I don’t think it’s necessarily a tragic story.
Affection feels like this incredibly powerful force when you’re in your summer years, but once autumn comes around many people find that their tastes change. You don’t want the rollercoaster of emotion, you want something steady and comfortable. The tea and blanket of relationships, if you will.
Yeah there’s something really special about how something feels at the beginning, especially when you’re a wildly anxious wreck. When you’re in it you would probably prefer it was not that way, but every once in awhile now that everything is stable and happy I think back on it very very fondly.
Ever meet someone who just makes you stop in your tracks, but you have absolutely no fucking idea what to do about it? That’s happened to me at least three times.
@Needfuldoer do you have ADHD? I’m just curious as I had similar issues during my teenage years where my early emotions/crushes would lock me out of even being able to approach people. I’d experience intense emotions so rapidly I couldn’t process it.
Apparently low emotional regulation can be tied to ADHD though it can also be several other factors.
Yes. When I was diagnosed (almost 20 years ago, holy smokes), it was “ADD” because I don’t have the hyperactivity. I think the current DSM would call it ADHD-PI? I’m also technically slightly Autistic; it used to be named after a controversial German scientist but that terminology’s since fallen out of favor.
For me it’s less “lockout”, more “oh crap what do I do what do I do” as I get extremely self-conscious, fear of coming across as a creep sets in, and all masking goes out the window. I have less than zero game.
It’s a bit like this early strip where Walky meets Dorothy, except I don’t throw toys at them. (Maybe that’s the secret?)
I’ve wondered about being tested in the more modern age but as a teenager I was tested as having ADHD along with an above average retention rate. Looking around I’ve realized alot of my more recent friends have generally been on the spectrum. I’m not sure if that would mean I do but I do like people who hyperfixate which is a symptom of both ADHD and autism because I find people with clear interests are easier to understand than nerotypical folks who give generic responses I don’t always follow.
I used to get self concious more around crowds or I’d overthink how I walk lol.
I think my lockout also occured from my religious upbringing which filled my head with alot of paranoia about how relationships are supposed to match up. I think some of that programming still interferes with me today.
Have you had many relationships? I’ve found the ones that I’ve had always stemmed from strong friendships over time which is where adulthood sucks since there isn’t a college commons to hang around and play Yugioh.
I’m also curious if you’ve heard of RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)? It isn’t an official diagnosis yet but there’s a correlation with ADHD and RSD at least to my understanding.
Experience makes you more cautious with your feelings and that doesn’t mean that attachment is beyond you but it does mean I don’t rapidly experience attachment/excitement the way I did as a teenager/young adult. Also alot of emotions lack the same kick when they’re not new.
I can relate to Joyce alot as I came from a very restrictive upbringing. Despite being a guy and my deconversion happening in my late 20’s rather than early on in College.
I struggled with a sense of identity without the religion and then I worked retention customer service during the pandemic which overloaded me with emotional labor. Doing waaaay better now but doing high intensity emotional support without much of my own just drained me which would be my terrible secret past.
This strip resonates way too much with me for my comfort lol, 10/10 for effort Joyce. Replace the arms behind the head with one curled up on my chest in a non-existent waistcoat like an 1800’s portrait and I’m pretty sure I’ve done this.
This feels…Very familiar on an IRL level. Knowing you’re both at least baseline attracted to each other, but unsure of what to do with it. Vastly different experiences, and zero “relationship experience” from both ends of the spectrum? Like Joe’s never had a real girlfriend has he?
Joe’s never had a girlfriend on screen, talked about one, nor has Danny or Dorothy (both of whom knew him before college) has mentioned. That is not to say he hasn’t had one. I can totally imagine a “prequel” plotlines where Young Joe had his heart broken and he vowed to never catch feelings again, and he and Danny swore to Never Mention Her Name Again, etc. But you are correct. This is Joes’s first real relationship on screen and from all the information we know, first ever.
The way Joyce acts about Joe make me question whether she actually likes him or is just horny. It would be ironic if he finally has real feelings for a girl and she is only interested in his body. I hope that’s not the case, I don’t want him to get hurt
Today’s strip is not an example of this, but it seems like she’s a lot more comfortable around him than her other friends. Like she doesn’t have to hide anything or compete for time. Her feelings probably aren’t the same as his, but she’s more than just horny.
I’ve also thought this tbh, and i hope there’s more going on than just lust, but we honestly haven’t seen that much from Joyce to suggest it. It is clear that she trusts him more than many people in her life right now, which is heartening… Seems like it definitely could become more.
