While that “I don’t know this lady” part may not have been called for entirely,
I just feel so GLAD and RELIEVED to see that a lot of the Chains of the Sunday School that have caused her to neglect her health in the name of religion have been broken!
The last random person I befriended turned out to be racist, fortunately I’m white-passing enough he didn’t know he was talking about me and I could escape. Or he knew and was trying to goad me into something. Either way, I made it out.
The guy before that talked about how he quit a meth (…I think meth) addiction by locking himself in a friend’s basement with the whole “no matter what I say, do not open this door for two weeks” shtick. So you know, the practice has its upsides. That guy was pretty cool.
Former drug abusers usually have a lot of crazy interesting stories to share, and occasionally turn out to be really good people, not just gray or straight up bad.
They’d be perfectly normal citizens were it not for the probably permanent physical consequences of years of drug use, like fucked up skin, dead looking eyes and erratic behavior.
No, I’m on your side on this. Drug abuse isn’t a personal failing, it’s not something to be conditioned as “occasionally they’re good people” or “they’d be perfectly normal citizens,” because they already are good, normal people who for one reason or another fell into something that then started altering how they think and feel. It’s just another social code of conduct we inflict onto the marginalized so we know that the shit hand we’ve dealt them is their fault.
It stops being a choice when it’s an addiction, let alone the constant torrent of judgment from people who have never had to go through it in the first place. I don’t have a debilitating addiction (unless my stopped caffeine binges count as such, which the fact that I went through two weeks of withdrawal and came out no worse for wear should indicate it very much was not), I’ve got someone in my life who has for decades, and that she can’t stop herself from drinking isn’t her choice at this point. It’d be great if she could make choices to prevent herself from making that choice, but that’s another matter.
I apologize. I should have been clearer that typing out “occasionally” as I did was in condemning that thought process.
oh right, sorry i misinterpreted your tone and saw red. i realize my mistake now. But regardless, yeah, whether, or how often drug users are “good people” is just bizarre and irrelevant (not to even mention the “normal citizen” phrase, like that’s something to aspire to).
thanks for swiftly clearing this up, idc about Gash they’re just an edgy troll who get off on ticking people off.
It’s perfectly okay. Let alone that this is such a painful issue for you and you deserve to feel strongly about it, if you think I’m saying something stupid and harmful to people who already have enough stupid, harmful people on their plate, I’d rather you get mad at me because I can either explain myself or realize that I’m contributing to being stupid and harmful.
You deserved to be mad there and you still felt it important to be civil when, for as far as you knew, I really didn’t deserve that civility. It’s nothing to be sorry about, I should have been more thorough and open instead of just being dismissive in a way that made it come off as endorsing that kind of prejudice.
First time commenting, but I’d just like you to know that you’re cool! I admire your stances and the way you articulate your feelings. I wanna be like that one day,,,
Yeaaaahhhhh that’s fair. I love my friends dearly but I don’t know if I’d want them to stay either. If they were okay with it I probably wouldn’t kick them out but they probably wouldn’t want to hang around for that either. XD
A friend who will go with you to the OB/GYN is a real one though. Good job Jennifer <3
I don't know how I want this to work out. My cranky cynical half is saying it'd be more realistic if this doctor wasn't super helpful – lots of folks go upwards of ten years getting any real relief on this crap, and okay, selfish note, it might make me feel a little less crazy about my concerns this'll happen to me when I talk to my own doctor about finding an OB/GYN for this stuff. Buuuuut my 'just want relief' side and my 'Joyce stan' side both want this doctor to be good and kind and pleasant and good at her job. I can dream of a better world can't I? 😛
As someone who has gotten bad cramps since I first started getting them (aka double over in pain, worse than an appendectomy type), and maybe just now in my 30s finally finding meds that may work, I understand. I think that it might be more realistic for them to try 10 different meds or so (at least 3 months per med depending on whether your body decides to reject the meds, which has happened with me where they worked until they didn’t) combined with recommending physical exercise and diet changes to finally work out something that might partially work. It would be nice if it was as simple as one and done. The waiting at least 3 months to see if the meds work is killer though. It can just take that long for your body to adjust to the hormones, for better or for worse.
Yeah, either way I wouldn’t expect all that much improvement THIS cycle. The ship has sailed. The hormones are already flooding her body. Whatever horrifying bullshit lurks within her reproductive system, it is EXTREMELY PROUD of what it has accomplished this time around. This is probably not the ideal time for an internal examination. Here is your heat pack and your NSAID you haven’t tried yet and we hope the next months suck less.
Realistically, dealing with it quickly is more practical for the comic but on the emotional level I dunno what’d be more satisfying for me to see. So I’m gonna accept now it’ll probably be bittersweet no matter what and just be glad Willis put this in his comic period (pun intended).
Normally if you get a prescription pain med for this, it’s some combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen with caffeine. Something that you can do on your own without a prescription if need be. I find that something like icy hot can work for a bit too, at least till the meds start working. Also, oddly enough,
tampons sometimes help with the pain too, though I couldn’t tell you why. Won’t speak much about how cramps can mess with your digestive system other than it happens.
(CW: mention of sexual assault)
I’ve been super afraid of pap smears ever since I had to do one just after I was assaulted a few years ago (got irregular periods after and didn’t realise it was because of the trauma, ended up having a panic attack in the chair, not fun!). But last year I finally managed to do another one! I talked to the doctor about my trauma and asked a friend to come with me and hold my hand. Made sure to wear a big dress so I could shield her from having to see, um, everything, and all in all it was a very positive experience. The doctor kept making jokes as well. I get why someone wouldn’t want to bring a friend into that situation but for me I think it was integral in overcoming that particular fear!
I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad your friend was there for you and I’m sure you’re not the only one who’d feel better with a friend. My thoughts on that are strictly for myself.
Thank you! I’m doing very well now and having good friends around me has been a big part of it. That particular doctor’s appointment with my friend holding my hand lives in my head and my heart as a really, really good memory. Despite the circumstances I truly felt loved and proud of myself in that situation.
Yeah, having a friend or not for support is something that’s very different across people. I’d hate having one there, because my way of dealing with shit is to dissociate, and another human would be something to deal with. But for other people, a friend can be great for exactly what you said.
Tbh, I’d read Joyce as someone who could use a friend there, but what do I know.
