And this strip is being sponsored by the Koch brothers and the Republican party, who doesn’t want David Willis to live anymore. I hear the next letter bomb has Hasbro’s corporate HQ as the return address.
His interests are not messed up, but his priorities are. Like prioritizing intimacy with the dude who’s offering him comfort, instead of turning the conversation back to his interests. He’s only 18, though, it’s excusable.
Is it just me, or is Thad being kind of forward so far? I’m kinda weirded out with how fast this is moving. In fairness, though, I’d totally forgotten that he’s one of Ethan’s dormmates, so I guess it’s not *too* weird.
They’ve known each other for a few weeks, I figure, but I imagine some of this is related to what Mike said about how Ethan had options. Ethan’s hot stuff, so there’s maybe they’re trying to make a move while they can, plus just that, for a lot of LGBT folk, dating was really not an option in their home towns, so college is a time when they can sow their oats, and some of us take to that with panache.
That being said, comic time does make it difficult for me to tell sometimes just what speed stuff is or isn’t happening, so he could just be going too quick, which obviously would be an issue.
Not necessarily forward with the making out (if he’s had the hots for Ethan for a while), but kinda forward with the pressing for answers to quite personal questions without (so far as we’ve seen) checking if Ethan actually wants to talk about this incident, yes. It’s a bit rude.
Of course, if it was just a ploy because Thad figured that this was one subject he could bring up that wouldn’t morph into Ethan talking about Transformers, then he’s just discovering that finding such a ploy is a hopeless task.
forward doesn’t seem like the right word. the more uncomfortable thing to me is jumping right from reassuring someone about trauma to initiating makeouts. strikes me as opportunistic and concerning.
so I gather Thad was under the impression that Ethan’s Transformers obsession was PTSD-induced and thus his obsessive focus would be more understandable . . . and now he realizes no, Ethan’s just like that.
Some guys just don’t like to comb their hair. At all. My late brother always had a buzzcut, he used to tell me all he had to do to get ready in the morning was get his hair wet. Done. Meanwhile I’m the only guy in the -entire family- that likes to have long hair. Eh.
OR have we considered THIS reason:
Maybe Willis is just saving a lot of time just needing to draw a half circle instead of a whole hair style every panel?!
He could suffer from male pattern baldness, which can start from teens to early 20s, and just decided to shave it all off instead of deal with being a balding guy at 18.
The entire theme of Shortpacked! was essentially Ethan whining, “Why can’t I find a guy who I like, and who can stand me talking about Transformers all the ti – ooh, is that the new Chromedome skin?”
I’m wondering if Thad is turned off by the sudden nerdiness or if he is just surprised that is what went through Ethan’s mind at the time. I suppose it could be a little bit of both honestly.
Also, since I suspect Mike does does actually have feelings for Ethan(even if he can’t openly admit it, event to himself) how will he react to Ethan suddenly being with someone else?
Let’s face it, Ethan can deal with the emotional consequences of an assault. Amber couldn’t, but she only became insane because of Blaine’s bullying. Too much to think about.
Actually, Ethan is doing surprisingly well. Being able to deal with an experience like that so fast (yes, five years is fast) is impressive, especially since he was a child. Being kind of messed up after an experience like this is pretty much normal. Blaine probably didn’t help though.
Yeah but even with counselling, being so completely at peace with having been in mortal danger after such a (relatively) short time is impressive. It’s not some magic thing that solves everything instantly.
Oy, please don’t use the i-word. Not nice. Not good.
(I have mental illnesses. I even have DID — yeah, that thing that Amber has — and I very much disagree with the use of the i-word. Thanks. I’m not “insane”, I’m dealing with stuff. Stuff that you should be thankful you don’t have to deal with.)
And yeah obviously Blaine is why she couldn’t deal with anything. She didn’t have a safe harbor to unload. We all need that. I had the same issue. Now I’m working on finally unloading and sorting through all of my luggage.
Wait, but what’s wrong with ‘insane’? I’ve never heard anyone object to that before, and even as someone who qualifies for that descriptor, never felt demeaned by it.
It’s a differs from person to person thing, particularly if it’s been used against them in the past as a negative.
The thing with a lot of the ableist language stuff is that most of us impacted have different reactions to words and such – pretty much everyone agrees that That Word Starting With R has been used as an insult too much for too long to have any business in vocabulary, but a lot of the others can be debatable. (‘Stupid’, for instance. Started clinical, isn’t anymore, and while I don’t think we should really be calling other people the word I FAR prefer it to ‘special’ as short for special education and don’t want that spreading any further than it has already. If it’s stupid or whatever’s euphemism treadmilled next that is in current clinical use, I’ll take stupid.) That sort of debate is there over every word, insane included, that’s been used to describe mental illness and disability pretty much ever, because all of them have been used as perjoratives against SOMEONE for whom it’s personal, and many have a reclamation versus dump it entirely debate on top of things.
I think something too is that insane has specific kinds of connotations that have been perpetuated throughout media that paint mentally ill people in a bad light. When used as a legal term to decide a person’s responsibility, it’s arguing that a person was in a state of mental incapacity and that they did not have full control over themselves. And there’s very specific characters that are attached to this label that pop up whenever it’s brought up- the Joker, Norman Bates, Gollum, Jack Torrance, etc.
