and Book 20 is when it’s revealed that we were all deceived, for another book was forged, in the land of Ohio, in the fires of Garbage Roof, the Porn Lord Willis forged in secret a master book, and into this book, he poured his malice, his cruelty, and his will to dominate all life
Three for the abductees, fighting martians under the sky.
Seven for the retail workers, in their halls of nostalgia.
Nine for college students, doomed to dumb.
Ahh, interesting. We’d known he was a virgin prior to Dorothy, but to not even have had any crushes, that’s a surprise.
It does kinda frame his… clunky courtship in a somewhat more sympathetic light, at least.
Sadly, Dorothies are now endangered because of the number of concussions they sustain during mating season. And with their reduced numbers, each one attracts more and more suitors, bearing bigger and fancier toys, which exacerbates the problem.
He actually went through his entire sexual awakening in under five seconds, the moment Dorothy mentioned her favorite TV show was Dexter and Monkey Master.
Wow! I forgot about this strip. It actually upsets me a little. Dorothy, the character who took time to study while at the beach when her friends were goofing off somehow still hasn’t studied enough! Just how heavy is this girl’s workload?! Only Sarah can compete with her in a who studies more contest and she’s an antisocial hermit!
It’s apparently a very heavy course load, but it doesn’t help that Dorothy isn’t just looking to pass or looking to do well, the word she used is ‘immaculate’.
Dorothy being in panel could be a red herring, he might mean Billy! He’d have a lot more reason not to want to risk her overhearing too, I imagine she’d mock him hard.
I mean, it kinda is pretty heavy. I am pretty sure Walky would know that she stabbed Ryan, since no shit, Dorothy was there, but that she’s had something like this happen twice is a biggie.
I don’t think Amber wants to do this in half measures, though. If she tells him, she’d want to get this bandaid off in one go, no followup bombshells.
I think Amber is just hoping she’s magically never going to have to tell him ever so much like how she responds to all of her other problems she’s going to jump at any excuse not to deal with it.
I doubt she’s thinking that far ahead. This is brutally hard for her to talk about and he is literally telling her not to, so it’s no real surprise she’s putting it off.
I agree. It’s weird that it’s his sister, but people do intense stuff when in traumatic situations. And so much time has passed. I think it will be weird for Walky to process but not a deal breaker. Also I am really glad Amber was so forthright here! She was totally willing to tell him and now the secret is being consensually saved for later. I for one and relieved at a break from some narrative tension. Sometimes it’s ok to just watch characters I like have lives without all the dramz all the time.
The secret may be consensually saved for later, but since Walky doesn’t know how directly relevant to him it is, that might still come back to bite them.
Especially since Sal’s found out about Ethan now.
If Walky learns about this from a different source before Amber tells him, it may not go over well.
Which is of course the most drama intense possibility.
Why does everyone think that? She’s practically his sister Jesus
Sorry it just pisses me off when a guy and a girl can’t be good friends without shipping. That was basically all of highschool for me
Though he knew her long before then, so there could have been a crush before high school.
Unlikely for the “practically his sister” reasons. Which is also why their relationship isn’t as simple as “bully”.
Mine was either this boy in my kindergarten class or this teen girl who babysat my neighbor and me. I’m not sure if the first one was real or was just me deciding I should have a crush? The babysitter one, I did not realize what was going on for me until years later, even though I told my friends at the time that I “liked” her.
Mine was my elementary school best friend, though I never realized until this year. I always got really annoyed when she had a crush on a new guy and didn’t understand why. ^_^’
On my first day of kindergarten, a boy told me he was going to marry me. We broke up in third grade cause I was tired of him chasing other girls on the playground. 😛
Mine was Punky Brewster.
For those that don’t know, she was a tv show character in the 80s (and possibly 70s as I don’t know if I was watching reruns or not).