Narratively speaking, this has to work, because if it took, say, a week of in-comic time for Joyce’s menstrual cramps to abate, we’d be dealing with it for months of real time.
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. Although her period’s already started this month, so it’d be at least another couple months before we know if whatever she’s taking would help, since it’s not every cycle that’s bad.
There’s got to be some sort of dirty joke I can make about things being inside out outside of a box, and also a common slang term for a cat, but it’s late and I’m tired.
This might be too advanced for Walky – or maybe not given that Dorothy gave him some guidance – but a really fun missionary variant involves the bottom’s legs folding back towards the chest so that instead of legs spread legs are resting upon the top’s shoulders.
Most of my tips are g-spot related cause that’s what works for me, so other mileages may vary, but legs resting on shoulders is great for g-spot stimulation.
Billie: “You know what you’re doing right?”
Walky (smug) “Oh yeah. I’ve done it before.”
Billie: “with Dorothy? SNORT. Allow me.” (proceeds to place herself as Rose suggests) (no shade to Dorothy) (but Billie wouldn’t know how competent Dorothy is, but would straight-up assume she’s better)
I forget this is still a common reaction for many people in this scenario. When you have a chronic illness you get so used to being examined that you just…stop thinking about it. At this point I’m just like the Vitruvian Man, like “here is my body, do what you gotta do.”
Same here, I have two messed up hips, one is bad muscles (scars from the repair that have gotten tight over the years) the other is from trying to stick my knee in my ear when I was in my 50’s. Both knees have been bad since my late teens, but lately my kneecaps have gotten so bad as to impede my sex life, they really need to go.
Oof I sympathize. I had 2 hip surgeries before 30. Now my hip is acting up yet again and my knee likes to dislocate every time I try to take a single step without wearing a brace.
Ahhh joints.
Relatable for even non-chronic issues too, for me anyway! I had a massive back abscess last year and by the end of the whole three-months ordeal of healing it I got pretty comfortable with being basically topless while people measured, photographed, and poked me. The response to ‘is it okay if I-‘ was like ‘yup, go to town, medical professional.’
Yeah, I’m pretty blasé about being examined. I’m just like, whatever, they’re medical professionals, my body is only interesting to them in the context of whether stuff is working as intended or not. (Helps that I’m extremely ace and have no history of medical or sexual trauma, probably, but I think some of it is just my personality.) I was in my thirties before I was comfortable changing underwear in front of my sister, but when the surgeon who fixed my broken shoulder was politely asking me if he could lift my shirt sleeve to check on the staples, I was like “go to town, man” and I would not have blinked if my boob fell out of the shirt in the process, even though I was not wearing a bra at the time. (Very hard to put on a bra with a broken shoulder.)
Yeah weirdly I am actually really tense about being touched in any other scenario. I don’t even like to be hugged by friends (no traumatic reason, I’m just small and people thought that meant it was okay to pick me up with zero warning all the way through my 20s).
But I’m just so used to medical procedures at this point that it’s like a switch flips and my brain goes into “medical appointment mode” and I become an anatomy class practice dummy.
Nudity doesn’t really bother me either. I’m more like…I don’t want to make OTHER people uncomfortable, but I’ve sat through so much figure drawing class at this point that naked bodies are like a bowl of fruit still life to me.
Yep. I’m calm, cool, totally fine, do whatever you need, riiiiight up until my brain can no longer dissociate far enough to cover up my awareness of an emotional flashback…
I don’t go to the doctor very often but there’s nothing like a doctor visit to make me realize how many areas on my body I actually feel uncomfortable being touched.
Huggers baffle me. They approach and my brain replays the “no touchy” parts from Emperor’s New Groove. There’s an access control list for getting that close to me, and you ain’t in that user group.
This might imply that Joyce has ne ver in her life been to an OB/GYN, and while that is completely plausible uh….what exactly was her parent’s plan here? Like this is totally on them, Joyce is 18. She should have been taken to see one at least once by now. Was she just supposed to figure out all her women’s health issues by herself?
Who knows. I’ll be honest I’ve had VERY few doctor’s visits in my life, and to be fair I’m sure it’s very different for women I often think “is it ok that I got checkups like…once every 5 years or so?”
(Not having insurance sucks. And yeah I’m aware, American Health Care in general is super dumb. )
I’d say a checkup at least once a year even if it’s just a walk in exam, but America is so fucked with our for profit healthcare system that I can’t judge anyone for how often they see a doctor. I’m lucky to live in California and have a pre-existing condition so most of my medical expenses get covered even if there are a lot of insurance hoops to jump through.
I was on CA Medicaid for a while. It took them five flingin’ flangin’ months to get me an appointment with a Podiatrist, and even then they were basically no help about my chronic foot pain.
OTOH, when they decided I needed a Coronary Artery Bypass, they had me in and up on the table in a week and a half and covered everything 100%.
That’s because they could bill for anesthesiologist, the surgeon, the OR, all the supplies, follow-up medications… A big fat check where they can make up whatever price they want and just bill it to insurance because they’ll pay without blinking!
Chronic foot pain isn’t a big payday for the hospital, at most they’ll only get the cost of a few office visits and a set of orthotic insoles out of you. (Although anecdotally, going the opposite direction with thin, non-padded shoes might be more helpful. At least it is for me. I can’t stand uber-padded, comfy-smoosh shoes, it feels like the ground is constantly moving under you like walking on a mattress.)
Here in the Netherlands I usually only go to the doctor to talk about some specific issue I’m experiencing, not to get checked up for the check up’s sake. Apparently Dutch adults see their GP five times a year, on average.
I have the idea that Carol probably has a doctor for her issues but simply never introduced Joyce to her because rules are for her children but not her.
Unless there’s a specific issue with the hormonal/reproductive system, I think 18 is generally the first time most women see a gynecologist for the first time. Maybe it depends on access to health care or the insurance plan that won’t allow OB/GYN visits until a certain age. [America, go figure.] But if Joyce’s cycles were this screwed up when she was younger, her mom should have taken her to see a doctor.
I’m a man but even I had my goods looked at around that age. I personally think 18 is just barely acceptable but it implies parental neglect to me. Maybe a doctor can chime in if there’s one in the comments but I think the Browns dropped the ball on this one. Not just Carol either, Hank could’ve done it. He is a lesser Hank for not doing so.
Maybe Joyce’s experiences fall in line with Carol’s, and her mother’s, so it’s multi-generational “this is just how they are and that’s the way it is”.
