Huh, I wasn’t expecting Joe’s dad to try and explain/share Hannukah to Amber and her mom. Also I wasn’t expecting Joe to really care whether she cared or not.
So how much of her hiding in her phone is “normal” Amber behavior, and how much of it is her trying not to think about Mike?
I really think it’s a Mike thing. She was always pretty seclusive in general but that more manifested in gaming and computer stuff before Mike’s coma but the phone specifically was new to that event.
Escaping to fiction was one of her coping mechanisms (starting with being alone a lot when her mom was working,) which has expanded to the internet periodically. (‘I’m Amber again. What does Amber do, again?… Evidently, scroll through Tumblr’ or something to that effect.) However, as that parenthetical quote suggests, she’d been pulling away from that a lot, in part for her other main coping mechanism (letting AG take control and fight shit.)
I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike’s death and everything that came with it also pushed her away from patrols. But since she seems to have lost progress in the ‘opening up to people’ department (or just got really overloaded with Stacy and the Rosenthals and probably a lot of Attentive Checking In On Her, really fast,) that leaves the internet. And oh boy, isn’t it convenient she has a tiny computer in her pocket at all times, there to provide escape?
Just a guess here, and I may be reading ibto it too much. But it seems like Joe has never had any consistent family other than his dad, who he has a very strained relationship with.
Also worth noting that Joe has displayed fear of being emotionally intimate/available with women (I.e, Joyce), it may be that Stacy and Amber offer him that (or potentially offer him that) in some way while being definitively Off The Table, and therefore safer for him, somehow?
Yeah, between that and ‘you worry about being like your horrific dad, I worry about being like my generally low-grade shitty dad, Same Trauma club?’ I think this could be a really good development for Joe… if Amber can ever reach out after all of her trauma.
I don’t think the comic has talked about Joe’s religion beyond him saying that he’s Jewish. I don’t think it’s even been implied whether he is strongly religious or not.
I think this is also about the fact that his dad tried to share their religion with them and got shut down. It seems like his dad is actually trying here. I can see Joe wanting this to work if only to prove that he doesn’t have to be a womanizer even if he is like his dad.
His dad does seem to be trying, though I doubt it’s actually good for Amber. Pushing too hard is a problem dealing with stepchildren, even when they don’t have Amber’s issues and Richard has never shown much awareness of boundaries.
It’s also worth repeating that he can try to bond and even be good to Amber, but still not deal with his cheating issues. We’ve never seen anything to indicate that he wasn’t a good parent to Joe – other than the example he set for relationships. It was the cheating that ruined that marriage, as far as we know, not anything else.
Oh. Amber does not seem to be doing any better than when we left her. I’m guessing losing Mike *And figuratively probably Ethan* is not sitting to well on her mind.
I wonder if Ruth could give her some useful advice on dealing with this stuff.
Of course, that would be something a normal RA would do, so it would be kind of weird for her. But Amber doesn’t need tips on breaking peoples’ bones, she’s already good at that.
I don’t know. Amber was really dismissive of Ruth last time they talked even though that was admittedly a very stressful moment for her. From what I’m seeing of Amber right now even though it’s not a lot to go on yet I don’t have a lot of confidence she’d really listen.
Amber was being dismissive of just about everyone at that time. Remember the “as if [any mental health professional] is equipped to handle me” attitude she had during the reconciliation meeting with Sal?
Maybe she’d be more receptive to outside help now that it seems like she’s making progress with her other half.
I wonder if Ethan has frozen her out since Mike passed away and she’s staying on her phone home he will reach out to her. Or she’s just flooding her brain with so much mindless shit off the net that she has no room in there to think about Mike. Either way…aww Amber.
Also, did not expect Joe to have some honest concern for her but it makes sense. She is his sister in law now and someone he wasn’t interested in in the first place. She’s double off the table but in his life so he’s concerned.
Joe has flashes of wisdom. They’re like a tiny light that you expect to be snuffed out at any moment, except somehow they persist. You might even call it a miracle.
Joe: “Twitter’s a hellscape.”
Amber: “Real life’s not offering a competitive advantage.”
I know Amber is referring to the incidents of the previous semester and break, but it could very easily apply to the past ten months of real world time, too.
It’s not any healthier to escape from the real world over that either. And make no mistake, Amber’s not distracting herself, she is going into escapism.
Oh no Amber, let me interrupt you there. Twitter is worse. In real life people restrain themselves a lot after so many struggles. On twitter people rant for hours like idiots and show their darkest shades of morality. Social media enables people to express both the good and bad of people, and the bad is scary as fuck!
I Facebook to stay in touch with relatives and I used to Google+ to keep up with communities I care about till Google pulled the plug, and I still follow stuff on Youtube, but I don’t Tweet. So pardon my ignorance, but how do people rant for hours when they are restricted to a few lines???
Long, long threads. (I am not immune to this when I use Twitter – shocker, I know – but at least my longest Twitter thread was probably liveblogging the Animal Crossing Direct back in February delightedly.)
I have a friend in Law Twitter who has been involved in a thread about that jackass voice dub actor who tried to sue when people came forward about how abusive he was? Remember that news?
I was in his fan club (well, on their forums at least) as a kid and it’s really fucking disappointing to see he still has fans raising his legal fees and shit.
I mean it was also disappointing to find out he was a creep but like, a old white dude involved in nerd culture is a creep? shocker
I know the feeling. I wasn’t a fan of his, but I was a fan of some… other people who have notably become (or revealed themselves to be) terrible, terrible examples of people.
Watching people get older and go batshit insane is really terrifying.
I think in a lot of cases it’s not that they’ve gotten older and become terrible people, it’s just that they’ve always been terrible people and some things (say, creeping on young female fans) becomes harder and harder to hide as you get older.
But yeah, it’s horrible. Every time I see a celebrity I like trending my brain immediately leaps to “dead, paedophile, or something else?”
(Gotta love how the douchebag so transparently Did Not Have A Case that he could only get a lawyer who didn’t know defamation law whatsoever, and also didn’t know that you have to be in person to have documents witnessed, that is literally the entire point.)
I wonder about Amber’s mom. She really seems blind to just how bad Amber’s mental state is. We know Amber is good at hiding things because of her double life as Amazi-girl, but you’d think some things would be just too hard for her to hide from her mom.
I think Stacy is nice but she also doesn’t seem to be too perceptive in general considering her dating history involves Blaine and Mr.Rosenthal.
We admittedly haven’t seen how Stacy has handled Amber over the break but at least prior to that I kind of get the feeling a lot of Amber’s reclusiveness was chalked up to “Teenagers, am I right?” or similar.
“I swear, most of your problems can be attributed to low blood sugar.” Which she said the day Amber came back to school after stabbing a man, requiring Amber to use the exact entrance it happened in front of.
Stacy is nice, but between that and Blaine being able to convince her self-defense classes were a better response to the convenience store incident than therapy, I’m pretty sure she has no fucking clue how to handle mental health. At all. Personally I’m still betting Blaine either looked for someone who already bought into the stigma around therapy or spent a lot of time talking about how useless it was (or both,) because a competent therapist could help defuse some of his bullshit and get their patient out from his control. And/or encourage them to ask questions about some of these oddities around Blaine’s work.
Moms are people, and some people just aren’t that smart. However, whenever I get frustrated with her cheerful cluelessness, I remember that she got herself and her kid away from their horrible abuser. For this she has my undying respect.
Stacy is “nice” but she’s not kind. She has no empathy and where Amber is concerned, does the least she can. She acts like a big sunny smile is all she needs to give Amber.
Even when Amber is painfully obviously suffering mental health breakdowns, she just smiles. Amber says she’s fine/doesn’t want to go to a therapist, and Stacy just smiles. A parent who had one neuron focused on their child would have said, nope, we are getting you help, and worked until they found someone who could.
But no, Stacy thinks Amber’s distress at facing people after she stabbed someone almost to death, on those stairs right there, here’s have a donut.
Stacy’s got a solid position on the Bad Parents List.
