Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Edison Rex
Chris Roberson
The adventures of the world’s greatest villain who, after defeating his superheroic nemesis, decides that he’s the only one left to defend the world.
Quick$ilver
Crypto
The flirtatious, directionless, and ever disastrous Luci searches for excitement in a life of crime, and finds himself caught in a web of messy romance and bad blood.
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Freakshow
Scotty
A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
Kochab
Sarah Webb
A YA F/F fantasy comic about Sonya, a lost skier trying to survive a snowy wilderness and find her way back to her village; and Kyra - a fire spirit trying to fix the home that she let fall apart around her.
Blindsprings
Kadi Fedoruk
Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Aquapunk
Lo
In an underwater world of unknown coordinates, inhabited by aliens, ghosts, and robots, a young member of a warrior underclass is framed for a crime and goes on the run. Little does he know he is part of a grand design that only gods and ancestors could choreograph.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Little Tiny Things
Clover
What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Scape
Lauren
Sula has always preferred to forge her own path, but before she knows it, she is pulled into the middle of a civil war between man and monster!
Headless Bliss
Clover
A story about story-telling, and other metaphysical themes such as Nightmares! (Failed) Teamwork! Comedy! And more!
Sakana
Mad Rupert
Our heroes must navigate a hazardous dating scene, overcome personal anxieties, and wrangle unruly seafood in order to find love, peace of mind, and a paycheck.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
Scotty
Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Missing Monday
Elle Skinner
Two girls fall in love through a magic door connecting their worlds. When Monday suddenly goes missing, it's up to Foyle to find her. How she's going to navigate an entirely unfamiliar world is another matter.
Widdershins
Kate Ashwin
A series of light-hearted Victorian-era adventure stories featuring grumpy bounty hunters, accidental thiefkings, and more, in England's magical capital city Widdershins!
Astral Aves
Moon Cabal
A fantasy coming-of-age following the adventures of Astra The Black and friends, as they navigate the mysterious world around them. It's politics, adventure, and the supernatural; oh, and crazy hair.
Darkling Bright
Chris Hazelton
Kieran Bright is a college student home for the summer and roped into an online reunion with his old neighborhood friends in the most recent update of their favorite childhood MMORPG.
At least, he was, and that was the idea...
Join Kieran and his friends as they are pulled into another reality that may or may not be real and are forced to confront their own identities, the nature of simulated universes and reality itself.
Sister Claire
Yamino
In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
This is Not Fiction
Nicole Mannino
What do you do when the person you're in-love with is an anonymous romance novelist? Get your best friend to hire your worst enemy for help!
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
The Weave
Rennie Kingsley
A young woman pursued by bad luck is witness to the murder of the Fairy Queen of Summer. Can she get to the bottom of this mystery?
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
Lies Within
Lacey
Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
The Substitutes
Myisha Haynes
What happens when three roommates accidentally acquire otherworldly and powerful magic weapons destined for someone else?
Ride or Die
Mars Heyward
Ride or Die is an LGBTQ webcomic about two street racers who team up with a demon-possessed muscle car in the search for a missing woman, while being hunted by a deadly religious cult.
Gzhel Guardian
Atla Hrafney, nushanchel
The Railway World is a complex, mysterious network of trains, towns and mechanical monsters. Leo is a Guardian of one of these towns, and although their burn-out and depression has taken hold of them, they have one last job to finish.
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
Within
Verena Loisel
A young hitman meanders between a reality that seems to happen without him, and his dreams where he is lost in an endless house. When he makes an accidental friend, his world is shaken up and he realizes there are things he can't remember about himself.
The Last Diplomat
Cat Farris
Samma and Tark didn't ask to be stuck together, but now they're partners on the adventure of a lifetime.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Augustine
Winter Jay Kiakas, Windy
August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Sleepless Domain
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
The End
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Two aliens crash a sci-fi convention and accidentally take seven nerds on an adventure that spans the galaxy!
Alexander, The Servant & The Water of Life
Reimena Yee
The 21st century retelling of the life and legends of Alexander the Great.
Trying Human
IntroducingEmy
Two women separated by over half a century are brought together by an alien-filled conspiracy involving murder, mystery and romance!
The Forgotten Order
Christy
A young witch for whom every spell is a misfire finds solace and friendship in her new companion - a cursed doll.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Namesake
Isa, Meg
There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
Not Drunk Enough
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Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Saint for Rent
Ru Xu
Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
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I’m p sure my li’l bro is why my folks calmed the fuck down about anything I ever pulled
granted I had basically moved out by then but STILL
(tbf my folks only TRULY got mad at me once, over being naive about PETA, which I had a feeling about but really should have guessed since my now-retired dad was a research scientist but my judgement was iffy as a kid [not like it’s THAT much better now lol but I try to plan better in case of failure these days])
Cue massive John Wick style action sequence where Sal takes on the entire Korean mafia, finally meets up with the leader, and then pointedly fills out a complaint card, puts it in his shirt pocket, and then smokebombs away.
Through a complex series of thought adventures, this gave me the image of Gramps being so impressed by Sal he tries to set her up with Asher. Through comical but very mobster hijinks, obviously.
He pulled the fire alarm (due to being blackmailed,) but did not know what Blaine had planned and was told it didn’t involve violence. Though whether or not Asher believed that is a VERY good question.
Hasn’t been firmly established. Ruth’s suplex line seems to be indicating it’s the day after, Sarah implying the worst part of her day yesterday was dealing with her parents kind of suggests more than a day (unless that was a DAMN unpleasant set of talks, which is entirely plausible when you’re already sleep-deprived and out of emotional bandwidth. Still, she saw a dude get murdered.)
Either way, ‘dealing with an abusive parent immediately going On Her Shit in a way you’re only now beginning to grasp with the benefit of distance and actually seeing the other person who lived through it for the first time in five years is in fact DEEPLY fucked up’ is pretty much the bottom of the list of things I’d want to do after being kidnapped and one of my kidnappers murdering the other one.
Shame Mike’s in a coma. Linda is just the sort of situation his brand of assholery tanking could be useful for.
I took it as Sarah indeed comparing seeing her parents separately to being kidnapped and concluding that it was worse than being kidnapped, in a snide way.
I think the point was that Sarah found dealing with her concerned and comforting parents worse than being kidnapped and witnessing a murder. Because that’s extremely in character
Well, we don’t know to what extent her parents were concerned and comforting or how effective they were at it.
Could be they’re the type where you wind up having to comfort them more than they comfort you. Which is exhausting, when you’re already overwhelmed yourself.
