Riley, the most delightfully drama-free of the DeSanto sisters, rounds out the final voted-on bonus strip of 2020! All patrons can read her strip at the Dumbing of Age Patreon.
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of course you don’t need glasses, Joyce
you need LASIK
A sik burn
Maybe..But her religious upbringing taught her to not ignore the beam in her eye
Cast out the beam in thy own eyes before throwing stones at glass houses.
Or something like that.
So we should all try to be like Cyclops from the X-Men then?
Well I have about the same depth perception as a cyclops, but probably not as good as the depth perception that Cyclops has, so…
(For the record: 20/20 vision, but apparently stereoblind. Also trying to look at 3D visual effects makes me sick)
She’s afraid of a regular optometrist appointment, but you expect her to sit still while a surgeon slices and dices her cornea with lasers?
I’m pretty sure they don’t actually dice.
Fillet, then.
At least they give you some really nice drugs first.
Dorothy’s just trying to prevent this whole comic from devolving into Mr. Magoo.
Ah, Joyce’s eyesight took a dramatic downturn from having trouble reading the board to not being able to identify a giant fountain.
How far away and how large is the fountain? I’m not familiar with the layout of IU so I don’t know how bad this is.
Right in front of her and pretty damn big: http://www.bloomingpedia.org/wiki/Showalter_Fountain
Is that the one where Sal and Danny went swimming, once upon a time in another universe?
So according to the legend, Venus will be born when Joyce graduates? Which I guess is the same as saying never at this rate.
Joyce has almost certainly been downplaying her vision difficulties for some time now, in the hopes that if you ignore something long enough, it will go away.
Despite the vast, vast amounts of evidence to the contrary. Just keep ignoring it harder and her vision, like her belief in God, will return to perfect normalcy soon enough!
Ignore something long enough and it will go away only works with the green glowy eyes that hover over the bed at night.
Sleep like there’s no one watching.
You mean the cat?
That’s why the bedroom door stays closed at night. They might scratch the frame, but they and their menacing eyeshine won’t wake you up by sitting on your chest at two in the morning when you’re six years old.
My dad tried that with his own visual problems when he was a kid, hiding his glasses whenever his parents weren’t around, never wearing them at school etc, refusing to get cosmetic surgery to fix his double vision (because the 8yo twerp didn’t understand the meaning of “cosmetic” in this context and threw such a tantrum that my grandparents didn’t bother to argue with him), and has ended up perfectly fine.
Apart from being legally blind without his specs all through his adult life.
Seriously kids…if you have glasses, WEAR them! You are quite literally only hurting yourself if you don’t.
Well, she’s never liked being able to identify the fountain, due to the naked bits. So really, this is quite in character.
Almost sounds like when I had my retinal detachment.
Something no one is considering is that Joyce’s deteriorating vision is possibly making her other senses stronger! Do you really want to take that away from her Dorothy? A real bff wouldn’t!
A woman with enhanced senses and a killer right hook? Sounds like the perfect sidekick to NightguyTM.
Considering the preferences of the head of the news paper she would probably steal Nightguy’s thunder.
A real bff would jump at the chance to have Lady Daredevil (or at least her public identity) as a bff.
Joyce can’t become Daredevil, too many people already think she’s Catholic for some reason.
Well yes, but Dorothy is an atheist and she’s a saint.
If her sense of taste gets any more sensitive, she’ll go from demanding that different foods don’t touch each other on her plate, to insisting that different ingredients don’t mingle.
“I can’t eat this piece of bread until I’ve separated the flour, salt, and yeast into individual piles. Could I please have a glass of water and one of high fructose corn syrup to wash it down with? And some red no. five, if you have it.”
Red 5 is an abomination unto the Lord and all He hath creatle.
What did Luke Skywalker ever do to you?
…well, he does believe in a hokie religion and carry around ancient weapons
Exactly. Lightsabers are bullshit. Keyblades are infinitely superior.
This is an underrated take!
Shit, you beat me to the Dot face.
Also hell no, until they swing teeth-first like an axe keyblades are far inferior to a good lightsaber.
Speaking of keyblades …..
The Hero’s Armory
Yeah, but Joyce is trying to become an atheist now, so that would only encourage her further.