I think Stacy may have deliberately turned herself into the anti-Blaine. Blaine was controlling, Stacy is hands-off. Blaine says Amber is a disappointment, Stacy says Amber is perfect just the way she is. It’s understandable, but it does not make for good parenting.
This seems far more accurate to me. Stacy has Empathy, but has her own problems, and in dealing with those has very much gone with “Don’t do anything Blaine would do. She’s had a lifetime supply of Blaine. Be encouraging, let her work through what she needs to work through.”
BigDogLittleCat – Yeah, that’s pretty much the perfect summation.
And like, she KNOWS Amber had severe anxiety as a kid/young teen! She pointed out to Blaine that Amber has trouble on buses prompting the whole Field Trip Of Doom! And her return to the school had her showing a lot of her anxiety behaviors!
I’d like to think that Stacy could grow, but the more I think about it the more I realize just how hard she’s dropped the ball every time the subject’s come up, and it’s bad.
RacingTurtle – Really interesting way to look at it, actually. We also know she had to be hands-off working long hours after the divorce, so I wonder if she genuinely doesn’t know how to connect back in with Amber, too. (Or figures that since she was so good and independent for so long, she’ll be fine if Stacy doesn’t show up on Family Weekend for a few hours, right? Amber doesn’t need her! Everything’s fine.)
My read is that, just like Amber’s coping mechanism is reclusion and escapism, Stacy’s is to plaster over anything negative with a quick fix, be it through denial, downplaying, or ignoring. There was likely plenty of gaslighting from Blaine while he was in the picture, too.
Nothing strong enough that you can’t ignore it. I don’t actually think he’s insincere though. I think he’s caught up in the rush of a new relationship and isn’t thinking about cheating right now. Which is basically what he said to Joe earlier.
What Joe thought and what I agree with, is that it won’t last and since he’s not admitting to any problem, he’s likely to just fall back into old habits when he does start noticing other women.
I don’t think Joe has said anything about their marriage being horrible. He’s blamed his dad for cheating. Apparently often and for a long time. Enough to warp Joe’s perception of himself and his threat to women.
It’s possible there was some incompatibility beyond Richard getting bored and cheating, but there’s no evidence of it. Going meta, I suspect Willis would have hinted at it by now, if that was the intent.
Part of me wants to tell Amber to pay attention when people are showing her something important to them in her family but A) I do that too sometimes at family events (though not the whole time) and B) That last line is a fucking MOOD.
Can’t get burned when you fail people if you never let people get close to you, ever again!
Please let her actually be on some kind of DID or trauma support forum or something. What do we have subreddits for, if not giving people an anonymous-through-easy-burner-accounts, well-known-but-for-frequently-innocuous-subjects location to talk about their issues with people in a similar boat? (And because of the innocuous subjects and burners, have a quick cover if you can’t be open about your problem in meatspace. Like, say, if your mother has demonstrated she’s unhelpful when you talk even bluntly about your mental health, and you have a heavily-stigmatized and poorly-understood-even-by-professionals condition.)
Remember Amber’s massively introverted to start with, even without the recent traumas or the DID & PTSD and she’s essentially been at a family event for the entire break. Living with 2 new people, neither of them really known for respecting boundaries. I would be so burned out by now.
Who among Blaine’s goon squad knew Amber was AmaziGirl? Blaine didn’t believe it till she took off the mask and he never saw the goon squad after. Just his cop buddy.
Some of the goons were there with Ross to release her, iirc, and the only different thing she was wearing compared to when they kidnapped her was the mask. Of course, Idk if they know her name, but they’d be able to describe her, and the local cops are probably at least somewhat familiar with her description at this point, on account of the stabbing incident.
Trump’s not likely to agree to any rules that let him be muted. There may not be another debate. Or they’ll fold and give up on the rules changes – or just try something ineffective.
He’s a narcissist who has to be in the limelight, and he has no long-term plans besides shouting over everyone else with contrarian BS (much like his supporters). Arguing with him is pointless, he’ll just make up something else to try and make himself look good. The only way to disarm him is to starve him of the attention he so desperately craves, making him even more desperate and foolish. You can’t debate him like a normal candidate, we learned that in 2016.
The best thing Biden can do is keep calmly and rationally answering questions to the moderator and talking to the camera and audience. (Neither of which his opponent did through that whole shitshow.) Then just sit back and let his opponent throw his tantrum.
Maybe they can get Judge Judy to moderate the next debate, and John Goodman can play the bailiff and yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY” a lot.
I don’t get the whole “Twitter is a hellscape” thing. Don’t follow people that make it that kind of environment, and block people like that who try to Follow you. It’s easy. I only follow friends and a few celebrities/politicians I like. Same goes for FB, where I’m even more restrictive, and Tumblr, which is a wonderful melting pot of memes, anime I’ve never seen, history, and delightfully quirky stories about humans being the “weird aliens” in the galaxy.
Yeah, I find it difficult to believe that Twitter is any worse (or better) than Facebook. Just less useful for me. Now I’ve been on 4-Chan a few times because of stuff/people I was interested in and 4-Chan is as toxic as hell.
It gets harder as your follower count goes up or if a tweet you make ever goes viral. Once you hit around 3-4K followers, creeps and trolls start coming out of the woodwork far more often, and I assume it’s worse the higher your follower count gets beyond that point.
Basically, if you’re just using twitter as a private individual it’s pretty easy to curate your experience, but if you have a job that requires regular social media promotion/engagement, it becomes a minefield of stress.
It being a hellscape isn’t just about trolls and bigots. It’s also the fact that the kind, normal people you follow are struggling. I follow several women in tech: one of them has had COVID-19 for months, another has had several family members get sick, another has an invisible disability and had people harassing her for masking up and distancing early into the pandemic. That’s before all the bog standard sexism and racism that ends up in their mentions just for existing on Twitter.
It’s also a lot harder to avoid any kind of news on Twitter because people who would normally leave that sort of thing off their timeline have reached their limit. (Jim Gaffigan went off on Trump back in August.)
This isn’t to say that I think people shouldn’t talk about their struggles or complain about injustice. I’m saying everything is terrible on Twitter right now because Everything Is Terrible right now.
This is also absolutely true. I sympathize greatly with that person you follow. I have an invisible disability that makes me high-risk for covid complications and have been dealing with the same stuff, it is utterly exhausting. I’d dealt with ableism before but been 6 months of people constantly talking about people like me as “acceptable losses” and there’s no escaping it. It’s on Twitter, it’s on Facebook, it’s on the news, it’s in person. I had to block my own cousin for it.
I try to keep my professional social media spaces, like my Twitter, a positive and cheerful environment full of cute animal art and cat photos, but like many, I reached my limit this year and have been talking about more serious topics because I can’t continue to pretend that everything is okay when it’s very much not.
Things that do not go together
Ketchup and Chocolate
Nazis and Yom Kippur
Matter and Anti matter
Amber O Malley AND ANY KIND OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, BY GOD.
Well, I’m guessing they’re all getting along famously with him. A dead guy seldom disagrees, after all… And dying is one hell of a character development.
And, at that, from the fact that they’re actually physically on campus and not dressed up as banditos, their real life is a whole lot better than the dystopian hell that’s real life real life.
In the UK apparently some universities opened up, convinced students it was fine to come – and then basically locked them into their halls of residence once cases started to rise.
Whatever do students do when dorms close? Are they homeless? Doomed to live with their families even if they hate that?
In Germany, dorms are mostly off-campus and only used by, not sure, about 10-15% of students, and people live there year round anyway, dorms closing wasn’t a thing, though universities moving all lectures & stuff online was.
They are now trying to go back to on-site teaching, at least for smaller courses where you have large enough rooms to keep a distance, but I wonder how it plays out.
I bury myself in ao3 these days, and the pandemic is distinctly not the reason, though it doesn’t help either.
Generally “doomed to live with their families” – unless they’ve got some alternate arrangement. Some campuses made arrangements for overseas or other long distance students who still need classes that can’t be done remotely (labs, for example), but in general the point of a dorm is to give students access to campus, not to let them escape a bad family life. That’s just a side bonus.