Yeah, I can’t remember enough to be sure but since my cramps could be managed with OTC stuff and heating pads and we all figured ‘yeah it’s endometriosis but it’s a crapshoot where that stuff grows, let’s not worry about it until it’s an issue’ I think I only saw an OB/GYN at 18, even with supportive parents. Might be a different case if you’re sexually active before then, theoretically? (If your PCP can’t do a pap smear, if nothing else, though that is very much dependent on whether or not your given teenager is safely able to get to an OB/GYN because some fucking parents. I recall when the HPV vaccine was first being rolled out and the uproar involved.)
But younger teens also tend to have more erratic periods and cramps as I recall, so I could see even a supportive parent being told to try OTC painkillers and heat and see if it evens out in a couple years before they take their kid into the OB/GYN.
I’ve had multiple pcps and ob/gyns tell me as long as there’s no issues (like Joyce’s), there’s no real reason to have an ob/gyn appointment before you’re sexually active. They always say the “official recommendations” say you should go every year after like age 17 or something, but that’s just because it’s close to the average age women become sexually active. As long as there’s no reason to expect the patient might not feel safe admitting to sexual activity, there’s no need to do an exam.
Yeah, and if you start menstruating closer to the 12-13 end of the range than the 10-11 end, even if you have issues I can see a doctor saying to hold off for a bit longer even once you’re in high school because it can take a bit after onset of menarche to stabilize.
And since both pap smears (which are actually recommended to start at 21, either I forgot or that’s relatively new guidance compared to when I was Joyce’s age) and pelvic exams can be so physically uncomfortable or painful, even for people whose reproductive organs AREN’T a body cavity full of screaming and cysts, yeah, OB/GYNs will wave you by when they can.
I asked about that a few years ago because I hadn’t had one (my family is notoriously bad about yearly checkups and such, yes, I’m no exception so far) and was told I didn’t need one because I wasn’t sexually active.
I didn’t think that sounded right but wasn’t sure off the top of my head to dispute it. Went home and checked and yeah, I was supposed to.
I know basically nothing about when such visits are recommended or when they should be, but I’d think that if “when you become sexually active” is really the criteria, they should set the recommended age lower than “average”, since a lot of parents won’t know that their girls are sexually active and the kids generally won’t want to tell them in order to get an appointment.
I’m 26 and haven’t seen one yet for a variety of reasons. My first doctor wanted to try a few things first and they helped significantly but he died before he thought I was ready for an OB/GYN. He probably could’ve got me on the pill but I was on seizure meds at that point and I was SO wary of being on more. Then my new doctor I only saw for a year or so before she left and then I was in university and only really saw a doctor if I was sick and by that point I just didn’t classify it as urgent enough to demand attention. Was it debilitating? Sure, but some combo of ‘periods suck’, ‘I can haul my ass around’, ‘I’m busy with school’ and sheer utter laziness (and, okay, no small part of ‘what if they’re not helpful’) and the fact I didn’t know him super well kept me from bringing it up. I was getting ready to before the pandemic showed up and shut down a Lot of specialist referrals for a while. So now here I am at 26, having been dealing with this for 17 years now and not having seen an OB/GYN. Not for other people’s lack of caring and just….very long timing issues and not really having the push to go fix it.
Dealing with menstrual trouble isn’t the only reason to have a gynecological appointment. You need to get yourself a smear test regularly to check for signs of cervical cancers, HPV, and other STDs while you’re there. Gynecologists are there for general reproductive health, not only to deal with difficult periods.
I think, as soon as you feel comfortable, you should bite the bullet and go. The appointments are usually very quick, and there can be some mild discomfort/pain while they’re scraping your cervix, but that part is over fast enough. If you’re sexually active, then regular STD tests are a great idea and can often be sorted out at the same time.
??? She’s allowed to be uncomfortable about something her family/community told her was a sin for her entire life. I swear the lack of empathy for Joyce, during an appointment that isn’t usually fun/comfy even under the best circumstances, is way out of proportion in this comments section.
Who the hell wants their friend to watch them get a physical examination like that? There are some people like that, maybe I’d be one of them, but are we really gonna pretend that her being uncomfortable deserves a “for fucks sakes”?????
For the Kickstarter Doodle: You know I almost voted Joe but then I thought about it and SPITE propelled me to pick Booster. Sorry Joe. Better luck next year.
Did you know that “Kaur” is to Sikh women as “Singh” is to Sikh men? Most Sikh men have the last name “Singh,” and most Sikh women have the last name “Kaur,” even if they are in the same family.
Princess and Lion respectively. but since that doesn’t tell you much, let me briefly quote wikipedia:
Male Sikhs generally have Singh (‘lion’) as their middle or last name, though not all Singhs are necessarily Sikhs; likewise, female Sikhs have Kaur (‘princess’) as their middle or last name.
The word “Singh” is derived from the Sanskrit word siṃha meaning “lion”, and is used in the sense “hero” or “eminent person”.
The adoption of Kaur and Singh as religious surnames was also intended to reduce caste-based prejudice. Because familial last names often signal a person’s caste status (or for women who adopted their spouse’s surname, the caste of their spouse), substituting Kaur and Singh allowed Sikhs to implement the Sikh religion’s rejection of the caste system.
The surname ‘Singh’ … is also found among the Indian diaspora. For example, taking advantage of the fact that there was no reliable way to ascertain a person’s caste, some of the low-caste Indian indentured labourers brought to British Guiana adopted the surname “Singh”, claiming to be Kshatriyas.
Kaur (“Crown Prince”) is a surname given to women of the Sikh faith and some Hindu women. “Kaur” is also sometimes translated as “lioness”, not because this meaning is etymologically derived from the name, but as a parallel to the Sikh male name “Singh,” which means “lion.” “Kaur” is recognized as “Princess” or “Spiritual Princess”.
It goes back to the Sanskrit word “Kumari” meaning girl or daughter.
According to early sources, Kaur was given to both males and females in Punjab.
don’t know how well they’re likely to be paid but i would say being empathetic and mindful of patients’ insecurities is (or should be) part of the job description?
Enough to assist a young woman with her first visit? I assure you that Joyce isn’t the only woman who has ever had anxiety about their first vaginal exam.
I mean I’m not the only one who thinks specifying that she’s her “very close friend” after just being called her friend sounds to an outside observer who doesn’t know them like someone chaffing a little at hiding their romantic relationship am I?
having heard a few stories of homophobia or crass ignorance from GPs and OBGYNs, i wouldn’t be so sure.
