Except Sal isn’t shatting on Linda. She’s just calling Linda out for what Linda does.
My father seems to accept being called out on his crap with about as much confused grace. It’s like he has no possible concept for being the villain in most of his children’s stories. Unfortunately for him, the only child who does respect him is the one who’s a villain. Oddly enough, for no real reason.
Man i would not be that bold irl unless i was in a ‘don’t give a shit’ mood/able to run away asap after, but i can totally imagine some random student passing by like “i don’t know you or her personally but i think you’re a shitty mom” and just leaving XD
Hopefully Linda continues to think not inviting her to lunch is punishing her for her “rudeness” best case scenario Linda leaves in a huff telling herself her daughter still needs to grow up and worst case Sals prediction about having her whole month ruined involves looking for a job. She has precious work experience while being a high-school student so she’s atleast no stranger to finding work.
Considering why Sal put her motorbike into storage I wouldn’t be surprised if Sal’s been considering getting a job for a while. It’s only a matter of time before tuition becomes more ammunition for Linda to use against her daughter…
Perhaps Amber could teach Amber’s income-generating secrets to Sal. Assuming Amber makes her money by livestreaming, Sal’s also an impressive Mario Kart racer.
Federal financial aid is tough to get separate from parental income if you’re under… well, Sal is under that age. Iforget if it’s 21 or 25 but it’s in there somewhere unless one gets married.
Somewhere Dan’s head just flew up and he’s not sure why.
Work-study, sure, but her only loan option would be private loans and without her parents co-signing she’d find that a hard go, I think.
Also, IU’s workstudy doesn’t really pay enough on top of being nigh impossible to get into given all the competition, so she couldn’t rely on that being enough to cover her tuition, living expenses, and books without some other form of financial aid. And good luck getting a job in Bloomington that pays sufficiently to actually cover even a portion of tuition at entry level. Basically her only real option would be to drop out, get employed somewhere that has an education incentive, like Cook Medical or a few other places, and then re-enroll through their program at a later date, but then she’d be restricted to whatever degree plans they are willing to cover and most of them also only pay for a portion of your tuition IIRC, and whatever schooling she gets would be on top of a full time job likely doing menial labor.
She basically has very little in the way of good options. Maybe if IU had a financial aid department that actually HELPED their students find scholarships and grants they qualify for she’d have a shot, as her history likely qualifies her for a few things, but good luck navigating the absolutely terrible database that has zero organization, zero filters or searchability, and the absolute worst means of navigating I’ve ever encountered (thousands of pages, you have to click through the pages one at a time, every time you click on one of the entries to view the full entry and go back to the database it puts you back on page one, it takes forever to load each new page, etc.). I spent around 6 hours going through that monstrosity and only managed to get to page 5 of the database and did not find anything useful for me in that entire process when I was a student. And if you go into the financial aid building to try to actually get help from supposed professionals who’s entire job, in theory, is connecting students with financial aid opportunities they qualify for, they’ll just give you the run around saying “oh, that’s not actually MY job, you need an appointment with this other person” no matter who you talk to, so you make an appointment with the other person, wait several weeks or months for your next meeting, then they tell you the same thing and point you at someone else. IU is a hellscape if anything goes even slightly wrong because there is basically zero chance you will ever get anything accomplished if you ever need to engage with the bureaucracy even a little bit, it truly doesn’t matter how easy or simple something SHOULD be to solve, they WILL draw it out long enough for you to just give up.
I refuse to believe database design that bad is accidental. What I can’t figure out here is why. What does it gain the Financial Aid department to have no students actually receiving financial aid? (Honestly, the only thing I can come up with is that someone at the Board of Regents level absolutely hates the idea of The Poors being able to get a college education and thus be in a position to compete with The Right Kind Of People, and has thus ensured that the financial aid that could make that happen simply isn’t available. I don’t like being this cynical, but…..)
Don’t be in their face. In fact, be as far _out_ of their faces as possible at all times. Give reasonable reasons, mind you – very specifically _ones they will like_ – like the idea that you’re really throwing yourself into school to get the best education you can. I think that would work well here.
Sal clearly has lots of practice at this.
Be friendly, avoid all conflicts, and whenever possible, be as out of touch as you can until you have that paper.
Then run like hell.
Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything, oh wait, of course I totally am.
She’s the type who always says they hate drama but is high key the reason for the drama. She actually reminds me of a friend-ish acquaintance (friendship past its expiry date).
I feel like unless Linda’s behaviour gets even worse she probably will, but it’ll be the sort of thing where it doesn’t happen very often and she’s not really a part of their life for reasons the kids won’t pick up on until they’re older.
1) Carla, in spite of her high social value due to who her parents are, is one of Sal’s bad-influence friends.
2) Carla is trans.
3) Jocelyn is Carol’s daughter, therefore under suspicion due to being related to the woman who got Walky kidnapped.
4) Jocelyn is trans.
5) Because it’s not credible for there to be two trans women with only two degrees of separation, and also all trans people are part of a single hive mind, clearly everything that’s been happening is part of a trans conspiracy to make Linda’s kids rebel against her.
6) Therefore Linda explodes. And I have a headache.
You definitely have a future as a political analyst. You’ll still get a headache, though not a migraine. You get one of those only when you try to read someone else’s political analysis.
Oh yeah, Carol’s probably burning the bridge and salting the earth upon which it stood. I don’t see an obvious trigger like that for Linda, although I wouldn’t be surprised if one appears since it is a lot more dramatic and a lot more conclusive if the relationship breaks down explosively.
Linda’s bad, but I feel like she’s not so bad (yet) that the desire to make it work when you’re older would go away. Admittedly, I’m bringing in my own biases here. I’ve been that kid visiting a distant grandparent and not picking up on the bad blood.
Shes gonna be the type of parent to see photos of her daughters wedding posted by a guest on Instagram and realize she hasn’t heard from her since graduation. Then try to go ape shit only to realize she’s been blocked on everything, and she doesn’t know where the hell sal lives
Yeah, I think this is probably for the best for Sal, Linda (and Charles mostly by virtue of complicity) is a repeatedly toxic influence in her life and she really just.. Doesn’t need to put up with that. I’m glad she’s coming to that realization and continuing down the path of living for herself and not for Linda.
…Just really hope this doesn’t end up with her deciding that her relationship with Danny was just something she did for Linda too because I think they have really good chemistry and it’d suck for that outburst yesterday (in comic time) to be prophetic.
Is it actually possible to apply to a college in the US without filling out the FAFSA application sooner or later? It’s certainly not possible without being urged to do so at least a thousand times.
I doubt she’d break things off with Danny. Sal’s smart enough, and has had enough time to really work through her shit, to realize that Danny is a person who actually just accepts her how she is rather than trying to impose some idea of how he wants her to be.
y’know, i get on jennifer and lucy for being stuck in the high school mind set, but at least they aren’t like 40 years old and moms, my fuckin goodness linda.
ppl do say some ppl never out grow high school but other than having a ‘cushy’ job where you’re an authority figure i’m surprised that kinda behavior wouldn’t be shut down by an acquaintance if not a random stranger who could humble them
He’s been like this the whole time. Despite how terrible Linda has been to Sal to her face, the only time we have ever seen Charles “go against” her was when he talked to Walky a couple strips ago about Amber. He’s completely comfortable signaling to his kids that they have support even if it isn’t from their mother, but we have never once seen him bother to do that for Sal. He’s also shown that he shares Linda’s opinion of Sal to a certain extent (when he was equally shocked that Sal showed up with Danny and not a tattooed punk rocker or whatever).
I genuinely don’t get why people think he’s so much better and/or more redeemable than Linda toward Sal. Linda’s self-righteousness, stubbornness, and emotional reactions just make her attitude more obvious.
two factors come into play here: 1) not being actively awful and mostly keeping quiet leaves some seeing the possibility that he’s thinking positive things he’s not voicing. 2) Hank had a similar dynamic with his wife at first and managed to pull ahead in the parent rankings.
I think the thing to remember with the Hank/Carol dynamic is that Hank normally did get to atleast speak and wasn’t afraid to argue with his wife(admittedly for patriarchal reasons but still) whereas Charles seems to think standing around saying nothing and never voicing an pposing opinion is an acceptable way to parent.
Maybe; the conversation with Walky and this moment where he’s noticing things are weird seem like it’s setting up for me the moment where he’s starting to notice and prepare to point out that Linda is a tiger mom.
It took Hank a very, very long time to realize Carol was a monster, I am willing to give Charles the benefit of the doubt that having the kids at college going through changes is starting to make him think about some things. Especially since he’s kind of letting her be the bad cop a lot of the time.
I think Hank actually changed. He and Carol agreed on a lot in their Family Weekend appearance. It was him with the “Hitler was maybe partly Jewish” bit.
He was just willing to listen to Joyce and learn from her.
I think it’s worth noting that Willis quite intentionally contrasted Charles and Linda’s reaction to Sal reminding ’em what she prefers to be called: Charles goes “of course, Sal” and Linda straight up didn’t bother acknowledging it and then kept right on going with “Sally”.
So there’s an authorial intent to show the differences between ’em.
I want to believe so too. And I just looked at the time when Linda said “it’s proof we did right by her.” He looks genuinely pained.
I really feel like Charles is starting to realize that Linda’s bad cop routine is pushing his kids away and all her good intentions are just pissing in the wind.
