She *IS* searching her feelings and she does know it to be true … and that’s what is bothering her so much. I think she was also feeling much the same after having gone into full ‘Avenging Angel’ mode on Toedad’s ass as well as in the aftermath of her beatdown of Blaine, too. This is one very troubled — and right now, very fragile — young woman.
Wouldn’t want to be her grandfather and say the wrong thing right now! If she didn’t give him the ultimate verbal takedown,vher relatives might need to start porbate on their inheritence…
Yea hopefully if his wife was alive that would be squashed. His abuse mostly consisted in wanting grandchildren way too much especially when Conquest was too young for that.
Hmmmn… I am assuming that if his wife is alive, then the horse thing didn’t happen, as she probably would have had a problem with that stroke of genius. Maybe not, but probably. Depends on a) how much she’s under his thumb, and b) if she’s a zoo herself and wanted Conquest to keep the family tradition alive…
I’m on Team Metaphor, she’s hearing his voice in her head and drawing him as though he’s there is just a way to express that in a visual medium.
One of Amber’s biggest fears is becoming like her father (remember what Mike said to her about her relationship with Danny). I think a part of her is second-guessing how far she went in retaliation against not-Ryan, as part of that fear. Hearing Blaine’s voice encourage this shameful side of her personality fits both his MO and her mental state. Of course he’s not feeding this to her telepathically, this is what she thinks he’d say if he was actually there. It’s another peek at her inner conflict.
“Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger! With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
I remember that scene in “Cider House Rules” where the abusive knife-fetish father of some girl is awfully proud that she has lethally wounded him in a manner securing a slow and painful death for him.
In other words: I am not sure that he’s oblivious. Strange people are strange.
in panel two, the door’s shadow stage-right of his right leg is 8px tall, while stage-left of his leg it’s 12px tall. to me this suggests his leg is casting a shadow
well hey at least he’s being complimentary? that’s not GOOD but at least it’s novel
(probably why this version is only in her head, honestly, REAL blaine would be like “well look at the mess of trouble that i now have to sort out, why couldn’t you just stay out of it”)
Well yeah. Blaine would have spun the Ryan incident in a way to make Amber feel weak and dependent on him, like he did with Sal’s failed robbery. And on some level Amber knows this.
But that doesn’t change that she’s come to associate every bad part of her with Blaine, so of course the Blaine in her head will compliment her for letting go of her restraints and doing what “he” would have done.
Not necessarily, there’s not a lot of point from a storytelling perspective for imaginary dad to be telling her his approval unless his approval is something she’s wanted.
This is clearly a case of “Your approval fills me with shame.”
Blaine doesn’t really seem to be all that manipulative, he’s more straight-up violent. You’re mixing him up with Ruth’s guardian, who is a different guy with a different bad parenting deal.
Um, he manipulated Danny so he could use him as a hostage. He is totally for some manipulation, he just doesn’t use it as extensively as Ruth’s grandfather.
It’s a clear parallel to what he said after the robbery when he goaded her into stabbing Sal. Wonder what he said afterwards?
Definitely “your approval fills me with shame”, but such is the wonder of abusive parenting, it’s also something she’s longed for throughout her childhood. Just another bit of evidence (to her) that she’s becoming what she fears – a monster like him.
Joking aside, yeah. People like Blaine exist. He’s a little more dramatic than most RL counterparts would be but this IS a comic. (I was going to include other examples of things being dramatic but changed my mind.)
Indeed. The only thing that makes Blaine different from many real life abusers is that he lunged at a young woman (Ruth) in front of witnesses and even that’s not something completely unheard of. Most physically abusive people who get away with it do so in part because they never do it in front of anyone who will talk.
This is true, he likely wouldn’t have done so if he wasn’t actively chasing Amber. When he was no longer in pursuit of Amber, he did not say, attack Billie who chased him down, he was calm again.
There are abusers that will be violent and aggressive in front of witnesses but generally abusers try to be more controlled than that as they don’t want legal repercussions and the like.
Ruth’s grandfather is an example of someone who is confident enough in their abuse that they will frequently and regularly do it right in front of others, but still keep the loudest parts hidden away from people in actual authority i.e. he didn’t give a damn that Billie saw it or heard it but like hell was he going to shout at Ruth in front of the R.M..
