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✪ Jonathan H. Gray says: “Beware the Tide Pods of March” ✪ @jongraywb.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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Kekeflipnote
The journey to a billion dicks starts with a single “douchebag”.
Interesting that Joyce would choose that swear word to begin with, rather than one of the more commonly-used ones… xD
We all gotta start somewhere. I remember my first swear word was “fuck.”
You and Julia Wertz.
Her Topatoco site has a coffee cup featuring the center panel. I can just see Joyce’s face the first time she sees Sarah drinking from it (and Sarah would totally own one).
Mine was Cocksucker. Some random driver cut us off, and my dad forgot there was a toddler (me) in the backseat.
She’s already said “shit”, once within her mom’s hearing!
And of course a memorable instance of “Damn”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/language/
Cross “asshole” off the Joyce cuss list.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/occasionally/
Dina keeps score
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/pg/
Joyce is going to ride a billion dicks, now that’s what I call ambition.
She’d make Roz jealous
That seems like a reasonable progression from drawing a billion dicks.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/cleaning/
One gives you RSI, the other, STDs.
“The journey to a billion dicks” sounds like a terrible fantasy novel.
But still better than 50 Shades?
Not that kind of fantasy.
But yes. Still better.
When did the time on the server get fixed?
Month or two ago. It’s already drifted about a minute.
There are ways for servers to continually adjust their time so they don’t drift. NTP and all.
“Repent, Harlequin!” said the Ticktockman.
Baby steps, Joyce. Baby steps.
I mean if my baby started saying “douchebag” at random I’d be proud too, so yeah she’s getting there
Someday she’ll learn that morality and conscience did not originate with the bible. When she does, it will make sense. She might even wonder how she thought that morality was solely the property of the religious.
Y’know. If she thinks about it.
Look at the pedestal she has Dorothy on – she knows *other people* can be good and also atheists. She has just never really thought about her own sense of morality without the framework of the bible, methinks…
I can see her assuming she’d go off the rails and trying it out then realising that bad wild child behaviour just isn’t her, with either hilarious or tragic results long the way.
Hilagic?
Tralarious?
hmmm.. it’s definitely going to be one of those.
Lopez on Lucifer went through it. It was tragicute.
Perfect gravatar for this comment! ^_^
i was raised to believe that morality was a property of the religious, or rather, the exact right kind of christianity. For a long time i shunned getting too close emotionally to non-christians…. until i met people who are actually morally good and not just dogmatically pretentious. That was all i needed at that point to turn my back on that religion.
awww, honey. It’s okay to start small.
Like the word ‘phooey’.
Yeah, I was expecting a smaller start, honestly. Dunno why.
And later on she’s gonna think about boys and not cry afterward!
Madness, I tells ya!
Ironically, this just proves that Joyce is too good and pure for this world.
Bets on who or what catalyzes her first “fuck”? I’m betting it’s Carol.
Ooh, yes, let it be Carol.
Also re: last storyline’s ending, what are the odds Hank and Carol divorce?
I’m betting it’s going to happen shortly after Joyce’s sister comes out to them/is outed/however it happens.
Thought that already happened with Toedad…
Joyce is so bad at like consciously rebelling
Joyce is too cute
At least she hasn’t made a cube of the chairs yet
Yet.
Give her time.
but Joyce doesn’t even have ONE cat yet…
She has, just two sides are transparent.
*plays whatever version of “I’m Not In Love” you feel like hearing on the hacked Muzak*
There’s like thirty or forty covers of the thing! I remember when the original was a hit. Man.
I remember it too. It was the year I graduated from high school. Yes, I’m old.
It’s the original 10cc version for me.
What does it say about me if that’s the only version I know of?
Not that isn’t, you understand. Why, I must know a half-dozen off hand, in at least three different genres. Yeah, maybe more.
Yeah…I’d never heard any other version until just now when I looked up covers and turned on the Pretenders version (the only band/performer I really like on the list)… Hell, I don’t remember ever hearing the original until it was used in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Hercules version, obviously.
In other news, I’ve been playing Hades and now there are TWO characters named Megaera I’ve crushed on.