I’m hoping that Charles’ last-straw moment will lead to him taking charge rather than taking a hike. The thing about wanting peace is that occasionally you have to take it. I really hope this. I want to hear his command voice.
He probably doesn’t see it as an issue since sal hasn’t done anything as “bad” as robbing any more convenience stores even if she got into some fights here and there
Or he secretly agrees with Linda at the back of his head b/c from their point of view, shippnig her off to a catholic boarding school “worked”
Of the three she probably has the least in common with Walky and the most with Sal, and it’s interesting that the favouritism is inversely correlated like that.
Jennifer thinks that you should be popular at all costs, lest you perish from lack of attention. So is it really that odd that she’d ignore some stuff to stay in good with the parental figures that give her attention?
People like Linda deserve to be constantly walked away from, in every possible circumstance. Conversations with family, grocery shopping, eating at a restaurant, Uber rides, job interviews, medical care, just make it impossible for them to do anything whatsoever if they can’t be chill for the duration.
Nah, Sal made the best choice by walking away, really.
It’s not a debate, there’s not magical sequence of words that will make Linda’s racism vanish. A “discussion” with her is nothing more than a display of HER dominance.
The ass-wad presents a white supremacist game where the stakes are attention, the players are white-passing young adults, the weapons are words, and respect for minorities are bargaining tokens. She is checking whether or not Sal is gonna submit to that game structure. The only winning move is NOT to play.
Just a quick aside: Sal is not white-passing. Passing is a verb, an action, and it requires that you not acknowledge any BIPOC ancestry you have, because you are literally trying to pass yourself off as white. Sal actively does not do this. I know the trend is to call a lot of mixed people “white-passing” to indicate their skin color, but as a mixed person, I promise that “mixed” is complicated enough without using a term that basically says we all want to be white.
I’m hoping that’s not just an argument based on grammar? Because ‘white-passing’ can very much be a passive effect, and it’s not always just skin colour.
If you want to get real grammatical about it, ‘white-passing’ is being used as an adjective. It’s like saying something is ‘green-looking’. Looking is an action, but green-looking is an adjective, because it is an adjective that depicts what the result is (green) when you perform the action (looking).
YUP. Hence the excellent detail in this strip where Sal suddenly changes her accent in the third strip. She giving up on passing white, giving up on her mom, and shifting focus on her own self-respect as a strong, independent woman of color.
It’s getting a little insulting to be repeatedly compared to them. I exist separately and post my own thoughts, and it’s a little dehumanizing to just be “imitation Taffy” for reasons I can’t even figure out.
I’m sorry, I was just trying to continue puns related to cooking mama as well as referencing their style of deadpan I like, didn’t mean for you to feel that way. 🙁
More like I’ve been forgetting things. Losing time. Suddenly not remembering where I’m at or how I got there. It’s been disorienting and I’m sorry if I’ve been more of a dick than usual.
Depending on whether those just started coming on suddenly or whether they’ve come up in your life before, it might be worth looking into (maybe even seeing a doctor if they get more serious), those might be symptoms of ADHD or similar, who knows. Either way, take it easy, kay? 🥲
Talk to Laura about it next time they come around here, they deal with TBI and several other neurodivergences and might even point you to a few resources to find out what’s happening.
I would send you some dopamine and serotonin if I could. I’ve had similar issues I understood to be dissociation (not sure if it was related to depression, PTSD, AuDHD combo, or none of the above). Definitely worth tracking it, or talking it through with a head-med person. It can mess with you.
Note: apologies for unsolicited advice, just wanted to send not-alone vibes
Oracle, I’m sorry you’ve been feeling disoriented and irritated. I hope things work out for you soon.
I would recommend talking with a doctor about the losing time. Many possible sources of it, which I’m not qualified to speculate on. Some are as simple as absent-mindedness or preoccupation. Others could definitely be more serious. Or it could be something easy to fix.
That level of memory loss can be a symptom of epilepsy/seizures or other serious issues in the brain. Getting in to see a doctor can be difficult but it would probably be good to be checked for severe problems.
In a bit imma have an early dinner, gonna fashion ground turkey, red sauce, salsa roja, onions and ketchup into a neat ample meat sauce on account i forgot to eat all day
autistic hyperfocus where i implemented Ratchet and Clank style rope swings for a platformer game for a code commission, worth it! 😊
I dunno whether y’all are looking at this old thread or not, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what Oracle said about episodes of missing time. It’s like, where are the lines between daydreaming / flow state / being lost in thought / losing track of time / spacing out / dissociation / intrusive thoughts & images / absence seizures / fugue states / catatonic episodes / withdrawal…
… like, it’s all just “missing time”. It’s all just “being somewhere else”.
I’ve been dealing with that a lot, recently. Like, a whole hour will go by and I won’t even notice it: I’ll just notice that the clock has changed.
Anyway, I stumbled across these 2 websites, which I’m exploring: maybe they might be useful to others as well?
I apologize — I know that references to childhood and schools can be very triggering to some.
It’s just that, sometimes, I feel affected by these absences the way I used to when I was a kid. Like large chunks of time and memory are just MISSING from my day, with no real recollection of what was going on out in objective reality.
So, sometimes, talking to my brain lovingly and tenderly, as if it were a kid itself, or a wiggly impatient puppy dog… sometimes that helps me. So the drawings and such in the “education resources” page are useful to me.
…Anyway, dunno if anyone else is checking this old page, but if they are, here ya go!
I sincerely hope that you’re using confusing pronouns and not saying that Sal is the abuser! It’s been made pretty clear that her parents (especially her mother) are racist, sexist, and maybe classist. I can’t blame Sal AT ALL for noping out of this.
As an example, my Mom really adores my long-term partner. (I have to note that we are all white and I am well aware that I will never be able to fully understand the experience of people of colour, so my viewpoint is limited.). Mom loves being around when Partner is around because they get along very well and he adores her too! BUT oftentimes when I visit Mom I don’t come to visit with Partner (we’ve both got weird work schedules). While Mom is always happy to see Partner, she has NEVER once been upset that it was “only” me visiting. I’m her daughter and she always makes me feel welcome and loved. <3
This is why Mom is a good parent and Linda is NOT. Sal is the one being abused here.
Maybe I should have waited a few days before I tried to make a joke by dropping a completely ridiculous hot take that had no basis in reality. Good Lord.
😮 Ya feeling alright bruh? If you feeling more stressed than usual lately, it might be good to take a break from this place for a few days if ya feel like it’d help.
I did not read your comment as a joke; I sometimes have a hard time figuring out sarcasm and humour online. I am sorry that I did not realize it was a “hot take” and a joke.
I got the joke and found it funny! That said, as much as you might not like it, adding a /s or a /sarcasm at the end can be very helpful. Unfortunately, in my experience, there is no level of “completely ridiculous” that could not plausibly be someone’s beliefs.
Yeah, even if I didn’t think it was funny (which is just a personal preference), I thought it was obviously enough a joke. Yesterday’s…not so much, when the context made it more important to be clear on that. But, can’t win with everyone.
I’ve got my fingers crossed that this is a learning experience for her! I often describe myself as a “bleeding-heart, rose-coloured glasses, romantic liberal” because I WANT to believe that people can change. I WANT to believe that there is some good in everyone. I WANT to believe that, ultimately, compassion and empathy and goodness will prevail.
But that’s been a diificult belief for me to maintain since 2016 – I just don’t know anymore. I’m not even sure, for people like Linda, that is about being “thick” – i.e., if I read your comment correctly, not understanding – as it is about just not CARING. 🙁
“The only lasting truth is change” – Octavia Butler
I would recite the entire earthseed chronicals if I could but found one quote that fit the strip today peeeerfectly.
”
A tree Cannot grow In its parents’ shadows.”
“I don’t know how to explain to you why you should care about other people” is one of those quotes that only the people who *don’t* need to hear it understand I guess.
Does it help if I say you’re not alone, in wanting to believe that people can improve? Whether they see the need, or not. Whether they believe it, or not. Whether they work for it, or not.
I’m adding to that really stupid thing Tall Rachel said to Ruth, applying the concept of “Redemption is a story” specifically to parents, as a way of building on what Bryy said.
Well, Joyce’s mom is (seemingly?) older and just as stubborn, if not more so, and she doesn’t seem to be turning over a new leaf even after her husband literally leaving her
Yeah, she’s a real chatty broad. Why, if I were there, I’d cuff ‘er ’round the ear so hard, the dizzy skirt’d fall through the floorboards. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go smoke a dozen cigarettes and marvel at the concept of television while I listen to the latest Sinatra tune.
Honestly I’m really proud of Sal walking away from Linda at this point. She got the confirmation she needed, and that’s honestly the last thing Linda could give her.
I don’t think Walky is going to that Lunch either, which good for Lucy.
Charles will be one of those parents who will call in advance of each holiday to try to get his estranged kid to come celebrate completely ignoring the reason why they haven’t come back
I hope so too, Charles has always seemed like more of an enabler and unconsciously biased against Sal rather than the total dickwad that is Linda.
Although, just thinking from a narrative perspective, we already have the dynamic of “mother is a demon, father is sorta shitty but putting in effort to be a better person” with Joyce’s parents, so it would be redundant to do it again.