Aw. They’re actually starting to mend their relationship. Hopefully this semi-sweetness helps us weather the absolute emotional fuckparade of an aftermath going down.
If it’s the same ad I’m seeing (for something called “Klarna”), it is just a little bit on the creepy side. Unless it’s supposed to be a reference to the 2007 film “Lars and the Real Girl”, in which case it’s DOUBLE creepy.
For some reason I keep getting Trump ads (often masquerading as “polls”) pretty much everywhere I go. I’m not sure I like what that says about my Google search history.
I think/hope that it means that The Algorthm isn’t yet as foolproof/discerning as its going to be eventually, which I think/hope is good: keep it guessing!
Can we elect Mike with a write-in vote? That would Really drain the swamp. Also, In a coma? Yeah I think, Mike, Is better. I like, Mike, much better than being in a (Mike)
There’s also Trump University. Never forget Trump University.
(And, of course, the electoral college, but that’s not so much cheating as winning thanks to the system. As someone from Canada, all I can say is “Great, another reason for people to look at how things are here and go “Yeah, they’re not ideal, but at least they’re not as bad as in the States…”)
And thanks to the clown in charge of our country and trade negotiations, a side helping of “please don’t let us become as bad as the United States…” Most people I know like our food standards, for instance (unchlorinated chicken is the one we hear about most frequently, but also including places of origin, transparent nutritional and ingredients info, not including corn syrup as an ingredient in pretty much all foods, etc…)
E-tailors are great, though. They make sure the middle line doesn’t extend too far, and get the curl to end just right so you don’t get too much of a circle.
Though there was one I used to go to that tried to sell me weirdly proportioned lowercase E-s. Turns out the crook was getting cheap schwa-s and flipping them upside-down, trying to pass them off as first quality e-s. They lost my business and got a 1-star review.
Aw, I was hoping this would happen.
What Walky did was a pretty important step, even if it wasn’t a huge one. Sal realizes this. And I knew that it wasn’t big enough to warrant a hug…
That meant “thanks” was the only thing left. Good to know that some times, you can predict what will happen, be right, and just enjoy the feel good result.
I can’t tell if Sal serious with her thanks or not, but I’m going to work under the assumption she is. In which case, it’s good to see Walky and Sal getting along.
Now what are Linda and Charles saying while they’re gone? And is Linda going to really try to get Amber expelled?
I think she’s being serious, yeah. Sal and Walky have been getting along better lately, and like she says, they’re not a hugging family. So I think she’s being sincere.
Sal – Guessing so? Walky in particular has been trying to reach out and do better with Sal for a while now, and Sal’s been aware of it. Also, Linda is REALLY GOOD at making her children feel like garbage and Sal knows that too, so she’s probably aware it took some effort.
Linda – Given past events (stealing money to try and force Sal to abandon her best friend, sending Sal states away and never visiting after the convenience store,) ‘get rid of whatever is bothering me’ seems to be a strategy she uses on occasion. Plus, as Walky points out, she used to be married to Dean McHenry and seems to have had an amicable breakup. That is DEFINITELY a connection that is set up in the first act to be leveraged in the third, and ‘try to get one of the kidnapping victims expelled for being kidnapped’ is PRECISELY the level of misuse I’d expect from Linda with it!
I mean, MAYBE she’ll take a minute, cool off, and listen to her kids! And maybe Dexter will burst out of the TV and declare himself the new godking of this planet, and Walky’s knowledge of esoteric Dexter and Monkey Master lore will prove vital to the resistance! Both are about equally likely.
I honestly would be 100% fine with the return of Head Alien and his particular brand of CARTOONISH emotional manipulation games. The cast has even had time to build up some resistance to that shit. Plus, giant robot monkey!
Yeah, at the moment Linda has zero reason to NOT pursue Amber’s expulsion. To her, she’s just the common denominator in her children’s pain (we as readers know that the Walkerton parenting style seems to be the true common denominator, but hey….), and it’s not like either of her kids have put up much of a fight. Sal made a comment that Linda could easily write off as simple sass and then walked away without actually advocating for anything, and Walky only defended Sal’s behavior.
Granted, assuming in the next few strips her kids actually say something approaching “hey, I don’t want you to do that,” she seems to be a bull-dozer of a parent anyway, so I doubt it will matter.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Sal walked away because she knew Linda won’t suddenly start listening to her today of all days. And Walky’s best attempts (‘she’s our friend’ and ‘I’m kind of dating her, maybe?’) would probably both prompt a reaction similar to her one over Marcie. The issue then becomes that the twins are making friends with The Wrong Kind Of People again!
She has a very good reason not to pursue Amber’s expulsion – the kidnapping is not Amber’s fault and it’s shitty human being behaviour to punish someone for something they are not responsible for.
She DID stab Sal five years ago, but that’s not something the school’s going to kick Amber out for. I mean, they’re not kicking Sal out for holding Ethan hostage with a knife so. And Linda didn’t give a rat’s ass about her daughter’s hand if not was actively shitty about it (she doesn’t hide her hand from them for no reason) until it affected Walky.
I think she’s sincere, particularly since she’s the one who brought up Walky ‘breaking ranks’. If he’d come out bragging about sticking up for her, it would’ve been a different story, but it feels like Sal was hopefully reaching for a bit of solidarity from Walky and got more than she expected.
I mean, Walky’s line was literally what I thought reading the strip two days ago. Seriously, Linda, stop being such a Stereotypical Gen Xer White Woman, Asma or someone’s probably writing you up on the campus subreddit as we speak. You’re only embarrassing yourself here.
… Actually, on second thought? Keep at it. Please. I want to see that JustNoCollegeParents post. We already saw on Robin’s Twitter Willis redrawing the Distracted Boyfriend meme for a Tweet that didn’t make it in the thread, I want to see what memes can be applied to Linda.
…..but if your child’s kidnapping from campus isn’t a good enough reason to “speak to a manager,” I don’t know what is? Sure, the specific thing she wants from the Dean is stupid, but the dig here seems to be more about the fact that she’s demanding to speak to the Dean than the fact that she’s got a bad goal in doing so. What halfway decent parent WOULDN’T want to talk to the Dean over something like this?! (Now a good person would be advocating for something like stronger campus safety measures rather than the expulsion of another victim, but no one’s saying Linda doesn’t tip “bad” on the good person scale….)
Yeah… Maybe Linda should talk to Campus Security or to the Provost. Keeping kids safe from kidnapping isn’t really a Dean’s job. If she wants the Dean to expel Amber, maybe she could mention how Amber hacked in and falsified another student’s grades!
