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paulaptb @paulaptb.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Winter’s Politics
@winterspolitics.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Ph03n1x24 @ph03n1x24.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Sheryl Weikal (The Leftist Lawyer) @leftistlawyer.com ⋅ 1d
Polling USA @usapolling.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
onion person @junlper.beer ⋅ 2d
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“Can I transfer my security clearance to the private sector?”
Clearance, Clarence to the private sector, Hector
Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
“Look, my dad and stepmom have a vacation in Florida in a few months, if I break into Mar-a-Lago-”
“I am upset that the probability of that succeeding is non-zero.”
Once again Joe proves to be the best boyfriend for Joyce
Right? It’s oddly wholesome.
I particularly enjoy that he doesn’t argue with her feelings but changes to ‘I give you my express permission’. It’s a solution she can accept and use, instead of an argument that makes her feel bad in a different way.
yessss this is what i love about this interaction! this exactly
Woo! Love this conversation!
Joe has a hypnotic touch
And smoldering eyes.
Panel 5… be still my heart.
OR, to quote a sadly problematic classic…
… I’ll be in my bunk…
What time is it? I’m trying to figure out how impressed/ possibly disturbed I should be of Joe’s frequency.
Well, we know it’s at least lunchtime.
Ah to be young again.
I don’t know if it’s young, but personnally i’ve never reached 6 in a whole day. 3 I think was max so I don’t know if it’s me or Joe is just… Neverending
When I was 18-20, I could definitely do two or three in a row. It’s still a lot, sure, but it’s not unachievable. I’m sure there were days when I did five or six in a day. Sometimes you’re just that bored/horny, I guess.
I think I’ve capped at 5 times in one day, but that was throughout a whole day, and I’m under the impression that we’re still during daylight in winter, which means it’s at latest the afternoon
To make an assessment we need to know both the time and how Joe’s counting.
I think it’s “after lunch”, so there’s a start?
It’s after/during dinnertime…. As far as I know the strips don’t do ‘at the same time…’ Rather it is implied that the characters are all just doing their thing when we aren’t following them…
Unfortunately we’re still missing a key variable and I don’t think Joe is ever going to go into detail about how he counts separate instances of masturbation
I mean, the easiest way of counting sets a clear minimum on his *ahem* output.
To be clear, I’m not saying that a session without ‘output’ isn’t valid or doesn’t count. But I suspect many people wouldn’t choose to start something they don’t expect to be able to finish. Maybe Joe’s built different though.
There’s also the question of scheduling. Where does he find the time? And in college – privacy.
They presumably share a half-bath with the dorm next door. Danny’s out with Sal, so he only has to account for the neighbors.
c’mon, Joe, she asked first
Gotta max out that Social Link first, Joe.
You’ll never see them coming~
Any number after 4, you’re no longer doing it for fun. You’re trying to prove a point.
Or you’re hungry
Or you’re bored
Or you really don’t want to get back to your lawsuit evaluations
Or you’re 3 and you’re being threatened by… I think they were cyber witches?
LOGAN. LOGAN 3.
I was really curious what anime you were talking about, and then really appalled, and then I read the second comment.
My kingdom for an edit button
I still don’t get it
There’s a scene in Logan’s World (the sequel to Logan’s Run) where Logan and his wife are basically captured by witches (the book uses a slur for Travelers/Romani people, but they ride on flying sticks so I’m saying witches), and for some reason or other they demand that he has sex with their leader and then all of them or they’ll kill his wife or something, so he winds up basically screwing six times in a row, without a break. To quote the book:
The first orgasm was good.
The second orgasm was all right.
The third orgasm was bad.
The fourth orgasm was painful.
The fifth orgasm was agony.
The sixth orgasm was damnation”
Oh no. I read that. When I was a kid. Maybe that was why I didn’t date until I was 30.
