Discussion (142) ¬
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Ph03n1x24 @ph03n1x24.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Sheryl Weikal (The Leftist Lawyer) @leftistlawyer.com ⋅ 11h
Polling USA @usapolling.bsky.social ⋅ 12h
onion person @junlper.beer ⋅ 15h
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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Wait, grapple guns aren’t real?
Okay, Batman is kinda shady so I accept that I can’t always trust him, but are you really telling me that both Mabel Pines and Webbigail Vanderquack would lie?
Your logic is impeccable.
Mabel Is magic all on her own, that grapplehook was probably a toy before she touched it
You think Grunkle Stan would give fake weaponry to children?
The man’s a crook, but he has standards.
A grapple gun is not technically a weapon (unless you’re Rorschach).
Of course they are real. They’ve been around for better than a century, and played major roles in scaling the cliffs at La Pointe du Hoc on D-Day during WWII. They’re just not very portable is all, although since Amazi-Girl’s jumpsuit apparently has a way to access “hammer-space” to carry such things as a grappling hook, caltrops, and suction cups (and condoms and Transformer figures) that shouldn’t matter.
They exist but are much much slower than superhero/video game versions and not really for going from building top to building top. They’d help Amazi-girl climb straight up a building carrying a lot more weight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y45wj0-lgjg
Not handheld ones at least
The really weird thing about superheroes and grappling hooks is their swinging momentum (or rather, the moment it disappears into thin air where everyday physics would have them ram the wall).
Wouldn’t swinging between buildings require something even taller than said buildings to grapple-hook onto in the middle?
It would have to be a bridge or horizontal flagpole, too. If it was another building, wouldn’t she just splat into the side of it like Wile E. Coyote into a cliff? (Including the subsequent spread-eagle fall to the ground, complete with whistle sound effect, cloud of dust, and Amazi-Girl shaped crater.)
More upsetting realism is that the forces felt at the bottom of the swing are enough to at the very least rip your arm out of your socket. It’s unlikely you’d be able to hang on at that point, though.
Yeah, there was a circus acrobat in the early 20th Century whose aerial act dislocated and reinserted her shoulder joint repeatedly on every performance. Eventually it killed her.
Only if your intent is to land directly on the second building’s roof. (Actually, in that case, you’d really want the grapple point to be directly above the destination building. Between can work but would be less reliable. Even on the other side would be better than between.)
Just to swing between buildings, even if the distance between them is greater than the height of the destination building, you’d just need to take in the slack while en route (so you don’t hit the ground), and climb whatever distance is left (which is what Batman and Spider-Man usually do, if they’re trying to go from rooftop to rooftop, instead of in a window), probably, in the case of a grapple gun, with the help of the same motor that takes up the slack.
And THAT is where the hand-held grapple gun falls flat – the requisite motor will not fit in a man-portable device.
Maybe Carla can build her an Amazi-Drone to grapple off of, or ride around like Green Goblin.
Wouldn’t you want the grapple point to be between the two so that you reached the destination just about the top of your swing, rather than at the bottom where your speed is highest?
It would need to be higher than your target, of course.
Mostly it’s comic book physics, don’t think about it too much.
No, you want your destination to be about the middle of the swing to reduce the chances of missing and having to do the whole goddamn thing over again. (Assuming you don’t plummet to your death, which is also a much higher likelihood when swinging over, not to.)
The grapple point has to be high enough that the bottom of your swing doesn’t painfully intersect with the ground. If it’s the center point of a circle, your start and end points can be anywhere on the bottom half of that circle (minus a few feet to make room so you don’t go splat on the bottom).
Which most building to building swings means ‘at or near the roof’.
I’m honestly not sure of the scenarios y’all are imagining…
If you’re on a 20 foot tall roof, and you grapple off something 30 feet away from you but less than 30 feet off the ground, you’re gonna have a bad time.
And that’s so far outside of the standard ‘superhero swinging between buildings’ scenario as to be a non sequitur.
That approach leads to smacking into your target at full speed. You also have to be much higher to start with, while if you’re aiming near the end of the arc, you just have to be enough higher to account for wind resistance.
We’re assuming here that you’re a superhero with the requisite parkour style skills and ability not to screw or otherwise plummet to your death. Because, if you’re not – don’t do this.
Which, in the most likely scenarios, is about the speed of a good jog.
