It’s true, readers! Before Dumbing of Age, I drew other webcomics! With that in mind, may I draw your attention towards this Kickstarter for the first collection of It’s Walky! material, which was a comic featuring some early versions of Dumbing of Age characters fighting aliens under the employ of the government. Yeah, I know, weird, whatever.
I drew this webcomic from Christmas 1999 through late 2004, but the story in the book is a collection of the first few months. Also the book features the redrawn version of this storyline which I drew in 2005 and 2014.
there are also some character magnets, if you’re into that sort of thing
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creepiest reveal EVAR
and already pledged!
How Cheshirean.
I knew I recognized that grin from somewhere.
Cheshirean?
….
…. I KNOW I know that word from somewhere, but the memory’s faded. How peculiar.
Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland.
On that topic, an excellent song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ueZo5i6GPg
She was making a joke because the Cheshire Cat fades out to a smile then vanishes, like her memory
It’s official! She can teleport! Cheshire style!
Oh God I just noticed she loads in. First her head, then the top half, then she’s all there. That’s so much creepier than her just standing there waiting for Malyla to notice
It’s actually as Malaya lowers the box … like Joyce comes out of the box itself, or the box wipes away the invisibility screen.
Maybe she’s leaning forward with that manic grin, and the rest of her body catches up from the neck down coincidentally as the box is being lowered? All without her1 head lowering or raising due to the slant of her body?
It’s like Malaya owns Mary Poppins’ freakin’ handbag, and hides overly cheerful people inside it.
… which is pretty darn creepy.
It’s the reverse Marty McFly.
Time for a battle of epic proportions. The two titans of their temperaments going at it!
Watch, they’ll actually get along super well.
Realistically though, Joyce is Lucy 2.0. The only difference is that her fandom is God. And Monkey Master.
I suddenly get the sense that Joyce was destined to be in the dorm with a welcoming committee, but ended up here by mistake.
And then at the end of the book she says “THIS is Forest Quad!” And Ruth just cackles.
At least she’s a neighbor instead of a roommate, so to Malaya this is a step up.
Except Malaya doesn’t like Sal either, so…
[snorts] You reminded me of that one clip with a guy talking about how religious people are the true nerds… using a Blood Raven Space Marine as an example.
One difference is that Joyce just shares a half-bath with her, not a room…
I see Dumbing of Age has already perfected teleporter technology.
Nah, Joyce is practicing one of the techniques of Brown Ryu Ninjitsu.
(No, I don’t know how conservative Christians ended up practicing ninjitsu, so don’t ask.)
A ninja might seen their family throw shuriken-shaped crucifixes at the enemy and decided they were worthy of Ninja training. You know, like Dr. McNinja’s ancestral village.
Christian Ninjas!?!
…
I did NOT expect that!
I mean, Hellsing has a bayonette using Wolverine Priest as well as a katana wielding nun so why not!? Or are you referring to Dr. McNinja?
Actually, i was paraphrasing a line from Grrl Power. A girl who, in the past, had said “ALWAYS. EXPECT. NINJAS.”, was surprised by fashion ninjas, who took her measurements without her seeing them.
Still more predictable than the Spanish Inquisition.
Well, apparently there’s sufficient congruence in the belief systems so you can have an orthodox Jewish Rabbi who could be a ninja, so…
…now I’m sad and no one can understand why.
There might have been some ninja who became Christians before the Tokugawa Shogunate suppressed Christianity in the 17th Century.
We already knew Joyce can magically teleport 5 feet.
What we just learned is that can not only teleport into dorm rooms, but she can do so while instantaneously changing her clothes.
Not until it makes the TNG transporter sound effects.
Do I want to know how Malaya knows what unicorns smell like?
They smell like horny horses of cause.
you the comments.
What does a unicorn smell like?
Like a horse. What else would it smell like? It’s just a horse with pretentions.
Like a horse that farts rainbows and glitter
What do rainbows sm– why am I asking.
Scientifically: probably water vapor. NOT scientifically: either Skittles or different types of flowers corresponding to the different colors.
What do Skit- ya know, gonna stop right here.