Yeah, the fact Hank learned his lesson and walked away from his marriage, makes it unlikely Charles will do the same. He’ll feel genuinely bad he doesn’t see his kids much, if at all, but he has chosen peace with Linda over them so many times, the kids know he will never choose their side over avoiding being in conflict with her.
He’s one of those ‘says he loves you with words, but never with actions’ types of parents. Where you know they care but they choose X, Y or Z over you time and time again, so you know they’re not safe to rely on.
But maybe he stays out of it b/c he’s also exhausted/numbs/he’s never ‘succeeded’ in too long of a temporary truce any times he has gotten involved in the past
Mind you, Sal just confirmed that everything about last night was fake including Linda valuing her input on Lucy so maybe it’s better long term for Lucy to see Linda unmasked without the fake acceptance and for Walky to realize he can’t really change his mother’s mind with sitcom schemes.
Hopefully lucy will be fine, depends on how she acted but hopefully linda remembers amber in comparison, or she’ll realize “booster was right, i can do better” b/c even without potential parental drama i don’t think walky’s as “into” lucy as the other way around, at least hesitating around having sex
You might be feeling not too great right now Sal, but you are going to look back on this moment and this realization as one of the best, most important things that’s ever happened to you.
Did sal ever have a kid in any other iteration of willis’ stories? no disrespect to her or anyone similar but i can’t rly imagine sal having kids even if she does eventually ‘settle’ down and marry danny or someone else (tho “refusing to give me grandchildren” could also be seen as another “stand” lol)
I’m glad to see that Sal’s coming to terms that her mother’s a horrible person and there’s no winning. When the game’s rigged, it’s best to just walk away.
well, we can’t say it’s 100% impossible, but if it didn’t happen when linda literally shipped sal away to a boarding school, i don’t think it’d happen now
I was hoping for, “Yesterday was a good day. I hoped today could be, too.” I doubt Linda’s reaction would change significantly, though.
I’m still holding out hope for Charles trying to make amends. He has, at least, referred to Sal as “Sal,” shown that “I’m sorry” is in his vocabulary, and maybe somewhat recognized that the “fight” feels off.
Because it seems like he has NEVER gotten involved or tried to stop Linda. He is endorsing her treatment of Sal either knowingly or is actually too blind to see what she is doing.
He’s just as abusive as she is.
Secondly I misread this morning and didn’t see the “don’t.”
I don’t really see how my response makes any sense as a response without the misreading. The insult also makes no sense.
Sal has actually grown up and given up even trying to get through to Linda, and of course that just pisses Linda off more because it’s more valuable for her to control her kids than to have the moral high ground. How is she getting *worse*
Linda the type of motherfucker to go to a Chinese restaurant and order the Pollo loco, get mad when they tell her that’s not a menu item, demand they make it anyway, and when they accommodate her unreasonable demands, she complains it’s not as good as the one at the Mexican place down the road.
“What the fuck is this?”
“A double hamburger.”
“I ordered a double cheeseburger with no cheese.”
“Yeah, they’re dressed the same. The only difference is the cheese.”
“That’s not what [Name belonging to no employee of the restaurant, past or present] told me last week.”
And then come to find out she’s never eaten at that restaurant before, she’s thinking of one with a completely different name that’s six towns over and the last time she ate there, she was 16 and had ordered a promotional item that didn’t even resemble a double hamburger. But she’s still right.
Moms and customers are always right, and since Linda stole received money from Sal that was originally earmarked for Marcie’s surgery, she can be both at the same time, achieving previously unachieved levels of being right!
Actually, I read that as both subtle and cutting critique of Linda by use of the crossout to show where she checks out of the conversation because she stopped being told she’s right.
OK, saddest part is: grey-stonning Linda won’t make her stop her to be toxic. It’s only will repulse her for a while and making her more angry and stupid.
Yet its the best thing Sal can do for herself right now, avoiding picking fights that will only escalate the tension and cause Sal more emotional grief, keeping her head down, and calmly planning her life in her parents absence is the only somewhat healthy option with a parent like Linda.
That point you realize that fighting with the idiot isn’t worth your time or stress. its sad when it happens with a parrent…then 20 years later they write you out of the will. Ask me how I know…actually don’t, that’s still wasting too much time on them.
You also get kids/siblings who suck up to an aging/ailing parent with the sole intention of getting them to rewrite their will into a favourable division for themselves. Don’t ask me how I know. *wry, but weary smile*
Amazing, she understands that her daughter has problems with how she acts towards her deeply enough to realize she has been set up on some completely intuitive level even though she doesn’t respect her enough to try and form the slightest conscious thought about what those problems may be.
Finally here it is! The magical moment in which months of being Malaya’s roommate led Sal to share her disguste for fake persons and the decision to not tolerate them. But unlike Malaya, Sal reacts with more maturity and walks away without sarcasm and much, sincere, sadness. It’s not a decision that makes you happy, but it’s necessary.
You see that back Linda? Burn it into your memory cause that will be one of the last few memories of your daughter you’ll have after she cuts you out of her life.
As long as she doesn’t become some unhinged stalker, i don’t think sal is the type to necessarily hide even if she does ‘run’ and leave but depending on how extreme it gets i wouldn’t be surprised if some ppl have changed their names/images/etc to get away from their family/life etc
Eugh, I HATE when people use ‘being the calm one’ to win an argument. My aunt did that shit to me, I was the one ‘in the wrong’ because I was upset and calling her a bongo, and she was ‘in the right’ because “she wasn’t calling anyone any names” despite the fact that the behavior I was calling her a bongo over was her snapping pictures of my mom(and HER SISTER)’s dead body behind my back. Remember guys, you can do whatever action you want so long as you don’t call anyone any mean names.
Charles, please get a clue and stand up for your daughter.
But if you’re emotionally invested in the thing you’re arguing it’s possible that you could make a less than logical argument, and other such rules that people vaguely remember from debate club.
The problem is that it often is more important.
In the sense that you will fail to persuade people. It sucks that it works that way, but we are often not rational creatures.
Does it still generally work that way? At least for me, seeing a suit on a lot of circumstances makes me go “eek someone is trying to sell me something, let’s get outta here”.
It is absolutely one of the common ‘types’ of abusers to play the ‘I am a serene person who can do no wrong, viciously being attacked by a hysterical person’ where being calm is used to define the ‘winner’ even if there is no justifiable argument for what they said or did that upset you and them playing the ‘but I’m not shouting’ card just infuriates you further.
I feel like it’s all about being “competent”. Evolution conditioned us to follow the person who looks like they know what they are doing. A calm person who seems in control of the situation seems more preferable to someone who is obviously breaking down.
as someone who breaks down under no pressure but tends to work life like a tetris master when the chips are down, I’m extremely aware of how people’s preconceived notions assume the person with the chillest demeanor must be the most reasonable and believable.
being emotional is normal and being part of humanity and shouldn’t be seen as the ‘weaker’ side unless the emotion manifests into anger and just emotionally/physically lash out
I mean you shouldn’t but conversely you could call someone else a sociopath for being emotionless/robotic in arguments but there’s def something ‘wrong ‘with someone who constantly intitates fights
That is how al ot of ppl would handle it tho idk how realistic it is if she’s still in college and they’re presumably paying for college (other than driving her bike and possibly doing deliveries would she be able to have time/energy to do a part time job outside of studies tho?) Be too much of an ex machina even as a joke but too bad carla can’t give everyone a full tuition/free ride scholarship lol
nah the messed up thing is that this has apparently happened enough for linda to recognise it and she still can’t clear the bar of “not actively being a dick”
It’s not really a test in the sense of trying to prove something though like Linda suggests.
It’s more of a test in the sense of poking a dead body with a stick to see if it is alive and not only is it alive, it argues with you about how you made it be alive and you’re a bad person.
The stick in this metaphor being ‘Sal’s presence alone without Danny’ and the dead body being ‘Linda’s racism and horrible behaviour towards her daughter’.
Literally all Sal did was show up without her boyfriend, maybe he has class now, or needed to study for exams, or any number of completely normal reasons a college student wouldn’t be available at any given moment
Sal wasn’t testing Linda. She doesn’t need to. She knows how her mom is; she’s seen it all before. What Sal didn’t know was her own feelings. Dinner last night left her confused, did she even want her parent’s affection? Was that even affection at all? She was kind of walking around in a daze. She came today to try and understand how she felt. If they continued to show her love, what would that feel like? Would it even feel good? Or bad? But Linda is all too eager to fight and then cry victim. Sal tries to give her chances to back down, but Linda can’t see them. She can’t see that her daughter is sad, not angry. Sal is maybe moving from hating her parents, to being done with them. There’s a difference.
It might seem a bit like semantics at first, but I think it’s truly important for understanding the motivations of the characters and their mindset.
Once again, fuck you linda
This is how it is with parents who only ever gave a shit about looking like a good parent and not being one
Can’t “lose” to your kids that you “own” or you look bad I guess
meet me in the pit linda
Ugh, I was going to say that the whole “terrible mom and useless passive dad combo” seems to have become a trope but then I remembered that it’s happened about twice so it’s not really a trope yet, I guess.
I will say that it’d be great if just ONCE maybe a mom on this strip can get the kind of redemptive arc that Hank seems to be having. Or at least have more to their character than just “various forms of abusive hag.”
I forget, who is the other passive dad? Joyce’s dad? He divorced the heck out of that woman at least… but I sincerely forget, there are so many characters!!