You’re probably not going to like the things they had to say about each other, but they clearly had some kind of mutual attraction as soon as they met, and Joyce seemed to think of Joe as perfect dating material (at first). https://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/follow/
The line between physical and emotional attraction can be blurry/wavy/squiggly but I get the sense that Joyce actually is drawn to Joe as a person and not just a source of meat.
She has repeatedly expressed disappointment in Joe when he’s brushed off emotional attachment, most recently when describing him as “libido with a face.” If that were the case (barring Joyce’s many existing hang-ups), she would have been nearly so excited to find he has feelings.
I don’t get where people keep getting this idea that she’s not actually emotionally invested in Joe.
She actually is nailing it. Her goofy, corny, naive purity is what sets her apart, it’s why Joe thinks she’s special. That and her irrational fear of soup.
Joyce is trying to figure out how to become less sexually repressed, like Joe; Joe is trying to figure out how to become more romantically inclined, like Joyce. Is it just me or is this relationship heading for disaster?
I flirt like Joyce 😵💫
Just messaged my crush: “You have a nice face. I appreciate looking at it. I formally invite you to put your face on my face whenever you like.”
She blushed so hard she hid her face in her shirt and was adorable. My flirting technique is surprisingly effective. Apparently people find it charming.
Old Joe would have the constant look of worry, either, any time he tries to unleash his inner Danny. He is _so_ convinced he’s going to break Joyce.
Actually, thinking about it it’s sort of reveral of their relative positions in this storyline. Danny is fairly confident with Sal — he’s finally decided that if she likes him and he’s this big ol ukelele nerd then he’s going to go with it. Joe is the one who’s trying to figure things out.
Okay, this is nerdy, but although I know this comic is often (always?) based on real locations, this is the first time I’ve been able (pretty easily, actually) been able to pull up Google Street View and figure out EXACTLY where a comic was set and match the details. At first things seemed wrong, and then (duh!) I realized the comic (unlike the pictures) was set in winter, when there are no leaves on the trees and the planters are empty!
Joyce is so relatable for me. I also walked backwards into my first real relationship during my second semester of uni. In my case, we’ve been together now for 12 years. But I remember so well how it felt to be at this stage of things. Nostalgic.
I’d have thought Joyce’s failure to nail it here would only make her more endearing to Joe, but his facial expressions seem to say otherwise and it’s concerning.
Also, unrelatedly, I keep getting an ad on this page that covers the edges of the screen with leaves, obscuring most of the first and last panels of the comic. Dunno where to report that sort of thing.
honestly, I love this for Joe, he’s possibly never actually had butterflies and not knowing how to act with a girl before. This is his first proper crush that we know of, and it’s absolutely precious.
This is fascinating, because both of them are unsure what they’re wanting, don’t know what they’re doing, and struggling with a friend group who is unwilling to accept the way their personalities are changing.
So I was trying to explain to someone why I’m enjoying this SO much. Like. The standard trope here is silent pining and obliviousness, right, and this exact interaction happens but both people are like ‘oh god did I give myself away’ and/or ‘why aren’t they figuring it out’ etc etc and its basically the same spoken interaction but the Stupid part isn’t there because Joe achieved Basic Communication and Joyce has also scraped a pass.
And like, both of them are still doing the ‘oh god oh god’ internal monologue, which, excellent. AND ALSO Joe is definitely terrified right but everytime he says something totally normal that a person can nevertheless die inside over, Joyce comes barrelling out of the gate with something WAY OBJECTIVELY WEIRDER AND LESS NORMAL and I like that she gets to feel relatively comfortable because she’s informed on the present emotional stakes and landscape, and Joe gets to feel relatively comfortable because as terrible as his self-concept is, On Top Of normal crush anxiety, Joyce is Weirder. Everytime he says a thing, any awkwardness is immediately dwarfed and also Joyce does and says more of the things that he likes about her. What a killer position to be in. imagine.
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“GOOD THING I DIDN’T MENTION HIS BUTT OR ANYTHING”
…
“HIS TUSH IS HIS THING RIGHT”
10/10
Ah, no wonder she wore such a short jacket. Easier access to her tummy.
The fun part of this is, if you go back a page, there’s a oddly square-headed shadow next to joyce’s parents.
Eh, the jacket’s covering most of it anyway.
Oh, absolutely. Very smooth. Such flirt, much romance. Wow.
Joyce is nailing it.
