the butter zone for a good break up is essentially zero, you can only mitigate the fallout
…actually I’m p sure the worst way possible would be to literally eviscerate her femurs or something, so AS LONG AS YOU DON’T DO THAT AND CREATE A TIME PARADOX I’M SURE YOU’RE SET
cos this is the very worst possible way to break up, remember? Therefore it’s implied that Ruth sequesters Jennifer in a dank dungeon and does non-consensual stem cell research on her and grows disturbing organs in places they’re not supposed to be before she eviscerates her— obviously.
[tw for disturbing imagery, definitely not my fault though, i’m just the messenger]
beg your pardon??? I’m just stating the glaringly obvious implicit assumptions already entirely pre-packaged within Ana’s comment. are you… are you suggesting i actually produced this freakish scenario using, what, my own imagination? i’m offended. I don’t indulge in such grotesque and grisly fantasies. i’m a normal, clean, non-twisted person. and definitely not a serial killer of any sort.
that being said, i mean, it’s plainly being assumed by Ana, for this to make any sense at all, that Ruth commands huge experience with advanced teratogenic tissue growth induction techniques, i mean, you don’t just successfully grow intestinal lining (not to even mention *scoff* the epithelium itself) out of bone marrow on your first try. That simply goes without saying.
In fact, it’s basically indisputable that Ruth must have experimented using axolotl tissue grafts before (they’re the obvious choice here). It’s a given that, were you to enter that underground laboratory of Ruth’s, you would find an impressive range of surgical implements and highly restricted pharmaceutical supplies, as well as, against a dimly lit wall (of course one of the deathly pale neon tubes is constantly flickering, there’s always one) a ghastly array of distinctly and disturbingly human-adjacent silhouettes in huge liquid-filled transparent containers (they have to be transparent for Ruth to be able to check out the blood-curdling results of her previous attempts while performing a new procedure, like, duh).
Finally your eyes would land on the operating table in the centre of the room, and, look, who wouldn’t wouldn’t pass out from the sheer horror of it all at that point, right? But not before noticing the dark stains on the concrete floor, cos washing away gallons and gallons of blood, day in day out? That’s got to be a bongo, like, for sure. No question.
Like i said, nothing that’s not right there in Ana’s own comment, just not in so many words, i guess.
I think she’s less wanting a ‘good break up’ and more ‘wanting to make sure Jennifer doesn’t kill herself, either intentionally or accidentally via alcohol poisoning’.
“Carla did some sort of experiment that accidentally brought Blowjob Cat to life! He’s rampaging through the city! I don’t know how long Amazi-Girl can hold him off, we gotta go!”
Assuming that it will be always like that might be where Ruth’s pessimism comes in, though, too…? I don’t know. This is back in Halloween, so the binge drinking as well as the depressive episode was pretty recent. But I think that it’d be better to have a discussion with Billie/Jennifer first before dropping “I need to break up with you for your own good.” Even if Ruth is ultimately right about that, saying that all of a sudden would seem kind of shitty.
I don’t know. There’s a real-life situation where someone I know is trying to decide whether to break up with a partner, and I don’t feel that I can judge either way. I told her to do what feels best and I’d support either outcome.
Fictional characters, on the other hand… (okay, technically I’m not judging Ruth for initiating a breakup, just for how she might potentially go about it).
“So I’m going to deny myself happiness and ruin things between us before anything or anyone else can ruin it for us!”
I wish I could say this wasn’t consistent of her. 🙁
(Last time, she wound up in a dark room with a bag of cookies next to her. This time, she’ll end up in a well-lit room with Jason handcuffed next to her.)
Seriously though! She’s literally doing exactly what she doesn’t want to happen. Maybe it is good they broke up. Relationships don’t work if one of the partners has no confidence in it or themselves. It wasn’t for the best but they both deserve better than Ruth second guessing them every day.
That’s a legitimate issue but Ruth’s not actually trying to address that. She’s single-handedly choosing to end the relationship because she’s scared and doesn’t trust herself or Jennifer. As far as we know she hasn’t even talked to Jennifer about her insecurities with their mental health. She just assumes it will eventually go bad and wants to cut ties. This isn’t saving Jennifer from anything. Proper, medical, professional care, and therapy will save them both, and maybe it would eventually end with them splitting up, but this isn’t the way. Or well it is a way, cause they did break up, but it was a cowardly way because we know in the future there is plenty of toxic resentment on both sides.
“As far as we know she hasn’t even talked to Jennifer about her insecurities with their mental health.”
Jennifer is adept at “solving” her problems by not addressing them. They have to nearly bite her faaaace off before she actually does anything about them.
I’m really not sure how to take this because Jennifer is presented to be the unreliable, she was even sneaking booze their first attempt at going sober but post time skip Ruth has been the one to turn back to alcohol. It feels hypocritical now. Ruth asking Jen to quit drinking only to go back to drinking herself when she gets her meds adjusted and turns 21.
I don’t like saying it but it kind of feels like this whole breakup is so Ruth doesn’t have to feel guilty for being self destructive. Like she wants to stop working on herself and just Jennifer being around her would hold her too accountable.
As opposed to Ruth who proactively sought out solutions to her problems – by going so non-responsive Carla panicked and she got dragged to the hospital.
