With the impulse control and consequence consideration Joyce has displayed thus far in this storyline, what are the Vegas odds on her throwing a breadstick to momentarily distract Harrison and then bolting for the door?
I’m more interested in the Vegas odds concerning how long it takes Joyce to realize she basically just asked Jacob to have unprotected sex with her.
I’m thinking it won’t dawn on her until later that evening, or even possibly when she tries to sleep. A nice micro-brick joke for a month or two from now in real time, perhaps?
Shortly afterwards, while Dorothy is quietly studying in her room, Joyce walks in looking like she just walked through a wind tunnel, slaps a receipt for condoms down on Dorothy’s desk with a note that reads “Let’s get dinner at 7,” and walks back out.
I know you’re referring to Dorothy daring her to buy condoms earlier, but honestly, combined with the note about dinner, it sounds like Joyce is propositioning Dorothy.
Either Joyce is just as sheltered as IW!Joyce and isn’t aware of how they’re made, or she’s open to the “somebody stick a turkey baster up there and idgaf who’s the donor”
Or, ya know, renting a premade one
Me: Problem is pooping out a kid will 100% kill me, so you’d be stuck as a single parent.
Hubby: …I will rent it out! Someone else can have it, until it can pee in a toilet and talk. Then I will take it back.
Me: OMG YOU ARE THE WORST DAD, LIKE A TRUMP
I broke up with someone when I was eightteen that decided they wanted to get married and have my child after only a month together. She was also super-christian and didn’t want to have sex until we were married, but also didn’t really understand what sex was.
It now reminds me way to much of Joyce, and will likely ruin the comic for me.
College friend of mine’s eldest daughter entered high school while her twin sisters were still poopin’ diapers. Said high school daughter was surrounded by friends who wanted babies NOW. High school daughter managed to convince some of her friends that babies weren’t all (in my friend’s words) “Soft cute dolls that loved you all the time.” My friend figures eldest daughter was single-handedly responsible for a couple-years downward blip in the teen birth rate in their county.
I’ve found the durability of that cuteness is highly correlated with how closely related they are to you.
If they’re your own children, they’re still really cute. If they’re niblings, they’re sort of cute. Your best friends kids, it depends. Other people’s children, they turn into monsters at the moment they expel biological waste.
Considering someone cute, even while they’re shitting, peeing or puking on you doesn’t preclude not appreciating that they are shitting, peeing or puking on you. These two sentiments need not be mutually exclusive.
Wow, Joyce has baby fever like crazy. I have never understood the desire to have children, can anyone explain it to me? Or is it something you have to feel for yourself?
I’ve known I definitely wanted children since I was 12. I was 30 when I had my first (10 years into my relationship with the husband)… Now pregnant with the 3rd even though the 2nd is still at the adorable violent hooligan stage…
ive also wanted kids since 12 or something like that
and…. i am a masochist
….ok checks out o_o
For reals though, it seems to be very biological of a drive. Even if philosophically i believe adoption is a better option in everyway, and having carrying my own would (personally) be something selfish and a bit egotistical, i….. desperately want to be able to get preggers. Not likely to ever happen, but i had a mommy instinct since forever ago, and i end up being the mom of the group often. i try being a good one.
I decided I wasn’t down for it when I was 10 and haven’t wavered. My youngest sibling is 10 years younger than me, and I was the oldest kid in the family, so I got to help with diapers and things a lot. And Barney. I got to supervise a lot of Barney viewings.
Whenever my mom mentions grandkids, I bring up Barney as the reason she’s gonna have to rely on one of her other offspring for that, and she’s like “That’s fair”. She hates Barney as much as I do.
my older brother has 4 kids. i never wanted them, but having to babysit them (they were very badly behaved because their mom felt guilty having to punish her “precious babies”) just made me even more sure.
everyone always says “you’ll change your mind!” im almost 30 and have not changed my mind yet, soon it will be too late even if i do. at least my parents have other grandkids, so they dont really mind. all they’ll get from me is grandcats.
I like being an uncle. Holding a baby is great. Not great is a lot of the other stuff, like when my niece filled her diaper and threw up on me at the exact same time.
Seconded, being an uncle is amazing! You get to enjoy all the baby cute and you’re not around long enough for even the less cute things to really get annoying.
Yep. You get all of the cuteness while missing 95% of the grossness and loudness. Until there are two kids, at which point you get drafted to look after and entertain the older one.
I think it depends on the person.
I’ve basically always wanted kids.
My wife wasn’t sure until later – late 20s, early 30s. And even then, wanting kids, the idea of raising said kids still kinda terrified her.
That was 10 ish years ago, and now we have two (and, having successfully had two, have both had our tubes tied to prevent any more).
Me abd my partner talked about it a little early on in the relationship and we both wanted kids. Now we’re nearing 30 and she’s starting to have more and more second thoughts. She has valid arguments not to want kids. It’s difficult because I don’t want to be the asshole that pressures her into anything as this is a life-defining thing. On the other hand, I want to be a dad. I want to have kids and am willing to wake up multiple times at night because of that.
Fun stuff
If her concerns are mostly pregnancy focused, then yeah, I hear that. Pregnancy SUCKS.
I will point out that adoption is an option. Prior to her change of heart in the opposite direction, my wife thought maybe adopting would be a better way to go.
Partly pregnancy related (and everything physical related to having a child) but also the large cost in time and money. We would have someone completely dependent on us two for at least a few years. That’s quite a sacrifice.
Adoption did cross the discussion, but I would like to have at least one child raised from scratch. Not sure why.
It might be something you just have to feel yourself. I’m only 4 months in with no memory of why I wanted to have a screaming beast dig her claws into my face because the bottle she just spit out is not in her mouth, but also she rolled onto her side today and I’m just so thrilled about it?
Definitely your mileage may vary. I’ve known I don’t want biological kids since I was 8 and realized babies mean birth. I’m mildly tokophobic and even without that, I don’t really want kids. I don’t have the temperament, patience, or blood pressure to handle kids 24/7/365. I need the knowledge I will be able to hand them back to someone at some point. That way, the messes and freaking out and stressful situations are someone else’s problem. Sometimes I think it MIGHT be nice to adopt a kid, but it never sticks long. It’s always like ‘Hmm, I wonder – and wondering over, no thank you.’
