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David F Walker a.k.a. BadAzz MoFo @davidfwalker.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
Arren @arrenm.bsky.social ⋅ 3m
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
Nothings Monstered @nothingsmonstrd.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
Shaenon K. Garrity @shaenon.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
Gillian Branstetter @gbbranstetter.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
paulaptb @paulaptb.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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*tries to imagine who would pay the ransom*
sorry, I got nothin
obviously, a Wen
Everyone whose financial outlook is now entirely dependent on FazCoin.
No one paying the ransom, but Amber was nominated for a community service award in response.
The college, since a ransom would mean that Faz would be sent home.
Reverse ransom: “Pay up, or we’ll send him back.”
O. Henry smiles from beyond the veil
Yes!
Danny seems to be, as yet, unfaz’d by these antics.
I just reflexively attempted to give you an up-vote. Know that I’m giving my phone screen a thumbs up instead.
I can see a look of stunned surprise cross his faz.
His FAZ.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ.
xD
No. Just no.
Your profile looks very familiar. Is it from a web comic?
Looking For Group.
Stop the Fazes!!
New and improved Danny takes things in stride.
The return of Norville!
Somewhere in this Scooby Doo-esque chase he had to show up.
Danny, how could it not?
I think that after what happened last week, anything short of actual murder is a de-escalation in Amber’s life.
So, in response to this kidnapping, has there been… an Amber Alert?
OH MY GOD STOP.
Willis ninja’d you by almost six years!
Statute of limitations.
waiting for a new installment of this comic is strangely stressful, like I’m getting a test score back.
You get a D+. Revise more before reading this comic!
Wait wait hold on a second…
There’s a D+? Everyone knows grades only go up to D!
Look, I didn’t want to say this, but…
Like, there is a grading system, and it—
…
You know what, I just don’t have the heart to tell you. Carry on!
WRONG!
You must not employ the top three letters of the system in your post.
…. Like I didn’t. Like following posters won’t.
The Emperor is sending info through code.
No one is obliged to tell me which letters I’m not permitted to include in my comments, or in which specific sequences.
Ignore the fourth word. It is nonexistent.
No it isn’t, it is obliged.
it’s been less stressful for me since faz’ visit turned into a comedy routine. if there’s still another shoe waiting to drop, at least it might wait until this has been milked some more.
…….
……
…
One: Do NOT explain to us what you mean by milking Faz. Two: You are hereby banned from spawning mental images ever again.
I bet they took Craft Disturbing Mental Image as one of their feats.
If the result is Faz-imagery, that makes it a Flaw.
No no, the feat’s flavor text has it that you craft disturbing mental imagery in your opponents’ minds. Pretty OP if you ask me.
So I checked the rulevooks and it said:
“This feat allows you to craft images of an unsettling and distracting nature and put them in places that it will enter the minds of others. The image does not discriminate and may affect both friends and foes if they fail a will save (DC 10+Charisma bonus+relevant craft skil for taking the feat). It lasts for a number of days equal to your level, but may cease to be considered affecting a creature if that creature is affected by a Forget or Distracting Event spell, or an image created with the Create Pleasant Image feat.”
So obviously we need to boost our wisdom stat and get Goggles of Resistance (the ones that do something).
And they must have earned an A— They must have earned a D plus plus in that class too!Even I know that’s just a D-
Meanwhile, in a class that I do not think Some1 is attending:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY3BnNGsNwk
This is Computer Science 101.
The worst you can encounter here is C++.
Cringe occurs.
Yeah, they save A and B for History of Computing.
–Dave, carefully not using the F-word
ROFL
this was entirely accidental
and I am now really glad I’m good at blocking mental images.
Nice shirt, Danny
Or, should i say, Danny has a good sense of faz-shion
I love your comment with your gravatar, it looks like Danny is congratulating himself. |D
Whereas your Gravatar makes it look like Danny is happy to be complimented. Is he talking to himself?
And you are clearly -not- happy about this much smugness and self-satisfaction in Danny.
I deduce you are barefoot.
Unlike Walky, Danny knows how to dress himselff.
…. would that REALLY be an escalation from putting two people in hospitals?
…. no, really, I’m not sure how to compare those data points and put one higher or lower than the other.
Yes the penalty for kidnapping is higher then assault.
