I tried to look up and see whether this is a Thing People Say, since a few characters have repeated that phrase in DOA. All I could find in a cursory search was jerks saying, “F your trauma,” as in, “F you for having trauma and asking that I be respectful of your triggers and boundaries.” Not quite the same thing.
Is it like … the so-called “Stockholm syndrome”, or the “tend & befriend / f*** & fawn” response to crisis?
I’m legit interested, as it’s not a common trope I’d seen before. What’s it about?
I’ve been speaking English for above 70 years and I’ve never heard the phrase, outside DOA. I know childhood trauma can color your sexuality. I grew up in a violent home, and to this day I like (controlled) violence with my sex. It’s proving you’re no longer a victim, or, possibly, proving you are a victim.
@Laura I think @brumagem is just quipping honestly.
@BarerMender, that makes sense though it’s notable the characters here are referring to a non-domestic traumatic experience in their early teens rather than childhood family trauma — not sure what to make of that. To me this sounds more akin to the “high school bully” fantasy trope. I’ll say that as a former mildly bullied teenager with an otherwise healthy childhood, i do find that sort of power play scenario compelling.
Yup, I’m not saying they’re commonly used phrases, just the concepts they evoked in my mind are different. A “fuck trauma” being a trauma tied to a specific sexual experience (IE sexual assault), and a “trauma fuck” being a sexual experience driven by past trauma (see comic above).
It’s easy to forget the words that form in one’s head don’t necessarily have a universal meaning.
Oh, yes, I get that 100%. It’s wild, talking about these issues with another person!
Trauma and its link with sexuality can feel very lonely while it stays locked within one’s own thoughts.
I’m trying to wrap my head around how that would be possible for me, given the diverse natures of my traumas. I mean there’s all the moving around we did as a child, the several times I got hit by trucks, the times I was assaulted with blunt objects. Looking back 1) It’s a wonder I survived my childhood 2) It’s another wonder I didn’t end up catatonic from my childhood traumas 3) How am I still a functioning human being after all this? And just how would I physically fuck my traumas?
If that’s it things might be okay, Blaine really had it coming, but there’s non-zero odds that Asher’s family had Amber and Ethan’s friend (for lack of a better term) quietly bumped off
I don’t think there was any real reason for them to off mike. Blaine was going full-out moronic mouth-off dumb. Mike didn’t know ToeDad and Blaine were tangentially involved with the mob.
NO, MIKE knew that since Ambers 13 year birthday. and He started blackmailing him again when Blaine showed up as Hammerman.
Mike was the one who figured this out.
I think Sal and amber also knew his Ashers connections, and sooner or later they will get suspicious he might have been blaines oncampass pointman. Plus Faz knows . Plus its obvious question to ask.
Mike knew, but there’s little reason to think the mob knew. Blaine wouldn’t have wanted to spill that, since he’d be in trouble for letting a kid find out.
And in his talk with Lester the mob cop, he was still focused on Amber and AG.
There’s little reason to think that Mike didn’t just die from the initial injury. Non-zero odds, but very very low.
Also it would have had to be only reported to the dirty cops, because once it’s in the records that he has info on the mob, his death will get looked into more closely.
Nor is there a convenient “he grabbed my gun” excuse here. A killing here would need to be more subtle.
Actually this brings up a good point. Do any of the cast know about Asher’s involvement in the most recent kidnapping and therefore Mike’s death? Because Ethan will NOT react well if he finds out.
Mike’s injuries that eventually led to his death were before Asher pulled the fire alarm that facilitated the kidnapping, nor did Asher know about Mike’s injuries at the time. Whether that is a distinction that would make a difference to Ethan is hard to say.
(also, y’know… Ethan was among the kidnapped himself)
There’s a plausible scenario where Mike’s injuries didn’t kill him, but a cop killed him keep him from telling the feds about Blaine’s records of which cops where getting mob money.
the cop who killed Blaine asked him to identify Amazigirl before he killed him. Like they were looking for loose ends to kill.
Has *Asher* put that together at this point? Does he know that Mike died trying to protect the friends group from the murderer he helped kidnap said friends group that includes Ethan? Or that Ethan and Mike were slightly messed up BFFs?