At least she wants to nail it, HEEYO!
Suddenly I’m worrying how many times I thought I’m nailing a social situation, but was, in fact, very much not.
Often, the ratio is alarmingly high – most humans grossly overestimate their own abilities.
[Plays Smooth on bagpipes]
That last thought can be taken several different ways – one of them very different form the others.
I mean, can’t argue with results. He’s smitten with her, so she’s sorta doing this right.
Joyce still finding more ways to be adorable, confirmed.
She can do the impossible!
She accomplished that by just being Joyce.
She is nailing this, I think Joe’s feelings are going to blind him anyways.
Kinda envious, I remember feeling strong emotion/attachment but it’s been a decade lol
I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible. What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?
I don’t think it’s necessarily a tragic story.
Affection feels like this incredibly powerful force when you’re in your summer years, but once autumn comes around many people find that their tastes change. You don’t want the rollercoaster of emotion, you want something steady and comfortable. The tea and blanket of relationships, if you will.
Yeah there’s something really special about how something feels at the beginning, especially when you’re a wildly anxious wreck. When you’re in it you would probably prefer it was not that way, but every once in awhile now that everything is stable and happy I think back on it very very fondly.
I’ll
overshare.Ever meet someone who just makes you stop in your tracks, but you have absolutely no fucking idea what to do about it? That’s happened to me at least three times.
@Needfuldoer do you have ADHD? I’m just curious as I had similar issues during my teenage years where my early emotions/crushes would lock me out of even being able to approach people. I’d experience intense emotions so rapidly I couldn’t process it.
Apparently low emotional regulation can be tied to ADHD though it can also be several other factors.
Yes. When I was diagnosed (almost 20 years ago, holy smokes), it was “ADD” because I don’t have the hyperactivity. I think the current DSM would call it ADHD-PI? I’m also technically slightly Autistic; it used to be named after a controversial German scientist but that terminology’s since fallen out of favor.
For me it’s less “lockout”, more “oh crap what do I do what do I do” as I get extremely self-conscious, fear of coming across as a creep sets in, and all masking goes out the window. I have less than zero game.
It’s a bit like this early strip where Walky meets Dorothy, except I don’t throw toys at them. (Maybe that’s the secret?)
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/02-uphill-from-here/dexter/
“I’m going to stand REALLY STILL until you are my friend, this will definitely not work and I know it but I REALLY WANT IT TO WORK”
I’ve wondered about being tested in the more modern age but as a teenager I was tested as having ADHD along with an above average retention rate. Looking around I’ve realized alot of my more recent friends have generally been on the spectrum. I’m not sure if that would mean I do but I do like people who hyperfixate which is a symptom of both ADHD and autism because I find people with clear interests are easier to understand than nerotypical folks who give generic responses I don’t always follow.
I used to get self concious more around crowds or I’d overthink how I walk lol.
I think my lockout also occured from my religious upbringing which filled my head with alot of paranoia about how relationships are supposed to match up. I think some of that programming still interferes with me today.
Have you had many relationships? I’ve found the ones that I’ve had always stemmed from strong friendships over time which is where adulthood sucks since there isn’t a college commons to hang around and play Yugioh.
I’m also curious if you’ve heard of RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)? It isn’t an official diagnosis yet but there’s a correlation with ADHD and RSD at least to my understanding.
Most people are kinda getting it.
Experience makes you more cautious with your feelings and that doesn’t mean that attachment is beyond you but it does mean I don’t rapidly experience attachment/excitement the way I did as a teenager/young adult. Also alot of emotions lack the same kick when they’re not new.
I can relate to Joyce alot as I came from a very restrictive upbringing. Despite being a guy and my deconversion happening in my late 20’s rather than early on in College.
I struggled with a sense of identity without the religion and then I worked retention customer service during the pandemic which overloaded me with emotional labor. Doing waaaay better now but doing high intensity emotional support without much of my own just drained me which would be my terrible secret past.
*tries looking for an old jingle for blue jeans*
Heaven help her, Joe has got his blue jeans on
Forever in blue jeans, babe.
This strip resonates way too much with me for my comfort lol, 10/10 for effort Joyce. Replace the arms behind the head with one curled up on my chest in a non-existent waistcoat like an 1800’s portrait and I’m pretty sure I’ve done this.
Love when I tell myself to be normal, and then blurt out the weirdest shit. Definitely familiar with the last panel internal reaction.
That’s rude Joyce. Don’t call Joe a “This”.
