Theories:
– You’re secretly Denna from the King Killer Chronicles. The similar-sounding fake name, the secret relative… it all makes sense
-You believe you have a secret sister, but you’re not sure so you’re using a fake identity to insert yourself into her life and find out more information. Wacky hijinks ensue.
– You’ve recently developed superpowers. While experimenting with your new abilities, you overheard your mother mention a sister you’d never heard of. The only problem: she’s a supervillain.
1. Is the thing porn? Because I have many porn-name ideas.
2. Congrats! I think. I mean, I hope this is good news for you. I’ve had two different friends meet previously unknown half-siblings in adulthood, and both of those relationships turned out well. So: optimistic for you!
I have long cultivated in my head a fake name to use should the need ever arise. I want to be able to say it naturally, after all, not stumble and panic and say I’m Schlotenheim Reinbach III.
tbh I have multiple fake names that I’ve used for different occasions. Usually I just grab at whatever comes to mind, but since ill6ve using this one consistently for a while, I want to put a bit more thought into picking it.
I found out I have a secret sister a couple years ago. Turned out my mom had a kid at 16 and put her up for adoption. She tracked me down via a private investigator. It was a surreal experience to say the least. Good luck
Same deal with my brother minus the private investigator. My mom got in contact with him two years ago so I got a brother 20 years older than me two years ago
Hey, me and my non-secret half-sister have 26 years between us. She taught at the preschool I went to and none of the other kids would believe she was my sister.
A secret half-sister, eh? A few years ago, I found out I had a secret aunt, cousins, uncles… Well, a secret extended family, more or less. I’ve chosen to pretend my bloodline stops at my mother, brothers, and one uncle.
Huh, I hope you half-sister is rad. Dina is an awesome name. I hope you take the responsibility the name carries with it and starts spouting random dinosaur facts.
To be fair, it WOULD be a pretty good idea to send gender studies teachers on exchange programs, if nothing else to undo at least SOME of the damage some missionaries have done *coff, Uganda, coff*.
I’ll sum it up.
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend. She’s Canadian. No, I have no pictures of her. No, I can’t show you evidence. Just trust me, I totally have one.”
Fore once it’s nothing dirty, it’s just people pretending to have a partner in order to fake being someone who has a partner. Most often to impress peers and hide the perceived flaw of not having a partner.
Canada is suitably far away from everywhere that isn’t Canada (from Canada too, come to think of it), for it to be at least somewhat plausible that the circle of friends have never seen her.
I think Malaya still counts as being into girls? Regardless of being a robot, Ultra Car’s a woman and Malaya was very into her. She just didn’t have a spark with Leslie, is all.
Huh, I was just mentally comparing Malaya and Anna, given that both, near as can tell so far, are abrasive, inconsiderate human farts with seemingly no redeeming qualities. Even Carla has shown more concern for other people. (Very realistic characters, now I think of it; people I love to hate.)
Further props to he who is Willis for being unafraid to have people “of color” as such unsympathetic characters – it’d be unfair to deny them the full spectrum of personality, same as the Caucasoidae.
Oh dear, Mindy and Anna also work together?! That doesn’t bode well for a romantic relationship from what I’ve heard. Of course, Anna’s personality didn’t help matters either.
Relationships with coworkers can be fine. The problem is largely that it means the parts of your life are leaking through. I dated a coworker for a while and the biggest problem was that I pretty much never got alone-time for lunch because she’d always look me up for it. It was also very weird to feel like I had to hide it from other coworkers, which incrementally became less of a thing as we stopped caring who knew.
It’s not without problems, but what relationship is?
True that about “no such thing as a problem-free relationship”. But your second sentence points to the concern I had – either a lack of free-time to oneself or overexposure to each other at work and at home.
The power imbalance wasn’t something I considered either. Let’s see if it comes up with these two
It’s such a sad situation overall. Like, as you note, you can have good friendships with exes (one of my exes is currently my editor), but it requires moving on and building bridges.
Mindy still carrying a massive torch while also living and working with Anna is recipe for badness and I think we’ve seen a lot of the signs of that in how hard it’s been for her to move on from everything. And it’s especially a recipe for badness when Anna has a casual habit of ripping down her self-esteem.
Went to the office to fill out the forms
The red one, the pink one, the colors they choose
Went to the man there to see what he think
He said “it doesn’t count if they’re written with INK!”
I don’t trust nobody–at least from around here
And it’s no fun being an Illegal Alien!
(Thingley -is- in fact real. It’s a small town in England. Because small places in England are apparently getting their names from people who’s spent too much time in pubs.)
I also initially also read it as bulimia, and completely out of context too. Like, it’s bolded, so it jumped out at me when I first glanced at the strip as a whole, so then I read it like, “Uh-oh, where is this going.”
Considering DYW recently said he discovered the joy of finding out how to stop old Shortpacked strips from getting new comments by asshats, I think it’s safe to assume that he used to have this problem with this comment field as well.
Oooh! I remember this! IIRC it was back during Carla’s revenge on Mary. There was a serious influx of asshats, so eventually Willis decided to limit strips to 30 days or so of commenting. He said ‘for a while’ but it’s stuck so I presume he finds this easier.
So she’s gonna hook up with Jerkadoo there, and we’re going to find out that she’s repeating an old pattern of picking people who are rude and dismissive to her?
Install Firefox Clear. Since I did, I can activate a blocking of aggressive ads in Safari.
It lets mosts ads through but there’s a suspicious hole on the left hand since I use it. And the redirecting casino ad never came up again, too.
The video-ad about places to go is still there, though.
Ah, speaking as someone who is recognizing ways in which I’ve been vulnerable to abuse, it takes time and growth.
Like romantic/sexual attraction can be a douchebag at times and a positive trait that leads to happy NRE blind feelings can also be a red flag or a trait you have as a result of abuse can sometimes make one an enticing target for said abuse.