Man, that will make sucking those 5 billion dicks complicated.
Oh, let’s be reasonable. It was one billion dicks.
I’m not sure I’m doing this right but I’m gonna go ahead and try for a good old grav reroll!
Yo! I got a good one!
*Cue the drones blinking out CARLA while playing classical music*
Dorothy’s dissolving mirth, panel by panel, is why I’m here.
Tis marvelous
I am seriously wondering what the heck kind of weird hangup makes her not want to get glasses that badly.
Eh, it’s not that weird. Vanity, pride in good vision, resistance to change, one could point to a bunch of easy reasons.
I think she’s scared of the little air blast they sometimes use.
Big same tho
How I rank fear
watching a horror movie
Getting into a dangerous situation
Possibility of losing a loved one.
The little air blast.
The little air blast is evil and I hate it every time. (Unfortunately, glaucoma runs in the family on one side so we have to get it every time. Some of my family members have to get it checked twice a year!)
The alternative is dilation eyedrops and an instrument that physically touches your eye. (My optometrist still does it that way, but I usually try to skip the glaucoma check.)
I hate the slit-lamp part the most, but least there’s the flash-photo option to replace it now.
My optometrist has a new machine that takes photos of the inside of your eye without needing the dilation, its pretty sweet.
She heard and believes that line of doggerel from Dorothy Parker —
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
(when the truth is, if you blow on the glasses and fog them up, a guy can get away with almost anything)
I’m not sure how that would work.
Unless maybe she’s keeled over unconscious from your breath.
I tend to think that line is complete nonsense. Glasses make a girl look cuter.
Indeed.
(Not a fan of ’50s librarian cat-eye frames though.)
Not into girls but I think cat eye glasses are cute and super stylish.
Oooh, my eye doctor has a cool machine that takes a picture of the eyeball. First of all, that means he doesn’t have to extrapolate from notes and memory whether or not my eyes have gotten worse since he checked them last, and secondly – no drops, no puff of air.
I tell everybody, find an eye doctor with the machine. It is so worth it.
I love that thing!
I had to get my eyes dilated anyway for reasons but getting to see photos of your eye is both really cool and pretty reassuring.
And can tell your doctor if you have diabetes if you are undiagnosed.
Wait what fr
Diabetes does some real numbers on your eyes if you’re not careful. Don’t know what happened to my brother, but basically he would be looking straight at you, and one eye would have you a little off center while the other eye would have you floating up and to the right. So yeah, I can believe your eye doctor could tell you if you haven’t had proper testing.
So much better than the slit lamp. (Seriously, that thing’s evil. I always feel like it’s frying a line in my retina.)
That’s my biggest involuntary trigger: things in my eyes. I can’t do contacts, and I have eyedrops at home, work, and in the car because I get extremely anxious and panicky whenever I have something in my eye i can’t blink out. I’d love laser eye surgery but I can’t imagine being able to do it without throwing a fit
She doesn’t deal with change that well, unless circumstance forces her to. She particularly resists accepting changes involving herself, so a major visible one like wearing glasses is particularly hard.
I was fourteen when I first got glasses and it took me at least a year (maybe longer) to wear them outside of class because I didn’t like the fact it changed my face /shrug/. Like not even necessarily’ugly’ (though looking at the old frames they do kind of suck) but…different. Every time I looked in the mirror with them on and it wasn’t ‘me’. It wasn’t logical but it was what it was.
Like my best friend at the time wore glasses but she’d been doing that since she was four so it felt different. Glasses were a part of her face and she looked odd without them for instance to me just as off as I felt I looked with them.
I got mine when I was 11. I had spent an entire year going “I don’t need glasses my eyesight will fix itself you’ll see!”
for summer vacation I took a trip to spain (where it was winter) to spend a month with my dad, and my dad doesn’t take no shit. He grabbed granny (who came with me and my sister to spend the month with dad) gave her the money and told her to grab me by the ear if I didn’t go with her to the optometrist.
In little under an hour I had my prescription, and less than a week later I could finally see clearly and sharply for the first time in what must have been years, so I decided “y’know what, I’m already ugly enough, glasses won’t make it much worse, at least now I can fucking see straight” and never took them off again.
