The Dumbing of Age Book 14 Kickstarter throttles forward! Unlocked now is a surprise #DRANKS JOYCE character magnet tier! Pair her with your free DOROTHY magnet, complimentary with any pledge tier involving a physical book!
The Dumbing of Age Book 14 Kickstarter throttles forward! Unlocked now is a surprise #DRANKS JOYCE character magnet tier! Pair her with your free DOROTHY magnet, complimentary with any pledge tier involving a physical book!
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 22d
Bayjmin Tuckles @bayjmin-tuckles.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 22d
Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
Mae Dean @maegodhavemercy.com ⋅ 2d
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NGL Dina looks good in a suit.
I won’t lie either. She does. Do’ya think she got it tailored?
Seems a bit formal for school, but the hat is eyelored and teethored, so the jacket very well may be tail-ored.
The hat is eyelored and Willis is pornlord…
it helps to be hella petite like her waist to hip ratio is like 1:1 and small-chested so shit just hands right
She is indeed dapper. Dappest, you might say.
A real Dapper Dina.
most women do
honestly I don’t get why suits are considered masc fashion, i’ve never once seen a masc fella pull off a fitted suit anywhere near as well as every single fem example I’ve come across
Assuming it fits will, pretty much everybody does. Even I can look good in a suit, and I usually don’t.
I mean this data is valuable
Absolutely – at least he now knows that it’s something that could easily occur, so he can prepare to help her through it!
Single data point. Dina needs to find more churchy lesbians.
Dina conducted a qualitative study.
Obviously.I’m joking before anyone comes at me and saying qualitative data studies need more than one data point or at least a long period of time.
Becky’s a cryer? That makes so much sense actually.
Considering how much she was agonising about being horny and wanting Dina to “take the choice” away from her, it checks out.
We’ve always known Becky represses a lot of feelings under her perky mask. Post-coitus, those masks can come down.
well, she did also wanna marry dinner right after like a ‘five second rule’ thing
Oh dear, Joe is going to be too afraid to touch Joyce let alone have sex with her.
Dina, brutal honesty may not have been the way to handle that question.
Joyce may be in for some frustrations or worry. Hopefully there’s actual talking and communication between them before any hurt feelings occur. :O
I gotta say, as someone with the intermittent and sometimes ambush trauma-induced emotional reaction to sex, I think Dina’s brutal honesty (a term I’m not sure fits here, it’s not brutal) was exactly the right way to handle it. It’s how I would’ve wanted it handled were this conversation about me, for sure. Direct and clear is fully informed is good.
Dancing around this doesn’t help anybody. Not in my experience, anyway.
re: not quite “brutally” honest,
being openly, nakedly honest?
(I guess that ain’t quite accurate either given she’s currently clothed, hmf :/)
“Direct” maybe? idk, it’s nbd. I just don’t think she was being… even mean is too strong.
Joe needs to know this shit is a possibility. Honestly, I don’t think it’ll be a thing for Joyce? Joyce doesn’t have the dead parents, just the what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you mom in particular.
But I sure do think it could be and that therefore the pre-notification of possibility here is super appropriate.
either way the way I see it, Dina’s a devout scientist, when she reports her findings she is of course really thorough :)
You definitely don’t need dead parents to experience sexual shame due to religious trauma (this supports your main point, just wanted to mention that)
Sure, but having that additional trauma load means your trauma pool is filled higher like, all the time, so it’s easier to make waves that overflow.
Assuming we’re going to stick with the water/crying analogies for the moment anyway.
That was my intent in distinguishing the two on that axis. They’ve both got a lot of trauma but we know that mom in particular is a huge trauma feelings trigger for Becky, and those different sources can and do interact, and and etc. You get my point.
one of the few IMO entirely good things that Picard (the series) gave us was “the Way of Absolute Candor”.
Maybe his encounter with Liz will come back into play, plot-wise.
He’s probably still gun-shy with the last ex-churchy girl he was almost with. That was Sarah’s sister, right?
This is both genuinely heartwarming and startlingly amusing. I love this.
Joe: so how will I know if she’s weeping over THAT or my-
Dina: you will not
Joe is going to be so fucked up from their first time. Good for him.
Rightfully deserved tbh
Yeah. Joyce has been super-repressing. He’s going to be SO fucked.
