That actually sounds like an interesting game for kids. For a short while, at least. Adults would have to include gambling to make it interesting, and the bucket would have to be a lot heavier and more durable.
Having a deadman’s switch on ones compromising documents never really helps to keep one alive unless ones enemies knows about it. I think this is why he’s not mentioning that: while he’s actively trying to not die here, he’s also passively attempting suicide by asshole, and hoping it will let him get back at all of the worse assholes in his life that he’s too scared to tackle directly in life.
Mike’s expression is almost as if he’s disgusted with Amazigirl’s form. “Really? THAT’S your smack talk? Ugh, toe head, pass me the hammer, I’ll brain myself”
in most versions of Dungeons and Dragons, most criticals are documented as ” x2″ which could be either, but for the sake of simplicity, my group multiplies your damage result, seeing as there are weapons that deal x3 or x4 on a confirmed critical hit.
In both 3.x & 5E, it was officially roll twice. Not sure about 4e, didn’t play a lot and don’t have the books. I don’t think there were official critical hit rules in AD&D, at least not in the core books, but it was a common house rule.
Many groups do just double damage for simplicity, but it does mess with the odds – rolling twice gives you a bell curve and thus evens out the extremes. Less chance of either max or min damage. Nothing more frustrating than a crit where you roll a “1” for damage.
I seem to recall someone at one point had made and published an optional table for placed shots, which determined what the damage increase was depending on the hit location. Powers & Perils included such a table in the base game, because of course they did. (It was, however, optional. If my memory is serving correctly, one could instead simply roll a potentially ridiculous number of D10s for ones damage. And then simply add the Weapon Strength Bonus to the result, because a sharp sword to the neck really doesn’t do that much more damage than a club to the neck.
If I’m remembering right, both tables gave head shots at least a factor four increase in damage.
Congratulations to Ross, who is definitely The Most Useless Person In This Fight Scene! I admit, for a moment there it looked like you might make a comeback with that play with the car, but it’s just not enough to overcome the early lead Mike took with his shouting dirty laundry maneuver! Better luck next time, Ross!
*Ross is ushered out in handcuffs and returned to jail, as is good and proper.*
To be fair though I don’t think Ross was “into” this fight in the first place, and probably still doesn’t understand how attacking Mike might will help his main goal (kidnapping his daughter)
“Uhh, like this…? How about just… your shoulder or something?”
“How the hell are you supposed to choke my shoulder? What part of ‘breathplay’ is unclear to you?”
“I don’t know, I thought we’d be like… snorkeling or something??”
“…”
“…okay, in retrospect, that seems pretty dumb.”
“Ughhh, your mom has a better chokehold than you. Maybe I should go back to her, she only charged me a nickel.”
“Listen, she’s a mature, experienced woman! You can’t expect me to replicate that kind of skill set after only 18 years of life! …Oh my God, your wrists are turning pink! Here, let me get those handcuffs off.”
“…..you know what, just leave them. Go play your ukulele in the quad or something. I’ll just lay here and stew in my own misery.”
…Alternatively, he’d be that really hot kind of Dom where they have no idea what they’re doing but somehow stumble onto the person’s kinks by sheer luck, then realize the sub is super into it and delight in teasing them about it, thus playing into the humiliation aspect… I feel like that would hella piss Mike off, Danny would think it was hilarious, and they would both thoroughly enjoy the experience.
Oh my god you’ve got NO IDEA of how intensely I enjoyed this. I even cackled IRL. Poor Mike. Danny is too sweet to punish him properly dsfkjskd
(The alternative, tho? That’d be amazing. We’ve witnessed Danny is capable of being sorta petty – He’d be an amazing Caring Dom with a side of teasing. Imagine him denying Mike until he begs AND I’LL SEE MYSELF OUT NOW, SORRY)
Err, not sure if you saw this Discord link and I forgot to extend the expiration when I made it, so it’s gonna expire in a few hours… So anyway, here’s one that won’t expire as soon: Here
Ahhh, good catch! I think you’re right. Mike’s face is kind of obscured by the speech bubble.
In other news, what’s up with Blaine waggling the hammer backhanded?? Is he that clueless about how hammers work? That is not an intimidating way to hold a hammer. And he was doing so well…
Um, trying to work with the artist here… When he thrust his right hand out to grab Mike’s throat, his left hand crossed right to keep his balance? Yeah, that works. Doesn’t it?
All signs point to “yes”. It’s been established (sorry, I don’t have the link to now) that Amber no longer remembers things AG does, and I think the reverse has been established as well.
Ahhh, here we go. Not where it was initially established, but the split is indirectly indicated here by Amber’s surprise when learning of something AG did.
I’d strongly suspect that AmaziGirl is likely not Amber’s only alternate personality, but it could be that she’s so Amazi that Amber’s not needed the others so much since. It’s also entirely possible that neither of them are aware of the other personalities, and they’re used for specific things that aren’t really covered in the comic. Or they might be aware but just aren’t willing to talk about them with the rest of the cast.
Wow, I didn’t notice that before, but you’re right!
He probably does have a Hammer Holster™ though… After all, way back at BJ Cat, he did pull it out of seemingly nowhere to initially threaten Mike with. I guess he could have had it in a jacket pocket or something, but I feel like that would have been really uncomfortable to walk around with, and anyway if he popped for body armor cuz he was planning ahead, and he brought the hammer cuz he was planning ahead, I would guess he would get something to hold his hammer in case of a fight where he had to strip down to the body armor.
And that would also explain why he is holding it in such a weird manner in panel four. He’s got Mike by the throat with his right hand, and had to “cross-draw” the hammer from his right hip with his (apparently dominant) left hand.
…I know we’re just looking at Blaine’s chin, but it looks disturbingly like Amazi-Girl kicked Blaine’s head off in the final panel – especially with the blood.
Craptasticdad is my go to. Abusidad sounds tooo similiar to Amazigirl.
not in meaning but just the illiteration together.
and he doesn’t get the snappy villain-hero dynamic.
Folks have been throwing around “the Belligerent Ball-Peen,” which has a nice ring to it; I’m also partial to someone’s suggestion of “the Peenetrator.”