Jennifer certainly has her issues, but it’s not at all clear she’s the worst of the pair.
I’m not prepared to declare/render judgment who’s the worse of the two. Just saying, as above, that she’s done this before. (And as you note, it didn’t work out well.)
Ruth should watch Midsommar, where the main boyfriend character put off breaking off with his girlfriend because he was trying to to be sensitive after her parents and sister died gruesomely in a murder-suicide.
The problem wasn’t so much that he delayed breaking up with her because her family died, it’s that he’d been waffling on ending the relationship for a year prior to that (especially since she could feel him pulling away and it was adding to her ongoing stress and insecurities). If he’d broken up with her when he first realized he wanted out, she would have had time to get over the end of that relationship BEFORE the devastating crisis hit.
(Man, Midsommar is a masterpiece. It is so disturbing but also so compulsively watchable. That’s the power of really good filmmaking, I guess!)
At least Chief Inspector Barnaby got too go home to his wife at the end of the episode. That was a success. That’s Midsommer for you. Should be renamed “Barnaby, Last Man Standing.”
i mean, he also didn’t have to #SPOILER# with #SPOILER# surrounded by naked #SPOILER#.
Sure, she put her pubic #SPOILER# in his #SPOILER#, but that didn’t actually #SPOILER#, he made that decision himself.
Also, omg Midsommar is SO GOOD. Everyone should watch Midsommar. Well, everyone with a stomach for horror, it’s not really scary per se but gruesomenesses occur.
oh, i’m so sorry about that. Specific trigger warnings would get spoiler-y, (though as you gathered from this thread one of its themes is toxic relationships)
but yes, please be conscious that this is a horror movie, and not one of the silly ones. It truly is a disturbing story. i think it is a masterpiece (and horror is my comfort genre for some reason, that and, uh, queer romcoms???), but you’re right, saying “everyone should” watch it was irresponsible. take care of yourselves out there <3
I 100% know this feeling and it super sucks. the, I’m not allowed to be happy/supposed to be happy because I’ll ruin it sort of thing. It’s a terrible thing to go through. it still hits me every so often but not like it used to, thank goodness, but man. Ruth ☹
In a toxic relationship especially, the ‘things feel good right now’ is usually what paralyses people from ending it even when they see the need to or just desire to (because the highs are really good when contrasted with the lows).
There is never really a perfect time to suggest breaking up but when you aren’t feeling suicidal and they aren’t feeling suicidal, is generally preferable to when you are or never.
Mhm, I’ve been there 1000%. Not that the relationship was toxic, but I was unhappy in it and convincing myself that we were good together when things were going well. If anything **I** was the toxic one by all my passive aggression in it. A tough lesson to swallow from reflection that you were so far in the wrong.
If anyone in their early 20s reads this comment. Please reflect on these words “You can break up with anyone for any reason. And it is a million times better to break up and deal with the temporary sadness than to stay together and force the fake happiness”
Like, yeah. Doesn’t need to be toxic but it being toxic adds its own extra layers of difficulty in how they may react extra poorly. Putting off a break up always ends worse than doing it as soon as you feel the need to.
Especially because some people kick a relationship breaking arguments down the line for years then act surprised when it still comes up. And they look like an ass too for putting it off, even if their partner acted unreasonably, which is why they put it off. You cannot out wait a bad reaction from happening and trying to just guarantees the fallout will be 100 times worse when whatever conversation or topic you were avoiding still manages to come up.
That’s certainly true. No one should be forced or pressured to stay in a relationship when they want to leave.
That said, there can still be bad reasons to break up. Some of which might be good reasons for the other person to break up with you, but others might be simple misunderstandings or bullshit social conventions or other nonsense.
If I’m reading Ruth’s motivations here correctly, I not convinced this is a good reason. She is of course within her rights to do so.
I mean obviously dumping Billie was never ever going to go well, but yeah, that’s a tough stance.
If you’re dumping somebody, make it about your own feelings and needs, not your partner’s. (That’s one part of why Jennifer thought Ruth was condescending and dishonest.) Billie is delighted with being a toxic drama hurricane couple where they both want to die sometimes — she likes it this way, plus she thinks there isn’t a non-hurricane alternative for her.
Ruth is not okay with that setup anymore. Make it about your own needs, Ruth, you imaginary character!
i missed the part where she says she wants to dump Billie for Billie’s own good?
“i might lose her in the worst way possible” reads to me like something she, personally, doesn’t want to happen.
maybe she doesn’t explicitly centre her own needs but the way i read it it’s not obvious she’s doing this out of misplaced, condescending altruism either?
It’s based on her characterization as much as anything she explicitly says, so it’s certainly open to interpretation, but Ruth has always been the more openly suicidal of the two and with her early comment about being okay with her (or both of them) dying, I read it as about her fears of returning to that and dragging Jennifer down with her.
Yeah, it’s open to interpretation for sure. But also, whichever way you cut it… this is a fine reason to break up in my book. I call it “The Book of Breakups.” it’s um… it’s an unpublished manuscript.
To paraphrase Taylor Tomlinson, “being [suicidal] is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might make it hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties [meds]. And if you take your arm floaties, you can go anywhere you want.