The books themselves, I don’t remember a whole lot about. Probably because there isn’t much to them. But for some reason, the scene in which the protagonist is gang-raped by witches stuck out to me as something the author really didn’t have to do. Hell, the “negotiation” before that just reads like an exhausting D&D interaction where one player won’t stop trying to bargain with the clearly immovable NPC who’s already said no like seven times, so the DM just starts giving more and more extreme/annoyed responses.
That was in my copy of Logan’s Run that I read in 1971 from the school library. These days it would be banned as pornography because of that passage.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
Or you lack any form of refractory period and you generally masturbate til exhaustion just to make the arousal go away (6-9 sounds about right for that in my experience)
Whenever I get like that the horny only goes away until I eat something. I think my record number of orgasm during sex was 12, and… Not as high for masturbation, a one digit number, but yeah Joe seems realistic to me here.
Joe is 1: 18 or 19, 2: Accustomed to pursuing pretty much any sex he thinks he can get, 3: starting a relationship with Joyce that has not reached a level that would give him chance of release. 6 times sounds like an awful lot and is probably an exaggeration, but I wouldn’t wright it off entirely.
Sometimes, you just find a REALLY good scene or music video.
Man, what time of day is it? Are the Walkertons still having lunch??
Eh, some folks’ refractory periods are shorter than others.
The time I’ll get a new partner, I’m sure I’ll pass 10 times.
That “private sector” will still have to be TEMPESTED, first!
I DON’T WANT, ANYBODY ELSE. WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU I TOUCH MYSELF.
“Don’t Touch Me There”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w-HpBPJC1I
I automatically read this in Weird Al’s polka medley voice, because you wrote it in all caps.
Excelent use of the Divinyls on the perfect moment
So how long after meeting Carol? sorry, sorry, trying to delete it.
the wholesomeness always comes out of left field with these two and it’s magical
So what level is Joe at, do you think?
Alt-text says 2.
I’m honestly surprised Joyce’s brain hasn’t fizzled at the mental image of Joe rubbing one out six times.
(How has Danny not permanently moved out of their room at this point)
(I hope they’ve aired out their room at least)
give her time
Between Amazi-Girl’s patrols and Sal’s general allergy to spaces with four walls and a door, how much time has Danny even been spending in the room?
Danny talks about being sexiled fairly often – was it mostly for masturbation?
Six times? Oh wow, they both so horny right now. Really must be like torture huh
*plays “JoJo Torture Dance Song” on hacked muzak*
Hoping 6 times is not a regular thing, that’s one place you really don’t want chafing
I’m presuming Joe is uncut since he’s Jewish, so there might be uh, less?
I haven’t read his slipshine though.
I’m like 99% sure you’ve got that backwards.
…wouldn’t him being Jewish mean he’d most likely be cut, though?
Isn’t that the other way around?
Circumcision is very typical for Jewish guys.
Yup, pretty sure Nono got that wrong
Even highly assimilated, largely areligious Jews generally have a bris for their sons – and circumcision is pretty common in America for non-Jews as well. Joe is almost certainly circumcised.
I mean, if you can assume someone has enough on hand lube, it’d probably be Joe.
Fair point
Given one scene somebody linked to in the comments yesterday I think saw him handing a tube of lube and small towel to Danny and popping on some dark glasses and headphones to “give him privacy” – I think Joe has an adequate supply of lube
Or do in ways that aren’t like trying to start a fire.
If there’s no sizzling, does it even count?
It was the heaaaaat of the moment
Oof, yeah, hate that. And yet I’ve never gotten into the habit of using lube…
Upcoming (ahem) Slipshine: Working title “Level Five”.
My god six times? Joe, what on earth is your refractory period???
Even if he had an hour refractory period, he could do it once an hour. Or is that short too? I’m not a good judge of normal in this subject.
TBH I also have no frame of reference for what is normal or average in this respect would someone with more knowledge please weigh in?
For a young man, it is not implausible.
Before sleep, in order to sleep,
and waking up woith morning wood, and using it are both common.