In my own experiences and the experiences of friends who’ve gotten stuck with a lot of bad partners, usually you learn new things from each one, gaining new ideas of how abusive dynamics work, new ideas of red flags to watch out for, and a new understanding of how one’s own self-esteem operates and the potential pitfalls.
The benefits is usually you don’t make the same exact mistake the next time though you may make new mistakes based on the partner not doing a type of abuse of the last one (from personally experience, I was so thrilled with my ex-fiancee because they allowed me full space to show emotions and didn’t demonize my DID which was not something a previous ex did, so I was more forgiving about the other ways in which they were showing abusive traits).
And I feel we are seeing that with Leslie. Lest we forget, she recognized the trainwreck that was Robin and took active steps to avoid falling into a romantic relationship with her, it’s just they were ineffective against someone willing to violate major boundaries to insert herself into her life.
And we’ve seen with Mindy that she has good awareness of when a relationship is likely to exacerbate negative mental states of hers in a dangerous way and remove herself from that.
So yeah, Leslie’s on a good path. It’s just for whatever reason, Anna is slipping into a part of her headspace where she’s finding herself discounting some of the extreme red flags because Anna is a brash, confident, butch women of color who turns her on greatly.
General addendum: One of the big problems is that abusers like to seek out folks struggling with self-esteem or who’ve been previously abused because they know that socially people will be more likely to blame their victims for “putting up with it” than the abuser for abusing and assume that things like gaslighting will be easier. It’s very tied to how folks with marginalizations are also more targeted for abuse because it’s assumed that no one will believe them or that they’ll have less resources to escape it or resist it.
This is especially true for folks with structural and/or mental disabilities.
“General addendum:” On my journey through mental health services, I’ve met SO many women who’ve been through that. Usually with a side order of “well, no-one else would want you” to make staying seem safer than going.
Yeah, it’s even worse when the person saying that crap to you is your own brain. Stupid depression brain making it harder to get out of bad situations.
People say Leslie deserves better, but honestly, she is ignoring all the glaring red flags… if she finds a woman attractive, she ignores everything else..
What did she expect from Robin, anyways? She went after an extreme far right queer-bashing homophobe, and found she really was an immature woman with some sort of personality disorder who secretly was into women… and she felt dissapointed? Would she have liked it more if Robin relly were as horrible as her public image? Does Leslie enjoy punishment?
Red flags are not always easy to see, especially when attraction or chemistry is in their way. It’s really easy to rationalize a behavior that is a disaster waiting to happen as a weird quirk, especially if there are other traits that your brain can cling to to excuse them.
And for Leslie, her brain is working overtime on her to find perfectly rational explanations to argue away Anna’s brusque treatment of her.
Man I really don’t like Anna much. She kind of reminds me of Faye from QC, in that “I can be a rude dick to whoever I meet because I’m the one in charge.”
We just met Anna so maybe she’ll have more positive qualities, like Faye ended up developing as her character grew but for now it just seems like Mindy is super possessive of her, and Ana just brushes off everyone so it’s totally pointless.
Bleh, I hope Leslie doesn’t just go for relationships that she has to put all the work in. But maybe Anna will surprise me.
I have always hated Faye. She is that character the author wants you to love because being “sassy” is soooo cool (apparently “sassy” means “jerk”) but you know you would despise her in real life and avoid her like the plague…
The in-world explanation is that she’s suppused to be hot, so guys take all her shit without resistance, but she doesn’t really look so hot. I guess she just fits the author tastes?
Panel 5: Anna’s “I wasn’t paying attention to what Mindy said, anyway she mumbles” is pretty telling. Anna, dental hygienist, spends her day talking with people who have all that stuff crammed in their mouth, and maybe a shot of novocaine, and *Mindy* mumbles?
Panel 3: Interesting dodge there Anna. Is it because you recognize working and living with someone massively hung up on you isn’t fully healthy? Or because you don’t feel comfortable with any conversation where you feel more on the back foot?
Like, I feel that one moment might be extremely telling for a lot of how Anna operates and why she incorporates the exact style of interaction where things are a bit more combative that she does.
Panel 4: Especially since this is such a nonsense question. Like, Anna knows that’s made up bullshit. That that is a transparent cover-up for a date that didn’t work out. But here, Anna outs it and then places it into this conversation, putting Leslie in the position of having to answer to why a completely different person would state such a bizarre lie about her.
And it’s such a subtly shitty thing to do, breeding even more negativity between the two women by revealing Mindy’s attempt to save face in a way that embarrasses or upsets Leslie. While also placing the pressure on Leslie to feel she has to make up for something, like, why would she make up this lie, answer to that in a speculative way that invites you to be shitty back to this other person.
And yeah, it’s a massive red flag for mistreatment. Like, there’s a lot of value in noticing how a person treats their exes and service workers. Like service workers especially as it can reveal a lot of how they behave when they don’t feel they have to put on an act.
But exes can be valuable too. Like, people can have abusive exes and that’s important. But if the person is going out of their way on a consistent basis to tear down random exes or seems to have gallons of bad blood with all of them, that can be a very big sign.
And something like this, where they are very early on trying to badmouth them and create an antagonistic relationship, definitely smells of someone who recognizes that the ex has some major dirt on them and wants to manage the field in a specific way.
Now I really shouldn’t have to say it, but ignoring these red flags doesn’t make Leslie deserving of the potential abuse that may happen trying to date Anna nor does it make her responsible for it or a moron.
Not jumping at red flags is a positive trait, a sign of coming from a position of good faith with romantic partners. It’s a tragedy when that willingness to give someone a chance gets so thoroughly misused by a person and turned into a weapon against them, where someone’s love and willingness to forgive gets used to trap them in unhealthy circumstances.