I think the “speak to the manager” line has more to do with the WAY she wants to speak with the Dean, and what she’s going to say, rather than the fact of it. The phrase has come to represent a specific sort of entitled, unreasonable complaining. Otherwise, he would have said “talk to the Dean”.
*waves* Hi! I sit on my university’s conduct pool, the body that would actually suspend or expel a student from my university (all public institutions that I know of have one. Don’t know about private unis.). The Dean of Students’ office houses our process, but the actual Dean of Students doesn’t have anything to do with the process.
The only people who can be put through our process are actual students and the person making the complaint must be a member of the university community OR there must be police reporting about that student committing a crime. Because Amber’s dual identity hasn’t been made public to others, they couldn’t get her for assault for her vigilante acts. And we couldn’t act on Blaine kidnapping them to get to her because … no student code alive makes a student responsible for the actions of people who want to harm them via proxy, not even their parents.
It’s a hella Karen move and white, privileged women try to pull shit like this all the time, so we know how to deal with them.
That was how I read it. Didn’t occur to me that he meant the other thing, even metaphorically. If it was that, I certainly hope that he was being Walky’s version of florid.
Kicking out a student for the crime of having been forcibly kidnapped from in front of her dorm is probably not the kind of publicity a university wants
Well, we know the Dean is concerned about what happens inside the dorms (see how he deals with Roz’s video). Maybe he’s less concerned about what happens in the street?
Wait, same girl who slashed up another kid in front of the same dorm not a very long time ago. Hmm. She may start to seem a liability.
A kid who was going to go inside the dorm to slash up a couple of girls – any bad publicity from Amber’s slashing of him would pale by comparison to that from him succeeding.
I’m wondering if Charles is going to be sent out by The Boss to find out where Walky has gone to and wonder what the twins are laughing about. Guess what, away from the parental favouritism, they remembered that they love each other.
Justified it being used for the boarding school maybe? Or maybe she actually gave it back (years too late) and Sal used the money for her tattoo or motorbike?
I’ve been wondering that. Sal was very clear that she bought her motorbike with her own goddamn money, so I wonder if, when she was about to go to college, Linda handed her the money she stole and told her to do something responsible with it, and Sal went “Fuck you” and bought a motorbike instead. (I can’t imagine Linda approves of the motorbike.)
On the other hand, I have a hard time imagining that if Linda gave Sal the money back just before she went to college, Sal didn’t immeidately hand it over to Marcie to use for rent or whatever.
Yeaaaah, I’m betting boarding school. She stole the money as leverage against Sal’s ‘bad behavior’ (hanging out with a friend Linda disapproved of,) she keeps the money because Sal acted even WORSE, she never connects the obvious dots that Sal got involved in convenience store holdups because Linda stole the money.
I wonder how much effort Dean McHenry would put into expelling Amber under certain circumstances.
See, Amber hasn’t (to the knowledge of anyone official, save Ruth) done anything to warrant expulsion. The fight with Sal MIGHT count, though given how they’ve buried the hatchet and no one’s pressing charges that probably wouldn’t be expulsion-territory. AG vigilantism on campus would definitely count (and the administration wouldn’t distinguish between alters), but the only official who knows about it is Ruth and she’s not reporting it. Hacking Walky’s grades would count, but no one knows anything about that. A juvenile offense from 5(?) years ago doesn’t keep a person out of public university, not if they’ve served their time. (And I don’t know if Amber even got time.) Nor do the crimes of a parent.
That said, Dean McHenry might push for expulsion using several illegitimate (or technically legitimate, but against the spirit of the rule) techniques. It’s below the McHenry’s paygrade, but he’s got plenty of ability to interfere. As one example, he could push a media narrative that Amber was a co-conspirator with Blaine, which if true would definitely be grounds to expel her (and also arrest and imprison her). It’d be false, but if the truth could come to light he could step back and say “we may have acted hastily on incomplete information out of an abundance of concern for our students” and not get in any real trouble for it. On the other hand, you’ve got the other five kidnapees (six if you count Dina… though she was never really kidnapped) who would give very credible accounts to the contrary.
I kinda want to see just that sort of thing happen, if only for the look on her face when both Sal and Walky go public in support of Amber. Maybe, say, an evening talk-show interview with all three seated next to the host. Walky and Amber holding hands because of official relationship. First going over the Blaine kidnapping, then going back to the convenience store robbery. Both Sal and Amber saying that what they did was very wrong, but they were stupid kids and they’ve since forgiven each other, and oh btw the reason Sal did it was because she was trying to raise money for her friend’s surgery after LINDA WALKERTON (hi mom) stole what she’d already raised.
It’d be pretty hard for McHenry to keep pushing for expulsion under those circumstances.
My sense for McHenry is that he isn’t going to cave to Linda that easily unless there is some legit path for expelling Amber. But Linda’s definitely prepared to, and I’d guess our gang is going to push back.
It’s kind of appropriate that the July 4th strip, the day when pretty much every town and city in the US is going to be blasting The Star Spangled Banner out of loudspeakers, gives us the setup for the battle of/for McHenry.
You’re forgetting that Amber eviscerated another student, whose parents are currently suing her and her mother for everything they have.
McHenry was also willing to threaten Roz with suspension for using the campus as a porn shoot location (something even Roz had to admit was a good argument). The optics of the university are paramount to him.
Now, Amber slashing GashFace was self-defence — BUT, now Linda come along and informs McHenry that she’s the one who stabbed Sal. Slashed another student + stabbed another now-student 5 years ago = definite liability. Amber apparently isn’t to be trusted around knives. McHenry starts to doubt.
Alright, Amber may have some political support, but it comes from Robyn, and we all know McHenry didn’t vote for her. Who’s he more afraid out, the congresswoman who’s probably about to be voted out, or his ex-wife?
Of course, there are other considerations. All the other kidnap victims speaking up for Amber, for instance, and God knows Leslie will. But she’s a fairly junior member of staff, so how much her opinion will count is up for grabs. But then, there are the parents of the other kidnappees, who may not have Linda’s clout, but McHenry might take into account. Hmm. What are they likely to say?
Stacy: I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!!! DON’T DO ANYTHING TO HER!!!
Deborah and Jeremiah: We love our daughter very much and trust everything she says. Please reconsider. She’ll probably be President someday, and then where will you be?
Naomi: SHE TURNED MY SON GAY I KNEW SHE WAS EVIL GET HER OUT GET HER OUT GET HER OUT AND THEN GET SOMEONE TO FUCK MY SON SO HE CAN KNOCK HER UP AND I CAN HAVE GRANDBABIES!!!