Boy on my school bus who used to sit quietly in the back and read while all the others monkeyed around; he lent kid-me Judy Bloom books. Years later he came up to me during one of our formals and asked for a dance. No idea if he remembered me or not. I told him I used to have a crush on him during the dance. No idea if he even heard me over the crashing music.
Biology teacher in fifth grade. I still remember a whole lot of the stuff we learned in that class :3 (Wow, apparently I was kinda late, with 5th grade?)
I was in fifth or sixth grade when I had a dream about two classmates of mine. I think one was hugging me and the other was just sticking her tongue out at me. I developed a crush on the hugger, and put the other one in the friend zone.
We went to homecoming together.
She went home with someone else.
She then put her hands in my (already empty) pockets because we were still dating, nevermind that we hadn’t even seen each other in 2 months.
A girl in my first grade class, which meant I was broken-hearted about being skipped over second to third, because it would mean being parted from her. I was so distraught, I contemplated ending it all… by leaping from the top of an earthen berm that might have been eight feet high, at most.
My desk partner in 6th grade, I think? I was extremely unpopular around that time, and while he was mean to me, he was less mean than the rest of the kids, and sorta just tolerated me.
Although once in high school, I pretended that my cousin (who lived on the opposite side of the country and was actually two years older than me) was my boyfriend who I’d met over the summer, just to get a friend to shut up about “Who do you like?” This backfired in a predictable fashion when I finally confessed to someone. I did actually have a bit of a crush though. Cousin bit aside, he was cute, older, smart and paid attention to me, and we’d only just recently met, then spent several weeks in close proximity. Good recipe for a crush, even if it couldn’t go further.
To be a bit of a cliche, it was the transfer student back in… I want to say 5th grade? Nothing in particular came of it. Lack of confidence (and lack of at-level social skills) on my part.
when i was 8 i had a crush on mewtwo (if you are wondering in the finnish translation all the pokemon names are the same as the english ones) the first time i saw the movie i was afraid of him but when he came back in the show idk i have notebooks thats just drawings and comics of him
then i didnt like anyone again until i was 20 who is real and has hair
Mine was probably a girl I went to school with in fourth grade. I don’t remember her very well because we had different friends and I’m pretty sure her family moved away the next year, but I think I went to her birthday party after school during my fourth grade year. I also didn’t realize my feelings toward her were a crush until years later.
I have no idea what crushes (or romantic feelings in general) are supposed to feel like and I’ve never felt in a way for someone that jumped out at me like “Ah, yes this is that.”
The kid who played Milo in the movie adaptation of The Phantom Tollbooth. I only ever watched it once and I have very few clear childhood memories; it made quite an impression.
My first real, knock me off my feet crush was in sixth grade on this guy I’d been going to school with since kindergarten. I guess puberty hit and I suddenly realised how cute he was (he only got hotter with age). I considered him as “like me but popular”; quiet, smart, reads a lot, Percy Jackson fan. I remember once I had to give him a marker in front of class for some reason and I’ve never been this flustered in my life. Unfortunately, my hair was so short people thought I was a boy, there were rumours that I was a lesbian going around (half right) until everyone realised my crush, and I was just…really gross in general. Probably just creeped him out lol
When I was 4 years old, I had my first crush on a boy called Callum who was also 4/5. I followed him around and we became friends at some point but he had a girlfriend at some point and I felt jealous. But he also told outrageous lies a lot which when I learned of, killed off all interest I had.
I didn’t have another crush until I was 12/13, and that’s my current boyfriend that I’m still with now. I haven’t had any other crushes that I’m aware of.
When I was in bible school (about 4 or 5) I once told my mom I had a crush on a girl and I said “because when she reaches up I can see her tummy”
I was kind of a little perv even back then.
I mean, Amber should tell him soonish because the longer she doesn’t, the more it looks like she’s hiding it from him, but they’re right, it’s okay to take a while to work up the courage to tell him.
Might wanna give him a ‘watch your step’ about the grades sooner rather than later though.
I think she’s more worried about telling him how she stabbed his sister than about telling him she changed his grades at least if that’s what you were implying.