And the fault for that tragedy always lies with the abuser, never the abused. And I feel I would be saying that even if I didn’t have a history of abusive partners who exploited various aspects and mental health conditions of mine to try and harm me.
Panel 5: That all said, yikes is this a red flag that she goes out of her way to put down an ex and make excuses for not paying attention to what she says while in the midst of using something she said to paint a negative picture of her.
“Now I really shouldn’t have to say it, but ignoring these red flags doesn’t make Leslie deserving of the potential abuse that may happen trying to date Anna nor does it make her responsible for it or a moron.
Not jumping at red flags is a positive trait, a sign of coming from a position of good faith with romantic partners. It’s a tragedy when that willingness to give someone a chance gets so thoroughly misused by a person and turned into a weapon against them, where someone’s love and willingness to forgive gets used to trap them in unhealthy circumstances.
And the fault for that tragedy always lies with the abuser, never the abused. And I feel I would be saying that even if I didn’t have a history of abusive partners who exploited various aspects and mental health conditions of mine to try and harm me.”
Heck, I’m saying it, and I’ve definitely never had any abusive partners* who tried to exploit… well, any aspect of me.
*If anything, I was probably the shittier one back then. Hopefully not abuse-style shitty, but still probably shittier than they were.
Oh, I am not saying that Leslie deserves to be punished, I’m saying that she somehow seems to seek punishment…
Because, come on, a politician who wants to limit your rights because she argues that you sexuality is a disease and God hates it? That goes beyond a mere red flag, there is no way she could ignore that, no matter how big her crush…
How was that going to end in anything but a lot of pain and a massive heartbreak? … Robin could have been a true homophobe and have told Leslie that she was crap, or she could have been a cold, calculating sociopath who didn’t believe homosexuality was wrong but didn’t care either…
What she got, an annoying woman-child with some loose screws was the least possible harmful thing she could expect…
In short, it kinda seems like some part of her subsconscious is actively looking for horrible people who will hurt her…
my love of school supplies turned into a love of rainbow whiteboard markers. 🙂 although there was a post-it phase too, judging by how there’s still a bunch of them under my desk mat 😉 yay colours! (and yes, pastels *are* soothing, I’m still a bit sad I missed ikea’s mint-green phase.)
as for Anna, you picked up red flags (or details of them) I hadn’t even noticed… like the ‘crazy’-ex thing that I have ignored before, augh. 😛 It is very helpful to have these things spelled out.
🙂 🙂 Ikea sells transparent desk mats that are great for holding a bunch of post-its in place. I keep meaning to mention that to r/ADHD but forgetting…
Also I got some strips of magnet from the dollar store and a couple of squares of whiteboard material from Staples, so I have whiteboards on my whiteboards. 😁
Sometimes queer femme relationships can also mask red flags. There’s often certain behaviors that if they occurred in say someone who was a guy would be much more obvious as the red flags that they are that can be diffused in queer relationships as there’s hesitation to read them in the same way*.
*To use a personal example, my ex-fiancee was in many ways a bro stereotype (Call of Duty, massive amounts of weed, regularly checking Reddit), but since they also were very versed in feminism, I found it easy to interpret that neutrally until their full bro-ness made itself known.
“but since they also were very versed in feminism, I found it easy to interpret that neutrally until their full bro-ness made itself known.”
and that can happen with the best of intentions, too. my husband *introduced* me to feminism, including a book called Wifework that talks about how feminist couples still tend to fall into sexist habits around chores, and many years later – yup, we’d fallen into that and he’d picked up bad habits that were starting to look kinda gaslighty… it’s a good thing he’d been helping me learn to communicate so I could eventually put my foot down and have some Talks.
Lying like that also isn’t exactly cool Mindy. I mean was this just embarrassment or just wanting to be a roadblock to this (admittedly what will be probably disastrous) relationship because of your inability to let it go when it comes to Anna?
Honestly Mindy needs to at least move out and stop living with her. I mean the fact that they don’t even get a break from each other even at /work/ is really, really bad. I mean I guess there’s always the possibility they have slightly different days off since a dental office may be open seven (or at least six) days and shifts and all that and what have you. But bets are they probably spend four or five days when they’re in the same building for all of their waking hours most likely. Knocking elbows all the time.
This is really not good for either of them honestly. Mindy needs to love herself and get over Anna and can’t do that if she’s always there. And honestly Anna living AND working near 24-7 with some ex who can’t get over you would not be fun. At all. I’d probably be not quite as… abrasive but let me tell you I’d be emotionally exhausted. I just wouldn’t say anything at all if I could help it and retreat into myself. Not so fun for Anna either.
The only thing gotten out of this is probably a shared rent payment and the mental drain for both of them is really probably not worth that.
Wait, wait. ‘MY’ Dental Office. Does that mean Anna is Mindy’s boss?!
That’s even worse if so.
You don’t under any circumstances live long term with your bosses/employees. The only possible exception is you all work in some bunker in the antarctic for six months. Otherwise: hell no. It’s just a bad idea all around with that kind of power dynamic.
Possible, but kind of surprising if the dentist is getting her own office supplies. Seems more like what the receptionist would need to do in that situation.
My dentist is married to his office manager. I don’t know what their life is like outside of the office (and it’s none of my business), but they work really well together in the office. It’s a mom-and-pop business, except one of them is a dentist.
And I don’t know why people are assuming that Anna is Mindy’s boss. If Anna were a dentist, especially one who owned her own practice, she would presumably be spending as much time as she could doing dentistry while someone else (e.g., an office manager) was dealing with things like office supplies.
And if two people can live together as roommates after becoming exes, it’s not unreasonable to imagine that they could work in the same office after becoming exes. Healthy? Probably not, but you have to live somewhere, and you have to work somewhere; and if you’ve already got a somewhere that works for you, why change without a compelling reason?
at the bottom of panel 2, she complains about whoever’s supposed to be getting paper not doing it fast enough for her liking. so yeah, I think she is the dentist.