Saul: I know that may sound unpleasant, but just like drinking beer or having sex with women, you could get used to it.
Haruka and Ryou: … [But it is clearly understood that this means that if their daughter is disappointed, McHenry will be fed to the raptor.]
Sarah’s parents: Okay, fine, we have no idea.
Sarah’s Nana: I’VE GOT A FOUR-FOOT LONG DILDO AND I WILL FUCKING USE IT ON YOU, BUSTER!!! NOW DO WHAT MY SARAH SAYS!
Richard: I’M NOT ONE OF THE KIDNAPPEES’ PARENTS BUT I’M BANGING THE MOTHER OF ONE OF THEM AND I AGREE WITH WHAT SHE SAYS!!!
There’s also the possibility that the Ruttens gave a large donation to the university and that’s part of why Carla got to go and stay in the correct dorm (on top of Harrison’s legal chops, of course), and it seems likely that if Carla asks them, they’d rescind the grant. And frankly, the Ruttens’ money probably overweighs Linda’s… Linda-ness.
I STRONGLY suspect that the Ruttens leveraged being The Ruttens to get Carla correctly gendered. Not sure if that was generous donations, threatened legal action with the backing of Ruttech money meaning they can match the university billable hour for billable hour, or some combination therein. Either way, if Carla decides to intervene on Amber’s behalf (though she’d probably be doing it because Sal or Joyce or the like get her involved, Carla only sort of knows Amber at most,) they are ABSOLUTELY bigger fish than Linda.
McHenry would also probably do well to remember GashFace was going to make his way into the dorm to hack up two other girls for reporting him for rape. Punishing Amber for stopping him is PROBABLY not a look McHenry wants either.
Now now, we can’t prove that the nice pastor’s son was going to do that. All we’ve got is the word of two *chuckle* girls, and one of them isn’t that stable — the one who did the slashing, for that matter. He didn’t use the knife. As a matter of fact, can we even prove it was his? Sure, it has both their fingerprints on it, but only one of them got cut — isn’t that suspicious? Honestly, I’m not sure he was armed with anything more than his phone.
Ba-dum-tish! Sorry, that will never stop being funny. And yes, aside from the other girls coming forward in the aftermath, he was apparently stoned to the gills, so it’s kind of hard to make him the victim. Except white pastor’s son!
I can very easily see some asshole trying to frame it that way but Dorothy is pretty reliable and there are cameras on the door. That’s why Amber’s not been arrested and made to prove self-defence thus far.
And it strikes me as appalling that no one else has said this so far, so here goes: most people called Karen are actually very nice, and this particular meme is deeply unfair to them. Just saying.
And no, I don’t just say this because my brother married one and her name’s not Karen.
I know at least one Karen who’s fine with the name being memed on because she gets the phenomenon they’re describing and doesn’t take it personally, but yeah, as someone named Alexa I get the frustration.
Our Google bot has gotten confused and thought I was talking to it when I’ve said things like “Hey cutie” to the kids so I assume you just refuse to be in the same room as an Alexa bot to preserve your sanity?
We do not have an Echo, we will never have an Echo, the one time I was in a house that had one we were all pretty careful to use my name as little as possible and still tagged it at one point by mistake. I hate Jeff Bezos for all the billionaire reasons but also on the purely personal one that even away from them, I still got fairly frequent jokes from strangers (back when, you know, you interacted with strangers on a regular basis) about ‘Alexa, do X.’ Including one from a relative who kept at it after I did the annoyed ‘yeah, never heard that one before.’ (The good news is that my immediate family all get that it’s an Issue and find it about as funny as I do. Both in the ‘ugh, People’ way and in the ‘my name has been coopted by a machine that is so commonplace podcast episodes have to warn if their guest happens to be named that in advance and that is some fucked-up cyberpunk shit’ way. With a side of ‘hey can we all have a talk about the blurring of humanizing bots and dehumanizing people inherent in using human names for these helper AIs, and especially the gendered component of using exclusively female ones and female voices? I feel like this needs to be a talk society has.’)
Also: Yes, I insist on using the speaker itself’s name, not the AI, that distinction never had to be made in the first place.
But yeah, even ignoring the jokes, the other thing I get on a fairly common basis is ‘well, you can just rename it!’ But while you can rename the individual unit, the issue with how SOCIETY AT LARGE associates the name with a speaker, and thus: cyberpunk dystopia bullshit where apparently we can’t use the name in media anymore ever because it might set the speakers off, and that includes anything talking to any of the myriad humans who had this name before the speaker did.
it would be funny if they released it but it was just a cinema painted on the side of a cliff
DiscussingFilm@discussingfilm.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
‘COYOTE VS ACME’ has been officially saved by Ketchup Entertainment, who bought the film for $50M
They plan to give the film a worldwide theatrical release in 2026.
do y'all remember when they found all that tf art in Osamu Tezuka's drawer post-mortem because I think about it often
anyway keep chasing your bliss and draw weird shit, god knows we need that right now
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned that I have to weigh which is worse: the cartoonist already forgetting what this guy looks like one daily strip later, or that, yes, he's actually meant to be an old man, not a victim to an older cartoonist forgetting what young people look like
Like any average American, I’m for universal basic income and abolishing the police. I can’t get on board with these ultra-leftists calling for the universal hive mind, though!
maura quint@mauraquint.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
going to start calling myself a centrist and then listing all my leftist views as proof, just going to start moving the overton window by force
I've spent the past few days reading through the entire archive of @damnyouwillis.bsky.social's Dumbing of Age and this has been stuck in my head for about 90% of that time.
DiscussingFilm @discussingfilm.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
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Comms Open
I’m p sure my li’l bro is why my folks calmed the fuck down about anything I ever pulled
granted I had basically moved out by then but STILL
(tbf my folks only TRULY got mad at me once, over being naive about PETA, which I had a feeling about but really should have guessed since my now-retired dad was a research scientist but my judgement was iffy as a kid [not like it’s THAT much better now lol but I try to plan better in case of failure these days])
Holy shit, the comic is titled “Karen”.
Was “manager” used elsewhere?
Twice https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/manager/
here’s the second one https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/03-sometimes-the-sky-was-so-far-away/manager-2/
Is her actual name still “Linda”?
My headcanon’s going with “Linda Karen Walkerton” as her full name until it’s told otherwise.
I’m betting the word “Karen” was used in an earlier draft. We’ve had titles like that happen before.
I think he meant it, because of the “speak to the manager” Karen meme.
Hm, does Walky know how to do his laundry?