But Taylor, I hear you say, what if people make fun of me for wearing arm floaties? Well, those people don’t care if you live or die. So maybe who cares? Maybe fuck them? A little?
…That being said, you do have to wear your arm floaties. Cos if you know you can’t swim and you jump into the deep end of the pool, you make it everyone else’s problem. And then you start thrashing around, going “I’m good! I’m good!” and they’re like, “you’re literally drowning”.
Then this handsome guy jumps in to help you and you go “see, i’m fine! i can swim!” and they’re like “no, you’re holding him underwater. You turned Kevin into an arm floaty, and that’s not a fair relationship for Kevin.”
And then someone floats by you on their back, and you’re like “what was that?” and they’re like “oh that’s someone whose parents supported them in the pool until they could be trusted not to die. …Here are your arm floaties.”
…Then again in this situation, Kevin Billie is not really into arm-floaties herself.
(also Taylor Tomlinson is the best?? i think it’s been a couple days since i mentioned that)
I mean… apparently the first time she told her folks she was suicide (according to her joke set up) was her dad took a knife and waved it in the air telling her to do it and when she brought it up later he laughed and said he called her bluff. So there’s a pretty dark history too with that about people not believing you need pool floaties…
oh really that’s not in the special, or maybe i don’t remember that bit. yeah, she talks about some dark stuff, and makes it hilarious without diminishing the seriousness of it. she’s a bit of a genius.
If Ruth hurts Billie, she will have to live with that forever. This isn’t just “I’m not good enough” anxiety, she actually thinks she is a danger to Billie and that thought is obviously eating at her. A breakup may be what Ruth needs right now.
Which is essentially the same thing as Jennifer’s “Ruth is getting better and I’m a poisonous hurricane. I can hurt her now, so I need to get her to leave me, so I don’t ruin her.”
Aw, Ruth. I think she’s doing a thing where she’s polarizing from her past self and seeing her suicidality (and willingness to make a “suicide pact”) is this evil villain, instead of having compassion for herself and understanding that is a thing many people go through that’s actually a “normal” part of life for many. Rejecting our own darkness/difficult parts creates its own problems.
I don’t think she’s villainizing her past self. I think she just realizes that a romantic relationship built on a suicide pact is fundamentally, HILARIOUSLY fucked up and does not bode well at all.
Ruth and Billie were a terrible couple. Good partners don’t fight and abuse each other the way they did. We need to stop romanticizing this shit.
Wow, Ruth has picked the one set of reasons to break up with Billie that make absolutely no sense whatsoever versus all the incredibly good ones that their relationship is terrible for both of them.
how is this a bad reason? i don’t want to abet a suicide. if i feel that i’m at risk of doing so in the context of a relationship, i hope i would have the courage to break it off.
I think it’s a terrible reason because it basically states that she’s a toxic person and the other party doesn’t get a say in the subject. Also, I want to do it when we’re NOT suicidal (which the breakup could change).
wait what. how does breaking up with someone amount to a statement that that person is toxic, i don’t follow. anyway people aren’t toxic, relationships are.
Not to sound cynical, but since when do both parties get a say in a break-up? If somebody says “I’m breaking up with you, we’re no longer dating,” you can’t just say “No you’re not and yes we are.” and expect it to work.
It probably doesn’t make sense because when we’re outside of Ruth’s head we don’t actually believe that Ruth would kill Billie or help her commit suicide. But to Ruth that feels like a real possibility.
True Life Story: Over a decade ago, I was in a relationship where we were both very mentally ill (depression for me, rage-y bipolar for him). I realized, for a good reason that doesn’t have to do with the comic, that I could not ride that ride. It was a what-about-tomorrow type of reason, and it was very real.
I’ve always been proud that I got him to safety, living in his parents’ home, before I broke off our engagement. I don’t regret asking him to marry me, nor do I regret getting un-engaged. We loved each other. But, love is not enough.
All this to say, Ruth’s reasoning actually makes some sense, friends. (It won’t go over well with Billie, of course — not that anything would, but still, nobody likes the claim that you’re hurting them for their own good.) But hey, balancing love and everyone’s safety is a thing, and it’s a big deal.
Love is great, it’s necessary. But love is not enough.
For three years I dated a widow who had taken her husband’s death really hard. Eventually she broke up with me because she was worried about becoming so close to me that she’d be traumatized again if I were to die.
Ruth, similarly, is afraid of continuing a good thing because it might turn into a bad thing.
So Ruth wants to break up with Jennifer because things are going pretty good right now and they might go bad in the future? Am I understanding this right? Because that doesn’t sound like a good reason to break up with someone to me.
Specifically, Ruth wants to break up with Jennifer because she has been willing to assist her in committing suicide in the past, and doesn’t want to find herself back in that place. As you may be aware, depression and alcoholism tend to be chronic conditions, so it’s not unreasonable to fear a relapse.
so basically, what you said with being sarcastic =)
ANY reason is a good reason to break up with somebody, because all reasons ultimately boil down to “I no longer wish to continue this relationship”, and that’s the only reason anybody needs. THAT IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON.
I agree with all of this in principle but there is something about breaking up with someone because you don’t think you’re good enough for them and want to “save them” from you that rubs me the wrong way. It’s very “I know better than you do what’s right for you.”