It’s no longer a medical diagnosis, but a legal term, and it refers to the mental capacity or lack thereof to determine responsibility for one’s actions (and that has its own problems), and has gross connotations of being tied to universally violent, raving madmen incapable of rational thought or actions and carries the stigma that anyone labeled with it needs to be institutionalized, so I dunno. In general, it’s bad form.
Especially in this context because Amber didn’t become “insane” because of Blaine’s abuse. She is still in capacity for her actions, although her capacity is limited in some ways due to her mental illness. She’s struggling, but she’s still holding on.
People are going to continue to describe these things colloquially and they’re going find words to use for it. Some have gained connotations that are bad enough to warrant booting from polite usage, but at the same time we can’t drop every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense.
I don’t think “stupid” was ever clinical though or at least didn’t start that way. Near as I can tell, it came to English from Latin by way of French back in the 1500s, in pretty much the modern colloquial sense.
I don’t think that ‘every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense’ is the same as ‘words that have a more negative than positive history with specific marginalized groups’.
You’re kind of pulling a slippery slope argument here, though, since literally no one said “drop every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense”. Yes, there is never not going to be language used in a negative or insulting way. That’s just how it’s going to be. But there are terms that are more harmful than others with worse connotations, and like Regalli was saying, a lot of words are debatable and how “bad” they are depends on the individual.
But there’s really no harm at all if you take the time to remove those more harmful phrases from your vocabulary. And like.. it’s not going to kill you to not use specific words around specific people if they find it offensive. It’s not about drawing a line, it’s about showing consideration for other people.
There are definitely people who argue for dropping all ableist language out there. I personally have trouble agreeing, since there’s the aforementioned euphemism treadmill issue (I saw a serious spike in ‘special’ as a perjorative implying low intelligence once the r word started being socially unacceptable,) but also because there are so many words people legitimately don’t realize had clinical use. (And that’s before we get into how all of that ties into racism because eugenics ties those two together.) There’s also a definite ‘okay but the people reading your thinkpiece are very likely to also be disabled themselves in ways where words are hard and we have trouble changing ours, so maybe this is not the most workable plan for all words?’
It’s a complicated argument we’re having amongst ourselves and will continue to have for some time, but I think the things everyone can agree on are that a handful of words need to be retired outside clinical use (hey there ‘paychotic’,) you only get to reclaim the ones that apply directly to you, and generally speaking not using them on other people is the better option unless you know that’s how they describe themselves. So generally speaking, saying Blaine drove Amber insane is not the best term. Caused some kind of dissociative break or something, sure, lasting psychological damage certainly, but ‘drove her insane’ is really loaded and I can see why it had some reactions even if I’m willing to reclaim crazy for myself in some circumstances.
That’s very true, although to be clear, I was specifically referring to this comment thread not bringing up dropping negative terms as a serious suggestion. It’s still under debate, like you’ve said, and there probably will never be an agreement about it.
But I don’t think it’s very helpful to go, “Well, we can’t just drop every bad term! We have to draw the line somewhere!!” as a response to the suggestion that there’s.. debate over ableist language. Especially given there’s a specific context in mind, in this case, this entire thread over the term “insane”. I agree with you about the euphemism issue and reclaiming words being a personal affair (hello LGBT discourse). But, y’know, we already alter our vocabulary and way of speaking a lot depending on who we’re speaking to. All I’m saying is it’s not unreasonable to keep on doing that, instead of insisting there has to be a line.
Didn’t originate as clinical, but was used by psychologists formally to describe patients.
Sometimes I really want to go back in time with a punching robot and set it loose on the entire eugenics movement. Fuck causality and paradoxes and all that shit, if I come back to a timeline in which I never existed then at least I’ll get to see a robot punch some assholes first.
You know, I read a lot of laughter about Ethan’s adorkability and love of Transformers… but this might be taking it too far? Maybe he’s not as well adjusted as we think. Maybe he’s retreating into a fantasy world where everyone is giant and metal and immune to knives? Maybe Ethan goes to Transformers whenever he’s under stress?
I think Ethan also had some borderline hoarder/obsessive tendencies that went a little bit beyond just being geeky and that was part of the boyfriend’s concern as well?
I mean, Ethan does have precedent for engaging in unhealthy behaviors, like all of the fights he got into with customers/online fans over different aspects of Transformers, to the point where it bled into his personal life as well IIRC. Sure, it’s not as dramatic as Amber’s shift into AG, but y’know. Something to think about.
That boyfriend also had his own issues, taking minimalism to extremes and utterly failing to compromise. He couldn’t stand to have a single toy on display. Iirc that ended with “maybe a framed photo… In a closet”
It probably served as a safe hideout after the robbery, basically because it is safe. As long as he doesn’t retreat into this world completely, that’s not a bad thing. Creating a safe space in your head where you can go when everything is overwhelming can be part of a therapy. If a therapist found an already existing safe space, it’s possible he/she used it.
Problems start if you start to disconnect yourself from the real world. Like, neglecting friends or family or responsibilities.
Distraction as a coping technique is definitely a thing!
And really, Walkyverse Ethan had enough income he was living on his own for large chunks of the strip and could pay his share of the bills when he lived with a group. Things never got to the point where he couldn’t store things, he couldn’t foresee the absurdly huge line while friend is in labor incident (and wasn’t asked in anyway after he made it in time,) it’s just that that boyfriend wasn’t a good match for toy collecting nerd aesthetic. (And hey, some people just don’t want that many fake eyes on them while they’re making out.) If DOA Ethan manages everything as well as Walkyverse Ethan once he’s paying for everything, I’d still say he’s fine.