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them did end up homeless considering how fast some colleges kicked out their students and the restrictions on international travel.
I’m kinda glad I don’t have a twitter account. I do read other people’s twitter posts a lot, and I also have a facebook and youtube account so I think those balance out my not having a twitter account.
Mike is dead, Walky seems to have broken up with her and it looks like either Ethan has moved colleges or at the very least doesn’t ever want anything to do with her again.
Maybe can you understand why she’s hurting and lashing out? Not the right thing to do but maybe understandable?
She’s not even lashing out. She’s retreated into herself, which would be a fair reaction from a significantly more extroverted person to significantly less trauma.
It is probably the only alternative to either lashing out or just curling up into a ball whimpering.
Give her some space. (And some therapy – but that won’t preclude the need for space.)
Oh, this makes me a bit sad… I love to share my culture with my gentile friends and Chanukah is definitively one of the best. One year, instead of having a Christmas party with two Jewish guests, we had a full-on Chanukah party, with 12 gentile guests, sufganiyot and gelt galore! And now that’s just how we do it each time!
But I am not even for a second saying that the Rosenthall’s were going all out. It was established pretty quickly that they lax about what they will and will not observe. Like I said, Chanukka is a GREAT starter, but just wait unntil Purim 😉
ALL OF THAT, WHICH IS TO SAY: Joe tried to reach out, and I’m hopefull that it means he’s working harder than he usually would /because/ he really does genuinely want this to work. You need bonds, you need to learn about the people who are permanently in your life, Sharing culture is, in my opinion, one of the most fulfilling, most loving ways to include those new people.
Not saying Joe is feeling all of these things, Also definitely possible that I’m reading way too into this! Just that, reading those panels, it made me sad. She’s lost so, so much in such a short period of time. So many flames have gone out. I really worry that right now, Joe is is “the best: she has. And so, fingers crossed, Joe finds that final vial of oil in the wreckage of the Beis Hamikdash, and despite how little oil they had, the flame kept going until the Kohanim were able to aquire more oil. In the original story, that meant only 8 days. I hope in this version tho, the light not only lasts, for as long as she needs, and that it also grows as she continues to grow as well.
(wait hold on did I just write Talmund DoA fanfin??)
As someone who is not Jewish but had a Jewish boyfriend for 4 years, you guys have some very nice holidays. I always enjoyed getting to participate in new cultural experiences.
And Passover food OH MY GOSH. I’d always known matzoh ball soup was good, but charoset…that was an amazing new food discovery for me.
Purim is the best! Ok, so, there’s an entire story behind it, which you could find by searching “English Purim Megillah” but essentially it’s “Someone wanted to kill all of the Jews in the kingdom, and he didn’t, bc our beloved, beautiful, kind, and smart Esther outsmarted him, with the help of Mordechai! Now let’s party!” And oh boy, do we mean PARTY. Well. Ok, there IS a fast day first, but then after that, it’s party time.
Everyone dresses up in costumes which really is my favorite part. Me and my mom are crafty, so she always went the DIY route and I was literally never disappointed. My costumes rocked. The costumes even have significance in the origin story; we wore masks/costumes to confuse the villain. We also hold these giant parties, often called “seudah” which translates literally to “feast” but we still kind of just use it to refer to the specific parties for Purim. Also, often times, local high schools, congregations, or community centers will hold “Purim Carnivals” where volunteers run basic carnival games for tickets to get prizes (one year a man gave me ten tickets just bc he was so impressed by my bubble wrap fairy wings! Thanks, mom!), and there’ll also be some of those blow up bounce houses and slides, some cotton candy and popcorn, and I remember two petting zoos, and once even a ferris wheel.
We also put together gift bags of a sort for others. They’re called “shalach manot.” One of the mitzvah’s for Purim is to give at LEAST two of these baskets to two different families. The food inside must also be ready to eat (no bags of frozen corn, no bagel seasoning) and it also must be of two seperate food groups, but it has to be OUR food groups. The specific Judaic ones. Which is a whole other story for a whole other time! Anyway, people go absolutely wild with these. The minimum is two, but there’s kind of this expectation to give one to every kid in your class so it was always this big production in our house, what with having four kids with four sets of classmates, assembling them, labeling them, making sure every package properly fufills the mitzvah. So basically imagine a giant dining room table covered in fun-size candy, home-made hamentashen – the traditional cookie of the holiday – bags of chips, apples, oranges, cracker jacks, giant cases of those small soda cans, and just stacks and stacks of those foil pans with the plastic lids crimp-on you can get from the dollar store. Oh, and don’t forget the ribbon to make it look nice! This already sounds crazy, but I promise you, wealthier families are even more wild about it. Ask how many times my parents were given full sized bottles of tequila.
Which! Again, also has significance in the story! Another mitzvah you do? Get so gotdang hammered that you can no longer tell the difference between the hero or the villain in the story. No joke, that’s pretty much verbatim from my dad. (I want to also add that all of those bottles where then given away the next year bc neither of my parents drink outside of the ceremonial wines lmao)
Back to the shalach manot for a second, you deliver them to every house (in costume) and often that house is giving one back to you (remember how I said there’s an expectation to give to every kid in the class) Sometimes they’re not home, sometimes they delivered to your house first, etc. One thing specifcally though… I don’t know if this is actually halucha, but when you deliver a basket, the receiver gives you a quarter. No idea why. All I know is that I was a 7 year old with five dollaars worth of quarters and it was an ultimate high. Not to mention that by the end of the day that same dining room table would be covered, just completely covered, in the shalach manot WE had received, and somehow the four of us were actually able to maturely divide the spoils among us??
Oh, and that megullah I mentioned way back at the begining? Another mitzvah to fulfill is to go to reading twice, on two seperate days. (So basically the erav, and then the actual day of). The shuls I went to always held a billion of them, just to make sure any many people as possible were able to squeeze in those two visits. Then, when the story is being read, every time the name of the villain is said, everyone makes a ton of noise, to erase him just like he tried to erase us! The traditional toy used is a “gragger,” but there’s plenty of other ways! Some people scream and stomp their feet, some people litterally bring pots and pans, once my brother brought a lazer gun that made zoop-zoop noises. I knew one cantor who would always give a hearty “cock-a-doodle-doo!” Again, most people come in costume, and sometimes there’s some snacks and desserts set out afterwards. Definitely those hamentashen.
Oh, and one last mitzvah! You’re also supposed to donate to a charity.
And I think that’s about it! Woof, I stopped practicing years ago, so sometimes I sort of forget just how detailed and specific our holidays and traditions are. I hope this was a fun/interesting/informative read, and not a pain in the butt!
Yeah. I understand that a lot of bad stuff has happened for Amber (Mike died, and it seems Walky broke up with her), but it bothers me that when somebody who’s going to be part of your new family tries to include you in the important aspects of their life, Amber’s response was basically “stay out.” Perhaps you don’t necessarily have to be an active participant, but at least be present and show respect, not pretend that it doesn’t exist for you. (Or, if it REALLY offends you on some level, then at least bow out altogether. Don’t show up and then just ignore everything. It’s exceedingly rude.)
Amber is both recently traumatized and massively introverted. Her mother just married someone who’s essentially a total stranger to her. A new family like that is a huge stressor even under the best circumstances. Neither Richard or Joe have much appreciation for boundaries. I expect they’ve spent the whole break trying to draw Amber out and include her – not just the Hanukkah introduction.
It’s rude, but she’s overwhelmed.
Yeah, and I’m betting they were even more ‘come on, Amber, spend time with us!’ BECAUSE of the trauma, which then has her feeling pressure to go ‘I’m fine, everything’s fine’ because she really wants some time to be to herself and decompress and isn’t getting any of it and if she admits how Not Fine she is, they’re going to fuss even more.