Blaine was kind of cartoonishly evil and I honestly don’t remember enough about Amber’s mom to remember if she enabled him or not. Don’t remember much about her other than she’s married to Joe’s dad now and they seem to be functional.
Joe’s dad seems to have had a nice redemptive arc, albeit mostly off-screen.
Becky’s dad was terrible; can’t say whether her mom was an enabler because she’s dead.
Walky/Sal’s parents—mom is terrible, dad doesn’t do anything about it
Joyce’s parents—mom is terrible, dad was going along with it until recently (again, with what seems like a good redemptive arc)
I can’t remember much about any of the other parents—I know Dina’s and maybe Dorothy’s parents are pretty benign but they don’t really stand out as a result.
Joyce’s dad has had this whole arc where I’ve seems to be figuring out that “I may have actually been doing wrong in the way I’ve treated my child” and it would be kinda nice, IMO, if someday one of the terrible moms might have that epiphany.
Amber’s mom wasn’t an enabler that we’ve seen. Blaine hit her and cheated on her. She’s got full custody of Amber, with court-mandated college funding from Blaine — which presumably means she won against him in court before the comic began, trying to get herself and Amber the hell away from their abuser.
She’s rather dotty and naïve, and she’s not cut out to deal with Amber’s advanced issues. But, she loves Amber, means well, and has my undying respect for risking her life (before the comic began) trying to get them both to safety.
Holy crap, did Linda get her personality from the same place as my dad? “Oh of course, now *I’m* the bad guy!”
(On that note: Sal deciding to just give up on Linda is probably the healthiest thing she could have done for herself. Certainly for me giving up on my dad ever actually seeing the shit he does was the best thing for me.)
This isn’t Sal saying she’s tired of this conversation. This is Sal announcing that she’s done with both of them. She’s saying she’s going no-contact (or as close to it as she can right now).
Linda is as blind of anything outside of herself as ever, but Dad has a feeling. They’re going to start wondering why she doesn’t return their calls. And why she never comes home when she’s not in school. And then they’ll ask Walky about it who, if Sal and Walky are smart, will tell them that he promised Sal he wouldn’t talk about her with them.
And then they’ll wonder why suddenly WALKY is seeing and talking to them less and less…
Sals parents never called her to begin with (gave no indication to her they were visiting) so If she’s lucky they won’t notice until the next vacation period where she’s hopefully made other plans. If she’s really lucky Linda will write it off as a temper tantrum and not notice until she’s paid for all of university that she’s been cut out of Sals life permanently.
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I think you mean, trying to steal being the one not being shat on for no good reason?
That is probably a concept too advanced for Linda. 🙁
Except Sal isn’t shatting on Linda. She’s just calling Linda out for what Linda does.
My father seems to accept being called out on his crap with about as much confused grace. It’s like he has no possible concept for being the villain in most of his children’s stories. Unfortunately for him, the only child who does respect him is the one who’s a villain. Oddly enough, for no real reason.
Man i would not be that bold irl unless i was in a ‘don’t give a shit’ mood/able to run away asap after, but i can totally imagine some random student passing by like “i don’t know you or her personally but i think you’re a shitty mom” and just leaving XD
Ever hear of Cooking Mama???
I feel like making a game where you be cooking SAL’s mama. With LASERs!!! 😤🎯🎇🎮
I’m not sure Linda is fit for human consumption.
Don’t worry earthling. I’m sure a modicum of exposure to sodium nitrate and gamma rays prior to cooking will render her safe.
Waste of good lasers.
Now why cook the laser devices themselves? They don’t taste very good unless you a robot or somethin XD
Maybe it’s because I’m a little stoned, but my first thought was “me eat yummy laser”, in the voice of Dollip Daze.
“Mmm laser”- Robot Homer Simpson
Looks like a job for Savey Meal-Bot.
Her hair is crazy large
Ss3 Sal
Sal’s hair deserves its own tag.
And Sal’s reached the walk-away point.
Good for her.
Good 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 her 👏🏻
I hope they keep paying her tuition.
Hopefully Linda continues to think not inviting her to lunch is punishing her for her “rudeness” best case scenario Linda leaves in a huff telling herself her daughter still needs to grow up and worst case Sals prediction about having her whole month ruined involves looking for a job. She has precious work experience while being a high-school student so she’s atleast no stranger to finding work.
Considering why Sal put her motorbike into storage I wouldn’t be surprised if Sal’s been considering getting a job for a while. It’s only a matter of time before tuition becomes more ammunition for Linda to use against her daughter…
Would Linda’s ego allow her to not be the mother of two college graduates?
Well we know she’s not above financial abuse and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if she disowned sal, because Linda is the worst
Perhaps Amber could teach Amber’s income-generating secrets to Sal. Assuming Amber makes her money by livestreaming, Sal’s also an impressive Mario Kart racer.
And there’s always student loans and work-study.
Federal financial aid is tough to get separate from parental income if you’re under… well, Sal is under that age. Iforget if it’s 21 or 25 but it’s in there somewhere unless one gets married.
Somewhere Dan’s head just flew up and he’s not sure why.
Work-study, sure, but her only loan option would be private loans and without her parents co-signing she’d find that a hard go, I think.
Also, IU’s workstudy doesn’t really pay enough on top of being nigh impossible to get into given all the competition, so she couldn’t rely on that being enough to cover her tuition, living expenses, and books without some other form of financial aid. And good luck getting a job in Bloomington that pays sufficiently to actually cover even a portion of tuition at entry level. Basically her only real option would be to drop out, get employed somewhere that has an education incentive, like Cook Medical or a few other places, and then re-enroll through their program at a later date, but then she’d be restricted to whatever degree plans they are willing to cover and most of them also only pay for a portion of your tuition IIRC, and whatever schooling she gets would be on top of a full time job likely doing menial labor.
She basically has very little in the way of good options. Maybe if IU had a financial aid department that actually HELPED their students find scholarships and grants they qualify for she’d have a shot, as her history likely qualifies her for a few things, but good luck navigating the absolutely terrible database that has zero organization, zero filters or searchability, and the absolute worst means of navigating I’ve ever encountered (thousands of pages, you have to click through the pages one at a time, every time you click on one of the entries to view the full entry and go back to the database it puts you back on page one, it takes forever to load each new page, etc.). I spent around 6 hours going through that monstrosity and only managed to get to page 5 of the database and did not find anything useful for me in that entire process when I was a student. And if you go into the financial aid building to try to actually get help from supposed professionals who’s entire job, in theory, is connecting students with financial aid opportunities they qualify for, they’ll just give you the run around saying “oh, that’s not actually MY job, you need an appointment with this other person” no matter who you talk to, so you make an appointment with the other person, wait several weeks or months for your next meeting, then they tell you the same thing and point you at someone else. IU is a hellscape if anything goes even slightly wrong because there is basically zero chance you will ever get anything accomplished if you ever need to engage with the bureaucracy even a little bit, it truly doesn’t matter how easy or simple something SHOULD be to solve, they WILL draw it out long enough for you to just give up.
Eek cats! I’m so sorry ANYONE has to slog through all that! Wow!
yikes!
so glad my bro’s and my college tuition was fully covered (uninsured motorist settlement)
I refuse to believe database design that bad is accidental. What I can’t figure out here is why. What does it gain the Financial Aid department to have no students actually receiving financial aid? (Honestly, the only thing I can come up with is that someone at the Board of Regents level absolutely hates the idea of The Poors being able to get a college education and thus be in a position to compete with The Right Kind Of People, and has thus ensured that the financial aid that could make that happen simply isn’t available. I don’t like being this cynical, but…..)
my hope is that Linda threatens no tuition, and Walky in solidarity threatens to drop out, and this makes Charles realize what’s what and pull a Hank
The key to this is how you handle it, right?
Don’t be in their face. In fact, be as far _out_ of their faces as possible at all times. Give reasonable reasons, mind you – very specifically _ones they will like_ – like the idea that you’re really throwing yourself into school to get the best education you can. I think that would work well here.
Sal clearly has lots of practice at this.
Be friendly, avoid all conflicts, and whenever possible, be as out of touch as you can until you have that paper.
Then run like hell.
Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything, oh wait, of course I totally am.
Just in time for being the calm one not to mean they’re the one who’s in the right.
Actually in their relationship this is probably the first time the calm one is the one in the right.
Eh, nah. Linda’s hardly ever been right.
Linda’s always right, far-right even.
“I’m not one of those lunatics. I would have voted for Obama a third time if I could.”
Somehow i also highly doubt that Linda’s self-description as “the calm one” is even close to accurate
She’s the type who always says they hate drama but is high key the reason for the drama. She actually reminds me of a friend-ish acquaintance (friendship past its expiry date).
Welp, there’s another mother who is never going to meet their daughter’s children (if any)
I feel like unless Linda’s behaviour gets even worse she probably will, but it’ll be the sort of thing where it doesn’t happen very often and she’s not really a part of their life for reasons the kids won’t pick up on until they’re older.
She’ll find out about Jocelyne eventually. That’ll be worse.
GODDAMMIT READING COMPREHENSION WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME
please ignore previous comment in its entirety
No no, go on. I wanna see if we can connect Linda finding out Jocelyn is trans to some kind of explosive negative consequence.
Hmm, let’s see:
1) Carla, in spite of her high social value due to who her parents are, is one of Sal’s bad-influence friends.