Oh, wait. Totally different song. Damn, I was off-base.
All us olds, getting our old on. Ah, 10CC. Man, wasn’t nostalgia better back then? Having said that, I hated high school so much. Bookish kid in a sports-obsessed country town. Hooray for cities and the freedom to escape!
joyce talking to god like https://66.media.tumblr.com/f1d2b4ca1f69ed6d6e9e936944d082b7/tumblr_omhtvr9AC71txwpgyo1_1280.png
CYELATM is great! That’s such a mischievous little face.
For a second, I thought she was on her knees in panel 1, and that her knee was in fact her ass, sticking well out.
I’m sure Butts would be equally disappointed at not getting to add this to their gravatar collection.
She’s sitting cross-legged, I think.
Yeah, I figured that out. But in the immediate…
Pace yourself, Joyce. Gotta work yourself up to the complex blasphemies.
You’re there when, like Cyntia Heimel, you can tell someone to sit the cocksuck down.
*Cynthia*
And so, it begins
Whoa we got a badass over here. Don’t nobody try to stop her.
Oh dear. She’s going mad…
In the words of the immortal Eartha Kitt:
Prim and proper, the girl who’s never been cased,
I’m tired of being pure and not chased.
Like something that seeks it’s level
I wanna go to the devil.
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
Joyce Slipshine Countdown Clock has moved a little bit closer to zero
A few milliseconds closer, but that is technically closer.
Darn it all to heck!!!
WTF Joyce you gotta go big and start calling people J*rks
J… Jorks?
G*sh h*ckin’ d*rn that m**nie-h**d.
STAND BACK, WE’VE GOT A BADASS!
REBEL ON, GIRL!
Seriously, this is one huge step for a person who still KINDA believes that there actually may be an all-powerful being staring directly at her from outer space.
What is a god to a nonbeliever?
The nonbeliever is either Joyce of Godzilla.
Ceiling Joyce. Is watching you…
The sheer Joyce adorability is becoming hazardous to my curmudgeonly misanthropy.
The cuteness hurts.
You and Sarah both.
*Snif* She’s come so far.
….. This strip kinda makes me wonder how someone currently ensonced in religious fundamentalism would see Joyce’s arc through the past 9 books up to now.
Everything from her moving in, to the party, to dating Ethan, to the acceptance of Becky, to the fight against Becky’s dad, to…now.
Well… ya gotta start somewhere… *lol*
Well done!
And you see this raises another concern as far as her up bringing is concerned. This notion that God is only where the church is or in other context god is only where any self designated big town hall claiming to be a church is.
She mentioned to Ethan early on, around the time when they started going out, that while she believes God to be everywhere, in church he’s like double-ply.”
And she also thinks (or at least, at one point thought) that all the dead people you know who are in heaven can see you all the time and judge you. Presumably God can do the same.
I know different people take different paths out of belief. I wonder if she’s going to panic about blaspheming the Holy Spirit, I’ve seen that a lot. I don’t remember if I did, but I did go through some heresies on my way out.
The reason that’s a great one to panic over is that no one knows what the sin against the holy spirit is. Is it despair? Is it masturbating? Is it yawning during the Lord’s Prayer? Is it talking to an atheist without trying to convert them? Is it eating shellfish? No one has a fecking clue…
Uh-oh. She’s slowly becoming the Anti-Joyce.
Joyce, in all seriousness, you KNOW better. Your atheist friends have shown you that’s not true.
…. well, okay, they do sex-sin stuff and curse-sin stuff… except I’m pretty sure the Bible doesn’t list saying obscenities as a sin, but whatever…
When I was young, I was vaguely taught that it was a part of that “taking God’s name in vain” stuff. It took longer than I’d like to admit for me to realise how little sense that made.
Then again, most of the religious things I was expected to believe weren’t particularly logical, so I sort of just accepted it along with the rest (until I didn’t anymore).
There’s still a spot awaiting you on the scoreboard, Joyce. I’ve got your color set and everything.
It’s good step, I’m waiting for the F-day.
As it was foretold, the heavens shall crack asunder and smittens will rain down on us!