She knows AG went out and did stuff while Amber was asleep at least once. I think she’s commented on being tired because of it, suggesting she’s at least worried about that being more common.
Sure, she’s yelled at her, thrown away the mask and fought off one panicked attempt to take over when she was still conscious, but even if we hadn’t seen AG active, she shouldn’t be thinking she was done.
If Danny shows up the romantic quadrangle would be to awkward, and if Sal shows up Amber would freeze like El Chavo del Ocho when he gets La Garrotera.
So are we placing bets on what the next strip will contain? I am guessing (and/or hoping for) one of these two to finally reveal (read: accidentally let slip) a secret, and it improves their relationship and/or causes a funny reaction face.
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speak of the crush and she doth appear
If only that worked in real life.
It does if your crush is Beetlejuice.
And if you’re crushing on Betelgeuse?
It’ll collapse into a black hole.
She Dorth appear indeed!
Dorothy! Dorothy! Dorothy!
IT’S SHOWTIME!!
Dumbing of Age Book 9: Meh
on the copyright page it says that this book was forged in the fires of Garbage Roof, which means it glows blue when crushes are afoot
and Book 20 is when it’s revealed that we were all deceived, for another book was forged, in the land of Ohio, in the fires of Garbage Roof, the Porn Lord Willis forged in secret a master book, and into this book, he poured his malice, his cruelty, and his will to dominate all life
Damn him, for he is the Dark Lord Willis, despoiler of Parent-Child relationships and slayer of Ruths.
He’s only slayed one Ruth!
How do we know that none of those redshirts who were killed over the run of It’s Walky! weren’t also named Ruth?
And he did that with integrity, no regrets
Damn, damn, damn. Where’s the +1 when you need it?!
one for the Porn Lord on his porn throne
A porn throne doesn’t sound very sanitary.
I bet it’s sticky.
to sit in the Porn Throne you must pay the Sexy Price
That’s why it gets covered. Always practice safe sits.
Uneasy rests the tushie of the King.
Three for the abductees, fighting martians under the sky.
Seven for the retail workers, in their halls of nostalgia.
Nine for college students, doomed to dumb.
One for the Porn Lord on his Porn Throne, in the land of Ohio where the restaurant HQs lie.
Dumbing of Age Book 9: Sad Takes is What We’re About
Dumbing of Age Book 9: You’re Not Gonna Look At Me The Same Way Ever Again
I mean like it’s been 3 days
Ahh, interesting. We’d known he was a virgin prior to Dorothy, but to not even have had any crushes, that’s a surprise.
It does kinda frame his… clunky courtship in a somewhat more sympathetic light, at least.
He went through his entire sexual awakening in like fifteen seconds between first laying eyes on Dorothy and throwing a toy at her head, in the universally accepted manner for indicating interest in Dorothies.
That wasn’t the comic I was expecting. It is, however, the comic I should have secretly hoped for!
What a wonderful system.
Sadly, Dorothies are now endangered because of the number of concussions they sustain during mating season. And with their reduced numbers, each one attracts more and more suitors, bearing bigger and fancier toys, which exacerbates the problem.
Gotta be careful one doesn’t chuck a Metroplex at her.
At least one of those are harder to aim than a Primus or unicron. Those things are hefty.
He actually went through his entire sexual awakening in under five seconds, the moment Dorothy mentioned her favorite TV show was Dexter and Monkey Master.
Wow! I forgot about this strip. It actually upsets me a little. Dorothy, the character who took time to study while at the beach when her friends were goofing off somehow still hasn’t studied enough! Just how heavy is this girl’s workload?! Only Sarah can compete with her in a who studies more contest and she’s an antisocial hermit!
It’s apparently a very heavy course load, but it doesn’t help that Dorothy isn’t just looking to pass or looking to do well, the word she used is ‘immaculate’.
He did basically tell Joyce that no girls piqued his interest before, partly because they didn’t share his interests.