Oh, great, Richard Spencer and his ilk are back in Charlottesville. Be ready to light up your phone lines and ask your reps and senators to condemn them and, if you’re able, donate to anti hate groups.
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“though I should’ve been suspicious when the letters were postmarked from Colorado”
DON’T THINK I DON’T SEE YOU THERE BLOWJOB CAT BANNER
The eyes… they pierce my very soul!
…and those l-lips…
It’s more like a single lip…
Haunting, isn’t it.
Oh, she’s a dentist. That’s great! This relationship will be like pulling teeth and Dentists can get great painkillers.
err, didn’t mean to make that a reply here since it’s kinda derailing. Sorry!
Nah, it won’t be like pulling teeth; it’s more like a root canal.
To quote Bill Murray “A long slow root canal”. 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB7R0ZxNgC4
Bulmeria, huh? Sounds like Joyce’s kind of place.
Anything like Nambia?
I was just thinking the same thing.
Two things:
1. I’ll soon be part of a thing where I’ll need a fake name, and I’m thinking of going with Dina.
2. I may have a secret half-sister.
There’s a story behind this, and whatever it is, hang onto the movie rights.
To be fair, these two things are completely unrelated, but I will be accepting headcanons in which they are intimately tied.
Theories:
– You’re secretly Denna from the King Killer Chronicles. The similar-sounding fake name, the secret relative… it all makes sense
-You believe you have a secret sister, but you’re not sure so you’re using a fake identity to insert yourself into her life and find out more information. Wacky hijinks ensue.
– You’ve recently developed superpowers. While experimenting with your new abilities, you overheard your mother mention a sister you’d never heard of. The only problem: she’s a supervillain.
You sure Diane wouldn’t be a better fit?
So you and Susan from EGS share a relationship status (secret half-sister)?
Susan’s sister is no secret anymore…
Well, whether she’s a sister or a coincidence is still up for grabs.
1. Is the thing porn? Because I have many porn-name ideas.
2. Congrats! I think. I mean, I hope this is good news for you. I’ve had two different friends meet previously unknown half-siblings in adulthood, and both of those relationships turned out well. So: optimistic for you!
1. You know, it’s not porn, but if it were porn I would also have many porn-name ideas.
2. Thanks! I’m excited about it, but it’s still in development, so I’m not really sure what will come of it.
I have long cultivated in my head a fake name to use should the need ever arise. I want to be able to say it naturally, after all, not stumble and panic and say I’m Schlotenheim Reinbach III.
tbh I have multiple fake names that I’ve used for different occasions. Usually I just grab at whatever comes to mind, but since ill6ve using this one consistently for a while, I want to put a bit more thought into picking it.
You can be Schlotenheim Reinbach III, Duchess of Thingley.
I found out I have a secret sister a couple years ago. Turned out my mom had a kid at 16 and put her up for adoption. She tracked me down via a private investigator. It was a surreal experience to say the least. Good luck
Same deal with my brother minus the private investigator. My mom got in contact with him two years ago so I got a brother 20 years older than me two years ago
wow, and I thought the 10 years between me and my half-sister was a big gap 🙂
Hey, me and my non-secret half-sister have 26 years between us. She taught at the preschool I went to and none of the other kids would believe she was my sister.
A secret half-sister, eh? A few years ago, I found out I had a secret aunt, cousins, uncles… Well, a secret extended family, more or less. I’ve chosen to pretend my bloodline stops at my mother, brothers, and one uncle.
I hope yours is a positive experience.
Huh, I hope you half-sister is rad. Dina is an awesome name. I hope you take the responsibility the name carries with it and starts spouting random dinosaur facts.
I’ll believe Bulmeria is a real place before I’ll believe Leslie as a missionary.
Leslie has no interest in any kind of missionary position.
MWAH! Goodnight, everybody!
To be fair, it WOULD be a pretty good idea to send gender studies teachers on exchange programs, if nothing else to undo at least SOME of the damage some missionaries have done *coff, Uganda, coff*.
I mean, if nothing else she would have a RAD car
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/trendy/
She’d sooner chop her own arms off with a chainsaw.
Wasn’t that the country Joyce went to as a missionary for her Semme cover story?
It was only a SEMME-believable story, to be honest.
I don’t know, but it is part of Alex’s possible cover story/actual flee from justice: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/alex-2/
Knew that seemed familiar.
Bulmerian girlfriend: The new “Canadian girlfriend” for a globally minded generation.
I continue to be amused by that meme, as I currently am the Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada.
I had one of those once. Did you know PEI is a long drive from, well, anywhere?
Billie has a Canadian girlfriend…. didn’t work out too hot for her.
Heh, that’s actually pretty funny. “And I can tell you it’s all true, because that girl was MEEEEEEEEE”
But where do lonely Canadian guys claim their fictional girlfriends live?
probably america. And they’re all described as blond, blue-eyed with huuuuge tracts of land and wearing ten-gallon hats and flag tanktops
unless that’s only the Japanese who think that
Do I dare to google “Canadian girlfriend”?
I’ll sum it up.
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend. She’s Canadian. No, I have no pictures of her. No, I can’t show you evidence. Just trust me, I totally have one.”
“And she’s hot”, is a crucial part also.
For international audiences, substitute “Canadian” with [country or region of your choice].
A “Japanese girlfriend” would add a whole new level of implications.
Her name is Alberta
She lives in Vancouver
She cooks like my mother
And sucks like a Hoover!
I read that like a cheerleading chant
It’s from “Avenue Q”.
That is about the rhythm he gets going in that section.
Fore once it’s nothing dirty, it’s just people pretending to have a partner in order to fake being someone who has a partner. Most often to impress peers and hide the perceived flaw of not having a partner.
Canada is suitably far away from everywhere that isn’t Canada (from Canada too, come to think of it), for it to be at least somewhat plausible that the circle of friends have never seen her.