Wish everyone could agree that sex isn’t something we need or even should be making people feel bad about.
Enh. I mean, nobody owes anyone sex. Ever. Even if my spouse of 15 years gave me a custom IOU of their own volition for One (1) Sexytime, they could say “no” at any time and I need to (and would) respect that. Because that’s healthy relationships, boundaries, and communication. You don’t get to 15 years by ignoring that.
And you can’t control your partner’s(/s’) libido. That’s all fair.
But if you’re saying sex isn’t ever worth communicating your discontent, I disagree quite a bit.
No, I was trying to say that we don’t need to make people feel bad about sex and we shouldn’t be making people feel bad about sex.
Apologies for the confusion!
Yeah, I figured there was a non-zero chance that I was not reading that in the intended spirit and so tried to be as clear as I could that this was my reading and what about that I was objecting to. I understand what you were saying now and I absolutely agree.
Yeah, but, what about all the shame-kinks out there? Are you going to kink-shame shame-kinks?
(Yes, I agree with you, I’m just automatically contrarian.)
Kink-shaming should always be shame, double if they are harmless kinks.
Shame on you, if kink-shaming is your kink!
Wish everyone could agree that sex is something some people need and we shouldn’t be making those people feel bad about it.
Pan graysexual demi here. Might not be 100% monogamous hasn’t come up. Probably not fair for some ace spectrum guy to come in on your statement but y’all forgettin us again. ‘Only a cis deals in absolutes’ moment? XD in jest.
We do not those two exact words, ALL and NEED.
For me? It’s nice. Occasionally when the emotions are intensifying. Like a slice of cheesecake, definitely not every day, and its entirely possible to not be in a thick and creamy mood. Maybe it’s time for burrito. Cuddles or a date or something. If you don’t like it at all that’s okay too.
[Snip personal rambles not about me and my special conditions on my partners lol]
Communication is key and Dina’s intel is a necessary and good point, that don’t really much connect to your statement/declaration. That the emotions are messy and it might have to end up as Joyce deciding when and how everything happens, and even that might not end up going off 100% clean and smooth. Maybe Joe needs to be clear that he HAS been around the block yeah but feelings like this are 95% new to him, actually, and he just wants her to be happy.
THINKS ABOUT plenty. WANTS that perfect Joyce smile all the time, or the banter, ah it’s wonderful the back and forth between these two and clearly they enjoy that too.
Who said “all”? You’re the only one saying “all”. Risky said “some”.
All that and I come back from notepad app and it’s LITERALLY JUST MEH BRAIN that said all lmao can disregard 70% this whatever
Both the need and should applies to the shaming part, not the sex.
I think I either needed commas or to word it the way thejeff did:
Who’s making anyone feel bad about sex? Why should everyone agree they don’t need it? Why should your personal preference override everyone else’s?
Basically our entire society is making people feel bad about sex. Centuries of religious indoctrination?
And I suspect the post was badly phrased and the intent was something like “sex isn’t something we need to make people feel bad about or even should be making people feel bad about.”
Worded that way, it’s perfectly reasonable.
Yeah, my impression wasn’t even that it was necessarily poorly phrased– just missing a word in one of those annoying typos that happen. (“isn’t something we need to or even should be making people feel bad about”)
Yes, this. It took me a while to figure out how everyone else was reading it!
Eyyy, no worries! Sorry if it came off like I was grillin’ ya. It’s a very good and normal sentiment.
It is a shame that “reservoir of unanswered horniness” doesn’t really fit as a book title.
That could absolutely be the title for Willis’s first hardprint of the assembled Slipshines. Or the Other Patreon. Or all of it together. “ROUH” is excellent titling.
The gaudiest cursive. Embossed and gilded.
Too short. More like “Dumbing of Age Book 15: Let Their Reservoir Of Unanswered Horniness Do The Rest”.
ROUHs? I don’t think they exist.
(a sexually repressed Protestant attacked!)
Rodents Of Unusual Horniness is that informercial for Brian Swords paintings.
Hej, better that than the Well of Loneliness…
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Well_of_Loneliness)
Reservoir of Unanswered Horniness . . .
Reservoir of Horniness . . .
Reservoir Horndogs?