If she were approaching this from the perspective of “I don’t think this relationship is healthy for ME and could hinder my recovery” that would be different, but her entire framing seems to indicate she loves Billie, wants to be with Billie, but Ruth thinks she herself is a destructive force and she must remove herself to protect Billie before she drags her down. She’s not treating Billie as an equal partner with agency and the ability to decide what is right for herself.
I mean one could argue that’s a good reason for them not to be together: Ruth is simultaneously putting Billie up on a pedestal, acting like Billie cannot make decisions for herself about her role in their relationship, or whether it’s healthy for her.
So yeah their dynamic/relationship is still obviously not healthy, even though Ruth is much happier. But the specific way Ruth is analyzing it is ALSO unhealthy, as if she were solely responsible for any past or future potential harm to Billie and herself, rather than them BOTH having issues they would need to work on together if they wanted to stay together, or work on individually to stay/become healthier even if they aren’t together.
Which is probably both: why Billie is so mad at Ruth (Ruth made a choice about what was best for Billie FOR Billie), and why Ruth post-flashback hasn’t been doing so well (seems depressed and cranky again, drinking again).
Tl;dr it seems like Ruth actually DOES *want* to continue the relationship, from a purely ”what makes her happy” perspective, but breaks up with Billie because she thinks Billie would be better off without her and is pulling some kind of misguided “if you love her, let her go” thing.
Sorry for another comment, just thinking out loud here:
I guess it’s unclear to me how much of this is supposed to be Ruth actually looking at the situation rationally and thinking she needs to focus on her own mental health alone for BOTH their sakes, or if it’s Ruth putting Billie up on a pedestal/assuming she isn’t good enough for Billie because of their last and because she thinks she will inevitably backslide and drag Billie down with her.
If it IS at least in part her just not trusting that she’s stable enough to handle a healthy relationship right now, that sounds a bit more rational. After writing my above comments, I just saw another comment from yesterday that phrased it as her not trusting herself and that might change my view on it if that’s what’s going on. Just for some reason I read it in this very martyrdom “I can never be good enough for her, I must leave her for her own good!” say that bugged me.
Loading ...
the butter zone for a good break up is essentially zero, you can only mitigate the fallout
…actually I’m p sure the worst way possible would be to literally eviscerate her femurs or something, so AS LONG AS YOU DON’T DO THAT AND CREATE A TIME PARADOX I’M SURE YOU’RE SET
Have we gotten a good look at Jennifer’s legs since the time skip? Could be high quality prosthetics.
A good look at Jennifer’s legs?
Are you confusing this with a different comic?
A comic found in the Butter Zone…
Dina has the teeth covered.
Stare long enough into the abyss, the abyss stares back.
dumbing of Vale
Wh… Why would Jennifer/Billie have viscera in her femurs?
cos this is the very worst possible way to break up, remember? Therefore it’s implied that Ruth sequesters Jennifer in a dank dungeon and does non-consensual stem cell research on her and grows disturbing organs in places they’re not supposed to be before she eviscerates her— obviously.
So… now that you’ve openned this door, are you going to guide us down the hallway?
[tw for disturbing imagery, definitely not my fault though, i’m just the messenger]
beg your pardon??? I’m just stating the glaringly obvious implicit assumptions already entirely pre-packaged within Ana’s comment. are you… are you suggesting i actually produced this freakish scenario using, what, my own imagination? i’m offended. I don’t indulge in such grotesque and grisly fantasies. i’m a normal, clean, non-twisted person. and definitely not a serial killer of any sort.
that being said, i mean, it’s plainly being assumed by Ana, for this to make any sense at all, that Ruth commands huge experience with advanced teratogenic tissue growth induction techniques, i mean, you don’t just successfully grow intestinal lining (not to even mention *scoff* the epithelium itself) out of bone marrow on your first try. That simply goes without saying.
In fact, it’s basically indisputable that Ruth must have experimented using axolotl tissue grafts before (they’re the obvious choice here). It’s a given that, were you to enter that underground laboratory of Ruth’s, you would find an impressive range of surgical implements and highly restricted pharmaceutical supplies, as well as, against a dimly lit wall (of course one of the deathly pale neon tubes is constantly flickering, there’s always one) a ghastly array of distinctly and disturbingly human-adjacent silhouettes in huge liquid-filled transparent containers (they have to be transparent for Ruth to be able to check out the blood-curdling results of her previous attempts while performing a new procedure, like, duh).
Finally your eyes would land on the operating table in the centre of the room, and, look, who wouldn’t wouldn’t pass out from the sheer horror of it all at that point, right? But not before noticing the dark stains on the concrete floor, cos washing away gallons and gallons of blood, day in day out? That’s got to be a bongo, like, for sure. No question.
Like i said, nothing that’s not right there in Ana’s own comment, just not in so many words, i guess.
Brilliant. 5 stars
I think she’s less wanting a ‘good break up’ and more ‘wanting to make sure Jennifer doesn’t kill herself, either intentionally or accidentally via alcohol poisoning’.
Suddenly Sierra bursts in.
“Carla did some sort of experiment that accidentally brought Blowjob Cat to life! He’s rampaging through the city! I don’t know how long Amazi-Girl can hold him off, we gotta go!”
Artisticat was brought to life, you say? That really…sucks.
BWAHAHAHA!