I thought it was ice-cream [references to a WC accessory commercial]
Aha – found it https://i.imgur.com/d2yrVVr.jpg
OoooooKay – lets try that gain ^_^!
https://youtu.be/KlEovr29KBU
Speaking as a barista for Starbucks: mango, blue raspberry Warheads, and sugar.
About halfway between a horse and a pronghorn.
Or alternately: a mix between a Japanese sea urchin dish and maize.
I see what you did there.
And now I can’t unsee it.
I don’t know — but I do know what Unicorn Tears smell like.
Ask Bubbles.
And Roko Basilisk. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3427
Like horny ponies.
Starfish & coffee, maple syrup & jam.
Pancakes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9BiKeSerSY
Oh. Oh God. This belongs in a horror movie.
Substitute in Amber’s smile (from her fight with Ryan).
I picture this scene as having a soundtrack. It’s the theme from jaws played on a soprano recorder. Or possibly an accordion.
How does her body….? Y’know what, I don’t need to know.
Dina’s a good teacher.
When did she teach? WE NEVER SAW HER TEACH JOYCE ANYTHI-….
…..
…. oh, she’s a REALLY good teacher….
Panel 2
Where is the everlasting fuck is Joyce’s body?
she hasn’t finished teleporting in at the scent of NEW POSSIBLE FRIEND yet
This caused me to contemplate the parallels between Joyce and Fluffmodeus from “Something Positive.”
“HUGS NOW!”
“Hello, New Friend!”
Nice take!
yeah I am genuinely confused by that
My best guess is she’s developing powers similar to the Cheshire Cat
She just hasn’t finished phasing into reality. nbd.
She just hadn’t finished downloading yet.
I think she’s stepping in from out-of-panel? But yeah, teleportation could explain it. :p
Part of her body is also missing in panel 3.
In the box.
coming this fall: alien vs. joyce
I thought it was Malaya vs. Predator
Predator is still in the Hospital ….
Cue the adorablest cover of the Jaws theme ever.
Jaws in Major key.
Seriously look it up.
I just did.
It’s true.
It’s Joyce’s theme song
Did Joyce just materialize out of thin air?
Joyce had a boom-tube installed so she could visit Billie for Morning Mugs!
Did Joyce just teleport?
I don’t think of myself as an epicure, but buttered noodles sounds like the blandest food possible. I love white rice, sure, but not as a whole meal.
They taste pretty good with pork chops. Theyre mostly emergency food when you are being cheap or low on ingredients and dont want ramen again.
My nephew eats it because he doesn’t like “red sauce”. It’s better than it sounds especially since we use good noodles. Some real butter. A bit of salt and pepper. And voila!
Swap out the butter and swap in olive oil and I agree.
Burn the butter. I’m serious, stick half a stick of butter in a hot frying pan and cook until it’s basically black, then pour over egg noodles and serve with cheese. It’s really good.
I always enjoyed buttered noodles with a tiny sprinkle of white sugar. It’s extremely comforting, in the same way I imagine fairy bread is.
As a child I was very Joyce-esque when it came to stepping outside my comfort zone, especially with food (and complete with blonde hair and giant blue eyes) and that was the only way I’d eat noodles because I was afraid of all foods with flavor apparently.
They were actually pretty yummy from what I recall, but now I’d find them boring without at least some garlic and maybe lemon tossed in there….mmmm garlic lemon butter noodles, now that sounds good!
That’s what she had for lunch with Jacob.
The fact that she doesn’t also smell like meatballs suggests that she just ate around them.
……
….. unless they were unicorn meatballs?
Sound like something Voldemort would eat. Daily.
blue eyes the size of the sun: beware. :p
Be afraid, Malaya. Be very afraid…
*plays The Supernaturals’ “Smile” on the hacked Muzak*
WHERE DID SHE COME FROM
Joyce = Magic
More formally:
Joyce is Friendship. Friendship is Magic. By the transitive property, Joyce is Magic. Q.E.D.
That’s just science.
The same place Cheshire Cats go to.
More of Joyce appears as Malaya’s lowering the box, ergo: Joyce was in the box.
La Porte.
Now I’m imagining this song playing as Joyce appears behind Malaya for some reason.