It’s also rare to pull of “kidnapping in self-defense”.
you know you’ve been alone too long when you start talking to your hat
here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!
lyijymyrkytys (lead poisoning)
have a nice day!
someone will say Faz deserves lead poisoning.
I just wanted to ruin it for them.
i just thought it was a funny looking word
It looks like a toddler just facerolled a keyboard – how would you even go about pronouncing that?!
Step 1: Be Finnish.
Step 2: Realize the Welsh would have a better chance.
Step 3: Remember that Tolkien used both of these language as a base/inspiration for one of the languages in the Elvish language family he created.
mxyzptlk. n. “trouble in five dimensions.” Usually misspelled and mispronounced, often backwards.
Mix-yez-pit-lick? Is that close?
Spot on, if you’re eligible for AARP. If you’re under 50, the currently-accepted pronunciation is mix-tip-lick. Unless it’s been changed again.
“… if you’re OVER 35 or went to a public school, you say 8 from 4 is 6…”
–Dave, Faz may or may not end up missing two fingers; Danny clearly is a base-10 participant
And it just occurred to me that my smart-ass reply gives the exact opposite impression I meant it to: Mix-yez-pit-lick was the official letter-column-reply pronunciation from the 1950s until someone decided to change it for the cartoons. Retconned for simplicity. I preferred the way it was before.
*plays Missing Persons’ “Windows” on the hacked Muzak*
So is she dragging Faz to her class with her now? (Presumably so he can’t get up to any more… Fazness?… while left unattended?)
Danny what are you wearing
A dapper shirt!
Shirt? Perhaps. But dapper? Maybe not.
The fact that Danny is wearing it disagrees with you.
at first glance I thought it was upvotes and downvotes… right colours, wrong shapes.
A shirt.
x x
–
That’s me, died choking on popcorn when I read this. Fortunately I’m an overachiever as a ghost and could type this with by pounding on the keyboard after possessing the neighbor’s cat. On the upside the magpie that’s been waking me up is gonna get a much deserved smackdown.
Oh yeah, he never met Faz that I’m aware of. That’s like the only good thing that happened to him in that arc.
The random black student in the front row needs a name. I will keep doing this for every random extra in hopes that Willis names one of them eventually.
“Eventually” would be a really weird name. I would demand backstory as well.
Eventually Brooke, born in Bloomington, Indiana, at 7:58 PM on May 12, [SLIDING-TIMESCALE-YEAR], to parents of Zimbabwean ancestry. Height 5 ft. 5 in., weight 122 lbs., right-handed and type A+ blood. A brilliant student, Eventually will graduate to become an amazing computer scientist and a world-famous pioneer in the field, and will be on the cusp of achieving his digital masterwork when his life is sadly cut short by heart disease at 4:55 PM on May 4, 2043, just over a week before his birthday. After his death, his partner and significant other takes up the task of finishing what he started; succeeding in time to become a renowned figure themselves, they nevertheless do their best to ensure that Eventually’s pioneering work is never forgotten.
…I may have gone a bit beyond “backstory”.
All I really wanted was a tag for him, but now I won’t be satisfied until your bio for Eventually is canon.
This backstory **Eventually** becomes **World Famous**, ( in the categories of fictional Biopics of Real People, and wiki Vandalism ) , when some asshat, and jealous white colleague defaces the Wikipedia article of Engineer “Acer” Latimer Youngblood, * renaming him the disparaging “Eventually”.
Unfortunately , this malicious edit causes to him to lose his upcoming grant at the University of Helsinki , when he is falsely thought to be dead from Heart disease. Sadly, the damage is irreversible when Acers grant is issued to the next person, leaving him unemployed for the semester.
Depressed, He attends A Renewables Conference a few blocks from his hotel, rather than head home to a job he was on sabbatical from.
There he meets the love of his life Climate Scientist, “Mitch” Spencer Brooke II . Mitch recognized him from the Wikipedia edit story , and breaks the ice with a very bad line “Eventually? …I’m Already Brooke — so I hope you are buying next round”
After a whirlwind Honeymoon in Mykonos , They eventually adopt 3 children 2 dogs, 3 cats , 4 gerbils , and foster an Emu.
But not all at once, or at the same time.