Normally I think a woman in a suit looks great, but ironically I’m in the opposite boat here, not feeling it on Dina. The problem is the bright green of the hat just clashes too much with the otherwise tame black of the suit and makes it not come together for me. She needs a suit that’s either more extravagant to suit the hat, or a hat that better matches the suit.
This was meant as a reply to someone else but oh well. Whoops.
Eh, I agree, not a fan. But having made similar embarrassing fashion faux pas myself in the past, it’s not unrealistic that autism will sometimes have you doing stuff like. That.
I’d go with some matching green highlights, either shoes, cufflinks or vest.
Way back when I found a three piece suit at an opshop I wore it to a punk show with light up heelies (black with fluro green shoelaces, wheels and lights) that matched my green hair. On the way there someone from a uni barcrawl gave me one of those pipes that blows bubbles because “it’ll complete the outfit”. It’s all in the accessories.
I feel like a matching tie would just about solve it, yeah.
Dina needs a Micro raptor hat, gotcha
Without her green dino hat her sexiness would spiral upwards to infinity creating a giant black hole which would swallow the entire universe. She is wearing her hat to protect us all!
Orange suit, for secondary colors, maybe?
Purple would make her look too much like the Joker.
*plays “Infotain Me” by Ochre on hacked muzak*
It sucks that shame can come up like that (I wasn’t even raised religious and have sometimes felt like I was drowning in sexual shame), but I think it’s important to know that it’s not the partner that’s causing the shame. (You know. Hopefully. I’m going to speak to this specific case.)
If Joyce had sexual shame wash over her, it wouldn’t be that Joe made her feel shame. It wouldn’t be that Joe had hurt her. That shame is coming from other sources, and he can try to help her navigate it (if it happens), but it’s not his fault. I know that’s a lot for him to actually internalize, though.
Speaking from personal experience, I can fully attest that it is one distinct thing to tell oneself that, but it is an entirely different thing altogether to believe it.
I would also like to add that when when all parties are aware of this and know it’s not their fault it’s still extremely distressing when it happens
*even when, not when when!
I choose to believe your linguistic construction was innovative in pursuit of indicating emphasis and superlativeness. Not only when, but when when!
oh no
Joe and Dina interactions are such a delight
it’s gonna be liz all over again ain’t it
Of course not.
Liz left and Joe isn’t going to be seeing her around campus every day.
Still half expecting Joe to like suddenly get ED (if it’s possible at his age) or so/performance anxiety or so
“Reservoir of Unanswered Horniness” is the name of my next musical band. Not sure which genre, in particular, but should I form such a band, by the gods above and below, that will be its name.
Maybe my favourite friendship in the whole comic
Danny better step up his wingman game. Dina is coming for that best friend slot.
When was the last time we saw Dan and Joe just hang out and have a good time like friends do? Even have a nice chat?
Probably here:
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-11/02-look-straight-ahead/atlength/
But to be fair they’ve both been very distracted by new girlfriends. It’s pretty funny actually. Archive diving to find that strip shows that basically every time Danny is free Sal immediately shows up to drag him away. It happens over and over. Joe and Joyce have been essentially attached to each other. He spends half his time in her dorm and spends nights there. Non stop fucking probably.
You don’t do it with aces, Joe. Fortunately, Joyce definitely isn’t ace.
I mean, it is a spectrum. I’m on Joyce’s side of the spectrum though, so I’m not the guy to ask.
I mean, you very much can. Libido =/= sexual attraction. I got stuck with a high first one and a low second one, so we very much do exist
Maybe Joe cant, but Becky can
Is Joe going to ask Sarah on how to have sex with her little sister? Since the last sister he tried it with freaked out before they got to it.
The phrase “crymaxing” in the alt text gave me seven points of psychic damage. I was not prepared for chan-y terms this evening
I hear yuz…
To be fair, knowing that before hand is crucial info
Hmm, I think they’re actually “after hand”, and before… something else.
Besides a hand.
Possible doom 1: Joe fucks up the date because he’s too worried about hurting Joyce.
Possible doom 2: Dorothy decides to confess her feelings to Joyce before the date, putting Joyce’s brain in a very “What the fuck am I going to do about this” place.
Please let this date go well… please let this date go well…
Possible doom 3. Joyce’s repressed sexual assault trauma pops up like a demonic push pop.