I mean, they’ve been at school for a couple of months now…
(Remembers college)
…so call it 50/50.
Can? Maybe. Will? 50/50. If pressured to do so.
Haven’t they only been at school like 45 days? I’ve lost track of Dumbiverse time… You hardly ever see a calendar.
Knowing and doing are two different things.
Sure, just toss clothes in washer and add detergent, and wait for that red flannel shirt to turn your undies pink.
Maybe she should talk to the kidnapper’s manager instead.
Cue massive John Wick style action sequence where Sal takes on the entire Korean mafia, finally meets up with the leader, and then pointedly fills out a complaint card, puts it in his shirt pocket, and then smokebombs away.
Through a complex series of thought adventures, this gave me the image of Gramps being so impressed by Sal he tries to set her up with Asher. Through comical but very mobster hijinks, obviously.
Somebody has to write that, would pay good money!
oh, yeah, Asher, we haven’t seen him that night right ? He probably helped hire the goons but didn’t participate personally ?
I think all he did was pulling the fire alarm.
He pulled the fire alarm (due to being blackmailed,) but did not know what Blaine had planned and was told it didn’t involve violence. Though whether or not Asher believed that is a VERY good question.
I want to read that!
I don’t know if it’s a good thing to get involved with the Korean mafia boss
Worked out for Blaine! (Until recently, at least.)
Meh. This will be the second time Walky has had to change his pants in as many days.
Actually I might be wrong. I think a day has passed since the kidnapping right? So three days.
Hasn’t been firmly established. Ruth’s suplex line seems to be indicating it’s the day after, Sarah implying the worst part of her day yesterday was dealing with her parents kind of suggests more than a day (unless that was a DAMN unpleasant set of talks, which is entirely plausible when you’re already sleep-deprived and out of emotional bandwidth. Still, she saw a dude get murdered.)
Either way, ‘dealing with an abusive parent immediately going On Her Shit in a way you’re only now beginning to grasp with the benefit of distance and actually seeing the other person who lived through it for the first time in five years is in fact DEEPLY fucked up’ is pretty much the bottom of the list of things I’d want to do after being kidnapped and one of my kidnappers murdering the other one.
Shame Mike’s in a coma. Linda is just the sort of situation his brand of assholery tanking could be useful for.
I took it as Sarah indeed comparing seeing her parents separately to being kidnapped and concluding that it was worse than being kidnapped, in a snide way.
That was my take, too.
I’d have upvoted you… if I could.
I think the point was that Sarah found dealing with her concerned and comforting parents worse than being kidnapped and witnessing a murder. Because that’s extremely in character
Well, we don’t know to what extent her parents were concerned and comforting or how effective they were at it.
Could be they’re the type where you wind up having to comfort them more than they comfort you. Which is exhausting, when you’re already overwhelmed yourself.
Sibling relationships are the weirdest and greatest in fiction.
Especially when they’re shown realistically.
I know, right! I was just thinking that Willis did a really good job with them here.
Aw. They’re actually starting to mend their relationship. Hopefully this semi-sweetness helps us weather the absolute emotional fuckparade of an aftermath going down.
Today’s strip is sponsored by a clothing e-tailer. Which I guess is better than an e-tailor.
If it’s the same ad I’m seeing (for something called “Klarna”), it is just a little bit on the creepy side. Unless it’s supposed to be a reference to the 2007 film “Lars and the Real Girl”, in which case it’s DOUBLE creepy.
Plays “Last Dance with Mary Jane” on the hacked Muzak for that ad.
Ugh, I’m getting a Trump ad in the top banner. You’d think they’d be blocked on this site…
For some reason I keep getting Trump ads (often masquerading as “polls”) pretty much everywhere I go. I’m not sure I like what that says about my Google search history.
I think/hope that it means that The Algorthm isn’t yet as foolproof/discerning as its going to be eventually, which I think/hope is good: keep it guessing!
it probably means you’ve been spending WAY too much time looking at political content.
I think those polls are tracking traps
and an excuse to target those who clearly aren’t interested.
Can we elect Mike with a write-in vote? That would Really drain the swamp. Also, In a coma? Yeah I think, Mike, Is better. I like, Mike, much better than being in a (Mike)
They are. Trump ads cheat by categorizing themselves as other kinds of ads.
Have to admit, that’s pretty on-brand for him…
Huh.
And here I thought Trump cheated by courting porn stars and Playboy models and committing sexual harassment.
That’s just one definition of ‘cheating’ that fits him.
“Cheat your way up by claiming to be something you’re not” has been his M.O. for decades.
There’s also Trump University. Never forget Trump University.
(And, of course, the electoral college, but that’s not so much cheating as winning thanks to the system. As someone from Canada, all I can say is “Great, another reason for people to look at how things are here and go “Yeah, they’re not ideal, but at least they’re not as bad as in the States…”)
Tales of Trump University is a comic waiting to happen
It’s not just us Brits who do that?
And thanks to the clown in charge of our country and trade negotiations, a side helping of “please don’t let us become as bad as the United States…” Most people I know like our food standards, for instance (unchlorinated chicken is the one we hear about most frequently, but also including places of origin, transparent nutritional and ingredients info, not including corn syrup as an ingredient in pretty much all foods, etc…)
the wonderfulness of corn syrup is evidenced by their producers’ attempts to rename it “corn sugar”
E-tailors are great, though. They make sure the middle line doesn’t extend too far, and get the curl to end just right so you don’t get too much of a circle.
Though there was one I used to go to that tried to sell me weirdly proportioned lowercase E-s. Turns out the crook was getting cheap schwa-s and flipping them upside-down, trying to pass them off as first quality e-s. They lost my business and got a 1-star review.
Aw, I was hoping this would happen.
What Walky did was a pretty important step, even if it wasn’t a huge one. Sal realizes this. And I knew that it wasn’t big enough to warrant a hug…
That meant “thanks” was the only thing left. Good to know that some times, you can predict what will happen, be right, and just enjoy the feel good result.
Then, again, that hug was never going to happen: they never were a hugging family
Yeah, I figure a hug will come from something really big if it happens. I dunno what it could be, but it’d be big.
Joyce meddling
I can’t tell if Sal serious with her thanks or not, but I’m going to work under the assumption she is. In which case, it’s good to see Walky and Sal getting along.
Now what are Linda and Charles saying while they’re gone? And is Linda going to really try to get Amber expelled?
I think Sal’s a little surprised.
I think she’s being serious, yeah. Sal and Walky have been getting along better lately, and like she says, they’re not a hugging family. So I think she’s being sincere.