Plus a deliberate session in the day . a teenager having a base of 2-3 times is normal, and that was before live porn on demand 24-7
maybe before a test to relax or a date not to screw up,
10 or 11 is probably my max. 6 is a little high, 4 is more a an avg
I honestly think my refractory period at that age was like, five minutes. …Although it might be that it was more like 20-30 minutes and I just spent the entire period rubbing my semi? x3
(sorry if TMI)
*******TMI Spoiler Alert*******
In my case, my refractory period is more or less non-existent. That’s why I said I wasn’t a good judge of normal, even though I’m AMAB. I remember once going 8 times (I actually lost count, so it could have been more) during a solo session.
The times I stopped were just when things got way too sensitive. And these were fully ejaculatory orgasms. I looked online, and it wasn’t the special method I saw. It was just straight masturbation.
Now that I’m on HRT, it’s different. The sensitivity is amped up even more, and I don’t actually know how my body works anymore. And I’m not going to go to a Laundromat to figure it out.
If anyone’s gonna say “Welcome to being a woman” as a response, I will teleport through your computer screen and be VERY disappointed in you. And maybe send you a strongly worded email.
I’m on the opposite side. Super asexual. I think maybe….every few months I feel a horny, but most of the time zip. It actually worries my mother more than me XD she worries I won’t get a husband. Joke’s on you, I’ll be single forever cos I like girls and am a completely, utterly useless sapphic
05-council clearance required.
Object Class: Euclid
how are you even making that much semen bro
Impressment?
It is mostly mucus, after all.
Joyce hasn’t even reached level 5 yet.
I’ve always fancied learning how to climb
(I once masturbated seven times)
I’d study math
(In the bath)
And search for meaning
(In one evening)
And I’d run up hills
(It wasn’t fun, but still)
And learn to paint
(A man my age)
Just to know I can
(It’s nice to know I can! It’s nice to know I can!)
What the heck? HA HA HA.
It’s from Groundhog Day, The Musical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HOmmtb_cGo
What kind of secrets are level 5? Like Dorothy’s level 3 and I think Joyce has told her she’s into be flattened by ass, so like what spank bank material can be more revealing than that?
I mean she’s said it herself, you unlock what images she thinks about while she’s doing laundry.
Yeah, but we don’t know what those images are. That’s what I’m asking.
Joe rubs his thing on her tummy.
Joe keeps giving the right answers, wow
He’s doing really impressively for a teenager in their first relationship.
Joe may be new to relationships, but he’s been hooking up for a long time. Those improv skills probably help a lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been doing reading, though.
Also, Joe’s a smart guy, and he’s had Danny’s example for years, both good and bad.
“If you want to have a frank discussion about turn-ons and things we each find attractive, that can be a lot of fun.”
“I don’t even know how to make my mouth make words that would go into that kind of conversation.”
“Yeah, but we you can we can talk. And till then, please be comfortable with this. You deserve to be comfortable. That is important.”
this mans ballsack is like a deflated balloon they are hollow there is nothing left in there
Why does this read like a dril tweet
I miss dril tweets.
Testicles only produce a tiny amount of seminal fluids, the majority is produced in the prostate.
Even Joyce has not yet reached level 5.
Thought Joyce was about to ask to watch for a second there.
That’s quite a good idea, she should ask to watch, and Joe might well say yes. I doubt she’d ever reciprocate if Joe asked though.
Well Joe’s… Got some impressive stamina. Huh.
Appreciating his sex positivity here, and just how generally cool he’s being about talking this stuff out with Joyce.
Maybe he just does it often when his refractory period dies down. Like, if you have 6 orgasms in a row, wouldn’t that technically be masturbating one time?
“I masturbated to some of Amber’s M/M slashfic.”
“Damn, I guess hot girls ARE turned on by bisexual men. I’m really missing out.”
I fucking adore these two, both individually and how they play off of one another.
#JoeyceSweep
These two are absolutely dominating the competition. Danny and Sal are a close second, but they’re not making faces like Panel 4 Joyce is, so they’ve got some catching up to do.
Were none of the people I this comment section ever teenage owners of a penis? 6 isn’t that much people
“Teenage Owners of a Penis” is great band name.