Don’t know if you were the first to that shore, but congrats.🎉
Pygmalion with an unlikely speech impediment: Aftisticat was bfought to life? i know all about sculptufes being bfought to life. I can fellate.
This made me laugh way more than it should have.
Great, now all I can think of is B.J.C. as a Godzilla-like kaiju rampaging across the campus.
The sky cracks with a mighty hiss, and a laser beam of encouraging words destroys the staircase Mike fell off of.
BJC animates to defend the town after the Soggy invasion begins.
Ruth: “I am not allowed to have nice things”
The Universe: “I agree”
Ninjas? What Ninjas? Nobody told me there’d be NINJAS! 😍
*plays “Yokubou o Sakebe!!!” from Naruto Shippuden on hacked muzak*
“Never assume a man does not have ninjas at his disposal.”
There are always ninjas. If you’ve never seen them, well, duh, what part of “ninja” didn’t you understand?
I think Ruth needs to take a breath on this. This is supremely pessimistic.
Not surprisingly pessimistic though.
She’s not wrong, though.
Their good days together are fine when they can rise above the noise floor of their normal days, but their bad days are baaad.
Assuming that it will be always like that might be where Ruth’s pessimism comes in, though, too…? I don’t know. This is back in Halloween, so the binge drinking as well as the depressive episode was pretty recent. But I think that it’d be better to have a discussion with Billie/Jennifer first before dropping “I need to break up with you for your own good.” Even if Ruth is ultimately right about that, saying that all of a sudden would seem kind of shitty.
I don’t know. There’s a real-life situation where someone I know is trying to decide whether to break up with a partner, and I don’t feel that I can judge either way. I told her to do what feels best and I’d support either outcome.
Fictional characters, on the other hand… (okay, technically I’m not judging Ruth for initiating a breakup, just for how she might potentially go about it).
Ruth is breaking the 4th wall looking so hard.
There it is
Oh look, so is Dorothy.
At Hellacious Acres–listen mischief makers!
Admission’s FREE! YOU PAY TO GET OUT!
No foreshadow there. Nope, none at all.
I wonder if this has to do with that Spooky hallway!
very foresunny. no forecloud of any sort, not a foretree or even a forestraw hat in sight.
“So I’m going to deny myself happiness and ruin things between us before anything or anyone else can ruin it for us!”
I wish I could say this wasn’t consistent of her. 🙁
(Last time, she wound up in a dark room with a bag of cookies next to her. This time, she’ll end up in a well-lit room with Jason handcuffed next to her.)
Seriously though! She’s literally doing exactly what she doesn’t want to happen. Maybe it is good they broke up. Relationships don’t work if one of the partners has no confidence in it or themselves. It wasn’t for the best but they both deserve better than Ruth second guessing them every day.
What she doesn’t want to happen is both of them LITERALLY DYING. Pretty sure that is not what she’s doing right now.
That’s a legitimate issue but Ruth’s not actually trying to address that. She’s single-handedly choosing to end the relationship because she’s scared and doesn’t trust herself or Jennifer. As far as we know she hasn’t even talked to Jennifer about her insecurities with their mental health. She just assumes it will eventually go bad and wants to cut ties. This isn’t saving Jennifer from anything. Proper, medical, professional care, and therapy will save them both, and maybe it would eventually end with them splitting up, but this isn’t the way. Or well it is a way, cause they did break up, but it was a cowardly way because we know in the future there is plenty of toxic resentment on both sides.
“As far as we know she hasn’t even talked to Jennifer about her insecurities with their mental health.”
Jennifer is adept at “solving” her problems by not addressing them. They have to nearly bite her faaaace off before she actually does anything about them.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/02-but-the-sun-still-shines/nonpromise/
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/accomplished/
I read this as Ruth wanting to break it off for her own sake, but telling herself it’s best for both of them to justify that decision.
I’m really not sure how to take this because Jennifer is presented to be the unreliable, she was even sneaking booze their first attempt at going sober but post time skip Ruth has been the one to turn back to alcohol. It feels hypocritical now. Ruth asking Jen to quit drinking only to go back to drinking herself when she gets her meds adjusted and turns 21.
I don’t like saying it but it kind of feels like this whole breakup is so Ruth doesn’t have to feel guilty for being self destructive. Like she wants to stop working on herself and just Jennifer being around her would hold her too accountable.
A thing Jennifer had feared throughout their time together – that Ruth would push her away so she could go die without hurting Jennifer.
As opposed to Ruth who proactively sought out solutions to her problems – by going so non-responsive Carla panicked and she got dragged to the hospital.
Jennifer certainly has her issues, but it’s not at all clear she’s the worst of the pair.
I’m not prepared to declare/render judgment who’s the worse of the two. Just saying, as above, that she’s done this before. (And as you note, it didn’t work out well.)
The really profound question there is: of those 2 “hitting bottom” scenarios, which is worse?
(alt-text) So if Ninja Rick burst out of the closet, would that qualify as a Rick Roll?
I suspect the alt text references a problem experienced by Weird Al in the movie UHF.
I just got a Bonus Gift from the Future! 😄
Thank you Willis!!!!
Ruth should watch Midsommar, where the main boyfriend character put off breaking off with his girlfriend because he was trying to to be sensitive after her parents and sister died gruesomely in a murder-suicide.