*clears throat*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAA AAA AAAAAA, AAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAA. AAAAAAA? AAAA AAAA, AAAA AAAAA A AAAAAA, AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAA. AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AAAAA AAA AAAAAA! AAA A AAAA AAA.
AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA AAA AAAAA AA AAAAAA A AAAA. AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA, AAAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA A AAAAAA AAAA AAAA A AAAA AAA” AAAAAAA AAAAA AAA AAAA AAAA. AAAAAAA AAAAA AAA! AAAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*pants, out of breath*
*inhales sharpy*
A.
You missed an “A”.
Fack.
Welcome to hell fucker. 😈
(Honestly thought I’ve kind of been waiting for this interaction)
Nah, Malaya’s hell is Joyce and Lucy under one dorm.
Malaya is the one who has a weak enough behavioural filter that she would actually bring up that Lucy and Joyce are separated-at-birth twins in behavioural terms.
Lucy is essentially a race-recast of Joyce.
And Joyce would immediately hunt down this New Best Friend (under the guise of visiting Billie, of course).
I’m waiting for Malaya to meet SARAH.
(Same.)
Wow. Malaya has a strong nose if she can feel Joyce incoming as finely.
So… Joyce’s head just materialized sans body and quickly formed from the neck down? What is she? A Joyce copy made from a 3D printer?
What if she fazed through the wall like Kitty Pryde?
Joyce? Faz’d?
…I’ll believe it Wen I see it.
New head canon accepted.
OW! My chuckulus intensus muscle is all sprained and everything :-).
To those who ask whether Joyce can teleport, the answer is obviously ONLY WHEN IT’S FUNNY!
I’m sorry, this strip is funny but I am permanently distracted by Marcie. We don’t see her enough. I hope the fact Sal and Malaya live nearby changes that.
ive got a bad feeling ab this scoob
Aww, Malaya’s attempt at gratitude is adorable. And I like how sensitive she’s consistently been to Marcie’s stated desires or interests (learning sign language, recognizing Marcie’s awkward state of affairs with Sal).
Whether or not it’s the structure Marcie wants, I think they are at the very least forming a close healthy friendship which is kinda awesome.
She really tries to be a good friend, which is extra adorable given how bratty she behaves to everyone else. With Marcie she makes an effort.
Exactly. She is so extra prickly with everyone and is quick for a fight so to see her so down-to-earth, comfortable, and empathetic with Marcie shows how deeply she respects and cares about Marcie’s well-being even if it’s not necessarily in the way Marcie wants.
Plus, just the softness of her eyes as she checks in.
Honestly, that whole Sal crew seems to share that same fear of openly showing vulnerability (with the possible exception of Marcie) and only seem to really come alive with people they trust enough to let slip the mask or that readiness to fight with the world for various reasons*.
*I would so love to see some of the various reasons for Malaya. Like, we can see the impact of bullying and transphobia on Carla and the impact of racism, injustice, and being treated like a criminal on Sal, so it’d be nice to see why Malaya has a particular loathing for people she perceives as fake or aggressively friendly.
As much as I don’t like Malaya, I can relate to her aggressive dislike of the fake/aggressively over-friendly types.
Someone is aggressively over-friendly at me and I’m immediately on guard like “what are you after?”
Just cuz IME the very over-friendly types are swindlers, thieves, and assorted other predators 3/4 of the time and genuinely just that nice about 1/4 of the time. And I’m not gonna leave myself open to the 75% on the off chance they’re the 25%. Been burned too many times to take people who are trying too hard to get me to let my guard down at face value.
Finally! The long awaited meeting is nigh!
Hmmm….. Joyce, I hate to be THAT guy but, considering what we’ve all seen these might be the dark and evil forces your parents were warning you about. For those confused I was referring to Malaya and not Joyce’s sinister apparation into the room.
Don’t worry, this will work out fine. Every sound Joyce is about to make will be above the register of human hearing.
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND
8D
I almost feel sorry for her… almost.
(And I’m not referring to Joyce.)
Quick! Pick the box back up! PICK THE BOX BACK UP!
Mmm, buttered noodles.