Yeah, I get that. Giving birth is awful. Like, one of the worst experiences I have ever had.
C-Sections, on the other hand? They’re great. Like, a 1000% better than going through labor.
I can only speak to my own personal experience with my two kids, but going through labor dealt both physical and mental trauma to both mother and child. On the other hand, the C-section was over in seconds but for the stitching up, produced a happier and healthier baby, and had less recovery time.
Turns out, being sliced open is actually less bad for you than trying to push something out an opening that just isn’t quite large enough for it. Who knew?
(and, as always, Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, just someone who got to compare the two IRL)
As I said somewhere else in this thread, I hated being pregnant. It was like having PMS for months with occasional vomiting.
On the other hand, my wife enjoyed her pregnancy. I mean, she still thought huge portions of it sucked, but she enjoyed feeling a new life growing inside her and how connected to our kid it made her feel.
I just felt like an extra in an Aliens movie.
Plus, being pregnant completely kills my sex drive, which I do not appreciate at all.
**sigh**
It’s a good thing that the reward (our kids) were so cute and amazing and wonderful. But yeah, bring on the “growing kids in tubes” tech. Fuck the natural process.
“An extra in an Aliens movie” sums up my feelings pretty well actually. XD
See, if we could grow kids in tubes, I might consider kids again. Proooooobably still not happening, but I might think for the two seconds I sometimes give adoption. XD
It’s like my brain is chanting “cute, small, squishy” over and over again and then if that doesn’t work it starts giving me ideas of outfits one could force on a small blob that’d be adorable. If all else fails “you make a thing and then you have legacy of at least one thing made, you have success if you make something and this could be your something! Plus it’s SMALL”
So idk
Brain demands small items
I think it’s basically like wanting a puppy or kitten or something and by the time you realize your mistake there’s a tiny human being who you love and who depends on you for there every need? And sometimes people want a Legacy to feel like they exist after their death or a little critter to teach in hopes it makes them feel good about themself to see their opinions impressed on another person?
But in the infant stage, it’s definitely thinking it’s cute.
I think for some women it might be because if hormones. Like, when my best friend saw a baby she’s go awwww, because tiny human with big eyes. Never really worked for me.
But most normal humans have the need to defend or help a child, so this is just the next step that makes sense, right?
Nope. Seen it happen to my best friend though. And guess what, she has a kid now! :> Been some time since I’ve seen her, but I know that she is a great mom.
Based on my interactions with recent mothers (I have a lot of sisters), I seriously doubt it’s like that.
There’s clearly something chemical affecting their brains, because (let’s face it) babies actually aren’t cute. They’re pudgy and wrinkly and distorted, and quite frequently loud, smelly, and disgusting. It’s quite common to see recent parents looking like sleep-deprived abuse victims. There’s very definitely something more than “I want a sandwich” going on there – something more even than “I am lonely and want something to cuddle”.
Biological brainwashing, that’s what it is. Almost like the species is wired in such a way to propagate itself or something.
I mean, I don’t think pugs or any “ugly” dog is cute. I barely think any dogs are cute. But most people would fight mean that.
Lots of people think babies are cute, and we’re biologically programmed to desire them (though this programming isn’t as strong or present at all in some people for a wide variety of reasons that I am not qualified to ponder, as I have always wanted kids.)
My daughter is adorable to me. Back when she was little, it was how soft and delicate she was with everything. That being said, she will be my only biological one most likely, and I will adopt any future children I desire.
I feel the same – I’ve never wanted to have children and have always been uncomfortable around babies even as a young child (as well as finding the prospect of childbirth terrifying and off-putting). I get along fine with older children, as I’ve discovered since I started teaching piano for a living; but I feel I fit better in a mentor/teacher role than that of a parent.
Fortunately my parents are understanding about it as my mum felt similarly until she was in her mid-thirties, and even then she didn’t feel any desire to have more than one child.
I’ve always been a natural mom. Wanting to take care of my brothers, my dogs, my roommates and later my parents. The thought of raising a child, helping them with their homework, trying to instil values and accepting the values they develop themselves makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Putting it off until I am responsible enough and have a stable enough career guts me sometimes.
Am parent – I knew I eventually wanted kids, but I wasn’t like Joyce here. I was perfectly happy to be “auntie” at a few kids. I never felt connected to them or any special feelings – then I held my niece (I was 23?) and it clicked. Not baby rabies, just like, hey, this wee one is cute! I like them. I care.
When I met my husband the need to breed was super strong. I don’t totally understand it, but I wanted to have kids with him. Only felt that way about one other person, it didn’t work out.
It wasn’t till after we had a few kids that I get super excited over babies. OMG. I don’t want my kids to be that small again or anything – what I REALLY want is for a close friend to have a baby so I can borrow the baby, give mom and dad a break, and get my tiny person fix- OMG I want to play with/snuggle babies.
My youngest will be 5 soon and I love it. I want them to grow up (I don’t understand when other moms say they wish they would stay small forever), I want them to become their own people…. So for me at least, holding a baby brings back all the good feelings and memories from when they were small. I have nothing but love and compassion for the little shit machines. For me, babies made me more patient, more soft. The love you feel for your own kids is insane. I don’t know if that helps, but thanks for listening to my TEDTalk. I’m going to go hug my slightly grown babies.
For me, it helps that I consider kids awesome people. (They’re kinda like adults, but without the pretension.) I’m a teacher, so I already know I really like other people’s kids — plus apparently I’ll get to love them EXTRA, like super unfathomable love, deep in my brain chemistry. That sounds pretty incredible.
It’s okay that I’ll be very unhappy when they puke on me and keep me up at night. From all reports, and from what I know about myself, the wonder of it is definitely worth the couple years of slogging through diapers and whatnot.
Also of note: my mom says that people present child-raising as either Amazing or Terrible, but in fact, it’s a bonkers roller-coaster; the highs are incredible, the lows really super duper suck, and you rocket between them. You don’t have good days and bad days like in commercials – it’s by the half-hour, it’s by the minute, and it can change instantly. So that’s… fun? I don’t know. It’s an adventure, all right.
I’m not ready tomorrow, but, I’m pretty sure I’d like to have that adventure with a great partner someday.
… just kidding. As theorized above, I’m pretty sure this is just setting up a brick joke where Joyce realizes the implications of her words many hours later and has a comedic freak out over her implied sexual proposition.