If you’ve got the skills to have a good chance of not overshooting nor undershooting, you more than have the skills to break that hit.
Theoretically you could grapple straight to something, Batman/Just Cause style, but the forces required would be enough to instantly pulverize your bones.
There are real grappling guns, as well as guns that do the same thing as grappling guns and are the basis for the comic version of them but are used in an entirely different way….
The US Navy and other navies use special guns that fire a line to a target on another ship that connects the two ships together so people and equipment can go between the two, for decades it’s been how ships got refueled and replenished before helicopters.
my dreams of being Darkwing Duck rapidly disintegrating
Alright kids, place your bets. Who is it?
At least one of them is Faz.
ultra carla
Impossible. Being a superhero makes you cooler, and Carla is at maximum cool already.
And I know she’s aware of what an arithmetic overflow is, so she wouldn’t risk becoming the female Urkel.
It could be Schtickshift.
Asher.
Lucy.
asher
yep, asher
It’s the league of evil dads. It’s a trap.
Blaine, possibly with Asher’s help.
Lucy.
Ronald Reagan
Bizarro Amazi-Girl
The real Amazi-girl: Sal.
Amber? It’s possible AG simply doesn’t _remember_ being at the library.
Amber, but the one from the Shortpacked! universe.
Amber. Without even realising it, she’s split into two separate personas – Amazigirl, and Amber who dresses up as Amazigirl. No, three; also regular Amber who still has feelings for Walky.
Blue Mask Amazigirl, Yellow Mask Amazigirl, Amber dressed up as Amazigirl, Amber, and Amazigirl dressed up as Amber.
Amazi-girl’s being silly. Carla could supply her with grapple guns.
Something tells me dear old Blaine has found himself an Amazi-poster.
It’s a set up. Asher is posting fake sightings to lure her out.
Maybe, but I don’t think Blaine recruited him just to make some fake posts on social media. He wouldn’t need someone with actual access to campus for that, there has to be more to his involvement.
Also, I think Blain Recruited Asher mainly to mess with *amber*; and his dialogue suggested he either doesn’t know they’re same person; or at the very least his plan was a bit longer term.
It might not be Asher specifically, but it’s definitely a set-up
(Alt Text) I’m reminded of a poem about fishing line somebody read on ALL THINGS CONSIDERED many years ago.
I dunno…get a flare pistol from a nautical supplies store and custom make your own shells for it?
Was it Sandra Beasly’s poem “Ukelele”?
“If there is to be one instrument of love, not love vanished or imagined, but love, it’s this one.
Fit a melody in the crook of your arm and STRUM.”
Wait, that was Morning Edition, never mind. Still a wonderful poem.
Agreed, wonderful poem. … Not Dorothy Parker, but wonderful. Not everything needs to be sarcastic…. Sometimes it helps, but not always.
Hmm, I was hoping that Roller-Derby was a sufficient outlet but obviously that isn’t the case. What is going to happen if this continues and her dad finally figures out who Amazi-girl is?
He will be oddly proud, and resentful.
Then he will try to turn that into not needing to pay for school costs.
Which will turn into him having to cover psychological costs.
My guess is, someone is going to get hurt playing around in a cape, and it won’t be Amber.
She’ll blame herself, however.
Basically, she has someone running needed, but unasked for, interference. She could go walk into a lab building or the student center right now, (after changing, of course), and have dozens of witnesses that Amber and Amazi-Girl both exist at the same time in different places.
Instead, she’ll try to put a stop to it.
Is this going to be the “I’m not wearing hockey pads” scene from The Dark Knight?
Hoo boy.
Well, it’s nice to see AG again. Eh? Ehhhh?
We haven’t seen actual Amazi-Girl in 9 months.
I feel like there’s a baby joke there, but I can’t think of it.
Maybe you should have just left a pregnant pause?
*badumtsh*
Bravo!
Despite how good Amber looks in her AG outfit, and I have to admit she looks great, it was nice to think she was gone. But we should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.
I never thought AG was gone for good. I’m just glad it’s not immediately gone to shit with her looking for her ‘sidekick’.
Though I am really looking forward to the confusion of the next Sal/Amazi-Girl meeting.
Oh, so am I! With equal amounts of interest, excitement, and dread.
I see she replaced the blue mask.