We’ll see how she does after some time with Dina, who respects boundaries and fully gets ‘I am thoroughly Peopled Out’. That said, given her last line, I do think she’s in pretty rough shape even setting aside the Introvert Burnout. (That could be last-panel exaggeration/real life is in fact a hellscape, but given the metric fuckload of trauma I do think there’s some truth there, too.)
I know. Which is why I included the option there for Amber to just bow out altogether (after letting them know why she’s doing it). Honestly, her mom should know her daughter well enough to anticipate that kind of reaction and be able to give her space if she needs it. The fault partially rests with them for not giving Amber space, I suppose, but on the flip side, I DO know people that just retreated into themselves after a traumatic event and just never emerged again because the people around them were too afraid/hesitant to make sure that the person continued to engage with the world.
Indeed. The internet is where I went to get away from people. Then we decided to have a pandemic and suddenly my antisocial safespace is full of frustrated extroverts and more children than previously and now my 73yo mom is better at social media than I am.
So I’ve gone from “extremely online” to “extremely afk.”*
That being said, Twitter is definitely a hellscape and I stay the hell away from it except to dm my friend baby pictures of my nephew and the occasional cat picture.
Yup. It seems like the whole Internet is flooded with loud, frustrated “normal” offline people who are mad their meatspace stuff isn’t happening. Now instead of puttering online all day I’ve been doing other stuff like home improvement projects, fixing up old computers and restoring barbecue grills. I even bought a motorcycle. (It’s just an old Honda, but what I really want is a Zero DSR or FX…)
Yeah, Walky’s broken up with her and Mike is dead (apart from the ghost in her head that’s she’s liking even less than she liked the real guy). So, understandably, Amber isn’t in the best of moods. She shouldn’t take it out on Joe, though. It’s like kicking a puppy because your coffee maker is broken.
Stacy probably moved in with Richard. That means Amber likely spent the break in Joe, Danny, & Dorothy’s hometown, rather than Ethan, Mike, & Amber’s hometown. That must have been weird and sad for her 🙁
I appreciate Joe trying to say “You need a distraction that isn’t your phone.” But Amber has had to think of how Mike (possibly) is still in the Hospital closest to campus while she got to go home, and anticipating court dates from Ryan’s parents suing for cutting ribbons out of him, so there was gonna be little chance of avoiding the nose to screen habit. But with varying degrees of persistence, I think her friends can pull her out of the funk, even if so she is only shoulder deep instead of submerged.
Wonder if they gave Amber the non-Jew/little kid version of Hannukka or if she just proved how little she was paying attention. That story is just there to slide it in with the other Festival of Lights occurring around that time. I think Amber would have related a lot more to the actual story. The outnumbered army that managed to survive anyhow, that part. And even the tough Macabe leader that once killed someone for giving in to the enemy and eating pig. Loyalty, garbage (roof), and unsuspected strength.
Internet addiction is the very least of her problems.
Sounds a lot more like a coping mechanism when she can’t interact with people anymore. People who won’t give her space.
Okay, which of our DofA characters really reads the New Yorker? Or did Willis put that in for us not-youngs who grew up within the broadcast area of NYC and whose doctor’s offices often have the New Yorker?
Amber spent part of her break going to Mike’s funeral. Then life with Joe and Joedad. Yes, her life sucks. She needs Dina and Walky and some slightly wacky hijnix.
Considering the new roommate arrangements, I bet Dina will spend a lot more time in Becky’s room than she will in her own. Maybe Dorothy can move her work stuff to Dina’s desk, then both she and Amber can have some peace and quiet.
Amber is perfectly in the role of “The annoying sister that thinks everything is trash”. Joe looks way better in comparison and this make me really worried about Amber.
Short of the drastic measures suggested, it’s difficult when you’re sharing space with them – either in a dorm or as your new stepfather and stepbrother.
This might not be the best place for it, and I won’t get mad if Willis deletes this comment, but the world is a mess and I’m sure we’re all trying to find ways to help. Here’s a way to donate to the Breonna Taylor protesters in Louisville, KY. https://www.facebook.com/526897366/posts/10158458175117367/?extid=0&d=n
Lmao, though yeah I was thinking about her still being at uni. I’m glad Richard seems to be covering for her though – I hope she binds with him a bit better ;_;
I’d like to thank the Rugrats for giving me just enough context to understand the phone battery gag. If it wasn’t for that old show I wouldn’t have a clue what Hanukkah is about.
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she’s not wrong
but it also has Weird Al moderating the debate
…wait, that’s the YouTubes, sry
Which I loved!
But I found it through Al’s Twitter, so it’s all the same, right?
If this is Schmoyoho, I have been anticipating this. Should have a quiet moment tomorrow to watch it.
Yep
I love that Weird Al can get political now, since he no longer has a contract dictating terms to his creativity.
#TooReal
Yeah, I can’t help feeling that they both have a point.
“Twitter’s a hellscape.”
“Yeah, well real life is not offering a competitive alternative.”
Proof that DoA takes place 2020!
*sigh* IN 2020
Huh, I wasn’t expecting Joe’s dad to try and explain/share Hannukah to Amber and her mom. Also I wasn’t expecting Joe to really care whether she cared or not.
So how much of her hiding in her phone is “normal” Amber behavior, and how much of it is her trying not to think about Mike?
I really think it’s a Mike thing. She was always pretty seclusive in general but that more manifested in gaming and computer stuff before Mike’s coma but the phone specifically was new to that event.
Escaping to fiction was one of her coping mechanisms (starting with being alone a lot when her mom was working,) which has expanded to the internet periodically. (‘I’m Amber again. What does Amber do, again?… Evidently, scroll through Tumblr’ or something to that effect.) However, as that parenthetical quote suggests, she’d been pulling away from that a lot, in part for her other main coping mechanism (letting AG take control and fight shit.)
I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike’s death and everything that came with it also pushed her away from patrols. But since she seems to have lost progress in the ‘opening up to people’ department (or just got really overloaded with Stacy and the Rosenthals and probably a lot of Attentive Checking In On Her, really fast,) that leaves the internet. And oh boy, isn’t it convenient she has a tiny computer in her pocket at all times, there to provide escape?
Just a guess here, and I may be reading ibto it too much. But it seems like Joe has never had any consistent family other than his dad, who he has a very strained relationship with.
He might actually be happy to have a sister.
Also worth noting that Joe has displayed fear of being emotionally intimate/available with women (I.e, Joyce), it may be that Stacy and Amber offer him that (or potentially offer him that) in some way while being definitively Off The Table, and therefore safer for him, somehow?
Yeah, between that and ‘you worry about being like your horrific dad, I worry about being like my generally low-grade shitty dad, Same Trauma club?’ I think this could be a really good development for Joe… if Amber can ever reach out after all of her trauma.
I think this makes a lot of sense. I’d hoped Joe would get along with Amber and Stacy, but you’ve put into words why he might want to.
We’ve only seen Joe’s mom on Patreon. It’s only just occurring to me that his strong resemblance to Richard might be tough for the two of them.
Is she in one of the Book 9 bonus strips?
I don’t remember what book she would have appeared in. The strip was a flashback to Joe’s childhood.
Or trying to be happy, anyway!
Also, hah, I brought up the Rosenthals being Jewish in the previous comments.
A little from column A, a lot from column B.
I don’t think the comic has talked about Joe’s religion beyond him saying that he’s Jewish. I don’t think it’s even been implied whether he is strongly religious or not.
I think this is also about the fact that his dad tried to share their religion with them and got shut down. It seems like his dad is actually trying here. I can see Joe wanting this to work if only to prove that he doesn’t have to be a womanizer even if he is like his dad.
His dad does seem to be trying, though I doubt it’s actually good for Amber. Pushing too hard is a problem dealing with stepchildren, even when they don’t have Amber’s issues and Richard has never shown much awareness of boundaries.
It’s also worth repeating that he can try to bond and even be good to Amber, but still not deal with his cheating issues. We’ve never seen anything to indicate that he wasn’t a good parent to Joe – other than the example he set for relationships. It was the cheating that ruined that marriage, as far as we know, not anything else.
