I’ll have you know that in space the universally recognized directions are “Up”, “Downish”, “Away from those smelly earthlings”, “Turn left when you see Glonfarb, he’ll be waving”, and “Peppermint”.
Women are simply men with wombs. It’s right there in the description and consistent with our drive to gender equality. So I say keep the “man” turns of phrase and apply them to women.
Eh, he’s in better shape than one would expect. He could keep up with Dorothy during the Amazi-Girl chase, which is kinda impressive for a couch potato.
Still, Joe’s obviously got like a head or more on him, broad shoulders, and probably the best physique short of Jacob in the comic, followed by I guess Ethan. We need a chart for the body types.
Its always more useful to be stronger then it is to be weaker and visible abs are only cosmetic. I’ll take a useful strong dead lift over visible abs anyday.
Sure, he doesn’t have Joe’s shoulders. Or his size.
And he wouldn’t, no matter how much he worked out.
Do we have any particular reason to think Walky’s physically weak beyond just being small?
Or are we just bashing him here for not meeting he-man physical standards?
Well he doesn’t play sports or exercise (or I missed something) and he has unhealthy eating habits so while it doesn’t prove it beyond reasonable doubt it’s probably a decent bet that hes probably weaker than the average 18 year old
Without the plot armor that always made his assholishness somehow turn out to be for the best and also some kind of convoluted machiavellian scheme, he’s just a regular teenage edgelord imo. He gets a millimeter of sympathy because of alternate universe Mike, and there’s something potentially interesting about how he clearly seems jealous that Ethan quickly moved on. But otherwise, boring and mostly irrelevant.
Depends on what you want, and what you consider being an asshole. Blaine could certainly be doing better as far as he is concerned, though obviously, I’d argue he’s living better than he deserves.
She’s was a hot mess during the majority of the time she was on screen, but at least she has the excuse of PTSD that comes from being cracked while trapped in a mirror which in turn was trapped inside of Pearl’s pearl which could not be too healthy for her when you are aware of the many deep seated issues Pearl had.
IME, late 90s, and it’s actually gotten somewhat better since then… The level of edgy shitheadery at least has gone way down even though the level of politically-oriented anger has gone up on all fronts.
It sure seems like all the “I’m 14 and this is edgy” nonsense has been concentrated to a few discussion boards since the heyday of Newgrounds and PHP discussion forums. (Or maybe I just haven’t come across it since becoming Old.) I bet it was even worse on BBSes and Usenet.
While women’s bbs boards were mostly actually women and the guys who dropped in regardless were rather easy to get rid of, it started to be a zoo once the bbs-boards were moved to usenet. Not sure if that was only because there were so many more people involved or if it was that most of the new ones never heard of nettiquette or couldn’t care less. About a year after the move, if you wanted to have a women’s discussion board, you started a closed mailing list, as usenet groups were like having a discussion on Times Square two hours after the new year hit.
Probably because you don’t hang out on the chans and reddit.
For all the old toxicity, Usenet and BBSes didn’t spawn political movements and hate groups.
That’s what I meant to say. It used to be harder to find extremism online, when the net was a chaotic web of independently run discussion boards and modern social networking didn’t exist. For better or worse, the Internet has become a mostly homogenized platform. “It’s just the Internet, don’t take it seriously” went away with this shift. 14-year-old edge seems to have become easier to find, more concentrated, and more toxic than ever. Newgrounds, Something Awful, and Fark all seem relatively benign compared to today’s toxicity.
Cyrano:
And if my nature wants the germ that grows
Towering to heaven like the mountain pine,
Or like the oak, sheltering multitudes-
I stand, not high it may be- But alone!
Le Bret:
Alone, yes! But why stand against the world?
What devil has possessed you now, to go
Everywhere making yourself enemies?
Cyrano:
Watching you other people making friends
Everywhere- as a dog makes friends! I mark
The manner of these canine courtesies
And think: “My friends are of a cleaner breed;
Here comes- Thank God! – another enemy!”
Hard to fault Walky for not wanting to have a hard conversation or for not knowing where his sister is (especially since I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t have her phone number). That said, dude, you’re gonna have to talk to her eventually.