Did… did Joyce just phase through a wall?
when you say unicorns, you summon joyce brown
She and Dina have been secretly practising ninja skills together.
I LOVE the expression that suggests the smell of buttered noodles and unicorns is about as enjoyable as getting an alicorn up one’s nose.
Malaya, Panel 4: I sense unbridled joy and enthusiasm at my presence. I have made a horrible mistake.
No. No! NOOO!! I GOT RID OF YOOOUUU!!!
NOT NOW, JOYCE. MALAYA ALMOST TALKED ABOUT FEELS!!!
HER EYEBROWS ARE DOING THE THING. RUN MALAYA RUN!!!
Pretty much exactly what I was going to say.
Joyce emerges from Malayas Box.
Pandora’s got nothing on Malaya.
When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object
You can tell that Joyce is thinking something along the lines of: “New person! New friend!” The question is whether Sal will deign to protect Malaya from Joyce (and vice-versa) or whether she’ll think that the resulting collision to be natural justice?
“If Ah’ve got t’deal with her, you get to deal with her, Malaya.”
…If I didn’t know Joyce, this would be some horror movie shit right here.
How . . . how does that second panel even work???
Very well, actually.
Simple. Joyce is holding a wall-colored blanket up to her chin, since it’s a chilly day in October. She slowly lowers it over the next few panels.
Cuteness in a box.
I just really want Marcie and Sal to make up. Malaya isn’t being fair, and she’s also not a replacement for such a long standing and important friendship. I think if they talk they can figure things out, even though Sal did mess up.
I hate Malaya so much that I want her out from between Marcie and Sal. She’s incredibly toxic and not good for either of them.
I mean, “Thanks for not being a butt and helping” when you KNOW she’s uncomfortable? What a shithead.
I also hate Malaya, but I still give her the benefit of the doubt. I read it as Marcie not being a butt, as compared to Sal, who is a butt for being Malaya’s new roommate and not helping. Because I don’t want to believe that she’d be that terrible to her friend. :/ But eh. It’s plausible she actually is that terrible.
(I don’t think Sal is a butt for that reason btw)
Yeah, raising my hand for being sad about the state of Sal and Marcie’s friendship. This freaking sucks. And I get that Malaya is pretty cool to Marcie, but she’s generally so incredibly toxic that I can’t trust someone who is nice to one person and needlessly vile to others.
It DOES suck, and Malaya is a huge asshole. I don’t like the idea that whatever hotness she’s rocking is worth her shit, especially with how she treats Sal. I really hope this gets fixed and the two of them get close again. They must miss each other a lot.
To me, it feels like Malaya is extremely uncomfortable giving praise and/or showing gratitude, like she may well be calling Marcie a butt, but not with the intention of insulting or demeaning her, but because she can’t quite bring herself to lower that particular defense mechanism all the way.
The concerned look on her face as she mentions the current situation between her and Sal (and what she explicitly told Sal earlier about wanting the two of them to work that out for Marcie’s sake) make it especially hard for me to see the semi-bratty tone of that comment as anything but a smokescreen.
HOLY SHIT, JOYCE IS A FREAKIN’ NINJA
…..does Joyce have access to a Star Trek transporter?
She thought she had escaped from cheery hallmate
NO
David, seriously? Only 5 years? I thought Roomies/ItsWalky went on for longer than that.
It suddenly occurred to me that, in the last panel, Malaya is talking to us. Meanwhile, Joyce may also be saying to herself: “Did she say ‘helping’? Ooh! I’m good at helping! Here! How can I help?”
Marcie can hear, so Malaya could still be talking to her.
New cryptid sighting: Joyce
Wait what. Was she hiding in that box?
Brace for Tackle Hug, Critical Love Levels in 3… 2… 1…
I love how you introduce her in the same way you would a serial killer hiding behind a bush. HAHA.
“She’s coming. You can’t stop her.”
“We all get hugs down here”
“Hope you been drinking your milk. I’ve been known to crack ribs with my affection.”
Tomorrow’s strip: “I’m moving back to my old room,” Malaya says.
She’ll see Lucy and remember why she left.
Then, almost to Read, escape a hug from Joyce, who is following her, and turn back to Forest.