That Hannukah analogy is very surprisingly apt.
Oh. Amber does not seem to be doing any better than when we left her. I’m guessing losing Mike *And figuratively probably Ethan* is not sitting to well on her mind.
I wonder if Ruth could give her some useful advice on dealing with this stuff.
Of course, that would be something a normal RA would do, so it would be kind of weird for her. But Amber doesn’t need tips on breaking peoples’ bones, she’s already good at that.
I don’t know. Amber was really dismissive of Ruth last time they talked even though that was admittedly a very stressful moment for her. From what I’m seeing of Amber right now even though it’s not a lot to go on yet I don’t have a lot of confidence she’d really listen.
You’d have to tweet it.
Amber was being dismissive of just about everyone at that time. Remember the “as if [any mental health professional] is equipped to handle me” attitude she had during the reconciliation meeting with Sal?
Maybe she’d be more receptive to outside help now that it seems like she’s making progress with her other half.
Huh, their luggage is colour-coordinated with their clothing.
My comment equating Joe’s colors with Unit-01 was blocked?!
I appreciate how Amber and Joe both got emo hair over break
I wonder if Ethan has frozen her out since Mike passed away and she’s staying on her phone home he will reach out to her. Or she’s just flooding her brain with so much mindless shit off the net that she has no room in there to think about Mike. Either way…aww Amber.
Also, did not expect Joe to have some honest concern for her but it makes sense. She is his sister in law now and someone he wasn’t interested in in the first place. She’s double off the table but in his life so he’s concerned.
Stepsister. Sister in law would mean he married her sibling.
Unless we’re about to get some shocking revelation about Joe and Faz, I consider that unlikely.
Then they’d be a half sibling in law. So hey both is good.
Which would also be pretty terrible considering Faz is underage.
Faz actually has some laws printed out…
They’re both right.
Yeah, both Joe and Amber made some good points here.
Twitter is a hellscape and I’d rather die the go there on the reg.
… A bad sign, that I’m agreeing with Joe.
It really is. I even knew that already, but last week I watched The Social Dilemma and social media in general is even worse than I thought…
Joe has flashes of wisdom. They’re like a tiny light that you expect to be snuffed out at any moment, except somehow they persist. You might even call it a miracle.
I really wanted to reply with a Chanukah pun, but I’m drawing a blank. Suffice it to say, i c wut u did there, MM, and I am amused
Gorey or Addams?
And her overgrown hair makes her look more Ambsterish than usual.
Chas was reputed to have the Largest private collection of crossbow in America. Going with Chas.
Her end goal is to completely hide from the outside world behind her hair, like Cousin Itt.
Joe: “Twitter’s a hellscape.”
Amber: “Real life’s not offering a competitive advantage.”
I know Amber is referring to the incidents of the previous semester and break, but it could very easily apply to the past ten months of real world time, too.
It’s not any healthier to escape from the real world over that either. And make no mistake, Amber’s not distracting herself, she is going into escapism.
Ten months of five years?
I watched the world chose to go to Hell in 2000…
For “of” read “or”. No preview nor edit.
Oh no Amber, let me interrupt you there. Twitter is worse. In real life people restrain themselves a lot after so many struggles. On twitter people rant for hours like idiots and show their darkest shades of morality. Social media enables people to express both the good and bad of people, and the bad is scary as fuck!
I Facebook to stay in touch with relatives and I used to Google+ to keep up with communities I care about till Google pulled the plug, and I still follow stuff on Youtube, but I don’t Tweet. So pardon my ignorance, but how do people rant for hours when they are restricted to a few lines???
Threads.
Long, long threads. (I am not immune to this when I use Twitter – shocker, I know – but at least my longest Twitter thread was probably liveblogging the Animal Crossing Direct back in February delightedly.)
I have a friend in Law Twitter who has been involved in a thread about that jackass voice dub actor who tried to sue when people came forward about how abusive he was? Remember that news?
That’s still going.
I was in his fan club (well, on their forums at least) as a kid and it’s really fucking disappointing to see he still has fans raising his legal fees and shit.
I mean it was also disappointing to find out he was a creep but like, a old white dude involved in nerd culture is a creep? shocker
(he didn’t actually go on the forum, and the forum was heavily modded to be child safe, so it was a good anime forum for 12yo weeb me)
I know the feeling. I wasn’t a fan of his, but I was a fan of some… other people who have notably become (or revealed themselves to be) terrible, terrible examples of people.
Watching people get older and go batshit insane is really terrifying.
I think in a lot of cases it’s not that they’ve gotten older and become terrible people, it’s just that they’ve always been terrible people and some things (say, creeping on young female fans) becomes harder and harder to hide as you get older.
But yeah, it’s horrible. Every time I see a celebrity I like trending my brain immediately leaps to “dead, paedophile, or something else?”
Oh, yeah, I’ve seen some of that Bonkers Saga.
(Gotta love how the douchebag so transparently Did Not Have A Case that he could only get a lawyer who didn’t know defamation law whatsoever, and also didn’t know that you have to be in person to have documents witnessed, that is literally the entire point.)
Sheer willpower.
They just break their rants into many small chunks, the better to savor each grievance.
I wonder about Amber’s mom. She really seems blind to just how bad Amber’s mental state is. We know Amber is good at hiding things because of her double life as Amazi-girl, but you’d think some things would be just too hard for her to hide from her mom.
I think Stacy is nice but she also doesn’t seem to be too perceptive in general considering her dating history involves Blaine and Mr.Rosenthal.
We admittedly haven’t seen how Stacy has handled Amber over the break but at least prior to that I kind of get the feeling a lot of Amber’s reclusiveness was chalked up to “Teenagers, am I right?” or similar.
“I swear, most of your problems can be attributed to low blood sugar.” Which she said the day Amber came back to school after stabbing a man, requiring Amber to use the exact entrance it happened in front of.
Stacy is nice, but between that and Blaine being able to convince her self-defense classes were a better response to the convenience store incident than therapy, I’m pretty sure she has no fucking clue how to handle mental health. At all. Personally I’m still betting Blaine either looked for someone who already bought into the stigma around therapy or spent a lot of time talking about how useless it was (or both,) because a competent therapist could help defuse some of his bullshit and get their patient out from his control. And/or encourage them to ask questions about some of these oddities around Blaine’s work.
Moms are people, and some people just aren’t that smart. However, whenever I get frustrated with her cheerful cluelessness, I remember that she got herself and her kid away from their horrible abuser. For this she has my undying respect.
Stacy is “nice” but she’s not kind. She has no empathy and where Amber is concerned, does the least she can. She acts like a big sunny smile is all she needs to give Amber.
Even when Amber is painfully obviously suffering mental health breakdowns, she just smiles. Amber says she’s fine/doesn’t want to go to a therapist, and Stacy just smiles. A parent who had one neuron focused on their child would have said, nope, we are getting you help, and worked until they found someone who could.
But no, Stacy thinks Amber’s distress at facing people after she stabbed someone almost to death, on those stairs right there, here’s have a donut.
Stacy’s got a solid position on the Bad Parents List.
I think Stacy may have deliberately turned herself into the anti-Blaine. Blaine was controlling, Stacy is hands-off. Blaine says Amber is a disappointment, Stacy says Amber is perfect just the way she is. It’s understandable, but it does not make for good parenting.
This seems far more accurate to me. Stacy has Empathy, but has her own problems, and in dealing with those has very much gone with “Don’t do anything Blaine would do. She’s had a lifetime supply of Blaine. Be encouraging, let her work through what she needs to work through.”
A believable explanation.
BigDogLittleCat – Yeah, that’s pretty much the perfect summation.
And like, she KNOWS Amber had severe anxiety as a kid/young teen! She pointed out to Blaine that Amber has trouble on buses prompting the whole Field Trip Of Doom! And her return to the school had her showing a lot of her anxiety behaviors!
I’d like to think that Stacy could grow, but the more I think about it the more I realize just how hard she’s dropped the ball every time the subject’s come up, and it’s bad.
