Discussion (118) ¬
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Ph03n1x24 @ph03n1x24.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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PAX East
“The wisdom I spout you don’t want to hear / But what’d you expect when you put me here”
“OH COME ON”
“My lyrical choices are not the thing one should be focused on – the fact you hear voices from self-placed posters means you’re the one who the joke is on.”
“‘I got it for free’?
That sums up the worth of your life and it’s philosophy”
(Replying that to a person seems mean but I am pretty sure from context it should be clear that this is a posited “Roadblock to Ethan” rhyme… I do not think Ethan, nor any of the readers or commenters of this thread, have worthless, valueless lives!)
I wish Willis used Disqus for the comments here, because I have a powerful need to give this an upvote.
The poster is free, the curse you have to pay for.
It might be the character everyone’s been dying to see for yours, Naomi! Yay!!!!!
I mean it could be Carol here to harangue Ethan to make an honest woman of her daughter too, which everyone would also love!
I’m going to guess Amber’s mom.
Yeah, Stacy is really the only character I can think of that fits the description.
I thought of that too but while she’s older, I’ve always thought of her still as one of the younger looking parents so not one to immediately get the ‘older woman’ tags.
These characters are 18. 30 is old to them.
It’s worth noting that he said “older” rather than “old”. She’s just older relative to them.
Joe’s dad said she’s “like fifteen years younger than” he is.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/disengage/
If it is, does that mean Amazi-Girl and Stacy will have to directly interact? Will Amber take the wheel again? Will AG have to present “as” Amber? Or will she actively try to avoid her if this is her and Ethan tips them off?
I’ve actually been hoping Naomi would show up at some point, just so that she’d fall out of her top spot on the F-bombs-by-appearance chart.
Either that or earn it proper-like by ranting constantly about fucking.
Oh. Ethan needs THAT kind of help.
A rapper to protect him from Roadblock’s disses? Yeah, looks like, but fortunately it doesn’t look like they need to be that skilled. Carla could probably do it.
You wouldn’t be implying Carla has ever been not that skilled at anything in her life, would you?
Perfect avatar is perfect.
someone’s come and ya check em out
Roadblock got some shit to spout
god, I hate Naomi. Also, Ethan, your friendship with Amber makes this much more sense now.
Ethan how long as this been going on.
Since 2005.
Asher approaching the door so defensively… Buddy, Ethan isn’t the only person in this room with some trauma to sort through
With an upbringing in _his_ family? Oh, yeah, he’s got some baggage.
Actually that’s a terrible way to approach a door defensively. Won’t protect him from much. Too much of his body is exposed in the normal places for gun fire or other things.
Well, if you’re going to look out the peephole, you’ve got to expose something.
Which is why you don’t in this technology laden age. A selfie stick and a smart phone recording work better than any mirror slipped under a door ever could, and can be done at an angle.
It’s Linda going door to door to remind people she’s not the worst parent in the series.
Linda Brown: Clearing that “Not actually prejudiced against her own kids” bar by dint of not knowing she’s got any reason to be!
Wait, I’ve mixed up Linda and Carol again, haven’t I? Linda’s one of the ones who is prejudiced against her own kids.
You could go back to the 1940s/1950s and call them Old Lady Brown and Old Lady Walkerton. Much easier to keep them straight, but if you ever slip up and let them or their close relatives hear you call them that, you are dead meat.
Yes and her good friend Carol Walkerton
Yeah. Linda Walkerton holds herself above Carol Brown for the whole ‘accessory to murder’ thing.
Does Ethan suffer from psychosis?
That or the void between the Shortpacked universe and Dumbing universe is deteriorating at a much faster rate then previously theorized.
SOGGIES MAY RULE
Ah but Soggies are I assume still long forgotten fictional characters who once menaced Cap’n Crunch in the Dumbiverse.
Aren’t they? (Dramatic sting)
I don’t know why, I thought that word caused a comment to get auto-moderated. Probably to keep them at bay.
Ethan seems… fine?
ethan
amber
hearing voices of superpowered individuals in their heads
(though im unsure if roadblock has powers??? i’m. not a gi joe person lol)
though then again neither does amazi-girl so. JOKE STILL WORKS
We haven’t actually seen her since Freshman Family Weekend, have we? Suppose she was bound to make a return appearance eventually. Ugh.
Feel like it’s very possible Ethan has been ignoring her messages, so she decided to come see him for herself.
Which might be a good move if the parent in question didn’t suck.
Older woman…
Mike’s Mom? (for a nickel)
That would be the most surprising and satisfying plot wise tbf.
100% now I hope it’s this
Mike left this note saying that anything ever happened to him, he wanted you to have this life sized poster of him. You may not want it because it’s kind of strange and it looks like he’s destroying some kind of weird mechanical doll, but in the note he said to point out that it was free.
Harriet Warner AKA Mike’s mom: Ethan, I was to give this to you in the event of anything happening to Mike. (Hands Ethan note). Exit Harriet
Note reads: Ethan, I am in witness protection now. Please do not worry about me or I’ll have to fuck your mom for a nickel. Mike Warner
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/cruise/ short older lady
And now I’m sad
Yeah that’s my guess too.
is it too late to request that my doodle in the book be roadblock
She’s a classmate from fall semester, checking up on him because she found out he’s enrolled in a class with her this semester but hasn’t shown up.