Got glasses at seven. Couldn’t read the board, especially later in the day. So I was smarter in the morning than in the afternoon. Teachers were sure I was just slacking in the afternoon.
Didn’t wear them at all during high school. But I was alphabetically in the front, so I was mainly OK. Even passed my driver’s license without them.
Bigger college classrooms meant I had to wear them and now I’m stuck for the rest of my life.
I’m assuming Joyce is afraid of the change in how she’ll look wearing glasses or something. I wouldn’t know how that feels personally since I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 3 or 4 years old.
Resistance to change is probably more likely than anything else, although it could also be just good old fashioned self-delusion and a refusal to believe something is wrong.
Fear of doctors is another fundie thing.
Huh, I got Lucy as my avatar this time.
Maybe, but all her family members seemed to deal with eye doctors, so in this case it seems more like a Joyce thing.
Does low vision run in Joyce’s family. Off the top of my head the only one I can remember regularly wearing glasses was Jocelyn.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/02-look-straight-ahead/contacts/
“All my brothers (sic) do. My parents wear contacts.”
Oh. I totally forgot about that. I think Joyce’s vision may be too bad for contacts if she can’t recognize fountains.
Besides, contacts would mean she’d have to touch her eyeballs every day.
Nail on the head! I had a huge thingy typed out until I saw your response. Joyce has been distancing herself from her family and is avoiding an additional reminder of her ties to them. She might also not want to feel like a “female copy” of her “brothers”. Orrrr she knows one of her “brothers” had a hard time adjusting to them and doesn’t want to deal with that life annoyance right now on top of everything else and deflection is one of her coping mechanisms. Quotes are Joyce’s perspective, not negating Jocelyn’s existence.
Ex of a bad glasses adjusting story: I never thought I had a problem with getting glasses until I actually got them and was told I’d adjust quickly. (Like Joyce, blackboard were getting tricky and I was slipping in a few note heavy classes). I spent two weeks where they’d be “wearable enough” for about an hour and then I’d get migraines or want to vomit… so went back, they put the CORRECT prescription in and they were great within a couple days UNLESS it was raining (we got lots), working with animals/at farm (goat sneezes were the worst) or sunny (this was before transitions and good prescription sunglasses). There were definitely days they felt a hassle despite the fact I liked how they looked on me.
I am very excited over the possibility of Joyce getting glasses.
…Okay, fine, Willis, I’ll sign back up for your Patreon.
The angry Joyce avatar works well with this comment.
I took me way too long to figure out how Joyce could have possibly escaped without breaking that backpack
She teleported? It’s been known to happen. Joyce has superpowers when it’s funny.
True, but she usually teleports to Dorothy, not away from her.
Yes, it’s clearly wrong to make decisions for Joyce when she’s dealing with this so well on her own, like a mature and responsible adult.
It doesn’t matter how Joyce is acting, it’s still inappropriate for Dorothy to assign herself the role of Joyce’s Wrangler.
and when she wanders out into traffic?
yeah, but this is a cartoon though…
What is she, a pair of jeans?
Amber might manage being a pair of Jeans, but I don’t think Dorothy could manage it.
Alright, everyone get it out of yiur fucking system and start condeming Dorothy to Double Hell for her violent coercion of Joyce. I know it’s gonna fucking happen, so just get it the fuck over with.
Why don’t you enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea?
I’m allergic to liquids :'(
(Angrily) I DON’T NEED ANY CALMING TEA!
Look you aint gotta call me out in front of Gosh and everybody
As long as you’re in double hell for using Goshes name in vain, “who does Dorothy think she is, the government? “
Not yet, but she plans to.
Do you need to restore your honor?
Why yes, thank you. Don’t mind if I do.
That’s like hating on a parent for bringing their child to the dentist
Well, this comic DOES take place in the American Midwest.
Do they have evil dentists or something?
Nah, just idiots galore and nonstop constant irretrievable poverty. Nobody can afford it and those who can are too stuoid to bother.
Besides, the dentists are licensed by the government and so they’re required to put mercury nanobots in your child’s teeth so that they can be controlled by the brain wave machines.