Hmm, yeah, that’s a good point. I think he hit Amber’s mom, but there’s been no indication of rape – marital, incest, statutory, or otherwise. I know Amber specifically told someone that he hit her mom at some point, so if she knew about sexual assault, I’m sure she would have thrown that in there too. Therefore: it still might have happened, but if it did, Amber probably doesn’t know about it.
Also, Amber later outright saying that if Faz really was her half-brother, then it would mean that Blaine cheated on Stacy while “[Amber] was still in diapers. With a teenager.”
No, wait – I called that Mike gave himself feels for Ethan like WAAAY early on! But confirmation didn’t come for a long time after, so it wasn’t as immediately gratifying.
Come join me, friend, and I’ll go look it up for you. 🙂 We can fangirl at length without disturbing the others. 😉 It’s just a discord server – no exchange of personal info required. 🙂 Yay, internet safety!
“You could kill somebody with this if you used it right” and “I brought this with me intentionally to use as a weapon in melee combat” are two different things.
“Use it right” doesn’t enter into it. Any old blow with a heavy hammer is serious. There used to be a melee weapon called a war hammer, so it’s not a new idea.
And contrary to how it’s popularly depicted in most media, warhammers were not typically giant sledgehammer-sized weapons – they typically weren’t all that different in size from the ball-peen hammer Blaine has. (Mount and Blade: Warband is possibly the only game I’ve seen off the top of my head to get this aspect of medieval weaponry right – sledgehammer-style weapons do exist in the game, but “war hammers” are a separate thing and are basically what I described above.)
Yes but something like a long-handled hammer probably wouldn’t be easily available off-the-shelf, and the long handle wouldmake it harder to conceal.
I think the ball peen hammer makes a lot of sense in this case… Easy to buy, light enough not to tire Blaine out, the hammer gives an extra half foot of reach (not great but better than nothing), more damaging than hitting with a fist, and won’t damage his own hand in the process.
Yeah, just saying it’s not really the same thing as a war hammer.
And honestly, less effective in a fight than a knife – unless you’re expecting a armored opponent – like a knight wearing a helmet. Big advantage of a knife over something like a hammer in a close fight is that it’s a lot easier for your opponent to grab or block the hammer – no risk of getting cut wrestling over it.
Either can be fight ending if you get a good blow in, the knife’s far more dangerous even if you can’t get that one good hit.
@thejeff Maybe he was concerned about blood spatter? When he first produced the hammer, it was in response to Mike saying that Blaine wasn’t really concealing his identity while he was out “doing crimes”, and Blaine basically said he had already planned for that, and then pulled out the hammer. That could have meant a number of different things, but one credible interpretation could be that he somehow planned to pin it on Ross; another that’s just occurred to me, possibly more valid considering the info everyone has dug up on the type of hammer, is that he planned to claim self-defense with the too he had on hand. If it’s the first, or if he’s planning to somehow get away without any witnesses (unlikely, but he’s not the sharpest tool – pun fully intended, maybe he SHOULD have gone with the knife), blood spatter on his clothes would be a pretty compelling not of evidence.
Not saying there wouldn’t be any blood from using the hammer, but it’s pretty much guaranteed with a knife, compared to just a chance with the hammer depending on where he hits.
@thejeff You just made me imagine a new ridiculous weapon: the warhammersword. It’s like a normal war hammer, except instead of a long handle, it has a sword blade. Or, it’s like a normal sword, except instead of a point it has a machinists’ hammer head.
I mean, sure, you could fix that issue by putting spikes on the portion of the handle that’s only for reach, but that doesn’t seem nearly as silly.
This worries me. Blaine is not stupid and he’ll have a lot of free time thinking about this dialogue. He might be able to put the hints together and figure out the amber/ag situation.
I learned about tunnel vision at the age of twelve when I was ineffectually punching a guy half again my size. Things were going on around me, loud things, that pissed the principal off more than the punching, and I was utterly unaware. I didn’t get killed by the big guy because he was surprised I was punching him. What I had taken for bullying he thought was flirting. It was years later when I figured that out.
People often make the mistake to look down on those they don’t like. To underestimate them. Blaine is easily distracted when angry, yes. He’s also the guy who runs a big money laundering thing without being discovered by officials. He tracked down toedad and easily manipulated him into murder. He even found asher. He foresaw ag showing up and had that armor ready. And he sent faz to school to snoop around.
He’s smart. He’s great at planning and scheming and manipulating. He utterly fails at physical confrontations and screws up when angered, and he can’t adapt fast when things don’t go according to plan though. he’s more the kind of man who sits behind a desk and makes the plans, not the one who executes them. He will be calm when thinking about this in custody.
I agree he’s not stupid, but he’s got a big blind spot when it comes to Amber. Despite his own confrontation with her, despite whatever Faz told him, he still sees her as the paralyzingly shy kid who couldn’t even ride the bus.
I doubt he’ll figure the AG/Amber thing out without more direct evidence. This quote? He does know Amber has an anger problem (he was there for the Sal stabbing), so it’s easy to read this as “If you’d caught up with Amber…” rather than “If Amber was in control of this meat vehicle…”
He’d also need to figure out not only the secret identity, but the disassociation for that to make any sense. Without that, the phrasing actually leads him away from thinking AG is Amber.
That blind spot is basically the only thing protecting amber here I think.
And he might come to the conclusion that two people impersonate as ag at different times. Which isn’t that implausible and close enough to the truth that it could lead to trouble.
I feel like that really would not be a good thing for Amber in this universe. Like, she’d really, really fear herself even more than she already does, plus there would be so much more self loathing… I’m just hoping he goes to jail for trying to kill Mike with a hammer.
Only if Amber isn’t the one who killed him just now.
like if she grabs Mike and they swing away—which would be the best movie honestly–and then he scrambles after them and falls to his death. or more aptly tries to shove ross aside and then falls,
that would be fine.
but if she directly kills him, I don’t think that would help amber in the long run. Though it might.. but it would probably end amazigril
I was thinking hammer lands on Ross’s toe, he jumps backwards yelping, falls down the fire escape – and Blaine is responsible for his murder. (I think that pans out legally? If you have a weapon you intend to kill somebody with and accidentally kill somebody else I’m pretty certain it counts as premeditated murder?) Amazigirl and Mike escape; Mike goes to the police and gives his evidence. Hopefully CCTV footage backs him up.