Sal – Guessing so? Walky in particular has been trying to reach out and do better with Sal for a while now, and Sal’s been aware of it. Also, Linda is REALLY GOOD at making her children feel like garbage and Sal knows that too, so she’s probably aware it took some effort.
Linda – Given past events (stealing money to try and force Sal to abandon her best friend, sending Sal states away and never visiting after the convenience store,) ‘get rid of whatever is bothering me’ seems to be a strategy she uses on occasion. Plus, as Walky points out, she used to be married to Dean McHenry and seems to have had an amicable breakup. That is DEFINITELY a connection that is set up in the first act to be leveraged in the third, and ‘try to get one of the kidnapping victims expelled for being kidnapped’ is PRECISELY the level of misuse I’d expect from Linda with it!
I mean, MAYBE she’ll take a minute, cool off, and listen to her kids! And maybe Dexter will burst out of the TV and declare himself the new godking of this planet, and Walky’s knowledge of esoteric Dexter and Monkey Master lore will prove vital to the resistance! Both are about equally likely.
I want Walky to have that dream now. Willis, if you’re ever in need of a nonsensical dream, this is the one.
I honestly would be 100% fine with the return of Head Alien and his particular brand of CARTOONISH emotional manipulation games. The cast has even had time to build up some resistance to that shit. Plus, giant robot monkey!
Not having been routinely tortured by the aliens as children might just help with the whole mental resilience towards their tricks thing, methinks…
Yeah, at the moment Linda has zero reason to NOT pursue Amber’s expulsion. To her, she’s just the common denominator in her children’s pain (we as readers know that the Walkerton parenting style seems to be the true common denominator, but hey….), and it’s not like either of her kids have put up much of a fight. Sal made a comment that Linda could easily write off as simple sass and then walked away without actually advocating for anything, and Walky only defended Sal’s behavior.
Granted, assuming in the next few strips her kids actually say something approaching “hey, I don’t want you to do that,” she seems to be a bull-dozer of a parent anyway, so I doubt it will matter.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Sal walked away because she knew Linda won’t suddenly start listening to her today of all days. And Walky’s best attempts (‘she’s our friend’ and ‘I’m kind of dating her, maybe?’) would probably both prompt a reaction similar to her one over Marcie. The issue then becomes that the twins are making friends with The Wrong Kind Of People again!
Uuuugh, Linda.
She has a very good reason not to pursue Amber’s expulsion – the kidnapping is not Amber’s fault and it’s shitty human being behaviour to punish someone for something they are not responsible for.
She DID stab Sal five years ago, but that’s not something the school’s going to kick Amber out for. I mean, they’re not kicking Sal out for holding Ethan hostage with a knife so. And Linda didn’t give a rat’s ass about her daughter’s hand if not was actively shitty about it (she doesn’t hide her hand from them for no reason) until it affected Walky.
Linda isn’t exactly showing much interest in her children’s pain.
And they both made it clear they don’t want her to. Well, Walky expressed shock at her conclusion, but close enough.
I think she’s sincere, particularly since she’s the one who brought up Walky ‘breaking ranks’. If he’d come out bragging about sticking up for her, it would’ve been a different story, but it feels like Sal was hopefully reaching for a bit of solidarity from Walky and got more than she expected.
Took me 2 or 3 reads to realize the “manager” Walky is talking about is the Dean.
I was also confused, and was pretty sure it wouldn’t have been The Blaine.
THAT TITLE THOUGH.
And good brothering, Walky. With stuff like this, you’ll steadily improve your grade.
I mean, Walky’s line was literally what I thought reading the strip two days ago. Seriously, Linda, stop being such a Stereotypical Gen Xer White Woman, Asma or someone’s probably writing you up on the campus subreddit as we speak. You’re only embarrassing yourself here.
… Actually, on second thought? Keep at it. Please. I want to see that JustNoCollegeParents post. We already saw on Robin’s Twitter Willis redrawing the Distracted Boyfriend meme for a Tweet that didn’t make it in the thread, I want to see what memes can be applied to Linda.
We did end up seeing that meme in-comic, here: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/03-sometimes-the-sky-was-so-far-away/orangeone/
Oh, right! The one at the end of the Kidnapping Thread was just repurposed after the art already existed!
If you can’t stand up for your twin, who can you stand up for?
lot of… ellipses in this comic.
(and awkward pauses in the conversation.)
Woo! Awkward rekindling of a strained sibling relationship!
Awkward rekindling of a strained sibling relationship!
… Pat, pat.
Pat, pat
I think the Walkerton twins would do well in Gravity Falls
…..but if your child’s kidnapping from campus isn’t a good enough reason to “speak to a manager,” I don’t know what is? Sure, the specific thing she wants from the Dean is stupid, but the dig here seems to be more about the fact that she’s demanding to speak to the Dean than the fact that she’s got a bad goal in doing so. What halfway decent parent WOULDN’T want to talk to the Dean over something like this?! (Now a good person would be advocating for something like stronger campus safety measures rather than the expulsion of another victim, but no one’s saying Linda doesn’t tip “bad” on the good person scale….)
Yeah… Maybe Linda should talk to Campus Security or to the Provost. Keeping kids safe from kidnapping isn’t really a Dean’s job. If she wants the Dean to expel Amber, maybe she could mention how Amber hacked in and falsified another student’s grades!
She could’ve hugged her kids, asked how they were, and listened to them, first. I think the Walkertons missed that step.
I think the “speak to the manager” line has more to do with the WAY she wants to speak with the Dean, and what she’s going to say, rather than the fact of it. The phrase has come to represent a specific sort of entitled, unreasonable complaining. Otherwise, he would have said “talk to the Dean”.
*waves* Hi! I sit on my university’s conduct pool, the body that would actually suspend or expel a student from my university (all public institutions that I know of have one. Don’t know about private unis.). The Dean of Students’ office houses our process, but the actual Dean of Students doesn’t have anything to do with the process.
The only people who can be put through our process are actual students and the person making the complaint must be a member of the university community OR there must be police reporting about that student committing a crime. Because Amber’s dual identity hasn’t been made public to others, they couldn’t get her for assault for her vigilante acts. And we couldn’t act on Blaine kidnapping them to get to her because … no student code alive makes a student responsible for the actions of people who want to harm them via proxy, not even their parents.
It’s a hella Karen move and white, privileged women try to pull shit like this all the time, so we know how to deal with them.
*virtual applause*
Things have improved since I was at University. I checked and this is now more common.
We did not know about that last part, Walky.
and we did not NEED to know about that last part either. Not knowing about it was great.
