I feel like this is a misunderstanding of why people do this. It’s not about proving that one’s life is also as bad as theirs, it’s about explaining that you’ve been through something similar and thus the person is not alone in their pain.
That’s it Becks – never think about today what you can successfully put off until tomorrow! Let that be Future Becks’ problem instead, she can cope with it better than you anyway ‘cos she’s older! Alternatively, maybe she deserves that problem more than you do, ‘cos of all the stuff she’s done that you haven’t yet! xD
God, Jennifer is so toxic. Obviously “moving on” to her just means “being in a relationship.” If Ruthless is doing better and feels like she’s moved on, then she gets to say she has.
On the one hand, yes, Jennifer is clearly oversimplifying it to ‘In a new relationship = moved on; not in a new relationship (or at least screwing new people) = not moved on’, which is BS. On the other hand, what we have seen of Ruth every time Jennifer is brought up is pretty indicative of not moved on. But also X-to-doubt that Jennifer is as moved on as she claims.
Do you have to be over someone to have moved on? I’m not really over my ex, and probably won’t be until I find another long term partner, but I respect our separation and I’m looking for new partners. Have I not moved on?
It’s different for everyone. I would argue that moving on is when you aren’t going to go back to your ex. Therefore, being in a new relationship does not guarantee that you have moved on. You have simply found someone to occupy your time.
Then again, as your new relationship grows, you may find yourself moving on. Sometimes the lie becomes the truth. Your rebound may become more.
I’d argue “moving on” from a relationship is like moving on from a tragedy- it might always suck, you might never be able to look on it as something neutral or not emotionally charged, but it isn’t always taking up your energy and you can go weeks or months without being hit by those feels.
As for what Jennifer thinks? We’d have to asher about it.
Billiefer doesn’t get to define “moved on” for Ruth, or gatekeep what “moving on” is, either. I doubt her “I’ve moved on, you haven’t” mentality would be the same even if she wasn’t with Asher.
I bet dollars to donuts she just mentally boxed up “relationship with Ruth” along with everything else from first semester so she could pretend none of it ever happened, and called that “moved on”. Introspective, she is not.
I didn’t know you were a manifestation of my subconscious, Clif.
Can we please skip over the cringe-y kid and teenager stuff that only I remember? That horse has been thoroughly beaten to Jell-O with jumper cables by this point. Thanks.
If your Ex comes to you, in a private conversation, professing to have come to their ‘senses’, realizing the terrible terrible mistake they moved on, and you listen, and consider re-starting that relationship… your new relationship be-damned… you’ve not moved on. This is true whether you are actually in a new relationship, or not.
I guess it depends on what you’re thinking during your consideration. I’ve had an ex do exactly that, and what I considered was that they’re “I’m ready to take you back” was a mirror of how my parents kicked me out of their home when I was 15. The ex was parroting my own parents abusive manipulation and trying to pull the same shit on me. The funny thing was that it didn’t work for my parents when I was 15 (they accused me of dealing when I’ve never even possessed an illegal substance), so it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for my ex. I politely informed the ex that I was quite alright with us being, as they had put it, “through.” Then I got up and walked out of the café and never looked back.
So, I mean, I considered it, but never in the sense of actually getting back together, but in the sense of, “yeah, how horrifically toxic would this be for me.”
Yeah, it seems to me that Ruth was generally fine with Jennifer being there and only got upset when she started making demands of her that she had no right to make. Having said that, Ruth, who famously liked to have a target for anger in the past, quickly let it go in yesterday’s strip and started getting visibly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. I think she legitimately has moved on, even if she is not in another relationship.
Jennifer, on the other hand, despite being in a relationship with Asher now, seems to thrive on toxicity and therefore isn’t quite prepared to totally move on from whatever drama came between Ruth and her. Honestly, I doubt her relationship with Asher is that healthy either.
Lastly, Becky really isn’t as worldly as she has thought she was because she should taken the damned hint already that these two are not on the verge of getting back together like it’s midway through a romcom.
This really strikes me as Jennifer being very unhappy that Ruth isn’t begging for her back or something along those lines. You don’t get to decide if Ruth is moved on or not, sweetie. And if YOU ARE moved on then you probably shouldn’t care….about her being moved on or about her being in the class.
“I have even emphasised how stable my relationship with my boyfriend is because that is a totally normal thing to do, so it must be the truth,” she says to herself, like a liar.
To be fair, sitting far apart would’ve forced Willis to draw all the desks and students in between them as they shouted this conversation from opposite sides of the room
The middle ground of plot progression vs drawing would be Jennifer stomping off to the back instead of continuing to engage once we established they are in same class and she is not happy about it. If we are using Willis’ need as a barometer of plot set up, then she would have been free to leave… unless there is still a reason for her sitting close. Plenty of characters have split their seating in class.
Even if she was on the other end of the room, we know she’d continue dropping passive-aggressive jabs into everything she says. Billiefer needs drama like plants need water and sunlight.
And here I thought you were about to share with us your “Ode to Fuckface”, using its taxonomic nomenclature of Iguana Iguana, Conolophus subcristatus, or whatever type of iguana they are.
I have a limited understand of herp keeping, but to my knowledge most Green Iguanas are hateful fuckers, pretty easy to set off. Getting one to be as chill with handling as Fuckface is would be a feat
All along this has been a Harry Potter AU where Voldemort really wanted to teach Gender Studies 101 for some reason, and cursed the classroom when Leslie got hired instead.
I think Newllend(henryvolt) only meant that a decent therapist would probably have pointed out the problems in Billie X Ruth, and a very good therapist might have been able to get them to split up to pursue healthier relationships.
Just to clarify because I think I’m going insane, we didn’t actually see them break up, right? Like, at the end of last semester, they were fine, right? And *something* happened over break? Or am I going crazy and missed something?
If you’re referring to the arguments they had, they got those settled, I thought. Like, they weren’t real sweet about it, but they did talk about their issues.
Yeah, that’s part of why the break up felt weird – the last thing we saw from them was real progress – Jennifer committing to quit drinking and actually doing so along with starting therapy. That resolved the big conflict in their relationship.
It might well have led to others, but we didn’t see those and still haven’t.
I’m starting to feel less confident in Jennifer. She’s starting to revert to the old “Billie” mannerisms. Like if she really moved on why would she be so petty about Ruth right now? Not a good sign for the Jennifer lifestyle I really want to believe in.
Or it could just be a repeat of why she was ghosting everyone not from her new dorm – trying to [pretend/keep anyone from finding out that she’s not] perfectly fine and normal.
Again.
This whole thing has been nothing but her slapping on a mask and pretending her old problems don’t exist just because her life is superficially different. This is like the third or forth time she’s tried this since the comic started, it’s just this time she’s tried a name switch to go with it.
Yeah, well I can (as a bullied person in High School) sympathize with being desirous to ‘starting over’… and yet she went to the main/major State Uni for her area, what did she expect, really. And her alcoholism ain’t helping. Many many students, during their first year, go bat-shit crazy, being away and out from under-the-thumb, but she came here an alcoholic already.
You say revert like the way she was interacting with Walky at her immediate reintroduction wasn’t just like she did at the very beginning of the comic. The biggest difference in her I saw was that she seemed to think she had achieved the level of cool she thought she deserved at the beginning of the comic.
She’s been shunning people she thinks are beneath her just like she used to.
She wasn’t shunning Walky or anyone and I’ll die on that hill if I have to. She told Walky that she wasn’t ignoring him or treating him as an enemy and that she was busy and was going to therapy and wanted to be called Jennifer, Walky took that poorly and proceeded to stalk and annoy her until she DID decide to shun him! And frankly I didn’t blame her for wanting to distance herself from him. Family or not their relationship brings out a side of Jennifer she doesn’t like and Walky should’ve respected that. He didn’t when everyone else did.
She told Walky they weren’t enemies and she was busy and happy because of therapy. So the next time Walky ran into her (their faculties are in the same building, he wasn’t stalking her), he acted like her friend. And THEN he annoyed her until she told him they weren’t friends and to shove off.
Maybe the term “stalking” is a bit extreme on my end but “Ran into” is also a stretch to me considering he was waiting for her and blatantly admitted it was specifically to annoy her, but apparently that’s okay because that’s just their relationship I guess? So I can’t blame her for wanting to distance herself from Walky because he draws out that negative side of herself and apparently so does Ruth.
Okay, you do that. You enjoy that hill. I’m going to enjoy the comic, and try to avoid reading your comments in the future, because they just raise my blood pressure.
Though admittedly Becky didn’t know bi people existed when she got here, so asexuality and different levels of libido and kinds of attraction are probably MILES outside of her knowledge.
Yeah this is kinda my take too. Becky’s got all these new feelings she’s staked her identity on but might not have the capacity to get out of her own head.