Poor boy put his heart out there and she only see’s him as a “this”. That’s rough.
It really takes some of the fun out of the nailing.
Well i’m sure he’ll forgive some objectification ;P
Joe “Maytag” Rosenthal.
This feels…Very familiar on an IRL level. Knowing you’re both at least baseline attracted to each other, but unsure of what to do with it. Vastly different experiences, and zero “relationship experience” from both ends of the spectrum? Like Joe’s never had a real girlfriend has he?
Joe’s never had a girlfriend on screen, talked about one, nor has Danny or Dorothy (both of whom knew him before college) has mentioned. That is not to say he hasn’t had one. I can totally imagine a “prequel” plotlines where Young Joe had his heart broken and he vowed to never catch feelings again, and he and Danny swore to Never Mention Her Name Again, etc. But you are correct. This is Joes’s first real relationship on screen and from all the information we know, first ever.
I always pegged it as Joe’s living under the shadow of his father’s womanizing.
If he had any kind of serious relationship, it was probably hosed by either his dad banging his GF’s mom,
or the GF being skeezed out about his dad and thinking “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and breaking up with him and breaking his heart.
Creating the “no woman could ever really love me, I’ll be a man whore and never catch feelings again!” stance he had at the start of comic.
Now I know why Joyce is unsure where to put her hands.
Sat with my autistic face in my hand for five minutes trying to think of a comment besides ‘same’.
…Same.
The way Joyce acts about Joe make me question whether she actually likes him or is just horny. It would be ironic if he finally has real feelings for a girl and she is only interested in his body. I hope that’s not the case, I don’t want him to get hurt
They have built up a level of trust through prior interactions so maybe there’s more than lust going on
I hope there’s more going on
Today’s strip is not an example of this, but it seems like she’s a lot more comfortable around him than her other friends. Like she doesn’t have to hide anything or compete for time. Her feelings probably aren’t the same as his, but she’s more than just horny.
I’ve also thought this tbh, and i hope there’s more going on than just lust, but we honestly haven’t seen that much from Joyce to suggest it. It is clear that she trusts him more than many people in her life right now, which is heartening… Seems like it definitely could become more.
You’re probably not going to like the things they had to say about each other, but they clearly had some kind of mutual attraction as soon as they met, and Joyce seemed to think of Joe as perfect dating material (at first).
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/follow/
The line between physical and emotional attraction can be blurry/wavy/squiggly but I get the sense that Joyce actually is drawn to Joe as a person and not just a source of meat.
Indeed, Joe is being smarmy, but that’s not his usual approach.
Having rubbed one out might have helped.
She has repeatedly expressed disappointment in Joe when he’s brushed off emotional attachment, most recently when describing him as “libido with a face.” If that were the case (barring Joyce’s many existing hang-ups), she would have been nearly so excited to find he has feelings.
I don’t get where people keep getting this idea that she’s not actually emotionally invested in Joe.
*wouldn’t have been…
Narrator: “She was not, in fact, nailing this.”
So nailing it
Roz, appearing as if via eldritch summoning: “Actually, Joyce, that’s called pegging, and—”
I can’t read about characters complimenting each other’s butts without thinking of the greatest shot in the history of animation.
That was certainly a video.
I think this is what’s called a YouTube Poop. 😛
Hook, line, sinker, rod, and copy of ‘Angling Monthly’, Joyce.
Nailing it 100% Joyce!
His tush probably does look good in the outfit but it is not be addressed.
This is a nice, awkward, sweet interaction between two friends that are well suited to each other, it’s good to see
Hopefully Dorothy doesn’t turn up to ruin it
flawless
Boy, it’s nice to see somebody who is worse with the opposite sex than I am.
You’re doing great sweetie!
She actually is nailing it. Her goofy, corny, naive purity is what sets her apart, it’s why Joe thinks she’s special. That and her irrational fear of soup.
Yes, those are the excellent, social, casual remarks of someone who is not horny in the slightest.
She’s not nailing him yet.
yet…
knocking it out of the park
Grade A flirting, keep it up
Joyce is trying to figure out how to become less sexually repressed, like Joe; Joe is trying to figure out how to become more romantically inclined, like Joyce. Is it just me or is this relationship heading for disaster?
Or is it destined to become legendary? Sounds like a combination that could be very bad or awesome depending on how they manage it.
Yeah, it feels like its either “meet in the middle” or “miss each other, over-correct, crash and burn”. I’m hoping for the former.