I think for it to count as premeditated murder there would have to be solid evidence that he brought the hammer along specifically for the purpose of murdering someone, which despite him implying and eventually saying (?) he was going to, IIRC he’s never directly said or even implied that was his plan from the outset. From what he told Ross, he’s consistently said he just wanted to “scare her a little” or something so she drops out of school.
Not saying he DIDN’T plan on murder – just saying, I haven’t yet seen anything that could be used as evidence. So it might be downgraded to a crime of opportunity or a crime of passion it whatever you call it.
Also, if the hammer doesn’t directly kill Ross, but causes something to happen which results in his death, would that fall more into the category of manslaughter than murder? Not sure specifically where the dividing line is between those two.
I’m quite curious about what you said about the legal issue though, and if anyone knows the answer, I’d love to hear it.
Also, isn’t “attempted murder” also a crime? IF Mike really is recording or on an open call, “Sorry, you knew too much” is pretty damning, whether he succeeds or not… And “also I just don’t like you” isn’t gonna do him any favors with a jury.
Just to note, if Blaine killed Ross, nothing he ever said to Ross could be effectively used in his defense, because the only witness to those words would be dead. Also, most of them wouldn’t really help him much in court. They might save him from a murder charge, but they’d convict him of a lesser charge. I’m pretty sure that Blaine would be doing his best to not get any charge.
Attempted murder is a crime, but considering that Mike went for AmaziGirl’s help rather than the police, I’m doubting he’s on an open 911 call. Proving attempted murder can be rough.
Toedad is probably reconsidering getting involved with masked shenanigans.
I seriously thought Blaine had some plan involving simple kidnapping in some scary realistic way, but this super hero stuff makes me feel relief because of how the whackiness makes Blaine pathetic.
Mike does. and Blaine does.
Her name has been droped. Multiple times here.
its just that Mike and now the craptasticdad are associating the two personalities as different.
mike because he understands
craptastic dad because he’s insane.
Blaine hasn’t actually acknowledged any of Amber’s several name drops between Mike and AG; he could still plausibly not know, although it would drastically reduce my perception of his intelligence if that were the case. Like, even lower than it already is.
Mike hasn’t officially been confirmed one way or the other, but signs are definitely pointing to “yes”.
I haven’t seen anything that even hints that Blaine knows or that would really give him a clue here.
This scene is the first that even hints that Mike knows. It would surprise me if he did and never used it in his prodding of Amber – at least not on panel.
I don’t think either of them know, though I’m not quite as sure about Mike as I was a week back.
Yeah that’s my one sticking point on Mike knowing. If he knewbelieved Amber was still at the party (she said she was trying to leave without saying goodbye to him specifically, and presumably succeeded), and he knows AG shares a body with her, why would he go running around in Dunn Woods hoping to run into her on the basis that she’s seen there frequently?
Of course he could have just been pretending he didn’t see her leave, which I guess would make the rest make sense again.
Also, I don’t think Blaine would believe Amber capable of anything like what Amazi-Girl can do. He has a fixed vision of her that’s colored by his contempt.
Enough information has been said around Blaine to pull it all together, but he probably hasn’t been paying attention. And to be fair, it’s hard to listen, fight, and deliver your supervillain monologue at the same time.
Maybe enough to leap to that conclusion, but I don’t think it’s that obvious even if he had been paying attention.
But then, I don’t think Mike knows either.
I suspect Mike knows but for the record keeps stating that Amber‘s not there, because another case of self-Defence would look bad on her record even without the vigilantism.
I don’t think we know if Mike and Blaine’s dialogue was recorded. We are assuming it was (since Mike is smart and it’s a good idea) but Mike may have just been hoping someone (AG or other witnesses) we ould hear and step in.
I’m not entirely sure. I think she managed to get a normally-associated-with-a-trampoline amount of bounce off the roof of the car (or she could rival Gabby Douglas in terms of ability to apparently defy gravity…).
Or possibly she ran and got a decent amount of tension in the rope and then effectively swung and jumped almost as if she were pole vaulting to come in from that angle like that? That could sort of almost make sense and *possibly* not break physics?
Side thought. Does Ross only own surplus camo pants? I’ve only know two people who did that. One straight up called himself a professional hunter after having a single deer trophy. I realize this is a weird nagging thought. But he seems like the type who would go down that train of thought.
Also squirm-lifting hoodlums. If you don’t believe that’s harder, you should try it sometime. Except not, because that’s vigilantism, which is a crime. But you can try squirm-lifting a consenting wrestling partner.
Given your behavior, Blaine, I barely care what you think about Mike. “And I don’t like you” I’d really only listen to from people who are less jerkassy and/or more innocent than Mike. It’s not like you’re Joyce or Ethan.
Lot of discussion about the hammer and I was curious, so I did an experiment. The left picture shows impact of a moderate blow with a ball-peen hammer on strong flooring material resting on six layers of rigid foam core. Second pic shows obverse of that impact. Third is on a narrow piece of oak that is about 2x the cross-section of a human ulna.
Didn’t do much to the oak, which I expected, but it would certainly have hurt like hell. If the flooring material even remotely approximates the human skull though…
Also I’m wondering if the dad is going to have a moment of clarity and realize this isn’t right and just leave or do something to turn on Blaine ….
But I’ll give ya 3-5 odds most of this could have been avoided if Joyce had just answered her damn phone instead of this acting like 5-year-old petty “bad girl” thing she thinks she’s doing because she was getting warned toedad was out of prison by Blaine
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Idk, I’d feel too sorry for the bucket.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGkaY9vvMPA
I can never unsee that… hahaha
That actually sounds like an interesting game for kids. For a short while, at least. Adults would have to include gambling to make it interesting, and the bucket would have to be a lot heavier and more durable.
How about alcohol instead of gambling? That should work, too.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GukmQE-WIlM
(Wow this video’s almost 10 years old already…)
Oh, trust me, there’s no shortage of “adult” interpretations of that toy’s slogan.
(see: the video that Needfuldoer posted)
Aaagh! 90’s kid flashback!
Board James reference
Any inanimate object is worth more than Blaine’s life.
Poifect. Always the spot.
... Moves Jen?