Okay, it’s true I’ve never been a teenager owner of a penis, but isn’t it only lunchtime? Does seem like a fair amount for still that early in the day.
*yes, I’m aware of the existence of exaggeration
Six definitely is a lot. I mean it definitely was a thing when I was a teenage penis owner, but I won’t deny that it was a lot.
I definitely consider my teenage penis-having self to have been of average sex drive, and I almost never even hit 2x per day. 6x just seems unattainable even at the peak of my hormones.
I’ve done 6 and more and lemme tell you. It’s a lot.
I’m just glad I’m not the only one here with a crazy libido.
idk I always kind of thought hedonism makes sense. why wouldn’t you want to be happy? and horny is just a flavor of happy, really. a flavor i’ve cut back on a bit these days… but still a welcome flavor. (For reference, I’m in the second half of my twenties.)
Some days are more active than others, yeah. Not gonna share my own habits, but I do wish I’d known about lube before I was 20.
Yeah that’s relatable.
I feel like six by lunch is a lot, not even from a stamina perspective but a scheduling one. Like does Joe not have classes today? Where does he find the time?
Maybe he’s like those lunatics who post in Twitch chat and Let’s Play comment sections about jelqing and edging during class.
Probably not.
There might be some days you just have one class. Maybe you’ve got some M/W and some T/Th and only one M/W/F.
As another member (hah!) of the “Former teenage owner of a penis”* club, 6 is not impossible, but yeah, kinda a lot.
* The acronym is FTWOOAP, which feels like it ought to be onomatopoeic in some way, but I’m not sure how.
Sounds like a Don Martin sound effect.
Where does the W come from?
My idiot fingers that have typed “for the win” a few too many times.
Kinda like a whip crack
Six may not be that many in terms of getting a stiffie, but rubbing one out every time … now THAT gets to be a bit much. Causes excessive soreness of the gland, or excessive expense for lube.
I don’t have one, but I’m pretty sure 6 is still a lot before midday. Maybe not in a whole day for someone with a high libido, but it does seem like a lot of times for so early in the day still. He’s gonna be exhausted and starving later.
Keep in mind we don’t know how long he’s been up. College kids can and will keep odd schedules. He could very well be still up from the night before, powered by youth and energy drinks
My sleep schedule is also odd, so that is more fair if he has been up a lot longer.
Door’s still open.
I said it once I’ll say it again.
God i love these 2
Joe, the correct answer to Joyce’s question is “Would you like me to?”
Real
Ahhhh Joyce, your hangups are numerous and they are varied.
I blame the parents.
Usually a safe call in this comic, and especially with the Browns.
“No you won’t.”
“no i won’t”
Those aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Joe’s inner self: “You know you just told her you want her to touch herself and somehow DIDN’T sound like a complete pig, right?”
Joe: “Get lost.”
Joyce: “Wait what?”
Joe: “Not you.”
LEVEL UP:
+2 Maturity
+2 Inimacy
-2 “That’s What She Said”
Nobody has ever reached level…..that’s probably including Joyce.
Damn Joe that’s impressive. Both your handling of this situation and your “handling” of the other “situation.
they’re so cute when they flirt with each other
Oh for the days where six was a long lunch break.
Man-oh-man! Is this actually the way it is in real life these days? It sure wasn’t like that when I was in college.
Everything is always the way something is these days for somebody.
Truer words never spoken. Easier to follow, sure, but truer, no.
Yeah, I definitely coulda worded that cleaner.
I wouldn’t change a word.
Don’t encourage me, I’ll only get less intelligible.
Daaang Joyce, goin straight for it. I respect it. And this is the best it coulda went sided fron a make out match (time will tell)
-You will not masturbate less for me.
*hand waving*
-I will not masturbate less for you.
New Grabatar. Kinda Fitting.
Thy shall not celibate in my name
Ok, people, we all on our 30s, almost. We all got surprised because Joe’s information. Remember, he’s an athlete, young, living a pervert life.
