The DUMBING OF AGE BOOK 9 KICKSTARTER has entered the plodding, tumbleweedy middle portion where essentially the needle doesn’t move! That’s fine. It’s all part of the circle of life. But at the … end of the tunnel oh god too many metaphors … we’ve got a pledge tier to add a MIKE MAGNET unlocking at $55k. That’ll probably be a while from now. But here’s a fancy graphic showing all that we’ve unlocked so far anyway!!!!
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I mean, the way they tag out COULD be pretty random, anyone keep track?
I choose to believe that every so often Willis picks tags at random and then draws the strips to match.
Is this where we get to ask random questions? See, what I want to know is, if you’re all sitting around over a dick, do you get to call it a corpse.
Only if it’s stiff.
‘Corpse’ is from the Latin ‘corpus’, which means ‘body’. Dicks are part of the body.
Great, now Becky has a funny story to tell during the eulogy!
Frankly a better one than “oh, remember all the times he tried to kidnapp me”
“If I had a nickel for every time my dad tried to kidnap me, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.”
What, didn’t they teach Amber how to comfort the grieving at SUPERHERO SCHOOL?!
Nope, they spent all that time on “how to beat up bad guys” which is a really common superhero shortcomming
I mean, you can take that as an elective, but she’s clearly majoring in Dark Avenger.
Because she only shows up after Danae Alaxander comes on with “Light’s Out Chicago?” So first up it’s “Avengers in the Night,” by Dean Martin?
Probably three nickels, given that he tried to make her leave Anderson with him.
To be fair, three nickles is more than she had when she turned up on Joyce’s doorstep.
Besides, it would have been four nickles with the one Mike left for her mother.
Mike pays people in woodpeckers now?
He does? That seems odd.
Maybe it was a red-cockaded woodpecker.
I was thinking the European green woodpecker, actually.
Why do they call it a nickle when it’s clearly a greenback?
(I’d point out that the metal/the coin is nickel, but honestly your pun legitimately made me sit back in awe for a few minutes, so…)
Maybe I could confuse the issue by asking if that’s the American or British spelling. If that didn’t work, I could bring in Bagge as the expert.
According to Wikipedia, “nickle” is only a valid word when referring to a surname, a programming language, or the abovementioned woodpecker – and is not to be confused with the metal nickel, though it’s a fairly common misspelling.
I will be honest:
It was a long time since I lost track of what the two of you are talking about.
But you’re the expert. Look at how you spelled knikal in your prior post. What could I do but follow the expert.
Life is always better when you have someone else to blame it on.
English 1
Bagge 0
English always seems to get the last laugh.
You sure? I’m pretty sure you did more damage to English than English did to you, so I think you’re winning on points.
…they’re all gonna get back to the dorms and billie’s still gonna think they’re covering for Sal, huh
Can’t wait to hear Ruth’s reaction to that.
Maybe they’ll get back to the dorm and Amber will just do a big identity reveal right in the middle of the dorm common room. No way Billie could be left in the dark about Amazigirl’s true identity then, yeah? xD
Ross isn’t tagged here, but was when Joyce put her coat over his face…
…this implies that he only died after Joyce did that, if I’m not mistaken. 😛
Joyce suffocated Ross?!? (Probably too soon.)
This is what I now headcanon until evidence suggests otherwise.
(Aw, he’s tagged now.)
Zombie!
Wow, the medical examiner’s office worked quick. No one’s noticed that the ambulance has shown up, yet already the toe is tagged.
If Ross wasn’t already dead, that joke would have finished him off…
All the Internets
Oh man, Becky is not in a good place mentally…
Has anyone here been a good place mentally for the last three months?
Comic time or IRL time?
Yes. And yes.
No. And no.
Yes.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/edmontosaurus/
You could have gone for any Becky and Dina being cute comic for an example.
I could, I really could.
Joyce, could you be less weird about this, k’thanks?
A month…a month of comic time. When even WAS the markerboard ding-dong incident in real time?
The cleaning is on September 19th, 2014, so, almost six years ago.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/cleaning/
you have GOT to be kidding me!