I’m assuming hours later because I can’t imagine either Jacob or Harrison being impolite enough to point out the implications over dinner, and thus Joyce would have to come to the realization on her own.
It’s an algorithm based off your email address. If you capitalize different letters, you’ll get a different character. You can also hit the “Get a Gravatar” link next to the Name field to set a custom one.
I’m assuming there is no dinner. That Harrison unexpectedly came up for lunch instead of dinner, not in addition to.
If not, just brazen it out and play it completely straight. Send Joyce off and meet up with Raidah for dinner. Introduce her as your girlfriend with no warning or mention of Joyce and watch his reaction. 🙂
“All that effort”? Speaking as a dad who changes diapers, I do not complain when it was just a bad fart. I’m like, “Whoo, I thought I was going to have to change a poop, and I don’t after all!”
Jaime looks big enough to be in the “put up a fight” stage and galassos may not have changing tables in the men’s room (too many places don’t), so yeah it could’ve been an ordeal.
How do you get the almost-a-third, are they in childcare for that time?
I more typically hear that new parents can’t get enough alone-time to use a bathroom.
JOYCE: Decided! Yes! Want! Give! Right here on this table!
JACOB: Hnnnnggg ahhh!
HARRISON: Nice one bro!!
JAIME: Be be be be.
RAIDAH: One pizza pl- GASP! You CAD!!
Joyce, there’s a big difference between “right now” and “after 9 months of moderate body horror climaxing in a body horror orders of magnitude worse than what happened to your toe”.
Joyce has probably been progressively programmed to believe that it is the most wonderful and fulfilling thing that could happen to a woman. She’s also probably either not been told about the discomfort and pain or programmed to accept it as something she must go through to be true to her gender identity.
Or maybe she hasn’t been programmed to believe pain is the worst thing ever or that a natural bodily process is horrible.
Everyone gasps that I only had OTC strength Tylenol with my first birth and I mean… Yeah it hurt, i needed stitches, but if you have reasonably competent medical professionals then you’ll heal and it won’t be a big deal.
Recovery after top surgery was waaaaayyy worse.
I’m a birthing daddy so maybe women are taught pain is worse or something? I’ve also got fibro so everyone is all “eee pain” and y’all that’s just Tuesday to me.
Personally I consider pregnancy to be a deep compassion immersion program for the hell that is the first two years of life. Childbirth included.
Every pain your baby experiences is LITERALLY THE WORST PAIN OF THEIR ENTIRE LIFE.
Every birth is different, and you have a couple more painful experiences to compare your’s to. My mom’s births weren’t bad either, but I know a lot of women who said it was the worst thing ever.
My actual birth wasn’t that bad. The first time they tried to induce me and it failed ranked up there with some of the times my body has tried to kill me. Not the worst but a very close second… and I’ve had my ribs fractured by a horse.
50+ hours of labor.
Contractions less than 10 minutes apart the entire time, preventing sleep.
And that’s before my baby got stuck and had to be pulled out with the medical equivalent of a plunger with literally four nurses pulling on it.
The entire affair leaving the kid too tired to breastfeed – literally something an infant can do while sleeping – requiring a stay in the NICU.
She definitely hasn’t been told about the crushed organs, the rib breaking kicks, the monopolized nutrients, the silent screams of a parasite inside of you
… seriously, why do people want to get pregnant after learning all the details? Besides hormones and biological drive
My mom even loved pregnancy and childbirth. She’s a crazy hippie like that, found it all moving and amazing and such — not through programming (her parents were far more intellectual in their experience of the world), but because she legit found it that way.
So, it’s possible!
My mom had one pretty-difficult birth (two days of labour, which meant she then had to have a C-section, and the recovery from her particular C-section was hard), one more typical-difficulty induced birth, and one crazy-easy birth (out in half an hour; the dog got there before the doctor did). She always refused painkillers, because she didn’t want to miss a second (but is also 100% on board with pregnant people choosing to do what is right for them).
She gets mad when the TV shows pregnancy scenes with the women screaming their heads off — she says it just wasn’t like that at all, that it’s just because directors like to show women out of control, and that it terrifies people with such inaccurate imagery.
Like, yes, it hurts, and it’s work, but, have good doctors, do your breathing, hope for the best; apparently it’s not normally like in the movies, and it’s worth it. – my mom.
I know many women who would disagree with your mom. Every birth is different. I’m glad your mom’s weren’t too bad, pain wise anyways, because those ones have to suck.
My mom said the being pregnant and giving birth part didn’t bother her. She would have been happy to have more, as long as she didn’t have to raise them.
(I was the last of three, I hope that isn’t a reflection on me, but…)
That is a very vague, backhanded, pompous non apology that attempts to weakly defend your previous arguments and behavior, and just claim they were “misdirected”.
On a different note, I do think the apology is weak myself, but maybe don’t go into quite so much detail why unprovoked. That ought to have bit. It kinda undermines the higher ground you assume to be standing on.
FWIW the world is going to hell, and the last few weeks have felt like it’s doing so on fast forward. It can be all too easy to let frustrations build up and end up venting them at people that don’t deserve it. I’ve done it, and felt awful afterwards.
The key is to recognize when it’s happening and to step away. Better to find another outlet and save the fight for the actual enemy than lash out at people who aren’t at fault.
That last panel is kinda reminding me of when Fuckface was placed on top of Carla’s head in Shortpacked!. Joyce’s sudden blissful grin reflects Carla’s in that scene.
Tomorrow’s strip is one panel of Jamie vomiting and four panels looking EXACTLY THE SAME of Joyce having a breakdown. Ok, not exactly the same. In one of them, her eye twitches.
See, I’m expecting a non-response. She’s clearly been around babies before and you can’t really do that without getting covered in at least one bodily fluid.
I like it when I can get one in gothic architecture, but most of what I get over here is LOADED with gilded woodcarving, which is gaudy as as all get out. It’s as if they’d hired Trump to be their interior designer and I loathe every inch of it.
So back home we had a statue the French gifted us in the park. Gorgeous patina that matched the setting year round. Restoration efforts were funded to find out the thing was plated in gold. Apparently in less than 150 yrs we lost that bit of info… it is now a guilded monstrosity and you can’t go around the round about without the sun smacking you in the eyes as it glints off every angle.