My DC Comics pitch: Damage Control knockoff, but they solely clean up grappling hook debris. There must be gargoyles in Gotham City that are just totally wrapped in cables.
The Wayne Foundation provides a surprisingly generous endowment for gargoyle maintenance and repair in Gotham City. Though technically it has to incorporate a waterspout to be a gargoyle, otherwise it’s a grotesque.
Thank you. It needed to be said.
Goliath doesn’t have a waterspout!
Or does he…?
That’s why the grappling hooks always work – it’s got to be easier to snag a cable than a wall. In the early days, a superhero might have to try two or three shots, but now, it’s almost a guaranteed latch.
An Admiral Ackbar moment…
Indeed.
Blaine just went insane and is doing the same thing as the Motherfucker from Kickass: make an army of criminals dressed as comic villains just because of a childish tantrum. The result will either be Blaine being hospitalized and then threatened by a family member of one of the victims of the criminal raid, or losing his legs because of a shark.
I’m voting for shark. Surely he has a few outstanding loans he’s failed to keep the interest paid up on.
Landsharks are amazingly rare. Prhaps one is needed on Campus, just for Blaine?
Landsharks are amazingly rare. Loansharks less so.
Re: the SNL skit- Amazing, amusing, and either one works for me. Landshark, loanshark,– either way, someone’s gonna lose some legs.
Freshwater sharks can swim up the Ohio River into Indiana.
Amber hasn’t watched enough Mythbusters.
That’s right, take the bait, you unsuspecting clown.
So if we ignore the obvious and assume that Amazi-Girl has an evil twin running around, what would we call her?
Izama-Girl?
Anti-Girl?
Amazing-Woman? (The Knight Templar version from a bleak, dystopian alternate universe.)
Lucy.
Ordina-Girl
The OG Sci-Fi magazine Amazing Stories was eventually met with a rival in Astounding Stories.
So Amazi-Girl’s competitor should perhaps be Astoundi-[Girl/Guy/appropriate noun].
I like your thinking
Ordinary Boy
No. He dresses up as “Moonshadow.” He has business cards and everything!
Who knows what evil lurks….?
In fairness, the Revenant was kind of under pressure at the time, and he’d been listening to a lot of Cat Stevens…
I know it’s likely related to Blaine’s desire for revenge, but it’d be hilarious if this is just, like, Daisy and a squeeze’s elaborate roleplay ritual.
We’ll know if Daisy’s involved if we hear about a boob window.
This would be my ideal, honestly.
I….kind of thought she gave this up when she joined roller derby, that was supposed to be the thing to work out rage instead of this. I guess I totally misread that.
That was the idea. Sadly, dissociation doesn’t work that way.
Fat Nerd Voice: Um, ackshually, Amazi-Girl could conjure up a magic grappling hook when chasing Toedad and did a bunch of stuff way less realistic than Spidermanning across town
Fanboy voice: Oh my god oh my god Blaine actually made Asher and/or Toedad dress up as cartoon super-villains to fight Amazi-Girl he really did make a Legion of Doom holy crap that’s amazing that’s so silly and great and this is going to be the best DoA storyline ever Billie is going to have to deal with alcohol withdrawal while Amber has to deal with fighting gorillas on the moon I’m legitimately no-joke jazzed for this.
That grappling hook was just a rope with a hook, nothing magical. Amber’s talking about the grappling guns that somehow attach and serve as a swinging point, and also can lift the user while retracting. Those are definitely not real.
Aw, and I always thought the grappling hook was the least magic thing about magic kaito
I’m assuming these “Amazi-girl sightings” are fake, and it’s an attempt by Blaine to get her to go into his waiting trap or something.
I expect that, but I’d -like- them to be a friend of Asher posing so he can stage a beating up
My guess is Amber has managed to start a trend.
And when the first one or two of her imitators lands in the emergency room with a dislocated shoulder or broken leg, (or cracked skull,) she’ll feel extremely guilty.
My guess is it would be more like “I didn’t tell those idiots to copy me, if I jumped off a cliff, would they?”
Don’t bring logic into this. This is the same girl who was emotionally abused by her father to the point that she retreated into a shell.
I would find it perfectly in character for her to assign every measure of blame to herself.
It’s all her fault. This is a mantra her father has taught her since she was little. She can recite it in her sleep. It’s all her fault.
