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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov ⋅ 16h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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BEGIN THE SMOOCHING
I don’t think one six-pack would be enough to induce bi-curious makeouts in someone with Billie’s tolerance.
Six packs of moonshine might be enough though.
You didn’t even give her a chance to get Pre-drunk.
Billie is ALWAYS pre-drunk.
Yeah, but the shock of the Redheaded RA of Death walk in unannounced is more than enough to sober one from pre-drunk.
Except for when she’s drunk.
I’m not so sure that inducing bi-curious makeouts in Billie actually requires booze.
Probably requires an audience, though.
One six-pack would be insufficient alone, but Ruth also has the ability to terrify Billie into thinking bi-curious makeouts are her only chance for survival.
Maybe not, but when Ruth takes off her shirt and reveals the other six-pack she brought…
Are you kidding? She was all ready to kiss Sal after only a few stolen drinks from Ruth’s room a few comics back.
All my porn watching tells me this is what happens to drunk college girls. All my drunk college girl experience tells me it’s not.
So what DOES your drunk college girl experience say will happen?
lots of laughing and/or fighting between badly singing songs and thinking they’re awesome.
Vomit. Most probably on whoever wasn’t drinking.
^ Mine says all off the above, plus ordering pizza and eventually putting a really cheesy classic movie in the DVD player (or, given how long it’s _actually_ been, the VHS deck). Yet somehow managing to get changed into PJs and clean their teeth before sloping off to collapse half-asleep on the side of someone else’s bed, rather than just passing out in the chair they’re sitting in like the guys.
To be fair, that sounds hilarious.
Of course, forgetting to actually start the movie, just leaving it on the menu screen all night
Watching a lot of TV and being woefully single, mostly.
I see now. Well-played.
(I looked at SP! first tonight)
It’s hilarious because I didn’t plan it to work that way XD (I read here first)
Oh I can just hear the fan fics being written in the minds of thousands of readers.
AND THERE’S THE TITLE.
Who is Ruth pretending to be friends for? Is her father showing up soon?
If I am not mistaken, her father is deceased.
Perhaps she is just trying to make a friend in the most unlikely person, or perhaps she hops to get Billie drunk enough to have her pass out so that she can erase a certain incriminating picture on her phone and/or hard drive. Who knows?
Maybe Billie reminds her of a young Ruth and she wants to train Billie in the way of the Beer.
What more is there for Billie to learn?
Wasn’t that her father to whom she was talking to on the phone when Billie was hiding in Ruth’s closet a bunch of comic-strips ago?
No. She even made a point to say it wasn’t him later in the hallway when Billie confronted her about it.
Stepfather … Grandfather … Uncle … Foster-father … other legal guardian… who knows?
Christian Grey? Sorry, that was uncalled for . . .
Head Alien?
That does sound believable. I was beginning to think something was bugging Ruth but I like your theory better
Maybe… bare with me here.
She needed actual human company and Billie sad as it may seem knows her more personally then anyone else.
That or the crazier option of her attempting to offer an olive branch. I prefer the first hypothesis though.
I will not bare with you!
Haha, oh man can’t believe I wrote the wrong bear.
But fine Willis suit your self.
I am suddenly reminded of a guest strip Willis did for Rene Engstrom. I wish Anders Loves Maria wasn’t so hard to navigate these days, and the old guest strips were easier to find.
Found it!
(NSFW)
I hate and love you for showing me that.
That is certainly a penis.
You know, this sort of thing seems to always happen when Willis does guest strips, for some reasons.
I’ve seen more Willis-drawn dick in the last couple weeks than ever before…
It needs the Mapplethorpe touch. Where is the bull-whip?
I totally mis-read that as drawn Willis-dick.
I was like 0_0 why have you seen so many pictures Willis that way?
Rule 34, my friend. Rule 34…
Oh jeez, why does this exist, and why can’t I stop looking at it?
I’m scared…maybe aroused? Well it depends in how it goes.
IT’S A TRAP!!! -G. Ackbar
It’s like being in a shark cage, while there’s a shark, on the inside, and the shark has boobs, and beer.
My boner is confused now. Thanks for that.
Then my work here is done. *fwoosh*
Bless you caped crusader of artifical hair.
Black Canary? Batwoman?
When I read this comic, I thought I finally found out why this chapter was called Strange Beerfellows. Now I know why it really is.
That is an awesome simile. Well done.
I can’t wait for the next story of Awkward Bonding!
Awkward boning?
Sounds perfect for Dina.