I flirt like Joyce 😵💫
Just messaged my crush: “You have a nice face. I appreciate looking at it. I formally invite you to put your face on my face whenever you like.”
Good luck on seeing those feelings requited, Bogeywoman!
She blushed so hard she hid her face in her shirt and was adorable. My flirting technique is surprisingly effective. Apparently people find it charming.
“Invitation accepted. How does 5 mins of forehead touching sound?” 😉
It would absolutely work on me if I had been the recipient.
If Dorothy saw this, she might actually recognize that Joe’s changed.
Because Old Joe would not be nearly this bad at trying to get with a girl.
Old Joe would have the constant look of worry, either, any time he tries to unleash his inner Danny. He is _so_ convinced he’s going to break Joyce.
Actually, thinking about it it’s sort of reveral of their relative positions in this storyline. Danny is fairly confident with Sal — he’s finally decided that if she likes him and he’s this big ol ukelele nerd then he’s going to go with it. Joe is the one who’s trying to figure things out.
I love them and will die on this ship
“I will go down with this ship.”
“I will go down with this hill.”
Joyce’s getting more and more cute in this storyline.
Okay, this is nerdy, but although I know this comic is often (always?) based on real locations, this is the first time I’ve been able (pretty easily, actually) been able to pull up Google Street View and figure out EXACTLY where a comic was set and match the details. At first things seemed wrong, and then (duh!) I realized the comic (unlike the pictures) was set in winter, when there are no leaves on the trees and the planters are empty!
One of the things I like about this comic is the occasional feeling of “yeah, I’ve been there!”
You’re nailing this about as well as Jesus nailed the cross
Joyce is so relatable for me. I also walked backwards into my first real relationship during my second semester of uni. In my case, we’ve been together now for 12 years. But I remember so well how it felt to be at this stage of things. Nostalgic.
It must be horrible to be an extrovert.
Fuck yeah!
Like, how an extrovert can travel alone for 2 or 3 hours straight????
And how they get single for more than 1 month??
The lady doth protest too much.
Joyce
Ignore dorothy on this one, you’re allowed like him
Joe’s xhoice of a fairly short jacket, in Indiana, in January, is paying dividends.
Also respect for Joyce maturing from “tushie”.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/bootycall/
Or it’s just Joyce recalling from experience.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/twohours/
Good one! You were referring also to Yoto’s fan art linked in that one also?
Very smooth Joyce. Smooth as sandpaper.
Good job having only platonic thoughts there…
(Joe, that reactor is overheating, and you’re the only one who can save us all)
sounds like realistic dialogue to me TuT
Schrodinger’s Tush
I’d have thought Joyce’s failure to nail it here would only make her more endearing to Joe, but his facial expressions seem to say otherwise and it’s concerning.
Also, unrelatedly, I keep getting an ad on this page that covers the edges of the screen with leaves, obscuring most of the first and last panels of the comic. Dunno where to report that sort of thing.
I think they’re just mutually awkward at this point.
I think Joe can’t decide between “worst. flirting. ever.” and “she’s feeling awkward, what do I do???”
honestly, I love this for Joe, he’s possibly never actually had butterflies and not knowing how to act with a girl before. This is his first proper crush that we know of, and it’s absolutely precious.
This is fascinating, because both of them are unsure what they’re wanting, don’t know what they’re doing, and struggling with a friend group who is unwilling to accept the way their personalities are changing.
Haha. Nailing.
So I was trying to explain to someone why I’m enjoying this SO much. Like. The standard trope here is silent pining and obliviousness, right, and this exact interaction happens but both people are like ‘oh god did I give myself away’ and/or ‘why aren’t they figuring it out’ etc etc and its basically the same spoken interaction but the Stupid part isn’t there because Joe achieved Basic Communication and Joyce has also scraped a pass.
And like, both of them are still doing the ‘oh god oh god’ internal monologue, which, excellent. AND ALSO Joe is definitely terrified right but everytime he says something totally normal that a person can nevertheless die inside over, Joyce comes barrelling out of the gate with something WAY OBJECTIVELY WEIRDER AND LESS NORMAL and I like that she gets to feel relatively comfortable because she’s informed on the present emotional stakes and landscape, and Joe gets to feel relatively comfortable because as terrible as his self-concept is, On Top Of normal crush anxiety, Joyce is Weirder. Everytime he says a thing, any awkwardness is immediately dwarfed and also Joyce does and says more of the things that he likes about her. What a killer position to be in. imagine.