Honestly?
I could almost hear my dad talking like that, though he never beat anyone in my family (other issues like sexism irregardless). He’d be just a little less blood thirsty. Slightly.
For those with shitty awful parents, it can be awful to be strong. Because it can feel like the poison of your abusive parent working through you. One of the reasons I’ll do strength exercise, but never self-defense classes. Too much risk of triggering or fulfilling fears.
I avoided self-defence classes for that reason for a long time. And then I did wendo (which does a lot about perception, holding your space, being attentive and actually getting used to having options than mere bodily training and techniques). There, on bad days, I could ask the others to train slow-motion with me, because I was in a bad place and might be triggered easily.
And it was glorious to have a training partner who wasn’t afraid of me and my strength even though she was practically half my size.
I found self defense/martial arts very therapeutic for me, in that it taught me that I am in control of what I do with my body. Others’ mileage may vary, but yeah for me martial arts was key in reclaiming my physical agency.
OTOH I get suuuper anxious if we have an exercise involving punching something next to someone because my father liked to hit the wall next to my face so yeah I can see where you are coming from if it all felt like that I don’t think I could do it either.
My dad was like this when I was in middle school. I knocked a kid to the ground and when I got suspended for it, he was disappointed I didn’t leap on him and beat him bloody.
Amber doesn’t have a maiden name, tho. She’d be changing her name, not changing it back. I know, seems like a petty distinction, but it can be a lot harder, for some people.
That would really suck if she was developing schizophrenia like symptoms (I know there’s a formal term for any type of hallucination, but I don’t remember what it is) on top of the dissociative stuff.
Also, I’m pretty confident in thinking that Blaine has never told Amber “I knew you could do it”. Amber, your dad is too shitty to even praise you for this! Which is…good?????
Also, now I do have to feel bad her mom left her for donuts. 🙁
You know, the last couple of strips I was thinking, “C’mon Stacy, Amber needs time at the doorway where it happened to process heavy stuff, give her space, don’t keep interrupting that.”
…..
INTERRUPT IT! INTERRUPT IT! BURY IT IN DONUTS AND TRIVIALITIES!
There’s so much badness here, the fixated self-abuse staring at the door, unable to move, just beating herself up over the event, twisting the narrative to view herself as unsympathetic as possible, having a persona of her father approving of her actions. This is brutal to see.
And especially as she likely has some form of dissociative disorder, this being a potential new alter is a possibility and one that does not pose good things for her mental health as alters like this can be brutal and hard to figure out what to do with.
I’ve got one I’ve just gotten to calling Pit who has just absorbed all the hateful messaging that gets thrown at folks like me and vomits at me whenever I’m down or tired. And they can get downright abusive in their tactics, playing on my fears and insecurities. They are clearly in pain and lashing out but I haven’t figured out a way to reach them yet.
And this, at best, reminds me of that, of something in her emulating those deeper fears, making them feel real, present, unavoidable, shutting the gate on her hopes of being a good person. And I worry a lot for the Amber alter. She’s already been terrified of being a monster, of being something the AG alter has to guard against and contain and now she’s got this praising the exact qualities of Amber she is terrified of.
And at worse, it could be a sign of additional illnesses or disorders cropping up in her garden of PTSD, which is hard enough for her to deal with especially as it doesn’t seem anyone has taken her to get any real mental health care yet (or maybe Amber’s mom did and just didn’t mention it).
But yeah, this is why Mike’s “pep talk” was actually awful for her. Because she’s terrified of being the violent badass, the person everyone is afraid to mess with. The violent asshole everyone is afraid of is her dad. Is what she fears is corrupting her veins. She never wants to be the violent one again.
And she gives herself no quarter for the terrifying position she was in. For being in a situation where defending herself was a necessity to avoid being incredibly physically harmed as well as letting others be harmed. What she did was necessarily heroic, but at the terrible cost of a lot of her mental health.
Or just playing out in her thoughts. Do scenarios not run in your mind? It’s a visual representation of the fact that she’s become what her father wanted her to be.