RacingTurtle – Really interesting way to look at it, actually. We also know she had to be hands-off working long hours after the divorce, so I wonder if she genuinely doesn’t know how to connect back in with Amber, too. (Or figures that since she was so good and independent for so long, she’ll be fine if Stacy doesn’t show up on Family Weekend for a few hours, right? Amber doesn’t need her! Everything’s fine.)
Exactly, nice but not kind.. it’s so lonely when your own parent is blind to your pain..or chooses to be
My read is that, just like Amber’s coping mechanism is reclusion and escapism, Stacy’s is to plaster over anything negative with a quick fix, be it through denial, downplaying, or ignoring. There was likely plenty of gaslighting from Blaine while he was in the picture, too.
Either that or she’s just cartoonishly oblivious.
Is there any sign that Joedad is insincere with Stacy?
Joe blames Joedad for the fact his parents marriage was horrible but it’s possible they just weren’t compatible.
Nothing strong enough that you can’t ignore it. I don’t actually think he’s insincere though. I think he’s caught up in the rush of a new relationship and isn’t thinking about cheating right now. Which is basically what he said to Joe earlier.
What Joe thought and what I agree with, is that it won’t last and since he’s not admitting to any problem, he’s likely to just fall back into old habits when he does start noticing other women.
I don’t think Joe has said anything about their marriage being horrible. He’s blamed his dad for cheating. Apparently often and for a long time. Enough to warp Joe’s perception of himself and his threat to women.
It’s possible there was some incompatibility beyond Richard getting bored and cheating, but there’s no evidence of it. Going meta, I suspect Willis would have hinted at it by now, if that was the intent.
Yes, my read as well.
Joe’s not wrong. Twitter sucks. I hate twitter and everyone on it. Including me. No. ESPECIALLY me.
I like you.
Part of me wants to tell Amber to pay attention when people are showing her something important to them in her family but A) I do that too sometimes at family events (though not the whole time) and B) That last line is a fucking MOOD.
Can’t get burned when you fail people if you never let people get close to you, ever again!
Please let her actually be on some kind of DID or trauma support forum or something. What do we have subreddits for, if not giving people an anonymous-through-easy-burner-accounts, well-known-but-for-frequently-innocuous-subjects location to talk about their issues with people in a similar boat? (And because of the innocuous subjects and burners, have a quick cover if you can’t be open about your problem in meatspace. Like, say, if your mother has demonstrated she’s unhelpful when you talk even bluntly about your mental health, and you have a heavily-stigmatized and poorly-understood-even-by-professionals condition.)
Remember Amber’s massively introverted to start with, even without the recent traumas or the DID & PTSD and she’s essentially been at a family event for the entire break. Living with 2 new people, neither of them really known for respecting boundaries. I would be so burned out by now.
True enough.
Trust me Amber, there are better alternatives than twitter
graffiti in a middle school restroom? the ranting of the old guy on the end barstool, who’s always arguing with the news?
(not the president; he’s the twitter of twitter. )
So….did no one arrested as Blaine’s goon squad rat out Amber as AG? Has she not gotten therapy or is this her reaction to losing her coping mechanism?
Who among Blaine’s goon squad knew Amber was AmaziGirl? Blaine didn’t believe it till she took off the mask and he never saw the goon squad after. Just his cop buddy.
Some of the goons were there with Ross to release her, iirc, and the only different thing she was wearing compared to when they kidnapped her was the mask. Of course, Idk if they know her name, but they’d be able to describe her, and the local cops are probably at least somewhat familiar with her description at this point, on account of the stabbing incident.
I understand if it’s hard to believe, but no one just recognizes Amazi-Girl.
Though looking back, it is weird that AG put on the mask before they released her to go find AG. She was still posing as Amber then.
Blaine STILL didn’t believe it after she took off the mask, but that’s because he’s awful.
She probably has gone to therapy
And found it didn’t help that much
Maybe – though it seemed to help Ruth.
If that happened off screen, I suspect we’ll hear about it soon.
Amber on her phone = We are all just prisoners of our own device…
(To hovertext:) Or in a presidential debate.
I bet we’re going to find out. The non-profit presidential debate organization was not best pleased.
Trump’s not likely to agree to any rules that let him be muted. There may not be another debate. Or they’ll fold and give up on the rules changes – or just try something ineffective.
He’s a narcissist who has to be in the limelight, and he has no long-term plans besides shouting over everyone else with contrarian BS (much like his supporters). Arguing with him is pointless, he’ll just make up something else to try and make himself look good. The only way to disarm him is to starve him of the attention he so desperately craves, making him even more desperate and foolish. You can’t debate him like a normal candidate, we learned that in 2016.
The best thing Biden can do is keep calmly and rationally answering questions to the moderator and talking to the camera and audience. (Neither of which his opponent did through that whole shitshow.) Then just sit back and let his opponent throw his tantrum.
Maybe they can get Judge Judy to moderate the next debate, and John Goodman can play the bailiff and yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY” a lot.
The best suggestion I’ve seen for moderator is Samuel Jackson
Lol Joe is upset about not giving people the attention they deserve.
I don’t get the whole “Twitter is a hellscape” thing. Don’t follow people that make it that kind of environment, and block people like that who try to Follow you. It’s easy. I only follow friends and a few celebrities/politicians I like. Same goes for FB, where I’m even more restrictive, and Tumblr, which is a wonderful melting pot of memes, anime I’ve never seen, history, and delightfully quirky stories about humans being the “weird aliens” in the galaxy.
Yeah, I find it difficult to believe that Twitter is any worse (or better) than Facebook. Just less useful for me. Now I’ve been on 4-Chan a few times because of stuff/people I was interested in and 4-Chan is as toxic as hell.
It gets harder as your follower count goes up or if a tweet you make ever goes viral. Once you hit around 3-4K followers, creeps and trolls start coming out of the woodwork far more often, and I assume it’s worse the higher your follower count gets beyond that point.
Basically, if you’re just using twitter as a private individual it’s pretty easy to curate your experience, but if you have a job that requires regular social media promotion/engagement, it becomes a minefield of stress.
It being a hellscape isn’t just about trolls and bigots. It’s also the fact that the kind, normal people you follow are struggling. I follow several women in tech: one of them has had COVID-19 for months, another has had several family members get sick, another has an invisible disability and had people harassing her for masking up and distancing early into the pandemic. That’s before all the bog standard sexism and racism that ends up in their mentions just for existing on Twitter.
It’s also a lot harder to avoid any kind of news on Twitter because people who would normally leave that sort of thing off their timeline have reached their limit. (Jim Gaffigan went off on Trump back in August.)
This isn’t to say that I think people shouldn’t talk about their struggles or complain about injustice. I’m saying everything is terrible on Twitter right now because Everything Is Terrible right now.
This is also absolutely true. I sympathize greatly with that person you follow. I have an invisible disability that makes me high-risk for covid complications and have been dealing with the same stuff, it is utterly exhausting. I’d dealt with ableism before but been 6 months of people constantly talking about people like me as “acceptable losses” and there’s no escaping it. It’s on Twitter, it’s on Facebook, it’s on the news, it’s in person. I had to block my own cousin for it.
I try to keep my professional social media spaces, like my Twitter, a positive and cheerful environment full of cute animal art and cat photos, but like many, I reached my limit this year and have been talking about more serious topics because I can’t continue to pretend that everything is okay when it’s very much not.
Joe has tried one (1) terrible joke and one (1) expression of sincerity. Poor guy’s getting to the end of his repertoire, here.
Sorry, Joe, but Amber’s problems are waaaay above your pay grade.
Shit that’s a good one
Things that do not go together
Ketchup and Chocolate
Nazis and Yom Kippur
Matter and Anti matter
Amber O Malley AND ANY KIND OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, BY GOD.
She has had character development. Loads of it. Some of it was positive, but as a whole, it was mostly negative.
It looks like that, right now, she’s worse than she was at the beginning of the story.
I’m hoping that Amber and AG are still on good terms, though.
Yeah, but how are either of them getting along with Mike?