And again, continually, until she is equidistant from both dorms, and she’ll stay there.
Unless Logic 101 taught her Zeno’s Paradox, for then she’d never find the exact midpoint, and she’d keep moving forever.
*Jaws theme intensifies*
(Resists urge to map DoA characters to Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass characters)
It occurred to me that, in using modern graphics programs (probably Photoshop, but other programs work that way too), Willis has inadvertently left layers turned on or off or interacting in the wrong way that resulted in characters appearing in odd ways in the final image. And this time he decided to do it on purpose for the sake of hilarity.
It’s pretty effective.
I know Joyce’s mouth is 90% teeth. Does her smile get just the tiniest bit bigger in the last lanel?
Once Sal sees what Joyce can do to Malaya’s eyes in panel 4, Sal become better friends with joyce
“An Enthusiastic Joyce materialises!”
IT’S A SHINY!
i’ve been looking forward to this ever since malaya moved in
So has Joyce.
I feel like there should be a BAMF sound effect in there somewhere
I’m pretty sure Pinkie Pie could do that…
I think that we have long since established that Joyce is the DoA-verse’s Pinkie Pie. Dorothy is probably Twilight Sparkle and Sal is Rainbow Dash.
I AM THE BOX GHOST
BEWARE!
Dorothy as Twilight; I can totally see that. Smart, super-organized, but still trying to figure out friendship. And always will be.
Oops, that was meant as a reply to BenRG Sorry
Joyce: OMG OMG OMG NEW FRIEND YOURE SOOO CUTE WERE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
*Malaya’s face remains impassive. However, her hand creeps toward blank Room Transfer form on her desk*
Sal (watching from her bunk): Yes! YEEEEEEEESSSS DOOO EEET
…. Perfection. I hope this is a thing. XD
I would love to see this one animated.
thisgunnabegood
…she literally went in smile first
Joyce = Lewis Carol’s Cheshire Cat confirmed.
Some interesting dynamics are possible here…
Joyce probably wants to be friends with the newcomer, but her and Sal have (sort of) become friends. (Well, as much as Sal can be friends with anyone. Remember, Sal did invite Joyce to go biking.) But Joyce doesn’t know about the current tension between Malaya and Sal.
Will Joyce continue trying to befriend Malaya? Will Mayala reciprocate? (Probably not, but who knows? She may do so as a way to get another ‘dig’ at Sal, i.e. “I’m stealing another friend”.) Will Sal withdraw further as she sees Joyce and Malaya becoming friends and think she’s being crowded out?
The idea of casually mentioning that you once did other webcomics is weird. I remember the day that this whole comic was nothing more than an Ultimates-esque one shot on the pages of ShortPacked.
We all thought ‘that would be an awesome idea!’ followed by a sort of understanding that it was probably too much to expect you to just jump ship and focus on a whole new project.
And i like to think that we’re all so glad you did.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
also lol @ Joyce slowly teleporting into the panel
Woooo, your great Dealmaker of a President has reneged on the Pacific trade treaty, and now the €$ is almost at 1.17! Fun times, when I’m paid in $ for my freelance work but live in €. But sure, another 7 and half years of this crap, this is gonna be great. You guys mind stop winning anytime soon?
If this is what winning feels like, I would gladly throw the game…
HELLO NEW FRIEND!
Well-played. Extremely well-played.
H … HOW DID SHE
Panel 2, I legit thought Joyce was a poster. You might say that’s understandable, since her lower body isn’t visible even though it should be. However, that fails to take into account that WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE HAVE A JOYCE POSTER.
Give me one reason why someone *wouldn’t* have one
Grav Roulette for the WIN
That isn’t possible unless joyce is a literal demon.
So she has been lying all this time, just like a demon would.
(Starts playing the Halloween theme in major key.)
Because all this makes me think of is that scene at the top of the stairs where Michael fades in from the dark…
Joyce Hug in 3.. 2.. 1..
(unicorns smell like meatballs?)
Jesus Christ How Horrifying
*Joyce intensifies*
Ah so Joyce has Dina’s powers except she uses reality among people’s arms instead of swaying doors