It was occurring to me that somewhere inside her, there was a part of Amber who still craved just this sort of approval and acceptance from her father. Craved it, and never got it.
It’s merged with what you just said about a new alter.
Now I’m thinking of an Amber-alter… let’s call her Daddy’s Girl… who is everything he’s ever told her to be. Strong, self-reliant, takes no shit from anyone. Not outright evil, oh no, of course not! But someone who stands up for herself and makes sure everyone knows that she’s on top of the pecking order, who always gives better than she gets, doesn’t give any backtalk, and does what’s necessary to win.
…..
….. okay, my sympathy for Amber is warring with my love of drama, here.
Mike doesn’t much recognize the kind of power which conflates with “respect”, does he?
I get it, that sometimes he’s a “necessary truth-teller”.
But often there’s more to it than that; Sarah once told Joyce that continuing to “date” Ethan would lose her friends, especially Dorothy. This is Sarah at her best, her “not doing it for the joy” demeanor, prefaced with the truthful “I don’t butt into other folks’ business, however…” and she doesn’t take pleasure in shit-stirring the way Mike seems to all too often.
I’m gonna say what I’ve always said.
I relate to this. Even if logically you know genetics don’t work that way and that abusive tendencies don’t run in your family…that mindset doesn’t go away once it’s there. It just doesn’t. I’m able to logically convince myself that I’m not my dad and even I STILL feel like if I don’t control my emotions I’ll snap.
I don’t think I’d mind stabbing a rapist. I’m pretty defensive and morally have no real issue with violence when necessary…but if I attacked someone (even if they deserved it) in a state of total loss of control/blackout then I’d still be scared. I’d still be worried about what it said about me. Even knowing logically that it doesn’t have to mean shit…this mindset takes forever to get rid of. I’m still working on it.
I hope this comic shows her handling it eventually down the road. Because maybe that will help people like me.
A propensity to violence *can* be genetic in certain cases, but propensity isn’t destiny. On the other hand exposure to violence beats violence. We carry our parents around inside us.
Also, Amber needs the mask in order to provide a safe outlet for her violent tendencies. Safe because they are expressed and curtailed by a strict comic-book moral code. Easy to criticize, but Amber makes it work.
Not a safe outlet. She almost died multiple times, because she had something to prove.
Shes Taken out Blaine; Sal, her original nemesis, reformed.
She caught the rapist Amazigirl let escape, and…
what Blaine said… She didnt freeze, she didnt use a defensse mechanism,
She disarmed and took out a Slasher in a action.
Amazigirl also exists to overcome crippling social anxiety.
She has conquered her biggest fears in real life as herself, not amazigirl.
She needs to take a break and absorb these things and integrate these new facts.
I see your point. Last time, it was about stabbing a black girl ; this time, it was a white man.
Is Blaine an asshole who will automatically stand for the most privileged, or a true whateverpath who wants only his kin to win at life ?
(Or, you know, a terrible parent who will be disappointed in you whatever you do. “Okay you stabbed a dude. Like I told you. Well. Hum. You could have stabbed him more gracefully. Not very ladylike of you !”)
I probably should have said “if she can” rather than “to”. Obviously the answer would be yes, it just feels like the type of thing you’d ask before doing even if you know you can. To me anyway.
Or she could pick her own last name! She could be Amber Fitzstacy and when people ask her about it she could say “Because I have no father” and they could go “Okay, but you know that means ‘Son of’ right?” and she can you “…Yes, but all the ‘Daughter of’ prefixes sound weird with ‘Stacey'”
How about the Gaelic “Nic-” meaning “daughter of”? Then it could be NicStéise, or maybe NicAnnstas if you want to use the older equivalent of “Anastasia” for “Stacy.”
Her dad probably WOULD say this. Her dad would probably be proud of her. After all, her dad IS the one who made her learn how to fight.
The voice thay has been pushing her all this time is the one who said to her so many years ago, “Don’t you want to be different? Don’t you WANT to be different?!”
Well, she has finally proven she has become different – in the way he meant. On some level, it might even feel good.