He has to have put the kidnapping together with his actions – unless Jennifer just never mentioned even casually that she knew the people involved in what had to be the most talked about thing on campus. (Admittedly, they didn’t hook up until after, but still …)
THE GENTLENESS AND UNDERSTANDING ON “you’re trying to fuck your trauma, aren’t you?” I’m dying. And Ethan replies with the most genuine smile I’ve seen since before the Hammertimes. You just know that sex’s about to get A++ freaky.
Is it concerning that Asher has got an “I Can Fix Them” thing? Maybe. My energy is in other things tonight :33c
It’s double concerning, because his “I can fix them” will lead to the revelation of “I fucked them (all) up” the closer he gets to the social group, and his inability to go back in time and fix his past self’s actions at that point could lead to an unpredictable breakdown, especially if he’s built relationships that he is emotionally dependant on by that point.
Listen, under the circumstances (such as this being a DM Willis production) this is SO WHOLESOME
Asher’s reaction is just perfect. Like obviously Ethan is a bit worried that saying this will end this moment, that Asher will either get defensive or guilty, it takes a bit of courage to say it.
But Asher doesn’t let his ego ruin the vibe, instead he immediately focuses back on Ethan like ,”duly noted, filed for later; now where were we?”
I love the fact that, as messed up as Ethan is, and as much as he’s signalling ‘let’s do something unwise and make the world burn’, he actually does the right thing and employs clear communication about a deeply personal motivation up front.
don’t think that really counts tbh
maybe we’ll see asher get some good true-but-harsh points in at some point though, like the benevolent side of mike
he did get walky real good in the feels that one time with “I didn’t send sal away, your parents did”
Okay I still think this is a real bad idea for Ethan’s mental health but on the other hand thumbs up for Ethan actually being upfront about it and some of his intentions and thumbs up for Asher taking all that in stride.
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Nic3
Dumbing of Age 14: You’re Trying to Fuck Your Trauma, Aren’t You
Dumbing of Age 14: I am Very Traumatized
(And I am very Tromatized)
just a little bit
I mean, if I could fuck my trauma….
… I can’t because most of my trauma stems from more abstract issues like certain incurable diseases and the concept of late stage capitalism.
Write these concepts on a piece of paper and make the wifey wear them as a mask while you fuck, that’s just as good as this.
And probably safer too. Late stage capitalism tends to become unstable once you add AI into the mix.
Now now, capitalism is unstable enough without glorified chatbots. Its instability is right there in the design principles.
If Chuck Tingle has taught us anything, it’s that being an abstract, intangible concept does not mean you can’t fuck it.
Oh, right, yeah. Correct. Now you’ve got me thinking of what titles would work here.
Being Pounded in the Butt by My Childhood Trauma But Eventually Getting Therapy to Become a Healthier Human Being DOES sound like a Tingler.
I fucked my trauma for about 7 years, given that I was in a committed relationship with my abuser. Cannot recommend.
Feel ya. When trauma comes from loneliness, it’s pretty hard to fuck it.
Fuck Capitalism!
as a treat.
Just the tip into the trauma… And the rest of the way to the hilt in DAT A-…
FUCK TRAUMA
LITERALLY
I’m pretty sure a “fuck trauma” and a “trauma fuck” are diametrically opposed concepts.
How so?
I tried to look up and see whether this is a Thing People Say, since a few characters have repeated that phrase in DOA. All I could find in a cursory search was jerks saying, “F your trauma,” as in, “F you for having trauma and asking that I be respectful of your triggers and boundaries.” Not quite the same thing.
Is it like … the so-called “Stockholm syndrome”, or the “tend & befriend / f*** & fawn” response to crisis?
I’m legit interested, as it’s not a common trope I’d seen before. What’s it about?
a trauma from sex
vs
having sex with the source of your trauma (as seen in today’s page)
I’ve been speaking English for above 70 years and I’ve never heard the phrase, outside DOA. I know childhood trauma can color your sexuality. I grew up in a violent home, and to this day I like (controlled) violence with my sex. It’s proving you’re no longer a victim, or, possibly, proving you are a victim.
@Laura I think @brumagem is just quipping honestly.
