Whereas– No-no, no, no, no, no-no-no, no, no-no, no, no-no
Na-no, no, na-no, no-no, na-no, no-no, no, no-no, no
Nobody can do the (Shing-a-ling) like I do
Nobody can do the (Skate) like I do
Nobody can do (Boogaloo) like I do
Nobody can do (Philly) like I do
Ooooooh, yeah
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody–The Human Beinz
Jokes aside, if the words of Jesus in the actual Bible are to be trusted, it’s better to worship in private than among others in something like a church. Something about hypocrites, wasn’t it?
I didn’t wanna say anything before cause I didn’t feel it was my place as some rando on the internet, but I’ve been reading your stuff since Roomies was in its original run and I feel like all the enjoyment I’ve gotten out of your work over the years outweighs any awkwardness on that front.
So. My heart goes out to you in this sad time. *hugs*
My sincerest condolences, Willis. Been there, done that with my mom about four years ago. She was almost 90, and I was past 60, and we both knew no one lives forever, but it didn’t make it any easier or any less of a loss. Treasure the memories.
Mine died fourteen years ago. Her mum and grandma had both lived into their nineties, so we expected her to as well; but she got colon cancer and they didn’t catch it in time. So she was only sixty-six.
Gods I miss her.
Get your colonoscopies, kids!! And your mammograms! My breast cancer last year was caught in time. Screenings save lives.
–My deepest condolences, Willis. It sucks, it sucks hard. *hugs* (if wanted)
Sorry for your loss, but after listening to that song… gotta say, South Park kinda hit the nail on the head with being able to swap a romantic song for God/Jesus and having about the same song at the end.
Works the other way too, heh. There’s been more than one monk who got caught writing poems about sneaking over the wall to his lover who got out of it by going, “No; Jesus!!” XD
I was Joyce once. This strip… this is pretty real.
Like, there was a point in time where I was leading the music for a small church and my faith had died, but I still knew where to really ramp up that key change to get em praising.
The same. It’s all showmanship at a point. One of the moments my mom is most proud of is one of my worst. The Youth choir was supposed to perform a song for the Easter celebration and when it came time, the music CD started skipping and they couldn’t get it to stop. After the third time, I lead the other kids in a musicless version of the song, cause they just needed a strong voice to follow. They were used to keying off of me anyway. At this point, I was already past the point I had looked at it all and decided it held nothing for me, but you can’t exactly tell your parents that when they are the youth ministers at your church. All these people came up telling me how the holy spirit moved through me and all that jazz, and I’m just nodding and playing along. It was…frankly my best moment of deception in my entire life. And it kinda makes me miserable.
Hey Delicious Taffy, can you please tell me what the disorder you talked about last page? I NEED to know, my OCD won’t let it go. If I give you my email will you please tell me what it’s called.
Really, the vast majority of dishonesty comes from just not disagreeing with someone who’s wrong. And that’s okay. No one can live in such a way as to explain themselves adequately to everyone. There’s nothing evil about this. It’s not deception; it’s accepting that you have personal limits, and those limits mean that people will believe things that are untrue about you.
I had a moment like this that helped me towards realizing the church wasn’t for me. I was already shaky on beliefs, but my dear friend, the priest of the (Episcopal) congregation, strongly encourages that. But being a literature professor, he also encourage reading poetry like poetry, even in the Bible. So I took him at his word, and one Sunday, put my considerable public speaking skills and poetry experience to use on the Gospel of John.
People told me all manner of spiritual things had happened to me/them. People told me to go to seminary. (Not the priest. He was like, “It’s all the pretension of academia without the substance. Stick with university.”) I was flabbergasted. Guys . . . it’s not the spirit, it’s charisma and knowing how to project. You CANNOT be this easy.
But they were.
I no longer wonder as much about con men who get away with scale.
Nothing eroded my ability to believe quite like knowing all the musical tricks in the book to tug on heartstrings in every way, or how pointless it is to make music such a central feature of worship – “divinely-inspired music!” – when most all the popular hymn melodies are so simple. So many pieces of sacred music get preferential treatment for purely musical and not lyrical reasons, just like the secular ones. They’re not significantly different at all, except in word choice.