(calling a friend irresponsible for not using fertility control even after being told they’re in a stable relationship with a cis woman, telling another friend that they don’t need a pap smear if they only have female partners, etc.)
This is it Joyce, that what your parents warn you might hapen in big city, but you dont listen. Now you will loose your Rose for strange lady in labcoat
So Jennifer will wait outside leaving the door a little open for any emergency? Make sense! Her presence during her visit would have been very weird. Although, seeing her hold Joyce’s hand all the time would have been sweet.
Is this a free clinic of some sort? If not, I’m worried for Joyce’s wallet. American hospitals, much like every single other thing in America these days, are a busted up machine designed to squeeze as much money out of consumers as possible, with as little stock used as they can physically manage.
Definitely not bitter and disillusioned with healthcare in general.
Me to my best friend ever in the whole wide world: “You need to go.”
“But Abel, we’re just here to look at the mole on your arm.”
“Yeah. Out. Vamoose. Amscray. Raus.”
And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech betrayeth thee.
Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew.
I’m supposed to be getting an annual mammogram because I have a boob full of lumps, but I don’t because I’m a guy and it makes the rest of the patients uncomfortable, plus when they try to put the lumpy boob between the plates they usually grab the pectoral muscle and that hurts like hell.
I have not tried them myself, as I had found my own amazing care providers, but I do have a couple friends who found this or providers they were referred to through this as helpful. I believe somewhere on Dr Momma Jones YouTube she also links lists of alphabet mafia providers. Not going to presume your intersections, but providers with these outward steps for inclusion often have supportive waiting rooms for patients regardless of your identity and more tailored prognosis instead of it being “a man getting woman’s care or whatever.” You should be able to get YOU care.
Sorry if this is over stepping. This stuff is super important to me becsuse I wasn’t able to get proper diagnosis for years due to all of my stuff being “normally male-linked” problems. They kept trying to shove me in these weird rare boxes versus just broadening expectations a little. I have permanent health issues due to not having this figured out for a decade. Please keep trying, as you have only one meat-suit to navigate the world in. Honestly, showing up and living well will piss off the people giving you the side eye more than anything else you can do.
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While that “I don’t know this lady” part may not have been called for entirely,
I just feel so GLAD and RELIEVED to see that a lot of the Chains of the Sunday School that have caused her to neglect her health in the name of religion have been broken!
🤘🥹🤘 😌😌😌
*plays “Spirit Bomb Theme” from Dragon Ball Music CD on hacked muzak*
me at every pap smear and/or mammogram
I hate my yearly abyss gazing…
But does it gaze back into the doctor?
A nonbinary never tells. 😏
There are a lot of people in this world you don’t know. That’s why it’s important to go out, enjoy life, and make a connection with another human!
Naw, fuck all them humans. I’m staying in my room.
Or Yeah, fuck all them humans in my room.
I’ve done that already.
It’s appropriate that all the above replies are of Carla.
All? It is too much!
You can’t even fuck just the hot ones, unless your standards are very high indeed.
— Cribbed from Oglaf
Exactly.
Sometimes the comment and the avatar line up juuust right.
Carla’s a smart woman.
But the downside to that is that they’re humans. Humans are the WORST.
Just give me an oversized (~50 lbs) lapdog or three and I’m good.
That sounds like a good way to lose your purse.
I like those connections to be made while I’m not in the “scoot down a little and relax” position.
The last random person I befriended turned out to be racist, fortunately I’m white-passing enough he didn’t know he was talking about me and I could escape. Or he knew and was trying to goad me into something. Either way, I made it out.
The guy before that talked about how he quit a meth (…I think meth) addiction by locking himself in a friend’s basement with the whole “no matter what I say, do not open this door for two weeks” shtick. So you know, the practice has its upsides. That guy was pretty cool.
Former drug abusers usually have a lot of crazy interesting stories to share, and occasionally turn out to be really good people, not just gray or straight up bad.
They’d be perfectly normal citizens were it not for the probably permanent physical consequences of years of drug use, like fucked up skin, dead looking eyes and erratic behavior.
“Occasionally.”
hey now.
let’s cool it with the toxicophobia folks.
…not just saying that because i’ve lost a very dear friend to drug abuse recently. but it does feel extra hurtful. i’m just gonna stop typing now
No, I’m on your side on this. Drug abuse isn’t a personal failing, it’s not something to be conditioned as “occasionally they’re good people” or “they’d be perfectly normal citizens,” because they already are good, normal people who for one reason or another fell into something that then started altering how they think and feel. It’s just another social code of conduct we inflict onto the marginalized so we know that the shit hand we’ve dealt them is their fault.
It stops being a choice when it’s an addiction, let alone the constant torrent of judgment from people who have never had to go through it in the first place. I don’t have a debilitating addiction (unless my stopped caffeine binges count as such, which the fact that I went through two weeks of withdrawal and came out no worse for wear should indicate it very much was not), I’ve got someone in my life who has for decades, and that she can’t stop herself from drinking isn’t her choice at this point. It’d be great if she could make choices to prevent herself from making that choice, but that’s another matter.
I apologize. I should have been clearer that typing out “occasionally” as I did was in condemning that thought process.
oh right, sorry i misinterpreted your tone and saw red. i realize my mistake now. But regardless, yeah, whether, or how often drug users are “good people” is just bizarre and irrelevant (not to even mention the “normal citizen” phrase, like that’s something to aspire to).
thanks for swiftly clearing this up, idc about Gash they’re just an edgy troll who get off on ticking people off.
It’s perfectly okay. Let alone that this is such a painful issue for you and you deserve to feel strongly about it, if you think I’m saying something stupid and harmful to people who already have enough stupid, harmful people on their plate, I’d rather you get mad at me because I can either explain myself or realize that I’m contributing to being stupid and harmful.