I’d’ve thought last fall….
I had to click back through several dozen more comics to find the actual incident, but came across some forgotten funny moments, and this comic:
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/godpertunity/
2014, friend. It’s been six years.
At this rate we might see the end of this school year in about 50 or 60 years.
Time’s fun when your having flies.
Or something like that.
I figure we just hit Halloween, so the gang will be heading home for winter break in about five years. I’m 52, so I fully expect to be dead long before the end of.the second semester.
Seriously, not the place guys.
There’s no wrong way to eat a Reeses
Yes, there is a wrong way. It’s called “eating a Reeses”.
Don’t @ me, I greatly dislike the peanut butter/chocolate combo due to overexposure.
Well, maybe THAT particular pb/choc combo. I mean, it’s not very good peanut butter, and not very good chocolate.
Nah, just in general. I like both individually, but I’m tired of them together.
Not like they’ve got any better places available the moment.
Geez, who are you, the grief police? Let Becky work through her feelings the way she wants to.
Mam, we’re just here to help you grieve properly. I’m going to have to ask you maintain the proper solemnity or my nightstick will really give you something to grieve about. Now if you’ll just put on the black veil and fake a few sobs, we can all go home.
And the category is, “With a background in social work, what would be the perfect job for Mike?”
Let them process this how they will, Phipps
Just saying, maybe you should be away from the body when the cops arrive.
In this thread, people acting like there’s only one way to deal with trauma.
Yup.
Aye.
Right? The girls’ reactions seem perfectly normal to me.
If she can get an ice cream cake out of this whole ordeal then it’ll be in the top three for best days of her life.
I can’t stop laughing at those middle three panels, the execution is perfect
Becky, holding her girlfriends hand and discussing dicks with Joyce over her father’s colding corpse is exactly the level of respect that piece of shit deserves.
…colding?
cooling
Better than scolding, which is how I first read it.
Probably not far off the mark either, and would still make my statement perfectly true.
I like “colding.” It might not be a real word (yet), but it’s more accurate and more descriptive.
Bagge 1
English 0
Nonsense. The way English works is:
Bagge 1
English 1
Ask that Shakespeare kid.
Of course it’s the best day of your life, you just won a freakin’ HOUSE!
Becky’s stated before that she has no intention of keeping the old place around (and looks forward to its inevitable foreclosure), so unless she’s changed her mind on that, that’s not what’s got her excited.
As someone who has to deal with a freakin HOUSE he has to sell before being able to leave the country, IT’S NOT THE BEST DAY AT ALL.
Foreclosure means the bank sells it, not you.
… though Becky is probably going to inherit (some of) Toe’s assets, since I don’t think he was petty enough or detail-oriented enough to write her out of his will.
“Foreclosure” also means that the vendor doesn’t push for even one cent from the buyer beyond what the bank gets to keep to cover its expenses and the balance of the mortgage. If you possibly can, keep control of the sale yourself.
One of my cousins left it in God’s hands, and ended up with not even a single buck. For some reason she did not take this as evidence that God loves the bank more than her.
Toedad absolutely didn’t write Becky out of his will. That would have been a dramatic gesture in the spirit of “you did not follow my every whim so you are no longer a daughter of mine” rather than what he was going for which was more in the neighbourhood of “you are my property with no more right to agency than a toaster and if you don’t follow my will I will force you to do it.”
This, assuming he even has a will. (If he doesn’t, I’m fairly sure Becky inherits his estate by default as his only living child.)
How is he supposed to give everything to an anti-LGBT section of the church if he doesn’t have a will?
A surprising number of people don’t think of it when they’re in their mid-forties.
He may have set something up after Bonnie passed away, but more than likely hasn’t changed it since before Becky came out.
There’s also people who..well, just don’t care what happens when they’re gone. They’re going up, so whatever happens here on Earth doesn’t matter to them. Even if it effects their earthly kin.