Dorothy being in panel could be a red herring, he might mean Billy! He’d have a lot more reason not to want to risk her overhearing too, I imagine she’d mock him hard.
*Billie. Why do I never remember to keep an eye on autocorrect with her until I’ve already hit post?
I mean, it was kind of obvious. That’s why it was so weird that he hooked up with amber immediately after
Are we sure his first crush wasn’t Asma?
Dangit, Walky, there goes that narrative tension, at least for a while. Where are we going to get more on such short notice?
Oh, hi Dorothy!
…
: (
Amber, “I stabbed a girl who took my best friend hostage” is not as horrifying a secret as you think it is
That girl is, y’know, his sister, so that does add a layer to it.
And was furthermore unarmed and in police custody by that point.
I mean, it kinda is pretty heavy. I am pretty sure Walky would know that she stabbed Ryan, since no shit, Dorothy was there, but that she’s had something like this happen twice is a biggie.
I don’t think Amber wants to do this in half measures, though. If she tells him, she’d want to get this bandaid off in one go, no followup bombshells.
I’m not sure if he knows the details, but he already knows that she’s the one who saved Dorothy from Ryan.
I think Amber is just hoping she’s magically never going to have to tell him ever so much like how she responds to all of her other problems she’s going to jump at any excuse not to deal with it.
I doubt she’s thinking that far ahead. This is brutally hard for her to talk about and he is literally telling her not to, so it’s no real surprise she’s putting it off.
“I stabbed your sister after shed been apprehended and disarmed and after the situation was over” sounds pretty bad tho
I agree. It’s weird that it’s his sister, but people do intense stuff when in traumatic situations. And so much time has passed. I think it will be weird for Walky to process but not a deal breaker. Also I am really glad Amber was so forthright here! She was totally willing to tell him and now the secret is being consensually saved for later. I for one and relieved at a break from some narrative tension. Sometimes it’s ok to just watch characters I like have lives without all the dramz all the time.
The secret may be consensually saved for later, but since Walky doesn’t know how directly relevant to him it is, that might still come back to bite them.
Especially since Sal’s found out about Ethan now.
If Walky learns about this from a different source before Amber tells him, it may not go over well.
Which is of course the most drama intense possibility.
Plot twist: Billie is just off-panel.
I did kinda think it’d be her, though I guess Walky, despite his jokes on occasion, really does care about Billie platonically.
Dammit I need to join the Patreon 5 minutes ago
Walky’s first crush was a support pillar in the IU lobby?
He likes the strong, silent type.
He needs someone to support him in these trying times. It’s a good foundation for a relationship.
Someone to bear his load.
Someone to take his load.
#thereifixedit
If it is built to code, it should contain enough reinforcement to support his load.
Hey if that thing falls, there really will be a crush.
I hear she’s a real pillar of the community
….and in conclusion, nothing bad happened to Dorothy’s productivity this day.
*follows up Culture Club with Laura Brannigan’s “Gloria”*
It Billie
…No?
Why does everyone think that? She’s practically his sister Jesus
Sorry it just pisses me off when a guy and a girl can’t be good friends without shipping. That was basically all of highschool for me
What actually makes it more annoying is that Billie was his high school bully. I’ve never had anything but contempt for my bullies. :/
Though he knew her long before then, so there could have been a crush before high school.
Unlikely for the “practically his sister” reasons. Which is also why their relationship isn’t as simple as “bully”.
Will everyone act like responsible adults in this confrontation, or will Walky pull a Walky and make things worse than they need to be?
TUNE IN NEXT TIME!!!! Same DOA Time, Same DOA Channel. XD
I’m sure nothing bad will happen and everything will be fine
Talk about your first crushes, go.
Mine was either this boy in my kindergarten class or this teen girl who babysat my neighbor and me. I’m not sure if the first one was real or was just me deciding I should have a crush? The babysitter one, I did not realize what was going on for me until years later, even though I told my friends at the time that I “liked” her.