I’ve always liked Malaya! I can acknowledge she can say and do shitty things in both verses and I wouldn’t want to deal with her, and still like her as a character.
I don’t get it either. Maybe it’s because she’s blunt and sometimes tactless, but her assholeishness doesn’t service the plot as much as some other assholes’ assholeishness so it comes across as unnecessarily mean?
Different people have different ideas of what the worst kind of person’s personality is like and different things amuse them. Mike tends not to bother me at all times, sometimes I even find him funny while I know I would hate him in real life while other people cannot stand him remotely when he appears for 5 seconds.
Malaya, I can’t stand remotely. She grates on my every nerve. The be mean until someone gives you a reason to be nice attitude goes against my core principles so strongly I have 0 tolerance for her.
I wouldn’t say other horrible people or horrible actions do get a ‘pass’ though – most of them are called out on it in the comments to some extent.
Oh, certainly, and Ruth has expressed no interest in him, or Dina, or any number of characters. I’m talking new ones to him, going by the annoyance/delight various people had about it happening. It’s I guess scandalous for like 3-4 women to be attracted to Walky, but not the tons who like Jacob, the similar number who have shown interest in Danny, or the dozens who have boned Joe.
Those characters are at least comprehensibly desirable because they wash their clothes on a regular basis and their personalities aren’t permanently suspended in middle school.
Or walky and Sal’s under Linda’s…
Or Becky under Ross
Or Joyce under…her entire town?
Or Ruth under Clint
Or Billie not under her parents
I could go on for days
“Hi everyone,”
“Hi Joyce,”
“Isn’t it strange how all our parents are mysteriously absent, and how we will never reference them, nor their impact on our lives, ever again?”
“Sure is, Joyce.”
Ooh, now I get it. I was parsing the sentence wrong. I was reading it as “(being a) (man deferred)” when I should have been reading it as “(being a man) (deferred)”, and didn’t understand what was so great about being a deferred man.
probably en route or something. I don’t imagine she’d leave Marcie hanging after having been so intent on mending things with her. I doubt Marcie would hate her being late or anything, but it wouldn’t be a good look to blow off something important to her.
Does he lock up
To stay the favorite son?
Or see her on the floor–
And then run.
Does he then decide to cheat?
Or try to send a message
Via some vague Tweet?
As much as I don’t like Malaya (And I really really don’t like her), I still think her affection for Marcie is genuine, without an ulterior motive, and as far as I can remember, she’s never been abusive towards her.
Marcie seemed to be in shock in those scenes, though she shrugged it off after. I wouldn’t read that as Marcie not caring. More putting a brave face on it when she could.
Which doesn’t mean that Malaya had any clue that Marcie was interested and thus might be hurt.
For me, the big revelation of this strip is just how strong is Walky’s aversion to being mentally and emotionally mature. It seems to be almost causing him physical pain!
I don’t see it.
He’s reacting to the prospect of talking to Sal about this, which is completely understandable, not to some abstract “being mentally and emotionally mature”.
I’d have trouble psyching myself up for that, though I’m old enough not to be so dramatic about it.
No it doesn’t, being an adult is great. Growing up decisions were made for me, basically no real choices in my life but now I get to choose what I want to do, when I want to do it and the repercussions of those decisions are all mine.
Us retired people get to do what we want. Adults, not so much. The best thing about second childhood is no parents around to fell you what you can’t do.
Well yeah, but this isn’t even particularly being immature, however much he talks about being a man.
This is a really hard thing he’s trying to do here. For anyone, not just for immature people.
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Walk(y)ed straight into that one
Yeah, don’t set people up like that if you don’t want the obvious punchline.
since when has he ever seen the obvious? 😀
Walky’s a master of the ob(li)vious!
The conversation can only go uphill from here .
you must be swift as a coursing riv—
You know, it can happen in just seven days.
So, two years irl?
That pesky time-warp again.
And seven nights?
And six long nights?
with all the force of a great typhoon?
Walky wins!
I’m a Lo~o~oser–and I’m not what I appear to be!
. . .This is a beautiful interaction. Also good on Wally for actually maning up. Now to see if he follows up on it and goes looking for Sal.
. . . Maning up. . . there has to be a better term for that that ain’t so male centric.
My uncle always used to say “Cowboy up”, but I guess that’s gendered too.