Or he would be disappointed again for another arbitrary reason like ‘You only stabbed him a little! What kind of a failure doesn’t know how to stab!’ because he is an asshole and an abuser and would do anything to destroy her confidence in herself to have control over her.
Am I alone in considering the possibility that the entire chapter so far has only existed in Amber’s mind? The first panel of her outside the doors has her alone, sans Stacy. Then inside, with Stacy. Then outside, with Blaine.
Blaine’s appearance seems to be accepted here by readers as imaginary; I don’t see why Stacy’s is necessarily otherwise. And the characters have, since the chapter beginning, seemed a bit “off” according to some of the comments. Maybe they’re acting the way Amber thinks they might, and she’s in a rubber room in a straitjacket.
(She DOES know about Joe’s “Do list” BTW. )http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/journalism/
I wanna say that seems a bit too much but Stacey did spontaniously disappear for a panel two strips ago, and the Matt Smith coat swap from Doctor Who series 5 has made me endlessly paranoid about the possibility of visual continuity errors being deliberate.
I considered it, Heather, and then decided that the only reason we couldn’t see Stacy was that Dana was blocking our view. Fueled by a donut sugar high, she was in stealth mode checking to see if any dinosaurs had wondered onto campus.
I think it was more that Amber walked up first, storming away from Mike, then stood there frozen, unable to enter until Stacy caught up.
Doesn’t really make sense as imaginary – particularly with a couple strips of Stacy interacting with Joe. Amber knows about Joe’s list, but she likely wouldn’t know about it being revealed or about Joe being pushed towards some sort of apology or about Danny’s “good egg” persona or about her mom & Richard.
Well you see, once there was a truck stop restroom next to a shady sea food restaurant in Iowa, where one of the toilets in the men’s room was never flushed. After fifty years of this, the truck stop was struck by lightning and caught fire, and out of the reeking smoke and the flames emerged a figure that was almost that of a man…
No No, the truth is that over those fifty years the shit created it’s own vicious, murderous civilization and once a single shit-being managed to beat the rest into submission he ordered a grand project to begin. Creating a humanoid robot he could use to go out into the world and spread it’s shittiness to it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one wondering how he got to the point where knife violence is just something that personal interactions naturally progress to. Or just violence, I guess.
Mind you he’s definitely a shitty person and I’m not saying the “why” of it excuses any of his toxicity. Knowing why a thing is a thing doesn’t make it any less of a thing or require you to have anything to do with aforementioned thing.
Him existing and being that much of a violent, abusive prick isn’t actually that unusual or in need of explanation, unfortunately.
The only really unusual bit is him managing to hold down a job capable of putting a kid through college while maintaining that level of asshole, while plenty of people like that exist it doesn’t generally serve them very well in the other parts of their life that require interacting with others and dealing reasonably with status differentials, like employment.
The thing about abusers is, apart from with their victims, they are able to treat everyone else around them perfectly normally – they are not INCAPABLE of respect for others. An abuser differs from the run of the mill asshole in this way – they are able to blend into society with everyone except around their victims who they don’t respect at all.
This is why it is so hard for victims to be believed about abuse – their abusers can hold respectful jobs e.g. teacher, doctor, nurse, firefighter, lawyer, surgeon and be very good at them, and they may volunteer, and they may be a pillar of their community. They may be shy and quiet and really funny or they may be loud and goofy and or they may be stoic but a hardworker – they may seem like the sweetest person in the world to everyone else. But they aren’t to their victims.
I wouldn’t mind if we got back to the happy lesbian stories. But perhaps nothing but Dina/Becky stories would be boring to other folks, including the author. 🙂
Why does he have shadows cast on him if he isn’t real? It’s creepy and I don’t like it.
…I guess a real hallucination would appear to interact with real world light (I don’t know, I never looked at mine long enough to tell) but video games have spent years telling me that things that aren’t real don’t have shadows or have shadows cast on them.
It’s a visual representation of what’s going on in Amber’s mind as she stands there quitely. In the first panel, shadows are cast on Blaine but he casts no shadow himself, unlike Amber . But since this is just to let us see what Amber is thinking, it’s kind of arbitrary.