“God is dead”
“Let me guess, and we killed him”
“Nah, it was Joyce Brown all on her own”
Honestly, in a fight between God and Joyce, I’m not betting any big money on God.
“Bow your head to wrath.” — Joyce, to God
You might have taken the Church out of your weekly schedule but you can’t take the Church out of your heart.
For training wheel swears, Joyce can attempt some Good Place cussing.
Speaking of the Good Place, it was kind of a giveaway regarding that show that they couldn’t swear properly. At least “fork” is hilarious.
Never really occurred to me. Just assumed it’s a nice place so of course that’s why it can’t be done.
Joyce have tried this whole swearing-thing before.
It was not super effective.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/duhduh/
*gasps*
*clutches pearls*
*faints*
*Drops monocle*
Sacré bleu, not ze monocle. Vite, ze smelling salts!
Not a problem, just go to SMBC, they sell spares.
Oh man, look out, firecracker on the loose!
Not going to church.
Still talking to God.
Baby steps.
Aw man, I feel sorry for Joyce. Having your rug pulled from under you this completely is hard.
The single-chair version of the Cube of Solitude involves flipping it on its side, and hiding out on the floor and against a wall.
“D-d-da-dee-buh-de-da, oh, fiddlesticks!”
–Porky Pig (probably at one point, did this)
It sorta looks like Joyce is calling God a d-bag. Here for this.
I’ve always wondered why “douche” and variations became an insult, but no other personal hygiene products are. You just don’t hear people get called “tampons.”
For that matter, even sex-toy-derived name-calling is pretty unusual – I’d think calling people “dildos” and “cock rings” would be more popular, for example, especially considering they’re ripe for layering double-meaning in there (call someone a dildo when they’re being both a jerk & insincere, i.e. a fake dick; someone’s a cock ring when their relentless arrogance is interfering with everyone else’s fun, since cock rings both inflate & retard orgasm).
I mean, my understanding is douching isn’t even that common (and not recommended by most gynecologists), yet I heard it used for insults for literally years before I even figured out what it actually WAS. Why that, but not more common genitally-related paraphernalia? Condoms, dental dams, butt plugs, strap-on, menstrual pads & more are all right there & yet it’s just various synonyms for the genitals themselves, the bodily extretions they produce, and this one outlier of the douche. It’s weird,
My (admittedly casual) “research” has heard the word “dildo” used as an insult.
I blame Manfred Mann
Douche is a pointless waste of time and money that certain people are still somehow convinced is a necessity. Sounds like a pretty biting insult, to me.
Condoms, on the other hand, are actually useful and help prevent unwanted diseases. We also don’t need them to be used as an insult, because it implies there’s something bad about them.
If I had to take a guess, I’d say dental dams aren’t exactly common knowledge, so as an insult, it would probably just fly over people’s heads. And let’s be honest, even if you explain what they are, an upsetting amount of people would just shrug and say something like “I don’t go down there anyway”.
The dildos, strap-ons, and butt plugs are solid, though. I’ve heard a few brownnosers and overly-clingy couples referred to as butt plugs because they always seem to be buried up someone’s ass.
“Dental dam” also just isn’t that snappy.
‘Round these parts, the person’s more likely to think you’re calling them Dental Dan, probably as some sort of dig at their oral hygiene.
*gasp*
she needs to establish a support network, at this point she’s basically a child vulnerable to all of the peer pressure and bad influences.
Does she not already have Dorothy and Sarah (and Becky, to an extent)? And Jocelyne? Maybe her dad?
Has she actually shown any real sign of being vulnerable to peer pressure and bad influences?
Other than the bad influence of her upbringing, of course.
Carol would think she’d succumbed to bad influences, but Carol’s wrong.
If anything, Joyce have shown to be extremely resilient against the bad influences of her upbringing.
I suppose there is this whole thing
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/personal/
Acher, is that you???
This brings back memories of my twelve year old self, telling my parents I was too sick for church so I could lie depressed in bed and experiment with saying “fuck”. Willis, you get it.
I just feel that she has made her joyce.