Possible doom 4. All of the above, but instead of before the hankie pankie, Dottie walks in during naked Joyce’s trauma-and-religious-guilt induced freak out and blames Joe.
OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT DOOM 3
Possible Doom 5: Joyce is too focused on sex to accommodate Joe’s desire for romance. (Because twist.)
out of all the possible “oh no things go wrong” hypotheticals, I do hope that it goes in this direction the most. just feels like the most natural escalation of all the longterm character beats that these two have been going through post-timeskip.
This is what I was worried about 2 comics ago. I’m less worried about it now that Joyce is asking Joe to wear a suit, which feels like a step towards romance. My big hope is that mid date Joyce will come onto Joe, he’ll push her away …and then they’ll have a conversation about how he’s scared and how he doesn’t want to hurt her, and Joyce will talk about her own fears and how she wants to take the risk, and they’ll come to understand each other better, and then get naked in a manner that gives Joyce everything she wants, while going slow enough that she regularly has opportunities to end the sexiness if she’s uncomfortable. (And slow enough that the inevitable other patreon / slipshine is double length.)
Worst case scenario: Joe, scared of hurting Joyce, neglects what she wants and Joyce ends the date in anger. She returns to dorm and complains to Dorothy that she wants someone to bang her. Dorothy kisses her, they do the slipshine/other patreon dance, and wake up naked in bed together the next morning. Joyce has an even worse freakout than the one Joe was trying to spare her from, because she cheated on Joe AND lost her virginity AND slept with a woman. Then Dorothy freaks out over her bi identity crisis AND cheating on Walky. Then Becky returns to her dorm room after a night of Dina cuddling, and gets split between rage at Joyce sleeping with a non-Becky woman and mesmirization at the hopefully still exposed Joyce breasts. A lot of drama, everyone’s unhappy, everything’s worse.
There are ways for Joe/Joyce/Dorothy and Joyce/Dorothy/Walky where everyone’s happy and nobody gets hurt. Please, please let Joe and Joyce be the one couple in this series that have a relationship where their issues come to light and gives them a chance to learn together and become stronger. They deserve it so much.
Possible Doom 6: Joyce, despite feeling comfortable with the idea, is too hung up on actively giving consent to say “I want to have sex”, and Joe is now too skittish to proceed without hearing it.
In which case honestly, good for Joe. Active consent is a good thing and if you’re too hung up to actually it, maybe you’re not actually ready.
It’s only been a couple of days since Joyce was just spiraling into denial of liking Joe’s tush whenever the subject came up.
“This is the honest answer Joe deserves… But it’s not the one he needs right now. So it’s now on Joyce’s hands to hunt him — Because he can take it. He’s not her hero, but a silent guardian, a watchful protector with a tender heart and a bigger schlong. A Dark Knight.”
[Burns a CD with El Señor de la Noche.mp3 under the stars.]
damn that’s nostalgic, i remember hearing that song in my neighborhood when parties were going on just across the street, fun times ^^
I have a few nostalgic Batman songs. “Kiss from a Rose” is probably the most direct analogue here; but I also think of the original Elfman theme (mostly because it became the foundation of BTAS, with dozens of fantastic leitmotifs for his various foes orbiting it) and, just for silliness’ sake, the classic/memetic ’66 NANANANANANA
BATMAAAN!
And then depending on how much you’re trying to remove yourself from religion the shame tears can turn into self-directed anger tears because you feel stupid for being upset about something you know you don’t believe in anymore and suddenly you’re being confronted with the lifetime of trauma you haven’t processed nearly as well as you thought you had.
Speaking from personal experience. I still get weird emotional hangups about sex and I kicked my faith to the curb more than a decade ago.
Right?? It’s the worst when that happens. Sending you good vibes
Appreciate it!
that’s what the after care is for.
I love that Joe asks Dina for advice.
Joe knows what’s up.
Alt text threw me for a minute before I realised that it was a pun on climaxing and not like the crying equivalent of that (very awful) looksmaxing thing
It was good for a groan.
Reminder Joe already has some personal experience with this:
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2021/comic/book-12/01-sister-christian/ruined/
There’s no crying in shameball!!!!
–Oh wait, yeah, there’s a ton of crying in shameball.