Well, Amazi-girl, the DID manifestation, might take your position. Certainly any right-thinking member of her peer-group would take your position. Just not Amber.
What if the second one is completely unrelated, like somebody leaving a D&D meet at the library?
That would seem more likely if The Revenge of The Asshole Dad hadn’t been set up a few strips ago.
We have not seen Amazi-girl since the confrontation with Sal.
I wonder if she feels different about her purpose i life now that Amber could handle the source of the trauma herself.
I wonder if Amazi-Girl knows about the confrontation with Sal.
I don’t think ‘confrontation’ is the right word for Sal’s last interaction with AG, or her interaction with Amber immediately after that.
The first ended up with Sal leaving annoyed, but a fairly minor annoyance at AG, who was being a dork.
The latter started with Amber aggressing at Sal, but Sal extended a hand of peace, which Amber accepted.
Ok im surprised to see so many people assuming this is blaine doing something when its implied he doesnt realize its her, and not her disassociating which has been way more heavily hinted at.
Does dissociating let you be in multiple geographical locations at exactly the same time?
She wasn’t said to be at the library right at this moment.
She was said to be there earlier and doesn’t remember it.
The secondary post was accurate- she’s on a roof.
I really doubt AG is forgetting where she’s been as herself within the same night. Blaine said he wanted to get even with AG along with pestering Amber, so combined with multiple sightings of her that she seems to find suspicious, it’s really not surprising that a lot of us are connecting those two dots.
Theoretically, Amber could have been out at the library dressed as Amazi-Girl earlier. It’s unlikely, but she’s done it before.
She can’t be the “weirdo in a cape” right now though, unless the location is this roof.
WAIT WHAT IF IT’S…
“shtickshift”…
READ SHORTPACKED DAMMIT
In the Shortpacked! tags, it’s “Schtickshift.” “Shtick” is the most common English transliteration of that Yiddish word, but “schtick” sometimes makes an appearance, because transliteration.
Anyway, DoA is supposed to be a standalone, no?
The DoA version of Schtickshift.
Don’t be ridiculous.
It’s obviously Spider-Car.
Lucy running around in an Anti-Amazi-Girl costume would be funny on some levels.
Okay, I really want to know who’s the other cape. I suppose it could be Asher trying to draw her out. I sort of hope not because that would mean:
1) Blaine really has a bizarre imagination;
2) Asher is nowhere near as smart as he seems.
I thought that maybe MAYBE…
Sal got a costume
Sal sort of already has (or at least had ) a costume. I think that she consciously stepped away from her vigilante urges when she gave the jacket and gloves part of it to Joyce.
Oh no! Could it be the Blaine-created nemesis, Anti-Amazi-Girl?
I want to imagine thatnwhathisname’s solution to’slander amazi girl is dressing as her and running around
Aha! It’s a capey-cat
Calling it now… “IT’S A TRAP!”
Well, of course it is. It’s such an old comic-book trope that Amazi-Girl must know this unless the power of Narrative Magic is clouding her mind.
Could be she knows:
“Well, of course it’s a trap. That’s why I had to check it out.”
That’s my standard reply when that line comes up in video games.
“It’s probably a trap.”
Well, of course it’s a trap. The question is, do we learn more by avoiding it, or tripping it?
what about moon shoes? moon shoes are real, right? just do a BOING from one building to the next.
Like a chump (Hey) x6
I did it all for the nookie!
Some weirdo in a cape…. I wonder who is.
It’s either Joyce (because that somehow seems inevitable) or Asher ready to take his rightful place as Amazi-Girl’s new nemesis.
Or sal
I WANT HER TO GET A ROBIN COSTUME OK?
Why would Sal dress up as Robin? Have they even met?
Maybe Amber and AG has developed a third alter. She’s not actually on that roof, that’s just a manifestation of her subconscious. The phone is her mind’s way of telling her what the other AG is doing. (Does dissociation work like that? I don’t know. Maybe it does in this universe.)
It’s a Trap!
And here I was hoping she’d retired from this nonsense and tried to have a healthy outlet for her anger. Silly me. Then again, this is not a comic about people making good and responsible choices, I guess.
It’s certainly not a comic about people instantly recovering from mental illness of panel.
It’s a trap!
It will surely bring huge problems. But I think it’s sweet how Walky wants to help the girl he likes by becoming the sidekick of her second personality, who probably don’t like him.