She’s super horny on main for Dina but that’s not how Dina rolls so Becky treats it as a defect on her own part, that she’s not good enough to prompt in Dina the reaction that Dina prompts in her.
She’s not blaming Dina for it, thank god, and given how upfront and honest Dina has been with Becky that she actually would like to have sex with her whenever Becky feels comfortable, I wonder if Becky is approaching this from the point of view that Dina would somehow be doing her a favour and not be invested in it herself.
Yeah, she and Dina are real good at communicating, so I’m not too worried about them. Becky just wasn’t aware of this possibility and it’s hitting her weird. They’ll talk it out I’m sure
…where does Jennifer even get this notion of “you haven’t moved on”? Because she didn’t drop a class to get away from her ex? When I was that age, if I saw a person do a thing like that to avoid an ex, my very first thought would have would be “SOMEONE hasn’t moved on…”
I’m okay withholding my judgment on why Jennifer thinks Ruth hasn’t moved on because it looks like something crucial happened during timeskip? But it’s also a bit frustrating because it’s like being in a room of friends after being gone for a month and they keep talking about That Thing that happened while I was gone. Only That Thing is alllll the things, for everybody!
Last panel suggests a couple of feet belonging to Ruth and Jennifer are going to impact on Becky’s butt very shortly and I wouldn’t blame them in the slightest
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the things I like about her have kind of been drowning under the level of obnoxious she’s been pumping out seemingly with all of her might.
Although really the things that shook me out of liking her the most were the couple of moments when she basically brushed off the early tremors of Joyce’s current crisis of faith.
Aww Becky just needs time to privately talk to Dina. No one to interrupt while she learns about her girlfriend’s (assumed grey) ace-ness. I’m grey ace and while I’m not about to initiate any sexual situations, if I’m in love with the person, I’m willing to meet them where they’re at.
Right, Ruth hasn’t moved on. Sure. Funny, I don’t see Ruth being the one who is accusing others of not moving on…
Once again, Billie/Jennifer is being the toxic one and showing that she’s the actual problem and not others. I hope she gets a reality check at some point because she deserves it. Maybe Asher caught cheating on her? Finding out hat she has zero friends and the girls in the dorm actually don’t like her? Lucy pities her?
Honestly I’m kind of hoping asher dumps her for being too toxic bc 1. I still like him and don’t think he’s toxic, 2. It would be a really funny subversion
How do you figure? Becky’s done a whole lot of stuff Joyce/their religious upbringing disapproves of, and was seen snapping at Joyce for being too nihilistic.
Seems to me like Becky’s moral sense is pretty much autonomous.
Come on Becky, look on the bright side: at least they’re only not interested in you due to their bodies not working that way instead of not being interested in you because of of your personality, like most others would be.
Wait. What am I saying? We now have Word of Willis that Jennifer’s been Mike in disguise all along, and we shall have to appropriately add that fact to the discussion at every opportunity.
Wait, Billie caught Ruth in bed with Jennifer aka Mike in disguise? And now Jennifer is needling Ruth repeatedly in the feels about it and blaming her for Billie being MIA (presumably having assumed that she was having a psychiatric break and checking herself in somewhere)?
Other than thinking “dang, how good is Mike’s disguise?!” that sounds plausible in context…
That’s an impressive disguise Mike’s got going on, making himself not only look just like Billie, but also act and presumably sound just like her too. He’s clearly a master of disguise.
What do you want to bet that the only metric Jennifer is using to declare that Ruth ‘hasn’t moved on’ is that she doesn’t have a new partner?
See, Jennifer’s moved on because she has a BOYFRIEND, which means she is totally over Ruth, and in fact, this is the only way to ever get over anyone–to rebound. Duh. Obvious. xD
Based on the currently available information that seems most likely, but we’re operating on very little information, so I’m not placing any bets on that score quite yet.
Yes, Billie’s idea of moving on is ‘be with someone else’ rather than ‘I have the emotional distance to no longer want to be with you regardless of feelings and would not go back to you if I was actively with someone else’.
“OK, so let’s see, I’ve got to move up ‘bi people exist’ and ‘internalized biphobia’ to Lesson One, which means I have to move the ‘Why are we here’ discussion because whatever their answers are, I know why they SHOULD be here, and — dammit! My Star Wards references! I have to rework all my Star Wars references!”
Some of her fans act like that too, when you point out any flaws with her.
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I could sympathize for her while Ross was still hunting her down without actually liking her. After all the times she’s failed upwards and her increasingly obnoxious behaviour, added to her main antagonist conveniently “being banished to the Shadow Realm” and no longer being a threat, that sympathy has dried up.
I don’t think Becky learning about asexuality and why Dina isn’t turned on by her is gonna actually address her problem, which is that she feels like no one’s ever found her sexually attractive and therefore she ISN’T sexually attractive, period. Sure, Dina specifically has non-Becky reasons, and so does Joyce, but I don’t think ANY women have expressed that Becky gets them hot and bothered. If they did, even if she wasn’t into them, I think it’d help her put this anxiety to rest.
Someone finding her sexually attractive, and the throwing her under the bus when they got caught making out, is what got her kicked out of her Christian college.
I doubt it. Her problem is with her feelings not being reciprocated–it’s a feeling of rejection, that nobody she loves will feel the same way about her. I have a feeling this is butting up with some internalized bullshit from her upbringing.
It’s becoming apparent that they don’t, though. Becky doesn’t understand that Dina is asexual and not just uninterested in her (which is ODD considering she’s stated many times that she wants to Do It with Becky).
So? They ALSO have literally only talked about that the one time, very, very briefly. There’s this thing they do where they communicate to each other and work stuff out. It’s why their relationship is so wholesome
She’s not sex repulsed, though. It’s very likely she wants to know what this whole sex thing is about. It’s a huge part of life at university. Being the person who isn’t trying to get laid can be isolating. Speaking from personal experience. And despite her most fervent wishes, Dina is still human.
Dina’s most fervent wishes don’t exactly entail transcending her animal desires. I would bet most dinosaurs are a lot less complicated than us big-brained apes when it comes to sex.
*bird of paradise enters the chat*
Could have just agreed that the two are broken up and moved on. But she just had to insist on making a fact that Ruth is still in love with her and won’t get over it.
Also I guess truth is the one who dumped Billie.
Also-Also, that was a good opportunity to get her to change the subject to her but they just passed it up.
“Truth is the one who dumped Billie”!!
Hahaha your autocorrect poetry continues to crack me up ^^
Please never stop not reading before posting this is awesome
Becky learned about relationships from the same parent-approved Sunday morning cartoons and 1960s romcoms as Joyce did. Either Joyce is gonna help her learn to unlearn a lotta junk or reality is gonna learn her face into cement.
Joyce has shown a very determined refusal to talk to Becky about matters related to unlearning said junk. Given a binary choice there I know which I think is more likely.
Although if I’m being honest, after Becky basically gave her the brush-off on such matters, I can’t say as I entirely blame her for not wanting to open up to Becky about it again.
Becky strikes me really strongly as the type who doesn’t learn until experience smacks her in the face. Even if Joyce tried to help, I don’t think she’d listen.
To bad this is the one class Joyce ain’t taking with Becky, she can probably talk about doubting her religious beliefs with Leslie since she’s been there.
See, I’d find Becky to be tiring just because she insists on talking about all this out in the open. That’s two classes in a row she’s bringing up personal things, whether about herself or someone else, out loud where anyone can and not want to hear about it.
Becky nukes boundaries harder than she does closets.
In her defense, I don’t think she knows how to establish or respect them period, nor does she understand this is all private. As in, she was an only child in a nuclear family with an abusive dad in a very church authoritarian small town environment where everybody was in everybody’s business… She didn’t have her autonomy respected by her dad and didn’t trust anyone in their bigoted hometown with who she truely was and at her first exposure to sharing herself with someone at Anderson basically got hit by the judgement bus. When they revisited hometown after attempted kidnapping, people were fixated on her hair and getting her abusive dad out of jail without asking how she was. She was made invisible. When it’s the first chance to be you… you get loud. You want to make sure those who are still around respect all those parts. You feel the need to overshare so people know what they are getting into and don’t feel “tricked” and “decieved” so you can feel like a good person again. Because people totally tell you your hiding yourself was proof your new identity was wrong because then you “wouldn’t have had to lie.”
Give her 3 years and she might be a Carla where she realizes the biggest threat is her existing in her best life. Right now? This is showing her where she can be safe and then she will learn not everything HAS to be out there to be valid either. Is it the best way? Nope. Does she know a better one? probably not.
I’m gonna have to agree with a bunch of other people here. Judging by her behavior in the past few strips, I’m not convinced that Jennifer has actually “moved on”.