Okay, so no one’s going to talk about Joyce’s creepy “Ha Ha Ha Ha YES” in panel 3? Because like if someone did that before I hand over my child, I would’ve been like, “Um…”
Yeah, no, Joyce is a creep verging on predator. She’s getting away with a shitton of awful behavior with minimal consequences because, as far as I can tell, she’s conventionally attractive and outgoing.
Tone might be lacking. A cackle would be give me back my baby. Little squees and giggles at child would make my child smile and that means mommy break!
Jaime, PLEASE PLEASE puke on Joyce. Because i really like what someone commented a while back about Joyce not being ready for kids measured by all the body functions and body waste types she thinks are gross. She really needs to realize this. If only until 10 years from now (in DoA-time!) when she’s matured more to actually be a good person to parent.
Being around doesn’t automatically equal puked on, especially since she’d probably be around either their mom (who is responsible for babies in her church) or the youth group leader who would be responsible for actually caring for babies.
Joyce doesn’t seem to me to have a lot of experience actually taking care of babies for longer than a few minutes to me. She doesn’t seem like any of the babysitters I know and I definitely wasn’t like that when I was babysitting (mind, my kids were like 4ish so not actual babies but even so).
And a lot of communities like Joyce’s aren’t actually fond of babysitters – why would you need one? Mom’s supposed to be taking care of the kids 24/7. If for whatever reason she needed to leave them (and there are no older sisters who could do it), that’s what aunts/cousins/grandparents/etc. are for.
Also, I have some experience with babysitting, and I haven’t actually been puked on. I did have to learn how to change diapers, but I imagine if the kid was actually mine, I’d have to deal with the puke at some point.
To add on to BBCC’s point, I’ve known some people who seemed similar to Joyce’s family in beliefs, and what some with lots of kids was hire tween/teenage girls to be “mommy’s helpers” rather than actual babysitters. This meant that the mom was still around the house, possibly with other kids or doing household work, while the helper was with other kids, but the mom was still there to handle more complicated/gross aspects.
It’d be weird if she did it out of spite, seeing as this was exactly her end goal. I don’t put it past the realm of possibility of her doing it out of a surge of conscience.
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and THAT EXACT MOMENT is when Jaime decides to drop the bomb
bc we all know who the smartest one in this group is
What, he announces he’s gay?
Well, that WOULD sure cause a stink
With the impulse control and consequence consideration Joyce has displayed thus far in this storyline, what are the Vegas odds on her throwing a breadstick to momentarily distract Harrison and then bolting for the door?
At least when Leslie held that lost infant in Shortpacked, Leslie knew the danger involved.
I’m more interested in the Vegas odds concerning how long it takes Joyce to realize she basically just asked Jacob to have unprotected sex with her.
I’m thinking it won’t dawn on her until later that evening, or even possibly when she tries to sleep. A nice micro-brick joke for a month or two from now in real time, perhaps?
Shortly afterwards, while Dorothy is quietly studying in her room, Joyce walks in looking like she just walked through a wind tunnel, slaps a receipt for condoms down on Dorothy’s desk with a note that reads “Let’s get dinner at 7,” and walks back out.
I know you’re referring to Dorothy daring her to buy condoms earlier, but honestly, combined with the note about dinner, it sounds like Joyce is propositioning Dorothy.
And that was personal lubricant, not condoms.
Well, yes. You have read the kind of things Joyce says to Dorothy, haven’t you?
Either Joyce is just as sheltered as IW!Joyce and isn’t aware of how they’re made, or she’s open to the “somebody stick a turkey baster up there and idgaf who’s the donor”
Or, ya know, renting a premade one
Me: Problem is pooping out a kid will 100% kill me, so you’d be stuck as a single parent.
Hubby: …I will rent it out! Someone else can have it, until it can pee in a toilet and talk. Then I will take it back.
Me: OMG YOU ARE THE WORST DAD, LIKE A TRUMP
Or she’s just high on baby and hasn’t thought through the implications of what she’s saying.
Little early for your biological clock to be ticking, isn’t it Joyce?
I have friends who screamed “I NEED TWELVE CHILDREN NOW” at 18
I broke up with someone when I was eightteen that decided they wanted to get married and have my child after only a month together. She was also super-christian and didn’t want to have sex until we were married, but also didn’t really understand what sex was.
It now reminds me way to much of Joyce, and will likely ruin the comic for me.
Naw, biologically speaking, that’s right on time. Culturally, it’s early.
College friend of mine’s eldest daughter entered high school while her twin sisters were still poopin’ diapers. Said high school daughter was surrounded by friends who wanted babies NOW. High school daughter managed to convince some of her friends that babies weren’t all (in my friend’s words) “Soft cute dolls that loved you all the time.” My friend figures eldest daughter was single-handedly responsible for a couple-years downward blip in the teen birth rate in their county.
Noooo you don’t
Baby rabies!!!
Admittedly, he IS adorable.
Until he shits or pukes on you. Or both.
I can attest that babies remain adorable even while shitting, peeing, or puking on you.
Gods damned babies and their impossible to avoid cuteness.
YMMV. I don’t think they’re cute at that moment. XD
I’ve found the durability of that cuteness is highly correlated with how closely related they are to you.
If they’re your own children, they’re still really cute. If they’re niblings, they’re sort of cute. Your best friends kids, it depends. Other people’s children, they turn into monsters at the moment they expel biological waste.
My parents might dispute that – they love us very much, but they didn’t appreciate my brother and I shitting or puking on them. XD
Considering someone cute, even while they’re shitting, peeing or puking on you doesn’t preclude not appreciating that they are shitting, peeing or puking on you. These two sentiments need not be mutually exclusive.
It’s hard-coded in our genes. We find babies adorable because people who don’t have poor reproductive performance, their kids don’t last long.
It may be hard coded, but that makes the little rug rats not one bit less cuter.
Tbh after my dog had a litter of puppies, irl babies stopped being all that cute to me. Jamie though, Jamie’s a cute Lil sucker
*reprises the Crosby, Stills & Nash on the jukebox because the alternatives are beneath the audience here*
Pfft, whatever.
Baby, baby, I’m taken with the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion
Wow, Joyce has baby fever like crazy. I have never understood the desire to have children, can anyone explain it to me? Or is it something you have to feel for yourself?
