stranger. Major deduction. Maybe not the worst, but geez Amber escapes abuse but still getting neglected.
Also, Mike’s parents are best parents.
Having met the old universe Walkertons… Their dad was nice there. That may very well have changed.
Did Saul Siegal lose his other eyebrow in some sort of tragic accident?
What a bongo.
Can Ethan’s dad PLEASE be Freddie Mercury in the witness protection program?
I support this idea.
I’m picturing Ethan’s dad as the dad from Twilight now.
Of course! Why would you need to tolerate or even accept that you have a gay son when you can blame the ex for being a terrible girlfriend instead?
I love prejudice logic. It makes everything so simple.
I hope they can get this sorted out before Joyce shows up or Naomi will be very confused. 😡
Actually she wouldn’t.
The illogic goes thusly.
This girl was so bad she made my son question his sexuality.
This girl is so good she fixed that.
Bad logic.
Hoo.
Ray.
Being confused, in the sense of not actually understanding what’s going on, is a totally different thing from recognizing that you’re confused.
Little did Dr. Rosenthal know, the O’Malley girls had a natural affinity for turning jews gay.
Then he’ll find some guy to Joe. He’ll Joe him in the butt.
He could be Ethan’s sugar daddy.
Is there a Yiddish term for that? It sounds like there should be a Yiddish term for that.
“צוקער פאטער”.
Now those are are eyes that stare into your soul. o_O
Huh. Kinda regrettin’ voting to meet Ethan’s parents now…
It is my most fervent hope that Mr Siegel has only the one facial expression in his every appearance.
Damn, Ethan and I are both gay with Jewish mothers named Naomi?
Willis, are you writing this comic about me?
If so, you made (or will make) TERRIBLE dating decisions in early college.
Willis writes the comic about everyone. He knows all.
Ignore the camera’s and keep doing interesting things.
Feels like Amber’s going to get a pretty rough time of this.
College Amber is so cute. I’m trying to focus on the positive here, Ethan’s Parents.
Ohhhh dear.
I don’t think Mr S wants to be in this conversation either!
Dat. Stache.
No wonder Ethan is looking for a beard. But he needs to sack up and deal with the matter head on. Amber seems to have a big brass pair that clanks when she walks to be able to stand up to this crazy lady.
Saul has only one eyebrow!!
Ethans’s Dad: “Stay absolutely still, her vision’s based on movement.”
.
.
.
That’s right, I did the same joke again.
Poor Ethan. …Poor Amber. I’ve been on that side of the conversation. They thought I turned their baby gay. 😐
You sang show tunes while there was an infant in the room? You unspeakable monster!
I still don’t understand how anyone would believe some guy was turned gay by a girl (that he was dating, even).
My friends named their twins, who are now adorable toddlers, Saul and Naomi. 🙂
…That is a stunning coincidence.
Wow that is the most bichiest thing I have ever herd someone say too another person
Sal looks sad. Anyone want to ship her with Mike?