Wait really? Is that, like, an actual thing? Jesus, this country is fucked. Do anybof y’all need new neighbors?
It’s not an actual thing, but you’ll notice that you had to ask.
Right, of course. I thought you meant people in the midwest might hate on parents who bring their kids to the dentists.
Speaking of insane dental care prices, have you ever noticed how strongly dentists insist that you need to visit them twice a year even if your teeth don’t have problems, and it’s perfectly safe to see them during Covid? I just think there’s some bias there.
If no one goes to the doctor during COVID, then they cannot pay off their student loans.
I had a dentist tell me to come back for a cleaning in five months because he knew my insurance would only cover cleanings every six months. I’ve had dentists raise the price as soon as they found out I had insurance. One dentist charged me $80, but when they found out I had insurance, it went up to $120 on the spot. And it all came out of my pocket, some how.
Dental care is part of health care – screwed up dental health can have greater impacts on the rest of your body. I have a heart condition and have always had to take care of my teeth because of the risk of bacterial infections. And just because there don’t seem to be any problems, it’s good to get regular checkups to ensure that nothing is wrong and catch any problems that may arise early. It’s the same with regular doctors – mine always recommended getting a checkup once a year even if nothing seemed wrong.
I mean once a year is reasonable, but for people with good teeth and no other health issues I think every 6 months is a stretch. Especially considering it’s not always covered by insurance.
Yeah, I’ve always been fortunate enough to have health insurance, but this coming year will be the first time I’ve had dental coverage in five years. It’s definitely good to have regular checkups, but it’s not always realistic.
The comic does, and her name is Anna.
but see, Joyce is 18 and should be allowed to make her own decisions and isn’t acting like a child at all
Of cooooouuuurse. Not at aaaalll.1
No way can I condemn Dorothy if this results in Joyce wearing glasses. I really want to see Joyce with glasses.
I may or may not have made a Grav in anticipation
A Taffy-scout is always prepared.
Sorry for the rude tone. Year’s been rough and the vino is bringing out the veritas.
I feel like I completely missed the train on Joyce having vision problems. I assume this is something that’s been shown before the time skip that I just forgot or didn’t pick up on?
No, but it’s been discussed in several recent post-time skip strips.
It wasn’t that long ago, it was mentioned on December 3rd…
Go back to the awesome adventures of Billie, at last free from the toxic influence of Walky!
I’m not sure that is a positive thing for Joyce!
What? How did that reply end up in the wrong thread?
Dorothy’s face in panel 4 should be an avatar.
I agree. It’s a good expression
I’m a fan of her face in the last one but probably harder to remove the background like Delicious Taffy did.
Wouldn’t be my first time.
But Glasses and Sweater vests make an epic combo!
Also little bummed it waa the fountain and not Blowjob Cat Joyce couldn’t identify
Blowjob Cat isn’t on campus, but I support the movement for a replica to be constructed there so he can show up more.
I approve of this movement!
Given Blowjob Cat’s distance from Joyce and obstructions to her view, her seeing Blowjob Cat at all would be a feat of superhuman perception
Which I’m pretty sure is the opposite of what this comic is going for.
Or have her think it was Blowjob Cat only to have dorothy correct her on it being the fountain
Joyce should probably be aware that Blowjob Cat is not located on IU grounds
Maybe Joyce’s aversion to glasses comes from her not wanting to be fetishized like Orange-Sweater-Mystery-Girl
Fetishised? Or expressing exellent taste? Velma is cool.
As much as some might appreciate Velma for her cool personality and intellect, she does get fetishized and rule 34ed. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but is not something I think Joyce would want!
Too late.
I mean. Velma is canonically bi representation, dependong on continuity. It makes sense she’d get the bulk of the r34.
Don’t forget the literal text of Rule 34: “There is porn of it. No exceptions.”
And Rule 35: If there isn’t, someone is making it.
It just comes spontaneously into existence when someone goes to look for it.
Please stop looking. It makes the internet creepier.
Cheer up. You’ll probably be the center of attention, Joyce.
I don’t think that this would be a positive thing for Joyce!