I’ve never understood it either. Like, to me, kids are 10000x cuter when I am NOT, in any way, responsible for them.
I’ve known I definitely wanted children since I was 12. I was 30 when I had my first (10 years into my relationship with the husband)… Now pregnant with the 3rd even though the 2nd is still at the adorable violent hooligan stage…
Masochism, I think it’s called 😂😭
ive also wanted kids since 12 or something like that
and…. i am a masochist
….ok checks out o_o
For reals though, it seems to be very biological of a drive. Even if philosophically i believe adoption is a better option in everyway, and having carrying my own would (personally) be something selfish and a bit egotistical, i….. desperately want to be able to get preggers. Not likely to ever happen, but i had a mommy instinct since forever ago, and i end up being the mom of the group often. i try being a good one.
I decided I wasn’t down for it when I was 10 and haven’t wavered. My youngest sibling is 10 years younger than me, and I was the oldest kid in the family, so I got to help with diapers and things a lot. And Barney. I got to supervise a lot of Barney viewings.
Whenever my mom mentions grandkids, I bring up Barney as the reason she’s gonna have to rely on one of her other offspring for that, and she’s like “That’s fair”. She hates Barney as much as I do.
my older brother has 4 kids. i never wanted them, but having to babysit them (they were very badly behaved because their mom felt guilty having to punish her “precious babies”) just made me even more sure.
everyone always says “you’ll change your mind!” im almost 30 and have not changed my mind yet, soon it will be too late even if i do. at least my parents have other grandkids, so they dont really mind. all they’ll get from me is grandcats.
I like being an uncle. Holding a baby is great. Not great is a lot of the other stuff, like when my niece filled her diaper and threw up on me at the exact same time.
Seconded, being an uncle is amazing! You get to enjoy all the baby cute and you’re not around long enough for even the less cute things to really get annoying.
Yep. And when they’re older, you get to spoil them and their parents have to deal with the consequences.
Right? Best set up ever.
This, right here.
Maybe some time later I’ll want kids of my own, but right now I’m fine with being an uncle.
Yep. You get all of the cuteness while missing 95% of the grossness and loudness. Until there are two kids, at which point you get drafted to look after and entertain the older one.
I think it depends on the person.
I’ve basically always wanted kids.
My wife wasn’t sure until later – late 20s, early 30s. And even then, wanting kids, the idea of raising said kids still kinda terrified her.
That was 10 ish years ago, and now we have two (and, having successfully had two, have both had our tubes tied to prevent any more).
Me abd my partner talked about it a little early on in the relationship and we both wanted kids. Now we’re nearing 30 and she’s starting to have more and more second thoughts. She has valid arguments not to want kids. It’s difficult because I don’t want to be the asshole that pressures her into anything as this is a life-defining thing. On the other hand, I want to be a dad. I want to have kids and am willing to wake up multiple times at night because of that.
Fun stuff
If her concerns are mostly pregnancy focused, then yeah, I hear that. Pregnancy SUCKS.
I will point out that adoption is an option. Prior to her change of heart in the opposite direction, my wife thought maybe adopting would be a better way to go.
Partly pregnancy related (and everything physical related to having a child) but also the large cost in time and money. We would have someone completely dependent on us two for at least a few years. That’s quite a sacrifice.
Adoption did cross the discussion, but I would like to have at least one child raised from scratch. Not sure why.
My parents adopted me when I was a few months old and I’d say they raised me “from scratch”.
It’s possible to find a pregnant person looking to give a baby up. Babies get adopted on day one all the time.
The use of “from scratch” in this context made me smile.
It’s lovely to want to be a dad. It’s also fine to not want to create and raise people (adopted or otherwise).
But, if you get to wanting kids vs. not wanting kids, there’s no compromise between those two. One can’t have kids just a little.
Definitely a job for couple’s counselor, if you’re okay with that.
It might be something you just have to feel yourself. I’m only 4 months in with no memory of why I wanted to have a screaming beast dig her claws into my face because the bottle she just spit out is not in her mouth, but also she rolled onto her side today and I’m just so thrilled about it?
Definitely your mileage may vary. I’ve known I don’t want biological kids since I was 8 and realized babies mean birth. I’m mildly tokophobic and even without that, I don’t really want kids. I don’t have the temperament, patience, or blood pressure to handle kids 24/7/365. I need the knowledge I will be able to hand them back to someone at some point. That way, the messes and freaking out and stressful situations are someone else’s problem. Sometimes I think it MIGHT be nice to adopt a kid, but it never sticks long. It’s always like ‘Hmm, I wonder – and wondering over, no thank you.’
Well, you know, preteens need adopting too.
They do indeed.
And I hope someone equipped to parent them does so.
Yeah, I get that. Giving birth is awful. Like, one of the worst experiences I have ever had.
C-Sections, on the other hand? They’re great. Like, a 1000% better than going through labor.
I can only speak to my own personal experience with my two kids, but going through labor dealt both physical and mental trauma to both mother and child. On the other hand, the C-section was over in seconds but for the stitching up, produced a happier and healthier baby, and had less recovery time.
Turns out, being sliced open is actually less bad for you than trying to push something out an opening that just isn’t quite large enough for it. Who knew?
(and, as always, Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, just someone who got to compare the two IRL)
I’ve heard people who have felt similarly! You’re not alone on that score.
Doesn’t help my desire to not be pregnant at all ever, though.
Can’t blame you there.
As I said somewhere else in this thread, I hated being pregnant. It was like having PMS for months with occasional vomiting.
On the other hand, my wife enjoyed her pregnancy. I mean, she still thought huge portions of it sucked, but she enjoyed feeling a new life growing inside her and how connected to our kid it made her feel.
I just felt like an extra in an Aliens movie.
Plus, being pregnant completely kills my sex drive, which I do not appreciate at all.
**sigh**
It’s a good thing that the reward (our kids) were so cute and amazing and wonderful. But yeah, bring on the “growing kids in tubes” tech. Fuck the natural process.