You deserved to be mad there and you still felt it important to be civil when, for as far as you knew, I really didn’t deserve that civility. It’s nothing to be sorry about, I should have been more thorough and open instead of just being dismissive in a way that made it come off as endorsing that kind of prejudice.
thank you Spence. <3
First time commenting, but I’d just like you to know that you’re cool! I admire your stances and the way you articulate your feelings. I wanna be like that one day,,,
Yeaaaahhhhh that’s fair. I love my friends dearly but I don’t know if I’d want them to stay either. If they were okay with it I probably wouldn’t kick them out but they probably wouldn’t want to hang around for that either. XD
A friend who will go with you to the OB/GYN is a real one though. Good job Jennifer <3
I don't know how I want this to work out. My cranky cynical half is saying it'd be more realistic if this doctor wasn't super helpful – lots of folks go upwards of ten years getting any real relief on this crap, and okay, selfish note, it might make me feel a little less crazy about my concerns this'll happen to me when I talk to my own doctor about finding an OB/GYN for this stuff. Buuuuut my 'just want relief' side and my 'Joyce stan' side both want this doctor to be good and kind and pleasant and good at her job. I can dream of a better world can't I? 😛
As someone who has gotten bad cramps since I first started getting them (aka double over in pain, worse than an appendectomy type), and maybe just now in my 30s finally finding meds that may work, I understand. I think that it might be more realistic for them to try 10 different meds or so (at least 3 months per med depending on whether your body decides to reject the meds, which has happened with me where they worked until they didn’t) combined with recommending physical exercise and diet changes to finally work out something that might partially work. It would be nice if it was as simple as one and done. The waiting at least 3 months to see if the meds work is killer though. It can just take that long for your body to adjust to the hormones, for better or for worse.
Yeah, either way I wouldn’t expect all that much improvement THIS cycle. The ship has sailed. The hormones are already flooding her body. Whatever horrifying bullshit lurks within her reproductive system, it is EXTREMELY PROUD of what it has accomplished this time around. This is probably not the ideal time for an internal examination. Here is your heat pack and your NSAID you haven’t tried yet and we hope the next months suck less.
Also, my sympathies to both of you. Yaaaay, Menstrual Agony Club, the worst club to belong to. T_T
Isn’t it just a fucking PEACH?
My sympathies to both of you lovelies as well.
Realistically, dealing with it quickly is more practical for the comic but on the emotional level I dunno what’d be more satisfying for me to see. So I’m gonna accept now it’ll probably be bittersweet no matter what and just be glad Willis put this in his comic period (pun intended).
I’ve never been completely happy being a man, but now I’m glad I’m not a woman.
#NotAllMen… have penises =P
Menstruating or not has nothing to do with gender. Plenty of men are in the Menstrual Agony Club – and plenty of women aren’t.
Normally if you get a prescription pain med for this, it’s some combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen with caffeine. Something that you can do on your own without a prescription if need be. I find that something like icy hot can work for a bit too, at least till the meds start working. Also, oddly enough,
tampons sometimes help with the pain too, though I couldn’t tell you why. Won’t speak much about how cramps can mess with your digestive system other than it happens.
(CW: mention of sexual assault)
I’ve been super afraid of pap smears ever since I had to do one just after I was assaulted a few years ago (got irregular periods after and didn’t realise it was because of the trauma, ended up having a panic attack in the chair, not fun!). But last year I finally managed to do another one! I talked to the doctor about my trauma and asked a friend to come with me and hold my hand. Made sure to wear a big dress so I could shield her from having to see, um, everything, and all in all it was a very positive experience. The doctor kept making jokes as well. I get why someone wouldn’t want to bring a friend into that situation but for me I think it was integral in overcoming that particular fear!
I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad your friend was there for you and I’m sure you’re not the only one who’d feel better with a friend. My thoughts on that are strictly for myself.
Thank you! I’m doing very well now and having good friends around me has been a big part of it. That particular doctor’s appointment with my friend holding my hand lives in my head and my heart as a really, really good memory. Despite the circumstances I truly felt loved and proud of myself in that situation.
I’m so glad! Friends like that are the real ones.
Yeah, having a friend or not for support is something that’s very different across people. I’d hate having one there, because my way of dealing with shit is to dissociate, and another human would be something to deal with. But for other people, a friend can be great for exactly what you said.
Tbh, I’d read Joyce as someone who could use a friend there, but what do I know.
Narratively speaking, this has to work, because if it took, say, a week of in-comic time for Joyce’s menstrual cramps to abate, we’d be dealing with it for months of real time.
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. Although her period’s already started this month, so it’d be at least another couple months before we know if whatever she’s taking would help, since it’s not every cycle that’s bad.
schrodinger’s friendship
There’s got to be some sort of dirty joke I can make about things being inside out outside of a box, and also a common slang term for a cat, but it’s late and I’m tired.
Hey at least it’s not gonna come after you like a Weeping Angel 😅
https://i.imgur.com/GL3eXSP.png (NSFW)
Switching up the flow a bit. Keeping it loose cuz dynamic poses are hard!
Story so far…
https://imgur.com/a/9Ob1cy3 (NSFW)
And my ship continues to sail on the Fan Fiction Sea.
Sail?! That first panel’s looking more like a motorboat! brp brup brup brap brap brap brap.
Like thakoru said above, sometimes the comment and the avatar just match.
🤩 Yeah, love that action!
Really reminds me of the one with Billy and Ruth, but this is even better ’cause there’s more smiling! 🥰
😃 loving it already!
Ah, going missionary are we?
This might be too advanced for Walky – or maybe not given that Dorothy gave him some guidance – but a really fun missionary variant involves the bottom’s legs folding back towards the chest so that instead of legs spread legs are resting upon the top’s shoulders.
Most of my tips are g-spot related cause that’s what works for me, so other mileages may vary, but legs resting on shoulders is great for g-spot stimulation.
suggested:
Billie: “You know what you’re doing right?”
Walky (smug) “Oh yeah. I’ve done it before.”
Billie: “with Dorothy? SNORT. Allow me.” (proceeds to place herself as Rose suggests) (no shade to Dorothy) (but Billie wouldn’t know how competent Dorothy is, but would straight-up assume she’s better)
Haha For no reason at all, I’d also assume she’s better.
That sounds pretty fun and hot. I may give it a try!
I forget this is still a common reaction for many people in this scenario. When you have a chronic illness you get so used to being examined that you just…stop thinking about it. At this point I’m just like the Vitruvian Man, like “here is my body, do what you gotta do.”
I can relate to this one. I have a heart condition, and once you’ve had a few major surgeries you kind of lose that sense of shame.
“These extra limbs are causing a problem, are you sure you need them?”
Better to have a third leg and not need it, than to need one and not have it.
But the fourth one can go.
tbh I could use an extra leg at this point. At least one of the ones I currently have refuses to work properly.