“Astronaut up” it is!
saddle up, pardner
But there is no “up” in space…
I’ll have you know that in space the universally recognized directions are “Up”, “Downish”, “Away from those smelly earthlings”, “Turn left when you see Glonfarb, he’ll be waving”, and “Peppermint”.
Just try navigating spacetime without them!
No wonder I’m always lost. I’m mixing up peppermint and spearmint.
There is “down,” though— it’s where the enemy’s gate is.
I was hoping this joke has been made in reply to that comment!
Oh, is that an Ender reference!?
Yes, and thanks to Xenocide for making another, less-well known one!
Lawyer up
Wait… no
Owning up? Being an adult? Growing a spine?
Growing a set? On, wait…
I’m still partial to grow a pair, because honestly, it applies to both testicles and ovaries.
“Grow a set of gonads.”
Gender up?
Women are simply men with wombs. It’s right there in the description and consistent with our drive to gender equality. So I say keep the “man” turns of phrase and apply them to women.
Why is “Maning up” considered to be “male centric”?
We are talking about a mane here!
And female lionesses don’t have one.
So like, what’s Walky wearing that puts him firmly in Dressed Like a Child territory anyway. Just looks like a letterman jacket to me.
I think it’s a reference to his physique, not his clothes. He ain’t exactly Joe.
Eh, he’s in better shape than one would expect. He could keep up with Dorothy during the Amazi-Girl chase, which is kinda impressive for a couch potato.
Still, Joe’s obviously got like a head or more on him, broad shoulders, and probably the best physique short of Jacob in the comic, followed by I guess Ethan. We need a chart for the body types.
Have you seen the “Looks like he was sculpted from caramel” strip?
He’s small though, despite being well sculpted. If you’re into tall and broad shouldered, Walky ain’t it.
What good is visible abs if you can’t lift anything heavy?
You can pick up without lifting anything.
Its always more useful to be stronger then it is to be weaker and visible abs are only cosmetic. I’ll take a useful strong dead lift over visible abs anyday.
Sure, he doesn’t have Joe’s shoulders. Or his size.
And he wouldn’t, no matter how much he worked out.
Do we have any particular reason to think Walky’s physically weak beyond just being small?
Or are we just bashing him here for not meeting he-man physical standards?
Well he doesn’t play sports or exercise (or I missed something) and he has unhealthy eating habits so while it doesn’t prove it beyond reasonable doubt it’s probably a decent bet that hes probably weaker than the average 18 year old
And yet all of those things lead away from the sculpted abs too.
Perhaps comic strip is not strictly realistic?
I think she’s referring to his behavior.
He’s short.
I was asking about his clothes but okay
In addition to his twinkish stature, Malaya is literally leaning forward to look him in the eyes like the “how to talk to short people” meme
Let’s just hope she gets through this without wanting to date him. That’s a nightmare none of us need.
judging by that downward glance i’d say she’s not interested
Plus I don’t see her wanting to dat and/or fool around with Someone who looks like Sal.
Oh, I definitely see Malaya wanting to fuck Sal’s brother. To annoy Sal if for no other reason.
Dating, though? Whyever should dating be on her mind?
Oooh I have not considered this!
Shipping Malaky now!
Ugh, Malaya. When did the internet get together and decide that being an asshole was a virtue? I must have missed that meeting.
What’s your opinion of Mike?
Also an asshole?
Without the plot armor that always made his assholishness somehow turn out to be for the best and also some kind of convoluted machiavellian scheme, he’s just a regular teenage edgelord imo. He gets a millimeter of sympathy because of alternate universe Mike, and there’s something potentially interesting about how he clearly seems jealous that Ethan quickly moved on. But otherwise, boring and mostly irrelevant.
The sad truth is that being an asshole, like crime often pays off.
Depends on what you want, and what you consider being an asshole. Blaine could certainly be doing better as far as he is concerned, though obviously, I’d argue he’s living better than he deserves.
Lapis would know.
She’s was a hot mess during the majority of the time she was on screen, but at least she has the excuse of PTSD that comes from being cracked while trapped in a mirror which in turn was trapped inside of Pearl’s pearl which could not be too healthy for her when you are aware of the many deep seated issues Pearl had.