We’re also mostly English speaking, which is convenient for most Americans.
Thanks everyone 😃
I’m actually not sure if there’s a matching German idiom.
So, is Anna just ersatz Malaya because I’m pretty sure there was the same age difference between Leslie and Malaya in the Walkyverse too.
Well, hopefully Anna’s actually legit into girls, and not just robots.
…Could Mindy have been a robot? She has Rung’s eyebrows.
I think Malaya still counts as being into girls? Regardless of being a robot, Ultra Car’s a woman and Malaya was very into her. She just didn’t have a spark with Leslie, is all.
Huh, I was just mentally comparing Malaya and Anna, given that both, near as can tell so far, are abrasive, inconsiderate human farts with seemingly no redeeming qualities. Even Carla has shown more concern for other people. (Very realistic characters, now I think of it; people I love to hate.)
And also women of color? We all know it.
At least Anna doesn’t get jealous and then pretend she’s not, while also mocking someone else for being jealous.
Further props to he who is Willis for being unafraid to have people “of color” as such unsympathetic characters – it’d be unfair to deny them the full spectrum of personality, same as the Caucasoidae.
Let he who has never lied about somebody moving away because he didn’t want to deal with embarrassment cast the first stone.
¨Mr D Uses Rock Throw*
*Critical Hit!*
I didn’t even think it was about covering up embarrassment. I thought Mindy said that in an attempt to keep Anna away from Leslie.
*Doesn’t want to throw a stone so walks away from a missed opportunity.*
Oof, yea it kind of was a bad break eh
Previous Bulmeria reference: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/alex-2/
When harvesting crystals from Bulmeria, the Alteans offer up their life force as a part of a ritual.
+1 internet, my friend
And another +1 Internet from me.
I KNEW I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE
Joyce Prime and Leslie will probably be great friends in Bulmeria!
Oh dear, Mindy and Anna also work together?! That doesn’t bode well for a romantic relationship from what I’ve heard. Of course, Anna’s personality didn’t help matters either.
I wonder if they started working together before or after they broke up. I don’t think I’d be comfortable working with an ex.
That’s a good question. No reason some exes can’t be friendly, although we know so little of Anna and Mindy at the moment.
Relationships with coworkers can be fine. The problem is largely that it means the parts of your life are leaking through. I dated a coworker for a while and the biggest problem was that I pretty much never got alone-time for lunch because she’d always look me up for it. It was also very weird to feel like I had to hide it from other coworkers, which incrementally became less of a thing as we stopped caring who knew.
It’s not without problems, but what relationship is?
OTOH, if Mindy is a hygenist and Anna is a dentist, there’s a power imbalance problem that could blow up differently.
True that about “no such thing as a problem-free relationship”. But your second sentence points to the concern I had – either a lack of free-time to oneself or overexposure to each other at work and at home.
The power imbalance wasn’t something I considered either. Let’s see if it comes up with these two
It’s such a sad situation overall. Like, as you note, you can have good friendships with exes (one of my exes is currently my editor), but it requires moving on and building bridges.
Mindy still carrying a massive torch while also living and working with Anna is recipe for badness and I think we’ve seen a lot of the signs of that in how hard it’s been for her to move on from everything. And it’s especially a recipe for badness when Anna has a casual habit of ripping down her self-esteem.
Mindy still harbors feelings for Anna?! I must have missed that part. That is definitely not good.
Went to the office to fill out the forms
The red one, the pink one, the colors they choose
Went to the man there to see what he think
He said “it doesn’t count if they’re written with INK!”
I don’t trust nobody–at least from around here
And it’s no fun being an Illegal Alien!
BTW, my Dad paid for the Keebler banner ad at the top of the page.
It’s easy to miss, tucked away between Ruritania and Latveria.
Don’t forget Nambia!
It is also bordered by Freedonia and Sylvania to the north, and by Graustark and Grand Fenwick to the south.
Anywhere near Eyerack, or the famous seacoast of Bohemia? Also, my cousin’s Ruritanian. He kind of looks like me, too…
Bulmeria, right next to the duchy of Thingley.
…All of these sound almost disturbingly realistic. (Also, nice shot there, adjudicus!)
(Thingley -is- in fact real. It’s a small town in England. Because small places in England are apparently getting their names from people who’s spent too much time in pubs.)
Nether Poppleton, represent!
Ruled by the duchess Alex Zandra, who was appointed by Us.
And shares a landlocked sea with Klopstokia and Lutonia.
Not to mention Syldavia and Brungaria.
I read it as “Bulemia” – a land where the national pastime is projectile vomiting
I also initially also read it as bulimia, and completely out of context too. Like, it’s bolded, so it jumped out at me when I first glanced at the strip as a whole, so then I read it like, “Uh-oh, where is this going.”
I read it that way every time it’s mentioned in one of Willis’s strips.
Mormons are frantically scrambling for a map.”Is it a real country? Can we be missionaries there?
“It doesn’t have… brown people there right?”
Of course, that’s who we missionary too. Simple brown people.
“It’s not like I actually listen to half of what she says.”
🙁
When I first read that, I mistakenly read it as more Tsundere-ish:
“I-it’s not like a actually want to listen to what you say, b-baka!”
There’s no dere to this tsun.
Nope. She’s just a bongo.
I keep wondering how to pronounce that word. Mainly to know whether “Tsunderecats” could ever be a thing.
Hear about the weebo who fell in love with the passive aggressive rocker girl? He was
.
.
.
.
.
Tsundere Struck!
Oh, wow, Bulmeria. Is this its first reference in DoA?
Nope!
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/alex-2/
Oh, yeah! I remember that.
I also noticed that you cant comment on older strips anymore. What happened? Were there some troublesome posters commenting on older strips?
