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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov ⋅ 16h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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He’s come to tell her he’s a vampire.
and that he has been watching her while she sleeps…
He feels…protective of her.
“What was our math homework?”
“Pages 14 through 25. Due tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I totally forgot.”
“Okay. Goodbye.”
Is that actually what happened in the book?
No it isn’t. That’s fairly well written and funny. None of that is in those books.
Seeing as how we find out what Bella’s mother looks like before we find out what Bella looks like and her mother’s described as
looking “just like me except longer hair” when we don’t even know what Bella looks like to begin with… I gotta say I don’t trust your account of events.
It should have…
She’s so cute when she sleeps. Occasionally she recites bible verses.
actually, that might be cannon…
And now I have to imagine Joyce as a bible verse-shooting cannon.
She’s a Transformer?
Maybe?
Well, I guess that would be another reason for Ethan to hide his homosexuality in order to date her.
Vampires don’t tell their victims they’re vampires. They just take their victims away to their castle.
Is this a Castlevania reference?
Yes.
Don’t you mean “batman”?
That’s what should have happened.
But I thought he was a Greaser
Ethan is The Rake. O_O
Or worse, Jeff.
That goofy-looking cartoony-faced dude who looks like he was in a freak Photoshop accident? Are people actually able to take that guy seriously enough to be afraid of him?
I think Joe is already the resident Rake.
I think Joe is already the resident Rake. Obviously Ethan is the Dandy.
the only rake Ethan is, is the kind that piles up leaves.
Or in his case, dudes.
you guys are talking about rakes, and all I’m thinking of is the Shortpacked Batman comic where he keeps stepping on rakes.
heh heh heh….
Dreaming.
My thoughts exactly. I think Joyce is going to have a sexy dream.
I am here to warn you that three ghosts will tell you the error of your waaaaaaays.
Uh, Ebenezer’s is on the other wing.
Ghost of gayness pass: Harvey Milk.
Ghost of gayness future: Jack Harkness
“It’s a-me!”
“Mario!”
“Uncle Mario?”
“Thank you for saving me, but your prince is in another castle!”
“Do you have any pie instead?”
Or how about some
sex“cake”I’m putting money on:
-It’s a dream
-It’s Mike in a wig
I thought it was Faz at first…despite him not showing up in DoA yet (I think?)
Guys, Ethan is tagged. The tags don’t lie.
But sometimes they… omit the truth
it’s still Faz, in spirit.
I’ll place a bet on the former.
It’s going to be a nightmare. I can see it coming.
Sex dream.
So…same thing as far as Joyce is concerned.
Well, next page is indicating this.
However, I was more going with “Raped because of the subliminal fears she gained after the party.”
So how soon until Sarah wakes up and cracks his kneecaps with a baseball bat?
I’m just imagining Ethan having to crawl out, knee cap less.
Sarah would wake up, look at Ethan, go “Bout damn time,” roll over and go back to sleep.
Or request time to fetch some popcorn, since this oughta be memorable.
“Marshall, it’s physics. If the top bunk moves, the bottom bunk moves too.”
I’m sure he always wears knee-pads.
You don’t take out your kneecaps when they crack?
Weird. ‘-‘
Cue the porno music.
Haaall-e-lui-Ah! Haaall-e-lui-Ah! Halleluiah! Halleluiah! Hall-e-lui-ah!
(gimme a beat!)
Hal-chick-bow-Haw e-lu-ya Hal-chick-bow-Haw e-lu-ya…
i would watch the fuck out of a porno with that music.
YES!
Didn’t they use “Hallelujah” in Watchmen?
Nah, that was Len Cohen’s. This is from Handel’s Messiah.
Joyce could probably tell you all about it.
“Joyce, this is my room. Yours is in the other wing.”
+1 Like
Ahaha, excellent.
We never did see the two part ways.
Lying about not being gay, being super creepy and breaking into girls’ rooms… Yeah, Ethan is totally on a roll with the good decisions.
Sorry but Mike told me the only way out of this relationship is to kill you.
More like Mike told me the only way out of this relationship is to sleep with your mom. For a nickel.
no, the best way out of this relationship is to trick the other guy with feelings for her to sleep with her mom and give her an audio recording of the “deed”
Unless you edit and splice the moans and the bangs until the form a sound rather similar to the phrase, “Will you marry me?” I hear that gets ALL the ladies.