“An extra in an Aliens movie” sums up my feelings pretty well actually. XD
See, if we could grow kids in tubes, I might consider kids again. Proooooobably still not happening, but I might think for the two seconds I sometimes give adoption. XD
It’s like my brain is chanting “cute, small, squishy” over and over again and then if that doesn’t work it starts giving me ideas of outfits one could force on a small blob that’d be adorable. If all else fails “you make a thing and then you have legacy of at least one thing made, you have success if you make something and this could be your something! Plus it’s SMALL”
So idk
Brain demands small items
I mean, it’s only small for a little bit
I think it’s basically like wanting a puppy or kitten or something and by the time you realize your mistake there’s a tiny human being who you love and who depends on you for there every need? And sometimes people want a Legacy to feel like they exist after their death or a little critter to teach in hopes it makes them feel good about themself to see their opinions impressed on another person?
But in the infant stage, it’s definitely thinking it’s cute.
*their
I think for some women it might be because if hormones. Like, when my best friend saw a baby she’s go awwww, because tiny human with big eyes. Never really worked for me.
But most normal humans have the need to defend or help a child, so this is just the next step that makes sense, right?
Seeing your opinions impressed on another person never works out in the long run.
I have a friend who is a parent of two, and he has often described raising small kids as being akin to getting a puppy that slowly learns to talk.
Nope. Seen it happen to my best friend though. And guess what, she has a kid now! :> Been some time since I’ve seen her, but I know that she is a great mom.
I mean… Is there anything you DO want? A pet? A partner? A friendship? A career?
Its like that.
Based on my interactions with recent mothers (I have a lot of sisters), I seriously doubt it’s like that.
There’s clearly something chemical affecting their brains, because (let’s face it) babies actually aren’t cute. They’re pudgy and wrinkly and distorted, and quite frequently loud, smelly, and disgusting. It’s quite common to see recent parents looking like sleep-deprived abuse victims. There’s very definitely something more than “I want a sandwich” going on there – something more even than “I am lonely and want something to cuddle”.
Biological brainwashing, that’s what it is. Almost like the species is wired in such a way to propagate itself or something.
I mean, I don’t think pugs or any “ugly” dog is cute. I barely think any dogs are cute. But most people would fight mean that.
Lots of people think babies are cute, and we’re biologically programmed to desire them (though this programming isn’t as strong or present at all in some people for a wide variety of reasons that I am not qualified to ponder, as I have always wanted kids.)
My daughter is adorable to me. Back when she was little, it was how soft and delicate she was with everything. That being said, she will be my only biological one most likely, and I will adopt any future children I desire.
I feel the same – I’ve never wanted to have children and have always been uncomfortable around babies even as a young child (as well as finding the prospect of childbirth terrifying and off-putting). I get along fine with older children, as I’ve discovered since I started teaching piano for a living; but I feel I fit better in a mentor/teacher role than that of a parent.
Fortunately my parents are understanding about it as my mum felt similarly until she was in her mid-thirties, and even then she didn’t feel any desire to have more than one child.
I’ve always been a natural mom. Wanting to take care of my brothers, my dogs, my roommates and later my parents. The thought of raising a child, helping them with their homework, trying to instil values and accepting the values they develop themselves makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Putting it off until I am responsible enough and have a stable enough career guts me sometimes.
Am parent – I knew I eventually wanted kids, but I wasn’t like Joyce here. I was perfectly happy to be “auntie” at a few kids. I never felt connected to them or any special feelings – then I held my niece (I was 23?) and it clicked. Not baby rabies, just like, hey, this wee one is cute! I like them. I care.
When I met my husband the need to breed was super strong. I don’t totally understand it, but I wanted to have kids with him. Only felt that way about one other person, it didn’t work out.
It wasn’t till after we had a few kids that I get super excited over babies. OMG. I don’t want my kids to be that small again or anything – what I REALLY want is for a close friend to have a baby so I can borrow the baby, give mom and dad a break, and get my tiny person fix- OMG I want to play with/snuggle babies.
My youngest will be 5 soon and I love it. I want them to grow up (I don’t understand when other moms say they wish they would stay small forever), I want them to become their own people…. So for me at least, holding a baby brings back all the good feelings and memories from when they were small. I have nothing but love and compassion for the little shit machines. For me, babies made me more patient, more soft. The love you feel for your own kids is insane. I don’t know if that helps, but thanks for listening to my TEDTalk. I’m going to go hug my slightly grown babies.
That’s lovely, thank you for writing it.
(I know so many folks who are childless by choice, but, it’s an adventure that I’ve always probably wanted.)
For me, it helps that I consider kids awesome people. (They’re kinda like adults, but without the pretension.) I’m a teacher, so I already know I really like other people’s kids — plus apparently I’ll get to love them EXTRA, like super unfathomable love, deep in my brain chemistry. That sounds pretty incredible.
It’s okay that I’ll be very unhappy when they puke on me and keep me up at night. From all reports, and from what I know about myself, the wonder of it is definitely worth the couple years of slogging through diapers and whatnot.
Also of note: my mom says that people present child-raising as either Amazing or Terrible, but in fact, it’s a bonkers roller-coaster; the highs are incredible, the lows really super duper suck, and you rocket between them. You don’t have good days and bad days like in commercials – it’s by the half-hour, it’s by the minute, and it can change instantly. So that’s… fun? I don’t know. It’s an adventure, all right.
I’m not ready tomorrow, but, I’m pretty sure I’d like to have that adventure with a great partner someday.
“Next on the Maury Show…”
I… don’t love what this storyline seems to be setting us up for.
Jacob and Joyce having sex in the bathroom?
**Mike Smile**
… just kidding. As theorized above, I’m pretty sure this is just setting up a brick joke where Joyce realizes the implications of her words many hours later and has a comedic freak out over her implied sexual proposition.
I’m assuming hours later because I can’t imagine either Jacob or Harrison being impolite enough to point out the implications over dinner, and thus Joyce would have to come to the realization on her own.
We need Galasso to offer to solve the problem!
I don’t know about that. It may be giving Jacob an appreciation of the babydrunk explanation.
GET ON WITH IT!
That’s instincts talking!!
I forgot that Harrison was talking about the baby in the first panel, and was somewhat surprised.
See Jacob? This wasn’t about you at all. BABY!
Sorry. No idea why it replied to you…
the strips’s called “Fart” and Walky’s not in it. huh. how’d that happen
Jaime is Walky’s next reincarnation.
So, Jamie is a baby pusher? First cuddle’s free?
Ladies and gentleman; more things you should never say in public when holding with/around a baby.