Considering DYW recently said he discovered the joy of finding out how to stop old Shortpacked strips from getting new comments by asshats, I think it’s safe to assume that he used to have this problem with this comment field as well.
Oooh! I remember this! IIRC it was back during Carla’s revenge on Mary. There was a serious influx of asshats, so eventually Willis decided to limit strips to 30 days or so of commenting. He said ‘for a while’ but it’s stuck so I presume he finds this easier.
I guess it cuts down the moderating workload too. And that’s no small job.
Either that, or he was afraid that on days when I’m over-caffeinated, I’d start making my novella-length posts in the old threads too.
Thanks, you two! I was wondering what prompted the change.
So Mindy’s trying to keep Leslie and Anna away from each other. Can’t bear the two of them to be together, while she’s still all alone. Oh, Mindy.
Either that or she didn’t want to Admit to Anna that Leslie walked out on her.
In either case, 🙁
So she’s gonna hook up with Jerkadoo there, and we’re going to find out that she’s repeating an old pattern of picking people who are rude and dismissive to her?
Right. I’m not interested in this at all, and that’s the first time I’ve said that about this comic tbh. Just — ugh.
That is assuming Anna doesn’t turn her down. One could always hope.
I think Anna and Leslie will make an awesome couple!
Why?
Mostly because they’re interesting and some people have sour personalities but are fun to be around as well as very loving.
Blech. More aggressive ads. Something called Pfizer this time.
Pfizer is a drug company. They make Viagra, Lyrica, and Lipitor.
And apparently very aggressive ads.
Boners is important for them.
These also sound like made-up countries, or enemies of He-Man. “I am Zaditor. You will bow down before me.“
Install Firefox Clear. Since I did, I can activate a blocking of aggressive ads in Safari.
It lets mosts ads through but there’s a suspicious hole on the left hand since I use it. And the redirecting casino ad never came up again, too.
The video-ad about places to go is still there, though.
I think that we’re heading towards a moment where Anna tells Leslie exactly what she’s doing wrong in the most hurtful and brutal manner imaginable.
So, the Mike Warner approach?
exactly
Awwww, Mindy 🙁
Leslie’s pattern makes me wonder, for people who are attracted to bad partners, is there a way for them to recalibrate that at all?
Or is it that Leslie needs to find herself a confident and brash brunette who isn’t also a jerk?
I’m pretty sure that’s the solution Becky will go with, at least.
Ah, speaking as someone who is recognizing ways in which I’ve been vulnerable to abuse, it takes time and growth.
Like romantic/sexual attraction can be a douchebag at times and a positive trait that leads to happy NRE blind feelings can also be a red flag or a trait you have as a result of abuse can sometimes make one an enticing target for said abuse.
In my own experiences and the experiences of friends who’ve gotten stuck with a lot of bad partners, usually you learn new things from each one, gaining new ideas of how abusive dynamics work, new ideas of red flags to watch out for, and a new understanding of how one’s own self-esteem operates and the potential pitfalls.
The benefits is usually you don’t make the same exact mistake the next time though you may make new mistakes based on the partner not doing a type of abuse of the last one (from personally experience, I was so thrilled with my ex-fiancee because they allowed me full space to show emotions and didn’t demonize my DID which was not something a previous ex did, so I was more forgiving about the other ways in which they were showing abusive traits).
And I feel we are seeing that with Leslie. Lest we forget, she recognized the trainwreck that was Robin and took active steps to avoid falling into a romantic relationship with her, it’s just they were ineffective against someone willing to violate major boundaries to insert herself into her life.
And we’ve seen with Mindy that she has good awareness of when a relationship is likely to exacerbate negative mental states of hers in a dangerous way and remove herself from that.
So yeah, Leslie’s on a good path. It’s just for whatever reason, Anna is slipping into a part of her headspace where she’s finding herself discounting some of the extreme red flags because Anna is a brash, confident, butch women of color who turns her on greatly.
General addendum: One of the big problems is that abusers like to seek out folks struggling with self-esteem or who’ve been previously abused because they know that socially people will be more likely to blame their victims for “putting up with it” than the abuser for abusing and assume that things like gaslighting will be easier. It’s very tied to how folks with marginalizations are also more targeted for abuse because it’s assumed that no one will believe them or that they’ll have less resources to escape it or resist it.
This is especially true for folks with structural and/or mental disabilities.
“General addendum:” On my journey through mental health services, I’ve met SO many women who’ve been through that. Usually with a side order of “well, no-one else would want you” to make staying seem safer than going.
Yeah, it’s even worse when the person saying that crap to you is your own brain. Stupid depression brain making it harder to get out of bad situations.
“Dear mrs Manners,
I went on a date with this girl I met in the grocery store and since we didn’t click at all I cut it short.
Now I’m talking up her roommate/ex/coworker/it’s complicated and I wonder, would it be a bad idea to try to get a date with her?
Best wishes
Not-at-all-desperate
Ps. She constantly belittles me and everyone else around her, if that is a factor. Ds.”
“Dear Not-at-all-desperate,
Sure, go for it. I can see no problems at all with this course of action.
Good luck.
Mrs Manners.”
Cool cool 🙂
People say Leslie deserves better, but honestly, she is ignoring all the glaring red flags… if she finds a woman attractive, she ignores everything else..
What did she expect from Robin, anyways? She went after an extreme far right queer-bashing homophobe, and found she really was an immature woman with some sort of personality disorder who secretly was into women… and she felt dissapointed? Would she have liked it more if Robin relly were as horrible as her public image? Does Leslie enjoy punishment?
Or maybe she grew up in an abusive household and her subconsciousness considers that kind of relationship as “True Love”
Red flags are not always easy to see, especially when attraction or chemistry is in their way. It’s really easy to rationalize a behavior that is a disaster waiting to happen as a weird quirk, especially if there are other traits that your brain can cling to to excuse them.