Okay, well now that’s three for three for this being some sort of Twilight reference.
This is. . . . this won’t end well. It’s about time we see the true extent of her trauma.
your creepy halloween strip was five days late, jesus christ
You rang?
jesus is sal, who knew
Jesus is Amazi-Girl?
But Amazi-Girl is Galasso!
Therefore Sal is Galasso!
Does Galasso weights as much as a duck?
Depends, is he wearing the chef hat?
Galasso turned me into a newt!
…
I’m better now.
You “got better”, I guess?
No no, that’s not Jesus. That’s Jesus, Christian Martial Artist!
I thought it was Jesus the bowling ball player.
So *that’s* what the CMA awards are for…
But, if Sal is Jesus…then that would make Mrs. Walkerton God!
Also, no wonder Joyce admires Sal so much.
Everyone is Jesus in Purgatory.
We can’t see his face. How do we know he’s not an IMPOSTER???
His eyes are in fact where his mouth should be, and vice-versa.
“I have a terrible confession, that I know will disappoint you and make it impossible for us to continue our relationship. I’m really…Amazi-Girl.”
Then, a zebra in a trench coat with the voice of Macho Man Randy Savage bursts through the walls and yells “OH YEAH!!!”.
Oh my gosh! You’re not gonna believe this but I’m secretly….DANNY!
And suddenly Ethan finds himself the one who wants what he can’t have, and Danny is just playing along.
Theory: Ethan is Basement Cat.
And since I theorized Joyce is Ceiling Cat, does that mean they’ll fight soon?
YES, all we need now is Long Cat to appear to referee.
Sorry, longcat couldn’t fit in the elevator. Instead we have keyboard cat.
Don’t tell me: even her subconscious knows he’s gay?
There are only two ways this can end.
Neither of them is pretty. And I’m pretty sure both of them include the bat.
Ethan’s Batman? Not since my discovery of Super Robot Wars had my mind had been blown.
What, you didn’t know Ethan can breathe in space?
Boiyoiyoing.
That is one weird alarm clock Joyce has.
This cannot end well. Or it could end fine. I honestly don’t know, just guessing here.
I don’t believe it, wouldn’t be Ethan unless he’s sleepwalking. Whoever that is, he’s in major trouble, you can just feel it coming from Sarah’s room.
Wonder how he got in there?
I’m Batma-Ethan.
It’s DDP?
Self high five?
FINALLY! Someone who got the reference.
Thats not a bad thing, Thats a good thing!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality…
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…
I’m just a gay boy, I need no sympathy…
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go
Little high little low
Any way the winds blow doesn’t really matter to me, to me
Ice is back with my brand new invention!
ADHadh karaoke fail! :((
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy…
“I’m drunk enough to imagine you’re Mike. Let’s do this thing.”
So what’s gonna happen. Will he admit he’s gay, to her horror? Will he admit he’s gay, to her embarrassment? Will he admit he’s gay, to her arousal?
I have no idea why, but I want Joyce to bang someone this time around. Just go totes bananaboats for scrotes.
Well she did bang someone before. Just took her all the way up until the night before the Martian invasion…
Ethan knows Joyce likes Twilight!
Joyce likes Twilight? Somehow I doubt it.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/twilight/
Oh right, that………I kinda forgot about that,
The ability to suppress information is a wonderful tool of the human mind
I used to have a dream like this. Only instead of Ethan, it’s a hot, psychotic, axe-wielding lady.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeres JENNY!
Nah, she just wakey wakey in a menacing tone.
Wait, Dave. Is… is this a Joyce sex dream?
Hahaha, buckle up!
A sex dream for Joyce is holding hands and occaisonally making eye contact and giggling.
Holding hands? Eye contact? How scandalous!
And maybe she will show . . . some ankle! Oh gasp!
Somehow, that doesn’t look like Ethan. The hair just doesn’t seem right…
Mike in an Ethan wig?
I’m expecting this is Pintsize with Ethan’s face taped on.
it’s harder than it looks
So is Joe.
And there it is.
either there’s about to be a long awkward talk about coming out of the closet, or going in deeper using religion
or it’s time for someone to take joyce to the bone zone
If Ethan goes much deeper he’ll be come a gay within a gay. Gayception.
actually i believe that a gay within a gay is just called sex
*badum tsss*
“Are you there,
GodJoyce? It’s me, Ethan.”Ethan’s going to pray the gay away. With his penis.
for a nickel.
with your mothers
FAAAAACCCEEE
Hahaaaaa, Mikes! Mikes everywhere!
