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PAX East
Roadblock:
The simplest of explanations
Is you’re having hallucinations.
Aren’t you starting to think
You should be seeing a shrink?
Congrats, you beat Ana!
that’s not really a challenge these days
life has distracted me aways
Hope all is well A.C.
As for Roadblock, was the disparagement rhyme in DoA or a prior work? I remember it, but not when it happened. And if he’s gonna get tagged shouldn’t it connect the call-back strip if it can?
Just thoughts to the alt-text voice.
It was an occasional theme in Shortpacked!
Merci!
Call back aaaalllll the way to Shortpacked! where Roadblock really dealt the pain with his awesome rhymes
I could’ve sworn the Roadblock poster had presented some painful truths in verse to emo-Ethan at some point, but if so, it was not in a publicly-posted comic. This is indeed the only DoA comic tagging Roadblock, and I scanned every comic Ethan’s tagged in going back to the kidnapping storyline with no sign of him even being shown alone in his room (the only time he’s ever heard Roadblock speak), so either I’m simply misremembering, or, possibly, it might have happened in a Patreon bonus at some point?
The real question is, why doesn’t Dr. Who, clearly in posession of a TARDIS, beat Ana every day by timetraveling?!
wibbly wobbly timey wimey reasons
Because she’s anachronistic herself, if you have two time travelers aiming to reach the same point “first” obviously only one of them can occupy that space, and you swiftly reach a point where there is no “before” you can go to.
Basically, in the path of life, you will encounter many Roadblocks.
Bravo.
Burma Shave
I never understood why Hasbro had the whole “black people speak in rhyme” thing, like where does that even come from?
I mean, it’s kinda racist, but…rap?
See, that would make sense if the execution was rhythmic like in rap. Granted, the only one of the trend that I’m particularly familiar with is Zecora from MLP, but to me it feels more like a Fae thing than a rap thing, which is strange to associate with people of African origin.
Also, I guarantee whatever the answer is, it will almost certainly be racist, it’s a weird stereotype applied to characters representing one race, it’s just so far out of left field that I can’t identify where it could possibly even come from
“You’re a loser with just one brain cell in your head / Your penis is small, and your last fuckboy’s dead”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP COCKBLOCKI mean Roadblock”
*Asher backs away slowly*
I feel like Asher’s had a few moments where he could have backed away slowly and each one has only made him want to get closer.
Ex Bad Boy with an “I Can Fix Them” complex, I’m digging him tbh
imagine how jennifer is gonna feel, knowing she came at asher with the vindictive toxicity when he was a self-destructiveness man all along. she’s gonna feel like a crap problem solver, ill tell you that much
Well considering how Jennifer torched her social circle when she broke up with Ruth now I better understand how she and Asher got together in the first place.
“Your penis is so microscopic,
You just wanna change the topic.”
I have no idea what Roadblock sounds like so just imagined that said in the voice of Killer B from Naruto XD
Look him up on YT, he’s like a way mellower Mr. T.
“I have sympathy for the person who makes an error.” –Roadblock
“Your subpar I.Q. brain / gives me empathic pain.”
i have NO idea what or who Roadblock even is, but i’m willing to accept this as canon
I wonder what Ethan thinks of the new Transformers One movie? Will it cure his depression? It’s actually really good.
I took my kids yesterday! It was great! My kids are TOTALLY going to get sick of me referencing the moral of the movie, buuuuut for a parent of kids with anger issues, the question “Is this how Optimus would handle things, or are you being overwhelmed by your desire for revenge like Megatron?” is just too spot on to NOT overuse
oh! oh! oh! I think this is the first time ever that my gravitar has actually been one of the two characters in my username!!!
Yay! 🥳
Careful there, the kids might decide being filled with vengeance is cool, a friend of mine certainly liked Megatron better when he was a kid XD
It’s definitely possible, and maybe even likely. But they’ll understand the moral I’m TRYING to teach, they’ll just be intentionally rejecting it, which is a choice we all have in life…
In a few more months, thanks to the magic of comic time, Transformers One will have come out while Ethan and Joyce were dating.
HE HAS RISEN
He has risen indeed!
Roadblock then proceeded to win the next fifteen bonus strip polls in a row.
At least it’s not Joyce’s Jugs.
When did they get a monkey?
you can’t just cut me off of the greatest bank robbery in history like that
This reference is too deep (or maybe too old) for me, so I will limit my commentary to pointing out that Ethan’s overshirt looks very handsome on him. Asher needs to start upping his game or risk falling behind.
Sounds like Asher needs to dress less to counter Ethan dressing more.
Do you want the short version, or the Shortpacked version?
(The Shortpacked version involves reading through the Shortpacked archives.)
OMG isn’t that.
Isn’t that Emo Peter Parker’s fit
You want forgiveness? Snap into a Slim Jim.
EAT MEEEEE!!!
OOH YEAH BROTHER!
this is about all you need to know on the first thing
https://www.shortpacked.com/comic/search/roadblock
Thanks!
Roadblock is an icon, it’s okay.
AYO DONT BE A FOOL AND DONT BE NO DRIP
ROADBLOCK IS BACK HES THE BEST IN THE STRIP
STRAIGHTEN UP AN DONT BE RUDE
BLOCK DONT TAKE NO ATTITUDE
heh I legit saw Transformers: One just yesterday,
felt like a rollercoaster, an absolute spectacle! *^-^*
…but I don’t suppose some well-known Transformers stan around here has already compiled a list of inaccuracies in it? XD
It’s its own continuity, so it can only be inaccurate to itself, really.
Still, where a new continuity chooses to deviate from previous tellings of the story and why is usually an interesting topic
I see.