And for Leslie, her brain is working overtime on her to find perfectly rational explanations to argue away Anna’s brusque treatment of her.
And this is why I say that Crush is a mental illness…It completely warps the way you see the world…
Wanda’s line when splitting from Bojack still applies here….
‘When you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.’
And nothing gives you rose-coloured glasses like someone pushing all your attraction-buttons.
Man I really don’t like Anna much. She kind of reminds me of Faye from QC, in that “I can be a rude dick to whoever I meet because I’m the one in charge.”
We just met Anna so maybe she’ll have more positive qualities, like Faye ended up developing as her character grew but for now it just seems like Mindy is super possessive of her, and Ana just brushes off everyone so it’s totally pointless.
Bleh, I hope Leslie doesn’t just go for relationships that she has to put all the work in. But maybe Anna will surprise me.
I have always hated Faye. She is that character the author wants you to love because being “sassy” is soooo cool (apparently “sassy” means “jerk”) but you know you would despise her in real life and avoid her like the plague…
The in-world explanation is that she’s suppused to be hot, so guys take all her shit without resistance, but she doesn’t really look so hot. I guess she just fits the author tastes?
This gives nuance to Mindy. Still pathetic, but now with helpful intentions added. (I want those eyebrows back on the page)
Panel 5: Anna’s “I wasn’t paying attention to what Mindy said, anyway she mumbles” is pretty telling. Anna, dental hygienist, spends her day talking with people who have all that stuff crammed in their mouth, and maybe a shot of novocaine, and *Mindy* mumbles?
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: Colored printer paper! Woo!
What? I’m allowed to have a total Dorothy moment about office supplies… Pastel colors are soothing, Chad! *retreats into nerdy embarrassment*
Panel 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM
“Son, be a denti-st.”
Panel 3: Interesting dodge there Anna. Is it because you recognize working and living with someone massively hung up on you isn’t fully healthy? Or because you don’t feel comfortable with any conversation where you feel more on the back foot?
Like, I feel that one moment might be extremely telling for a lot of how Anna operates and why she incorporates the exact style of interaction where things are a bit more combative that she does.
Panel 4: Especially since this is such a nonsense question. Like, Anna knows that’s made up bullshit. That that is a transparent cover-up for a date that didn’t work out. But here, Anna outs it and then places it into this conversation, putting Leslie in the position of having to answer to why a completely different person would state such a bizarre lie about her.
And it’s such a subtly shitty thing to do, breeding even more negativity between the two women by revealing Mindy’s attempt to save face in a way that embarrasses or upsets Leslie. While also placing the pressure on Leslie to feel she has to make up for something, like, why would she make up this lie, answer to that in a speculative way that invites you to be shitty back to this other person.
And yeah, it’s a massive red flag for mistreatment. Like, there’s a lot of value in noticing how a person treats their exes and service workers. Like service workers especially as it can reveal a lot of how they behave when they don’t feel they have to put on an act.
But exes can be valuable too. Like, people can have abusive exes and that’s important. But if the person is going out of their way on a consistent basis to tear down random exes or seems to have gallons of bad blood with all of them, that can be a very big sign.
And something like this, where they are very early on trying to badmouth them and create an antagonistic relationship, definitely smells of someone who recognizes that the ex has some major dirt on them and wants to manage the field in a specific way.
Now I really shouldn’t have to say it, but ignoring these red flags doesn’t make Leslie deserving of the potential abuse that may happen trying to date Anna nor does it make her responsible for it or a moron.
Not jumping at red flags is a positive trait, a sign of coming from a position of good faith with romantic partners. It’s a tragedy when that willingness to give someone a chance gets so thoroughly misused by a person and turned into a weapon against them, where someone’s love and willingness to forgive gets used to trap them in unhealthy circumstances.
And the fault for that tragedy always lies with the abuser, never the abused. And I feel I would be saying that even if I didn’t have a history of abusive partners who exploited various aspects and mental health conditions of mine to try and harm me.
Panel 5: That all said, yikes is this a red flag that she goes out of her way to put down an ex and make excuses for not paying attention to what she says while in the midst of using something she said to paint a negative picture of her.
“Now I really shouldn’t have to say it, but ignoring these red flags doesn’t make Leslie deserving of the potential abuse that may happen trying to date Anna nor does it make her responsible for it or a moron.
Not jumping at red flags is a positive trait, a sign of coming from a position of good faith with romantic partners. It’s a tragedy when that willingness to give someone a chance gets so thoroughly misused by a person and turned into a weapon against them, where someone’s love and willingness to forgive gets used to trap them in unhealthy circumstances.
And the fault for that tragedy always lies with the abuser, never the abused. And I feel I would be saying that even if I didn’t have a history of abusive partners who exploited various aspects and mental health conditions of mine to try and harm me.”
Heck, I’m saying it, and I’ve definitely never had any abusive partners* who tried to exploit… well, any aspect of me.
*If anything, I was probably the shittier one back then. Hopefully not abuse-style shitty, but still probably shittier than they were.
Oh, I am not saying that Leslie deserves to be punished, I’m saying that she somehow seems to seek punishment…
Because, come on, a politician who wants to limit your rights because she argues that you sexuality is a disease and God hates it? That goes beyond a mere red flag, there is no way she could ignore that, no matter how big her crush…
How was that going to end in anything but a lot of pain and a massive heartbreak? … Robin could have been a true homophobe and have told Leslie that she was crap, or she could have been a cold, calculating sociopath who didn’t believe homosexuality was wrong but didn’t care either…
What she got, an annoying woman-child with some loose screws was the least possible harmful thing she could expect…
In short, it kinda seems like some part of her subsconscious is actively looking for horrible people who will hurt her…
I’m gonna quote captain awkward here: It’s a depressingly common story and it has its hooks in us deep. It’s affirmed by so much of our media and popular culture, every time some morose asshole on TV reforms temporarily for the sake of some long-suffering woman in the name of “true love”, every time some woman puts in the work and then more work and puts in even more work because maybe redemption will come and she has to try because “relationships take work.” “If I can just love him better/give him some more time/accommodate him more, he’ll be kind to me and I won’t have to do the terrible work of kicking myself free of him/starting over.”