If she did decide to have one, it wouldn’t be born until around 2062 (that is in the non-DOA universe, anyway).
Time to start with the baby-making, Jacob.
What did YOU think you signed up for?
jacob’s brain went striaght there
also I don’t know how pics are decided.. but I adore when I get this one
It’s an algorithm based off your email address. If you capitalize different letters, you’ll get a different character. You can also hit the “Get a Gravatar” link next to the Name field to set a custom one.
After that last panel, they might have trouble convincing Harrison they’re not a couple… (If there’s any attempt to do so, which I doubt.)
Now why would they do that, when dinner with Raidah’s not for hours? It’ll be fine.
Jacob has a plan.
I hope Jacob has a plan.
Call Raidah and tell her dinner’s off and bring Joyce instead. Problem solved.
I’m assuming there is no dinner. That Harrison unexpectedly came up for lunch instead of dinner, not in addition to.
If not, just brazen it out and play it completely straight. Send Joyce off and meet up with Raidah for dinner. Introduce her as your girlfriend with no warning or mention of Joyce and watch his reaction. 🙂
I mean, if he came to spend the day, I assume they’ll get dinner at some point.
Suddenly, DIET!
Option two has the advantage of giving us a data point on Harrison.
You have an interesting mind.
“All that effort”? Speaking as a dad who changes diapers, I do not complain when it was just a bad fart. I’m like, “Whoo, I thought I was going to have to change a poop, and I don’t after all!”
Okay, but look at Jamie’s little face – he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. 😛
Jaime looks big enough to be in the “put up a fight” stage and galassos may not have changing tables in the men’s room (too many places don’t), so yeah it could’ve been an ordeal.
I took it to mean Jaime was straining and had put in a lot of effort for nothing.
For real, baby has vomited directly into my eyes and I just laughed and asked for a tissue.
Don’t forget Joyce! They’re cute but they also monopolise way over 2/3 of your time, including normal sleeping hours!
How do you get the almost-a-third, are they in childcare for that time?
I more typically hear that new parents can’t get enough alone-time to use a bathroom.
PREVIEW!
For a moment, somewhere in La Porte, Carol pauses whatever evil she’s up to. Her grandma sense is tingling.
But will she still be bragging her daughter isn’t racist?
JOYCE: Decided! Yes! Want! Give! Right here on this table!
JACOB: Hnnnnggg ahhh!
HARRISON: Nice one bro!!
JAIME: Be be be be.
RAIDAH: One pizza pl- GASP! You CAD!!
This story practically writes itself!!
She clearly missed the part about bad farts
From panel 5, I think that Jamie definitely likes crazy triangle-smiled not-the-mama.
Joyce, there’s a big difference between “right now” and “after 9 months of moderate body horror climaxing in a body horror orders of magnitude worse than what happened to your toe”.
Joyce has probably been progressively programmed to believe that it is the most wonderful and fulfilling thing that could happen to a woman. She’s also probably either not been told about the discomfort and pain or programmed to accept it as something she must go through to be true to her gender identity.
Or maybe she hasn’t been programmed to believe pain is the worst thing ever or that a natural bodily process is horrible.
Everyone gasps that I only had OTC strength Tylenol with my first birth and I mean… Yeah it hurt, i needed stitches, but if you have reasonably competent medical professionals then you’ll heal and it won’t be a big deal.
Recovery after top surgery was waaaaayyy worse.
I’m a birthing daddy so maybe women are taught pain is worse or something? I’ve also got fibro so everyone is all “eee pain” and y’all that’s just Tuesday to me.
Personally I consider pregnancy to be a deep compassion immersion program for the hell that is the first two years of life. Childbirth included.
Every pain your baby experiences is LITERALLY THE WORST PAIN OF THEIR ENTIRE LIFE.
Every birth is different, and you have a couple more painful experiences to compare your’s to. My mom’s births weren’t bad either, but I know a lot of women who said it was the worst thing ever.
My actual birth wasn’t that bad. The first time they tried to induce me and it failed ranked up there with some of the times my body has tried to kill me. Not the worst but a very close second… and I’ve had my ribs fractured by a horse.
50+ hours of labor.
Contractions less than 10 minutes apart the entire time, preventing sleep.
And that’s before my baby got stuck and had to be pulled out with the medical equivalent of a plunger with literally four nurses pulling on it.
The entire affair leaving the kid too tired to breastfeed – literally something an infant can do while sleeping – requiring a stay in the NICU.
She definitely hasn’t been told about the crushed organs, the rib breaking kicks, the monopolized nutrients, the silent screams of a parasite inside of you
… seriously, why do people want to get pregnant after learning all the details? Besides hormones and biological drive
What, are you giving birth to a Kryptonion?
I mean YMMV. Some people enjoy being pregnant and giving birth. Birth isn’t that big a deal, imho.
My mom even loved pregnancy and childbirth. She’s a crazy hippie like that, found it all moving and amazing and such — not through programming (her parents were far more intellectual in their experience of the world), but because she legit found it that way.
So, it’s possible!
My mom had one pretty-difficult birth (two days of labour, which meant she then had to have a C-section, and the recovery from her particular C-section was hard), one more typical-difficulty induced birth, and one crazy-easy birth (out in half an hour; the dog got there before the doctor did). She always refused painkillers, because she didn’t want to miss a second (but is also 100% on board with pregnant people choosing to do what is right for them).
She gets mad when the TV shows pregnancy scenes with the women screaming their heads off — she says it just wasn’t like that at all, that it’s just because directors like to show women out of control, and that it terrifies people with such inaccurate imagery.
Like, yes, it hurts, and it’s work, but, have good doctors, do your breathing, hope for the best; apparently it’s not normally like in the movies, and it’s worth it. – my mom.
I know many women who would disagree with your mom. Every birth is different. I’m glad your mom’s weren’t too bad, pain wise anyways, because those ones have to suck.
My mom said the being pregnant and giving birth part didn’t bother her. She would have been happy to have more, as long as she didn’t have to raise them.
(I was the last of three, I hope that isn’t a reflection on me, but…)
This is adorable.
Also jacob getting a first hand view of what joyce meant when she said ‘baby drunk’
Honestly, very cute 10/10 joyce holding babies is the best thing.
She is utter adorable! 😀
I just wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday.
I’m not sure why I let myself take my frustrations out on a webcomic comment section. It was misdirected, to say the least.