IME, late 90s, and it’s actually gotten somewhat better since then… The level of edgy shitheadery at least has gone way down even though the level of politically-oriented anger has gone up on all fronts.
Yeah, my first instinct is to say that it predates the mainstreaming of the Internet, but I can’t think of examples to support or refute that.
It sure seems like all the “I’m 14 and this is edgy” nonsense has been concentrated to a few discussion boards since the heyday of Newgrounds and PHP discussion forums. (Or maybe I just haven’t come across it since becoming Old.) I bet it was even worse on BBSes and Usenet.
While women’s bbs boards were mostly actually women and the guys who dropped in regardless were rather easy to get rid of, it started to be a zoo once the bbs-boards were moved to usenet. Not sure if that was only because there were so many more people involved or if it was that most of the new ones never heard of nettiquette or couldn’t care less. About a year after the move, if you wanted to have a women’s discussion board, you started a closed mailing list, as usenet groups were like having a discussion on Times Square two hours after the new year hit.
Probably because you don’t hang out on the chans and reddit.
For all the old toxicity, Usenet and BBSes didn’t spawn political movements and hate groups.
That’s what I meant to say. It used to be harder to find extremism online, when the net was a chaotic web of independently run discussion boards and modern social networking didn’t exist. For better or worse, the Internet has become a mostly homogenized platform. “It’s just the Internet, don’t take it seriously” went away with this shift. 14-year-old edge seems to have become easier to find, more concentrated, and more toxic than ever. Newgrounds, Something Awful, and Fark all seem relatively benign compared to today’s toxicity.
Cyrano:
And if my nature wants the germ that grows
Towering to heaven like the mountain pine,
Or like the oak, sheltering multitudes-
I stand, not high it may be- But alone!
Le Bret:
Alone, yes! But why stand against the world?
What devil has possessed you now, to go
Everywhere making yourself enemies?
Cyrano:
Watching you other people making friends
Everywhere- as a dog makes friends! I mark
The manner of these canine courtesies
And think: “My friends are of a cleaner breed;
Here comes- Thank God! – another enemy!”
Roughly the same day that the GOP discovered it.
Holy crap, Malaya opened her mouth and what came out DIDN’T make me want to punch her.
That’s a new one.
Really? Because my reaction to her first question was “Did you forget that other people exist, Malaya? And that you have a roommate?”
She’s slipping: She speaks in three panels and forgot to drop even a nominal cuss word in the last one.
Does she want some caramel now?
Hard to fault Walky for not wanting to have a hard conversation or for not knowing where his sister is (especially since I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t have her phone number). That said, dude, you’re gonna have to talk to her eventually.
Also, I love Malaya.
It’s nice to see someone who loves Malaya who isn’t me. I don’t get why all the other assholes get a pass in the fan’s eyes, but she doesn’t.
I’ve always liked Malaya! I can acknowledge she can say and do shitty things in both verses and I wouldn’t want to deal with her, and still like her as a character.
I don’t get it either. Maybe it’s because she’s blunt and sometimes tactless, but her assholeishness doesn’t service the plot as much as some other assholes’ assholeishness so it comes across as unnecessarily mean?
I hate all of the other assholes too.
You’re the first person that came to mind when I read this strip:
“Man, Emily must be conflicted about this: she finally gets someone who doesn’t think Walky is the shit, and it’s MALAYA!”
I am so conflicted but I’m defaulting to “Fuck off, Malaya” because Walky is just an annoying and kinda gross doof and not a hateful shithead.
Different people have different ideas of what the worst kind of person’s personality is like and different things amuse them. Mike tends not to bother me at all times, sometimes I even find him funny while I know I would hate him in real life while other people cannot stand him remotely when he appears for 5 seconds.
Malaya, I can’t stand remotely. She grates on my every nerve. The be mean until someone gives you a reason to be nice attitude goes against my core principles so strongly I have 0 tolerance for her.
I wouldn’t say other horrible people or horrible actions do get a ‘pass’ though – most of them are called out on it in the comments to some extent.
Hell, I’m not sure anyone gets a pass in the comments these days. Even the not horrible people.
Maybe Dina?