“… And another boot for Blaine.”
Well, that’s gonna smart.
One of my favorite gags from Animaniacs seems like it would apply here.
Ralph: Owww, that smarted me!
Yakko: I doubt it.
I prefer the various iterations of “Give me the bird” myself.
“We’d love to, but the Fox censors won’t allow it”.
No, no, no… Finger prints (Prince)
I don’t think so.
“If the Hays Office would only let me, I’d give ‘im the bird alright!” – A Tale of Two Kitties, 1942
Gotta say, that domino mask is doing him no favors in the first panel, and it is great. Beware the nightly terror of Lazy-Eye Guy!
Someone tell physics to stop whining.
“Heads break before laws of physics”–Masamune Shirow’s DOMINION
The physics of the Willisverses is perfectly cromulent
“Why are you crying, Dr. Physics Professor?”
“I… I don’t know…”
I understood all those references.
For those who don’t, a Link to the relevant page of El Goonish Shive.
Ye cannae change the laws of physics, Jim!
“But I can find ye a loophole!”
“Ah’ll getcha there, captain, even if I have to get out an’ push!” is still my favorite Scotty line.
Looks like the hook is anchored below the stair level and she swung round that pivot. Would take a running start.
But the Star Trek quote that came to my mind was;
“I, have had enough, of YOU!”
It’s worse than that, it’s physics, Jim!
Physics “How did she made that Jump, just how?”
Yes, that is my problem, I am trying to picture how she managed to generate that much momentum, but it is just not working.
Willis very seldom does that “follow a character multiple times in a panel”. It works nicely here.
(And I’m sure there’s a term for it I should know.)
You mean Amazi-Girl doesn’t just have a stunt double?
She has an emotional stunt double.
Her name is Amber.
Blaine doesn’t realize Mike totally has a dead man switch on his documents, heh
‘You knew too much’. Confirmation that Mike does have serious dirt on Blaine.
Nah, Mike simply knows anything at all.
Having a deadman’s switch on ones compromising documents never really helps to keep one alive unless ones enemies knows about it. I think this is why he’s not mentioning that: while he’s actively trying to not die here, he’s also passively attempting suicide by asshole, and hoping it will let him get back at all of the worse assholes in his life that he’s too scared to tackle directly in life.
Mike’s expression is almost as if he’s disgusted with Amazigirl’s form. “Really? THAT’S your smack talk? Ugh, toe head, pass me the hammer, I’ll brain myself”
That’s what he deserves for turning his back to AG while in the middle of a fight.
She gets an attack of opportunity.
Nat 20, roll damage.
If it’s nat 20, that’s a crit. I forget, are we doing “roll your damage twice” or “double your result”?
Maximum damage and unusual extra results at the GM’s discretion. The GM is encouraged to be both creative and generous.
If you roll a second nat 20 you get max damage with no defensive deductions. Our group calls that a confirmed critical.
Most of the groups I’ve been in have only required the second roll to be a hit, not another nat 20.
in most versions of Dungeons and Dragons, most criticals are documented as ” x2″ which could be either, but for the sake of simplicity, my group multiplies your damage result, seeing as there are weapons that deal x3 or x4 on a confirmed critical hit.
Which would be especially annoying on a weapon that rolls damage on multiple dice.
In both 3.x & 5E, it was officially roll twice. Not sure about 4e, didn’t play a lot and don’t have the books. I don’t think there were official critical hit rules in AD&D, at least not in the core books, but it was a common house rule.
Many groups do just double damage for simplicity, but it does mess with the odds – rolling twice gives you a bell curve and thus evens out the extremes. Less chance of either max or min damage. Nothing more frustrating than a crit where you roll a “1” for damage.
I seem to recall someone at one point had made and published an optional table for placed shots, which determined what the damage increase was depending on the hit location. Powers & Perils included such a table in the base game, because of course they did. (It was, however, optional. If my memory is serving correctly, one could instead simply roll a potentially ridiculous number of D10s for ones damage. And then simply add the Weapon Strength Bonus to the result, because a sharp sword to the neck really doesn’t do that much more damage than a club to the neck.
If I’m remembering right, both tables gave head shots at least a factor four increase in damage.
Congratulations to Ross, who is definitely The Most Useless Person In This Fight Scene! I admit, for a moment there it looked like you might make a comeback with that play with the car, but it’s just not enough to overcome the early lead Mike took with his shouting dirty laundry maneuver! Better luck next time, Ross!
*Ross is ushered out in handcuffs and returned to jail, as is good and proper.*
Ross is a Lifetime movie villain in a DC movie world. Sorry, Ross.
OMG he totally is. What would his movie be called, do you think?
Not Without My daughter 5
If that flying hammer doesn’t smite him in the face.
I mean, why not both?
To be fair though I don’t think Ross was “into” this fight in the first place, and probably still doesn’t understand how attacking Mike might will help his main goal (kidnapping his daughter)
How did you expect him to climb those stairs quickly, after skipping every leg day?
Has Buckets of Blood Guy appeared in Dumbing of Age?
He is currently tagged in five separate strips from 2011 to 2018.
Hey, you jumped in while I was still doing “research”. Good job.
He has if I recall correctly.
Only a few times, starting here.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/creepy/
… Mike had never gotten to witness neither AG nor Amber getting violent, right? His face looks a little shocked in that last panel.
I can’t be mad at this blatant disregard of the laws of physics when it results on Blaine getting two boots to the teeth. Fuck, but that’s satisfying.
Isn’t it, though? (And seeing that it’s Mike, it might be that he suddenly finds AG a bit attractive, lmao)
He already hit on her when she pinned him that one time during the White Board Ding Dong Bandit saga.
His masochism has an exhibitionism fetish.
…crossing my fingers for a kinky Mike Slipshine… 😏
He’s canonly a masochist in the Walkyverse and I don’t think Willis is changing it here either so 8D
… Bear with me being a dirty fangirl for a second but, in the (admittedly unlikely) case of Danny/Mike… How would that go, then?
“No, moron, put your hand on my throat.”
“Uhh, like this…? How about just… your shoulder or something?”
“How the hell are you supposed to choke my shoulder? What part of ‘breathplay’ is unclear to you?”
“I don’t know, I thought we’d be like… snorkeling or something??”