…Sorry, my own father fits into this category and it’s created some FUN family discussions over the years. c.c
And that’s why I’ve had a will since my daughter’s birth. It’s responsible, and I get to tell the kids they’re out of the will every time they get sassy (to which they respond that there’s nothing of worth *in* the will, and they’ll be the one choosing my nursing home).
Foreclosure only happens after you miss several payments, which was likely to happen with Toedad in jail and therefore not working, but certainly hasn’t happened -yet-. If Becky can sell off the house for more than the remaining mortgage balance, she should absolutely do that and pocket the difference.
Even so, cleaning out and selling a house (since she’ll also have to deal with all the furniture and shit?) Quite an involved process. It won’t be as bad as prepping a house for sale that was last inhabited by a roughly 90-year-old who’d been there for decades, well past the point they could really handle it the way both sides of my family have had to deal with in the last few years (and thank god for that, we have stories about my great-grandma’s house and hers had a legal sewage system and wasn’t full-on hoarder,) but just hauling out the random shit is a thing in itself.
(Protip: If you live in a house for 50 years, replace the heating system at some point in that time.
Protip 2: Assume that your children will end up clearing out your home. Consider, therefore, if you really want the many old Playboys to have better protection from the COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF MOUSE URINE than, I don’t know, literally ANYTHING ELSE.)
Yes, but I’m talking as a guy who got a house he didn’t want anymore, and who has to deal with selling it. Not fun. 🙁
I have witnessed this multiple times and sympathize entirely. Especially under the circumstances you get the house in, it’s one more fucking thing to deal with before you can close the estate and start trying to move on with your life.
Plus you keep getting mail about/addressed to it. Which also sucks.
Yeah dealing with my parents’ estates was stressful and time-consuming for me even though I lacked a bunch of the additional stress sources Becky has right now.
My instant headcanon right now is that Ross got a big life insurance payment but stuck it in the bank and refused to touch it because it was “blood money.”
Like in that TV episode way back when about the girl with the scarred face that still makes me angry 40+ years later.
How much does sending your daughter to Anderson cost, and do we know how Ross was paying for it?
About $43K, including room and board.
I’m glad Becky’s getting some delight right now. I’m sure could use it, even if I think the hurt’s going to sink in more later.
Okay,, so… can someone remind me why Joyce drew the dick in dorothy’s whiteboard first? I know Joyce was traumatized and did something shitty out of desperation, but I need to have a clear image, and by clear image I mean clear words, not a literal clear image of a dick.
Also, Becky is going full Deadpool to be a comedian to ignore her pain. I know comedy is used to deal with pain, but this is worrisome. I find screaming, raging and crying to be healthier reactions than suppressing everything with a fake smile and black humor.
The first one was a harmless prank (thanks to Sarah and Mike’s influence). Except Mike had switched out her marker for a permanent one.
I don’t get why people draw dicks as a prank. What happened to drawing the elder sign, which we still debate if it is a tree or a star. Kids this day have no respect for traditions.
Nyarlathotep started the dick-drawing fad for that very reason. If there are Elder Signs all over the place, we’re safe…
Dude, the elder sign is a dick. One of them, anyway; the other is the, uh, counterpart, the complementary organ.
What, you expected Great Old One dicks to look like human dicks?
So that’s what “When the stars are aligned correctly,” meant.
She’s too young to know about the S or Kilroy, and too homeschooled to know other schoolyard graffiti.
Back in the day, Kilroy was a good friend and turned up everywhere I went, but who or what is the S?
A doodle that was suddenly everywhere in the 90s wherever kids congregated. Apparently it popped up all over the place around the same time, and nobody’s exactly sure of its origins. It may have spread by childlore, or maybe a lot of people have false memories of seeing it (and it’s an example of the Mandela Effect), or it’s just so easy to draw that multiple people in different places came up with the same idea.
Bro she’s exactly the right age to know that. It was popular into the 2010s, prolly still is
Looks like a celtic design. Thanks for the link. Never saw it before.
It’s really unfair for culture to happen when you aren’t looking.
My 4th Graders totally draw that S.
it LIVES
There will be time for her to mourn the man who kidnapped her at gunpoint and threatened the lives of her friends and girlfriend.