Mine was my elementary school best friend, though I never realized until this year. I always got really annoyed when she had a crush on a new guy and didn’t understand why. ^_^’
On my first day of kindergarten, a boy told me he was going to marry me. We broke up in third grade cause I was tired of him chasing other girls on the playground. 😛
Mine was Punky Brewster.
For those that don’t know, she was a tv show character in the 80s (and possibly 70s as I don’t know if I was watching reruns or not).
I did get my first kiss in kindergarten, if we’re only talking real people we actually met.
I think her name was Raven.
Boy on my school bus who used to sit quietly in the back and read while all the others monkeyed around; he lent kid-me Judy Bloom books. Years later he came up to me during one of our formals and asked for a dance. No idea if he remembered me or not. I told him I used to have a crush on him during the dance. No idea if he even heard me over the crashing music.
Biology teacher in fifth grade. I still remember a whole lot of the stuff we learned in that class :3 (Wow, apparently I was kinda late, with 5th grade?)
I was in fifth or sixth grade when I had a dream about two classmates of mine. I think one was hugging me and the other was just sticking her tongue out at me. I developed a crush on the hugger, and put the other one in the friend zone.
We went to homecoming together.
She went home with someone else.
She then put her hands in my (already empty) pockets because we were still dating, nevermind that we hadn’t even seen each other in 2 months.
A girl in my first grade class, which meant I was broken-hearted about being skipped over second to third, because it would mean being parted from her. I was so distraught, I contemplated ending it all… by leaping from the top of an earthen berm that might have been eight feet high, at most.
My desk partner in 6th grade, I think? I was extremely unpopular around that time, and while he was mean to me, he was less mean than the rest of the kids, and sorta just tolerated me.
Although once in high school, I pretended that my cousin (who lived on the opposite side of the country and was actually two years older than me) was my boyfriend who I’d met over the summer, just to get a friend to shut up about “Who do you like?” This backfired in a predictable fashion when I finally confessed to someone. I did actually have a bit of a crush though. Cousin bit aside, he was cute, older, smart and paid attention to me, and we’d only just recently met, then spent several weeks in close proximity. Good recipe for a crush, even if it couldn’t go further.
To be a bit of a cliche, it was the transfer student back in… I want to say 5th grade? Nothing in particular came of it. Lack of confidence (and lack of at-level social skills) on my part.
when i was 8 i had a crush on mewtwo (if you are wondering in the finnish translation all the pokemon names are the same as the english ones) the first time i saw the movie i was afraid of him but when he came back in the show idk i have notebooks thats just drawings and comics of him
then i didnt like anyone again until i was 20 who is real and has hair
anyway i feel very called out by this and yesterdays comic
Mine was probably a girl I went to school with in fourth grade. I don’t remember her very well because we had different friends and I’m pretty sure her family moved away the next year, but I think I went to her birthday party after school during my fourth grade year. I also didn’t realize my feelings toward her were a crush until years later.
Mine was a blond guy in a 1960s TV show.
Honestly, that all the context I need.
Was it a spy show?
I have no idea what crushes (or romantic feelings in general) are supposed to feel like and I’ve never felt in a way for someone that jumped out at me like “Ah, yes this is that.”
The kid who played Milo in the movie adaptation of The Phantom Tollbooth. I only ever watched it once and I have very few clear childhood memories; it made quite an impression.
My first real, knock me off my feet crush was in sixth grade on this guy I’d been going to school with since kindergarten. I guess puberty hit and I suddenly realised how cute he was (he only got hotter with age). I considered him as “like me but popular”; quiet, smart, reads a lot, Percy Jackson fan. I remember once I had to give him a marker in front of class for some reason and I’ve never been this flustered in my life. Unfortunately, my hair was so short people thought I was a boy, there were rumours that I was a lesbian going around (half right) until everyone realised my crush, and I was just…really gross in general. Probably just creeped him out lol
When I was 4 years old, I had my first crush on a boy called Callum who was also 4/5. I followed him around and we became friends at some point but he had a girlfriend at some point and I felt jealous. But he also told outrageous lies a lot which when I learned of, killed off all interest I had.