“…”
“…okay, in retrospect, that seems pretty dumb.”
“Ughhh, your mom has a better chokehold than you. Maybe I should go back to her, she only charged me a nickel.”
“Listen, she’s a mature, experienced woman! You can’t expect me to replicate that kind of skill set after only 18 years of life! …Oh my God, your wrists are turning pink! Here, let me get those handcuffs off.”
“…..you know what, just leave them. Go play your ukulele in the quad or something. I’ll just lay here and stew in my own misery.”
…Alternatively, he’d be that really hot kind of Dom where they have no idea what they’re doing but somehow stumble onto the person’s kinks by sheer luck, then realize the sub is super into it and delight in teasing them about it, thus playing into the humiliation aspect… I feel like that would hella piss Mike off, Danny would think it was hilarious, and they would both thoroughly enjoy the experience.
Oh my god you’ve got NO IDEA of how intensely I enjoyed this. I even cackled IRL. Poor Mike. Danny is too sweet to punish him properly dsfkjskd
(The alternative, tho? That’d be amazing. We’ve witnessed Danny is capable of being sorta petty – He’d be an amazing Caring Dom with a side of teasing.
Imagine him denying Mike until he begsAND I’LL SEE MYSELF OUT NOW, SORRY)Hey bud, let’s be friends. Open to others too if they want, I guess. 🙂
I’ve got some fanfic recs you might enjoy 😉
Err, not sure if you saw this Discord link and I forgot to extend the expiration when I made it, so it’s gonna expire in a few hours… So anyway, here’s one that won’t expire as soon: Here
Whoops. Here.
It looks like Blaine was choking him in panel 4, so that might explain Mike’s face.
Ahhh, good catch! I think you’re right. Mike’s face is kind of obscured by the speech bubble.
In other news, what’s up with Blaine waggling the hammer backhanded?? Is he that clueless about how hammers work? That is not an intimidating way to hold a hammer. And he was doing so well…
Um, trying to work with the artist here… When he thrust his right hand out to grab Mike’s throat, his left hand crossed right to keep his balance? Yeah, that works. Doesn’t it?
He wants to make sure he sees it.
Is AG actually a separate personality from Amber?
All signs point to “yes”. It’s been established (sorry, I don’t have the link to now) that Amber no longer remembers things AG does, and I think the reverse has been established as well.
Ahhh, here we go. Not where it was initially established, but the split is indirectly indicated here by Amber’s surprise when learning of something AG did.
Yes.
I’d strongly suspect that AmaziGirl is likely not Amber’s only alternate personality, but it could be that she’s so Amazi that Amber’s not needed the others so much since. It’s also entirely possible that neither of them are aware of the other personalities, and they’re used for specific things that aren’t really covered in the comic. Or they might be aware but just aren’t willing to talk about them with the rest of the cast.
Red-panel Amber has completely different morals and mannerisms to both Amber-Classic and Amazi-Girl, so I count three.
I was wondering when the hammer would return.
And then quickly fly away again… hopefully into Ross? Seems like it’s headed that way…
I’m wondering where it came from. Blaine is empty-handed in panels 1 and 3. Maybe he has a Hammer-Holster (tm, pat. pend.).
Wow, I didn’t notice that before, but you’re right!
He probably does have a Hammer Holster™ though… After all, way back at BJ Cat, he did pull it out of seemingly nowhere to initially threaten Mike with. I guess he could have had it in a jacket pocket or something, but I feel like that would have been really uncomfortable to walk around with, and anyway if he popped for body armor cuz he was planning ahead, and he brought the hammer cuz he was planning ahead, I would guess he would get something to hold his hammer in case of a fight where he had to strip down to the body armor.
It does look like there’s something at his right side belt that could easily be his hammer in a belt holster. Panels 1 and 3.
And that would also explain why he is holding it in such a weird manner in panel four. He’s got Mike by the throat with his right hand, and had to “cross-draw” the hammer from his right hip with his (apparently dominant) left hand.
…I know we’re just looking at Blaine’s chin, but it looks disturbingly like Amazi-Girl kicked Blaine’s head off in the final panel – especially with the blood.
Wouldn’t be opposed to it tbh
That looks like a killing blow anyway- she’s striking him with her full body at speed, at a point that could snap his neck.
Buckets of Blaine is my Fountains of Wayne cover band.
Ambers Mom has got it going on,
or so I hear.
Stacy is a very attractive woman. No word on Grandma Brannon, but I wouldn’t doubt it runs in the family.
Well, your chest armor’s not going to help too much there, Blaine.
Also, wonder if he has a supervillain name. Frightwing? 😛
Dadjoker?
Ooh, that’s too good. Blaine doesn’t deserve it, lol
You should’ve gone for the——OW MY HEAD
Well, I saw “AbusiDad” thrown around a lot the previous days and since my bro and I are native Spanish speakers, we’ve also been using “Maldad”
Shitty puns are the way to go when the hero’s called AmaziGirl.
He’s mal a la tete now but that’s French
Craptasticdad is my go to. Abusidad sounds tooo similiar to Amazigirl.
not in meaning but just the illiteration together.
and he doesn’t get the snappy villain-hero dynamic.
Folks have been throwing around “the Belligerent Ball-Peen,” which has a nice ring to it; I’m also partial to someone’s suggestion of “the Peenetrator.”
That sounds too rapey for my liking – to our knowledge he hasn’t unless it was statutory after all…
Hmm, yeah, that’s a good point. I think he hit Amber’s mom, but there’s been no indication of rape – marital, incest, statutory, or otherwise. I know Amber specifically told someone that he hit her mom at some point, so if she knew about sexual assault, I’m sure she would have thrown that in there too. Therefore: it still might have happened, but if it did, Amber probably doesn’t know about it.
The hint of statutory rape is the questions about Yuri’s age relative to Faz’s.
Per Sarah “like, twenty-five, tops” with Faz being almost 16. Which is something Amber tries not to think about.
Also, Amber later outright saying that if Faz really was her half-brother, then it would mean that Blaine cheated on Stacy while “[Amber] was still in diapers. With a teenager.”
Yeah, there’s a heavy implication Faz’s mom wasn’t of-age.
At this point I’m just hoping it’s only “wasn’t of age” rather than “wasn’t even a teenager”.