Ok, that panel 5 doesn’t sound so bad honestly. She’s just describing how she could have misheard her. The rest is still a red flag though
not just. she’s also putting the blame for it on Mindy, in a deprecating way.
my love of school supplies turned into a love of rainbow whiteboard markers. 🙂 although there was a post-it phase too, judging by how there’s still a bunch of them under my desk mat 😉 yay colours! (and yes, pastels *are* soothing, I’m still a bit sad I missed ikea’s mint-green phase.)
as for Anna, you picked up red flags (or details of them) I hadn’t even noticed… like the ‘crazy’-ex thing that I have ignored before, augh. 😛 It is very helpful to have these things spelled out.
Rainbow markers are the best! I feel empty if I don’t have a full rainbow on hand to choose from.
And oh man, post-its… Post-its is basically my main teacher organization system at the moment…
I may in fact be Dorothy…
🙂 🙂 Ikea sells transparent desk mats that are great for holding a bunch of post-its in place. I keep meaning to mention that to r/ADHD but forgetting…
Also I got some strips of magnet from the dollar store and a couple of squares of whiteboard material from Staples, so I have whiteboards on my whiteboards. 😁
Oh my god, that song was the first thing that came to mind for me, too
Addendum to note:
Sometimes queer femme relationships can also mask red flags. There’s often certain behaviors that if they occurred in say someone who was a guy would be much more obvious as the red flags that they are that can be diffused in queer relationships as there’s hesitation to read them in the same way*.
*To use a personal example, my ex-fiancee was in many ways a bro stereotype (Call of Duty, massive amounts of weed, regularly checking Reddit), but since they also were very versed in feminism, I found it easy to interpret that neutrally until their full bro-ness made itself known.
“but since they also were very versed in feminism, I found it easy to interpret that neutrally until their full bro-ness made itself known.”
and that can happen with the best of intentions, too. my husband *introduced* me to feminism, including a book called Wifework that talks about how feminist couples still tend to fall into sexist habits around chores, and many years later – yup, we’d fallen into that and he’d picked up bad habits that were starting to look kinda gaslighty… it’s a good thing he’d been helping me learn to communicate so I could eventually put my foot down and have some Talks.
Why (and how) do you think it happened that he started acquiring those habits?
They work together too? Ooooh boy.
Lying like that also isn’t exactly cool Mindy. I mean was this just embarrassment or just wanting to be a roadblock to this (admittedly what will be probably disastrous) relationship because of your inability to let it go when it comes to Anna?
Honestly Mindy needs to at least move out and stop living with her. I mean the fact that they don’t even get a break from each other even at /work/ is really, really bad. I mean I guess there’s always the possibility they have slightly different days off since a dental office may be open seven (or at least six) days and shifts and all that and what have you. But bets are they probably spend four or five days when they’re in the same building for all of their waking hours most likely. Knocking elbows all the time.
This is really not good for either of them honestly. Mindy needs to love herself and get over Anna and can’t do that if she’s always there. And honestly Anna living AND working near 24-7 with some ex who can’t get over you would not be fun. At all. I’d probably be not quite as… abrasive but let me tell you I’d be emotionally exhausted. I just wouldn’t say anything at all if I could help it and retreat into myself. Not so fun for Anna either.
The only thing gotten out of this is probably a shared rent payment and the mental drain for both of them is really probably not worth that.
Wait, wait. ‘MY’ Dental Office. Does that mean Anna is Mindy’s boss?!
That’s even worse if so.
You don’t under any circumstances live long term with your bosses/employees. The only possible exception is you all work in some bunker in the antarctic for six months. Otherwise: hell no. It’s just a bad idea all around with that kind of power dynamic.
Possible, but kind of surprising if the dentist is getting her own office supplies. Seems more like what the receptionist would need to do in that situation.
But yeah, pretty creepy if Anna’s the boss.
My dentist is married to his office manager. I don’t know what their life is like outside of the office (and it’s none of my business), but they work really well together in the office. It’s a mom-and-pop business, except one of them is a dentist.
And I don’t know why people are assuming that Anna is Mindy’s boss. If Anna were a dentist, especially one who owned her own practice, she would presumably be spending as much time as she could doing dentistry while someone else (e.g., an office manager) was dealing with things like office supplies.
And if two people can live together as roommates after becoming exes, it’s not unreasonable to imagine that they could work in the same office after becoming exes. Healthy? Probably not, but you have to live somewhere, and you have to work somewhere; and if you’ve already got a somewhere that works for you, why change without a compelling reason?
at the bottom of panel 2, she complains about whoever’s supposed to be getting paper not doing it fast enough for her liking. so yeah, I think she is the dentist.
I read that as “the supplies I ordered haven’t come in fast enough”, not “my employee hasn’t gotten it fast enough”.
Why are you such an asshole Anna lol
We need to see Mindy in a meaningful relationship at some point.
I wonder if Anna is related to Renee over in Questionable Content.
Renee during Padma’s bakery tenure, I imagine?
I like the new Renee now, less of a Faye lookalike, with more personality.
It’s right next to Latveria and Freedonia, isn’t it?
due south of Sneezia and Belchia
Oh, great, Richard Spencer and his ilk are back in Charlottesville. Be ready to light up your phone lines and ask your reps and senators to condemn them and, if you’re able, donate to anti hate groups.
Hail to Bulmeria,
A country I didn’t make up!
Good thing you weren’t a missionary in Bulmeria. You would’ve died in the Galra raid.
Not sure if meta or if Anna is a multiversal singularity.