No one here is responsible for the sorry state of things, and my tirade was outside the scope of the comment section’s purpose.
This isn’t a Young Liberal’s club, and I shouldn’t have treated it as such.
If you were taken aback or had your feelings hurt, I regret it. I shouldn’t have posted my misgivings where they weren’t relevant.
I’m just tired. But I shouldn’t have snapped. And I shouldn’t have unloaded my emotional baggage, where it would be nothing but confusing.
My new advice is: try not to become bitter. You’ll end up tearing into random people who don’t deserve it.
Once again, sorry, and please enjoy going back to what you were doing.
That is a very vague, backhanded, pompous non apology that attempts to weakly defend your previous arguments and behavior, and just claim they were “misdirected”.
Poor form, and pretty hypocritical to boot.
Maybe it’s just me, but I kind of believe that when someone is trying to apologise you should try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
On a different note, I do think the apology is weak myself, but maybe don’t go into quite so much detail why unprovoked. That ought to have bit. It kinda undermines the higher ground you assume to be standing on.
@Council
What would you have preferred to see?
I agree, at least the first time around. The second time, you really need to give some evidence that it’s real this time.
There’s another exception for anyone in public life who’s apologizing because their PR team told them they needed to.
@Clif
I appreciate that.
Well, I accept it. Doesn’t seem particularly defensive or backhanded to me.
Thank you.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
What argument in particular offended you?
Previous comment was @Fomalhaut88.
FWIW the world is going to hell, and the last few weeks have felt like it’s doing so on fast forward. It can be all too easy to let frustrations build up and end up venting them at people that don’t deserve it. I’ve done it, and felt awful afterwards.
The key is to recognize when it’s happening and to step away. Better to find another outlet and save the fight for the actual enemy than lash out at people who aren’t at fault.
Thanks for understanding. That’s exactly where I’m coming from.
Shouting at those in your boat does nothing to calm the waves.
Adorable, Joyce is on the stars and Jacob is very confused. Also, the baby looks really happy♡
That last panel is kinda reminding me of when Fuckface was placed on top of Carla’s head in Shortpacked!. Joyce’s sudden blissful grin reflects Carla’s in that scene.
Welp, everyone is now correctly positioned for Bagge’s “baby vomit” prophecy to come true.
IT IS FORTOLD!
Tomorrow’s strip is one panel of Jamie vomiting and four panels looking EXACTLY THE SAME of Joyce having a breakdown. Ok, not exactly the same. In one of them, her eye twitches.
See, I’m expecting a non-response. She’s clearly been around babies before and you can’t really do that without getting covered in at least one bodily fluid.
Beyond the triangle grin.
…Nope, I refuse to be sad about this, I can acknowledge it’s wrong and enjoy it while it’s going on anyway.
It’s the same way I feel about Catholicism, in general, fuck that thing, but choir kids are adorable.
Atheist here – I like touring old churches because stained glass, masonry, wood work, architectural wonder designed to inspire awe ect.
I like it when I can get one in gothic architecture, but most of what I get over here is LOADED with gilded woodcarving, which is gaudy as as all get out. It’s as if they’d hired Trump to be their interior designer and I loathe every inch of it.
So back home we had a statue the French gifted us in the park. Gorgeous patina that matched the setting year round. Restoration efforts were funded to find out the thing was plated in gold. Apparently in less than 150 yrs we lost that bit of info… it is now a guilded monstrosity and you can’t go around the round about without the sun smacking you in the eyes as it glints off every angle.
I liked when the kiddos were babies, but the toddler times were where it was at for me. .
Okay, so no one’s going to talk about Joyce’s creepy “Ha Ha Ha Ha YES” in panel 3? Because like if someone did that before I hand over my child, I would’ve been like, “Um…”
Yeah, no, Joyce is a creep verging on predator. She’s getting away with a shitton of awful behavior with minimal consequences because, as far as I can tell, she’s conventionally attractive and outgoing.
Which is realistic.
“Finally, an appropriate blood sacrifice to my Dark Lord.”
Tone might be lacking. A cackle would be give me back my baby. Little squees and giggles at child would make my child smile and that means mommy break!
Jaime, PLEASE PLEASE puke on Joyce. Because i really like what someone commented a while back about Joyce not being ready for kids measured by all the body functions and body waste types she thinks are gross. She really needs to realize this. If only until 10 years from now (in DoA-time!) when she’s matured more to actually be a good person to parent.
You think she’s never been around a baby before?
Being around doesn’t automatically equal puked on, especially since she’d probably be around either their mom (who is responsible for babies in her church) or the youth group leader who would be responsible for actually caring for babies.
As a teenaged girl in a tight knit community odds are she did a lot of babysitting.
Joyce doesn’t seem to me to have a lot of experience actually taking care of babies for longer than a few minutes to me. She doesn’t seem like any of the babysitters I know and I definitely wasn’t like that when I was babysitting (mind, my kids were like 4ish so not actual babies but even so).
And a lot of communities like Joyce’s aren’t actually fond of babysitters – why would you need one? Mom’s supposed to be taking care of the kids 24/7. If for whatever reason she needed to leave them (and there are no older sisters who could do it), that’s what aunts/cousins/grandparents/etc. are for.
Also, I have some experience with babysitting, and I haven’t actually been puked on. I did have to learn how to change diapers, but I imagine if the kid was actually mine, I’d have to deal with the puke at some point.
To add on to BBCC’s point, I’ve known some people who seemed similar to Joyce’s family in beliefs, and what some with lots of kids was hire tween/teenage girls to be “mommy’s helpers” rather than actual babysitters. This meant that the mom was still around the house, possibly with other kids or doing household work, while the helper was with other kids, but the mom was still there to handle more complicated/gross aspects.
I mean, puke is pretty gross, you have to change your shirt.
It’s not gross to the level of foods touching each other.
I think someone’s ovaries just exploded.
Babies: The original Charm Person spell.
I say Sarah is the one who interrupts this and kinda ruins everything or tries to out of spite cuz she was the one who was looking for Joyce.
It’d be weird if she did it out of spite, seeing as this was exactly her end goal. I don’t put it past the realm of possibility of her doing it out of a surge of conscience.
GALASSO: Okay, you shall have a baby. KEN! Do we have any babies in stock?