Deadbeat the Peeninator
I still think Small-Peen Hammer would be an appropriate monicker.
Oh my god. Oh my god, I actually called it with the grappling hook, holy crap.
I’m… shocked?
Okay AG, now “Spidey-swing them away”(?), so I can high five a mirror.
CONGRATULATIONS
Awwww, thanks! ♥ I think that might be my first accurate prediction. I’m pretty stoked. 😁
No, wait – I called that Mike gave himself feels for Ethan like WAAAY early on! But confirmation didn’t come for a long time after, so it wasn’t as immediately gratifying.
It was gratifying when it happened tho 8D When did you call it?
Come join me, friend, and I’ll go look it up for you. 🙂 We can fangirl at length without disturbing the others. 😉 It’s just a discord server – no exchange of personal info required. 🙂 Yay, internet safety!
Blaine’s such a shitty villain. Who goes to all the trouble of getting a costume and decides his signature weapon is a tiny hammer?
Tiny Hammer Man, your days are numbered. (These…are not the hammer.)
They call him “Tiny Peen.”
Seen at the dollar store: some light hammers labeled “lady’s hammer”.
My dad had a hammer like that. It was a two-pound hammer and easily capable of cracking a skull.
“You could kill somebody with this if you used it right” and “I brought this with me intentionally to use as a weapon in melee combat” are two different things.
“Use it right” doesn’t enter into it. Any old blow with a heavy hammer is serious. There used to be a melee weapon called a war hammer, so it’s not a new idea.
And contrary to how it’s popularly depicted in most media, warhammers were not typically giant sledgehammer-sized weapons – they typically weren’t all that different in size from the ball-peen hammer Blaine has. (Mount and Blade: Warband is possibly the only game I’ve seen off the top of my head to get this aspect of medieval weaponry right – sledgehammer-style weapons do exist in the game, but “war hammers” are a separate thing and are basically what I described above.)
The heads may have been close to that size, but the handles were generally at least a couple of feet, reach being important in fights.
Yes but something like a long-handled hammer probably wouldn’t be easily available off-the-shelf, and the long handle wouldmake it harder to conceal.
I think the ball peen hammer makes a lot of sense in this case… Easy to buy, light enough not to tire Blaine out, the hammer gives an extra half foot of reach (not great but better than nothing), more damaging than hitting with a fist, and won’t damage his own hand in the process.
Yeah, just saying it’s not really the same thing as a war hammer.
And honestly, less effective in a fight than a knife – unless you’re expecting a armored opponent – like a knight wearing a helmet. Big advantage of a knife over something like a hammer in a close fight is that it’s a lot easier for your opponent to grab or block the hammer – no risk of getting cut wrestling over it.
Either can be fight ending if you get a good blow in, the knife’s far more dangerous even if you can’t get that one good hit.
@thejeff Maybe he was concerned about blood spatter? When he first produced the hammer, it was in response to Mike saying that Blaine wasn’t really concealing his identity while he was out “doing crimes”, and Blaine basically said he had already planned for that, and then pulled out the hammer. That could have meant a number of different things, but one credible interpretation could be that he somehow planned to pin it on Ross; another that’s just occurred to me, possibly more valid considering the info everyone has dug up on the type of hammer, is that he planned to claim self-defense with the too he had on hand. If it’s the first, or if he’s planning to somehow get away without any witnesses (unlikely, but he’s not the sharpest tool – pun fully intended, maybe he SHOULD have gone with the knife), blood spatter on his clothes would be a pretty compelling not of evidence.
Not saying there wouldn’t be any blood from using the hammer, but it’s pretty much guaranteed with a knife, compared to just a chance with the hammer depending on where he hits.
Maybe that’s why??…
@thejeff You just made me imagine a new ridiculous weapon: the warhammersword. It’s like a normal war hammer, except instead of a long handle, it has a sword blade. Or, it’s like a normal sword, except instead of a point it has a machinists’ hammer head.
I mean, sure, you could fix that issue by putting spikes on the portion of the handle that’s only for reach, but that doesn’t seem nearly as silly.
Wow, that’s good to know! It does make a lot more sense than typical media portrayals, now that I have the info. Thanks for sharing!
…I love fandoms that are collectively well-informed about various topics and share knowledge with each other. 😀
THE HAMMER IS MIKE’S PENIS.
(He used it to nail your mom.)
It’s funny because he’s dead.
This worries me. Blaine is not stupid and he’ll have a lot of free time thinking about this dialogue. He might be able to put the hints together and figure out the amber/ag situation.
I doubt Blaine heard her. At this moment in the fight he’ll be in tunnel vision mode and won’t be conscious of anything that isn’t Mike.
And considering she got him in the nose, he won’t be conscious of anything but pain for quite a while.
Seems like an uppercut (if that’s the correct term?) to the underside of the jaw? I could be wrong, though.
I’d say both boots to the face, which kicked his head back.
Yeah, he’s like super fixated on him. Finally, his long overdue vengeance on the 12-year-old who outsmarted him!
I learned about tunnel vision at the age of twelve when I was ineffectually punching a guy half again my size. Things were going on around me, loud things, that pissed the principal off more than the punching, and I was utterly unaware. I didn’t get killed by the big guy because he was surprised I was punching him. What I had taken for bullying he thought was flirting. It was years later when I figured that out.
Oooof. That is… a whole lot of life lessons packed into one fun-sized adventure. Dang.
Words 4-7 sorta ruin the rest of your post, on account of being demonstrably false.
People often make the mistake to look down on those they don’t like. To underestimate them. Blaine is easily distracted when angry, yes. He’s also the guy who runs a big money laundering thing without being discovered by officials. He tracked down toedad and easily manipulated him into murder. He even found asher. He foresaw ag showing up and had that armor ready. And he sent faz to school to snoop around.
He’s smart. He’s great at planning and scheming and manipulating. He utterly fails at physical confrontations and screws up when angered, and he can’t adapt fast when things don’t go according to plan though. he’s more the kind of man who sits behind a desk and makes the plans, not the one who executes them. He will be calm when thinking about this in custody.
I agree he’s not stupid, but he’s got a big blind spot when it comes to Amber. Despite his own confrontation with her, despite whatever Faz told him, he still sees her as the paralyzingly shy kid who couldn’t even ride the bus.