2) Carla is trans.
3) Jocelyn is Carol’s daughter, therefore under suspicion due to being related to the woman who got Walky kidnapped.
4) Jocelyn is trans.
5) Because it’s not credible for there to be two trans women with only two degrees of separation, and also all trans people are part of a single hive mind, clearly everything that’s been happening is part of a trans conspiracy to make Linda’s kids rebel against her.
6) Therefore Linda explodes. And I have a headache.
Impressive. Thank you for coming up with something on such short notice.
You definitely have a future as a political analyst. You’ll still get a headache, though not a migraine. You get one of those only when you try to read someone else’s political analysis.
This is extremely believable as terf brain-rot logic, quite impressive.
Oh yeah, Carol’s probably burning the bridge and salting the earth upon which it stood. I don’t see an obvious trigger like that for Linda, although I wouldn’t be surprised if one appears since it is a lot more dramatic and a lot more conclusive if the relationship breaks down explosively.
Linda’s bad, but I feel like she’s not so bad (yet) that the desire to make it work when you’re older would go away. Admittedly, I’m bringing in my own biases here. I’ve been that kid visiting a distant grandparent and not picking up on the bad blood.
Shes gonna be the type of parent to see photos of her daughters wedding posted by a guest on Instagram and realize she hasn’t heard from her since graduation. Then try to go ape shit only to realize she’s been blocked on everything, and she doesn’t know where the hell sal lives
Praying for this btw
Yeah, I think this is probably for the best for Sal, Linda (and Charles mostly by virtue of complicity) is a repeatedly toxic influence in her life and she really just.. Doesn’t need to put up with that. I’m glad she’s coming to that realization and continuing down the path of living for herself and not for Linda.
…Just really hope this doesn’t end up with her deciding that her relationship with Danny was just something she did for Linda too because I think they have really good chemistry and it’d suck for that outburst yesterday (in comic time) to be prophetic.
Yea, I hope she eventually goes no-contact with her parents and starts healing.
How much is IU tuition fees? I wonder if she’ll be able to be independent from her parents’ financial support.
Despite it’s many flaws, Sal could always apply to FAFSA to help out with tuition payment.
I assume that’s some form of student aid. So she’ll just need to cover living expenses. I’d like to see Sal work (again) in some part-time job.
Always remember: in the US, “financial aid” means “student loans”.
Student loans are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, either.
FAFSA counts your parents’ income and assumes they will be helping pay for your education, even if they have no interest in doing so.
Is it actually possible to apply to a college in the US without filling out the FAFSA application sooner or later? It’s certainly not possible without being urged to do so at least a thousand times.
It is possible, yes. I don’t think paying for tuition is part of the application.
The cost of attending IU Bloomington for one year is about $25,000 for an Indiana resident, including room and board.
https://admissions.indiana.edu/cost-financial-aid/index.html
I doubt she’d break things off with Danny. Sal’s smart enough, and has had enough time to really work through her shit, to realize that Danny is a person who actually just accepts her how she is rather than trying to impose some idea of how he wants her to be.
y’know, i get on jennifer and lucy for being stuck in the high school mind set, but at least they aren’t like 40 years old and moms, my fuckin goodness linda.
ppl do say some ppl never out grow high school but other than having a ‘cushy’ job where you’re an authority figure i’m surprised that kinda behavior wouldn’t be shut down by an acquaintance if not a random stranger who could humble them
We need some kinda (anti) Karen revolution lol
Linda as cool as a cucumber… that fell off a truck in July… on a sidewalk in Kuwait and it broke in half.
Great on Sal though walking away rather then reacting to Linda’s provocation is significant character growth.
Agreed. Good for her.
You know what, I dislike Charles now. He is not just being passive at this point, he either fears Linda or just doesnt care about Sal that much
He’s basically grown up Walky. Not surprising that his spine has trouble staying upright.
He’s been like this the whole time. Despite how terrible Linda has been to Sal to her face, the only time we have ever seen Charles “go against” her was when he talked to Walky a couple strips ago about Amber. He’s completely comfortable signaling to his kids that they have support even if it isn’t from their mother, but we have never once seen him bother to do that for Sal. He’s also shown that he shares Linda’s opinion of Sal to a certain extent (when he was equally shocked that Sal showed up with Danny and not a tattooed punk rocker or whatever).
I genuinely don’t get why people think he’s so much better and/or more redeemable than Linda toward Sal. Linda’s self-righteousness, stubbornness, and emotional reactions just make her attitude more obvious.
two factors come into play here: 1) not being actively awful and mostly keeping quiet leaves some seeing the possibility that he’s thinking positive things he’s not voicing. 2) Hank had a similar dynamic with his wife at first and managed to pull ahead in the parent rankings.
I think the thing to remember with the Hank/Carol dynamic is that Hank normally did get to atleast speak and wasn’t afraid to argue with his wife(admittedly for patriarchal reasons but still) whereas Charles seems to think standing around saying nothing and never voicing an pposing opinion is an acceptable way to parent.
I keep thinking Charles might be about to break ranks with Linda and being disappointed 🙁
I’m sure Sal can emphasize.
Maybe; the conversation with Walky and this moment where he’s noticing things are weird seem like it’s setting up for me the moment where he’s starting to notice and prepare to point out that Linda is a tiger mom.
This. I get the feeling that Charles is only just now beginning to really *See* how Linda interacts with their kids.
I might be giving him the benefit of the doubt but I’m still hoping there’s a redemption arc of some sort for him. Something like Hank/Carol, maybe.
And maybe it’s just wishful thinking. Sal & Walky deserve a parent that actively cares about them.
It took Hank a very, very long time to realize Carol was a monster, I am willing to give Charles the benefit of the doubt that having the kids at college going through changes is starting to make him think about some things. Especially since he’s kind of letting her be the bad cop a lot of the time.
I think Hank actually changed. He and Carol agreed on a lot in their Family Weekend appearance. It was him with the “Hitler was maybe partly Jewish” bit.
He was just willing to listen to Joyce and learn from her.
I think it’s worth noting that Willis quite intentionally contrasted Charles and Linda’s reaction to Sal reminding ’em what she prefers to be called: Charles goes “of course, Sal” and Linda straight up didn’t bother acknowledging it and then kept right on going with “Sally”.
So there’s an authorial intent to show the differences between ’em.
I want to believe so too. And I just looked at the time when Linda said “it’s proof we did right by her.” He looks genuinely pained.
I really feel like Charles is starting to realize that Linda’s bad cop routine is pushing his kids away and all her good intentions are just pissing in the wind.
I’m hoping that Charles’ last-straw moment will lead to him taking charge rather than taking a hike. The thing about wanting peace is that occasionally you have to take it. I really hope this. I want to hear his command voice.
He probably doesn’t see it as an issue since sal hasn’t done anything as “bad” as robbing any more convenience stores even if she got into some fights here and there
Or he secretly agrees with Linda at the back of his head b/c from their point of view, shippnig her off to a catholic boarding school “worked”
Like I said yesterday, Linda sure has shades of Jennifer.
Of the three she probably has the least in common with Walky and the most with Sal, and it’s interesting that the favouritism is inversely correlated like that.
I think she sees a lot of herself in Sal, and buckles down harder on her for it.
It perplexes me that Jennifer acknowledges Linda’s racism and yet acts like it’s the cost of wanting to be popular.
Jennifer thinks that you should be popular at all costs, lest you perish from lack of attention. So is it really that odd that she’d ignore some stuff to stay in good with the parental figures that give her attention?
“of COURSE you would dare to be correct about things.”
People like Linda deserve to be constantly walked away from, in every possible circumstance. Conversations with family, grocery shopping, eating at a restaurant, Uber rides, job interviews, medical care, just make it impossible for them to do anything whatsoever if they can’t be chill for the duration.
Alternative panel 3 Sal response: ‘okay, today’s villainous trait is… racist.’
Nah, Sal made the best choice by walking away, really.
It’s not a debate, there’s not magical sequence of words that will make Linda’s racism vanish. A “discussion” with her is nothing more than a display of HER dominance.
The ass-wad presents a white supremacist game where the stakes are attention, the players are white-passing young adults, the weapons are words, and respect for minorities are bargaining tokens. She is checking whether or not Sal is gonna submit to that game structure. The only winning move is NOT to play.
Just a quick aside: Sal is not white-passing. Passing is a verb, an action, and it requires that you not acknowledge any BIPOC ancestry you have, because you are literally trying to pass yourself off as white. Sal actively does not do this. I know the trend is to call a lot of mixed people “white-passing” to indicate their skin color, but as a mixed person, I promise that “mixed” is complicated enough without using a term that basically says we all want to be white.
I’m hoping that’s not just an argument based on grammar? Because ‘white-passing’ can very much be a passive effect, and it’s not always just skin colour.
If you want to get real grammatical about it, ‘white-passing’ is being used as an adjective. It’s like saying something is ‘green-looking’. Looking is an action, but green-looking is an adjective, because it is an adjective that depicts what the result is (green) when you perform the action (looking).
YUP. Hence the excellent detail in this strip where Sal suddenly changes her accent in the third strip. She giving up on passing white, giving up on her mom, and shifting focus on her own self-respect as a strong, independent woman of color.
Yeah, hi, mixed person here who has been confused for white without trying to do jack shit in my life about it, please get off my case
White isn’t even in my mixedness!