Same here, I have two messed up hips, one is bad muscles (scars from the repair that have gotten tight over the years) the other is from trying to stick my knee in my ear when I was in my 50’s. Both knees have been bad since my late teens, but lately my kneecaps have gotten so bad as to impede my sex life, they really need to go.
Oof I sympathize. I had 2 hip surgeries before 30. Now my hip is acting up yet again and my knee likes to dislocate every time I try to take a single step without wearing a brace.
Ahhh joints.
Relatable for even non-chronic issues too, for me anyway! I had a massive back abscess last year and by the end of the whole three-months ordeal of healing it I got pretty comfortable with being basically topless while people measured, photographed, and poked me. The response to ‘is it okay if I-‘ was like ‘yup, go to town, medical professional.’
Yeah, I’m pretty blasé about being examined. I’m just like, whatever, they’re medical professionals, my body is only interesting to them in the context of whether stuff is working as intended or not. (Helps that I’m extremely ace and have no history of medical or sexual trauma, probably, but I think some of it is just my personality.) I was in my thirties before I was comfortable changing underwear in front of my sister, but when the surgeon who fixed my broken shoulder was politely asking me if he could lift my shirt sleeve to check on the staples, I was like “go to town, man” and I would not have blinked if my boob fell out of the shirt in the process, even though I was not wearing a bra at the time. (Very hard to put on a bra with a broken shoulder.)
Yeah weirdly I am actually really tense about being touched in any other scenario. I don’t even like to be hugged by friends (no traumatic reason, I’m just small and people thought that meant it was okay to pick me up with zero warning all the way through my 20s).
But I’m just so used to medical procedures at this point that it’s like a switch flips and my brain goes into “medical appointment mode” and I become an anatomy class practice dummy.
Nudity doesn’t really bother me either. I’m more like…I don’t want to make OTHER people uncomfortable, but I’ve sat through so much figure drawing class at this point that naked bodies are like a bowl of fruit still life to me.
Yep. I’m calm, cool, totally fine, do whatever you need, riiiiight up until my brain can no longer dissociate far enough to cover up my awareness of an emotional flashback…
‘Feel free to manipulate me however. My muscles are just tense like that by default, if you can get em to relax show me how.’
I don’t go to the doctor very often but there’s nothing like a doctor visit to make me realize how many areas on my body I actually feel uncomfortable being touched.
Yeah, even outside doctor visits…
Huggers baffle me. They approach and my brain replays the “no touchy” parts from Emperor’s New Groove. There’s an access control list for getting that close to me, and you ain’t in that user group.
Well, hopefully Jennifer doesn’t take that one too personally.
I don’t know her
~Joyce; probably
Does anyone think that Joyce will deny Jennifer two more times?
and that’s the comment I came looking for.
Before the cock crows.
I don’t think crows have that particular bit of anatomy~
huh! they don’t?
I looked it up, and they don’t. It’s rare for a bird to have a penis.
oh wow yeah i didn’t realize that. turns out they just sort of smooch cloacas. hah! birds!
Unless they do have penises, in which case they can get into some pretty weird shapes, as in ducks.
Ah yes, the famous Duck Corkscrew
which SOUNDS like it should be a mixed drink, but isn’t
Did they have supper already? And where is the girl with the moneybag to pay the doctor?
“Girl with the moneybag”
Well, Jennifer’s right there…
This entire thread has me chuckling.
Poor Joyce. I’m not that easily embarrassed anymore, at least with doctors, but when I was Joyce’s age? Yup.
Also, what’s Jennifer going to do, just wait outside?
I think it is customary for some humans to do that, right?
Nah, her work here is done. She’s leaving right before the expected fireworks. Good plan.
This might imply that Joyce has ne ver in her life been to an OB/GYN, and while that is completely plausible uh….what exactly was her parent’s plan here? Like this is totally on them, Joyce is 18. She should have been taken to see one at least once by now. Was she just supposed to figure out all her women’s health issues by herself?
Who knows. I’ll be honest I’ve had VERY few doctor’s visits in my life, and to be fair I’m sure it’s very different for women I often think “is it ok that I got checkups like…once every 5 years or so?”
(Not having insurance sucks. And yeah I’m aware, American Health Care in general is super dumb. )
I’d say a checkup at least once a year even if it’s just a walk in exam, but America is so fucked with our for profit healthcare system that I can’t judge anyone for how often they see a doctor. I’m lucky to live in California and have a pre-existing condition so most of my medical expenses get covered even if there are a lot of insurance hoops to jump through.
I was on CA Medicaid for a while. It took them five flingin’ flangin’ months to get me an appointment with a Podiatrist, and even then they were basically no help about my chronic foot pain.
OTOH, when they decided I needed a Coronary Artery Bypass, they had me in and up on the table in a week and a half and covered everything 100%.
That’s because they could bill for anesthesiologist, the surgeon, the OR, all the supplies, follow-up medications… A big fat check where they can make up whatever price they want and just bill it to insurance because they’ll pay without blinking!
Chronic foot pain isn’t a big payday for the hospital, at most they’ll only get the cost of a few office visits and a set of orthotic insoles out of you. (Although anecdotally, going the opposite direction with thin, non-padded shoes might be more helpful. At least it is for me. I can’t stand uber-padded, comfy-smoosh shoes, it feels like the ground is constantly moving under you like walking on a mattress.)
Here in the Netherlands I usually only go to the doctor to talk about some specific issue I’m experiencing, not to get checked up for the check up’s sake. Apparently Dutch adults see their GP five times a year, on average.
I have the idea that Carol probably has a doctor for her issues but simply never introduced Joyce to her because rules are for her children but not her.
Unless there’s a specific issue with the hormonal/reproductive system, I think 18 is generally the first time most women see a gynecologist for the first time. Maybe it depends on access to health care or the insurance plan that won’t allow OB/GYN visits until a certain age. [America, go figure.] But if Joyce’s cycles were this screwed up when she was younger, her mom should have taken her to see a doctor.
I thought it was 16.
I’m a man but even I had my goods looked at around that age. I personally think 18 is just barely acceptable but it implies parental neglect to me. Maybe a doctor can chime in if there’s one in the comments but I think the Browns dropped the ball on this one. Not just Carol either, Hank could’ve done it. He is a lesser Hank for not doing so.
