We’re under $5k from our next stretch goal for the Kickstarter, $30k to print Roomies! Book 2! (If you only know of Dumbing of Age and not my other webcomics, Roomies! was a webcomic I drew from 1997-1999. It’s like this webcomic, but with more aliens.)
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See, Dorothy, he does have a plan.
along with his Mountain Dew plan and wanting to be a kick-ass bachelor with an awesome house, water slide, ball pit, freedom from wearing pants and buying K-mart brand of soap, Walky’s got his whole life planned out
Near as I can figure, the plan stops somewhere around 12. The remaining pages are just marked “repeat.”
–which will eat him, so then the VELOCIRAPTOR will be alone!
[and actually be the size of a chicken if we’re being accurate]
A Utah Raptor on the other hand (if I’m not mistaken).
I think velociraptor was bigger than a chicken, but not as big as depicted in Jurassic Park (they were more like Deinonychus). Compsognathus was around the size of a chicken though.
Yeah, velociraptors were about the size of a large trumpeter swan, if you’re looking for a modern animal to compare them to.
While Utahraptors were oft-overlooked horrifying death-beasts.
But notably slower and less maneuverable than a velociraptor. IIRC they also didn’t hunt in packs.
you’ll probably die cold and alone inside a clone velociraptor mouth walky…
You’re never alone inside a clone velociraptor mouth.
Anyone know where I can get Christmas cards with that on?
And it’s probably not cold, either.
Or you could eat the clone velociraptor and put the skin on your wall.
and I thought cloned velociraptors smelled bad on the inside
Velociraptors were chicken sized. How would Walky fit?
I’ve been waiting for this story to comeback.
So you should probably be better friends with Dina, Walky.
Agreed. She’d totally be up for this.
Dina/Walky shipping initiated.
Dina/Walky shipping ever stopped?
or Queen Dopplepopolis
I don’t think they’ve even spoken yet. He may never know that she worships his dino doodling skills. And that they could raise a beautiful velociraptor clone together.
If I recall, Dina was the only one that he did NOT hit on at the beach trip.
Also Sal. And Joyce. The jury’s still out on whether what he did with Billie was hitting on her or friendly teasing.
A cloned Velociraptor that he can totes sex up and eat McNuggets with.
but mostly sex up.
Unless he plans on turning velociraptors into McNuggets…
They probably would taste like chicken, and not just because ‘everything tastes like chicken’.
Considering that velociraptors came first, it’s probably more accurate to say that everything tastes like velociraptor.
That’s just because the machines didn’t know what to make chicken taste like.
Very nice. Walky understands that while people need people, they also need space at times.
And of course the situation with Joyce and Ethan will lead to awkwardness. Probably. Or not. Does anyone else believe that Mike will be there to watch the show?
He won’t be there to watch the show. He’ll be there to DIRECT it.
You don’t need to direct a trainwreck.
But they often can use a little choreography assistance when they get to the chorus line part.
I think Walky has my priorities.
Except in my case they’re CYBORG cloned velociraptors.
id have to clone something bigger so i could ride it
your mom had to clone something bigger so she could ride it. It was mike.
hee hee hee
But a cyborg velociraptor would have the strength of five gorillas!
b-b-but what if they start learning!!?
That’s why cyborg velociraptors. Just insert a line of “learning = FALSE;” into their programming code, and you’re golden!
Then it’s good. The whole point of creating cyborg velociraptors is to engineer a new master race.
Velociraptors? Are you flipping insane? Narwhals are way better.
Well, Joyce, I for one am proud to be a freak then! 🙂
Me too.
Loners unite!
…Unite far, far away from each other!
Ethan, you so macabre. noone mentioned Dyin’
Hey, sometimes we have to think our own mortality.
not me. I’m going to find the water fountain of youth and drink from it forever.
You do know that you have to sacrifice someone for it to work, right?
I’ll sacrifice myself by drowning myself in it.
It doesn’t work that way. If you want the water, you must sacrifice a life and you can’t sacrifice yourself to extend your life.
c-can it be a squirrel? or a bunch of squirrels? what’s the squirrel to human life ratio?
Hey! No rodent sacrifice!
It has to be a TON of squirrels. We’ve established the proposal is sound in principle, now we’re just haggling over price.
Well, it needs A life so any living thing would do.
Can I just buy some chicken at grocery store, or do I have to kill the thing myself?
You have to sacrifice the chicken’s life by letting it drink the water because without the tribute, the water could kill you.
Actually if I had a canary drink some water and it died, I would take that as an indication that I *shouldn’t* drink it.
For those who came in late, I was talking about the procedures on how to use the fountain of youth.
I feel Ethan’s pain about dying alone and unloved.