Sal is putting up a lot of red flags, leaving a situation in which she’s treated poorly. She’s the real abuser, here.
Trying your hand at making Imitation Taffy again? :p
It’s getting a little insulting to be repeatedly compared to them. I exist separately and post my own thoughts, and it’s a little dehumanizing to just be “imitation Taffy” for reasons I can’t even figure out.
I’m sorry, I was just trying to continue puns related to cooking mama as well as referencing their style of deadpan I like, didn’t mean for you to feel that way. 🙁
Don’t worry about it. I’m just dealing with some brain shit and I guess it has me a little grumpier than usual.
Brain shit? Are you neurodivergent as well, or do you mean something different?
Either way, it must suck, sorry you dealin with that bruh 😔
More like I’ve been forgetting things. Losing time. Suddenly not remembering where I’m at or how I got there. It’s been disorienting and I’m sorry if I’ve been more of a dick than usual.
Depending on whether those just started coming on suddenly or whether they’ve come up in your life before, it might be worth looking into (maybe even seeing a doctor if they get more serious), those might be symptoms of ADHD or similar, who knows. Either way, take it easy, kay? 🥲
If this is a new symptom, that’s a bit worrying.
Why would it be worrying? A few hours of memory loss a week doesn’t seem so bad in the big picture.
Talk to Laura about it next time they come around here, they deal with TBI and several other neurodivergences and might even point you to a few resources to find out what’s happening.
I would send you some dopamine and serotonin if I could. I’ve had similar issues I understood to be dissociation (not sure if it was related to depression, PTSD, AuDHD combo, or none of the above). Definitely worth tracking it, or talking it through with a head-med person. It can mess with you.
Note: apologies for unsolicited advice, just wanted to send not-alone vibes
Hi buddies,
NG, thanks for the halloo. 🙂
Oracle, I’m sorry you’ve been feeling disoriented and irritated. I hope things work out for you soon.
I would recommend talking with a doctor about the losing time. Many possible sources of it, which I’m not qualified to speculate on. Some are as simple as absent-mindedness or preoccupation. Others could definitely be more serious. Or it could be something easy to fix.
I hope things work out for you OK!
Take good care, Oracle.
Oops! Sorry, NG. D’OH! *Facepalm*
I meant “pals,” not “buddies”. (NG, I know you have trouble with that other word I used. My apologies! Speaking of forgetting… :-/ )
That level of memory loss can be a symptom of epilepsy/seizures or other serious issues in the brain. Getting in to see a doctor can be difficult but it would probably be good to be checked for severe problems.
NG, to apologize for my word slip, here is a delicious caramel recipe:
https://www.craftsy.com/post/salted-caramel-variations/
Awe no worries Laura, happens to the best of us, thanks for apologies and delicious caramel recipe! 😋😊
Thank you for understanding, NG.
In case anyone would like some soothing music, here’s a little jazzy chillhop to relax and focus to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yx6BWlEVcY
I dunno if anyone else is having a hard day, but if you are, you’re not alone.
On the plus side: I had guacamole toast with fried eggs and cheese for breakfast! Yummers! ;-9
Awe damn that sounds good.
In a bit imma have an early dinner, gonna fashion ground turkey, red sauce, salsa roja, onions and ketchup into a neat ample meat sauce on account i forgot to eat all day
autistic hyperfocus where i implemented Ratchet and Clank style rope swings for a platformer game for a code commission, worth it! 😊
Hej folx,
I dunno whether y’all are looking at this old thread or not, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what Oracle said about episodes of missing time. It’s like, where are the lines between daydreaming / flow state / being lost in thought / losing track of time / spacing out / dissociation / intrusive thoughts & images / absence seizures / fugue states / catatonic episodes / withdrawal…
… like, it’s all just “missing time”. It’s all just “being somewhere else”.
I’ve been dealing with that a lot, recently. Like, a whole hour will go by and I won’t even notice it: I’ll just notice that the clock has changed.
Anyway, I stumbled across these 2 websites, which I’m exploring: maybe they might be useful to others as well?
https://timeular.com/blog/losing-track-time/
and this one (TW for child/education setting):
https://autismteachingstrategies.com/uncategorized/autism-and-fantasy-understanding-appreciating-and-helping-young-people-on-the-autism-spectrum-with-their-fantasy-worlds-worksheets-game-illustrated-social-story/
I apologize — I know that references to childhood and schools can be very triggering to some.
It’s just that, sometimes, I feel affected by these absences the way I used to when I was a kid. Like large chunks of time and memory are just MISSING from my day, with no real recollection of what was going on out in objective reality.
So, sometimes, talking to my brain lovingly and tenderly, as if it were a kid itself, or a wiggly impatient puppy dog… sometimes that helps me. So the drawings and such in the “education resources” page are useful to me.
…Anyway, dunno if anyone else is checking this old page, but if they are, here ya go!
I sincerely hope that you’re using confusing pronouns and not saying that Sal is the abuser! It’s been made pretty clear that her parents (especially her mother) are racist, sexist, and maybe classist. I can’t blame Sal AT ALL for noping out of this.
As an example, my Mom really adores my long-term partner. (I have to note that we are all white and I am well aware that I will never be able to fully understand the experience of people of colour, so my viewpoint is limited.). Mom loves being around when Partner is around because they get along very well and he adores her too! BUT oftentimes when I visit Mom I don’t come to visit with Partner (we’ve both got weird work schedules). While Mom is always happy to see Partner, she has NEVER once been upset that it was “only” me visiting. I’m her daughter and she always makes me feel welcome and loved. <3
This is why Mom is a good parent and Linda is NOT. Sal is the one being abused here.
Maybe I should have waited a few days before I tried to make a joke by dropping a completely ridiculous hot take that had no basis in reality. Good Lord.
😮 Ya feeling alright bruh? If you feeling more stressed than usual lately, it might be good to take a break from this place for a few days if ya feel like it’d help.
I did not read your comment as a joke; I sometimes have a hard time figuring out sarcasm and humour online. I am sorry that I did not realize it was a “hot take” and a joke.
I got the joke and found it funny! That said, as much as you might not like it, adding a /s or a /sarcasm at the end can be very helpful. Unfortunately, in my experience, there is no level of “completely ridiculous” that could not plausibly be someone’s beliefs.
I completely agree with everything you just said, except for the word ‘unfortunately. ‘
Fwiw I thought it was obviously sarcasm.
Yeah, even if I didn’t think it was funny (which is just a personal preference), I thought it was obviously enough a joke. Yesterday’s…not so much, when the context made it more important to be clear on that. But, can’t win with everyone.
Hook, line, sinker, and half the rod.
Pray, elaborate.
No.
Linda you’re so close to a breakthrough, you can’t possibly be this thick
I’ve got my fingers crossed that this is a learning experience for her! I often describe myself as a “bleeding-heart, rose-coloured glasses, romantic liberal” because I WANT to believe that people can change. I WANT to believe that there is some good in everyone. I WANT to believe that, ultimately, compassion and empathy and goodness will prevail.
But that’s been a diificult belief for me to maintain since 2016 – I just don’t know anymore. I’m not even sure, for people like Linda, that is about being “thick” – i.e., if I read your comment correctly, not understanding – as it is about just not CARING. 🙁
“The only lasting truth is change” – Octavia Butler
I would recite the entire earthseed chronicals if I could but found one quote that fit the strip today peeeerfectly.
”
A tree Cannot grow In its parents’ shadows.”
“I don’t know how to explain to you why you should care about other people” is one of those quotes that only the people who *don’t* need to hear it understand I guess.
Does it help if I say you’re not alone, in wanting to believe that people can improve? Whether they see the need, or not. Whether they believe it, or not. Whether they work for it, or not.
My way of thinking about it is that anyone can change for the better, but they have to be willing to listen when the call comes.
Not everyone will and you have to learn when to let the hope go and stop torturing yourself holding onto people that want to stay how they are.
It’s pretty clear that all the bad guys in this strip aren’t getting redemption.
“Redemption is a story (if you’ve reproduced)”
Eh?
I’m adding to that really stupid thing Tall Rachel said to Ruth, applying the concept of “Redemption is a story” specifically to parents, as a way of building on what Bryy said.
Mike did.
died*
Nice
Mike?
Mike wasn’t a bad guy.
It’s the narcissism. The closer to an epiphany they get, the tougher their denial armor fights back.
Kind of like that game where you have to shoot a space station with rings of shields around it, and when you destroy a ring they regenerate.
Well, Joyce’s mom is (seemingly?) older and just as stubborn, if not more so, and she doesn’t seem to be turning over a new leaf even after her husband literally leaving her
Unfortunately some ppl refuse to change
https://media.tenor.com/n8HCtKrAtk8AAAAC/what-we-do-in-the-shadows-wwdits.gif Sal should outlive her outta spite just for this lol
Hooray for Sal! 🙂 Now keep on walking, honey. Don’t look back.
Cool antiheroes don’t look back at explosions.
As the song goes:
“Shake off the dust from under your feet.
Keep on walking, baby. Leave them behind.”
Goddamn, that’s harsh. Petition for the arc after this one being nothing but Sal being pampered and uplifted for a few strips in a row.
Next arc is just her and Danny f*cking as the next slipshine 8D;
With all due respect to the ladies in the discussion-
Linda is a bongo and needs to shut her trap.