SPOILER: putting it off didn’t end well either
Boyfriend in midosummar wasnt sensitive so much as cowardly and manipulative but your point stands.
The problem wasn’t so much that he delayed breaking up with her because her family died, it’s that he’d been waffling on ending the relationship for a year prior to that (especially since she could feel him pulling away and it was adding to her ongoing stress and insecurities). If he’d broken up with her when he first realized he wanted out, she would have had time to get over the end of that relationship BEFORE the devastating crisis hit.
(Man, Midsommar is a masterpiece. It is so disturbing but also so compulsively watchable. That’s the power of really good filmmaking, I guess!)
At least Chief Inspector Barnaby got too go home to his wife at the end of the episode. That was a success. That’s Midsommer for you. Should be renamed “Barnaby, Last Man Standing.”
I think you might be confusing the British TV show Midsummer Murders with the horror movie Midsomar
i mean, he also didn’t have to #SPOILER# with #SPOILER# surrounded by naked #SPOILER#.
Sure, she put her pubic #SPOILER# in his #SPOILER#, but that didn’t actually #SPOILER#, he made that decision himself.
Also, omg Midsommar is SO GOOD. Everyone should watch Midsommar. Well, everyone with a stomach for horror, it’s not really scary per se but gruesomenesses occur.
I honestly wish I hadn’t watched Midsommar
oh, i’m so sorry about that. Specific trigger warnings would get spoiler-y, (though as you gathered from this thread one of its themes is toxic relationships)
but yes, please be conscious that this is a horror movie, and not one of the silly ones. It truly is a disturbing story. i think it is a masterpiece (and horror is my comfort genre for some reason, that and, uh, queer romcoms???), but you’re right, saying “everyone should” watch it was irresponsible. take care of yourselves out there <3
The fun thing about “Damn you, Willis” is that it goes both ways: Damn if he does; Damn if he doesn’t.
I know Ruth is doing a “sell high” approach, but what’s Dotty sussing out?
I 100% know this feeling and it super sucks. the, I’m not allowed to be happy/supposed to be happy because I’ll ruin it sort of thing. It’s a terrible thing to go through. it still hits me every so often but not like it used to, thank goodness, but man. Ruth ☹
It looks like Dorothy knows what the surprise way is
Ruth is just about to take Billie aside and break up with her when SURPRISE!
hahah; nah, no way.
such an unlikely outcome.
Damn. Just damn.
All this “trigger” talk is getting me a little nervous, even if I already know Ruth isn’t gonna shoot Billie.
You know Ruth isn’t going to fatally shoot Billie. A lot of things can happen.
Wait, does Galasso have a vendetta against Billie?
Look, it HAS been an extremely long month.
“For instance, she could relapse and drive away drunk into the path of an oncoming semi”
Valid.
In a toxic relationship especially, the ‘things feel good right now’ is usually what paralyses people from ending it even when they see the need to or just desire to (because the highs are really good when contrasted with the lows).
There is never really a perfect time to suggest breaking up but when you aren’t feeling suicidal and they aren’t feeling suicidal, is generally preferable to when you are or never.
Mhm, I’ve been there 1000%. Not that the relationship was toxic, but I was unhappy in it and convincing myself that we were good together when things were going well. If anything **I** was the toxic one by all my passive aggression in it. A tough lesson to swallow from reflection that you were so far in the wrong.
If anyone in their early 20s reads this comment. Please reflect on these words “You can break up with anyone for any reason. And it is a million times better to break up and deal with the temporary sadness than to stay together and force the fake happiness”
Like, yeah. Doesn’t need to be toxic but it being toxic adds its own extra layers of difficulty in how they may react extra poorly. Putting off a break up always ends worse than doing it as soon as you feel the need to.
Especially because some people kick a relationship breaking arguments down the line for years then act surprised when it still comes up. And they look like an ass too for putting it off, even if their partner acted unreasonably, which is why they put it off. You cannot out wait a bad reaction from happening and trying to just guarantees the fallout will be 100 times worse when whatever conversation or topic you were avoiding still manages to come up.
The only reason you need to break up with somebody is “I no longer wish to be in this relationship, therefore, we should break up”.
That’s certainly true. No one should be forced or pressured to stay in a relationship when they want to leave.
That said, there can still be bad reasons to break up. Some of which might be good reasons for the other person to break up with you, but others might be simple misunderstandings or bullshit social conventions or other nonsense.
If I’m reading Ruth’s motivations here correctly, I not convinced this is a good reason. She is of course within her rights to do so.
I mean obviously dumping Billie was never ever going to go well, but yeah, that’s a tough stance.
If you’re dumping somebody, make it about your own feelings and needs, not your partner’s. (That’s one part of why Jennifer thought Ruth was condescending and dishonest.) Billie is delighted with being a toxic drama hurricane couple where they both want to die sometimes — she likes it this way, plus she thinks there isn’t a non-hurricane alternative for her.
Ruth is not okay with that setup anymore. Make it about your own needs, Ruth, you imaginary character!
i missed the part where she says she wants to dump Billie for Billie’s own good?
“i might lose her in the worst way possible” reads to me like something she, personally, doesn’t want to happen.
maybe she doesn’t explicitly centre her own needs but the way i read it it’s not obvious she’s doing this out of misplaced, condescending altruism either?