@BarerMender, that makes sense though it’s notable the characters here are referring to a non-domestic traumatic experience in their early teens rather than childhood family trauma — not sure what to make of that. To me this sounds more akin to the “high school bully” fantasy trope. I’ll say that as a former mildly bullied teenager with an otherwise healthy childhood, i do find that sort of power play scenario compelling.
Yup, I’m not saying they’re commonly used phrases, just the concepts they evoked in my mind are different. A “fuck trauma” being a trauma tied to a specific sexual experience (IE sexual assault), and a “trauma fuck” being a sexual experience driven by past trauma (see comic above).
It’s easy to forget the words that form in one’s head don’t necessarily have a universal meaning.
Oh, yes, that makes sense! Thank you, brumagem!
Uh, I’m pretty sure Fuck Trauma is meant in the same way as Fuck that guy! And not as an adjective.
Thank you for helping me make sense of it, milu!
Oh, yes, I get that 100%. It’s wild, talking about these issues with another person!
Trauma and its link with sexuality can feel very lonely while it stays locked within one’s own thoughts.
Thank you for sharing that, BarerMender. That makes me feel less alone.
I forget the rule number, but any trauma can be fetishized .
tbf, how often are you going to get the chance?
can’t wait to see how sal reacts, if either of them tell her
Sal develops new appreciation for “Wonderbread” aka Danny.
“Yer boring. Ah lahk boring.”
(sorry for doing her accent badly)
So yer both sayin’ that we’re not goin’ to get an Asher-Ethan-Sal threesome?
but maybe a Wonderbread sandwich instead
–Dave, “… I’m NOT boring! — am I guys?’
I’m trying to wrap my head around how that would be possible for me, given the diverse natures of my traumas. I mean there’s all the moving around we did as a child, the several times I got hit by trucks, the times I was assaulted with blunt objects. Looking back 1) It’s a wonder I survived my childhood 2) It’s another wonder I didn’t end up catatonic from my childhood traumas 3) How am I still a functioning human being after all this? And just how would I physically fuck my traumas?
Daaaaaaang.
Ethan GOING so hard here while BEING so hard here xD
This is today’s best comment/avatar combo.
Literature
P o e t i c C i n e m a
Good one!
𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊
Clitrature
Not until Amber writes some slash featuring two women.
There we go.
visual onomatopoeia appeal
Honesty is good for healing.
So is ointment. And lots of lube.
So you’re saying Asher’s been a very naughty boy and needs to be punished, is that it Ethan?
Somewhere Amber has a nosebleed and doesn’t know why.
I think I might too
Points for honestly!
That shadow Ethan’s eye makes him look like Zuko from Last Airbender LOL XD
also, Slipshine when?
scar’s on the wrong side
So….the actor that played Zuko on Ember Island?
yes, that was the reference, very good
Oh I get it now.
It’s flipped because Asher is kinda like Zuko’s foil or something?
Like, they were both born into deadly dynasties of which they became black sheep…
There’s a joke about a final Agni Kai in her somewhere….
Something something as hot as a firestorm?
so will the Slipshine have a sad violin, cello and percussion soundtrack?
do not forget the wailing kazoo solo
Hmmm. If it happens, I might have to get my first slipshine
That shadow was consistent enough from different angles that I was wondering if it was supposed to be a black eye or something.
This is wrong (good?) and yet hot.
Also props that even depressed, Ethan has some moral compass.
”Oh you’ve been held hostage at a convenience store? I’m gonna hold you ass hostage in my bed instead.”
I guess a lot of people gotta get in line to fuck Asher after this….Don’t trust him.
I hear you but I admit, I do trust him to be a good little slut and take his punishment.
Asher Makes Some Things Up To Ethan: a Dumbing of Age Pornographique
I really hope this works out for them
I was going to say this will end well but since its a step up from Jennifer it can only end up better for Asher
Good thing Amber isn’t too torn up about Blaine’s death.
or too bad she isn’t?
If that’s it things might be okay, Blaine really had it coming, but there’s non-zero odds that Asher’s family had Amber and Ethan’s friend (for lack of a better term) quietly bumped off
I don’t think there was any real reason for them to off mike. Blaine was going full-out moronic mouth-off dumb. Mike didn’t know ToeDad and Blaine were tangentially involved with the mob.
There WAS tho.
NO, MIKE knew that since Ambers 13 year birthday. and He started blackmailing him again when Blaine showed up as Hammerman.