Dina’s problematic because she’s appropriating dinasor culture uwu
Well he doesn’t have to be too worried about it, it wasn’t really his fault since he didn’t know.
?
About Amber stabbing Sal 5 years back. What else can I be talking about?
Walky thinks that after his conversation with Sal, he’ll probably have to break up with Amber. That’s enough to be sad/worried about.
I was excited to move away from Marcie and got served up a Malaya.
Huh, one of the few times I actually like Malaya.
There you go, a female castmember who doesn’t like Walky. That’ll save us a bunch of comments.
You underestimate the determination of shipbuilders.
Yep.
uh, you don’t have to look far, Sarah doesn’t like him, either.
Oh, certainly, and Ruth has expressed no interest in him, or Dina, or any number of characters. I’m talking new ones to him, going by the annoyance/delight various people had about it happening. It’s I guess scandalous for like 3-4 women to be attracted to Walky, but not the tons who like Jacob, the similar number who have shown interest in Danny, or the dozens who have boned Joe.
Those characters are at least comprehensibly desirable because they wash their clothes on a regular basis and their personalities aren’t permanently suspended in middle school.
If Willis ever does a middle-school reboot I would be SO THERE for it.
…of course, that would mean even less chance of escaping parental awfulness, so maybe things are for the best as they stand.
Yeah, do you really wanna see Amber’s life under Blaine’s thumb?
NOPE!!!
Or walky and Sal’s under Linda’s…
Or Becky under Ross
Or Joyce under…her entire town?
Or Ruth under Clint
Or Billie not under her parents
I could go on for days
First panel – the gang meet in the lunch area.
“Hi everyone,”
“Hi Joyce,”
“Isn’t it strange how all our parents are mysteriously absent, and how we will never reference them, nor their impact on our lives, ever again?”
“Sure is, Joyce.”
Sal under Linda’s would last about 5 strips before BBCC found a way to jump into the strip and murder Linda.
Well, there’s a happy ending!
I mean, you’re not WRONG. The Walkertons are both fuck off bad parents.
If I didn’t know better, I would think I was in any Manga or Anime ever.
I’m more shocked by the amount of people giving Danny the time of the day, really.
If I weren’t heinously gay Danny would be the literal only guy in this cast I would consider dating.
I appreciate that Sal wouldn’t want to do that with Malaya in the room, I really do. But it does beg the question where she is fucking.
Ugh…
‘beg the question OF where…’
At last check, a closet off the math classroom. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/altercation-2/
Before that, Jason’s office.
I don’t understand the joke because English isn’t my first language, but did Malaya roasted Walky?
Walky is basically saying “I don’t have to ‘be manly’ and talk to my sister”, and then Malaya agrees that he is not manly.
So yes, roasted.
Ooh, now I get it. I was parsing the sentence wrong. I was reading it as “(being a) (man deferred)” when I should have been reading it as “(being a man) (deferred)”, and didn’t understand what was so great about being a deferred man.
Yes. She does not find him an impressive specimen of Manhood.
She did. She called him childish.
“I’ll say” basically means “I agree with that”. Saying it in response to Walky’s accidental self-deprecation is basically a putdown.
Shouldn’t you be preparing for derby, Malaya ? (tho I guess Amber got there too early)
Might also just be for the noobs.
But then you got a really wonder where Sal is then.
probably en route or something. I don’t imagine she’d leave Marcie hanging after having been so intent on mending things with her. I doubt Marcie would hate her being late or anything, but it wouldn’t be a good look to blow off something important to her.
The voice talking to Amber in the last strip?
I was assuming that’s where Sal went, and I forgot until I read your comment that Malaya’s also on the same derby team.
This was smack-talking warmup.
Practice is only useful for those who are not yet perfect. I cannot see Malaya admitting to need to practice with anything that mattered to her.
What happens to a man deferred?
Does he lock up
To stay the favorite son?
Or see her on the floor–
And then run.
Does he then decide to cheat?
Or try to send a message
Via some vague Tweet?
Maybe he just nags
Those he thinks he’s owed.
Or does he implode?
(I know this is terrible and at parts might not totally make sense! But it’s all I could think of after reading this strip!)
Ba-dum, tish!
I love how Walky manages to completely autoburn, and Malaya is just there for the punchline.