Well, I’m guessing they’re all getting along famously with him. A dead guy seldom disagrees, after all… And dying is one hell of a character development.
Now, with Imaginary Mike, that’s another story…
And, at that, from the fact that they’re actually physically on campus and not dressed up as banditos, their real life is a whole lot better than the dystopian hell that’s real life real life.
Not necessarily. Some colleges are opening because of course they are
In the UK apparently some universities opened up, convinced students it was fine to come – and then basically locked them into their halls of residence once cases started to rise.
This… Seems bizarre and problematic.
Whatever do students do when dorms close? Are they homeless? Doomed to live with their families even if they hate that?
In Germany, dorms are mostly off-campus and only used by, not sure, about 10-15% of students, and people live there year round anyway, dorms closing wasn’t a thing, though universities moving all lectures & stuff online was.
They are now trying to go back to on-site teaching, at least for smaller courses where you have large enough rooms to keep a distance, but I wonder how it plays out.
I bury myself in ao3 these days, and the pandemic is distinctly not the reason, though it doesn’t help either.
Generally “doomed to live with their families” – unless they’ve got some alternate arrangement. Some campuses made arrangements for overseas or other long distance students who still need classes that can’t be done remotely (labs, for example), but in general the point of a dorm is to give students access to campus, not to let them escape a bad family life. That’s just a side bonus.
I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them did end up homeless considering how fast some colleges kicked out their students and the restrictions on international travel.
Yeah, spending the holliday’s with Joe & Joedad seems like a perfect reason to bury yourself in your phone
Well the twitter thing may be the most agreeable thing Joe has ever said.
I say, without using Twitter myself.
I’m kinda glad I don’t have a twitter account. I do read other people’s twitter posts a lot, and I also have a facebook and youtube account so I think those balance out my not having a twitter account.
Amber, don’t be a d*ck.
Mike is dead, Walky seems to have broken up with her and it looks like either Ethan has moved colleges or at the very least doesn’t ever want anything to do with her again.
Maybe can you understand why she’s hurting and lashing out? Not the right thing to do but maybe understandable?
Understanding why somebody is being a d*ck doesn’t actually change the fact they are being a d*ck.
She’s not even lashing out. She’s retreated into herself, which would be a fair reaction from a significantly more extroverted person to significantly less trauma.
It is probably the only alternative to either lashing out or just curling up into a ball whimpering.
Give her some space. (And some therapy – but that won’t preclude the need for space.)
Oh, this makes me a bit sad… I love to share my culture with my gentile friends and Chanukah is definitively one of the best. One year, instead of having a Christmas party with two Jewish guests, we had a full-on Chanukah party, with 12 gentile guests, sufganiyot and gelt galore! And now that’s just how we do it each time!
But I am not even for a second saying that the Rosenthall’s were going all out. It was established pretty quickly that they lax about what they will and will not observe. Like I said, Chanukka is a GREAT starter, but just wait unntil Purim 😉
ALL OF THAT, WHICH IS TO SAY: Joe tried to reach out, and I’m hopefull that it means he’s working harder than he usually would /because/ he really does genuinely want this to work. You need bonds, you need to learn about the people who are permanently in your life, Sharing culture is, in my opinion, one of the most fulfilling, most loving ways to include those new people.
Not saying Joe is feeling all of these things, Also definitely possible that I’m reading way too into this! Just that, reading those panels, it made me sad. She’s lost so, so much in such a short period of time. So many flames have gone out. I really worry that right now, Joe is is “the best: she has. And so, fingers crossed, Joe finds that final vial of oil in the wreckage of the Beis Hamikdash, and despite how little oil they had, the flame kept going until the Kohanim were able to aquire more oil. In the original story, that meant only 8 days. I hope in this version tho, the light not only lasts, for as long as she needs, and that it also grows as she continues to grow as well.
(wait hold on did I just write Talmund DoA fanfin??)
As someone who is not Jewish but had a Jewish boyfriend for 4 years, you guys have some very nice holidays. I always enjoyed getting to participate in new cultural experiences.
And Passover food OH MY GOSH. I’d always known matzoh ball soup was good, but charoset…that was an amazing new food discovery for me.
❤️ Yep and it’s cohesive and sweet 😁
Purim???
Purim is the best! Ok, so, there’s an entire story behind it, which you could find by searching “English Purim Megillah” but essentially it’s “Someone wanted to kill all of the Jews in the kingdom, and he didn’t, bc our beloved, beautiful, kind, and smart Esther outsmarted him, with the help of Mordechai! Now let’s party!” And oh boy, do we mean PARTY. Well. Ok, there IS a fast day first, but then after that, it’s party time.
Everyone dresses up in costumes which really is my favorite part. Me and my mom are crafty, so she always went the DIY route and I was literally never disappointed. My costumes rocked. The costumes even have significance in the origin story; we wore masks/costumes to confuse the villain. We also hold these giant parties, often called “seudah” which translates literally to “feast” but we still kind of just use it to refer to the specific parties for Purim. Also, often times, local high schools, congregations, or community centers will hold “Purim Carnivals” where volunteers run basic carnival games for tickets to get prizes (one year a man gave me ten tickets just bc he was so impressed by my bubble wrap fairy wings! Thanks, mom!), and there’ll also be some of those blow up bounce houses and slides, some cotton candy and popcorn, and I remember two petting zoos, and once even a ferris wheel.
We also put together gift bags of a sort for others. They’re called “shalach manot.” One of the mitzvah’s for Purim is to give at LEAST two of these baskets to two different families. The food inside must also be ready to eat (no bags of frozen corn, no bagel seasoning) and it also must be of two seperate food groups, but it has to be OUR food groups. The specific Judaic ones. Which is a whole other story for a whole other time! Anyway, people go absolutely wild with these. The minimum is two, but there’s kind of this expectation to give one to every kid in your class so it was always this big production in our house, what with having four kids with four sets of classmates, assembling them, labeling them, making sure every package properly fufills the mitzvah. So basically imagine a giant dining room table covered in fun-size candy, home-made hamentashen – the traditional cookie of the holiday – bags of chips, apples, oranges, cracker jacks, giant cases of those small soda cans, and just stacks and stacks of those foil pans with the plastic lids crimp-on you can get from the dollar store. Oh, and don’t forget the ribbon to make it look nice! This already sounds crazy, but I promise you, wealthier families are even more wild about it. Ask how many times my parents were given full sized bottles of tequila.
Which! Again, also has significance in the story! Another mitzvah you do? Get so gotdang hammered that you can no longer tell the difference between the hero or the villain in the story. No joke, that’s pretty much verbatim from my dad. (I want to also add that all of those bottles where then given away the next year bc neither of my parents drink outside of the ceremonial wines lmao)
Back to the shalach manot for a second, you deliver them to every house (in costume) and often that house is giving one back to you (remember how I said there’s an expectation to give to every kid in the class) Sometimes they’re not home, sometimes they delivered to your house first, etc. One thing specifcally though… I don’t know if this is actually halucha, but when you deliver a basket, the receiver gives you a quarter. No idea why. All I know is that I was a 7 year old with five dollaars worth of quarters and it was an ultimate high. Not to mention that by the end of the day that same dining room table would be covered, just completely covered, in the shalach manot WE had received, and somehow the four of us were actually able to maturely divide the spoils among us??
Oh, and that megullah I mentioned way back at the begining? Another mitzvah to fulfill is to go to reading twice, on two seperate days. (So basically the erav, and then the actual day of). The shuls I went to always held a billion of them, just to make sure any many people as possible were able to squeeze in those two visits. Then, when the story is being read, every time the name of the villain is said, everyone makes a ton of noise, to erase him just like he tried to erase us! The traditional toy used is a “gragger,” but there’s plenty of other ways! Some people scream and stomp their feet, some people litterally bring pots and pans, once my brother brought a lazer gun that made zoop-zoop noises. I knew one cantor who would always give a hearty “cock-a-doodle-doo!” Again, most people come in costume, and sometimes there’s some snacks and desserts set out afterwards. Definitely those hamentashen.