No, no. They definitely meant bonding. Or maybe it was bondage…
Now you had better to cheer for the Colts or else. (knows nothing about football)
Well you got the right colors and uni style but the only uni we’ve seen for Ruth is the Toronto Maple Leafs (wrong sport btw)
Bludgers
And then I remembered this comic takes place in Indiana and understood everything and felt dumb.
Ruth cares not for your/our/their Colts!
Look, I just gotta take a load off.
Then you should be in a guy’s room – to get the load off!
No, she needs to get *HER* load off. not his.
There are guys willing to do that, or die trying. Just head for the virgins, they want that experience more than Dina wants and actual dinosaur bone.
And then they were best friends!
Forever!
And ever and Ever and EVer and EVEr and EVER…
And ever and … well, except for that one time, but we shan’t speak of that…
MY GODS.
RUTH HAS INVITED BILLIE OVER FOR DINNER AND POLITE CONVERSATION.
I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL OF BLUE LAZER.
COLLEGE COMMANDOS!
No, Miss Billingsworth, I expect you to dine!
Ahahahahaha I hug you
(and your mom)
for that comment
Ah, Miss Lessick, we eat again!
Yesssssss I hope this is the beginning of the Billy/Ruth friendship, I liked them in Roomies, was sad they were enemies here.
Her first clue should’ve been the idea of Sal using the door.
Billie Painted the door like a window in hopes that it would get Sal to use it more.
Then Sal ripped it off from the bottom, assuming they opened the same way. Facilities doesn’t like Sal anymore.
Did facilities EVER like Sal?
(“God DAMMIT! Bill, look at that. Shoe prints, on the brickwork near that third floor window, AGAIN! Who lives in that damn room, Batman?!”
Now I’m picturing angry janitors using extend-o-mops to clean sal’s shoeprints off the wall by her window and grumbling the entire time, and it is amusing.
And I have no idea where this is going, or coming from for that matter. I don’t believe Ruth is lonesome.
Given the cruel and heartless persona she feels she has to adopt, I can see it.
Billie’s not cruel and heartless. I mean, something has to be pumping the blood through her, or the alcohol would never reach her brain.
Besides, she bought Joyce boots. Do the cruel boot the bootless?
Well, “boot” as in “kick out”…
Yeah, when someone who has tormented me for a while starts acting kinda sorta friendly, I get suspicious and scared too.
Good job, Ruth. Make sure to barge in on people’s private rooms without knocking. There’s not a chance in hell they’d be pulling a Mary.
Ruth wouldn’t care. Soon she’ll be too sloshed to remember what clothes are.
That’s the strangest euphemism I’ve heard for jilling off in quite a while.
While I was thinking along the same lines, I must say I have never heard that saying before. Any backstory on the origin?
There’s a character in this comic called Mary who prefers being naked when alone?
Damn, but if she can’t talk, how can she ask for another beer?
Mime?
Just grab one. Who ‘asks’ anyway?
Ahhhh, both Shortpacked and Dumbing of Age made me smile today. Good way to end a Friday.
Aww, fwiends!
GEROMINO STILTON MUST SAVE THE DRAGONS
CAN YOU? TAKE THE QUIZ
I must do this. I must save the dragons.
I’m some sort of frog poet, apparently.
If you have a little Uru hammer and summon the hammer we can call you Throg.
You know, the Frog of Thunder? Hammer brother to the Mighty Thor?
What–does no one else read Pet Avengers??
Summon the thunder not the hammer.
Typos.
This is why you dont post at 2am from your cell phone w/o your glasses on.
Sounds like you’re having an interesting evening.
If her plan is to drink her under the table and then destroy the evidence Ruth has picked a formidable adversary.
And so it begins.
Didn’t see this one coming! Still can’t shake the impression that this is going to end very badly for at least one of them. Probably Billie.
I’m electing to be an optimist here. This is where Ruth bares her soul to Billie, they achieve eternal sisterhood, or girl bro-therhood. Ruth becomes Billie’s special friend, the only friend that can give Billie her baths.
Or Ruth reveals that she is secretly a Pony lover and is there to bring Billie into the fold.
Humm…what do you call a female MLP fan since ‘brony’ isn’t quite right in this case?
It’s my understanding that ‘girl’ is considered the apt term. ‘Brony’ only exists to point out the perceived oddity of male pony-lovers.
Er, you know what I mean.
… Does that mean that I am not a girl?
That’s correct.
There’s a reason My Little Pony has been popular with females since its first incarnation: your choice is to like it or lose your gender identification.
Wow.