And when you get a new partner, I’m sure you will pass 6 times a day, easily.
Level 1: Mac and Cheese recipes.
Level 2: Comic characters, like presidential Doris. Not mixed food. Glasses. Liz.
Level 3: Post trauma about kidnapping. Christian past. Boyfriends. Jesus uses blue robe because Picture Bible.
Level 4: Laundry machine. Climbing boys. Bisexuality onset. Sadness because mom. Ryan. Autism. God not real.
Level 5: Rick Mullins playing hammered dulcimer.
6 times ? Oo
They’ve only been dating for a day, so it’s fine that Joyce doesn’t feel comfortable disclosing that information right now, but I hope Joe is able to communicate to her that it isn’t fair for her to expect that information from him without being willing or able to reciprocate.
I understand and agree with all you’ve said here.
I’d just like to make some space for the possibility that Joyce could ethically ask Joe question she discovers she’s not yet ready to answer herself, without *expecting* (as in “demanding”) an answer.
In many topics, two people can lie on different places on the spectrum of comfort in discussing their personal feelings/ thoughts/ perspectives. I think there can be space for the person with greater comfort in sharing to share (if they *want*) even if the other isn’t yet ready.
In my personal experience, one person sharing willingly can often help the other gradually shift on the spectrum to being able to share as well.
It’s so wholesome that they talked it out and didn’t spin it out into some silly drama. I’m so proud of them.
I do still wonder what Joe’s next interaction with Dorothy is going to be like.
That might go in all kinds of directions considering how Dotty is on the verge of falling apart…
love this for them
Much as I appreciate the self-honesty in panel 4, I kinda wanted Joyce to say, “darn it, Joe, let me give you this.”
Joyce herself only recently reached level 5.
She’s done it once. Am I to expect “I’ll do it less” means “I’ll do it less than I’m thinking of doing it”?
She’s done it twice, but the second one was a Paetron strip. Since she started dating Joe two days later, that means she was doing it once a day for the entire time.
This is so wholesome it should be a poster about communication.
(Accesses memory files) Six times for an athletic young man isn’t really unusual.
Panel four: Joyce may be realizing that all the religious rules and resolve in the world won’t really change how much you do it. The only effect would be how guilty you feel. (also from memory files)
Panels five and six: Perfect. (amused smile) “Do you feel comfortable being asked the same question?”
10/10
Even at the height of my hormonal teenage days, I think I could barely make 3/day. XD I think I did 4 once, but that was on a… particularly motivated day, shall we say.
Joyce herself isn’t even at security level 5.
This seems accurate.
I mean, he said “like” six times, so I assume it’s a slight exaggeration. I mean, six in a day is one thing, but in one morning? Yikes. But also, being a healthy young man in a new relationship that has not yet reached sexytime stage, I would not be surprised to see an increase over the norm.
Yes. He exaggerated about being in a threesome, for example.
But the 6 times in a row is perfectly possible.
“I had a threesome the other night. There were a couple of no-shows but a good time was still had”-style?
Stacy had a headache
Jenny was in jail
Brenda had to work late
Kate was getting Jenny’s bail
Angela got scurvy
Ashley caught a cold
Sally’s dad exploded
That’s what I was told
Michelle had to play checkers
Ann was baking pies
Wendy’s dad exploded too
That might’ve been a lie
Pam had frisbee lessons
Stella had ballet
…How late into the day is it? Isn’t this a school day? and he still got it out 6 times?
Time management aside, he’s going to physically hurt this thing with a going rate like that long term.
It sounds a little crazy to most people, but there are guys who wank ten times a day, and others who never do, or so the studies suggest at least. It’s easy to see how this is hard to reliably study.
I’m not doubting he can get it up that many times, he is obviously very active. I’m surprised he finds the time And privacy in his day in college of all places to make it six times while the sun’s still up.
“Hey Danny, what’s your class schedule? No particular reason, just having an interest in how you’re doing.”
spiders onan, who wanks 1000 times a day, is an outlier and should not be counted
Joyce is still at security clearance 4, isn’t she?