At the end of the day, music and even lyrics are both just a mix of nostalgia and ASMR, triggering a psychosomatic response. You can do the same thing with electrical impulses in the brain.
Joyce has a lot to work out, and I hope she does. She’s asking the right questions, at least.
As for your mom, I’m very sorry. I have a tremendously strained relationship to my mother, due to her abuse of me, abandonment of my family, and her extreme mental illness and meth addiction, but I know that when she’s gone, it’s still going to be very painful. I hope that I can be as big as you have been about it.
Obligatory atheist snark: I don’t know this whole song, but I’m on board with all the lyrics that made it into today’s comic. Kinda makes me wonder if Joyce is hearing it both ways now.
I’m kinda surprised they don’t use those chairs in actual churches. Seems like they’d work great at making you feel small (whether you want to or not).
Well, the problem is that those chairs aren’t cost-efficient. The great advantage of pews is that they’re super simple pieces of woodworking and they seat lots of people.
And also, the point of church is “brotherhood”, not humility.
It’s a sad fact of life that the older you get, the more you lose the people you love. As someone who has lost three generations — great grandparents, grandparents, parents — I have to report it doesn’t get better. It gets worse.
First and most importantly, Mr. Willis my deepest condolences for your loss.
Second, I’ve been where Joyce is here (well, without the fundie baggage but still) and solitary practice is honestly a very hard path especially for a religion like Christianity where everything is traditionally built around community.
Christianity is doable alone, because a lot of the practice that involves other people doesn’t require that they also be Christian. That’s a decent part of why it was easy to spread: a single missionary can plant a new church. It’s hard, definitely, because it requires strong willpower, but it’s very doable.
Frasier: Mrs. Moon, you have my personal guarantee that this will not be a Godless union. For if you truly believe in the omniscience and omnipresence of the Lord, then surely are we not always in His presence?
Gertrude: No, He lives at the church.
In a sense, Willis lost his mother some time back. But there was always that hope that maybe someday, she’d come back and be the mother she needed to be. A slim hope to be sure (possibly on par with winning the lottery), but still there.
Now the loss has been made permanent. Now the hope is gone. Now the final goodbye has been said.
To Willis: I’m sorry for your loss back then, and I’m sorry that the hope never came to be realised. I’m sorry your mother could not be the mother you needed, the person she needed to be. I’m sorry her mind was completely poisoned by her church.
I will not tell you to remember her with kindness, nor with anger. I have not the right to do that kind of thing. I was never in your shoes; and even if I had been, what I chose does not mean it should be your choice.
All I can do, as a stranger on the internet, is to offer you my sympathy.
When my mother died, “my condolences” became empty by the fiftieth time someone said it. Though well-meaning and sincere, such platitudes were not helpful.
David, I could not find the right words to say how much we, your fans, care about you and how we wish we could make everything better. Emperor Norton’s words are close to what I was trying to express.
Thank you, Emperor Norton II, for saying what I could not.
Ditto what you said. Three times I tried to write something like “sorry for your loss” or “condolences” or whatnot and it just felt as trite and rote and meaningless as an unfunny Hallmark card with a blank interior no one bothered to write in.
Mr. Willis, if you’re reading this, know that we want the best for you. We hope that time will see you through this and we offer any support you feel like accepting.
Thank you, Emperor Norton II. I wasn’t sure how to address… anything, but you put it very well.
Willis, I can only guess how you’ve felt about your mother passing. I don’t know if sympathy and well wishes from your readers brings you any comfort while you’re going through this. But you’ve got them, from many people, and I sincerely hope that helps. And if it doesn’t, well, tomorrow will be business as usual, right?
Mr Willis you do amazing work that makes the world that little bit better for many other people, loss is a bongo and I’m sorry you are going through it.
My condolences, Willis. I lost my father 13 years ago. It took me years to even accept that he wasn’t there anymore. It gets better after a decade or so.
Sorry for your loss. If there’s any time you need to take as a break, please feel free to take it. Thanks for pouring so much of yourself into your work.
Damn, i used to really like that song. But singing it as an atheist feels wrong… like, in a sense, like a lie.