Speaking as a lady, I want to see her do a header into a vat of farm slurry. I’ve seen too many n!moms like her.
Yeah, she’s a real chatty broad. Why, if I were there, I’d cuff ‘er ’round the ear so hard, the dizzy skirt’d fall through the floorboards. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go smoke a dozen cigarettes and marvel at the concept of television while I listen to the latest Sinatra tune.
(In case anyone is unfamiliar with stereotypes about 50s-adjacent behavior, I was doing a bit.)
Flawless dude impression 😌
Thanks! I thought I was one for 26 years, so I feel like I have a small amount of insight into that state of mind.
This right here is why we need upvotes
I read that in clone high JFKs voice and I want you to know that. It fit perfectly
Panel 6:
“Not another one!”
“No. The last one.”
Honestly I’m really proud of Sal walking away from Linda at this point. She got the confirmation she needed, and that’s honestly the last thing Linda could give her.
I don’t think Walky is going to that Lunch either, which good for Lucy.
Lucy shows up by herself. That would be fun.
“I Ain’t Marching Anymore” starts playing on the hacked musak.
I’m hoping against hope Charles might be catching on but I’m not sure he will.
I have no hope for Linda.
Charles will be one of those parents who will call in advance of each holiday to try to get his estranged kid to come celebrate completely ignoring the reason why they haven’t come back
I hope so too, Charles has always seemed like more of an enabler and unconsciously biased against Sal rather than the total dickwad that is Linda.
Although, just thinking from a narrative perspective, we already have the dynamic of “mother is a demon, father is sorta shitty but putting in effort to be a better person” with Joyce’s parents, so it would be redundant to do it again.
Yeah, the fact Hank learned his lesson and walked away from his marriage, makes it unlikely Charles will do the same. He’ll feel genuinely bad he doesn’t see his kids much, if at all, but he has chosen peace with Linda over them so many times, the kids know he will never choose their side over avoiding being in conflict with her.
He’s one of those ‘says he loves you with words, but never with actions’ types of parents. Where you know they care but they choose X, Y or Z over you time and time again, so you know they’re not safe to rely on.
I’d hope he’d be reasonable
But maybe he stays out of it b/c he’s also exhausted/numbs/he’s never ‘succeeded’ in too long of a temporary truce any times he has gotten involved in the past
Poor Sal. 🙁
And now Linda is in a great mood for when Walky and his companion arrive.
Poor Lucy.
OMG is that still happening, too? After this, Poor Lucy, indeed! 🙁
Mind you, Sal just confirmed that everything about last night was fake including Linda valuing her input on Lucy so maybe it’s better long term for Lucy to see Linda unmasked without the fake acceptance and for Walky to realize he can’t really change his mother’s mind with sitcom schemes.
Hopefully lucy will be fine, depends on how she acted but hopefully linda remembers amber in comparison, or she’ll realize “booster was right, i can do better” b/c even without potential parental drama i don’t think walky’s as “into” lucy as the other way around, at least hesitating around having sex
Great icon lol
And yeah at least she has danny and a few friends. maybe she’ll have a heart to heart with joyce later since hse’d understand
Having a parent like this is truly exhausting. I’m glad Sal is saving herself the effort and walking away from this situation.
You might be feeling not too great right now Sal, but you are going to look back on this moment and this realization as one of the best, most important things that’s ever happened to you.
Okay yeah Linda really is just Billie Senior, isn’t she
“…Mama.
You are NEVER gonna meet mah children, whatever that implies.
Deal with that now, n’stead’a later.”
Did sal ever have a kid in any other iteration of willis’ stories? no disrespect to her or anyone similar but i can’t rly imagine sal having kids even if she does eventually ‘settle’ down and marry danny or someone else (tho “refusing to give me grandchildren” could also be seen as another “stand” lol)
Way to go, Sal.
And that kids is why we have no contact with grandma and grandpa
I’m glad to see that Sal’s coming to terms that her mother’s a horrible person and there’s no winning. When the game’s rigged, it’s best to just walk away.
Hopefully this leads to Charles leaving Linda
That would require him to become vertebrate.
Honestly, I’m of the opinion that he KNOWS of Linda’s… issue.
And he’s been both avoiding it and trying to ineffectually help her for a long time.
well, we can’t say it’s 100% impossible, but if it didn’t happen when linda literally shipped sal away to a boarding school, i don’t think it’d happen now
I was hoping for, “Yesterday was a good day. I hoped today could be, too.” I doubt Linda’s reaction would change significantly, though.
I’m still holding out hope for Charles trying to make amends. He has, at least, referred to Sal as “Sal,” shown that “I’m sorry” is in his vocabulary, and maybe somewhat recognized that the “fight” feels off.
Linda: I am winning this Contest of Emotional Trauma with my daughter, something that is both Normal to want and possible to achieve!
I doubt you’ll get anything from her anymore, Linda
tfw ur squeaky toy don’t squeak no more
Burn that bridge, Sal.
Park a gasoline truck on that brigde and BURN IT.
I think I hate Charles more than Linda. Only by a margin.
I mean, being totally fair, if Charles were going to say something, now is obviously a bad time.
Because he doesn’t get involved or try to stop Linda?
Because it seems like he has NEVER gotten involved or tried to stop Linda. He is endorsing her treatment of Sal either knowingly or is actually too blind to see what she is doing.
He’s just as abusive as she is.
Charles didn’t say a single word when Linda stole Sal’s money. He’s gone.
He’s in the sunken place 😭
You got that wrong, Charles. It wasn’t a fight, it was a test. And you both failed.
If you don’t hate your children it’s actually cool when they outgrow your manipulations.
I have a collection of insane emails from my dad that argue otherwise.
Sounds like a you problem.
Ok, first off, rude.
Secondly I misread this morning and didn’t see the “don’t.”
I don’t really see how my response makes any sense as a response without the misreading. The insult also makes no sense.
Aw, sorry. Little bit of orphan humour on my end.
Sal has actually grown up and given up even trying to get through to Linda, and of course that just pisses Linda off more because it’s more valuable for her to control her kids than to have the moral high ground. How is she getting *worse*
Linda the type of motherfucker to go to a Chinese restaurant and order the Pollo loco, get mad when they tell her that’s not a menu item, demand they make it anyway, and when they accommodate her unreasonable demands, she complains it’s not as good as the one at the Mexican place down the road.
“What the fuck is this?”
“A double hamburger.”
“I ordered a double cheeseburger with no cheese.”
“Yeah, they’re dressed the same. The only difference is the cheese.”
“That’s not what [Name belonging to no employee of the restaurant, past or present] told me last week.”
And then come to find out she’s never eaten at that restaurant before, she’s thinking of one with a completely different name that’s six towns over and the last time she ate there, she was 16 and had ordered a promotional item that didn’t even resemble a double hamburger. But she’s still right.
Moms and customers are always right, and since Linda
stole received money from Sal that was originally earmarked for Marcie’s surgery, she can be both at the same time, achieving previously unachieved levels of being right!That’s how that works, right?
Dang it, I’m usually so good with the html. Just completely forgot to close that tag.
Actually, I read that as both subtle and cutting critique of Linda by use of the crossout to show where she checks out of the conversation because she stopped being told she’s right.
Ooooh I like that. I’ll take it!
OK, saddest part is: grey-stonning Linda won’t make her stop her to be toxic. It’s only will repulse her for a while and making her more angry and stupid.
Yet its the best thing Sal can do for herself right now, avoiding picking fights that will only escalate the tension and cause Sal more emotional grief, keeping her head down, and calmly planning her life in her parents absence is the only somewhat healthy option with a parent like Linda.
*whispers*
My lazy edit alt ending came truuueeeee
https://imgur.com/gallery/PYXZ6E8
Oki doke 😭
You were only off by 2 days!
Sal doesn’t care about her mother’s approval anymore and that is worrying Linda.
Of course it worries her, that’s all her leverage!
Which character in this comic was calling everyone “Fakey”? because I think we found a real fake.
Malaya, but she has also wondered if she’s also fakey, so there’s a lot to unpack there.
I miss her, I’d like her to get an arc.
After using Joe to affirm her femininity, she started wearing a binder to look more boyish. So, yes.
How does Sal keep her neck stable under the weight of all that hair!!?
Her spine gets a lot of exercise.
”Sal and Walky’s father Charles” rhymes with ”spineless secondary abuser” if you squint hard enough
It also scans to the TMNT theme!
That point you realize that fighting with the idiot isn’t worth your time or stress. its sad when it happens with a parrent…then 20 years later they write you out of the will. Ask me how I know…actually don’t, that’s still wasting too much time on them.
You also get kids/siblings who suck up to an aging/ailing parent with the sole intention of getting them to rewrite their will into a favourable division for themselves. Don’t ask me how I know. *wry, but weary smile*
Amazing, she understands that her daughter has problems with how she acts towards her deeply enough to realize she has been set up on some completely intuitive level even though she doesn’t respect her enough to try and form the slightest conscious thought about what those problems may be.
Well, her thinking Sal has “set her up” somehow is already the problem. Linda never does anything wrong, in her mind.
Sal literally just let Linda talk. And decided that she doesn’t want to deal with either of them anymore.