Why are her eyes glowing?
That freaked me out a little too, it’s she’s got natural nightvision. Oh wait, don’t we all? XD
She’s overdoing the Spice?
Dude… Ethan Siegal… Closet Person
Spice makes your eyes go blue not green.
I’d say Joyce’s eyes are more of a cyan color.
(Though, if you want to get technical, the name for the color #77C2C3 is “Monte Carlo”, and it’s right on the fine edge between green and blue.)
Someone discovered the Colour Name & Hue identifier I see.
I’m a computer programmer with a specialization in 2D computer graphics.
So… yeah. I know all sorts of handy computer graphics stuff.
glowing? pshhh, you atheists don’t know how much you can be filled with God’s love.
God’s love is phosphorescent in nature? Who knew!
So a lightsaber is just God being really happy to see you?
don’t lightsabers make everybody happy (you know, until they cut through you
Oh we’re aware of it, but usually the subsequent messy explosion happens quicker than this.
You call your penis “god’s love”, don’t you?
Good to see that I’m not the only one who thought that.
She used to be a member of SOLDIER
Oh, thank the GODDESS, I am not the only one who saw this.
That’s not creepy at all…
I see everyone made the same jokes I already was going to make, I’m going to shortpacked I guess
Hoping it’s a True Blood style sex dream. Believing its just Ethan being an idiot (how the hey did he get in there?)
Yup, breaking into the room of a girl who survived an attempted rape a few(?) days ago as she sleeps. This will surely go well.
Let’s see:
– Very against character for Ethan.
– A little too much like Twilight (so I hear).
– That look on Joyce’s face.
Yeah, put me with Team It’s a Dream.
Soon to be a wet dream, apparently.
That jawline… Definitely Joe.
Calling it now.
Joe and Ethan have the same square jaw…
Good old jewish genes.
*Jawish.
I’m Jewish. I wish I had a jawline that square.
It’s the Jew Bear!
Creeeeeeeepy.
And odd for even Ethan. Hm.
This week in: “Dramatic Confessions!”
Please dear God let this be a sex dream and not Ethan unwisely confessing.
Also let Sarah allow him to get out of there with his knees intact if it isn’t.
Amen
Like various other people, I think it’s significant that we can’t see Ethan’s FAAAAAAAACE.
Maybe… because it’s been RIPPED OFF!
Oh, yeah. Halloween – last week. Got it.
Who’s willing to wager that that t-shirt is all he is wearing?
If it is, Sarah is going to get an eyeful.
“I’m here to have gay pre-marital sex with you. It’s all your parents’ nightmares at once!”
If her parents are anything like they are in the last universe, they wouldn’t mind that as much as you’d think.
The only way I can think of that allows a man and woman to have gay sex together is good old-fashioned sodomy.
Since when did homophobia make sense?
Wow, Joyce’s eyes make her look like she has been using a bit too much spice in her food.
Yay! I got a package filled with some microscopic love from Ohio today! I don’t know who will be in it, but I’m just thrilled!
Now I have a little bit of Willis’ SOUL! (and it cost me more than a nickel, so it should be much better than doing your mom!)
It’s Amazi-Girl! W00t! Still, not owner of my heart and liver, Billie, but still.
Thank you, Easter Bunny! Bawk bawk!
Blue eyes that glow in the dark…. hnnn.
A little off topic, but I have never read your comics and Something Positive back to back until today and realized that there are two blond Mikes out there. Therefore, please Willis, for the love of nerds do a another crossover with Randy Milholland where the two Mikes meet.
seriously? They’re both dicks, but Willis’ Mike will kick S*P Mike in the nards.
to say hello.
Things will degenerate from there, after, well, need I elaborate on S*P Mike’s mom?
I have no idea where this is going.
I love the fact that I have no idea where this is going. I have plenty of guesses but each one seems to be equally (un)likely.
What’s the opposite of a DYW! moment?
“It’s me…Ethan…
I’m Batman…”
Anyone? Just me?
Interesting to see where this goes. Nice effect with Joyce’s eyes in the low light of the room. Very nice.
Are you there Joyce? It’s me, Ethan.
Her eyes glow at night….
She’s secretly part cat