I don’t like Malaya, but I gotta appreciate that burn.
There are less abrasive ways of saying “She’s not here.” But Malaya isn’t interested in being less abrasive.
For Malaya? No. This is now her room after all. Sal is only a guest and her friends and kin are only ever allowed in at Malaya’s sufferance.
Oh, Amazi-Girl? If you’re looking for a replacement Joker for your personal mythology, I think Sal may have found one.
I’m liking all these new interactions. That being said, what new friend will Fuckface make?
My bet’s on Dina
I still think it’s a 50/50 chance that she will either enjoy the company of Fuckface, or dismiss him as a non-dinosaur and leave in a huff.
I like that latter scenario. X-D
Walky, seriously: If you’re going to leave an open goal like that, you shouldn’t be surprised if Malaya takes a shot at it.
Hmmm… come to think of it, befriending Walky would open new avenues for Malaya to piss off Sal, so i assume that’s what will happen.
I’m not sure she has the right attitude for garbage roof, however.
“Befriending” is somewhat out of Malaya’s normal set of abilities. “Use for periodic sexual release and emotionally abuse” is closer to the mark.
As long as it pisses of Sal, I dare say she’s good.
As much as I don’t like Malaya (And I really really don’t like her), I still think her affection for Marcie is genuine, without an ulterior motive, and as far as I can remember, she’s never been abusive towards her.
Apart from, you know, actually asking Joe to have casual no-strings sex with her right in front of Marcie without a flicker of self-awareness.
Hey, has Marcie even told her she’s into girls? And even if she did, it’s not like she has a right to sleep with her, much less exclusively.
Paraphrasing Marcie on that issue: “Eh, whatever.” Seriously, that’s not a face of someone who gives a crap about Malaya fucking Joe or whomever.
That was Carla. “Welp, I’m out”
Marcie seemed to be in shock in those scenes, though she shrugged it off after. I wouldn’t read that as Marcie not caring. More putting a brave face on it when she could.
Which doesn’t mean that Malaya had any clue that Marcie was interested and thus might be hurt.
I meant in this strip (obvious, the “paraphrasing” was a metaphor): That is NOT the smile of someone who’s conflicted.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/03-faz-is-great/shrug/
Forgot to link the strip, because of course I did.
Maybe. The closeup looks that way, but the first panel doesn’t and the ones in the previous strips don’t.
There’s only one way to settle this: MORE MARCIE!
For me, the big revelation of this strip is just how strong is Walky’s aversion to being mentally and emotionally mature. It seems to be almost causing him physical pain!
Is it really that big revelation ? At first glance he’s just an unkempt slim 18 year old who still refuses to tie his shoes.
Added: His voice was described as high; he can sing and is probably a tenor.
Also at 2nd through 15th glance.
I don’t see it.
He’s reacting to the prospect of talking to Sal about this, which is completely understandable, not to some abstract “being mentally and emotionally mature”.
I’d have trouble psyching myself up for that, though I’m old enough not to be so dramatic about it.
If it was a one off sure but when you combine it with his other habits it reinforces the notion of him being a little boy that doesn’t want to grow up
I dont blame him. Adulting sucks.
No it doesn’t, being an adult is great. Growing up decisions were made for me, basically no real choices in my life but now I get to choose what I want to do, when I want to do it and the repercussions of those decisions are all mine.
Us retired people get to do what we want. Adults, not so much. The best thing about second childhood is no parents around to fell you what you can’t do.
Wally couldn’t adult his way out of a wet paper bag.
Okay, but I don’t see any big revelation here, that’s all.
Yeah, Walky being immature is about as much of a revelation as Joyce being religious.
Well yeah, but this isn’t even particularly being immature, however much he talks about being a man.
This is a really hard thing he’s trying to do here. For anyone, not just for immature people.
No! Someone finally broke it to Walky!
The topic has been broached before…
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/manliness/
It was that story line that made Joe my favorite character, the guys got more depth and maturity than most of the cast.
Hopefully we’ll see another appearance soon
That moment definitely solidified my contempt for Walky.
Good point
And here I thought another woman would think Walky was worth banging, and Malia would be the type to just pull him into the room for a banging.
Walk into that one you did, young Walkerton.
This was such a fine burn.