The tricky part is that “moving on” means something different to a lot of people, and emotions don’t tend to be so black and white. For instance, what about people who parted amicably because they realized the relationship just wouldn’t work out long-term (perhaps because of vastly different life goals, like one person absolutely wanting children but the other absolutely NOT wanting them), but still retain feelings for each other? Can you ever truly say that you’ve moved on from someone that you know you still love, but logically know that the two of you can never find a happy life together?
Anyway, based on Ruth’s outburst during Booster’s psychoanalysis, it’s safe to say that the break-up is still a sore point for Ruth (although we haven’t seen enough to say if she still harbors feelings for Billie). On the other hand, from everything we’ve seen of Billie it seems safe to conclude that she’s decided her relationship with Ruth is done and she has no plans to ever get back with her again.
The way I feel like moving on is: you have accepted you can’t be together. You no longer are willing to be with them. You may still love them. You may still be sad about it. But if they came to you, begging for a second or third or fourth chance, you’d say no. If you had a new partner, you wouldn’t break up with this person if your ex came knocking at your door. And you wouldn’t let your feelings lead choices to make them want you back, to impress them or to try to regain it.
I don’t feel like you have to ever stop loving past partners to move on. Because people who lose partners to untimely deaths especially, deserve to be able to treasure how much that person meant to them as a partner. But you do need to not be mentally reserving that person the partner spot any more.
Billie doesn’t seem to have accepted things are done in my eyes, because she is overcompensating. Emphasising how great her new relationship is. And that reeks of high school cheerleader making someone jealous to want you again tactics. And it seems like she is projecting by insisting Ruth is the one not moved on. Ruth might still have a lot of feels about it, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on and accepted it is over.
Beautifully put!
One issue only is that maybe Jennifer is not trying to win Ruth back by flaunting her new relstionship; not being fully moved on might mean you want the other person to suffer for the pain you’re still feeling from the breakup
….um rereading maybe that’s what you’re saying actually
“That’s future me’s problem” is an attitude which proves Becky is a true college student now. Didn’t take her long!
Though like many here I’m more interested in the past right now. Jennifer, what you doing? I mean you’re right that Ruth hasn’t moved on but how do you know that?
It’s also a bad sign when Ruth is the reasonable one, or at least seems to be in this classroom interaction. Granted there’s a lot of stuff we don’t know yet.
I don’t get the third panel… I thought the previous class it was established that Becky and Dina turn each other on? What nuances is this old man missing?
Dina experienced being into Becky sexually for possibly the first time in that class, and the feeling of sexual attraction (“euphoria in her pants”) went poof after a few seconds. Becky OTOH is horny for Dina 24/7.
Becky’s horny for Dina, but Dina not as much, because that’s who Dina’s brain is wired and Becky doesn’t get it, so she thinks it’s her fault and now the second love of her life isn’t going to love her back the way she wants to be.
There’s probably something deeper to look into that Becky has a paralyzing fear of sex at the cost of her immortal soul and her crushing disappointment in not being able to arouse her girlfriend.
Eventually Dina has sex and finds out she isn’t struck by lightning, like, in the holy wrath or in the holy fuck sense. It’s just kinda fun and goofy. She goes on to chill the fuck out
…More seriously someone recently made the point in a comment that the Christian discourse around abstinence might paradoxically paint sex as this super intense urge that everyone experiences and needs to fight mightily against. I think that point was made to explain how come Becky is struggling to get Dina’s asexuality, but it could also apply to Becky’s understanding of her own desires maybe. Not that her being a constantly horny teenager struggling to come to terms with a hyperrepressive upbringing deserves any special explanation.
Yeah my take on Becky is that she has a religious fundie brand paralyzing fear of actual sex, but she still expects to be viewed as a sexual being (for one person, her lifelong wife). Right now Dina is *supposed* to be incredibly forward with Becky as Becky has been with her regarding physical attraction, but Dina’s brain isn’t wired for that kind of expression and that makes Becky blame herself.
Hello, impersonating Becky over here *scoffs*
[In character] IDC THAT YOU GUYS ARE A COUPLE A WALKING DUMPSTER FIRES THAT TURNS INTO A TRAINWRECK OF DUMPSTER FIRES WHEN YOURE TOGETHER I ONLY CARE THAT YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY SUPER DUPER HORNY FOR EACH OTHER NOW MAKE OUT
Can’t tell if this is a ace/selfawareness joke or true self depreciation followed by minimizing. In the off chance it is the latter…
It takes two, so you know it wasn’t all on you, right? It takes communication and relearning a new style that accommodates mutual preferences/abilities with each new partner. If you can’t find that balance as a pair, that makes it an incompatibility rather than personal failure. The only way it would have been on you is if you were actively ignoring your partner.
… I know this is a throw away on the internet (with smiley face!), but how I’m reading it is sitting a little off in my brain. If it was just a joke, my bad.
Its so strange to me how many people in here have intense feelings about these characters, like frequently being irritated and/or outright upset it seems? I guess I’m an a-something, where “something” stands for that emotional investment in characters in a story? Am I in a majority who just normally isnt moved to leave comments very much? Or is experiencing characters as friends (and foes) the normal, and enjoying their fictional lives without feeling moved to judge them most of the time a quirk? Or are all y’all mostly performing Having Strong Feelings about paper people and I’m just not getting it? It certainly sounds very earnest a lot of the time.
Well you’re talking about a subset of the wider audience for DoA who loves it enough to comment on it every day.
Then there’s the daily update schedule, where individual strips and character actions and character arcs over the course of months and years get doled out one page at a time, so if say someone was really cross with Becky for her treatment of Dorothy they had a whole lot of time to read through that with day-long periods of time between updates.
So you’re saying feelings occur because this parasocial connection to the characters has been building up over years and years for old time regulars? That makes sense. I am pretty new here. I even asked how Dina’s name was pronounced, like, last week *facepalm*
You are very lucky, the Willis is a vengeful god with that one. They only show less mercy when someone asks to change the comments to Disqus.
No but yeah we’ve still got a lot of really old hat readers from years and years ago, where actively engaging with the community is part of their experience reading DoA. Add to that we have 24 hours to stew over a particular character interaction and you’ve got the commentariat.
Yes to above, also:
1) catharsis for people who have been in similar situations before.
2) there are a growing number of comics that feature a diverse cast, but this one has been around a long time and permeatations of these characters even longer. If you are in a minority who rarely sees realistic representation, it’s natutal to be invested in how those parts of your identity are being protrayed. It is powerful to find a character you identity with, or even dislike due to their foibles rather than only seeing reduced tolkienized nods.
3) the nature of Fandom itself. People get invested when something touches them and helps cement their identity regardless of what it was. Whether it’s acceptance, the community, an understanding of self, a development of a moral. This comic presents just as many of these issues as any book, movie, parent, friend and that is important to many.
Oh wow great points, thank you both. I’m a freak in my own ways, like, aren’t we all, but I definitely am not at a loss for good fictional representation as badly as most, being a white cis dude and all.
..Actually I do know the sort of emotions you describe, I get that way about a certain sort of confidently androgynous and vulnerable male character, so I do get what you’re saying and all of a sudden i’m feeling very silly about my tone-deaf comment haha
You know how some people get really invested in soap operas, watching them every day for years, getting upset over characters’ seemingly inconsequential actions?
That’s us.
And you know how ridiculous that seems to a new viewer who’s only seen about 10 minutes of actual story progress over a couple weeks, and still piecing the characters and their intertwined stories and relationships together?
That’s you, for now anyway.
Don’t worry about it. Ignore jerks who yell at for asking questions. Read a few back chapters. You will be assimilated. Gooble-gobble, one of us. One of us. We’ll have you yelling at the screen and damning Willis before you know it! 😀
Awww thank you Needfuldoer, that’s sweet ✨ listen i’m acquainted with the whole comic already, i’ve recently embarked on my second read, i’ve been following it silently for maybe a couple years now. i’m just new to the commenting scene ^^
But youre right, im now sure its only a matter of days (…comic time) before I get as heavily invested in the lives of these goofballs as any one of you!
– Don’t project your insecurities on other people.
– Just because Dina’s not champing at the bit to get in your pants, that doesn’t mean she’s any less into you as you are her. It’s a spectrum, not a toggle switch.