I didn’t have another crush until I was 12/13, and that’s my current boyfriend that I’m still with now. I haven’t had any other crushes that I’m aware of.
The girl in the old Frosty the Snowman cartoon, not sure why, think it was her voice. The beginning of many crushes on cartoon characters.
When I was in bible school (about 4 or 5) I once told my mom I had a crush on a girl and I said “because when she reaches up I can see her tummy”
I was kind of a little perv even back then.
I’ve heard of garbage fires. I’d never heard of garbage roof fires before. Learn something new every day.
I mean, Amber should tell him soonish because the longer she doesn’t, the more it looks like she’s hiding it from him, but they’re right, it’s okay to take a while to work up the courage to tell him.
Might wanna give him a ‘watch your step’ about the grades sooner rather than later though.
I think she’s more worried about telling him how she stabbed his sister than about telling him she changed his grades at least if that’s what you were implying.
Oh, this is definitely about the stabbing, but that grades thing could bite them both in the ass reaaaaalllllly hard.
Perhaps, if they catch it. Maybe Amber gets in trouble for lowering Walky’s grades and they’re “corrected” back to As?
In the context of academic fraud covering grade alteration, “in trouble” could extend as far as being suspended or expelled.
I’ve forgotten what order things happened in, but I hope Amber’s dad didn’t get evidence of that when Faz copied her hard drive
If they have evidence of it, it’s not going to go to A’s and frankly, Walky probably wouldn’t want that.
And a heads up about how the whole Amazi-Girl thing works, so that when he next sees AG, he’s got some idea what not to do.
As far as Amber knows, Amazi-Girl is dead.
That’s wishful thinking on her part at best.
She knows AG went out and did stuff while Amber was asleep at least once. I think she’s commented on being tired because of it, suggesting she’s at least worried about that being more common.
Sure, she’s yelled at her, thrown away the mask and fought off one panicked attempt to take over when she was still conscious, but even if we hadn’t seen AG active, she shouldn’t be thinking she was done.
So it was Dorothy after all.
I guess that’s the answer that makes the most sense but it’s kinda anticlimactic
Not anticlimactic when Dorothy’s approaching and doesn’t know. And has an interesting current relationship with both of them.
Tomorrow’s will probably be anticlimactic.
If Danny shows up the romantic quadrangle would be to awkward, and if Sal shows up Amber would freeze like El Chavo del Ocho when he gets La Garrotera.
Yeah… in fact, where IS Danny? This is exactly the sort of awkardpolosa he usually finds himself in.
My guess is that Danny is currently snuggling whilst trying to not snuggle too obviously with Sal on the lakeside. Another ‘mixed feelings’ thing.
THAT WAS HIS FIRST.
EVER.
YOU BIG FUCKING LOVEABLE DORK, YOU
Because context is everything.
Meanwhile, I suspect that Dorothy is about to learn the real meaning of the phrase ‘mixed feelings’.
Dorothy doesn’t know that Walky and Amber are dating yet, does she?
He’s talking about Asma, the front desk lady, right?
Only to be expected. She gave him cookies.
(Well, she handed him the package that contained the cookies, but details, schmitails)
Walky’s such a good boy. Panel four is so kind!
Take Cover! Dumpster Fire Incoming!
“I kinda stabbed your sister”
“oh, cool”
Have to check because of Willis’ tweet.
Dorothy
NOOOOOOOOOOO
DORTHY
Ha ha, loophole detected
So are we placing bets on what the next strip will contain? I am guessing (and/or hoping for) one of these two to finally reveal (read: accidentally let slip) a secret, and it improves their relationship and/or causes a funny reaction face.
why is willis so good at drawing people all excited about dating it makes me heart hurt