They probably knew 99% of the diagnoses would mean birth control and decided it wasn’t worth going.
Maybe Joyce’s experiences fall in line with Carol’s, and her mother’s, so it’s multi-generational “this is just how they are and that’s the way it is”.
Yeah, I can’t remember enough to be sure but since my cramps could be managed with OTC stuff and heating pads and we all figured ‘yeah it’s endometriosis but it’s a crapshoot where that stuff grows, let’s not worry about it until it’s an issue’ I think I only saw an OB/GYN at 18, even with supportive parents. Might be a different case if you’re sexually active before then, theoretically? (If your PCP can’t do a pap smear, if nothing else, though that is very much dependent on whether or not your given teenager is safely able to get to an OB/GYN because some fucking parents. I recall when the HPV vaccine was first being rolled out and the uproar involved.)
But younger teens also tend to have more erratic periods and cramps as I recall, so I could see even a supportive parent being told to try OTC painkillers and heat and see if it evens out in a couple years before they take their kid into the OB/GYN.
I’ve had multiple pcps and ob/gyns tell me as long as there’s no issues (like Joyce’s), there’s no real reason to have an ob/gyn appointment before you’re sexually active. They always say the “official recommendations” say you should go every year after like age 17 or something, but that’s just because it’s close to the average age women become sexually active. As long as there’s no reason to expect the patient might not feel safe admitting to sexual activity, there’s no need to do an exam.
Yeah, and if you start menstruating closer to the 12-13 end of the range than the 10-11 end, even if you have issues I can see a doctor saying to hold off for a bit longer even once you’re in high school because it can take a bit after onset of menarche to stabilize.
And since both pap smears (which are actually recommended to start at 21, either I forgot or that’s relatively new guidance compared to when I was Joyce’s age) and pelvic exams can be so physically uncomfortable or painful, even for people whose reproductive organs AREN’T a body cavity full of screaming and cysts, yeah, OB/GYNs will wave you by when they can.
I asked about that a few years ago because I hadn’t had one (my family is notoriously bad about yearly checkups and such, yes, I’m no exception so far) and was told I didn’t need one because I wasn’t sexually active.
I didn’t think that sounded right but wasn’t sure off the top of my head to dispute it. Went home and checked and yeah, I was supposed to.
I know basically nothing about when such visits are recommended or when they should be, but I’d think that if “when you become sexually active” is really the criteria, they should set the recommended age lower than “average”, since a lot of parents won’t know that their girls are sexually active and the kids generally won’t want to tell them in order to get an appointment.
I don’t think it’s at all normal for ultra conservatives to take their daughters to obgyns, even if they have severe menstrual pain
I had two babies before my first gynecologist visit, lol.
It was not good
*not a good situation. The gynecological exam was fine though
I’m 26 and haven’t seen one yet for a variety of reasons. My first doctor wanted to try a few things first and they helped significantly but he died before he thought I was ready for an OB/GYN. He probably could’ve got me on the pill but I was on seizure meds at that point and I was SO wary of being on more. Then my new doctor I only saw for a year or so before she left and then I was in university and only really saw a doctor if I was sick and by that point I just didn’t classify it as urgent enough to demand attention. Was it debilitating? Sure, but some combo of ‘periods suck’, ‘I can haul my ass around’, ‘I’m busy with school’ and sheer utter laziness (and, okay, no small part of ‘what if they’re not helpful’) and the fact I didn’t know him super well kept me from bringing it up. I was getting ready to before the pandemic showed up and shut down a Lot of specialist referrals for a while. So now here I am at 26, having been dealing with this for 17 years now and not having seen an OB/GYN. Not for other people’s lack of caring and just….very long timing issues and not really having the push to go fix it.
Dealing with menstrual trouble isn’t the only reason to have a gynecological appointment. You need to get yourself a smear test regularly to check for signs of cervical cancers, HPV, and other STDs while you’re there. Gynecologists are there for general reproductive health, not only to deal with difficult periods.
I think, as soon as you feel comfortable, you should bite the bullet and go. The appointments are usually very quick, and there can be some mild discomfort/pain while they’re scraping your cervix, but that part is over fast enough. If you’re sexually active, then regular STD tests are a great idea and can often be sorted out at the same time.
See, I ASKED about the Pap smear thing and the nurse told me if I wasn’t sexually active I didn’t need one. I knew that didn’t sound right.
I’ve always been able to do those things at my regular GP office and rarely have to make a specific OBGYN visit.
Awesome! The important thing is the appointments, not the doctor who does them. As long as you’re getting healthcare for yourself, great.
Fucks sakes Joyce.
Who knows?
This might just be one more stepping stone towards Joyce being more comfy about sex!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
??? She’s allowed to be uncomfortable about something her family/community told her was a sin for her entire life. I swear the lack of empathy for Joyce, during an appointment that isn’t usually fun/comfy even under the best circumstances, is way out of proportion in this comments section.
Who the hell wants their friend to watch them get a physical examination like that? There are some people like that, maybe I’d be one of them, but are we really gonna pretend that her being uncomfortable deserves a “for fucks sakes”?????
Just noticed that Willis’ buffer is out to November 8th – that’s almost five and a half months. Has he ever been that far ahead before?
For the Kickstarter Doodle: You know I almost voted Joe but then I thought about it and SPITE propelled me to pick Booster. Sorry Joe. Better luck next year.
and there’s the reaction others were expecting.
Did you know that “Kaur” is to Sikh women as “Singh” is to Sikh men? Most Sikh men have the last name “Singh,” and most Sikh women have the last name “Kaur,” even if they are in the same family.
I did not know that, actually.
Fascinating!
Great to see you here Laura! 😊
BTW is it also real hot where you are? 🥵
I did know that! It’s really cool. Wasn’t sure from the top of my head about same family but it’s nice to get confirmation!
It would be great and funny if we got a character from each existent religion here in DoA.
(And Willis already doing a great job on it).
What do Kaur and Singh mean?
Princess and Lion respectively. but since that doesn’t tell you much, let me briefly quote wikipedia:
Male Sikhs generally have Singh (‘lion’) as their middle or last name, though not all Singhs are necessarily Sikhs; likewise, female Sikhs have Kaur (‘princess’) as their middle or last name.
The word “Singh” is derived from the Sanskrit word siṃha meaning “lion”, and is used in the sense “hero” or “eminent person”.