Ooh cool article, I didn’t mean to take a stand on the issue by misquoting the OP I just responded quickly without a reread and for me its always been “chomping” bc yeah thats more graphic than the obsolete “champing” (full disclosure I’d never paid attention to the distinction and if pressed would’ve guessed that “champing” was a typo), but ty for edifying me ^^
Not autistic, but unrelated to her cognitive ability, she’s gray-ace, meaning some degree asexual, and that’s the complication Becky was refering to. Becky is very much a sexual being, but is inhibited by her continued faith in her childhood doctrine against the premarital of hankies-panky. (and possibly hairy hand habits under the same umbrella)
Argh, Becky!! You’ve had months to learn how to read the room of modern society and learn where your opinions are not wanted and are crossing boundaries! Also, months of learning about your girlfriend’s intimate nuances. Come on.
I definitely get that what Dina says certainly points to saying she’s ace (or something under the umbrella of the same name – but it’s not my place to assume). But she also said she WAS turned on (by Becky, or by Science?), but Joe’s mouth-running was a complete turn-off, and then said she’s totally up for boning Becky whenever she’s ready and when they’re both in the mood.
I’m asexual, but I ASSUME most people of other sexualities aren’t, as Becky said, “bucketin’ water” for other people 24 hours, and have some sense of sexual decorum in public, or, ya know… think about school and friends and hobbies and other things besides fuckin’ sometimes!
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webcomic name: oh no
You just now noticed it was Dumbing of Age?
https://webcomicname.com/post/641409382403506176
Also https://webcomicname.com/post/635040946015354880
Cultural referent updated. (Thanks).
I feel like this is a misunderstanding of why people do this. It’s not about proving that one’s life is also as bad as theirs, it’s about explaining that you’ve been through something similar and thus the person is not alone in their pain.
It’s a neurodivergent thing.
Yeah, but I took it away as representing the point of view from the ‘first party’ in that discussion. That is the one saying ‘oh no’.
Curse you all for bringing this into my life. It is now RUINED until I finish its archive.
Ha, you wish. It’ll be ruined after that too, when you have to wait for updates.
As they say, virtue is its own reward.
That’s a wierd way of spelling punishment.
@Azhrei Vep: oh no
(same)
The all new Rocky patch! Lets you run up flights of stairs and punch things repeatedly.
Side effects: Dizziness, tremors, slurred speech.
Ask your doctor if the Rocky patch is right for you.
Putting off problems for your future self is even easier when you live in a sliding time scale.
Yeah, these kids are probably never escaping freshman year, let alone getting married and settling down, so no worries!
That said the demands of slipshine probably mean Becky won’t wind up waiting for marriage
“This sounds like a problem for another 3 decades away at least!”
That’s it Becks – never think about today what you can successfully put off until tomorrow! Let that be Future Becks’ problem instead, she can cope with it better than you anyway ‘cos she’s older! Alternatively, maybe she deserves that problem more than you do, ‘cos of all the stuff she’s done that you haven’t yet! xD
There are some problems with the her logic here but Becky x Dina is kind of the benchmark right now. Maybe the bar’s just set real low.
Nah, it’s clearly Sarah x Other Jacob.
Yeah, Sarah never has any difficulties turning Other Jacob on…providing the batteries are fresh.
Hey, even the best relationship requires a bit of maintenance.
I don’t believe you about the moving on part Jen
God, Jennifer is so toxic. Obviously “moving on” to her just means “being in a relationship.” If Ruthless is doing better and feels like she’s moved on, then she gets to say she has.
On the one hand, yes, Jennifer is clearly oversimplifying it to ‘In a new relationship = moved on; not in a new relationship (or at least screwing new people) = not moved on’, which is BS. On the other hand, what we have seen of Ruth every time Jennifer is brought up is pretty indicative of not moved on. But also X-to-doubt that Jennifer is as moved on as she claims.
Do you have to be over someone to have moved on? I’m not really over my ex, and probably won’t be until I find another long term partner, but I respect our separation and I’m looking for new partners. Have I not moved on?
It’s different for everyone. I would argue that moving on is when you aren’t going to go back to your ex. Therefore, being in a new relationship does not guarantee that you have moved on. You have simply found someone to occupy your time.
Then again, as your new relationship grows, you may find yourself moving on. Sometimes the lie becomes the truth. Your rebound may become more.
I’d argue “moving on” from a relationship is like moving on from a tragedy- it might always suck, you might never be able to look on it as something neutral or not emotionally charged, but it isn’t always taking up your energy and you can go weeks or months without being hit by those feels.
As for what Jennifer thinks? We’d have to asher about it.
Billiefer doesn’t get to define “moved on” for Ruth, or gatekeep what “moving on” is, either. I doubt her “I’ve moved on, you haven’t” mentality would be the same even if she wasn’t with Asher.
I bet dollars to donuts she just mentally boxed up “relationship with Ruth” along with everything else from first semester so she could pretend none of it ever happened, and called that “moved on”. Introspective, she is not.
“Bet”, not “doubt”. Yaaay proofreading.
“Moving on” is so much easier if you never, ever look back or reflect on past mistakes.
Personally I think we should go back and obsessively replay our past mistakes over and over so that we can recognize when we’ve made them again.
I didn’t know you were a manifestation of my subconscious, Clif.
Can we please skip over the cringe-y kid and teenager stuff that only I remember? That horse has been thoroughly beaten to Jell-O with jumper cables by this point. Thanks.
If your Ex comes to you, in a private conversation, professing to have come to their ‘senses’, realizing the terrible terrible mistake they moved on, and you listen, and consider re-starting that relationship… your new relationship be-damned… you’ve not moved on. This is true whether you are actually in a new relationship, or not.
“terrible terrible mistake they made”
I guess it depends on what you’re thinking during your consideration. I’ve had an ex do exactly that, and what I considered was that they’re “I’m ready to take you back” was a mirror of how my parents kicked me out of their home when I was 15. The ex was parroting my own parents abusive manipulation and trying to pull the same shit on me. The funny thing was that it didn’t work for my parents when I was 15 (they accused me of dealing when I’ve never even possessed an illegal substance), so it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for my ex. I politely informed the ex that I was quite alright with us being, as they had put it, “through.” Then I got up and walked out of the café and never looked back.
So, I mean, I considered it, but never in the sense of actually getting back together, but in the sense of, “yeah, how horrifically toxic would this be for me.”
So, have you been back to that café since then?
( a latte is a latte but a good cigar is a smoke )
Yes Jennifer, you’ve clearly moved on. Not like getting upset that your ex is in the same class as you shows any signs of not moving on. /s
Also, Becky you need to learn boundaries(and also that sexual attraction isn’t the same as love) and accept that people break up, even lesbians.
Yeah, it seems to me that Ruth was generally fine with Jennifer being there and only got upset when she started making demands of her that she had no right to make. Having said that, Ruth, who famously liked to have a target for anger in the past, quickly let it go in yesterday’s strip and started getting visibly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. I think she legitimately has moved on, even if she is not in another relationship.
Jennifer, on the other hand, despite being in a relationship with Asher now, seems to thrive on toxicity and therefore isn’t quite prepared to totally move on from whatever drama came between Ruth and her. Honestly, I doubt her relationship with Asher is that healthy either.
Lastly, Becky really isn’t as worldly as she has thought she was because she should taken the damned hint already that these two are not on the verge of getting back together like it’s midway through a romcom.
Sexual attraction is a very important aspect of love for many people.
This really strikes me as Jennifer being very unhappy that Ruth isn’t begging for her back or something along those lines. You don’t get to decide if Ruth is moved on or not, sweetie. And if YOU ARE moved on then you probably shouldn’t care….about her being moved on or about her being in the class.
I just saw it as Jennifer wanting to feel like a better person than Ruth, to be honest.
I could see either. Or both even.
It’s definitely this but the chat is too blinded by shipping glasses.
It wasn’t the glasses I was shipping.
“I’ve moved on,” said the person who chose to sit next to her ex out of all available seats in the room.
“I have even emphasised how stable my relationship with my boyfriend is because that is a totally normal thing to do, so it must be the truth,” she says to herself, like a liar.
“‘I am perfectly happy’, says MISAKA, trying to keep from crying so as not to worry her onee-chan.”
To be fair, sitting far apart would’ve forced Willis to draw all the desks and students in between them as they shouted this conversation from opposite sides of the room
The middle ground of plot progression vs drawing would be Jennifer stomping off to the back instead of continuing to engage once we established they are in same class and she is not happy about it. If we are using Willis’ need as a barometer of plot set up, then she would have been free to leave… unless there is still a reason for her sitting close. Plenty of characters have split their seating in class.
Even if she was on the other end of the room, we know she’d continue dropping passive-aggressive jabs into everything she says. Billiefer needs drama like plants need water and sunlight.
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the cartoonist
Coincidentally, “kickin’ that can right down the road” is how Ruth and Jennifer handled so many things in their relationship
Sure that doesn’t bode anything, tho
Fuckface you’re cool and all (since you’re ectothermic if nothing else) but you’re not really my grav material
And here I thought you were about to share with us your “Ode to Fuckface”, using its taxonomic nomenclature of Iguana Iguana, Conolophus subcristatus, or whatever type of iguana they are.