Oh, and one last mitzvah! You’re also supposed to donate to a charity.
And I think that’s about it! Woof, I stopped practicing years ago, so sometimes I sort of forget just how detailed and specific our holidays and traditions are. I hope this was a fun/interesting/informative read, and not a pain in the butt!
That was a fun read, Green, thank you for sharing!
Yeah. I understand that a lot of bad stuff has happened for Amber (Mike died, and it seems Walky broke up with her), but it bothers me that when somebody who’s going to be part of your new family tries to include you in the important aspects of their life, Amber’s response was basically “stay out.” Perhaps you don’t necessarily have to be an active participant, but at least be present and show respect, not pretend that it doesn’t exist for you. (Or, if it REALLY offends you on some level, then at least bow out altogether. Don’t show up and then just ignore everything. It’s exceedingly rude.)
Amber is both recently traumatized and massively introverted. Her mother just married someone who’s essentially a total stranger to her. A new family like that is a huge stressor even under the best circumstances. Neither Richard or Joe have much appreciation for boundaries. I expect they’ve spent the whole break trying to draw Amber out and include her – not just the Hanukkah introduction.
It’s rude, but she’s overwhelmed.
Yeah, and I’m betting they were even more ‘come on, Amber, spend time with us!’ BECAUSE of the trauma, which then has her feeling pressure to go ‘I’m fine, everything’s fine’ because she really wants some time to be to herself and decompress and isn’t getting any of it and if she admits how Not Fine she is, they’re going to fuss even more.
We’ll see how she does after some time with Dina, who respects boundaries and fully gets ‘I am thoroughly Peopled Out’. That said, given her last line, I do think she’s in pretty rough shape even setting aside the Introvert Burnout. (That could be last-panel exaggeration/real life is in fact a hellscape, but given the metric fuckload of trauma I do think there’s some truth there, too.)
I know. Which is why I included the option there for Amber to just bow out altogether (after letting them know why she’s doing it). Honestly, her mom should know her daughter well enough to anticipate that kind of reaction and be able to give her space if she needs it. The fault partially rests with them for not giving Amber space, I suppose, but on the flip side, I DO know people that just retreated into themselves after a traumatic event and just never emerged again because the people around them were too afraid/hesitant to make sure that the person continued to engage with the world.
Geez the joke in that last panel. I feel that greatly.
Indeed. The internet is where I went to get away from people. Then we decided to have a pandemic and suddenly my antisocial safespace is full of frustrated extroverts and more children than previously and now my 73yo mom is better at social media than I am.
So I’ve gone from “extremely online” to “extremely afk.”*
*Afk in the “do not disturb” sense
That being said, Twitter is definitely a hellscape and I stay the hell away from it except to dm my friend baby pictures of my nephew and the occasional cat picture.
Yup. It seems like the whole Internet is flooded with loud, frustrated “normal” offline people who are mad their meatspace stuff isn’t happening. Now instead of puttering online all day I’ve been doing other stuff like home improvement projects, fixing up old computers and restoring barbecue grills. I even bought a motorcycle. (It’s just an old Honda, but what I really want is a Zero DSR or FX…)
Yeah, Walky’s broken up with her and Mike is dead (apart from the ghost in her head that’s she’s liking even less than she liked the real guy). So, understandably, Amber isn’t in the best of moods. She shouldn’t take it out on Joe, though. It’s like kicking a puppy because your coffee maker is broken.
Stacy probably moved in with Richard. That means Amber likely spent the break in Joe, Danny, & Dorothy’s hometown, rather than Ethan, Mike, & Amber’s hometown. That must have been weird and sad for her 🙁
I appreciate Joe trying to say “You need a distraction that isn’t your phone.” But Amber has had to think of how Mike (possibly) is still in the Hospital closest to campus while she got to go home, and anticipating court dates from Ryan’s parents suing for cutting ribbons out of him, so there was gonna be little chance of avoiding the nose to screen habit. But with varying degrees of persistence, I think her friends can pull her out of the funk, even if so she is only shoulder deep instead of submerged.
Wonder if they gave Amber the non-Jew/little kid version of Hannukka or if she just proved how little she was paying attention. That story is just there to slide it in with the other Festival of Lights occurring around that time. I think Amber would have related a lot more to the actual story. The outnumbered army that managed to survive anyhow, that part. And even the tough Macabe leader that once killed someone for giving in to the enemy and eating pig. Loyalty, garbage (roof), and unsuspected strength.
I mean, one of her best friends (/her ex boyfriend) is jewish, so she probably had at least some idea before.
Fun fact: Amber speech bubbles are all within the 140 character limit.
good observation!
as long as she doesn’t start to talk in hashtags I’m good
Previous strip was close, with all the Hrngs.
Well, he’s genuinely trying.
Respect to Willis for skipping through the holidays but still working in a Hanukkah joke.
Well she either backed off from the whole getting therapy thing or it’s not doing much good. That sounds like a severe Internet addiction.
Internet addiction is the very least of her problems.
Sounds a lot more like a coping mechanism when she can’t interact with people anymore. People who won’t give her space.
Okay, which of our DofA characters really reads the New Yorker? Or did Willis put that in for us not-youngs who grew up within the broadcast area of NYC and whose doctor’s offices often have the New Yorker?
Less the question of who reads it, more the question of who would see someone else dunking on the political cartoons on Twitter
Hey! Next thing you know, Willis may throw in some “Archy and Mehitabel” references for us REAL old timers!
If only, alt-text. If only…
It’s easy, and called a locking ball gag.
I can block anyone IRL. The blocks are cinder.
Amber spent part of her break going to Mike’s funeral. Then life with Joe and Joedad. Yes, her life sucks. She needs Dina and Walky and some slightly wacky hijnix.
Considering the new roommate arrangements, I bet Dina will spend a lot more time in Becky’s room than she will in her own. Maybe Dorothy can move her work stuff to Dina’s desk, then both she and Amber can have some peace and quiet.
Amber is perfectly in the role of “The annoying sister that thinks everything is trash”. Joe looks way better in comparison and this make me really worried about Amber.
Joe, thank you for being the voice of reason, but this new role shift is scaring me.
You can absolutely block/mute IRL; it’s called “cutting people out of your life” and “dead to me”.
I thought it was murder.
There are two types of people.
Raptorofwar wins with a perfect Gravatar/post combo.
That also involves cutting people out of your life, leaving them dead to you.
Or possibly just without the “out of your life” part
Short of the drastic measures suggested, it’s difficult when you’re sharing space with them – either in a dorm or as your new stepfather and stepbrother.
Why must you be so accurate on Twitter and the real world.
This might not be the best place for it, and I won’t get mad if Willis deletes this comment, but the world is a mess and I’m sure we’re all trying to find ways to help. Here’s a way to donate to the Breonna Taylor protesters in Louisville, KY. https://www.facebook.com/526897366/posts/10158458175117367/?extid=0&d=n
It just dawned on me that Amber is still at the University; Linda must have had an aneurysm.
Linda: “With her father dead, that O’mally girl has no one to pay her tuition! She will get kicked out!”
Richard: “I got this.”
Linda: *makes a contorted facial expression as blood starts coming out her nose*
Lmao, though yeah I was thinking about her still being at uni. I’m glad Richard seems to be covering for her though – I hope she binds with him a bit better ;_;
Such a lovely, lovely thought.
I’d like to thank the Rugrats for giving me just enough context to understand the phone battery gag. If it wasn’t for that old show I wouldn’t have a clue what Hanukkah is about.
Yeah, this comic is making think that Amber might be less #relatable and more “This is a a symptom of something serious”
The vigilante alter didn’t clue you in?
It can be both.
Amber coming back to school rocking the Roast Beef Kazenkakis style
by which I mean her shirt reads “I’M THE GIRL WHO SUCKS, PLUS I GOT DEPRESSION*”
*: Comorbidly with a lot of other Fun Brain Stuff
*Kazenzakis whoops fuck