That is DEFINITELY something you want a head-up about. Solid wingmanship, Dina.
This arc has been nothing but “Reservoir of Unanswered Horniness”… or is it just college life?
“There May Be Some Uncontrollable Religious-Shame-Induced Weeping”? Oh no, when’ll she crack
There is a solution to this, and it’s right out in the open.
Step 1. Walky learns that Dorothy’s “apology” was being unfaithful to him with Joyce. Walky, unfazed, says that all his “jokes” in the past about her and Joyce weren’t jokes at all, and that he just assumed stuff was going on.
Step 2. Walky runs into Joe while doing laundry. Walky asks Joe if he’s knows about Joyce and Dorothy, and Joe says yes, believing Walky to mean Dorothy’s crush and the photos. Walky and Joe clear the air and have a bit of a laugh about it, and as he leaves, Walky makes a joke about being so cool about Joyce and Dorothy doing laundry together. Something clicks, and Joe now understands what “doing laundry with Dorothy” meant.
Step 3: Joe talks to Joyce, and not knowing exactly how to broach the subject, just vaguely states that he’s so glad she and Dorothy are friends, and that there’s a lot of ways people can be friends, and that he will never feel theatened or jealous of that friendship. The conversation is thoroughly weird and Joyce tells him so, not fully getting what he’s saying.
Step 4: Joe wears a suit. They go to the movies. There is a gazebo, followed by semi-controlled shame-induced weeping.
Step 5: Joyce is extremely distraught. Dorothy brings from her room a bottle of something mildly subversive (etc etc) and they have a few drinks while Joyce shares her feelings and that she may be making a huge mistake. Dorothy quotes Ms. Frizzle and says that college is THE time to take chances, make mistakes, get messy, and to prove it, she pulls a Becky and steals a kiss.
Step 6: This time, though, Joyce doesn’t say “no,” but “yes.”
Step 7: Joyce is cured of the shame-induced weeping, as sex with Joe is, by religious measure, “better” than the alternative; and as sex with Dorothy isn’t something she ever even imagined in her wildest dreams before, it doesn’t trigger any ingrained alarm bells.
TLDR: Dorothy is going to take a page from Freshman Orientation Week Joe, and “fix” Joyce, with her vagina.
Two problems. 1: The unfaithfulness WAS the photos. Laundry time took place before Dorothy & Walky got back together. 2: Joyce already explained to Joe what doing laundry meant: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-13/04-but-dont-give-yourself-away/cheating-2/
Oh, drat, I forgot about that!
… I still stand by my TLDR.
Unrelated but I found out about the Muderbot Diaries TV series from Questionable Content today. Is anyone else excited?
I might be, if I had any idea what that was.
It’s based on a book series. A security robot gains sentience and it tries to keep it secret (not too hard since he’s only interested in binging telenovelas). He’s selected to escort a team of scientists on a research expedition to another planet and they find out, shenanigans ensue.
Accurate but fyi Murderbot’s pronouns are It/Its! This is the case in the books and seems like it’ll also be the case in the show. I myself am cautiously optimistic about the series, but if anything about the shows trailer intrigued you, I highly recommend you read at least the first book before the show comes out, All Systems Red. It’s a novella that is a short, easy read.
Also just mentioning because this is one of my favorite quotes from the books. Murderbot does not have gender and at one point it says: “I was as indifferent to human gender as it was possible to be without being unconscious.”
Gotta love Murderbot. <3
The TV is as unlikely to be as good as the book(s) so definitely read the book(s).
Murderbot won the Hugo award (the fans loved it), the Nebula award (the writers loved it), the Locus award (the hard core SF readers loved it), the Amazon best books of the year in category (the Amazon editors loved it) and tha ALA Alex award (the librarians loved it).
And then the series came back and won the Hugos again for best series.
It’s seriously good. I loved it.
How’s the writing? A friend recommended Gideon the Ninth, but some of the sample dialogue read like a sassy Twitter post and I’ve had trouble getting myself to try it. If this one’s too… I guess “modern-y” will do, it’ll go the same way.