I have a limited understand of herp keeping, but to my knowledge most Green Iguanas are hateful fuckers, pretty easy to set off. Getting one to be as chill with handling as Fuckface is would be a feat
Now I really want to write an Ode to Fuckface
…I mean, I will certainly share it the next time we see that splendid iguana!
Iguana iguana powersurgius?
Becky’s plan to unite them in mutual disdain of her is working
Everyone in this room needs to get their asses to therapy.
Why just their asses?
Only treatment for Butts Disease.
At my brother’s, sister’s and niece’s college, the student slogan is “We’re all here because we’re not all there.”
Eh, tha cat’s prob’ly fine
Mister Scruffy isn’t in the room, though.
I like to think Mr. Scruffy is always with us in spirit.
Mr. Scruffy has Stealth, so he could be with us in body.
Is it them, or is it the room? 😮
All along this has been a Harry Potter AU where Voldemort really wanted to teach Gender Studies 101 for some reason, and cursed the classroom when Leslie got hired instead.
Evil professor after evil professor teach over the top toxic gender roles but loose the class to an almost pitiable degree when they push abstinence.
This is a hilarious addition, I thank you kindly for it! :p
Actually I think there’s a chance that therapy might have caused this.
You interest me strangely.
I think Newllend(henryvolt) only meant that a decent therapist would probably have pointed out the problems in Billie X Ruth, and a very good therapist might have been able to get them to split up to pursue healthier relationships.
Just to clarify because I think I’m going insane, we didn’t actually see them break up, right? Like, at the end of last semester, they were fine, right? And *something* happened over break? Or am I going crazy and missed something?
You are correct, it happened during the timeskip.
I started before the whole Mike/Toe Dad/Blaine drama, the second to last arc of the first semester
If you’re referring to the arguments they had, they got those settled, I thought. Like, they weren’t real sweet about it, but they did talk about their issues.
Yeah, that’s part of why the break up felt weird – the last thing we saw from them was real progress – Jennifer committing to quit drinking and actually doing so along with starting therapy. That resolved the big conflict in their relationship.
It might well have led to others, but we didn’t see those and still haven’t.
You’re probably going crazy but no, you havent missed anything.
Ah gotcha, nothing new then
Did your Patreon lapse?
I’m starting to feel less confident in Jennifer. She’s starting to revert to the old “Billie” mannerisms. Like if she really moved on why would she be so petty about Ruth right now? Not a good sign for the Jennifer lifestyle I really want to believe in.
You had confidence in Jennifer?
I think its why she’s ghosting everyone. To get rid of alcohol and other problems in her life, she needed to remove the influences of her old life.
Or it could just be a repeat of why she was ghosting everyone not from her new dorm – trying to [pretend/keep anyone from finding out that she’s not] perfectly fine and normal.
Again.
Yup. She boxed up “Billie v4” and threw it off a bridge into a river, but
the cather past came back.Just like last time.
I wanted to. I still do think she’s trying, but the cracks are showing. Maybe it’s just a bad day. Meeting your ex does that to people.
This whole thing has been nothing but her slapping on a mask and pretending her old problems don’t exist just because her life is superficially different. This is like the third or forth time she’s tried this since the comic started, it’s just this time she’s tried a name switch to go with it.
Yeah, well I can (as a bullied person in High School) sympathize with being desirous to ‘starting over’… and yet she went to the main/major State Uni for her area, what did she expect, really. And her alcoholism ain’t helping. Many many students, during their first year, go bat-shit crazy, being away and out from under-the-thumb, but she came here an alcoholic already.
You say revert like the way she was interacting with Walky at her immediate reintroduction wasn’t just like she did at the very beginning of the comic. The biggest difference in her I saw was that she seemed to think she had achieved the level of cool she thought she deserved at the beginning of the comic.
She’s been shunning people she thinks are beneath her just like she used to.
She wasn’t shunning Walky or anyone and I’ll die on that hill if I have to. She told Walky that she wasn’t ignoring him or treating him as an enemy and that she was busy and was going to therapy and wanted to be called Jennifer, Walky took that poorly and proceeded to stalk and annoy her until she DID decide to shun him! And frankly I didn’t blame her for wanting to distance herself from him. Family or not their relationship brings out a side of Jennifer she doesn’t like and Walky should’ve respected that. He didn’t when everyone else did.
She told Walky they weren’t enemies and she was busy and happy because of therapy. So the next time Walky ran into her (their faculties are in the same building, he wasn’t stalking her), he acted like her friend. And THEN he annoyed her until she told him they weren’t friends and to shove off.
She had however apparently been “elusive” for quite awhile before that, so there may be a bit more than apparent on the surface.
Maybe the term “stalking” is a bit extreme on my end but “Ran into” is also a stretch to me considering he was waiting for her and blatantly admitted it was specifically to annoy her, but apparently that’s okay because that’s just their relationship I guess? So I can’t blame her for wanting to distance herself from Walky because he draws out that negative side of herself and apparently so does Ruth.
Okay, you do that. You enjoy that hill. I’m going to enjoy the comic, and try to avoid reading your comments in the future, because they just raise my blood pressure.
This was probably inevitable but also Becky no.
Though admittedly Becky didn’t know bi people existed when she got here, so asexuality and different levels of libido and kinds of attraction are probably MILES outside of her knowledge.
Yeah this is kinda my take too. Becky’s got all these new feelings she’s staked her identity on but might not have the capacity to get out of her own head.
She’s super horny on main for Dina but that’s not how Dina rolls so Becky treats it as a defect on her own part, that she’s not good enough to prompt in Dina the reaction that Dina prompts in her.
She’s not blaming Dina for it, thank god, and given how upfront and honest Dina has been with Becky that she actually would like to have sex with her whenever Becky feels comfortable, I wonder if Becky is approaching this from the point of view that Dina would somehow be doing her a favour and not be invested in it herself.
Yeah, she and Dina are real good at communicating, so I’m not too worried about them. Becky just wasn’t aware of this possibility and it’s hitting her weird. They’ll talk it out I’m sure
Communicating eventually, but usually only after Becky has wound herself up into a giant stress ball (and then tried to paint a happy face on it).
( picturing a ball of rubber bands wearing a happy face )
And now I have a new spirit animal…
Cept probably the Watchmen happy face…
ANALYSIS.EXE
CONFLICT DETECTED
OVERFLOW IMMINENT
Thank goodness she’s signed up for a class on sexuality!
…where does Jennifer even get this notion of “you haven’t moved on”? Because she didn’t drop a class to get away from her ex? When I was that age, if I saw a person do a thing like that to avoid an ex, my very first thought would have would be “SOMEONE hasn’t moved on…”
As an audience we don’t have much to go on either. The breakup and immediate fallout happened during the timeskip and haven’t really been explored yet
Yeah, we’re being fed tiny hints at what we’ve missed during the three month time skip
You mean besides Dina and Becky in dinosaur costumes for Halloween?
I think it’s projection.
I’m okay withholding my judgment on why Jennifer thinks Ruth hasn’t moved on because it looks like something crucial happened during timeskip? But it’s also a bit frustrating because it’s like being in a room of friends after being gone for a month and they keep talking about That Thing that happened while I was gone. Only That Thing is alllll the things, for everybody!
Can’t wait to find out what happened, a year from now
Only a year? We should be so lucky.
Well, something crucial did definitely happen. They did, after all, break up.
I meant that Ruth could have done something specific that would make Jennifer think she hadn’t moved on.
Last panel suggests a couple of feet belonging to Ruth and Jennifer are going to impact on Becky’s butt very shortly and I wouldn’t blame them in the slightest
becky mood ;_; but also i love how annoying billie and ruth are finding this lmao
—You got mud on your face, you big disgrace
Kicking your can all over the place, singin’
We will, We Will Rock You!
Becky c’mon, Becky please, Becky, stay in your lane, come on Becky…
Unfortunately Becky has never really had much recognition of lane markers.
And people act like I’m wrong for not liking her.
Also, Becky? Might wanna focus more on that path you were heading down. Seems like that’s gonna be a problem sometime around soonish.
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the things I like about her have kind of been drowning under the level of obnoxious she’s been pumping out seemingly with all of her might.
Although really the things that shook me out of liking her the most were the couple of moments when she basically brushed off the early tremors of Joyce’s current crisis of faith.
Aww Becky just needs time to privately talk to Dina. No one to interrupt while she learns about her girlfriend’s (assumed grey) ace-ness. I’m grey ace and while I’m not about to initiate any sexual situations, if I’m in love with the person, I’m willing to meet them where they’re at.