Ethan’s always been a huge nerd but the past several panels have shown him leaning a little too much into Transformers, like it’s the only thing he can talk about whenever /feelings/ come up. Oh boy. I see a storm a-coming.
Thank you! Yes, this sounds like a poor coping mechanism, and I fear someone will hand wave it away as part of Aspergers. Not every social deficiency or anxiety problem is actually rooted in OCD! There are other stressors, people.
He has the in-depth knowledge of a specific interest that’s typically used as a signifier of AS, but other typical behaviors (missing nonverbal communication, repetition, aligning objects, etc) either aren’t there or don’t come across in five panels a day. (Not unless the author goes full Monk and the strip goes out of its way to demonstrate them.)
Whether Ethan has AS or not is entirely up to the author, and there’s insufficient data for us readers to make that diagnosis ourselves. In my opinion and experience, judging by what we’ve seen you can argue he has a very mild case. Enough that it can become a detriment to social interaction, but not enough that he seems atypical to an outside observer.
(Apologies if this comes across as insensitive or I use outdated mental health terminology; it’s been close to fifteen years since I’ve really dealt much with this subject. I promise I’m not trying to be a jerk!)
I actually have aspergers, so, I’m kind of familiar with it. There actually is one person in the cast that might be autistic, based on my observations, but I never even considered ethan being autistic.
You’re right though, in the end, it’s up to the author. And, admittedly, my criterion is “this seems familiar”, which is far from being a diagnostic criterion.
Same here, diagnosed in middle school. I see a bit of myself in Ethan’s fixation on one subject (in my case it’s computer junk), but he seems to pick up on nonverbal cues instinctively. That took years of practice to get down, and is still a deliberate thought process sometimes.
Honestly I can relate to Amber’s social anxiety too. Throwing myself headfirst into the corporate world and “fake it ’till you make it” helped with that more than group therapy ever did.
Exactly. He seem to be able to “read” people. I’m getting better at that, but I don’t think I’ll ever master this ability.
I can understand it but I don’t fear social interactions. I don’t like them and I know I’m really, really bad at it, so I try to avoid them whenever possible, but I’m not afraid of them.
Yeah, also Ethan’s WAY better at lying than I’d expect someone else on the spectrum as a rule. Telling a story while the expectation is that it’s fiction is fine with me, but I can’t even upsell myself on my resume.
(I’m like 90% sure with Dina and varying but 40-60 range with Joyce depending on the strip and the day – I’m pretty certain Joyce is some stripe of neurodivergent but not sure I read her as autistic specifically.)
Honestly he comes off like someone who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up (due to his ah, fairly specific hobbies), and as a result, doesn’t know how to deal with specific social situations and just… falls back to what he knows.
I’ve seen this behavior in a lot of people, and have been guilty of doing it myself. Nowadays I don’t do it so often, but that’s only because I had to learn how to not be like that on my own.
I do that, a lot, with my autistic special interests. It’s just a way to reground myself after speaking about something emotionally or mentally overwhelming. I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy? Especially since we don’t know that he’d do that with a therapist, he’s doing that with a guy he’s only known a few weeks and has been making out with, so I can understand needing to reground after discussing his actual trauma, it’s not like it’s a safe environment for him to linger in that traumatic memory.
Or this genuinely is what was going though his mind. Thinking about missing out his future, and those most likely were the things he was looking forward to the most.
I think both is true.
Transformers are grounding, and also Transformers are something that he would miss if he were not around…
Also, i think people often tend to think kind-of inconsequential things in highly stressful or emotional situations.
I know this hardly lives up to a hostage situation, but it’s a similar pattern as sitting in a hard break up talk and all you can think of is “but if we break up, i can never lie in his hammock again!“ (sic!) and/or “i really should change my bedsheets“ while you stare at stuff in a room just because you can’t bear focus on the other person’s face.. brains often try to cope by focussing importance on something that’s not part of the immediate issue..
Personally, it doesn’t bother me, but I use pet names with people I’m close to (or becoming close to) a lot, including baby, so I’m used to it being normal. A lot of people find it infantilizing though, so you’re definitely not the only one.
Yeah, but I’m normally okay with pet names too, and while I don’t often use it I’m perfectly okay with ‘baby’ in a romantic situation à la “Baby it’s cold outside.” but Thad literally says “You poor baby”. I don’t think there is any other way to read that.
Plus ‘baby’ was in bold in the last strip they were in, which implies he was saying it with some force…
Maybe I’m overthinking but I am getting some mad weird vibes from Thad.
I sometimes use ‘poor baby’ genuinely when I’m feeling sad for someone else, but yeah, lately it’s mostly read as sarcastic or belittling (to tease someone). So I’m hoping it’s genuine but I get where it reads that way.
Well, in the last strip he was specifically saying “you were just a baby” during the robbery and this seems to echo that, so I think he’s still referring to past Ethan, which helps a little bit.
You’re not alone. I mentioned this earlier when Thad first took Ethan’s hand that this whole scenario has a creepy “You have trauma? I CAN FIX IT WITH MY PENIS!” vibe. The kiss is doubly creepy because as far as I know, Ethan and Thad weren’t even dating prior to this and they’ve already moved on to French kissing?