In the photo above we see Young Acer hard at work writing his first app ** ( during his first computer science class at the University of Indiana ) This App connected People living in Inner Cities with Donated Solar Panels, They can hangoff their windows and air conditioners to power them; Thus helping to reduce environmental racism in a warming world
Like His namessake Howard Latimer, Acer dedicated his life to Reducing structured inequality with Technology, with technology that benefits all, and improving the lives of other African Americans. Neither of these Real stories ever did become “world famous”; Which is why should take the time to remember histories unsung and forgotten heroes, during African American History Month .
* named after his great , great great grandfather African American Electrical Engineering, inventor and pioneer Lewis Howard Latimer .
** There is an apocryphal story afloat when Tesla later Bought Acer’s Social Renewbales App for $2 billion , Elon Musk asked him “Why did you name your first app “Agni Kai” ? Dr Youngblood responded “Because I thought “Agni Kai Mofos” was a little too long.
Are Backstory and Eventually friends with each other at least?
Backstory/Eventually was a first-act relationship. After that it kinda faded.
Is it the same guy as this one, with different hair?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/magikarp/
Danny, no, stop. I play ukulele, and that is NOT what you do. Get a case you moron.
I have an (electrified) ukele and that is what I do (I don’t play it much). Of course half my basses and guitars don’t have cases neither. And so is it for my cello – but it’s a really low-class cello, I saved it from being used a background decoration in some house. Point is, when I was student, I hadn’t money enough to get proper cases, cheap cases always broke mid-year, and I ended strapping things with whatever I had, rubber, string, if it stays on the lacquer, I don’t care as long as it’s not a valuable instrument (and I don’t think Danny could in the same time change clothing style and buy an expensive uke). My finger sweat enough so I don’t have to fear sticky heads. Of course I was rather the crust-punk type of musician.
What would happen if Amber ignores Faz and lets him run around?
considering it took about a minute before he was going into the girl’s bathroom to peep on girls in the shower and stuff, given an hour and a half minimum (depending on the class length) he’d probably have escalated to actual sexual assault, I’d say rape but he’s young enough that I doubt he has the physical prowess to accomplish that
Nah, but he would be found out perving on girls. He’s not physically capable of forcing himself on a woman, although abuse has many options I suppose.
And that would trail back to Amber and Amber doesn’t need that shit at the moment. Or ever.
Why are you saying that aloud, Danny?
He’s secretly hoping Norville will over hear him, ask what’s going on, and thus get dragged into the side-cast and get lines.
give
shaggy 
lines
He has spoken before!
For our sake? Because speech balloons look better than thought balloons ? Because, right at his left, unseen, is Sal who decided to follow a class that’s not in her curriculum for the kicks and giggles ?
He’s talking to his hat.
He’ll be fine as long as Faz does not suggst other things he could do with his hat.
–Dave, with pictures with circles and arrows on the back of each one
ps: may be I now know why Justice went blind?
I really didn’t think Amber was gonna catch Faz before her class started.
Oh god the subtext of this is always getting worse and I’m not talking about Willis’s secret messages.
I want a shirt like Danny’s.
It is the ukulele of shirts.
Is this a cry for attention? Because Faz seems remarkably happy with this whole process.
It’s entirely possible that the simple fact that Amber cares enough to chase after him does make him happy.
Maybe he is just glad to be able to spend time with his step-sister.
Anything is possible, but both of those seem remarkably un-Fazlike.
Exactly. It is in fact more likely that he’s happy about being touched by a woman at all.
Is he that one dimensional?
Ah, Danny, it’s good to see the top of your head again.
Wait, is this how Becky feels all the time. Fuck
I’d rather not diagnose Faz, but he comes off rather…atypical. It’s the only half-way sympathetic account for where he’s coming from, because goddammit otherwise he’s like if the multiform cancers of the internet metastasized into real life in the form of a 14 year old twat and didn’t evolve eyes.
Unless keeping his eyes closed at all times is what asian people look like in the Walkyverse.
Dina has her eyes open. So does Billie. And Malaya. And Asma and Raidah. I just….what?
I forgot Billie’s mother was Chinese.
Also the “Closed Eye” stereotype only applies to East Asians – Asma, being Middle Eastern, would have open eyes regardless. Also, Raidah’s black, not any flavor of Asian.
Also also, Middle Easterners are technically white (well, “Caucasian”), at least according to the US Census. This has nothing to do with the above discussion, it’s just a cool fact that needs to be more well known.