Well I don’t know that that’s *all* they’d have to do. But, again, never looked at them long enough to appreciate anything beyond the fact that what I was looking at couldn’t be real.
Must be cool having the Flash as your father.
One millisecond he isn’t there, then another millisecond later he is there giving you advice. And then a millisecond after the last word leaves his mouth, he is gone again.
Thanks Pops.
Of course, that’s Amber’s greatest fear, isn’t it? That in becoming strong she is effectively becoming her father. That’s irrational but it’s a very real and very powerful fear for her and you can’t just wave it (and the effect it has on her) away simply because it is not true.
That’s another big problem for someone in Amber’s position? Those fears? The spectres of those who tormented you? They never really go away; you just learn to ignore them and not let them impact on your life nine times out of ten. Of course, it’s that one time out of ten that reall, really sucks.
She mostly can’t wave it away because it _is_ true. She quite literally roams the streets looking for someone to assault in her spare time, she’s pretty much turned into him already with the only difference being that she hasn’t dropped the last thin layer of rationalization yet.
When you’re already applying the cycle of violence to other people in actual physical terms it’s no longer an _unfounded_ worry, more the acknowledgement of an uncomfortable fact. She needs to start dealing with her abusiveness as an actual problem that’s already well-established in her behavior instead of pretending it’s a vague potential that may or may not come about, or it’ll get way the hell worse before it gets better.
Having anger problems and being prone to violence are not the same as being actually abusive, controlling, manipulative and tricking someone into a hostage situation the way Blaine did.
She is not her father for struggling with her anger issues combined with PTSD, DID and endless self-loathing that are all untreated, particularly when she tries to redirect her anger only at people who deserve it and then punishes herself for ever doing anything wrong ever like almost insulting someone and is punishing herself now for defending herself against someone that otherwise could have killed her, Dorothy and Joyce.
Blaine is a fuck-ton worse than just someone who has difficulty with anger management and goes looking for fights, even if it were fair to Amber to boil her down to such a description. Which it isn’t, because it’s been very clearly shown that she’s is a far, far better person than Blaine.
Art choices aside, it’s also entirely possible she’s just hearing Blaine and not seeing him. The big difference being tons of us hear our parents on a regular basis when they’re not there; it’s part of having an overbearing parent for most of your life.
That said, this is definitely echoing back to what happened with Sal. Before she got upset and stabbed Sal in the hand, Blaine had been berating her for not taking the knife from Sal and protecting her friend with it. Here, she took the knife from Druggo McStabbed and protected her friend with it. She came full circle and did what Blaine claimed he “wanted” her to do.
The problem at this point is whether or not she can use this as a turning point to heal, or if this sends her into a spiral of anxiety that she has become her dad despite her best efforts.
Killing is incredibly traumatic for the mentally / emotionally stable. I can hardly begin to fathom the impact on a personality like Amber’s. Opens a long potential future in her character development.
I got the feeling that Stacy changed her last name very recently. If she’d changed it years ago, Mike would have probably known that and not tried to address her as O’Malley.
So even if Stacy did tell Amber she was doing it, Amber likely hasn’t had the time to do it herself.
I wonder if it’s not a very conscious choice on Amber’s part, given how badly she thinks of herself. She continues to use ‘O’Malley’ because it’s a warning to others. I AM AN O’MALLEY. I AM POISON. I’M NOT EVEN HIDING IT.
Changing to Brannon the way her mother has might feel like a filthy trick to play on all the innocent people around her, to Amber.
Possible. OTOH, it’s pretty common, even without the abuse, for divorced women to change their names back to their original name (assuming they changed it in the first place.) It’s much rarer for children of divorced parents to change their names to match the mom’s.
Amber would be making a much stronger statement by doing so and probably face more resistance in getting it done.
This was my impression as well. Brannon is a name Stacy already had and went back to. Amber’s last name has always been O’Malley. My understanding is that there’s probably greater legal obstacles to a name change in that case.
That man really did ruin her. I honestly do applaud her mother even though she doesn’t see how hard Amber is struggling, but the fact that she is smiling, still laughing, and moving on with her life is still a great feat since that bastard of a man still continues to breathe.