That’s our Walky, always giving us pertinent information.
Is “Soiled” always used in the literal sence of “having pissed your pants”? Not a native english speaker here.
It could also be a case of feeling soiled I guess so no, not always literally.
Thanks!
That was how I read it. Didn’t occur to me that he meant the other thing, even metaphorically. If it was that, I certainly hope that he was being Walky’s version of florid.
I took it as similar to Roy saying to Belkar “Your approval fills me with shame.”
I interpreted ‘soiled’ as meaning that he hasn’t changed his pants in several weeks, and they’re starting to get really uncomfortable.
I can’t wait for the dean to flat out reject Linda’s plan to kick out Amber. Even if they are friendly exes, there’s no way he’d do this, right?
…right?
… right?
Not until Robin publicly comes out to acclaim Amber, Sal, Dorothy and Joyce as ‘true American heroes’. Then they’ll be untouchable.
Kicking out a student for the crime of having been forcibly kidnapped from in front of her dorm is probably not the kind of publicity a university wants
Well, we know the Dean is concerned about what happens inside the dorms (see how he deals with Roz’s video). Maybe he’s less concerned about what happens in the street?
Wait, same girl who slashed up another kid in front of the same dorm not a very long time ago. Hmm. She may start to seem a liability.
A kid who was going to go inside the dorm to slash up a couple of girls – any bad publicity from Amber’s slashing of him would pale by comparison to that from him succeeding.
God I’m getting flashbacks to me and MY sister…
I’m wondering if Charles is going to be sent out by The Boss to find out where Walky has gone to and wonder what the twins are laughing about. Guess what, away from the parental favouritism, they remembered that they love each other.
Since we’re still on the subject did Linda ever give Sal back that 200 dollars she stole?
Worse, it was $700.
What the hell did she even do with that?
Justified it being used for the boarding school maybe? Or maybe she actually gave it back (years too late) and Sal used the money for her tattoo or motorbike?
I’ve been wondering that. Sal was very clear that she bought her motorbike with her own goddamn money, so I wonder if, when she was about to go to college, Linda handed her the money she stole and told her to do something responsible with it, and Sal went “Fuck you” and bought a motorbike instead. (I can’t imagine Linda approves of the motorbike.)
On the other hand, I have a hard time imagining that if Linda gave Sal the money back just before she went to college, Sal didn’t immeidately hand it over to Marcie to use for rent or whatever.
Yeaaaah, I’m betting boarding school. She stole the money as leverage against Sal’s ‘bad behavior’ (hanging out with a friend Linda disapproved of,) she keeps the money because Sal acted even WORSE, she never connects the obvious dots that Sal got involved in convenience store holdups because Linda stole the money.
My hero!
It could also be a case of feeling soiled I guess so no, not always literally.
Gee, Walky, we already know you’re the lighter-complexioned twin, you don’t have to bring it up again… /s
He means he pissed himself… a bit
I’m not sure what Walky means by “I’m lightly soiled”, and I’m not sure if I want to know.
oh, he means he almost shat his pants. Took me way too long to understand
Gee Walky, be careful, you might strain yourself from showing compassion to your sister.
Don’t think he strained himself. Pretty sure his bladder (or possibly bowels) just went loose of their own accord.
Not sure how he’s being uncompassionate here? If you’re expecting something big and feelingsy you’re not gonna get it from these twins
I vote for the Keeners, the Saruyamas, and the Warners to get joint custody of all the cast members with bad parents.
Hank can maybe have supervised visits, if Joyce says it’s okay.
Noooooo, not the Warners! The mom’s a hug monster with no sense of boundaries D:
Sure, but she and the Saruyamas probably cancel each other out.
The Ruttens should get to adopt too. According to Carla, they’re great.
He’s lightly soiled from this.
But he is heavily soiled from earlier.
I just hope Amber will not be expelled.
“Lightly soiled” explains some of his incredible expressions in the last strip.
The following is probably not a great plan, but…
I wonder how much effort Dean McHenry would put into expelling Amber under certain circumstances.
See, Amber hasn’t (to the knowledge of anyone official, save Ruth) done anything to warrant expulsion. The fight with Sal MIGHT count, though given how they’ve buried the hatchet and no one’s pressing charges that probably wouldn’t be expulsion-territory. AG vigilantism on campus would definitely count (and the administration wouldn’t distinguish between alters), but the only official who knows about it is Ruth and she’s not reporting it. Hacking Walky’s grades would count, but no one knows anything about that. A juvenile offense from 5(?) years ago doesn’t keep a person out of public university, not if they’ve served their time. (And I don’t know if Amber even got time.) Nor do the crimes of a parent.
That said, Dean McHenry might push for expulsion using several illegitimate (or technically legitimate, but against the spirit of the rule) techniques. It’s below the McHenry’s paygrade, but he’s got plenty of ability to interfere. As one example, he could push a media narrative that Amber was a co-conspirator with Blaine, which if true would definitely be grounds to expel her (and also arrest and imprison her). It’d be false, but if the truth could come to light he could step back and say “we may have acted hastily on incomplete information out of an abundance of concern for our students” and not get in any real trouble for it. On the other hand, you’ve got the other five kidnapees (six if you count Dina… though she was never really kidnapped) who would give very credible accounts to the contrary.
I kinda want to see just that sort of thing happen, if only for the look on her face when both Sal and Walky go public in support of Amber. Maybe, say, an evening talk-show interview with all three seated next to the host. Walky and Amber holding hands because of official relationship. First going over the Blaine kidnapping, then going back to the convenience store robbery. Both Sal and Amber saying that what they did was very wrong, but they were stupid kids and they’ve since forgiven each other, and oh btw the reason Sal did it was because she was trying to raise money for her friend’s surgery after LINDA WALKERTON (hi mom) stole what she’d already raised.
It’d be pretty hard for McHenry to keep pushing for expulsion under those circumstances.
My sense for McHenry is that he isn’t going to cave to Linda that easily unless there is some legit path for expelling Amber. But Linda’s definitely prepared to, and I’d guess our gang is going to push back.
It’s kind of appropriate that the July 4th strip, the day when pretty much every town and city in the US is going to be blasting The Star Spangled Banner out of loudspeakers, gives us the setup for the battle of/for McHenry.
….
*flees for dear punning life*
You’re forgetting that Amber eviscerated another student, whose parents are currently suing her and her mother for everything they have.
McHenry was also willing to threaten Roz with suspension for using the campus as a porn shoot location (something even Roz had to admit was a good argument). The optics of the university are paramount to him.