I doubt he’ll figure the AG/Amber thing out without more direct evidence. This quote? He does know Amber has an anger problem (he was there for the Sal stabbing), so it’s easy to read this as “If you’d caught up with Amber…” rather than “If Amber was in control of this meat vehicle…”
He’d also need to figure out not only the secret identity, but the disassociation for that to make any sense. Without that, the phrasing actually leads him away from thinking AG is Amber.
That blind spot is basically the only thing protecting amber here I think.
And he might come to the conclusion that two people impersonate as ag at different times. Which isn’t that implausible and close enough to the truth that it could lead to trouble.
I don’t know, he can’t be all that bright considering he blatantly ignored the superhero to go after Mike.
Okay but if you had a hammer in your hand and you had to choose between Amazi-Girl and Mike-Mouthing-Off, tell me you wouldn’t at least consider it.
Hell, I love Mike, and I’d DEFINITELY consider it.
is this where Blaine Dies?
and Ross gets blamed for it ?
( it didnt really hurt Amber much in shortpacked . )
I feel like that really would not be a good thing for Amber in this universe. Like, she’d really, really fear herself even more than she already does, plus there would be so much more self loathing… I’m just hoping he goes to jail for trying to kill Mike with a hammer.
Only if Amber isn’t the one who killed him just now.
like if she grabs Mike and they swing away—which would be the best movie honestly–and then he scrambles after them and falls to his death. or more aptly tries to shove ross aside and then falls,
that would be fine.
but if she directly kills him, I don’t think that would help amber in the long run. Though it might.. but it would probably end amazigril
Blaine falls, and then Ross falls onto him. Kill two dads with one Toe.
But… I never got my Amazi-Burger…
I was thinking hammer lands on Ross’s toe, he jumps backwards yelping, falls down the fire escape – and Blaine is responsible for his murder. (I think that pans out legally? If you have a weapon you intend to kill somebody with and accidentally kill somebody else I’m pretty certain it counts as premeditated murder?) Amazigirl and Mike escape; Mike goes to the police and gives his evidence. Hopefully CCTV footage backs him up.
I think for it to count as premeditated murder there would have to be solid evidence that he brought the hammer along specifically for the purpose of murdering someone, which despite him implying and eventually saying (?) he was going to, IIRC he’s never directly said or even implied that was his plan from the outset. From what he told Ross, he’s consistently said he just wanted to “scare her a little” or something so she drops out of school.
Not saying he DIDN’T plan on murder – just saying, I haven’t yet seen anything that could be used as evidence. So it might be downgraded to a crime of opportunity or a crime of passion it whatever you call it.
Also, if the hammer doesn’t directly kill Ross, but causes something to happen which results in his death, would that fall more into the category of manslaughter than murder? Not sure specifically where the dividing line is between those two.
I’m quite curious about what you said about the legal issue though, and if anyone knows the answer, I’d love to hear it.
Also, isn’t “attempted murder” also a crime? IF Mike really is recording or on an open call, “Sorry, you knew too much” is pretty damning, whether he succeeds or not… And “also I just don’t like you” isn’t gonna do him any favors with a jury.
Just to note, if Blaine killed Ross, nothing he ever said to Ross could be effectively used in his defense, because the only witness to those words would be dead. Also, most of them wouldn’t really help him much in court. They might save him from a murder charge, but they’d convict him of a lesser charge. I’m pretty sure that Blaine would be doing his best to not get any charge.
Attempted murder is a crime, but considering that Mike went for AmaziGirl’s help rather than the police, I’m doubting he’s on an open 911 call. Proving attempted murder can be rough.
Good job, AG.
Blaine, Toedad, suck eggs.
I can’t help but love Amber/AG so much when she’s being a superhero. ♥
We already know a climactic duel is the proper procedure for dramatically defeating corrupt dads!
And now on a rooftop no less. Exquisite.
Rooftop fight against two formerly defeated Evil Dads who teamed up? IT HAD TO HAPPEN.
Amazi-Girl just made an off-Spring attack.
Toedad is probably reconsidering getting involved with masked shenanigans.
I seriously thought Blaine had some plan involving simple kidnapping in some scary realistic way, but this super hero stuff makes me feel relief because of how the whackiness makes Blaine pathetic.
So, Blaine doesn’t know Amber is Amazi-Girl. Does Mike? I’m too lazy to go through the archives tonight.
Not so far as we know. But a mask and a cape won’t do much to disguise Amber from the people who know her.
Other than everyone who knows Amber who’s seen Amazi-Girl in the mask and cape.
With the possible exception of Dina.
Mike does. and Blaine does.
Her name has been droped. Multiple times here.
its just that Mike and now the craptasticdad are associating the two personalities as different.
mike because he understands
craptastic dad because he’s insane.
Blaine hasn’t actually acknowledged any of Amber’s several name drops between Mike and AG; he could still plausibly not know, although it would drastically reduce my perception of his intelligence if that were the case. Like, even lower than it already is.
Mike hasn’t officially been confirmed one way or the other, but signs are definitely pointing to “yes”.
I haven’t seen anything that even hints that Blaine knows or that would really give him a clue here.
This scene is the first that even hints that Mike knows. It would surprise me if he did and never used it in his prodding of Amber – at least not on panel.
I don’t think either of them know, though I’m not quite as sure about Mike as I was a week back.
Amber’s name has been dropped because she’s Blaine’s daughter.
Also Mike and Amazi-Girl have both repeatedly stated that she is, in fact, not present. Mike initially said she was still at the party.
Yeah that’s my one sticking point on Mike knowing. If he
knewbelieved Amber was still at the party (she said she was trying to leave without saying goodbye to him specifically, and presumably succeeded), and he knows AG shares a body with her, why would he go running around in Dunn Woods hoping to run into her on the basis that she’s seen there frequently?Of course he could have just been pretending he didn’t see her leave, which I guess would make the rest make sense again.
I kind of assumed he was lying to throw Blaine off of her.
Also, I don’t think Blaine would believe Amber capable of anything like what Amazi-Girl can do. He has a fixed vision of her that’s colored by his contempt.