Gideon the Ninth (the locked tomb series) is *extremely* dense. The prose is very flowery while much of the dialogue is full of sharp wit. I also do still heavily recommend it but it’s not a casual read. It’s a strange mix of fantasy and sci-fi that’s pretty unique. It’s extremely heavy on the worldbuilding and the lore and a narrative that takes many unexpected twists and turns. Also, all of the characters are deeply flawed and most of them are various different brands of awful while still remaining compelling. Everything that happens is some brand of fucked up. If you’re into that, I highly recommend it.
Murderbot, (or The Murderbot Diaries) on the other hand, is a lot lighter. It is a series of mostly novellas, and a few novels, written in the first person perspective of an acerbic robot that’s trying to do its job while it would rather be watching TV. It’s very cyberpunk in the sense that it’s a far-flung sci-fi capitalist dystopia, but the POV character is the type of person who isn’t interested in lingering on details it doesn’t care about. It’s very to-the-point in its narration and filled with dry humor. The narrative is mostly focused on Murderbot’s journey of self-discovery and self-actualization while recovering from deep systemic trauma. Also, there’s cool action scenes. And again: most of the books are novellas which are quite short and easy reads.
And then, after Gideon, the Locked Tomb series gets weird.
Denser and twistier.
I’ve loved the series so far, but I have my doubts about whether she’ll be able to stick the landing in the last book.
And I’ve got the first Murderbot book on top of my tbr pile right now.
I’ve seen the trailer never having heard about it and I’m intrigued!
Also, I’v reported your comment by mistake, my bad
Rather than a six hundred page book, it’s a series of novelettes. Easy to pick up at your local library. Hits a lot of reading interests.
I think Joe and Joyce are better about communicating though. She clearly wants to do the deed but he wants to be non-sexual. These things should be spoken about and it sounded like the date was going to address this.
I hope he doesn’t chicken out though and continues to be honest with her. It shows his willingness to change and their friendship sparked that, even before dating.
I fully don’t think Joe wants their relationship to be non-sexual. He’s repeatedly been shown to be horny when with Joyce (and they’ve already HAD a sexual encounter which he seemed pretty happy about after!) – he just doesn’t want to hurt Joyce, and feels like these two things can’t be realized at the same time.
They should still talk about that of course.
OK, so, hej, apropos of nothing…
…any advice on how to get that kind of BS *out* of one’s head?
…asking for a friend… :-\
Therapy helps if you can afford it (I know not everyone can), but as someone who has had to overcome that.. a lot of it for me was dealing with it and processing it as it came up, and having a partner who was patient and willing to help me get over that. Just know that it’s all about taking the time to feel and process. And to really come out that what’s happening is normal and so long as you both consent, good. My own processing and reasonings are likely unique to me so I can’t really say how well it would work beyond the generic.
Granted I had Catholic, AND Midwest conservative crap to process through on both a gender and later sexuality shift. So I had a dreaded double whammy.
Thank you, Erin.
Can I make a suggestion that might be silly?
Watch Steven Universe’s “Mindful Education” (or at least the song featured in it: “Here Comes a Thought“). Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but back in the day it really helped me process some rough feelings I had about myself.
Huh! Wow, OK. Thank you! I’ve never seen Steven universe before. Checking it out now.
Yeah, is a really REALLY great series, highly recommend ^^
Thanks, NG!
I don’t have a personal history with religion, but I have dealt with shame that comes up with sex, which at times has been very intense. And addressing it is ongoing, but here’s some stuff that’s helped so far:
1. Talk to yourself gently about it. Sometimes I get mad at myself for feeling sexual shame when it doesn’t line up with my beliefs. That’s not helpful! If my brain is going, “Am I bad for this?” the voice responding, “Of course not, you idiot” isn’t what I need. Talk to the part of you feeling sexual shame like you would a friend who’s feeling that way.
2. Think of someone you respect. Imagine you learned that they engaged in a sexual experience similar to yours (or what you want). Do you judge them for it? Do you lose any respect for them? For me– and this would need to be true for you for this idea to actually be helpful– the answer is no, of course not. I would just hope they had a good time. (This idea miiight feel awkward to think about, but… you’re allowed to feel awkward, it’s part of trying to process stuff, thought crimes aren’t real.)
3. Talk to people about sex in a nonsexual setting. This might be therapy (therapy has been really helpful for me in normalizing things) or it might be with friends or some other group. Sometimes there’s a sense of secrecy around our sexual lives, and shame thrives in secrecy. You don’t have to expressly bring up the shame part, either, if that feels out of place, but have conversations that normalize sex. (And kink and any other aspects tied to sex that might be part of how you’re feeling.)