But now? Toedead doesn’t even deserve to be acknowledged.
I am not talking about mourning him, I am talking about normal human reactions when seeing a corpse and experiencing a huge drama. Even if someone I hated died in front of me, I would feel weirded out, not because of pitty towards that person, but because of the experience of being too close to death. People I have known have died and I didn’t feel weird because those incidents happened naturally and far far away from me.
I dare other people to not be scared, weirded out or just confused when seeing someone die in front of them. Real life isn’t a comic book where people watch a corpse and just say jokes like in Brooklyn 99.
In my experience, it is not like that. Both times were in a hospital setting. Not scary, not weird, not confusing, just very sad.
I agree, they have all been kinda deadpooly during this whole kidnappomg situation, which doesn’t match how they would act in earlier storylines.
While it is funny and maybe a little refreshing, they do seem less like real people, which is sad since that has been the comics strength for me.
They seem pretty weirded out to me. And doing their best not to address it precisely because of how weirded out and uncomfortable t hey are.
Having seen a major car accident where someone died, I can say from experience that numb is sometimes how you respond emotionally in the heat of things.
Not everyone is going to respond to the same situation the same way. My emotions check out in a crisis & I process it some time later (anywhere between a day to several years depending on the crisis). While my emotions are checked out I am focusing on doing things – I worry about processing once they’s nothing that remains to be done. People have called me cold and unemotional for it but it’s just how my brain copes. I do have a meltdown, just later.
Humor is likewise a really common coping mechanism. I know many medical professionals who cope with tragedy like Becky is. It doesn’t mean she’s inhuman or callous, more that she doesn’t feel safe/ready/able to process right now and humor is how she holds it together. And, unfortunately, it means that she’s experienced enough crisis in her life to have realized cracking jokes lets her pretend it isn’t real until she has time or space to process it.
…
Let’s just say that as someone who has experienced his parents dying in front of him, you have no idea how everyone responds to it. I’ll leave it at that.
May I offer you an internet hug?
I hope you’ve found healing.
I appreciate it.
I would’ve started healing by now, if only I could’ve moved along with the rest of my family, but now I’m stuck in this hole, alone, for god knows how long and this isn’t helping.
I’m sorry for venting. A lot of the comments about Becky’s reactions have been… really painful to read and are bringing back emotions I would rather not revisit.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could do more than offer sympathy.
Maybe not read the comments for a while?
A number of comments do seem to be based on something other than lived experience, to say nothing of the “I can’t imagine *I’d* act like that, therefore it’s unrealistic.” Aside from being back old emotions, it can seem insulting like someone is saying your reactions were invalid, or you “did it wrong.”
I hope you can find help and healing. I’ll always have a hug for you.
Take care.
It can be a genuine smile. People can have more than one emotion, and wailing or raging aren’t required for processing heavy situations. Screaming, etc, would be an act.
It’s only been a few minutes in comic time since she was steeling herself to hand herself over as a hostage for her friends’ safety to the guy cooling off in front of her. Hysterical relief that not only does she not have to do that, but that this looming menace in her life is now gone, would be an entirely natural reaction.
Still plenty of time for her to get the guilts over this reaction, and the grief, and the relief again. I’m kinda glad she’s expressing it, instead of bottling it up like I did when my dad died.
Pain and comedy can co-exist without the one being an escape from the other. Becky has a fine sense of the absurd and its resilience doesn’t mean she’s denying other feelings. Being scared, weirded out, and confused does not preclude humor, and in fact humor is a great way to not freak out when scared, weirded out, or confused.
If she is using humor as a coping mechanism right now, there’s nothing unhealthy about that. She could be in shock and keeping it together until she has space and time to know what she feels.
Becky isn’t the type to react to weirdness with screaming, raging, and crying, not everyone is. But if she needed to scream, rage, and cry, it’s easy to understand that the middle of a crime scene with police on the way isn’t the place where she would give way.