Speaking as someone who mostly just remembers the 1980s cartoon, I LOVE what they did with the lore and characters’ origin stories. ^^
(that being said I maybe I should make time to rewatch the former now that my appetite has been wet haha)
Nice to hear Roadblock made the multiversal jump un-de-weirded.
Based off his prominence in Shortpacked!, I’m shocked that it took 14 years for poster-Roadblock to show up in DoA.
Holy shit that’s a deep Shortpacked! Cut that I completely forgot about until now
Well, at least Roadblock isn’t hitting on him.
“Little man Ethan, you’re such a squirt…
But maybe you’d look better without that shirt…”
“In fact seeing that might just make me squirt.”
That was supposed to have a “sorry/not sorry” attached. Not sure what went wrong there.
Nice to know that whatever the universe, Roadblock still exists.
“little man ethan, stop having sads
or i will punch you in the gnads”
“If you don’t quit bein’ a gloomy Gus
I’ll drive you over with a bus”
Perfect reinterpretation. Also, Asher will be found repainting his dorm at 5am the next day, after doubting the power of the poster.
just remembered i forgot to write thank you notes for my graduation gifts brb
Obviously.
I love that this somehow made it over from Shortpacked
Give us some rhymes dave
The real question is whether or not Roadblock in the live action movies counts as a Roadblock to Ethan.
While we’re on the topic of Transformer movies, let’s all agree to poor one out for the recent animated film “Transformers One” that seem to flew under the Radar do to poor marketing.
Seems like the movie is exceeding expectation immensely.
I didn’t even know it was out until I saw people were saying it was good.
We need to go watch it and encourage the executives that animated Transformers movies are profitable.
Y’know what the Bay movies’ problem is? None of the robots are fuckable enough. They’re all held back by something vital, and it’s just a damn shame.
Come on now, dont you remember glorious Devastators balls in 2?
Sorry, I don’t know what this means.
Asher: Does he tell you to hurt people?
Ethan: Only the guy who hurt Mike.
That’s handy, since Blaine is dead. We don’t have any evidence of Ethan owning a shovel, which is a little disappointing.
But if he DID have access to a shovel, he could pay Blaine back in spades.
I can dig it.
Okay I was already on board with Ethan/Asher but now I’m 100% a fan. this is adorable.
Asher is confused that someone could be so into something silly like Transformers, instead of a legit fandom like Neon Genesis Evangelion, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
He’s a Spike apologist and a Kawoshin shipper.
I didn’t know this until right this second but harbor no doubts. Thank you for bringing it into my worldview.
Deja Vu, I’ve just been to this place before…
I have never seen a single Transformer’s movie but I did recently watched Jennifer’s Body for the first time (everyone should watch it IMO) and it led me down a rabbithole of trying to find out why it didn’t do well in 2009 when it came out.
Turns out Megan was metaphorically crucified by public opinion, not least because Michael Bay and his crew called her a “thankless, classless, graceless, unfriendly bongo” in an OPEN LETTER after she compared Bay to Hitler.
Like yeah, she should have said “tyrant” because that’s what she meant; but Jesus Christ, I cannot imagine what it must have felt like to have your coworkers publish a letter basically calling you a whore and then have that letter be published on your boss’ website.
The world owes Megan Fox an apology, but especially Michael Bay. If someone asked me for an example of what misogyny looks like in a professional setting I would just show them that letter, good grief.
The movie’s marketing had a lot more to do with it, I believe. Jennifer’s Body was something primarily being marketed to men (and apparently stupid men since the test audiences mostly just asked for nudity). Anyone who has seen the movie is it is a horror movie for women about female friendship/something more. More akin to Ginger Snaps than Jason Voorhees. All the commercials just emphasized the sexiness.
Are we headed for a Wonderfalls Crossover ?
Right on red, right on red – MOOOOOOO!
“Destroy Gretchen! Destroy her!”
I predict the following plot twist:
Roadblock is not talking to him. It’s a still alive Mike in his closet.
Your new boyfriend is messy hot/ Roadblock thinks he might be a thot.
Oooh right I forgot that Ethan suffered hallucinations
Uh… Hope Asher gets him to see somebody about that
Isn’t seeing people kinda the problem when it comes to hallucinations?
(Yes, I know, that’s not what you mean. He’s hearing them instead.)
Let a guy live, it’s not like the hallucinations are gonna rear up and attack him.
i need an example of a ryhme
it’s been so long i NEED my shortpacked nostalgia fix
Little do they know Mike was playing the long game and put a micro-speaker behind the poster with prerecorded messages set to play at 3-day intervals.
You thought that he was gone,
That the judging stares were through,
But Roadblock’s in DoA now,
And he’s still staring at you!
The funniest part would be Asher turning into a transformers nerd
Is it April 1st already?
First mention of Roadblock and all I can think of is “who wants a body massage.” Maybe that is what Ethan needs…from Asher.
I’ve missed Roadblock
It’s funny cause poster Roadblock makes us nostalgic for 2010s nostalgia for the 80s…
Shortpacked was a fun comic with a low key tone and punchy, shameless jokes.
Asher: why do I have the sudden sinking feeling dating you is going to lead me to know more about all those characters and much much more than I could have ever needed or wanted to know on this subject?
well if Roadblock is getting a tag, then where’s his previous appearances?
Did you forget about the whole week dedicated to Roadblock and Squirrel putting each other down in rhyme? (Or at least I assume that’s what Squirrel was supposed to be saying. I don’t speak Squirrel.)
Roadblock was in Shortpacked to be specific,
his appearances there were rather prolific!
THIS IS LIKE THE THREE SPIDERMEN SHOWING UP TO ME
That guys a pest // you’re as sane as the rest!
Oh, it’s been a hot minute, hi Roadblock!
you’re finally out, you think you’re happy
it don’t fool me, your life is crappy