Joe lowering his hands as Joyce asked him what he were thinking while he’s busy…
The answer is probably Joe’s sex tape with Roz. While she might be ok with Joe knowing she thinks about him, admitting she watched his sex tape, and got off to watching him with someone else, crosses several lines of awkwardness.
Also, I don’t believe the alt-text (I know it’s a joke). She’s been more open with Joe than with Dorothy and Becky about some things, because Joe lets her be the her she’s becoming. For example, when she was getting birth control, she put on “people will think I’m a hussy” theatrics for them. For Joe, she just says she’s on it, as part of a joke about her insecurities, without worrying he’ll judge her. There’s been developing since she needed someone to confide in during her trip home with Becky.
Okay, I could be wrong but I absolutely did not see Joyce’s anxiety about being on birth control as “theatrics”, and if she’s comfortable enough to joke about it to Joe later, that’s because Dorothy and Becky talked her through her initial reaction. And I’m the guy who’s constantly accusing everyone of being performative all the time.
I think it was exaggerated. Shame over other people thinking about her sexuality is still an insecurity. But a lot of these kids feel pressure to keep being who other people think of them as. ttps://www.dumbingofage.com/justthat/
I don’t think she feels that pressure with Joe. The birth control theatrics were probably more for Dorothy than Becky, but that was still when Joyce was pretending not to know that Becky had sex. Now that Becky and Joyce are coming to terms with their differing ex-vangelical paths, Becky is pressuring Joyce less (and she used to police her Christianity a lot, they both did to each other, it’s how they were raised)
SIX TIMES?!? I don’t care how much slippery stuff he might use, that’s gonna chafe!
I reccomend 3B action cream to prevent chafing but I don’t think it’s designed for that
6 times ??? isnt it like, noon ???
It’s him, throwing to all of us, boomers, that he’s a sex machine.
Calc 2 was at 10 am. There’s time after Calc to go eat lunch, including walking off campus to Taco Bell. Then polysci. Sal met her parents to head to Galasso’s after polysci let out. I’m thinking it’s around 2 or later.
6 times in one morning is difficult if you’re just stroking it with lube, but not unreasonable if you use other methods (and have a refractory period of like 2 minutes).
Though I wonder if I would weird out the comments section by saying one method is to slap it repeatedly to replicate vibration. Chafing isn’t that common, and it’s a lot less messy when you don’t need lube. Either that, or an actual vibrator with a blanket.
Yeah, just go all Star Platinum on your dick and you’re good to go.
Oh no! Joyce just had a flashback to the original timeline!!!
It’s Bible-Man, isn’t it…
Lotta people confused that other people’s wieners work differently than theirs today.
Joe is probably circumcised due to being Jewish… oh wait, most/majority of American men are circumcised, no? So he wouldn’t be exactly unique in this regard.
Yeah, for some reason American doctors are fucking obsessed with chopping off baby foreskins, to the point they apparently don’t even ask first most of the time.
Yikes… I heard it started due to some doctor advertising for it and then it just spun out of control?
Beware the foreskin that spins out of control!
The Foreskin that will Pierce the Heavens!
Believe it or not, racism is involved.
Okay I’ve got to hear it, did the whites want to appropriate circumcision from Jews and Muslims O_o ?
the invention of beyblades
I imagine Joyce’s parents were once at level 4 and I would further posit that this is no longer the case
Or they were level 3 too but she was too cinnamon roll to have additional levels prior to college. Mom is now level 1 though, definitely.
I am fairly certain they were level 1 at most. Like trying to deny she found a boy attractive level of sharing, not “hey, I colored in a picture of Michelangelo’s David with a peach colored pencil, and he’s hot, want to see?”
Has there been a solo Joe Slipshine? Just wondering:D
Shit, JOYCE doesn’t have security level five.
So…has someone told Joe about the Letterkenny “Destroy your Dick December” sketch?
Because if he decides to do that challenge he may end up in the hospital.