The adoption of Kaur and Singh as religious surnames was also intended to reduce caste-based prejudice. Because familial last names often signal a person’s caste status (or for women who adopted their spouse’s surname, the caste of their spouse), substituting Kaur and Singh allowed Sikhs to implement the Sikh religion’s rejection of the caste system.
The surname ‘Singh’ … is also found among the Indian diaspora. For example, taking advantage of the fact that there was no reliable way to ascertain a person’s caste, some of the low-caste Indian indentured labourers brought to British Guiana adopted the surname “Singh”, claiming to be Kshatriyas.
Kaur (“Crown Prince”) is a surname given to women of the Sikh faith and some Hindu women. “Kaur” is also sometimes translated as “lioness”, not because this meaning is etymologically derived from the name, but as a parallel to the Sikh male name “Singh,” which means “lion.” “Kaur” is recognized as “Princess” or “Spiritual Princess”.
It goes back to the Sanskrit word “Kumari” meaning girl or daughter.
According to early sources, Kaur was given to both males and females in Punjab.
Oh this is quite interesting. I was curious what kind of concept would lay behind the most popular last names.
There’s no way Dr Kaur gets paid enough for this
don’t know how well they’re likely to be paid but i would say being empathetic and mindful of patients’ insecurities is (or should be) part of the job description?
Enough to assist a young woman with her first visit? I assure you that Joyce isn’t the only woman who has ever had anxiety about their first vaginal exam.
But probably not Joyce-level anxiety.
She’s a doctor at the campus medical center, so Joyce definitely isn’t the first first-timer to grace her exam room.
But this is her first Joyce…
Lol having to deal with Joyce yelling “I don’t know you lady” is probably a little more than your every day nervous first time patient
Billie “I’m not sure what I expected”
Billiefer: “I needed to leave.”
Joyce, with that answer she probably thinks you’re fucking Jennifer.
I mean I’m not the only one who thinks specifying that she’s her “very close friend” after just being called her friend sounds to an outside observer who doesn’t know them like someone chaffing a little at hiding their romantic relationship am I?
I spent a moment trying to figure out how “I do not know this woman” implied that. 🙂
Not that she would want to or anything… haha
Safe and warm forever…
having heard a few stories of homophobia or crass ignorance from GPs and OBGYNs, i wouldn’t be so sure.
(calling a friend irresponsible for not using fertility control even after being told they’re in a stable relationship with a cis woman, telling another friend that they don’t need a pap smear if they only have female partners, etc.)
Joyce knew that when she agreed to glasses, it would open the gate for extremely personal menstrual questions.
This is going great so far.
I’m fascinated by the fact that Dr. Kaur already has a tag.
I’m more bemused that her tag is “dr” instead of “doctor”.
Hope Joyce and Jennifer hang out more after this, being very close friends and all.
Does “I don’t know you either, lady!” count as a sikh burn?
THAT’S MY PURSE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!
Joyce may be changing but she hasn’t changed that much yet
This is it Joyce, that what your parents warn you might hapen in big city, but you dont listen. Now you will loose your Rose for strange lady in labcoat
This update made me literally rofl…. in office.
DAMN YOU WILLIS! 😛
…and thanks.
“I don’t know you, either, lady!” is comedy gold.
So Jennifer will wait outside leaving the door a little open for any emergency? Make sense! Her presence during her visit would have been very weird. Although, seeing her hold Joyce’s hand all the time would have been sweet.
Kablooey!
Joyce has fixed her hair very, very fast, before told doctor about Jennifer…
Is this a free clinic of some sort? If not, I’m worried for Joyce’s wallet. American hospitals, much like every single other thing in America these days, are a busted up machine designed to squeeze as much money out of consumers as possible, with as little stock used as they can physically manage.
Definitely not bitter and disillusioned with healthcare in general.
I think it’s the student health center, in which case Joyce should get at least a few appointments covered with her tuition.
And if not, that’s what divorced dads are for!
I haven’t lol’d at a strip like this in a while. XD
Me to my best friend ever in the whole wide world: “You need to go.”
“But Abel, we’re just here to look at the mole on your arm.”
“Yeah. Out. Vamoose. Amscray. Raus.”
She’s already better than the person I saw at the student health center in college!
Yesterday’s last words linger today.
Anyway, I congratulate Willis for another successful fundraiser.
Is anyone else having issues with avatar pictures no showing in the comments? I just have the broken-image picture for all of them :'(
no issue on my side. Reload page, try different browser/device, update browser, disable add-ons…?
When all else fails, ya gotta shake the device like an etch a sketch
Is Dr. Kaur an entirely new character, or have we seen her before in the Walkyverse at some point? I don’t remember her.
Entirely new, I think.
You might be thinking of Doctor Beverly, who Ruth saw a couple times.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/doctor-beverly/
Joyce will deny knowing three different people before the cock crows.
could I have misspelled “grows”.
No, probably not.
And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech betrayeth thee.
Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew.
I’m supposed to be getting an annual mammogram because I have a boob full of lumps, but I don’t because I’m a guy and it makes the rest of the patients uncomfortable, plus when they try to put the lumpy boob between the plates they usually grab the pectoral muscle and that hurts like hell.
Why would you going to a doctor make the other patients uncomfortable?
I was the only male in the waiting room. They kept looking at me like I was a pervert or something.
You may or may have not stumbled across these resources: https://www.outcarehealth.org/resources/
I have not tried them myself, as I had found my own amazing care providers, but I do have a couple friends who found this or providers they were referred to through this as helpful. I believe somewhere on Dr Momma Jones YouTube she also links lists of alphabet mafia providers. Not going to presume your intersections, but providers with these outward steps for inclusion often have supportive waiting rooms for patients regardless of your identity and more tailored prognosis instead of it being “a man getting woman’s care or whatever.” You should be able to get YOU care.
Sorry if this is over stepping. This stuff is super important to me becsuse I wasn’t able to get proper diagnosis for years due to all of my stuff being “normally male-linked” problems. They kept trying to shove me in these weird rare boxes versus just broadening expectations a little. I have permanent health issues due to not having this figured out for a decade. Please keep trying, as you have only one meat-suit to navigate the world in. Honestly, showing up and living well will piss off the people giving you the side eye more than anything else you can do.
yeah, holy hell, I passed out at my mammogram bc I don’t have really any mass there and it was painful as shit
you’da been fine at my place, bc they image all the parts, including bone density, so the dude-passing may inquire within