Becky can interrupt herself just fine, she doesn’t really need anyone else’s help.
Willis confirmed her grey ace so you’re correct!
Right, Ruth hasn’t moved on. Sure. Funny, I don’t see Ruth being the one who is accusing others of not moving on…
Once again, Billie/Jennifer is being the toxic one and showing that she’s the actual problem and not others. I hope she gets a reality check at some point because she deserves it. Maybe Asher caught cheating on her? Finding out hat she has zero friends and the girls in the dorm actually don’t like her? Lucy pities her?
Maybe finding out Asher was involved in the kidnapping last semester?
She’s childhood friends with Sal and Walky, she’s bound to know about Asher’s past (if only in broad strokes).
Honestly I’m kind of hoping asher dumps her for being too toxic bc 1. I still like him and don’t think he’s toxic, 2. It would be a really funny subversion
God I hate Jennifer so much
Oof, I know the feeling, Becky. I’m living that life too.
Not fun.
Jennifer, you can move on and still be single (though I do suspect there’s lingering feelings with both of ’em).
And ohhhhh Becky. Kicked cans can have a nasty ricochet.
Joyce should tell Becky about the G-Zuz thing already.
That would really have an effect on her “expectations”.
How do you figure? Becky’s done a whole lot of stuff Joyce/their religious upbringing disapproves of, and was seen snapping at Joyce for being too nihilistic.
Seems to me like Becky’s moral sense is pretty much autonomous.
Come on Becky, look on the bright side: at least they’re only not interested in you due to their bodies not working that way instead of not being interested in you because of of your personality, like most others would be.
We’re all going to be in for a shock when Billie walks in one day asking who the hell this Jennifer person is.
jennifer’s been mike in disguise all along
Oh shit
You win.
Wait. What am I saying? We now have Word of Willis that Jennifer’s been Mike in disguise all along, and we shall have to appropriately add that fact to the discussion at every opportunity.
Conversation Booster!
bless
Wait, Billie caught Ruth in bed with Jennifer aka Mike in disguise? And now Jennifer is needling Ruth repeatedly in the feels about it and blaming her for Billie being MIA (presumably having assumed that she was having a psychiatric break and checking herself in somewhere)?
Other than thinking “dang, how good is Mike’s disguise?!” that sounds plausible in context…
That’s an impressive disguise Mike’s got going on, making himself not only look just like Billie, but also act and presumably sound just like her too. He’s clearly a master of disguise.
good enough for your mom
Gashdangit to hex, I wanted to find out in the comic itself! Spoiler alert, cheese!
head canon confirmed!
Mike is a force of nature and cannot be destroyed.
What do you want to bet that the only metric Jennifer is using to declare that Ruth ‘hasn’t moved on’ is that she doesn’t have a new partner?
See, Jennifer’s moved on because she has a BOYFRIEND, which means she is totally over Ruth, and in fact, this is the only way to ever get over anyone–to rebound. Duh. Obvious. xD
Bingo.
Based on the currently available information that seems most likely, but we’re operating on very little information, so I’m not placing any bets on that score quite yet.
Pffft, Ruth has totally moved on, item: she almost slept with a guy like right before this class. So there.
Maybe, but Joe would had to been a real quicky to fit it in though.
Yes, Billie’s idea of moving on is ‘be with someone else’ rather than ‘I have the emotional distance to no longer want to be with you regardless of feelings and would not go back to you if I was actively with someone else’.
Leslie — Leslie??? Dammit, Leslie, get in here! Your students need you!
She’s just outside the door, peeking in, taking copious notes on her new students. Hurriedly adjusting her lesson plan.
Either that or she’s trying to reach the door while dodging Robin.
“OK, so let’s see, I’ve got to move up ‘bi people exist’ and ‘internalized biphobia’ to Lesson One, which means I have to move the ‘Why are we here’ discussion because whatever their answers are, I know why they SHOULD be here, and — dammit! My Star Wards references! I have to rework all my Star Wars references!”
I honestly have no idea why people like Becky.
Dang grav roulette always seems to land on the right ones.
A lot of people had sympathy (and rightly so) for her situation but it’s been repaid by having Becky act as a loud, obnoxious jackass
Some of her fans act like that too, when you point out any flaws with her.
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I could sympathize for her while Ross was still hunting her down without actually liking her. After all the times she’s failed upwards and her increasingly obnoxious behaviour, added to her main antagonist conveniently “being banished to the Shadow Realm” and no longer being a threat, that sympathy has dried up.
Being a loud, obnoxious jackass is half of why I love her 😛
Why is that?
I genuinely don’t understand why anyone would love her.
I can understand having sympathy, empathy even amusement with her but loving her because shes obnoxious is something I cant get my head around.
Five minutes in her company and I’d be gone
People like things different from you, and that’s okay.
I think she’d be tons of fun to hang out with.
Obnoxious is just Sassy’s evil twin if you think about it *nods thoughtfully*
(/personal development guru)
This might come as a shock to you smith, you might wanna sit down for this but um, people ha e different tastes, And can like things that you don’t
Further, it’s my duty to inform you that you like all the wrong things.
On account of your tastes being different than mine. But don’t be too hard on yourself though. It’s not your fault if you have inferior tastes.
Well assuming we both like this strip I’d suggest we actually have similar tastes, in certain things
How do you feel about cricket?
I’m not saying people can’t like her, I’m saying I dont understand why people do
we are here to help you
I liked Becky for a while after she first appeared in DoA, but her behavior during the past few months of strips has really gotten on my nerves.
She’s a fun gay it’s easy
I don’t think Becky learning about asexuality and why Dina isn’t turned on by her is gonna actually address her problem, which is that she feels like no one’s ever found her sexually attractive and therefore she ISN’T sexually attractive, period. Sure, Dina specifically has non-Becky reasons, and so does Joyce, but I don’t think ANY women have expressed that Becky gets them hot and bothered. If they did, even if she wasn’t into them, I think it’d help her put this anxiety to rest.
Well, there was her Anderson roommate (Kaitlyn?) She was at least into Becky enough to risk consequences.
Someone finding her sexually attractive, and the throwing her under the bus when they got caught making out, is what got her kicked out of her Christian college.
If I remember right, Becky’s Dad pulled her out of Anderson for “help.” She wasn’t expelled.
That’s a distinction without a difference
There is some difference — Kaitlyn managed to play the “Terrible mistake, led on by that awful sinner Becky” card and stay at Anderson.
Do we know that? Maybe they both got expelled.
Neither were expelled.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/fix/
I doubt it. Her problem is with her feelings not being reciprocated–it’s a feeling of rejection, that nobody she loves will feel the same way about her. I have a feeling this is butting up with some internalized bullshit from her upbringing.
Please Willis no not Beckasaur too they have the most wholesome relationship of all don’t do this
Leslie please help these goofballs, they clearly need it
I wouldn’t mind seeing it happen and even thinks its inevitable
Dammit.
Even Dina thinks its inevitable.
It’s becoming apparent that they don’t, though. Becky doesn’t understand that Dina is asexual and not just uninterested in her (which is ODD considering she’s stated many times that she wants to Do It with Becky).
So? They ALSO have literally only talked about that the one time, very, very briefly. There’s this thing they do where they communicate to each other and work stuff out. It’s why their relationship is so wholesome
It’s not odd. Becky wants to feel sexually validated; in other words, she wants to be found physically sexy.
Dina, whether she’s ace or pan, finds Becky sexy on an intellectual/emotional level. Which is not what Becky wants at the moment.
It’s just a conflict of desires.
She’s not sex repulsed, though. It’s very likely she wants to know what this whole sex thing is about. It’s a huge part of life at university. Being the person who isn’t trying to get laid can be isolating. Speaking from personal experience. And despite her most fervent wishes, Dina is still human.
Dina’s most fervent wishes don’t exactly entail transcending her animal desires. I would bet most dinosaurs are a lot less complicated than us big-brained apes when it comes to sex.
*bird of paradise enters the chat*
The mind is the primary sexual organ. Dina is way ahead of the rest of us.
“The mind” is fancy humanspeak for prefrontal cortex. I interrupt this comment to laugh at my own joke, “humanspeak” hahaha
That red background tho
*concern*
Honestly, at least two thirds of this strip are a mess
I say nine tenths.
There are three characters and five panels. Where do you get the other two tenths?
I mean the expressions alone in the last panel put it in the exceptional category, so I have to assume your math is off.
Could have just agreed that the two are broken up and moved on. But she just had to insist on making a fact that Ruth is still in love with her and won’t get over it.
Also I guess truth is the one who dumped Billie.
Also-Also, that was a good opportunity to get her to change the subject to her but they just passed it up.
“Truth is the one who dumped Billie”!!