Mike was the one who figured this out.
I think Sal and amber also knew his Ashers connections, and sooner or later they will get suspicious he might have been blaines oncampass pointman. Plus Faz knows . Plus its obvious question to ask.
Mike was shouting he knew. https://www.dumbingofage.com/smash-2/
Mike knew, but there’s little reason to think the mob knew. Blaine wouldn’t have wanted to spill that, since he’d be in trouble for letting a kid find out.
And in his talk with Lester the mob cop, he was still focused on Amber and AG.
There’s little reason to think that Mike didn’t just die from the initial injury. Non-zero odds, but very very low.
cops could be doing interviews, and someone says what they heard Mike shouting.
It’s certainly possible, but there’s no indication of it
Also it would have had to be only reported to the dirty cops, because once it’s in the records that he has info on the mob, his death will get looked into more closely.
Nor is there a convenient “he grabbed my gun” excuse here. A killing here would need to be more subtle.
Maybe? But also Mike fell off a building roof onto concrete, not sure there’s really a case for extra steps needed there.
Ethan was there when Mike died iirc. It would be hard to avoid him seeing.
put something in the drip
Actually this brings up a good point. Do any of the cast know about Asher’s involvement in the most recent kidnapping and therefore Mike’s death? Because Ethan will NOT react well if he finds out.
Not yet. But Faz may know. And Faz views Amber as family and Joyce as friend.
Mike’s injuries that eventually led to his death were before Asher pulled the fire alarm that facilitated the kidnapping, nor did Asher know about Mike’s injuries at the time. Whether that is a distinction that would make a difference to Ethan is hard to say.
(also, y’know… Ethan was among the kidnapped himself)
There’s a plausible scenario where Mike’s injuries didn’t kill him, but a cop killed him keep him from telling the feds about Blaine’s records of which cops where getting mob money.
the cop who killed Blaine asked him to identify Amazigirl before he killed him. Like they were looking for loose ends to kill.
Well, as long as we’re being open and honest about things.
(Also, EmCaCo, since I don’t think you saw my reply from the other day, yes my avatar is my OC, her name is Winter!)
Being Pounded In The Butt By My Hot Childhood Trama
Aww man all the middle school bullies are right after all, childhood trauma is gay.
Chuck Tingle is the hero we need AND deserve in these trying times
Oh my god it’s so true. Bless Chuck Tingle. You took the words out of my mouth, almost word for word
Pounded In The Butt By The Words Out Of My Mouth
Y’all are poets tonight
This made me laugh harder than it should have.
They might not be great for eachother right now, but they are so damn cute together and I want them to become eachother’s healing touch.
Already healthier than being with Jennifer.
Which is very concerning when you think about it.
Yeah not a good standard to hold to, but ehh, here’s hoping anyway!
Low bars were made for vaulting. Preferably with a flourish, but even just stepping over is good.
I’d embroider this on my bedside rug.
Do it!
I kinda think this isn’t Asher’s first brush with this.
This is one of the sexiest things to ever happen.
And I’ve just watched ContraPoints’ latest video, and that was very sexy.
do you wanna shag the priest or do you wanna shag god
Yesssssssssssssss
Been there, tread lightly.
It’s unbelievably good to see Ethan making any expression other than dead emo eyes, I can’t help but be hopeful
A real smile! And not a smirk or a grin, dude’s having fun.
This is oddly extremely healthy.
Oh wow, how the turns have tabled! https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/urges/
“You’re kinda the reason I was held hostage…like 3 months ago?”
I think that’s what Asher was expecting. I don’t know if anyone has actually realized that though.
Yeah, none of the cast is really in a position to have all the dots to connect.
Has *Asher* put that together at this point? Does he know that Mike died trying to protect the friends group from the murderer he helped kidnap said friends group that includes Ethan? Or that Ethan and Mike were slightly messed up BFFs?
He has to have put the kidnapping together with his actions – unless Jennifer just never mentioned even casually that she knew the people involved in what had to be the most talked about thing on campus. (Admittedly, they didn’t hook up until after, but still …)
Knowing about Mike is a bit less likely.