4. Aftercare! I’ve been pretty shit about this for myself, I’m still learning, but it’s important to help regulate yourself after the emotional and physical intensity that’s often part of sex. Aftercare after masturbation, too. If something comes up in those moments, taking care of yourself then helps keep it from building.
Wow. OK, thank you, Yumi. That’s a lot to think about! Good ideas, everyone.
Kudos to the Comment Board! Thank youse!
…
My … uh … friend … thanks you, too.
I am glad someone was able to provide more concrete steps/advice, Yumi! Cause mine was very… vague in hindsight.
But yes I do agree with Yumi’s comments. And when the inevitable freak out does come. (My poor boyfriend had to deal with my first big one almost like Joe did with Liz but cue me locking myself in my closet and crying) having the partner who is patient and understands and incorporates the reassurance into the aftercare of such an emotionally intense moment is HUGE.
So glad you had that. That took real emotional maturity and mutual caring. Such a hopeful inspiration to hear.
Hej, no, Erin, your advice was perfect, perfect, perfect! Exactly what I needed to hear right then. I am grateful to you for providing such heartfelt and sober and immediate advice. I appreciate you. Very much.
It helps if you don’t still believe there’s a God watching you fuck. Seriously, interrogate that belief system.
Hej, yo’… maybe God LIKES to watch!
That dirty selfdamned pervert.
It does help, but society still pushes a lot of that onto people (mostly women, of course), even without active belief in God watching. It’s partly religious, but far from entirely.
In my experience Catholic girls desire to have sex intensely only to feel really guilty after, and then I married her. I was gonna marry her anyway, but events moved the date up several years. That was about 50 years ago, we’ve been married 47 years this February, and for the most part it was pretty good.
Congratulations!
OMG. It’s was 47 years ago last September for us. Hope you’re enjoying retirement
Y’know, somehow I think Joyce is tough enough to endure a little bit of uncontrollable shame-crying. I think she’d probably let it happen in the moment, wipe her eyes, and then solicit Joe for Round 2.
I agree! I frankly expect no, or virtually no, shame-crying from Joyce. She didn’t even shame-sniffle after giving Joe a semi-public handy after all.
It’d be pretty funny if she started feeling it and then just got mad and decided to fuck it out of her system by force. Revenge sex against the church, even.
Love this. It would be totally in character for Joyce, especially if Joe mentions the shame-induced weeping before they begin.
“Shame-crying!? Oh, hell to the fuck no. If my eyes get even slightly watery, you better get ready for the ride of your life in protest.”
….
…..
sex on a church
It would be so alarming to me if someone started crying afterwards.
Sometimes it’s just an intense emotional release. Apparently, crying, laughing, burping, and farting can all be physical manifestations of overcoming emotional blockages…
…Sometimes it’s just a normal physiological reaction. But it’s always good to check in, to make sure.
The idea of having an intense, cathartic emotional experience and expressing it by ripping ass is so funny to me.
It does make sense, though. Folks store tension (“energy blocks”) in their abdominal muscles, diaphragms, throat muscles, and sphincters. (Therapeutic Touch says it’s to keep pain locked up in just one part of the body and prevent it from flowing through.)
There are a few Questionable Content comic strips illustrating that very principle within the context of sexytimes. (“Hey, you said to relax, so I’m relaxing!” or words to that effect.)
For further research on the connection between emotional release and passing gas, one may see:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/emotions-trapped-in-the-body
https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/gas-problems
https://therapistsinphiladelphia.com/blog/signs-your-body-is-releasing-trauma/
I’ve had it happen. We talked it out right then. Later, she had a couple more instances of tears, which we talked about immediately when they happened. That led to a much stronger relationship and better sexytimes.
If it ever happens to you, don’t be alarmed and don’t take it personally. Just be sensitive to your partner’s feelings.
I always like seeing the direct communication between Joe and Dina.
God, rereading this comic just to see how everyone has changed is a kick. Joyce is nearly unrecognizable. Same for Joe.
It also really accents how much worse Jennifer has become. Like, 10x worse.