It’s based on her characterization as much as anything she explicitly says, so it’s certainly open to interpretation, but Ruth has always been the more openly suicidal of the two and with her early comment about being okay with her (or both of them) dying, I read it as about her fears of returning to that and dragging Jennifer down with her.
Yeah, it’s open to interpretation for sure. But also, whichever way you cut it… this is a fine reason to break up in my book. I call it “The Book of Breakups.” it’s um… it’s an unpublished manuscript.
To paraphrase Taylor Tomlinson, “being [suicidal] is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might make it hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties [meds]. And if you take your arm floaties, you can go anywhere you want.
But Taylor, I hear you say, what if people make fun of me for wearing arm floaties? Well, those people don’t care if you live or die. So maybe who cares? Maybe fuck them? A little?
…That being said, you do have to wear your arm floaties. Cos if you know you can’t swim and you jump into the deep end of the pool, you make it everyone else’s problem. And then you start thrashing around, going “I’m good! I’m good!” and they’re like, “you’re literally drowning”.
Then this handsome guy jumps in to help you and you go “see, i’m fine! i can swim!” and they’re like “no, you’re holding him underwater. You turned Kevin into an arm floaty, and that’s not a fair relationship for Kevin.”
And then someone floats by you on their back, and you’re like “what was that?” and they’re like “oh that’s someone whose parents supported them in the pool until they could be trusted not to die. …Here are your arm floaties.”
…Then again in this situation,
KevinBillie is not really into arm-floaties herself.(also Taylor Tomlinson is the best?? i think it’s been a couple days since i mentioned that)
I mean… apparently the first time she told her folks she was suicide (according to her joke set up) was her dad took a knife and waved it in the air telling her to do it and when she brought it up later he laughed and said he called her bluff. So there’s a pretty dark history too with that about people not believing you need pool floaties…
oh really that’s not in the special, or maybe i don’t remember that bit. yeah, she talks about some dark stuff, and makes it hilarious without diminishing the seriousness of it. she’s a bit of a genius.
oh wait are you talking about Ruth now, i’m confused
Nah, it’s Taylor’s Quarter Life Crisis special
If Ruth hurts Billie, she will have to live with that forever. This isn’t just “I’m not good enough” anxiety, she actually thinks she is a danger to Billie and that thought is obviously eating at her. A breakup may be what Ruth needs right now.
Which is essentially the same thing as Jennifer’s “Ruth is getting better and I’m a poisonous hurricane. I can hurt her now, so I need to get her to leave me, so I don’t ruin her.”
Aw, Ruth. I think she’s doing a thing where she’s polarizing from her past self and seeing her suicidality (and willingness to make a “suicide pact”) is this evil villain, instead of having compassion for herself and understanding that is a thing many people go through that’s actually a “normal” part of life for many. Rejecting our own darkness/difficult parts creates its own problems.
I don’t think she’s villainizing her past self. I think she just realizes that a romantic relationship built on a suicide pact is fundamentally, HILARIOUSLY fucked up and does not bode well at all.
Ruth and Billie were a terrible couple. Good partners don’t fight and abuse each other the way they did. We need to stop romanticizing this shit.
>Rejecting our own darkness/difficult parts creates its own problems.
You’ve more or less described Riku’s entire character arc in the Kingdom Hearts games.
Wow, Ruth has picked the one set of reasons to break up with Billie that make absolutely no sense whatsoever versus all the incredibly good ones that their relationship is terrible for both of them.
Yup. Dorothy’s face is “uh, ruth?”.
how is this a bad reason? i don’t want to abet a suicide. if i feel that i’m at risk of doing so in the context of a relationship, i hope i would have the courage to break it off.
I think it’s a terrible reason because it basically states that she’s a toxic person and the other party doesn’t get a say in the subject. Also, I want to do it when we’re NOT suicidal (which the breakup could change).
wait what. how does breaking up with someone amount to a statement that that person is toxic, i don’t follow. anyway people aren’t toxic, relationships are.
I think he meant Ruth saying Ruth is a toxic person, not safe for Jennifer to be with.
Ah that makes more sense, thanks thejeff, sorry C.T.
Not to sound cynical, but since when do both parties get a say in a break-up? If somebody says “I’m breaking up with you, we’re no longer dating,” you can’t just say “No you’re not and yes we are.” and expect it to work.
Obviously not, but if you’re breaking up with them for their sake, maybe you should talk about it first?
It probably doesn’t make sense because when we’re outside of Ruth’s head we don’t actually believe that Ruth would kill Billie or help her commit suicide. But to Ruth that feels like a real possibility.
It really has been quite the month.
So, Ruth, sounds like what you need to do here is…
…act with integrity. No regrets.
Don’t say that. Last time she did, she got hit by a truck.
I mean, in another life. I mean, in another timeline.
This time she will hit a Jason. Choose your poison.
Got to say a Jason is better than a truck. Though possibly, more annoying
True Life Story: Over a decade ago, I was in a relationship where we were both very mentally ill (depression for me, rage-y bipolar for him). I realized, for a good reason that doesn’t have to do with the comic, that I could not ride that ride. It was a what-about-tomorrow type of reason, and it was very real.