In fairness to Thad, he may genuinely have sympathy for Ethan and want to share in his burden, but for me, this whole thing just smacks too much of somebody preying on emotionally vulnerable people. I’m really hoping I turn out to be wrong.
Definitely can relate. 7 years ago I was in a near-death scenario and one of the first things that crossed my mind is that after all the years of watching, I wouldn’t get to see Naruto’s ending. I mean, I immediately brushed that aside to focus on survival, but the unbidden thought definitely appeared distinctly in my mind.
I can also relate. It was the same with me, except in my case it was closer to 15 years ago and it was about the Harry Potter books (I think the series was between 5th and 6th book. It just crossed my mind how disappointing it would be if I didn’t get to finish reading the series). It’s kind of hilarious in hindsight (priorities, brain, priorities), but it’s probably pretty normal to think about stuff that’s important to you in life that you could lose, when your life is suddenly threatened. I guess it just shows that art and stories can be very important to a person, even if they are “not real” in a practical sense. Their fictional status doesn’t diminish their importance or the impact they can have on a person
I knew I didn’t friggin’ trust this. -.o I’m sorry, but this is a total Apple Jacks situation. You like what you like. And I really do not think it’s so terribly damning that Ethan cares so much about Transformers. I didn’t think that when it was Drew, and I don’t think it now.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing either (though the fact it’s what came to mind in a near death experience made me chuckle in a ‘oh god I love this nerd’ way) but I don’t think Thad foresaw just how deep the nerdiness runs.
I kind of think this sometimes with all the commissions I have. I think if I die there’s like almost 20 people who will never get their toys, I can’t take that away from the world.
I have been threatened with a loaded gun in Turkey 40 years ago and my only thought was: not in the stomach. with hospital standard here. not in the stomach.
When I was diagnosed with a malicious cancer six years ago (I fought it and won, obviously) my first thought was: The last voulume of Harry Potter has not been published yet. Hope I will live to read it.
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Buyer’s remorse?
(Ethan, Thad, either or)
GOD DAMN IT I MISSED IT
Aaaand Thad is having second thoughts about this guy in record time.
…He’s more of a Power Rangers fan.
hand off shoulder
starts edging away slowly
Ethan keeps going on for so long that Thad edges far enough to fall off the bed
If Thad is a Power Rangers man then Ethan needs to hold on to him. Also Ethan needs to invest time in learning about Power Rangers. 😛
You are extremely correct.
Perhaps Thad’s a brony, and is thinking “at last! A Has-Bro of my very own!” xD
Either way they’ll both be heading to Hascon.
If It Makes You Happy, then it can’t be that bad…
And this strip is being sponsored by the Koch brothers and the Republican party, who doesn’t want David Willis to live anymore. I hear the next letter bomb has Hasbro’s corporate HQ as the return address.
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
You almost have to admire Ethan’s commitment to his priorities. Messed up as they are.
Messed up? I mean they aren’t my priorities, but why messed up?
Prioritizing transformers over the intrinsic want to not die I guess? I’m not sure.
His interests are not messed up, but his priorities are. Like prioritizing intimacy with the dude who’s offering him comfort, instead of turning the conversation back to his interests. He’s only 18, though, it’s excusable.
Is it just me, or is Thad being kind of forward so far? I’m kinda weirded out with how fast this is moving. In fairness, though, I’d totally forgotten that he’s one of Ethan’s dormmates, so I guess it’s not *too* weird.
They’ve known each other for a few weeks, I figure, but I imagine some of this is related to what Mike said about how Ethan had options. Ethan’s hot stuff, so there’s maybe they’re trying to make a move while they can, plus just that, for a lot of LGBT folk, dating was really not an option in their home towns, so college is a time when they can sow their oats, and some of us take to that with panache.
That being said, comic time does make it difficult for me to tell sometimes just what speed stuff is or isn’t happening, so he could just be going too quick, which obviously would be an issue.
Not necessarily forward with the making out (if he’s had the hots for Ethan for a while), but kinda forward with the pressing for answers to quite personal questions without (so far as we’ve seen) checking if Ethan actually wants to talk about this incident, yes. It’s a bit rude.
Of course, if it was just a ploy because Thad figured that this was one subject he could bring up that wouldn’t morph into Ethan talking about Transformers, then he’s just discovering that finding such a ploy is a hopeless task.
Ehhh. They’re both 18-19-year-old dudes. It’s not uncalled for.
forward doesn’t seem like the right word. the more uncomfortable thing to me is jumping right from reassuring someone about trauma to initiating makeouts. strikes me as opportunistic and concerning.
But trauma and makeouts are two of the three things that make this comic what it is! (The third is ‘recovering fundie introspection’.)
He saw an opportunity (Ethan being emotionally vernerable) and took it?
Emotionally venerable? Yeah, sometimes I feel like I’m 90, emotionally.
(j/k IKWYM)
They are consenting adults. Why shouldn’t they progress fast?
Compared to Joe, Billie and Roz, they’re almost nuns.
I’m getting more of a “moving too fast” feeling from the attempted emotional intimacy than the physical, tbh.
Not transformers for me so much as 6 inch DC and Marvel figures, but mood.