Finally here it is! The magical moment in which months of being Malaya’s roommate led Sal to share her disguste for fake persons and the decision to not tolerate them. But unlike Malaya, Sal reacts with more maturity and walks away without sarcasm and much, sincere, sadness. It’s not a decision that makes you happy, but it’s necessary.
sigh.
Charle: “:Linda, Sal is also trying to steal being the silent one. Are you gonna let that happen?”
🙂
Are the frizzies going to be allowed to stay for good?
Frizzies may rule!
You see that back Linda? Burn it into your memory cause that will be one of the last few memories of your daughter you’ll have after she cuts you out of her life.
The best thing Sal can do for herself is to go no-contact after she graduates.
Or before, if she can work out a way to pay tuition without them.
As long as she doesn’t become some unhinged stalker, i don’t think sal is the type to necessarily hide even if she does ‘run’ and leave but depending on how extreme it gets i wouldn’t be surprised if some ppl have changed their names/images/etc to get away from their family/life etc
Eugh, I HATE when people use ‘being the calm one’ to win an argument. My aunt did that shit to me, I was the one ‘in the wrong’ because I was upset and calling her a bongo, and she was ‘in the right’ because “she wasn’t calling anyone any names” despite the fact that the behavior I was calling her a bongo over was her snapping pictures of my mom(and HER SISTER)’s dead body behind my back. Remember guys, you can do whatever action you want so long as you don’t call anyone any mean names.
Charles, please get a clue and stand up for your daughter.
But if you’re emotionally invested in the thing you’re arguing it’s possible that you could make a less than logical argument, and other such rules that people vaguely remember from debate club.
Remember, kids! Having the nicest suit and the most decorum is OBVIOUSLY more important than, y’know, having a solid logical or moral argument.
The problem is that it often is more important.
In the sense that you will fail to persuade people. It sucks that it works that way, but we are often not rational creatures.
Does it still generally work that way? At least for me, seeing a suit on a lot of circumstances makes me go “eek someone is trying to sell me something, let’s get outta here”.
It is absolutely one of the common ‘types’ of abusers to play the ‘I am a serene person who can do no wrong, viciously being attacked by a hysterical person’ where being calm is used to define the ‘winner’ even if there is no justifiable argument for what they said or did that upset you and them playing the ‘but I’m not shouting’ card just infuriates you further.
I feel like it’s all about being “competent”. Evolution conditioned us to follow the person who looks like they know what they are doing. A calm person who seems in control of the situation seems more preferable to someone who is obviously breaking down.
as someone who breaks down under no pressure but tends to work life like a tetris master when the chips are down, I’m extremely aware of how people’s preconceived notions assume the person with the chillest demeanor must be the most reasonable and believable.
being emotional is normal and being part of humanity and shouldn’t be seen as the ‘weaker’ side unless the emotion manifests into anger and just emotionally/physically lash out
I mean you shouldn’t but conversely you could call someone else a sociopath for being emotionless/robotic in arguments but there’s def something ‘wrong ‘with someone who constantly intitates fights
The Sky Beam on top of the Luxor in Vegas has nothing on Linda’s projection.
Eh, at this point, she’s a cartoon and I’ve accepted it.
I’m always on the side of cutting the cord and going no contact, so for once I’ll be a one saying: heck yeah, Sal
That is how al ot of ppl would handle it tho idk how realistic it is if she’s still in college and they’re presumably paying for college (other than driving her bike and possibly doing deliveries would she be able to have time/energy to do a part time job outside of studies tho?) Be too much of an ex machina even as a joke but too bad carla can’t give everyone a full tuition/free ride scholarship lol
Eh, at this point, she’s a cartoon and I’ve accepted it.
I’m always on the side of cutting the cord and going no contact, so for once I’ll be a one saying: heck yeah, Sal
huh. genuinely do not know why this posted twice. my apologies to anyone this inconveniences.
The messed up thing is that Linda is correct in so far that this is a test Sal sprung on her.
And by reacting to the test she failed.
Is it a test though since Sal didn’t intend it to be so? She basically failed basic common sense and courtesy.
She didn’t intend it to be a test only insofar as the term test implies a realistic chance of passing.
nah the messed up thing is that this has apparently happened enough for linda to recognise it and she still can’t clear the bar of “not actively being a dick”
It’s not really a test in the sense of trying to prove something though like Linda suggests.
It’s more of a test in the sense of poking a dead body with a stick to see if it is alive and not only is it alive, it argues with you about how you made it be alive and you’re a bad person.
The stick in this metaphor being ‘Sal’s presence alone without Danny’ and the dead body being ‘Linda’s racism and horrible behaviour towards her daughter’.
Literally all Sal did was show up without her boyfriend, maybe he has class now, or needed to study for exams, or any number of completely normal reasons a college student wouldn’t be available at any given moment
Any test exists entirely in Linda’s mind
Sal wasn’t testing Linda. She doesn’t need to. She knows how her mom is; she’s seen it all before. What Sal didn’t know was her own feelings. Dinner last night left her confused, did she even want her parent’s affection? Was that even affection at all? She was kind of walking around in a daze. She came today to try and understand how she felt. If they continued to show her love, what would that feel like? Would it even feel good? Or bad? But Linda is all too eager to fight and then cry victim. Sal tries to give her chances to back down, but Linda can’t see them. She can’t see that her daughter is sad, not angry. Sal is maybe moving from hating her parents, to being done with them. There’s a difference.
It might seem a bit like semantics at first, but I think it’s truly important for understanding the motivations of the characters and their mindset.
Giving Linda a test, giving Linda another chance. Two ways to say the same thing, with different tones.
Once again, fuck you linda
This is how it is with parents who only ever gave a shit about looking like a good parent and not being one
Can’t “lose” to your kids that you “own” or you look bad I guess
meet me in the pit linda
Ugh, I was going to say that the whole “terrible mom and useless passive dad combo” seems to have become a trope but then I remembered that it’s happened about twice so it’s not really a trope yet, I guess.
I will say that it’d be great if just ONCE maybe a mom on this strip can get the kind of redemptive arc that Hank seems to be having. Or at least have more to their character than just “various forms of abusive hag.”
I dunno,
Stacy and Blaine would be the opposing example.
As would Toedad.
Though we never really get to see Bonnie.
Becky said he wasn’t so strict while she was alive.
I forget, who is the other passive dad? Joyce’s dad? He divorced the heck out of that woman at least… but I sincerely forget, there are so many characters!!
Perhaps Ethan’s mom and dad?
Honestly i would genuinely like for a Naomi redemption arc. I think it could be good
Blaine was kind of cartoonishly evil and I honestly don’t remember enough about Amber’s mom to remember if she enabled him or not. Don’t remember much about her other than she’s married to Joe’s dad now and they seem to be functional.
Joe’s dad seems to have had a nice redemptive arc, albeit mostly off-screen.
Becky’s dad was terrible; can’t say whether her mom was an enabler because she’s dead.
Walky/Sal’s parents—mom is terrible, dad doesn’t do anything about it
Joyce’s parents—mom is terrible, dad was going along with it until recently (again, with what seems like a good redemptive arc)
I can’t remember much about any of the other parents—I know Dina’s and maybe Dorothy’s parents are pretty benign but they don’t really stand out as a result.
Joyce’s dad has had this whole arc where I’ve seems to be figuring out that “I may have actually been doing wrong in the way I’ve treated my child” and it would be kinda nice, IMO, if someday one of the terrible moms might have that epiphany.
I appreciate you, thanks for going into detail
Amber’s mom wasn’t an enabler that we’ve seen. Blaine hit her and cheated on her. She’s got full custody of Amber, with court-mandated college funding from Blaine — which presumably means she won against him in court before the comic began, trying to get herself and Amber the hell away from their abuser.
She’s rather dotty and naïve, and she’s not cut out to deal with Amber’s advanced issues. But, she loves Amber, means well, and has my undying respect for risking her life (before the comic began) trying to get them both to safety.
Linda is a strong contender for the least likeable character, even though the competition for the spot is fierce.
Holy crap, did Linda get her personality from the same place as my dad? “Oh of course, now *I’m* the bad guy!”
(On that note: Sal deciding to just give up on Linda is probably the healthiest thing she could have done for herself. Certainly for me giving up on my dad ever actually seeing the shit he does was the best thing for me.)
This isn’t Sal saying she’s tired of this conversation. This is Sal announcing that she’s done with both of them. She’s saying she’s going no-contact (or as close to it as she can right now).
Linda is as blind of anything outside of herself as ever, but Dad has a feeling. They’re going to start wondering why she doesn’t return their calls. And why she never comes home when she’s not in school. And then they’ll ask Walky about it who, if Sal and Walky are smart, will tell them that he promised Sal he wouldn’t talk about her with them.
And then they’ll wonder why suddenly WALKY is seeing and talking to them less and less…
The fun part of being asked not to talk to somebody about somebody else is, you get to be badgered about nothing else for the rest of time.
Sals parents never called her to begin with (gave no indication to her they were visiting) so If she’s lucky they won’t notice until the next vacation period where she’s hopefully made other plans. If she’s really lucky Linda will write it off as a temper tantrum and not notice until she’s paid for all of university that she’s been cut out of Sals life permanently.
xAustin is my favorite geographically constrained porn site
Kinda makes one wonder why the Dean dumped her ass some years prior
Linda is a narcissistic twatwaffle.
I have hope for Charles to eventually step up and stand up for his daughter against her emotionally abusive mother.