Also maybe in a sense i still imagine God listening, while s*he knows i don’t mean it and that feels mean, you know?
I'm sorry, Willis. I hope you and your family have a peaceful time dealing with this. I'm not really sure what else to say, so sympathy via internet comment.
Sincere condolences for your loss. She’ll always be with you, in your heart and in your memory, nothing can take that away. Mourn, but remember the good times.
I’m very sorry for your loss. Been there. I wish you healing and recovery from your grief. <3
I've seen you say that Joyce is autobiographical, and I find it funny, because I feel like everything about her is based on me at her age. (Except her family… my religious nuttiness was rebellion…) I even looked like her. Haha… oh, her journey is especially hitting some nerves right now! Even her approach to cussing!
I ended up becoming a Universalist/passive deist/hippy dippy new age weirdo.
Sorry about your mum Willis. I’ll make sure to appreciate the hell outta mine to honor her passing. Sounds corny as fuck but at least it’s something good is comin outta something bad.
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I always preferred the Scorpions version of this song.
That is a good one to prefer, I agree…
Whereas–
No-no, no, no, no, no-no-no, no, no-no, no, no-no
Na-no, no, na-no, no-no, na-no, no-no, no, no-no, no
Nobody can do the (Shing-a-ling) like I do
Nobody can do the (Skate) like I do
Nobody can do (Boogaloo) like I do
Nobody can do (Philly) like I do
Ooooooh, yeah
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody–The Human Beinz
https://youtu.be/pO6k5qk9huE?t=66
*God interjects* “yeah but technically you can poop anywhere, too, doesn’t mean I want you to do that”
Joyce: “OH SHIT”
God: “NO NOT HERE”
[sorry for your loss Willis]
I thoroughly second the condolences.
I third them. My condolences.
Nothing funny to say today.
**moment of silence**
I am really bad at this but…. *HUGS*
Loss sucks…. My condolences aslo.
Jokes aside, if the words of Jesus in the actual Bible are to be trusted, it’s better to worship in private than among others in something like a church. Something about hypocrites, wasn’t it?
And jeez, yeah, condolences to Willis…
this is a good comparison!
I didn’t wanna say anything before cause I didn’t feel it was my place as some rando on the internet, but I’ve been reading your stuff since Roomies was in its original run and I feel like all the enjoyment I’ve gotten out of your work over the years outweighs any awkwardness on that front.
So. My heart goes out to you in this sad time. *hugs*
Darn those emotionally-manipulative key changes. 🙂
I’ve been waiting for the Joyce singing face since it was on tumblr. Worth it.
I’ve been following your twitterlog about your mom’s funeral. Condolences from our home.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Willis.
My sincerest condolences, Willis. Been there, done that with my mom about four years ago. She was almost 90, and I was past 60, and we both knew no one lives forever, but it didn’t make it any easier or any less of a loss. Treasure the memories.
Mine died fourteen years ago. Her mum and grandma had both lived into their nineties, so we expected her to as well; but she got colon cancer and they didn’t catch it in time. So she was only sixty-six.
Gods I miss her.
Get your colonoscopies, kids!! And your mammograms! My breast cancer last year was caught in time. Screenings save lives.
–My deepest condolences, Willis. It sucks, it sucks hard. *hugs* (if wanted)
On a less “I’m trying to be funny note,” I’m sincerely sorry for your loss, Mr. Willis.
Sorry for your loss, but after listening to that song… gotta say, South Park kinda hit the nail on the head with being able to swap a romantic song for God/Jesus and having about the same song at the end.
This one is still the gold standard for me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV9qD0Z0WuM
You just swap “Jesus” with “baby”.
Works the other way too, heh. There’s been more than one monk who got caught writing poems about sneaking over the wall to his lover who got out of it by going, “No; Jesus!!” XD
Loreena McKinnet turned one into a song…
Hey, it’s canonical.
The Song of Solomon is really a metaphor about God and Israel or Jesus and the Church, depending. Sure it is.
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” ….. Matt 18:20 (KJV)
Sounds like Joyce needs one or two more Christians and zero understanding of Rule 34.
#sorrynotsorry
Loooonely
I was Joyce once. This strip… this is pretty real.