Oh, also Gundam 1/144, of course.
Well, at least Ethan isn’t deliberately milking the ‘oh no I had a near stabbing, pity me!’ angle.
I do have to wonder if Thad has a THING for people going through near-death situations though.
Well this moved on faster than I expected.
They have their clothes on still, they moved slower than I expected.
Apt gravatar is apt.
I dunno, Amber would have been more fitting imo.
so I gather Thad was under the impression that Ethan’s Transformers obsession was PTSD-induced and thus his obsessive focus would be more understandable . . . and now he realizes no, Ethan’s just like that.
Why is he bald anyway?
He was fro. Another comic originally that comic had an all adult cast so him bein bald was nnormal but then he was aged down and put in this comic
Maybe he shaves it?
Some guys just don’t like to comb their hair. At all. My late brother always had a buzzcut, he used to tell me all he had to do to get ready in the morning was get his hair wet. Done. Meanwhile I’m the only guy in the -entire family- that likes to have long hair. Eh.
OR have we considered THIS reason:
Maybe Willis is just saving a lot of time just needing to draw a half circle instead of a whole hair style every panel?!
He could suffer from male pattern baldness, which can start from teens to early 20s, and just decided to shave it all off instead of deal with being a balding guy at 18.
some folks just wanna be bald
Are you saying it’s a decision?! Maybe he was born this way!!
jk. i’m all for empowering choices instead of insisting that people are born a specific way and only allowed to be that way “cause they can’t help it“
On a related note:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7BKg31Ym5o
SKALLAMANN!
I like Amber’s way of putting it – “He was born this way, but even if it is a choice, it wouldn’t be a wrong choice to make!”
Ethan.
Ethan.
No.
The man has interests. He knows what he likes.
Best to be upfront with your personality quirks than surprise people later.
Especially with Thad, because Thad is going to break your heart because of them. =<
Adorkable Ethan is adorkable.
Yeah, sorry Thad.
He’s…
He’s just like this.
All the time.
You’d think Thad would’ve realized that the previous time they met, when all Ethan could add to the conversation was Transformers.
The entire theme of Shortpacked! was essentially Ethan whining, “Why can’t I find a guy who I like, and who can stand me talking about Transformers all the ti – ooh, is that the new Chromedome skin?”
I’m wondering if Thad is turned off by the sudden nerdiness or if he is just surprised that is what went through Ethan’s mind at the time. I suppose it could be a little bit of both honestly.
Also, since I suspect Mike does does actually have feelings for Ethan(even if he can’t openly admit it, event to himself) how will he react to Ethan suddenly being with someone else?
Let’s face it, Ethan can deal with the emotional consequences of an assault. Amber couldn’t, but she only became insane because of Blaine’s bullying. Too much to think about.
The i-word is no the best choice, probably.
Actually, Ethan is doing surprisingly well. Being able to deal with an experience like that so fast (yes, five years is fast) is impressive, especially since he was a child. Being kind of messed up after an experience like this is pretty much normal. Blaine probably didn’t help though.
He probably got counseling after the incident, which helped him come to terms with what happened.
Yeah but even with counselling, being so completely at peace with having been in mortal danger after such a (relatively) short time is impressive. It’s not some magic thing that solves everything instantly.
Didn’t really bother him.
Why should it? Didn’t interfere with his Transformers collection.
Oy, please don’t use the i-word. Not nice. Not good.
(I have mental illnesses. I even have DID — yeah, that thing that Amber has — and I very much disagree with the use of the i-word. Thanks. I’m not “insane”, I’m dealing with stuff. Stuff that you should be thankful you don’t have to deal with.)
And yeah obviously Blaine is why she couldn’t deal with anything. She didn’t have a safe harbor to unload. We all need that. I had the same issue. Now I’m working on finally unloading and sorting through all of my luggage.
Wait, but what’s wrong with ‘insane’? I’ve never heard anyone object to that before, and even as someone who qualifies for that descriptor, never felt demeaned by it.
It’s a differs from person to person thing, particularly if it’s been used against them in the past as a negative.
The thing with a lot of the ableist language stuff is that most of us impacted have different reactions to words and such – pretty much everyone agrees that That Word Starting With R has been used as an insult too much for too long to have any business in vocabulary, but a lot of the others can be debatable. (‘Stupid’, for instance. Started clinical, isn’t anymore, and while I don’t think we should really be calling other people the word I FAR prefer it to ‘special’ as short for special education and don’t want that spreading any further than it has already. If it’s stupid or whatever’s euphemism treadmilled next that is in current clinical use, I’ll take stupid.) That sort of debate is there over every word, insane included, that’s been used to describe mental illness and disability pretty much ever, because all of them have been used as perjoratives against SOMEONE for whom it’s personal, and many have a reclamation versus dump it entirely debate on top of things.
I think something too is that insane has specific kinds of connotations that have been perpetuated throughout media that paint mentally ill people in a bad light. When used as a legal term to decide a person’s responsibility, it’s arguing that a person was in a state of mental incapacity and that they did not have full control over themselves. And there’s very specific characters that are attached to this label that pop up whenever it’s brought up- the Joker, Norman Bates, Gollum, Jack Torrance, etc.