When you’re more insulted by the lack of effort from the manifestation of your self loathing than the comment itself.
“Is that the best you can do?”
“Oh go take a hike; we can’t all be Mike.”
Oh, I LOVE that Roadblock’s making his return from Shortpacked. I missed the Periodic Random Nerd Hijinks. And I love that Ethan’s just completely normalized this, even in his depressed state.
Oh and we’ve got company I guess.
them brothas still got lots to learn
Shortpacked hijinks make their grand return!
Oh god I hope it’s not Naomi. My blood pressure can only take so much.
It’s Robin.
She’s learned to hold a photo up to the peephole so that people will open the door.
Ok Ethan, how would YOU rhyme with ‘appointment’? Sometimes you gotta take what first comes to mind.
Anointment?
She’d make an appointment to drown you in ointment?
Badoinkment.
Denouement /jk
boyfriend
ASHER: “Oh, wait, it’s just that cougar I was banging before I met you.”
JENNIFER: :incandescent rage:
Which DOA characters are the most likely to end up in cougar relationships, ythink? I feel like Stacy is the obvious answer, right
Has she met Jacob in this universe?
Roadblock is a little rusty
At coming up with the mot justy
Them brotha aint lost his edge,
no matter how much ya try an’ allege!
Bit bold to presume Roadblock would waste his good material on garbage, eh Ethan?
Ethan needs to make a pact with the crow to go after Mike’s murderers.
Mike is the one who died. Doesn’t that mean he’s the one who should pact with the Crow to come back for revenge?
(though it might be tricky, what with ross macintyre being already dead and all)
I still maintain that the Mike hallucination that Amber has is just Mike.
It’s Jumboots Jamstrang, don’t open the door!
I hope Asher can hear Roadblock also.
Yes, but he hears it as a squeaky version of Ethan’s voice.
Poets have done far more with far less Ethan.
Line of coke
Pack of smoke
Little mention
Still no pension
Berma ShaveMan I feel old seeing Roadblock return again.
Your mom is here
Her bile is risin’
You better start apologizin’
At least he doesn’t have a picture of Mike that speaks in haiku.
Your mom came knocking.
Can I borrow a nickle?
Pay you back real soon.
*applauds
Ahhhhh Roadblock, my beloved.
yey
Short older woman… either Amber’s mom or maybe Carol? I don’t think that Carol is likely but he’s on her radar somewhere.
Yeah, Stacy was my first thought considering who would be likely to come to Ethan’s door for any reason.
I like how Asher’s paranoiac response to a knock at the door subtly implies he comes from less than safe circumstances.
With his family? Oh, yeah, def less than safe.
Get it together Roadblock.
Ethan’s mom? Wasn’t all his suffering enough?
There can always be more
Considering the description is short older lady it could be Amber’s mom wanting to check on Amber but not wanting to be overwhelming, too. Kinda doubt that Amber’s mom would know that Amber and Ethan aren’t nearly as close as they were in the beginning of the year.
I wish I had Ethan’s flavour of mental illness. Instead I just have this dumb tendency towards feeling like shit. Gimme a character who tells me to do it in verse!
Skill issue on your part.
Dissociation. Not as severe as Amber/Amazigirl, but up there.
Closest I’ve got is that any “unhelpful” thoughts playing in my head as songs or rhymes because my therapist tried to teach me cognitive diffusion techniques and my ADHD ass hobgoblin brain took it and ran.
So now whenever the slightest thing happens my brain starts singing very loudly “wanna die wanna die I really wanna die” to the tune of William Tell’s Overture which is simultaneously hilarious and annoying as hell.
Oh, no, now it’s an earworm!
Jesus Christ, that’s gonna have me chuckling all day.
Shortpacked! continues to leak. With an eight month buffer, maybe it’s time for Hundred Dollar Theatre 2: It’s Machete?
Dr. Machete’s course on temporal mechanics is an advanced course, You’ll have to wait until they are grad students.
ah, so THAT’s who roadblock was
Damn, not even Roadblock can make Ethan feel worse than he already does. And that’s *after* an improvement in his mental state.
“I think my rhymes are truly broke!
Broke broke broke broke broke broke broke!”
No, no, Ethan, that one was solid.
Let Roadblock cook.
Roadblock is basically just being an evil Wheelie lol
More like evil cartoon Blaster.
Sorry, Ethan, rhymes in the English language have pretty much run dry. I read an article in a glossy magazine about it, back when Disney movie songs first stopped worrying about rhyming. Which was, I wanna say, Frozen?
Roadblock’s gonna have to upgrade to limericks I think.
Asher, get away from this hot mess.
What, is there a minimum level of tidiness now, before a person can date?
I look forward to learning why Robin’s mother is knocking on Ethan’s door.
Now that Roadblock is here I got to ask the real question: Where is Sodomuffin?
You can criticize my verse
But your whole life is even worse.
Oh hey Roadblock’s back, sweet
when i first read this i was like, oh, i remember this joke from shortpacked! i get this reference! and then i thought about it a little longer and got sad about the implications about ethan’s mental state.
Have we seen Jacob’s parents? Because if his mother is pintsize, I bet she is adorable.