Some have taken to calling them “Pegasisters”, though most people agree that “brony” pretty much encompasses the whole of the teenage/adult fanbase and that it’s not gender specific.
Pegasister.
Don’t ask.
As the Joker once said, “NEVER give them what they expect!!”
Yeah… RAs in a THINKING school don’t get Master Keys just handed out like this. Instead, you have access to one BUT you have to document why you checked it out AND 90% of the time you just get the key to the specific room you have a legit reason to enter instead of the horribly abusable Master.
I’ll forgive it for the sake of this school obviously works however the hell Willis says it does, I just HOPE he knows what a stretch this is.
It’s not really that big of a stretch for an RA to get a master key, in all seriousness. When I worked for Residence Life at my university, even the night staff who weren’t RA’s often had easy access to one of the master keys in case of emergencies. The only documentation you had to give was the time you took it, so they knew who to come looking for if it went missing.
Well, it might not be a stretch but it is stupid beyond belief. The RA can just be super lootin’ during the day when people have class. Oh your game disappeared? Probably your roommate or guests get blamed unless there’s a specific reason to think the RA might have done it. Oh and ha ha co ed dorms where you can just enter people’s locked rooms at will. That’s safe and not ripe for abuse at all! People say too many lawsuits have “ruined” America, but honestly some places are so dumb they haven’t been sued ENOUGH yet.
I lived in a dorm once where anyone who said they got locked out was handed the master key to get back in… none of the keys had the “do not copy” on them either…
OTOH, it finally provides solid explanation for how Ruth got Billie’s cheerleader outfit.
She really has no-one to spend time with other than her enemy? That’s pretty friggin’ sad.
Like, “Watchmen’s Comedian confesses only to his old arch-enemy” sad.
If my RA did this, I’d be rather confused. Mainly because I don’t have a TV. Or a liking for beer. Or enmity with him. Or tits.
If my RA did this I’d be confused because I don’t have a liking for beer, or an emnity with him, or tits, or a college dorm room, nor have I ever had an RA.
Though I do have a TV, rather a nice one, so I suppose it’s not that improbable.
I APPROVE! BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! BEST FRIDAY STRIP! WILLIS YOU ARE A GOOD MAN AND I WILL BUY YOU A TACO NEXT TIME YOU’RE IN NYC!
Sorry, got a bit excited there, but there is something I just LOVE about what just happened.
you do this to us on a FRIDAY, Mr Willis?
y u torture? kik
note to self – dont post so early in the morning because I cant even manage to spell “lol” correctly………………..
Y U get me saying “kik” out loud and laughing like an idiot over and over again.
Well, wiigii caught on, so…
you do this to us on a FRIDAY, Mr Willis?
y u torture? lol
Ah yes, being buddy buddy through death threats. Surefire way to make friends Ruth (end sarcasm).
Yeah, I’m not too surprised by this turn of events. Strip away the violence (Ruth is essentially Billie with a little age and filled to the eyebrows with cynicism) and they have alot (roar!) in common.
This is incredibly suspicious. It is possible that the only point of this is to harrass Billie by making her suspicious, or to put her off guard for later.
Other possibilities: Be there to see Sal enter via the window, erase photos, get her busted for alchohol, whatever.
Now we just sit and wait for the water to boil…
Well this is unexpected.
THEORY: Ruth is drinking with Billie because only Billie knows about Ruth’s illegal drinking habits.
Yeah. She’s got no one else to drink with.
Also, if you add “Todd” onto the “Jason” in your name, then your avatar and your name would both rock together.
I am feeling… warm… and… and… full of… of… positive feelings.
I hate it.
Go read today’s Shortpacked!, should fix you right up.
“I realize I’ve been a bongo but you are a worthy adversary and this is an olive branch” isn’t creepy until we get to the “If you value your life, don’t ask any questions.” Although, perhaps the latter is only to say “If I have to admit this is an olive branch then my head will explode, so don’t make me say it.”
All aboard, the USS Ship Biluth is leaving port . . .
The Seaward?
I want them to be friends so badly. SO BADLY D:
What’s With the Shortpacked page? It’s all Coded and stuff.
I was also rather curious about that.
I dunno. I hafta wait for Frumph to get online to take a look at it. I’m not competent for this kind of work. Apologies!
OK, for some reason I can’t view the Shortpacked page for today (or presumably any other day). It’s showing some sort of code or something. Just fyi Willis, something odd going on with that site.
Billie and Ruth should just make out and get it over with.
THE SHIP HAS BEEN LAUNCHED TOWARDS BONE CITY.
The hell?