So you’re saying it wouldn’t be Something Positive?
she’s not cute and practically made out of silly putty…so no, it wouldn’t be 😉
Does Joyce think that if she can’t see Dorothy, Dorothy can’t see her?
We are not calling her the Ravenous Joyceblatter Beast of Traal or similar. >:(
…but it rolls off of the tongue so nicely
R.I.P. Joyce, claimed by the void.
Well, no, she can’t, but even you said that you sometimes need your friends to get you to do things that are unpleasant but necessary. In Dorothy’s range of hearing. So maybe you should do it anyway.
Or at least not say things like that in front of Dorothy.
You know Dorothy’s a Fixing Friend, Joyce! I don’t know what you expected here.
I am Dorothy.
At the moment, you appear to be Lucy.
With a disguise that good, no one will ever suspect!
Have you considered a career fighting crime?
Well sure its Joyces decision but on the other hand Joyce is in denial so well done Dorothy as it’d be easier just to drop it
Joyce knows the odds of her ending up on Slipshine triples if she gets glasses.
But didn’t she already end up on there with Dorothy? Or does she ignore that because it was non-canon?
…Or is she worried that will somehow lead to a canon version of that April Fool’s comic?
Please, O merciful Willis, grant us this blessing.
Dottie being Best Friend Joyce needs, even if she maybe doesn’t deserve her right now.
Wow, Joyce! Meltdown much?
wow, for it to be that bad suddenly, maybe she got an eye infection too
so that’s why she never shuts up and that I surmise her tone of voice is high pitched
she moves around with echolocation
I remember the moment I realized that I needed glasses: When I bolo’d on the firing range because I couldn’t see the targets. Embarrassing moment.
So I’m Joe now. Might be time to play Gravatar Lotto.
Son of a…
Joyce with glasses is gonna be adorable.
Your mother’s denial tactics are showing Joyce. It’s, uh…*tsk* it’s not a good look.
Look at it this way, Joyce. Getting glasses is a way to make sure you don’t lose your virginity before getting married. No one finds girls who wear glasses attractive at all.
Nope. Not at all. No sir.
Joyce ……. What a tragedy.
I am once again asking you, for Joyce in glasses
Grav roulette 1
Grav roulette 2
Looks like im Dina! Poggers
Also damn you willis i can’t afford patreon why must you tempt me so
are you even changing capitalization? lol
Dina’s great though
…not so fond of Malaya, though. Will have to remember to capitalize myself, I guess.
Just curious … if there’s a gravatar you want (like pipe-smoking Robin), can’t you right-click on it and then save the image to your computer, then click on the “get a Gravatar” link and assign the desired image to yourself? It’s been a while since I did it, but it seems to me that’s the way I got my personal avatar to display,
How do you play that?
oh in glasses so it’s a joke ok i understand
I have now decided to read the eye appointment as a date 🙂
Don’t fight it, Joyce. You know you want it.
The other reason Joyce doesn’t travel outside alone.
Yup, your eyes are just fine, you sure showed Dorothy; now, go up to that blue and gray blur, and tell her off.
Honestly, as a Riley, i seriously flinch any time I hear/read the name…
Joyce, you’re acting like Walky.
Reminds me of when I had glasses thrust upon me. I was sitting at the back of the room and asked a student what was on the board. He was so offended that I spoke to him (eeww, ICKY!) that he reported me to the teacher…who called home and soon I was at the Eye doctor without even the slightest clue why. I wasn’t opposed, I just didn’t understand.
Not related to this comic, but has anybody else been unable to send a message through the contact option on the DoA store page? I’m having issues, but as far as I can tell the option to contact them for support is not working. At least, I didn’t get any confirmation that my message went through and it’s been about 2 weeks.
Also, Dorothy! Yay! Almost as cool as Julia Gray
Send me an email!: wiigii at gmail dot com
Sent, thank you!
I think it would be fun to see Dorothy form a close relationship with an equally competent person, and have to struggle to stifle the “You’re acting like a child and need me to manage your life for you” scripts she’s run on with Walky and Joyce.
Oh Joyce, if you’re hiding, you’re not supposed to tell her were you’re going … wait … you want her to find you, don’t you?
I see, I am Roz now – not my favorite, but at least someone I recognize as a cast member 😉