Hahaha your autocorrect poetry continues to crack me up ^^
Please never stop not reading before posting this is awesome
Though I could be wrong, my bet is that it was intentional.
ok i bet you 1 nonsense MSpaint drawing
Against one nonsense PsychoPaint painting? Deal.
Henry, who wins?
Links! Or it didn’t happen.
Nothing’s happened yet STAY TUNED
Sorry but I was definitely was Autocorrect,
Hah! SCORE. pay up Clif.
😛
(Like, if you wish ^^ I think we agree this was a for-fun bet)
Shipping once a day will keep the terrifying doubts away!
Fandom In A Nutshell™
The cracks in Becky’s psyche are narrow but terrifyingly deep.
They’re easy to spackle over with her loud wackiness, but that doesn’t solve the actual problem.
Becky learned about relationships from the same parent-approved Sunday morning cartoons and 1960s romcoms as Joyce did. Either Joyce is gonna help her learn to unlearn a lotta junk or reality is gonna learn her face into cement.
Joyce has shown a very determined refusal to talk to Becky about matters related to unlearning said junk. Given a binary choice there I know which I think is more likely.
Although if I’m being honest, after Becky basically gave her the brush-off on such matters, I can’t say as I entirely blame her for not wanting to open up to Becky about it again.
Becky strikes me really strongly as the type who doesn’t learn until experience smacks her in the face. Even if Joyce tried to help, I don’t think she’d listen.
To bad this is the one class Joyce ain’t taking with Becky, she can probably talk about doubting her religious beliefs with Leslie since she’s been there.
I’ve always found Becky to be obnoxious. I’ll be honest, this is where it’s starting to get old for me.
See, I’d find Becky to be tiring just because she insists on talking about all this out in the open. That’s two classes in a row she’s bringing up personal things, whether about herself or someone else, out loud where anyone can and not want to hear about it.
Becky nukes boundaries harder than she does closets.
In her defense, I don’t think she knows how to establish or respect them period, nor does she understand this is all private. As in, she was an only child in a nuclear family with an abusive dad in a very church authoritarian small town environment where everybody was in everybody’s business… She didn’t have her autonomy respected by her dad and didn’t trust anyone in their bigoted hometown with who she truely was and at her first exposure to sharing herself with someone at Anderson basically got hit by the judgement bus. When they revisited hometown after attempted kidnapping, people were fixated on her hair and getting her abusive dad out of jail without asking how she was. She was made invisible. When it’s the first chance to be you… you get loud. You want to make sure those who are still around respect all those parts. You feel the need to overshare so people know what they are getting into and don’t feel “tricked” and “decieved” so you can feel like a good person again. Because people totally tell you your hiding yourself was proof your new identity was wrong because then you “wouldn’t have had to lie.”
Give her 3 years and she might be a Carla where she realizes the biggest threat is her existing in her best life. Right now? This is showing her where she can be safe and then she will learn not everything HAS to be out there to be valid either. Is it the best way? Nope. Does she know a better one? probably not.
Are you a lawyer, cos Becky should totes hire you =D
Nope, I’d probably even be annoyed by her. But I’ve seen too many kids in her place and the adults they become later and :/.
This sounds like a case for Romance Detective Becky Macintyre… as soon as she’s done with her detective monologue, that’s is.
“Becky McIntyre: Lesbian Love Sleuth, Involvee in a Perfect Relationship”, Copperplate Gothic, yadda yadda
Romance Detective Becky MacIntyre is my favourite shoujo manga.
Becky’s eyes poking out through her hair shield is such a cute sight. She is part Snuffleuffagus.
Wait, how can her hair completely cover her right eye from the front, but be behind it from the right side?
we are not worthy
I’m gonna have to agree with a bunch of other people here. Judging by her behavior in the past few strips, I’m not convinced that Jennifer has actually “moved on”.
The tricky part is that “moving on” means something different to a lot of people, and emotions don’t tend to be so black and white. For instance, what about people who parted amicably because they realized the relationship just wouldn’t work out long-term (perhaps because of vastly different life goals, like one person absolutely wanting children but the other absolutely NOT wanting them), but still retain feelings for each other? Can you ever truly say that you’ve moved on from someone that you know you still love, but logically know that the two of you can never find a happy life together?
Anyway, based on Ruth’s outburst during Booster’s psychoanalysis, it’s safe to say that the break-up is still a sore point for Ruth (although we haven’t seen enough to say if she still harbors feelings for Billie). On the other hand, from everything we’ve seen of Billie it seems safe to conclude that she’s decided her relationship with Ruth is done and she has no plans to ever get back with her again.
The way I feel like moving on is: you have accepted you can’t be together. You no longer are willing to be with them. You may still love them. You may still be sad about it. But if they came to you, begging for a second or third or fourth chance, you’d say no. If you had a new partner, you wouldn’t break up with this person if your ex came knocking at your door. And you wouldn’t let your feelings lead choices to make them want you back, to impress them or to try to regain it.
I don’t feel like you have to ever stop loving past partners to move on. Because people who lose partners to untimely deaths especially, deserve to be able to treasure how much that person meant to them as a partner. But you do need to not be mentally reserving that person the partner spot any more.
Billie doesn’t seem to have accepted things are done in my eyes, because she is overcompensating. Emphasising how great her new relationship is. And that reeks of high school cheerleader making someone jealous to want you again tactics. And it seems like she is projecting by insisting Ruth is the one not moved on. Ruth might still have a lot of feels about it, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on and accepted it is over.
Beautifully put!
One issue only is that maybe Jennifer is not trying to win Ruth back by flaunting her new relstionship; not being fully moved on might mean you want the other person to suffer for the pain you’re still feeling from the breakup
….um rereading maybe that’s what you’re saying actually
“That’s future me’s problem” is an attitude which proves Becky is a true college student now. Didn’t take her long!
Though like many here I’m more interested in the past right now. Jennifer, what you doing? I mean you’re right that Ruth hasn’t moved on but how do you know that?
It’s also a bad sign when Ruth is the reasonable one, or at least seems to be in this classroom interaction. Granted there’s a lot of stuff we don’t know yet.
On the good side of things, Billie and Ruth found someone that annoys them MORE than they do each other.
HOORAY??
Nothing bonds people better than a common enemy
I don’t get the third panel… I thought the previous class it was established that Becky and Dina turn each other on? What nuances is this old man missing?
Dina experienced being into Becky sexually for possibly the first time in that class, and the feeling of sexual attraction (“euphoria in her pants”) went poof after a few seconds. Becky OTOH is horny for Dina 24/7.
Maybe re read the interaction: “we’re girlfriends! We arouse each other all the time!” – “hmm.” – “and by hmm you mean eff yeah?” – “hmmmm.” – “I’m constantly aroused by you.” – “Yes I am aware”
Thats a bit unbalanced 🙂
Becky’s horny for Dina, but Dina not as much, because that’s who Dina’s brain is wired and Becky doesn’t get it, so she thinks it’s her fault and now the second love of her life isn’t going to love her back the way she wants to be.
There’s probably something deeper to look into that Becky has a paralyzing fear of sex at the cost of her immortal soul and her crushing disappointment in not being able to arouse her girlfriend.
Eventually Dina has sex and finds out she isn’t struck by lightning, like, in the holy wrath or in the holy fuck sense. It’s just kinda fun and goofy. She goes on to chill the fuck out
…More seriously someone recently made the point in a comment that the Christian discourse around abstinence might paradoxically paint sex as this super intense urge that everyone experiences and needs to fight mightily against. I think that point was made to explain how come Becky is struggling to get Dina’s asexuality, but it could also apply to Becky’s understanding of her own desires maybe. Not that her being a constantly horny teenager struggling to come to terms with a hyperrepressive upbringing deserves any special explanation.
Yeah my take on Becky is that she has a religious fundie brand paralyzing fear of actual sex, but she still expects to be viewed as a sexual being (for one person, her lifelong wife). Right now Dina is *supposed* to be incredibly forward with Becky as Becky has been with her regarding physical attraction, but Dina’s brain isn’t wired for that kind of expression and that makes Becky blame herself.
CAN YOU STOP BEHAVING LIKE CHILDREN AND GET BACK TOGETHER I NEED ASPIRATIONAL LESBIAN ROMANCE IN MY LIFE RN
JFC, Ruth and Jennifer were your aspirational lesbian romance? Because, and I say this out of concern for you, just no.
Hello, impersonating Becky over here *scoffs*
[In character] IDC THAT YOU GUYS ARE A COUPLE A WALKING DUMPSTER FIRES THAT TURNS INTO A TRAINWRECK OF DUMPSTER FIRES WHEN YOURE TOGETHER I ONLY CARE THAT YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY SUPER DUPER HORNY FOR EACH OTHER NOW MAKE OUT
Jennifer and Ruth finally found something they can agree on: “No bangin’ is a no-no.”