It’s no longer a medical diagnosis, but a legal term, and it refers to the mental capacity or lack thereof to determine responsibility for one’s actions (and that has its own problems), and has gross connotations of being tied to universally violent, raving madmen incapable of rational thought or actions and carries the stigma that anyone labeled with it needs to be institutionalized, so I dunno. In general, it’s bad form.
Especially in this context because Amber didn’t become “insane” because of Blaine’s abuse. She is still in capacity for her actions, although her capacity is limited in some ways due to her mental illness. She’s struggling, but she’s still holding on.
Regalli, there’s the nuance I’m looking for. Thanks for reminding us that (gasp) All humans do not have the same association with words.
People are going to continue to describe these things colloquially and they’re going find words to use for it. Some have gained connotations that are bad enough to warrant booting from polite usage, but at the same time we can’t drop every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense.
I don’t think “stupid” was ever clinical though or at least didn’t start that way. Near as I can tell, it came to English from Latin by way of French back in the 1500s, in pretty much the modern colloquial sense.
I don’t think that ‘every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense’ is the same as ‘words that have a more negative than positive history with specific marginalized groups’.
I don’t think it is either. It’s a question of where to draw the line.
You’re kind of pulling a slippery slope argument here, though, since literally no one said “drop every term that’s ever been used in a negative sense”. Yes, there is never not going to be language used in a negative or insulting way. That’s just how it’s going to be. But there are terms that are more harmful than others with worse connotations, and like Regalli was saying, a lot of words are debatable and how “bad” they are depends on the individual.
But there’s really no harm at all if you take the time to remove those more harmful phrases from your vocabulary. And like.. it’s not going to kill you to not use specific words around specific people if they find it offensive. It’s not about drawing a line, it’s about showing consideration for other people.
There are definitely people who argue for dropping all ableist language out there. I personally have trouble agreeing, since there’s the aforementioned euphemism treadmill issue (I saw a serious spike in ‘special’ as a perjorative implying low intelligence once the r word started being socially unacceptable,) but also because there are so many words people legitimately don’t realize had clinical use. (And that’s before we get into how all of that ties into racism because eugenics ties those two together.) There’s also a definite ‘okay but the people reading your thinkpiece are very likely to also be disabled themselves in ways where words are hard and we have trouble changing ours, so maybe this is not the most workable plan for all words?’
It’s a complicated argument we’re having amongst ourselves and will continue to have for some time, but I think the things everyone can agree on are that a handful of words need to be retired outside clinical use (hey there ‘paychotic’,) you only get to reclaim the ones that apply directly to you, and generally speaking not using them on other people is the better option unless you know that’s how they describe themselves. So generally speaking, saying Blaine drove Amber insane is not the best term. Caused some kind of dissociative break or something, sure, lasting psychological damage certainly, but ‘drove her insane’ is really loaded and I can see why it had some reactions even if I’m willing to reclaim crazy for myself in some circumstances.
That’s very true, although to be clear, I was specifically referring to this comment thread not bringing up dropping negative terms as a serious suggestion. It’s still under debate, like you’ve said, and there probably will never be an agreement about it.
But I don’t think it’s very helpful to go, “Well, we can’t just drop every bad term! We have to draw the line somewhere!!” as a response to the suggestion that there’s.. debate over ableist language. Especially given there’s a specific context in mind, in this case, this entire thread over the term “insane”. I agree with you about the euphemism issue and reclaiming words being a personal affair (hello LGBT discourse). But, y’know, we already alter our vocabulary and way of speaking a lot depending on who we’re speaking to. All I’m saying is it’s not unreasonable to keep on doing that, instead of insisting there has to be a line.
Didn’t originate as clinical, but was used by psychologists formally to describe patients.
Sometimes I really want to go back in time with a punching robot and set it loose on the entire eugenics movement. Fuck causality and paradoxes and all that shit, if I come back to a timeline in which I never existed then at least I’ll get to see a robot punch some assholes first.
You just sort of realize what’s important in life, when you think it’s ending.
You know, I read a lot of laughter about Ethan’s adorkability and love of Transformers… but this might be taking it too far? Maybe he’s not as well adjusted as we think. Maybe he’s retreating into a fantasy world where everyone is giant and metal and immune to knives? Maybe Ethan goes to Transformers whenever he’s under stress?
I think Ethan really IS that geeky and that’s why his boyfriend in Shortpacked was actually concerned for him.
I think Ethan also had some borderline hoarder/obsessive tendencies that went a little bit beyond just being geeky and that was part of the boyfriend’s concern as well?
I mean, Ethan does have precedent for engaging in unhealthy behaviors, like all of the fights he got into with customers/online fans over different aspects of Transformers, to the point where it bled into his personal life as well IIRC. Sure, it’s not as dramatic as Amber’s shift into AG, but y’know. Something to think about.
That boyfriend also had his own issues, taking minimalism to extremes and utterly failing to compromise. He couldn’t stand to have a single toy on display. Iirc that ended with “maybe a framed photo… In a closet”
It probably served as a safe hideout after the robbery, basically because it is safe. As long as he doesn’t retreat into this world completely, that’s not a bad thing. Creating a safe space in your head where you can go when everything is overwhelming can be part of a therapy. If a therapist found an already existing safe space, it’s possible he/she used it.
Problems start if you start to disconnect yourself from the real world. Like, neglecting friends or family or responsibilities.
Distraction as a coping technique is definitely a thing!