This reminds me that Scarboy is probably in the hospital with Blaine and they are bonding, and he’s going to come out as the Joker to Amazigirl’s Batman.
There’s something about that “I knew you could do it” that I find… part nauseating, part infuriating. I’m not entirely sure why. Like, it’s awful in the comic, but something buried in my mind wants to *destroy* it. there’s so much frustrated anger I can’t make sense of why the feelings are so strong.
This might be an improvement, if Amzi-girl is gone and all Amber is doing right now is hallucinating, she can be medicated quite easily. (DID is far more complicated then hallucinations)
Quite a good comic this, we’ve had the outrage that Joes actions (or inactions if you like) had caused on the message board followed up by the lack of concern by Stacy (my take on it) of Joes actions probably caused by what shes seen and now we Blaine himself (yes ok hes not really there) to really hammer home what a bad guy really looks like
Just to be clear, are you implying that the point of this storyline focused on Joe and his list, including the outrage and anger of many of the women involved, is that we (and they) are overreacting and Joe’s really not so bad?
Cause, I’m pretty sure that’s not where Willis is going. “Women overreact to sexism” isn’t really a Willis trope, any more than “black people imagine racism” is.
You’re right that Joe isn’t on the same level of bad guy as Blaine, or Toedad, or Clint, or Ryan – whose absence hangs over this whole chapter. But even a lesser problem is still a problem.
Of course, Joe’s close enough to a main character, that his story arc will be a learning and growing one, not a threat to be beaten. This is just the first step in him recognizing his own problems.
No I’m not saying or implying that. I’m saying its interesting watching different peoples reactions to the same incident (much like on the message board) in that the girls on the floor mostly think Joe is a cruel, thoughtless a-hole whereas Stacy probably thinks hes a boy that apologizes and gives free donuts
She used her anger for good and because her two people are alive and well, does she need to work out her aggression? Maybe, but there was no don’t that it was worth it considering what was at stake.
Hopefully Amber can talk this out with someone so she can have peace offor mind, Joyce, Dorothy, Sal, maybe even Danny. But one thing is for sure no matter what she’s not her father.
I have a bad feeling he isn’t a hallucination. I am guessing, due to the nature of the incident, that BOTH parents were called in to a conference with the college. The concern becomes if her actions will result in her expulsion as well as….well, if he survived the incident, and his parents don’t claim that he was provoked, and the criminal charges he racked up–terrorist threats, attempted assault, attempted assault with a deadly weapon, not sure if he would get possession of a deadly weapon…scar face.
Considering how Blaine was barred from setting foot on campus the last time he was there, I think we can rule out him being called there by the university. Even if Stacy didn’t get full custody, Amber’s 18, so he has absolutely no right to be involved in any capacity unless Amber wants him to be.
I’ve been thinking on this a long time, but I’m starting to think that Amber’s issues may be closer to cognitive dissonance. The last few strips have been hitting home a lot, I’ve internallized voices like Mike a few strips back and blaine here as a way of being functional through my own dissonance.
For some people, their demons are so internalized that it isn’t a gentle hand that gets them moving. Sometimes we do need to do it out of spite, even though it hurts us. Not saying it’s a good thing mind you, or dismissing anyone else’s experiences. But spite is a powerful motivator and we’ve seen Amber act on spite a few times.
I had a similar moment. No, not knifing somebody. My father was exactly like Blaine. Whenever I got into fights or drank he’d congratulate me and say he was proud of me. Other than that, he brutalized me verbally and physically
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well hopefully that ghost means he ded 9_9 (as much as I suspect otherwise)
The ghosts of the living are more powerful than the ghosts of the dead. As a rule.
A concept with which I can attest to.
Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.
As I can attest to as well…
Warning: May contain nuts
Which I can a testes to!
He’s what Amber always wished her father would say to her. You did good kid.
More like darth vader saying “I am your father” or Something very ” Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”
She *IS* searching her feelings and she does know it to be true … and that’s what is bothering her so much. I think she was also feeling much the same after having gone into full ‘Avenging Angel’ mode on Toedad’s ass as well as in the aftermath of her beatdown of Blaine, too. This is one very troubled — and right now, very fragile — young woman.