NO, Ethan. BAD. That’s a BAD ETHAN.
Joyce’s ignorance shows again.
Yes, because ignorance is the sign of a horrible human being!
Let us destroy all the ignorant masses!!!
To be fair, Joyce is displaying .
Displaying a sadly common belief
This is exactly what I thought when I saw the third panel.
Well Aristotle said we might be gods.
So… does that mean I don’t believe in myself?
Well, I have a new ship.
By the time I’m old, I’ll be a drug dealer.
By the time I’m old, I’ll be dead.
My death will be loud, horrific, and preceded by the words, “Of course I know what I’m doing!”
My last words will be “I’m sure it’s friendly!”
My last words will be “It was great while it lasted”
I’m pretty sure you’re required by Dino Law to say “Clever girl.”
If I ever make a superhero, his real name is going to be Dino Law.
If I wanted to die, I wanted to die fighting or die peacefully with my loved ones while watching something good from my childhood.
What about fighting with your loved ones?
My last words will be “Looks like there won’t be an open casket at my funeral!”
I want to say “Now why did I do that?” like General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813. I won’t be able to do it in 1813 though.
My last words will be “Son. Listen to me. Before I die I have to tell you…”
walky has got his future on lock
I wonder if Dina heard Walky’s plan.
No, the only doors in the background are sliding ones.
Do you doubt that she can hide behind sliding doors?
You cannot hope to best Dina in a door-hiding-off.
She is simply the best there is.
Gravatar + comment = awesome.
For some reason I keep getting that same response.
>DINA: Ride sliding door like a mechanical bull.
This is incredibly silly!
To be a loner?
CAUSE IT WORKED.
Correct avatar.
Man, Walky is the best. He really has his priorities straight in life.
I support Walky in this. not to get too heavy (I’m gonna) but I believe that by being by yourself you are better able to introspect and develop your own identity. Just wanted to say how nice and refreshing it is to have a character that sees that way too. plus, I would get an Oviraptor, it would make eggs for me every morning.
Put those pajama Jeans already!
Put them where?
This comic was really weird.
Ethan and Walky….talking.
Is this a first?
This feels like fan fiction of two people from different dimensions that should never meet.
Yeah, Ethan and Walky meeting each other just seems eldritch.
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Eaton Shortpacked wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
You’d have to send me a link to the Eaton stuff.
I tag searched shortpacked and didn’t see them interact.
And not just talking, Joyce prefers Ethan atm. It’s like watching a narrative collapse.
(and soon, a social collapse when Joyce realises Ethan is gay and Jewish and goes for “GASP” again)
that’s when Walky steps in and saves the day because “it’s the world that’s wrong”
I fear she will only find out about both things, after the wedding…
I think you’re overestimating Joyce’s ability to find out about things…
“You’re Jewish? Gasp! …Well, I can fix that.”
“You’re gay, too?? …wait a second, I’ll go get my yellow dress.”
Apparently Joyce had never met people who have very, very, very little faith in humanity like myself.
Hey, I have little faith in humanity, too!
We should hang out.
So, you’re saying she hasn’t spent any time on the internet? Because she’d only have to be online for 5 seconds to find more of them than she could ever care to meet. 😉
I think it’s awesome that there’s a comic on the internet that *actually* gives full attention to what *real people* are like!
Too many comics have a single panel that panders to the obvious fan-base and in no significant way examine the impacts while the readers put a bunch of words in the author’s and characters’ mouths.
Does Randall Munroe know about Walky’s plan?
Will he call it ¨Old Lace¨ ?
you are my new best friend. Deal with it.
I also understand this reference.
You are also my new best friend. Deal with it
Is that stubble on Ethan’s chin? (He-he)
Where exactly on campus are they right now?
They’re standing in front of the center desk inside Read Hall.
Y’know what I’d like to see? Hooper on karaoke night, singing “Killing Loneliness.”
Whos gonna break it to Joyce that Ethan is gay? Anyone? Hm?
Unless Mike beats him to it, Ethan should be the one to tell her… after sleeping with her of cause.
Gotta love drama!
I like being alone. …and I am a freak, yes.
RA? Joyce is being racist against introverts again!
Hey, I’m an introvert and I don’t like being alone. She’s being racist towards loners.
If Walky will be living with a cloned velociraptor by the time he dies, will all of us be living with a cloned velociraptor as well?
Dying with one, more appropriately.
nah, we will keep them at bay with our Lightsabers.
I hear from a reliable source we will have them in 3-5 years
Walky reveals that he’s the XKCD guy’s nemesis.
Woh, seeing Ethan and Walky next to each other like that is weird…
Joyce is sure in for a surprise…