THE GENTLENESS AND UNDERSTANDING ON “you’re trying to fuck your trauma, aren’t you?” I’m dying. And Ethan replies with the most genuine smile I’ve seen since before the Hammertimes. You just know that sex’s about to get A++ freaky.
Is it concerning that Asher has got an “I Can Fix Them” thing? Maybe. My energy is in other things tonight :33c
It’s double concerning, because his “I can fix them” will lead to the revelation of “I fucked them (all) up” the closer he gets to the social group, and his inability to go back in time and fix his past self’s actions at that point could lead to an unpredictable breakdown, especially if he’s built relationships that he is emotionally dependant on by that point.
Listen, under the circumstances (such as this being a DM Willis production) this is SO WHOLESOME
Asher’s reaction is just perfect. Like obviously Ethan is a bit worried that saying this will end this moment, that Asher will either get defensive or guilty, it takes a bit of courage to say it.
But Asher doesn’t let his ego ruin the vibe, instead he immediately focuses back on Ethan like ,”duly noted, filed for later; now where were we?”
It’s ADORABLE and SEXY af
TBH, I get a “I can make him worse” vibe here.
On the one hand this seems all kinds of messed up, on the other you know what this might actually be the healthiest possible outcome for Ethan?
Weird indeed.
Amber: “Huh, could’a sworn I just heard a shoe drop, but it’s still up there.”
We should stop commenting on the 69th comment. That’s it. For the SOLIDarity
His logic is infallible. This cannot be argued.
Hawt….?
Wait till he finds out he’s indirectly responsible for other things, like the mass kidnapping which then led to Mike’s death.
I love the fact that, as messed up as Ethan is, and as much as he’s signalling ‘let’s do something unwise and make the world burn’, he actually does the right thing and employs clear communication about a deeply personal motivation up front.
If you think about it really Leland is behind it all.
No Ethan don’t fuck Leland.
Leland is off at Yale somewhere. Good job Dorothy decided not to go, who knows what type of encounter they would have
Honest and open communication is so sexy.
Xjdkeofgdjskcfbbggfds I am a puddle
Jennifer who?
if he was trying to fuck his trauma he’d be looking for someone who’s way snarkier
No, Mike is dead – or in witness protection
He retroactively fucked that trauma before it was trauma
don’t think that really counts tbh
maybe we’ll see asher get some good true-but-harsh points in at some point though, like the benevolent side of mike
he did get walky real good in the feels that one time with “I didn’t send sal away, your parents did”
You’re saying Ethan is a hipster?
That’s pre-emptive fucking, actually.
[/pedantic]
Well, Ethan, considering you look like emo now,. that’s a lot of trauma.
Also, voice headcanon for Asher = Stallone
Mine is Johnny Yong Bosch. Like the Ichigo kurosaki/Ne Zha/Rentaro amami voice
I have a prediction that a revelation of a much more recent and terrible trauma is going to destroy Asher and Ethan’s relationship.
I believe Asher will reveal he prefers GI Joe to the Transformers.
The movie version.
I’d say he’d prefer the movie Transformers version to the cartoon but that would just be silly.
😀
Good for Ethan bringing up their shared connection so early.
They may have a more serious talk about it in the future. But for now, it’s smooching time.
Shit like this makes me glad I’m entering the working force soon bc. I need this slipshine. I need it.
“You’re trying to fuck your traumas, aren’t you?”
That sounds Exposure Therapy to me.
What I think it’s great in this couple.
25 years later: “So Dad, what first attracted you to Poppa?”
Ethan: “…”
Asher: “…”
Ethan: “His, uh…kindness…”
Asher: “…yes, my ENORMOUS and often-displayed amount of kindness”
Okay I still think this is a real bad idea for Ethan’s mental health but on the other hand thumbs up for Ethan actually being upfront about it and some of his intentions and thumbs up for Asher taking all that in stride.
Wait, is “You’re trying to fuck your trauma, aren’t you?” the actual darkest this comic has gotten so far? Like, we’ve had actual deaths. *Shivers*
darkness comes in many diferent colors
–Dave, oh hey, a simultaneous shoutout to Biggle _and_ Sucharitkul
lol getting major venture bros flashbacks here
https://youtu.be/3oX32xK0zFQ
I mean, it’s probably not the *worst* way people have tried tackling their trauma in this comic strip (?)