I’ve always been proud that I got him to safety, living in his parents’ home, before I broke off our engagement. I don’t regret asking him to marry me, nor do I regret getting un-engaged. We loved each other. But, love is not enough.
All this to say, Ruth’s reasoning actually makes some sense, friends. (It won’t go over well with Billie, of course — not that anything would, but still, nobody likes the claim that you’re hurting them for their own good.) But hey, balancing love and everyone’s safety is a thing, and it’s a big deal.
Love is great, it’s necessary. But love is not enough.
Yes, I understood.
The thing that made me sad is Ruth still seen she could harm herself, even doing depression treatment…
I dream of a day when ninjas don’t have to be in the closet…
*Ruth gnaws on femurs*
Billie: THIS IS THE PART OF YOU I LOVE!
also Billie: *passes out from blood loss*
Ruth: aw, crap. knew i shoulda broken up when i had the chance.
Time for Penny to finally come out of the closet.
The random staff member that gave Joe a handy or whatever?
For three years I dated a widow who had taken her husband’s death really hard. Eventually she broke up with me because she was worried about becoming so close to me that she’d be traumatized again if I were to die.
Ruth, similarly, is afraid of continuing a good thing because it might turn into a bad thing.
Being afraid that you might hurt or kill your partner is more than just being afraid of intimacy though.
Wow, they’re both glaring at the author in the last panel 😀
haha they are ^^
Haha from me too. That did not occur to me until I saw your comment, but you are absolutely right!
“I’m happy. She’s happy. Everything is ideal for us. Therefore, I have to destroy our perfect happiness before the universe shits on me again.”
*FACEPALM*
I mean, when you put it that way… she’s not wrong.
*looks at 4th wall too*
So Ruth wants to break up with Jennifer because things are going pretty good right now and they might go bad in the future? Am I understanding this right? Because that doesn’t sound like a good reason to break up with someone to me.
Yes.
Specifically, Ruth wants to break up with Jennifer because she has been willing to assist her in committing suicide in the past, and doesn’t want to find herself back in that place. As you may be aware, depression and alcoholism tend to be chronic conditions, so it’s not unreasonable to fear a relapse.
so basically, what you said with being sarcastic =)
without* being sarcastic, lol
ANY reason is a good reason to break up with somebody, because all reasons ultimately boil down to “I no longer wish to continue this relationship”, and that’s the only reason anybody needs. THAT IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON.
I agree with all of this in principle but there is something about breaking up with someone because you don’t think you’re good enough for them and want to “save them” from you that rubs me the wrong way. It’s very “I know better than you do what’s right for you.”
If she were approaching this from the perspective of “I don’t think this relationship is healthy for ME and could hinder my recovery” that would be different, but her entire framing seems to indicate she loves Billie, wants to be with Billie, but Ruth thinks she herself is a destructive force and she must remove herself to protect Billie before she drags her down. She’s not treating Billie as an equal partner with agency and the ability to decide what is right for herself.
I mean one could argue that’s a good reason for them not to be together: Ruth is simultaneously putting Billie up on a pedestal, acting like Billie cannot make decisions for herself about her role in their relationship, or whether it’s healthy for her.
So yeah their dynamic/relationship is still obviously not healthy, even though Ruth is much happier. But the specific way Ruth is analyzing it is ALSO unhealthy, as if she were solely responsible for any past or future potential harm to Billie and herself, rather than them BOTH having issues they would need to work on together if they wanted to stay together, or work on individually to stay/become healthier even if they aren’t together.
Which is probably both: why Billie is so mad at Ruth (Ruth made a choice about what was best for Billie FOR Billie), and why Ruth post-flashback hasn’t been doing so well (seems depressed and cranky again, drinking again).
Tl;dr it seems like Ruth actually DOES *want* to continue the relationship, from a purely ”what makes her happy” perspective, but breaks up with Billie because she thinks Billie would be better off without her and is pulling some kind of misguided “if you love her, let her go” thing.
Sorry for another comment, just thinking out loud here:
I guess it’s unclear to me how much of this is supposed to be Ruth actually looking at the situation rationally and thinking she needs to focus on her own mental health alone for BOTH their sakes, or if it’s Ruth putting Billie up on a pedestal/assuming she isn’t good enough for Billie because of their last and because she thinks she will inevitably backslide and drag Billie down with her.
If it IS at least in part her just not trusting that she’s stable enough to handle a healthy relationship right now, that sounds a bit more rational. After writing my above comments, I just saw another comment from yesterday that phrased it as her not trusting herself and that might change my view on it if that’s what’s going on. Just for some reason I read it in this very martyrdom “I can never be good enough for her, I must leave her for her own good!” say that bugged me.
Oh my goodness autocorrect is running wild today.
“Because of their PAST” not “last”
“WAY that bugged me” not “say”
It’s not some nameless hypothetical bad outcome, it’s the outcome that very nearly happened only a few months (weeks?) ago.
All I’m getting from this
Is that they might get back together in present time
With like, a ton of work, but I CAN DREAM DAMMIT
Jeez. That’s a rough spot to be in.
I feel like equating (re)starting off your relationship with a murder weapon metaphor isn’t a real encouraging subconscious hint.
check the closet for Ninja Rick!