Now, Amber slashing GashFace was self-defence — BUT, now Linda come along and informs McHenry that she’s the one who stabbed Sal. Slashed another student + stabbed another now-student 5 years ago = definite liability. Amber apparently isn’t to be trusted around knives. McHenry starts to doubt.
Alright, Amber may have some political support, but it comes from Robyn, and we all know McHenry didn’t vote for her. Who’s he more afraid out, the congresswoman who’s probably about to be voted out, or his ex-wife?
Of course, there are other considerations. All the other kidnap victims speaking up for Amber, for instance, and God knows Leslie will. But she’s a fairly junior member of staff, so how much her opinion will count is up for grabs. But then, there are the parents of the other kidnappees, who may not have Linda’s clout, but McHenry might take into account. Hmm. What are they likely to say?
Stacy: I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!!! DON’T DO ANYTHING TO HER!!!
Deborah and Jeremiah: We love our daughter very much and trust everything she says. Please reconsider. She’ll probably be President someday, and then where will you be?
Naomi: SHE TURNED MY SON GAY I KNEW SHE WAS EVIL GET HER OUT GET HER OUT GET HER OUT AND THEN GET SOMEONE TO FUCK MY SON SO HE CAN KNOCK HER UP AND I CAN HAVE GRANDBABIES!!!
Saul: I know that may sound unpleasant, but just like drinking beer or having sex with women, you could get used to it.
Haruka and Ryou: … [But it is clearly understood that this means that if their daughter is disappointed, McHenry will be fed to the raptor.]
Sarah’s parents: Okay, fine, we have no idea.
Sarah’s Nana: I’VE GOT A FOUR-FOOT LONG DILDO AND I WILL FUCKING USE IT ON YOU, BUSTER!!! NOW DO WHAT MY SARAH SAYS!
Richard: I’M NOT ONE OF THE KIDNAPPEES’ PARENTS BUT I’M BANGING THE MOTHER OF ONE OF THEM AND I AGREE WITH WHAT SHE SAYS!!!
There’s also the possibility that the Ruttens gave a large donation to the university and that’s part of why Carla got to go and stay in the correct dorm (on top of Harrison’s legal chops, of course), and it seems likely that if Carla asks them, they’d rescind the grant. And frankly, the Ruttens’ money probably overweighs Linda’s… Linda-ness.
I STRONGLY suspect that the Ruttens leveraged being The Ruttens to get Carla correctly gendered. Not sure if that was generous donations, threatened legal action with the backing of Ruttech money meaning they can match the university billable hour for billable hour, or some combination therein. Either way, if Carla decides to intervene on Amber’s behalf (though she’d probably be doing it because Sal or Joyce or the like get her involved, Carla only sort of knows Amber at most,) they are ABSOLUTELY bigger fish than Linda.
They joined the roller Derby together
McHenry would also probably do well to remember GashFace was going to make his way into the dorm to hack up two other girls for reporting him for rape. Punishing Amber for stopping him is PROBABLY not a look McHenry wants either.
Now now, we can’t prove that the nice pastor’s son was going to do that. All we’ve got is the word of two *chuckle* girls, and one of them isn’t that stable — the one who did the slashing, for that matter. He didn’t use the knife. As a matter of fact, can we even prove it was his? Sure, it has both their fingerprints on it, but only one of them got cut — isn’t that suspicious? Honestly, I’m not sure he was armed with anything more than his phone.
Ba-dum-tish! Sorry, that will never stop being funny. And yes, aside from the other girls coming forward in the aftermath, he was apparently stoned to the gills, so it’s kind of hard to make him the victim. Except white pastor’s son!
I can very easily see some asshole trying to frame it that way but Dorothy is pretty reliable and there are cameras on the door. That’s why Amber’s not been arrested and made to prove self-defence thus far.
Here to appreciate your pun, Reltznik
And it strikes me as appalling that no one else has said this so far, so here goes: most people called Karen are actually very nice, and this particular meme is deeply unfair to them. Just saying.
And no, I don’t just say this because my brother married one and her name’s not Karen.
I have one relative who is probably glad her father wasn’t a great speller and gave her an extra ‘R’ in her name.
Please say hello to Kraren for us when you see her!
“Release the Kraren!!”
I know at least one Karen who’s fine with the name being memed on because she gets the phenomenon they’re describing and doesn’t take it personally, but yeah, as someone named Alexa I get the frustration.
Are people always telling/asking you to do stuff for them? Play songs? Look stuff up online?
Our Google bot has gotten confused and thought I was talking to it when I’ve said things like “Hey cutie” to the kids so I assume you just refuse to be in the same room as an Alexa bot to preserve your sanity?
We do not have an Echo, we will never have an Echo, the one time I was in a house that had one we were all pretty careful to use my name as little as possible and still tagged it at one point by mistake. I hate Jeff Bezos for all the billionaire reasons but also on the purely personal one that even away from them, I still got fairly frequent jokes from strangers (back when, you know, you interacted with strangers on a regular basis) about ‘Alexa, do X.’ Including one from a relative who kept at it after I did the annoyed ‘yeah, never heard that one before.’ (The good news is that my immediate family all get that it’s an Issue and find it about as funny as I do. Both in the ‘ugh, People’ way and in the ‘my name has been coopted by a machine that is so commonplace podcast episodes have to warn if their guest happens to be named that in advance and that is some fucked-up cyberpunk shit’ way. With a side of ‘hey can we all have a talk about the blurring of humanizing bots and dehumanizing people inherent in using human names for these helper AIs, and especially the gendered component of using exclusively female ones and female voices? I feel like this needs to be a talk society has.’)
Also: Yes, I insist on using the speaker itself’s name, not the AI, that distinction never had to be made in the first place.
But yeah, even ignoring the jokes, the other thing I get on a fairly common basis is ‘well, you can just rename it!’ But while you can rename the individual unit, the issue with how SOCIETY AT LARGE associates the name with a speaker, and thus: cyberpunk dystopia bullshit where apparently we can’t use the name in media anymore ever because it might set the speakers off, and that includes anything talking to any of the myriad humans who had this name before the speaker did.
Our cat meowed once, prompting Alexa to rattle off a paragraph’s worth of facts about asteroids.
Not All Karens!
…I will see myself out.
I have a meme name, but the stereotype doesn’t fit me, so whatever.
Walky and Sal are realizing what I wish no one ever had to.
When your parents pit you against your sibling- hold tighter. If no one else will have your back- then you have to have each other.
Someone bring Walky his brown pants.
Hey Walky?
Happy Independence Day.
(Come on, I had to.)