I expect that Becky’s relationship with her father was badly strained even before the first kidnapping. He was probably too authoritarian and dull to inspire a lot of warm affection beyond dutiful daughterly love, so I doubt they ever had a truly close relationship. Then Bonnie’s suicide tore off the one thing that bound them together. Becky no doubt saw him as a big reason, if not the reason, her mother – whom she was close to – killed herself.
The scene after Bonnie’s death where Ross is ignoring Becky, as he’s holed up in the room she’s banished from, sitting outside the door, as if waiting for her remaining parent to acknowledge and comfort her, but he’s too wrapped up to notice her…
It’s possible that Becky’s humor is not escaping pain, but hiding the fact that she *isn’t* feeling pain, because he was already dead to her.
So, no, not worrisome that she’s not freaking out.
You would lose your bet. I have sat with a loved one as they passed, and the tone was not much different what is happening here, with no raging, screaming, or crying. It was solemn and quiet, and yes, we made a few jokes.
Alternatively:
Becky: okay, top 5 days of my life.
*looks down at the toe*
Becky: okay, best day.
I am amused that Joyce’s final comment here is exactly what half of the comments have been saying to the other half of the comments for years.
DingDongs.
Oh, wait. She had a line after that.
God I love Becky.
And indeed. “Randomly”
I wonder, would Joyce’s face melt if she were forced to utter the word “penis”?
Well now I want to know what the BEST day is
Six Flags?
Ding dong!
The Toe is dead
The DingDongBandit lives
Long dead the Toe.
I get that these are tender(ish) moments and all, but, soon, the police/ambulance/coroner will arrive, and, I don’t think these girls should be found gathered around a fresh corpse like Girl Scouts around a campfire!
What are they suppose to do — toast marshmallows over the kitchen range and make ‘smores?
Why? The true explanation is both innocent and credible.
Amazigirl shouldn’t be there anyway.
She’s stuck. I don’t see how she can get away this time.
She beat the bros up, Blaine heard her, and the other hostages saw her, so everyone can testify she was there. If she runs away now, she’ll be wanted for questioning in connection to a kidnapping and murder investigation (instead of just reports of vigilantism). Even if the police can’t find Amazi-Girl, they’re still going to interview Amber since she’s both a victim and the perpetrator’s child.
Even if she’s still wearing her street clothes under the suit, and finds somewhere to ditch the suit where it doesn’t get found when the crime scene is processed, everyone is aware the bros released Amber. There’s no reason for ‘Amber’ to be back in the basement.
Time for her to make one of her inexplicable disappearance unless, in no. She’s not got some ill -thought-out plan to atone for her actions does she?
Oh no, not in no. Gotta figure out how to edit my posts….
Good luck with that.
Well damn. This is going to lead to some embarrassing autocorrects in the future. . . .
I’m sure Becky is going to have a lot of difficult feelings when the adrenaline wears off…
Mostly about how she now needs to start a rivalry with Amber for the spot as Joyces BFF.
I’m really looking forward to Amber and Amazigirl explaining how they ARE different people and what their explanation looks like (if she’s going to call it DID outright or if she’s understood it differently due to the lack of therapy). ALSO really looking forward to MIKE. please?
Dorothy is upstairs preparing to tell the police a coherent narrative that will convict Blaine and do the least harm to the kids involved. And convince the police that this is a simple case with nothing much to investigate.
Good luck with that!
Actually, Joyce, if you just draw over it with a dry-erase marker it will rub right off.
clif. Hey, clif! You see that can you have right there, clif? The one with the worms? Yes, clif. That can. That can that are currently closed, clif, on account of all the worms that are in that can, clif. You see it? Now, the important thing – the one important thing – I want you to keep in mind in relation to that can of worms we just discussed, clif, is that you absolutely not, under any circumstances are to op… DANGIT!
Did you drop the mike or the can?
yes
Well, … okay then.
Might as well get one step ahead of this…
Permanent markers are typically alcohol soluble, so anything alcohol based (dry erase board cleaner, rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, etc) will remove their ink from hard, non-porous surfaces.