And really, Walkyverse Ethan had enough income he was living on his own for large chunks of the strip and could pay his share of the bills when he lived with a group. Things never got to the point where he couldn’t store things, he couldn’t foresee the absurdly huge line while friend is in labor incident (and wasn’t asked in anyway after he made it in time,) it’s just that that boyfriend wasn’t a good match for toy collecting nerd aesthetic. (And hey, some people just don’t want that many fake eyes on them while they’re making out.) If DOA Ethan manages everything as well as Walkyverse Ethan once he’s paying for everything, I’d still say he’s fine.
Ethan’s always been a huge nerd but the past several panels have shown him leaning a little too much into Transformers, like it’s the only thing he can talk about whenever /feelings/ come up. Oh boy. I see a storm a-coming.
Thank you! Yes, this sounds like a poor coping mechanism, and I fear someone will hand wave it away as part of Aspergers. Not every social deficiency or anxiety problem is actually rooted in OCD! There are other stressors, people.
He probably relied on Transformers to cope a lot after the incident with Sal. Since then he’d use them for every stress-inducing situation he faced.
Ethan is supposed to be an autist?
I don’t think so.
Neither do I. I was surprised to see him being associated with aspergers.
He has the in-depth knowledge of a specific interest that’s typically used as a signifier of AS, but other typical behaviors (missing nonverbal communication, repetition, aligning objects, etc) either aren’t there or don’t come across in five panels a day. (Not unless the author goes full Monk and the strip goes out of its way to demonstrate them.)
Whether Ethan has AS or not is entirely up to the author, and there’s insufficient data for us readers to make that diagnosis ourselves. In my opinion and experience, judging by what we’ve seen you can argue he has a very mild case. Enough that it can become a detriment to social interaction, but not enough that he seems atypical to an outside observer.
(Apologies if this comes across as insensitive or I use outdated mental health terminology; it’s been close to fifteen years since I’ve really dealt much with this subject. I promise I’m not trying to be a jerk!)
I actually have aspergers, so, I’m kind of familiar with it. There actually is one person in the cast that might be autistic, based on my observations, but I never even considered ethan being autistic.
You’re right though, in the end, it’s up to the author. And, admittedly, my criterion is “this seems familiar”, which is far from being a diagnostic criterion.
Same here, diagnosed in middle school. I see a bit of myself in Ethan’s fixation on one subject (in my case it’s computer junk), but he seems to pick up on nonverbal cues instinctively. That took years of practice to get down, and is still a deliberate thought process sometimes.
Honestly I can relate to Amber’s social anxiety too. Throwing myself headfirst into the corporate world and “fake it ’till you make it” helped with that more than group therapy ever did.
Exactly. He seem to be able to “read” people. I’m getting better at that, but I don’t think I’ll ever master this ability.
I can understand it but I don’t fear social interactions. I don’t like them and I know I’m really, really bad at it, so I try to avoid them whenever possible, but I’m not afraid of them.
Yeah, also Ethan’s WAY better at lying than I’d expect someone else on the spectrum as a rule. Telling a story while the expectation is that it’s fiction is fine with me, but I can’t even upsell myself on my resume.
(I’m like 90% sure with Dina and varying but 40-60 range with Joyce depending on the strip and the day – I’m pretty certain Joyce is some stripe of neurodivergent but not sure I read her as autistic specifically.)
I don’t believe he’s on the spectrum.
Honestly he comes off like someone who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up (due to his ah, fairly specific hobbies), and as a result, doesn’t know how to deal with specific social situations and just… falls back to what he knows.
I’ve seen this behavior in a lot of people, and have been guilty of doing it myself. Nowadays I don’t do it so often, but that’s only because I had to learn how to not be like that on my own.
I need to clarify something: By “a lot of people” I meant teenagers and young adults, during my time in high school and college.
I do that, a lot, with my autistic special interests. It’s just a way to reground myself after speaking about something emotionally or mentally overwhelming. I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy? Especially since we don’t know that he’d do that with a therapist, he’s doing that with a guy he’s only known a few weeks and has been making out with, so I can understand needing to reground after discussing his actual trauma, it’s not like it’s a safe environment for him to linger in that traumatic memory.
Or this genuinely is what was going though his mind. Thinking about missing out his future, and those most likely were the things he was looking forward to the most.
Dunno. Seems possible, I mean, he’s a huge nerd.
I think both is true.
Transformers are grounding, and also Transformers are something that he would miss if he were not around…
Also, i think people often tend to think kind-of inconsequential things in highly stressful or emotional situations.
I know this hardly lives up to a hostage situation, but it’s a similar pattern as sitting in a hard break up talk and all you can think of is “but if we break up, i can never lie in his hammock again!“ (sic!) and/or “i really should change my bedsheets“ while you stare at stuff in a room just because you can’t bear focus on the other person’s face.. brains often try to cope by focussing importance on something that’s not part of the immediate issue..
I wonder if Mike will be jealous.
Congrats, Thad, you’re dating a nerd.
Billie *crashes through door*
“YOU ARE ALL NERDS” *crashes through another door*
“ALPHA BONGO HEAD CHEERLEADER OOOOOOOOOOUT.”
So, Billie’s a cheerleading nerd? 😛
My, my. They just zipped straight past the “holding hand and looking at dinosaur”-stage and went on to “kissing and talking about transformers.”