Like, there was a point in time where I was leading the music for a small church and my faith had died, but I still knew where to really ramp up that key change to get em praising.
The same. It’s all showmanship at a point. One of the moments my mom is most proud of is one of my worst. The Youth choir was supposed to perform a song for the Easter celebration and when it came time, the music CD started skipping and they couldn’t get it to stop. After the third time, I lead the other kids in a musicless version of the song, cause they just needed a strong voice to follow. They were used to keying off of me anyway. At this point, I was already past the point I had looked at it all and decided it held nothing for me, but you can’t exactly tell your parents that when they are the youth ministers at your church. All these people came up telling me how the holy spirit moved through me and all that jazz, and I’m just nodding and playing along. It was…frankly my best moment of deception in my entire life. And it kinda makes me miserable.
You have a supernatural power for infiltration. It can be used for great good, if you aim it in the right direction.
Hey Delicious Taffy, can you please tell me what the disorder you talked about last page? I NEED to know, my OCD won’t let it go. If I give you my email will you please tell me what it’s called.
It really doesn’t feel appropriate, today.
Then why did you bring it up, if you’re not willing to talk about it? That makes no sense.
Seems to me that there is no disorder and you’re just making it up to mess with people.
Really, the vast majority of dishonesty comes from just not disagreeing with someone who’s wrong. And that’s okay. No one can live in such a way as to explain themselves adequately to everyone. There’s nothing evil about this. It’s not deception; it’s accepting that you have personal limits, and those limits mean that people will believe things that are untrue about you.
I had a moment like this that helped me towards realizing the church wasn’t for me. I was already shaky on beliefs, but my dear friend, the priest of the (Episcopal) congregation, strongly encourages that. But being a literature professor, he also encourage reading poetry like poetry, even in the Bible. So I took him at his word, and one Sunday, put my considerable public speaking skills and poetry experience to use on the Gospel of John.
People told me all manner of spiritual things had happened to me/them. People told me to go to seminary. (Not the priest. He was like, “It’s all the pretension of academia without the substance. Stick with university.”) I was flabbergasted. Guys . . . it’s not the spirit, it’s charisma and knowing how to project. You CANNOT be this easy.
But they were.
I no longer wonder as much about con men who get away with scale.
Damn, I was hoping you were going to say “…to use on the Song of Solomon.”
Child of a church organist, here.
Nothing eroded my ability to believe quite like knowing all the musical tricks in the book to tug on heartstrings in every way, or how pointless it is to make music such a central feature of worship – “divinely-inspired music!” – when most all the popular hymn melodies are so simple. So many pieces of sacred music get preferential treatment for purely musical and not lyrical reasons, just like the secular ones. They’re not significantly different at all, except in word choice.
At the end of the day, music and even lyrics are both just a mix of nostalgia and ASMR, triggering a psychosomatic response. You can do the same thing with electrical impulses in the brain.
Joyce has a lot to work out, and I hope she does. She’s asking the right questions, at least.
As for your mom, I’m very sorry. I have a tremendously strained relationship to my mother, due to her abuse of me, abandonment of my family, and her extreme mental illness and meth addiction, but I know that when she’s gone, it’s still going to be very painful. I hope that I can be as big as you have been about it.
Poor Joyce. It’s so hard to process, to even know what to *try* to do when your foundation gets so shaken…
Obligatory atheist snark: I don’t know this whole song, but I’m on board with all the lyrics that made it into today’s comic. Kinda makes me wonder if Joyce is hearing it both ways now.
If you ignore the references to Jesus, a surprising amount of contemporary Christian music songs sound like pop love songs.
I’m kinda surprised they don’t use those chairs in actual churches. Seems like they’d work great at making you feel small (whether you want to or not).
You mean kinda like this?
And that’s the truth!
Well, the problem is that those chairs aren’t cost-efficient. The great advantage of pews is that they’re super simple pieces of woodworking and they seat lots of people.
And also, the point of church is “brotherhood”, not humility.
I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.
It’s a sad fact of life that the older you get, the more you lose the people you love. As someone who has lost three generations — great grandparents, grandparents, parents — I have to report it doesn’t get better. It gets worse.