He doesn’t believe she’s capable of being at a party either, so Mike lying she’s there doesn’t really help with Blaine either though.
Enough information has been said around Blaine to pull it all together, but he probably hasn’t been paying attention. And to be fair, it’s hard to listen, fight, and deliver your supervillain monologue at the same time.
Maybe enough to leap to that conclusion, but I don’t think it’s that obvious even if he had been paying attention.
But then, I don’t think Mike knows either.
I suspect Mike knows but for the record keeps stating that Amber‘s not there, because another case of self-Defence would look bad on her record even without the vigilantism.
Oooh, good point. If he really is recording or something, that would be a pretty damn good alibi! And he said she was still at the party, too!
The recording of the casual discussion of how Blaine is going to murder everyone will sound real nice to the cops, if Mike called them. . .
I don’t think we know if Mike and Blaine’s dialogue was recorded. We are assuming it was (since Mike is smart and it’s a good idea) but Mike may have just been hoping someone (AG or other witnesses) we ould hear and step in.
I’m just wondering if at some point, Ross is going to ask “are we the baddies?”
Honestly wondering this too. Because this is pretty serious shit, even for someone like Ross.
So that’s a powerful kick to the head, and there’s no way his head isn’t about to hit the wall.
Blaine’s dead.
Given the rest of the scene, I’m not convinced he’s going to need more than a second to recover.
EVERY TIME YOU POST SOMETHING I THINK I WROTE IT AND QUESTION MY SANITY. D:
Like, more so than usual, I mean.
We should be so lucky.
Well this pushes my narritve that two will die via fall off.
I’m still guessing CraptasticDad or Ross+Mike not Amazigirl.
I gotta say though.
how the hell. mechanicall, did she pull that off?
It was a suspension system. The suspension of disbelief.
Amazi-Girl is immune to gravity.
No, that’s criticism.
Gravity is just the universe criticizing your altitude.
I’m not entirely sure. I think she managed to get a normally-associated-with-a-trampoline amount of bounce off the roof of the car (or she could rival Gabby Douglas in terms of ability to apparently defy gravity…).
Or possibly she ran and got a decent amount of tension in the rope and then effectively swung and jumped almost as if she were pole vaulting to come in from that angle like that? That could sort of almost make sense and *possibly* not break physics?
“Buck-iiit…” — Gavin Free
BLAINE: “Hello darkness, my old friend…“
“Hello darkness, I’m ready to succumb.”
That’s not how anything works.
Yeah, but isn’t it fun??
Fun is less important than unyielding adherence to real-world physics.
You wanna have fun or what?
I need an adult.
“… Dude, you are the adult.”
“… Shit. I – I need an adultier adult!!!”
I sure hope Blaine loses at least a tooth. He deserves it.
He deserves to lose a nut, at the very least.
She parted him from his ball-peen?
Oooooh, nice! Also, literally true!
…and a Boot to the head
Blaine is lucky. Few novices experience so much of Ti Kwon Leap, so soon.
And one for Toedad and the Blaine.
How is this whole “plan” thing going for you, Blaine?
He’ll tell you when his jaw isn’t held together with wire and staples.
So, hopefully never?
Buckets full of Blaine.
I can haz bucket?
It’s 7 am and I’m too tired to make a clever remark. Comic good, kick Blaine more, 9/10.
Amber’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up.
Oh nooooo. Not the face. That’s where he keeps all his super sneaky and totally not moronic ideas
Side thought. Does Ross only own surplus camo pants? I’ve only know two people who did that. One straight up called himself a professional hunter after having a single deer trophy. I realize this is a weird nagging thought. But he seems like the type who would go down that train of thought.
I like surplus camo pants because they are surprisingly comfortable and have loads of pockets.
And I also love them as cheap yard and field work pants. But we have yet to see him in anything else.
Phuck Fysics! WABLAM!
GO AMAZI-GIRL! Right in the face!
Jesus, I was gonna ask what’s her workout routine. But I remembered it’s deadlifting hoodlums.
Also squirm-lifting hoodlums. If you don’t believe that’s harder, you should try it sometime. Except not, because that’s vigilantism, which is a crime. But you can try squirm-lifting a consenting wrestling partner.
Use that hammer on their kneecaps next. Make sure the bastards can’t walk again!
Given your behavior, Blaine, I barely care what you think about Mike. “And I don’t like you” I’d really only listen to from people who are less jerkassy and/or more innocent than Mike. It’s not like you’re Joyce or Ethan.
I mean I don’t really think that’s a valid reason for ANYONE to murder a person, but yeah, it’s especially ridiculous coming from Blaine.
That’s probably the main reason he’s choking Mike as he prepared to strike – he knows if Mike could talk, he would be ALL over that remark.
The body armor IS the bucket. Keeps everything together for easier transport.
Lot of discussion about the hammer and I was curious, so I did an experiment. The left picture shows impact of a moderate blow with a ball-peen hammer on strong flooring material resting on six layers of rigid foam core. Second pic shows obverse of that impact. Third is on a narrow piece of oak that is about 2x the cross-section of a human ulna.
Didn’t do much to the oak, which I expected, but it would certainly have hurt like hell. If the flooring material even remotely approximates the human skull though…
Dude, awesome. Nice picture quality, too!
With regard to the human skull… Do you happen to have a watermelon handy?…
Thanks! I couldn’t see the watermelon video in the article but went looking on YouTube, and yikes!
Jesus! Mike,all those moms fucked and you never learned to fight?
“I said SNEAK ATTACK, bongo!”
sems blaine has figured out the split personality thing or hes really as dumb as every other omic villan out there ….
I think Mike’s next strategy is to sprain his fingers by attacking them with is throat.
Also I’m wondering if the dad is going to have a moment of clarity and realize this isn’t right and just leave or do something to turn on Blaine ….
But I’ll give ya 3-5 odds most of this could have been avoided if Joyce had just answered her damn phone instead of this acting like 5-year-old petty “bad girl” thing she thinks she’s doing because she was getting warned toedad was out of prison by Blaine
I’m still waiting for Joyce’s dad to show up on campus … he’d care enough to make sure his daughter knew, even if she doesn’t answer the phone.
You know what we need? More grappling hook. Everything is better with more grappling hook.
Mabel agrees!
Maps, shush.