I was under the impression Raidah was South Asian, since IIRC, Willis has said before she’s not black in the comments and one of her interests listed in the book was a South Asian comedian.
Oh. Huh. Well, South Asians also don’t have the closed eyes thing.
Fair enough.
As if the US census was the final word on ethnic realities
Dina, Malaya and Ken all have open eyes, although Arnold’s are closed. I think in Faz’s case it’s to represent smugness.
I think it’s just a Faz thing. His eyes were only open once or twice in Shortpacked.
…I really want a shirt like Danny’s now.
Is that Shaggy from Scooby Doo a couple of seats from Danny?
We might as well assume he is, since his name is Orville, which also happens to be Shaggy’s real name.
Ah. I was assuming Norville was the prominent foreground texter.
Cool
I bet Danny has the BEST headcanon right now.
I bet you have the best headcanon of what sort of headcanon Danny’s having right now.
He plays the ukulele.
Faz is very good at giving out headcanon. Demonstrations available in a comment section near you! Matinees half-price. No children, dogs, or Irish. Headcanon may not resemble headcanon pictured on tee shirt.
–Dave, do not taunt happy fun Faz
faz is asian?
Faz is Korean, I believe
thanks!
Half Korean in the other universe. Probably still applies here, even though his father’s different.
Why is Danny talking out loud to himself? That’s so weird. Like, people can hear you.
I was wondering the same thing to myself when my brother called me crazy
XD meh, he doesn’t understand storytelling.
Because he’s a character in a comic strip.
Oh, he is talking to himself? I thought he was talking to the guy beside him.
It’s interesting Norville has returned in this prolonged re-introduction to Willis’ version of Scrappy.
Bringing your instrument to lessons without anything to protect it from shock and scratches uh.
…how in the blue heck did I never notice that Shaggy’s been in the comic this whole flippin’ time?!?
The range of curiosity expressions on Danny’s face, in close-up, are pretty cool.
I reiterate my assertion that Faz is hilarious and adorable and his addition to the comic at this point brings nothing but joy.
Yes, back then, when he was backed up by Blaine and creeping out Dina bound by conventions of hospitality, he was genuinely a Big Gross Problem. Right now, though, he’s just Amber’s annoying little brother making a nuisance of himself to get his sister’s attention. And that’s adorable.
And yet his behavior is nearly the same. It’s just that Blaine isn’t here, so Amber can deal with him.
Faz, please just fuck off.
What i don’t get is Amber had no problem lifting Billie and she is a much heavier target then Faz, but she’s struggling to pull him. Is it cause he’s actively resisting her?
Well Amber seems to have the superhuman ability of being in peak physical condition capable of acrobatics and stuff as Amazi-girl despite never working out or doing things other than play video games, and Faz is related to her, so he probably has super-strength that activates when he’s trying to be annoying… which is always
i think Amazi-girls strength and agility comes from ambers repressed anger that fuels her almost super human abilities
despite never working out or doing things other than play video games
Not true! Although rarely shown. Obviously we (the readers) are using too much snapchat!
huh, neat
One might suspect that spending her nights running the rooftops, leaping out of trees and onto speeding trucks is a pretty decent workout.
You don’t really need to go to the gym, when the whole campus is your gym.
If you read the panels from right to left, I find the comic to be even funnier.
Am I the only one who’s concerned about Danny taking his Ukelele to CLASS?
I’m guessing you haven’t been on campus recently. Ukulele people take their ukuleles everywhere.
Well, you pretty much have to. If you leave your ukulele alone at home, it gets separation anxiety and trashes the place, nothing worse than coming home to ukulele poop everywhere.
Now I’m imagining a living ukelele as a pet.
Eh…easier to find and catch than a hamster, probably.
I’m still on campus. I know several ukelele people and they all keep the instruments in their rooms.
I forgot if Faz is her half brother or step brother in this continuity
Step brother. Confirmed by Word of Satan.
He looks like Chara
What’s the opposite of kidnapping?
Forget Norville. I want to know what’s happening on the dude in the front row’s phone that he doesn’t seem happy about.
the ryan look alike in the back row creeps me out
that shirt. That shirt is made from the wallpaper of a late-’50s or early-’60s hotel. I swear. I’m having flashbacks to my childhood in East Cleveland.
–Dave, DYW