I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a parent shakes your world, doesn’t it.
Rest in peace
I wonder what Joyce’s singing voice is like.
I’ve been imagining she sounds sorta like Shirley Manson.
*Googles* Hmm! I can see that. Joyce as the lead singer for a rock band would definitely be interesting.
But that begs the question: Christian Rock or something else?
“Can’t ya see you’re not makin’ Christianity better? You’re just makin’ rock and roll worse.” -Hank Hill
That said, I could easily see Joyce singing for a Garbage-esque band with Christian influence in the lyrics.
I’ve always put her somewhere in “amateur, less talented Debby Boone” territory. As evidence, I present this performance of “You Light Up My Life” from the early 80s.
So sorry, Willis.
I’m sorry, Willis.
Condolences 😢
First and most importantly, Mr. Willis my deepest condolences for your loss.
Second, I’ve been where Joyce is here (well, without the fundie baggage but still) and solitary practice is honestly a very hard path especially for a religion like Christianity where everything is traditionally built around community.
Christianity is doable alone, because a lot of the practice that involves other people doesn’t require that they also be Christian. That’s a decent part of why it was easy to spread: a single missionary can plant a new church. It’s hard, definitely, because it requires strong willpower, but it’s very doable.
OK, so I just have to interrupt the normal commentary to mention the following.
In one of the Discord servers I am on, I have found a girl called Jocelyne (Or Josie for short).
And her dead name?
Joshua.
Life imitates Willis.
Life is poetic, sometimes
which can be a real bummer on days like today
I’m so sorry for your loss, Willis. Sending internet hugs if you want them.
Condolences
Sorry about your mom. Take care of yourself and your family.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Frasier: Mrs. Moon, you have my personal guarantee that this will not be a Godless union. For if you truly believe in the omniscience and omnipresence of the Lord, then surely are we not always in His presence?
Gertrude: No, He lives at the church.
This comic, the meaning behind it, and a lot of the discussion were all making me sad. This made me smile, thanks.
And Willis, I truly don’t know what to say that won’t just sound empty and trite, but I hope you know that I feel for you right now.
My nana always told me that singing a prayer counts double. I’m sorry for your loss.
Your nana must have read St. Augustine.
My condolences.
The worst part of aging for me is losing elder loved ones. Drip, drip, drip.
*Krnk*
OK, my heart just broke.
Sorry for your loss, Willis.
I’m sorry, Willis. Good luck with the days to come.
In a sense, Willis lost his mother some time back. But there was always that hope that maybe someday, she’d come back and be the mother she needed to be. A slim hope to be sure (possibly on par with winning the lottery), but still there.
Now the loss has been made permanent. Now the hope is gone. Now the final goodbye has been said.
To Willis: I’m sorry for your loss back then, and I’m sorry that the hope never came to be realised. I’m sorry your mother could not be the mother you needed, the person she needed to be. I’m sorry her mind was completely poisoned by her church.
I will not tell you to remember her with kindness, nor with anger. I have not the right to do that kind of thing. I was never in your shoes; and even if I had been, what I chose does not mean it should be your choice.
All I can do, as a stranger on the internet, is to offer you my sympathy.
When my mother died, “my condolences” became empty by the fiftieth time someone said it. Though well-meaning and sincere, such platitudes were not helpful.
David, I could not find the right words to say how much we, your fans, care about you and how we wish we could make everything better. Emperor Norton’s words are close to what I was trying to express.
Thank you, Emperor Norton II, for saying what I could not.
Ditto what you said. Three times I tried to write something like “sorry for your loss” or “condolences” or whatnot and it just felt as trite and rote and meaningless as an unfunny Hallmark card with a blank interior no one bothered to write in.
Mr. Willis, if you’re reading this, know that we want the best for you. We hope that time will see you through this and we offer any support you feel like accepting.
Thank you, Emperor Norton II. I wasn’t sure how to address… anything, but you put it very well.
Willis, I can only guess how you’ve felt about your mother passing. I don’t know if sympathy and well wishes from your readers brings you any comfort while you’re going through this. But you’ve got them, from many people, and I sincerely hope that helps. And if it doesn’t, well, tomorrow will be business as usual, right?