Dry erase markers are also alcohol soluble, and their ink is designed to peel off of hard surfaces easily. When you scribble a dry erase marker over permanent marker, the inks mix and then dry. Hopefully there’s enough dry erase ink present to fully incorporate the permanent ink, so they both come off when erased.
Is that the way it works?
I just assumed it was some kind of magic with chemists sitting around chanting “hepto-amino-benzadrine” or something like that.
That’s how they exorcise demons from hospitals.
(Sorry, it seems like the only copy of this on the Internet is in camera-pointed-at-the-screen-o-vision.)
Where was this dark magic when my daughter drew constellations all over her walls in permanent marker??
Depending on the paint, alcohol might have just smeared the ink around. I doubt it would come out of flat or eggshell latex. That’s why I had my walls repainted in semigloss. (Had to reaffirm that I was absolutely sure about it three times… Apparently nobody paints walls in semigloss anymore? But it’s the only paint that holds up to abuse and washing… Come to think of it, I replaced 80s brass ceiling fixtures with cheap boob lights, so maybe I’m just my own slumlord…)
So you’re suggesting Joyce should draw all the ding dongs a second time?
Well, I wasn’t, but …
The DingDongBandit is a super villian, the enemy of a superhero. OF COURSE she will return again. She even had a “she’s gone… OR IS SHE???” moment.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/cleaning/
“Best day of my life!” (looks at body of murdered father) “OK top 5 maybe.” (looks at body of murdered father again, remembers everything he did to her and her friends in the past 2 weeks) “Nope, still best day!”
Next strip: “My name is Mike the Unshaded and I’m going to entertain you with the Complete and Unabridged Story of How I Created the Ding-Dong Bandit until the cops arrive”.
And now folks it’s time for Don Pardo To deliver our special Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit-type announcement. Take it away, Don!
“This is a true story about a famous criminal from right around Bloomington. This is the story of Joyce Brown, a woman who got away scot-free for scribbling ding-dongs on everyone’s whiteboards. Apparently, there was no law against that; but her name lives on: Joyce Brown, The Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit!”
The Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit
I heard she’s on the loose
I heard she’s on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women…
Dumbing of Age Book 10: This Is the Best Day of My Life
Now I wonder what are the other four Becky’s great days.
Joyce is such a sweetie that her opinion on how cute it is for a young woman to act a certain way should carry the force of law.
Maaaan, corpses are a buzzkill. But even that can’t totally kill Becky’s delight in seeing her friend’s “Good Girl” veneer crack a little.
When the Boston Marathon bombing happened there was one guy in the news with his leg blown off, and you could see the bones sticking out, and he just has this kind of numb expression on his face. Some people said it was fake because they’d be screaming if it happened to them.
Don’t know why I thought of that just now, reading the comments
Reminds me of when Amber and Sal finally came to blows and people were chewing out Sal, saying that a little racism wasn’t as bad as the physical threat that Ross presented to Becky and Dina, ignoring that Sal and Marcie are the two characters present with major disabilities in that storyline.
Before anyone calls out “major” in regards to Sal’s hand, remember that she is very musically inclined and is no longer able to play bass properly. You stab me through my left hand, make it so I can no longer hold a chef’s knife? Yeah, that’s a major disability.
Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. It usually lets you keep going for a bit, and then the pain sets in. I guess there’s just a point where injuries are so severe that the brain just shuts it out for its own protection.
Also, I’ve watched raw footage of the marathon bombings. It’s bone-chilling, up there with the Station nightclub fire tape. Major props to the camera guys who always remember the #1 rule of video journalism: keep the lens on the action and never stop rolling.
Joyce did a great job of summarizing the ding dong bandit escapade!
Total aside, but I’m inclined not to contribute to the Kickstarter now, for aesthetic reasons alone.
Mike as a shadowy outline amongst all the other magnet-cast? Just seems… fitting, somehow…
WELP I CHOSE THE BEST WEEK TO CATCH UP ON THIS
HAHAHAHAHA
Seriously I hadn’t read this strip in 5 years, and I just finished rereading it all. Wish I had waited one more month on that particular project tbh…
Can Joyce call them dicks? I’m not really convinced she can.