Dina, you are perfect in this moment.
Sharing that invaluable experience.
Joe should kill Dina. No reason, she’s one of my favorite characters, but it’d be good drama.
R-right on the stairs, or more a ‘wait until he can get her alone’ type of thing?
In Dean McHenry’s office. For maximum trouble.
It’s the best he could do.
Very appropriate and you should be ashamed of yourself.
I wish we’d seen more of Sara’s sister
Oh dear, that is absolutely not what Joe wanted to hear. Like what happened with Liz, but way worse. That last panel is a PANIC face if I ever saw one.
Actually, that panic might secretly be a good reason that these two are so compatible. It’s just Joyce’s freak-outs are all external immediately. Joe has them too, just in the *Internal screaming* variety. But then they talk about it and work through it together.
In summary, I am so on board with this ship and I am stoked to see where this storyline goes.
Oh that’s not gonna help with Joe’s self loathing…..
It actually could, if he lets himself see the whole picture. Like, Becky and Dina are still happily a couple, physically intimate and increasingly openly/relaxedly so, well after those uncontrollable bouts of religious-shame-based weeping. Because those didn’t have anything to do with Dina, really, the way Joyce’s hypothetical bouts wouldn’t have anything to do with Joe.
but knowing this strip Joyce will be Bawling afterwards, Sarah will come back and that’s a fight, then one of the dickhead characters will spread rumors about what happened, none of which will be true, and it’ll be a whole thing spanning multiple books. I jsut feel like this bit is set up to be a major problem and not something that just happens off screen and we keep it moving.
more importantly do any of the characters have a crossed wire in their autonomic nervous system that consistently triggers a sneeze response during sex
this is vital comedy information willis please
That face! I’m dying laughing!
Dina looks so adorable!
I finally got the “DON’T CARE REMOVING PANTS NOW” adder to try it with this page. No regrets.
Where did you get the DON’T CARE REMOVING PANTS NOW adder? I might be interested in it.
Joe: Church?
Dina: *shakes head* Hornyness.
Joe: *pumps fist* Sexytimez!
Dina: Feelings.
Joe: *crestfallen* Love?
Dina: Tears.
Joe: NUUUUUU
love that scrubs reference in the alt text
LOL
i wonder if it’d be a good heuristic to just assume by default that any alt-text reference i don’t get is from Scrubs XD
Thank god Dina and Joe are actual buds. I don’t think he’d have handled any weeping well without knowing before hand.
yeah this is the kinda thing it’s good ot know in advance
Dina’s expression at the end is good stuff. Yeah, of course that’s not the sort of reaction she’s great at handling. You can tell that part was not easy for her. Doesn’t regret it one bit. Not even a little.
Honestly YES this was my experience of being churchy and horny. The sexual shame weeping is heartbreaking. I hate sex-negative religion SO MUCH for this.
I just looked up The Kinsey Scale. Only humanity would come up with a rating system for what makes us horny. (¬_¬)
Based on a sample size of one (1) species in the universe.
yay humanity???
im not really sure the point ya trying to make with this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
earthlings are horny, thank you captain obvious i guess XD
one of my favorite things is going outside and listening to all the birds screaming “HAVE SEX WITH ME” literally constantly
Dina is wise. I love how much space she makes for Becky.
Becky is outwardly very brush-off-the-hurt, but she’s got scads of damage, and I love that Dina takes pains to be kind to her. So sweet.
I don’t think Joyce is going to have this problem. Becky has it because she’s literally still Christian and that means Jesus is watching her fuck disapprovingly. This is the first hint we’ve seen that this belief system is impacting her negatively, and it it ties into and at least explains her repressed personality overall.
Joyce does not have this problem at all!
Suurrreee she doesn’t.
Getting flashbacks of how Sarah’s sister reacted.
I mean, considering how Joe and Joyce are acting, I doubt it’s gonna be all aces.
Yeah I think that’s a risk. Fuckin’ is very cathartic, and intimate, and you’re with someone who’s safe, and you’ve had a LOT of stuff put on this…..
Rule of comedy indicates Joyce might go another direction with it tho, and SHE didn’t get caught makin’ out with her roomie and having her life upended, so diff stressors. Maybe she’ll get a surge of hulk like boning powers and throw a bed through a wall.