I think Joyce is understanding the concept of deism or pantheism, but she is really sad and probably doesn’t care about philosophical concepts.
Sorry for what happened, Willis.
Oh, Joyce! Please never stop being such a wonderful soul filled with joy, beauty and love!
Oh, and Willis? My honest condolences to you and my family.
Ugh. I meant ‘your’ family, of course. That’s what you get for posting pre-coffee. sorry about that.
You have my condolences. I hope you and your family take care.
Mr Willis you do amazing work that makes the world that little bit better for many other people, loss is a bongo and I’m sorry you are going through it.
Condolences on the loss of your mother, Willis.
Lost my mother and father recently so I can sympathise. I went to grief counseling which saw me through the worst. YMMV.
My condolences, Willis. I lost my father 13 years ago. It took me years to even accept that he wasn’t there anymore. It gets better after a decade or so.
My condolences for your loss, Willis. :/
Sorry for your loss. If there’s any time you need to take as a break, please feel free to take it. Thanks for pouring so much of yourself into your work.
As long as your mom lives in your heart and in your memories, she’s never truly gone. And you can live well knowing how proud of you she is. Be well.
Sorry for the lose of your mother. All my best to you and your family.
Watching Joyce’s worldview crumbling piece by piece is heartbreaking 🙁
Think of it as a shell, cracking and flaking away. She’s hatching. Birth is always a little painful, but she can’t continue to grow while it’s there.
So sorry to hear about your mom, Willis.
Oh I’m so sorry Willis much love and we’ll wishes for you and your family.
Be well, Willis. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. What she has given you will never go away, and you will carry your shared time – and her love – with you always.
May her memory always be a blessing.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss.
my condolences to you, willis, sending hugs your way
Sheesh just want to hug her
My condolences to you and your family, Willis.
is she shrinking or is that chair getting bigger every time I see it?
Heart breaking for Joyce. I really hope she can find a way to start over with God, on terms that aren’t determined by the controlling and neurotic.
Heart also breaking for Willis. The only thought I can think to offer there is: may you find some form of peace.
With respect and sorrow for your loss, Willis. The Don Moen video you posted has no key change at all.
like joyce, you have to imagine it
Damn, i used to really like that song. But singing it as an atheist feels wrong… like, in a sense, like a lie.
Also maybe in a sense i still imagine God listening, while s*he knows i don’t mean it and that feels mean, you know?
Sympathies from another who has known that loss.
Seven years on, I can tell you that the pain lessens but the (good) memories remain.
That’s me in the cube chair / losin’ my religion
Oh, Joyce. Honey. </3
I'm sorry, Willis. I hope you and your family have a peaceful time dealing with this. I'm not really sure what else to say, so sympathy via internet comment.
Sorry for your loss 🙁
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and any who have felt the loss from your mother’s passing.
Sorry for your loss from across the ocean, David…
*Hug with a baguette*
Sorry about your mother, sir. That just stinks.
Sincere condolences for your loss. She’ll always be with you, in your heart and in your memory, nothing can take that away. Mourn, but remember the good times.
Long time lurker…
I’m very sorry for your loss. Been there. I wish you healing and recovery from your grief. <3
I've seen you say that Joyce is autobiographical, and I find it funny, because I feel like everything about her is based on me at her age. (Except her family… my religious nuttiness was rebellion…) I even looked like her. Haha… oh, her journey is especially hitting some nerves right now! Even her approach to cussing!
I ended up becoming a Universalist/passive deist/hippy dippy new age weirdo.
I'm rooting for you, Joyce! <3
Sorry about your mum Willis. I’ll make sure to appreciate the hell outta mine to honor her passing. Sounds corny as fuck but at least it’s something good is comin outta something bad.
At that age, I had no understanding of what a key change *was*. At 58, still working on hearing them. So, good on Joyce.
I’m so sorry for your loss Willis. Hang in there.
🙁
Reading this a day late, but sorry for your loss DYW.
I’m reading this late too…
I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry.
When you lose a parent, it’s losing part of the landscape of your entire world.
I am very sorry 🙁
Condolences