Date’s going well 🙂
I don’t look at Smash Bros. “leaks” but Ethan and Thad’s talk of mortality is tempting me.
NO! Must stay strong.
Even if you look at the leaks, they don’t have the announcement videos. And the ones this game have all been pretty dang amazing.
No doubt about those videos. They’ve been as fun as the ones in Smash4.
Is anyone else weirded out by Thad using baby so often?
It seems… Belittling? Like Ethan can’t take care of himself?
It just feels kinda White Knight-y.
“Oh poor Ethan. Don’t worry, I, the magnificent Thad, am here to reassemble your broken life!”
Personally, it doesn’t bother me, but I use pet names with people I’m close to (or becoming close to) a lot, including baby, so I’m used to it being normal. A lot of people find it infantilizing though, so you’re definitely not the only one.
Yeah, but I’m normally okay with pet names too, and while I don’t often use it I’m perfectly okay with ‘baby’ in a romantic situation à la “Baby it’s cold outside.” but Thad literally says “You poor baby”. I don’t think there is any other way to read that.
Plus ‘baby’ was in bold in the last strip they were in, which implies he was saying it with some force…
Maybe I’m overthinking but I am getting some mad weird vibes from Thad.
I sometimes use ‘poor baby’ genuinely when I’m feeling sad for someone else, but yeah, lately it’s mostly read as sarcastic or belittling (to tease someone). So I’m hoping it’s genuine but I get where it reads that way.
Well, in the last strip he was specifically saying “you were just a baby” during the robbery and this seems to echo that, so I think he’s still referring to past Ethan, which helps a little bit.
I don’t like ‘baby’ as a romantic pet name (I will call pets ‘baby’, in a ‘you’re a tiny baby’ way), but Thad’s use doesn’t seem that weird.
It definitely rubs me the wrong way, but I loathe pet names in general.
You’re not alone. I mentioned this earlier when Thad first took Ethan’s hand that this whole scenario has a creepy “You have trauma? I CAN FIX IT WITH MY PENIS!” vibe. The kiss is doubly creepy because as far as I know, Ethan and Thad weren’t even dating prior to this and they’ve already moved on to French kissing?
In fairness to Thad, he may genuinely have sympathy for Ethan and want to share in his burden, but for me, this whole thing just smacks too much of somebody preying on emotionally vulnerable people. I’m really hoping I turn out to be wrong.
Agreed! It’s really jarring to me to see him talking to Ethan about Ethan’s trauma and then . . . makeouts? Eeeeurgh.
Yeah, ‘baby’ is an awkward term.
I prefer ‘bunny’, ‘kitty’, and ‘snuggly-wuggums’.
Yes, I am part of That Couple You Know.
Aww, “bunny” is adorable!
Death was too good for him.
Thad’s expressions in the last 2 panels are great.
“I’ve made a huge mistake.”
“Welp, so long, boner”
“Knife to my neck”. I see what you did there, Ethan!
Get used to it, Thad. There’s a lot more where this came from.
Really just waiting for someone to come running through the door screaming “NERD!”
Annnd Ethan sabotages his own chances…
You’re doing amazing, sweetie -_-
Definitely can relate. 7 years ago I was in a near-death scenario and one of the first things that crossed my mind is that after all the years of watching, I wouldn’t get to see Naruto’s ending. I mean, I immediately brushed that aside to focus on survival, but the unbidden thought definitely appeared distinctly in my mind.
I can also relate. It was the same with me, except in my case it was closer to 15 years ago and it was about the Harry Potter books (I think the series was between 5th and 6th book. It just crossed my mind how disappointing it would be if I didn’t get to finish reading the series). It’s kind of hilarious in hindsight (priorities, brain, priorities), but it’s probably pretty normal to think about stuff that’s important to you in life that you could lose, when your life is suddenly threatened. I guess it just shows that art and stories can be very important to a person, even if they are “not real” in a practical sense. Their fictional status doesn’t diminish their importance or the impact they can have on a person
Thad being interested in someone because of their trauma is kind of weird
maybe he is trying to be funny but it s not landing? but probably not
I knew I didn’t friggin’ trust this. -.o I’m sorry, but this is a total Apple Jacks situation. You like what you like. And I really do not think it’s so terribly damning that Ethan cares so much about Transformers. I didn’t think that when it was Drew, and I don’t think it now.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing either (though the fact it’s what came to mind in a near death experience made me chuckle in a ‘oh god I love this nerd’ way) but I don’t think Thad foresaw just how deep the nerdiness runs.
Can relate. Sometimes slow to respond as I run my words through a “90% less Star Trek 99% less My Little Pony” filter.
(with John deLancie at the intersection point of the Venn diagram)
I have a Discord action figure at my desk.
As someone who almost died earlier this year, no, your life does not flash before your eyes. Or at least it didn’t in my case.
Priorities
I kind of think this sometimes with all the commissions I have. I think if I die there’s like almost 20 people who will never get their toys, I can’t take that away from the world.
I have been threatened with a loaded gun in Turkey 40 years ago and my only thought was: not in the stomach. with hospital standard here. not in the stomach.
When I was diagnosed with a malicious cancer six years ago (I fought it and won, obviously) my first thought was: The last voulume of Harry Potter has not been published yet. Hope I will live to read it.
Just so you know what you’re getting into, Thad.