I know that kind of positive thinking. I haven’t had any sex in years and years, but I’m awful in bed anyway, so… WINNING! 🙂
Can’t tell if this is a ace/selfawareness joke or true self depreciation followed by minimizing. In the off chance it is the latter…
It takes two, so you know it wasn’t all on you, right? It takes communication and relearning a new style that accommodates mutual preferences/abilities with each new partner. If you can’t find that balance as a pair, that makes it an incompatibility rather than personal failure. The only way it would have been on you is if you were actively ignoring your partner.
… I know this is a throw away on the internet (with smiley face!), but how I’m reading it is sitting a little off in my brain. If it was just a joke, my bad.
No, Becky! Look away! Never look inwards. NEVER INWARDS!
*phew, close call*
“No one likes a Debbie Downer.”
But apparently, judging by the commentariat here, no one likes the loud and obnoxious cover either.
Judging by comments, no-one likes any of the characters.
Well, by selected comments anyway.
i await the delicious trainwreck
willis dont fail us now
Poor Ruth. She’s so insecure and scared. But don’t want to face it.
Wrong redhead, I think.
Its so strange to me how many people in here have intense feelings about these characters, like frequently being irritated and/or outright upset it seems? I guess I’m an a-something, where “something” stands for that emotional investment in characters in a story? Am I in a majority who just normally isnt moved to leave comments very much? Or is experiencing characters as friends (and foes) the normal, and enjoying their fictional lives without feeling moved to judge them most of the time a quirk? Or are all y’all mostly performing Having Strong Feelings about paper people and I’m just not getting it? It certainly sounds very earnest a lot of the time.
I appreciate your input, *nerd emoji*
Well you’re talking about a subset of the wider audience for DoA who loves it enough to comment on it every day.
Then there’s the daily update schedule, where individual strips and character actions and character arcs over the course of months and years get doled out one page at a time, so if say someone was really cross with Becky for her treatment of Dorothy they had a whole lot of time to read through that with day-long periods of time between updates.
So you’re saying feelings occur because this parasocial connection to the characters has been building up over years and years for old time regulars? That makes sense. I am pretty new here. I even asked how Dina’s name was pronounced, like, last week *facepalm*
Oh dear, not the Dina name question.
You are very lucky, the Willis is a vengeful god with that one. They only show less mercy when someone asks to change the comments to Disqus.
No but yeah we’ve still got a lot of really old hat readers from years and years ago, where actively engaging with the community is part of their experience reading DoA. Add to that we have 24 hours to stew over a particular character interaction and you’ve got the commentariat.
Yes to above, also:
1) catharsis for people who have been in similar situations before.
2) there are a growing number of comics that feature a diverse cast, but this one has been around a long time and permeatations of these characters even longer. If you are in a minority who rarely sees realistic representation, it’s natutal to be invested in how those parts of your identity are being protrayed. It is powerful to find a character you identity with, or even dislike due to their foibles rather than only seeing reduced tolkienized nods.
3) the nature of Fandom itself. People get invested when something touches them and helps cement their identity regardless of what it was. Whether it’s acceptance, the community, an understanding of self, a development of a moral. This comic presents just as many of these issues as any book, movie, parent, friend and that is important to many.
Oh wow great points, thank you both. I’m a freak in my own ways, like, aren’t we all, but I definitely am not at a loss for good fictional representation as badly as most, being a white cis dude and all.
..Actually I do know the sort of emotions you describe, I get that way about a certain sort of confidently androgynous and vulnerable male character, so I do get what you’re saying and all of a sudden i’m feeling very silly about my tone-deaf comment haha
When you accepted the Lucy grav, you embarked upon a fearsome journey. I know I speak for many when I wish you strength and wisdom.
Haha I guess i did sort of accept her in a “sure why not” lazy ass sort of way but she’s been growing on me ^^
You know how some people get really invested in soap operas, watching them every day for years, getting upset over characters’ seemingly inconsequential actions?
That’s us.
And you know how ridiculous that seems to a new viewer who’s only seen about 10 minutes of actual story progress over a couple weeks, and still piecing the characters and their intertwined stories and relationships together?
That’s you, for now anyway.
Don’t worry about it. Ignore jerks who yell at for asking questions. Read a few back chapters. You will be assimilated. Gooble-gobble, one of us. One of us. We’ll have you yelling at the screen and damning Willis before you know it! 😀
Awww thank you Needfuldoer, that’s sweet ✨ listen i’m acquainted with the whole comic already, i’ve recently embarked on my second read, i’ve been following it silently for maybe a couple years now. i’m just new to the commenting scene ^^
But youre right, im now sure its only a matter of days (…comic time) before I get as heavily invested in the lives of these goofballs as any one of you!
Great touch from Willis showing Becky’s voice get ever slightly quieter, bit by bit, in the font size, during her crisis.
To heck with Future Me, he’s had it out for me ever since he started getting fat.
Hahaa, sucks to be you, Future Becky! Past Becky’s got it allll figured out.
Past Becky, sowing: Haha fuck yes. This rocks.
Future Beck, reaping: Well this sucks. What the fuck.
RELATABLE
whew, denial much?
Aw, Becky, no…
– Don’t project your insecurities on other people.
– Just because Dina’s not champing at the bit to get in your pants, that doesn’t mean she’s any less into you as you are her. It’s a spectrum, not a toggle switch.
😂
Is that a reaction to “chomping at the bit to get into your pants”? Because same, that is a hilarious mental image xD
I’m not sure if that misspelling of the idiom is intentional considering the context but hey it probably still works!
“Chomping” is a corruption that gained popular use over time.
https://www.npr.org/sections/memmos/2016/06/09/605796769/chew-on-this-is-it-chomping-or-champing
Ooh cool article, I didn’t mean to take a stand on the issue by misquoting the OP I just responded quickly without a reread and for me its always been “chomping” bc yeah thats more graphic than the obsolete “champing” (full disclosure I’d never paid attention to the distinction and if pressed would’ve guessed that “champing” was a typo), but ty for edifying me ^^
Ruth’s face in that last pannel is priceless. My face is her face after yesterday. And her meds are working so well. Becky still has femurs!
My dislike of Becky grows more and more with each passing day.
I haven’t seen a Sal avatar here in forever. Does anyone else find that suspicious?
Damn You Willis.
did we figure out if dina wasn’t somewhat autistic?
Although it seems in-universe no one has either
Not autistic, but unrelated to her cognitive ability, she’s gray-ace, meaning some degree asexual, and that’s the complication Becky was refering to. Becky is very much a sexual being, but is inhibited by her continued faith in her childhood doctrine against the premarital of hankies-panky. (and possibly hairy hand habits under the same umbrella)
So she is devoid of ANY method of releasing her sexual tension? That can’t end well…
Um, speak for yourself. I think Dina is more aware than most of us.
Uh… I was talking about Becky?
What does autism have to do with her cognitive ability? I’m autistic and my cognitive ability is just fine thank you very much.
Here’s the official word over on the Dumblr: Short answer, yeah probably.
https://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/124121859452/hi-willis-community-clips-are-great-and-all-but#notes
When something bothers Becky, she starts bothering everyone around her.
Somebody needs to get that woman some hardcore therapy
I’d ask “which one”, but all three answers would be correct.
These poor kids. 🙁
She is annoying the shit out of Billie, and I’m so here for it
Argh, Becky!! You’ve had months to learn how to read the room of modern society and learn where your opinions are not wanted and are crossing boundaries! Also, months of learning about your girlfriend’s intimate nuances. Come on.
I definitely get that what Dina says certainly points to saying she’s ace (or something under the umbrella of the same name – but it’s not my place to assume). But she also said she WAS turned on (by Becky, or by Science?), but Joe’s mouth-running was a complete turn-off, and then said she’s totally up for boning Becky whenever she’s ready and when they’re both in the mood.
I’m asexual, but I ASSUME most people of other sexualities aren’t, as Becky said, “bucketin’ water” for other people 24 hours, and have some sense of sexual decorum in public, or, ya know… think about school and friends and hobbies and other things besides fuckin’ sometimes!
All I heard was Louise from Bob’s Burger monologue about the light inside her dying haha
Side note though: I don’t know what the fuck happened between them but I know that Asher is certainly not what I would consider “healthy and stable”
Maybe we introduce Becky to Daisy, and Dina/Becky/Daisy form a polyamorous Vee. I ship it!
BECKS. Becky. Dina loves you, dumbass. I know it’s a validation thing and I want to hug you but it’s GONNA BE OKAY.
Now stop trying to intervene in the horrible garbage fire that is Jennifer x Ruth: The Doom Boat