Wouldn’t want to be her grandfather and say the wrong thing right now! If she didn’t give him the ultimate verbal takedown,vher relatives might need to start porbate on their inheritence…
“You, like your father, are now mine.”
Now, we can rule this campus as father and daughter!
And bring AmaziOrder to the Empire of Glasso.
If Blaine is the alternative, then Galasso might actually be the good guy here.
Better to have Galasso as supreme leader than Blaine, at least he’s not an abusive father.
Physically, no. Emotionally yes. But perhaps this universe’s has been kept in control by his wife?
Yea hopefully if his wife was alive that would be squashed. His abuse mostly consisted in wanting grandchildren way too much especially when Conquest was too young for that.
Hmmmn… I am assuming that if his wife is alive, then the horse thing didn’t happen, as she probably would have had a problem with that stroke of genius. Maybe not, but probably. Depends on a) how much she’s under his thumb, and b) if she’s a zoo herself and wanted Conquest to keep the family tradition alive…
jsyk: http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/pamela/
Now I’m imagining AmaziGirl in a black outfit with a full mask, acting as Galasso’s right hand/enforcer.
It’s spooky scary.
*Whistles the kill bill music*
“the (dark side of) the Force will be with you, Amber. always.”
So that bodes well.
I am wondering whether this is meant to be an artistic representation or a symptom.
Yeah, if this is an actual hallucination and not just a metaphor, then this isn’t good.
Not that it’s good anyway. It’s just even less good.
I note the absence of the red background. This doesn’t seem to be a flashback anymore; this seems to be a present-time hallucination. That’s worrying.
Probably just guilt.
I’m on Team Metaphor, she’s hearing his voice in her head and drawing him as though he’s there is just a way to express that in a visual medium.
One of Amber’s biggest fears is becoming like her father (remember what Mike said to her about her relationship with Danny). I think a part of her is second-guessing how far she went in retaliation against not-Ryan, as part of that fear. Hearing Blaine’s voice encourage this shameful side of her personality fits both his MO and her mental state. Of course he’s not feeding this to her telepathically, this is what she thinks he’d say if he was actually there. It’s another peek at her inner conflict.
Found another example of “Amber slips into Blaine mode, then catches herself”. Danny dismisses the boundary between Amber and Amazi-Girl, then she starts slipping into verbal abuse but immediately throttles back when she realizes she’s re-enacting one of countless instances of abuse between her parents, with him playing Stacy’s role.
(To be fair to Danny, I think this was when he learned that Amazi-Girl is more than just a game of dress-up to Amber.)
you proved you can protect yourself if you have to. thats how i see it.
True, but I don’t think she sees it that way…
Nooooope. She doesn’t. Not even a little bit.
Amber needs lots of hugs and lots of therapy (but not at the same time!)
Blaine is totally oblivious that Amber would plunge a knife into him if she felt justified to.
He’s probably smile at that
“Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger! With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
It is unavoidable. It is your destiny.”
I remember that scene in “Cider House Rules” where the abusive knife-fetish father of some girl is awfully proud that she has lethally wounded him in a manner securing a slow and painful death for him.
In other words: I am not sure that he’s oblivious. Strange people are strange.
Since he’s tagged, I have to assume this is the real Blaine testing out his recently gained powers of astral projection.
how about the power to depress your daughter from 500 yards away? that’s telepathy, holmes
♫ “Wonder-Blaine, what is the secret to your power?” ♫
. . . without casting a shadow.
It looks to me like he IS casting a shadow.
It looks like it’s the door’s shadow to me.
in panel two, the door’s shadow stage-right of his right leg is 8px tall, while stage-left of his leg it’s 12px tall. to me this suggests his leg is casting a shadow
sorry i got stage-right and stage-left mixed up. other way around!
I think pjeseb means casting a shadow in the more metaphorical sense
Not necessarily, there was a strip where Joyce imagined everyone around her to be Ryan, but he was still tagged.
In at least one of those strips, he was actually there. As revealed after his reappearance.
Which strip are you referring to?
It was a Patreon strip. The Ryan that was behind Joyce when she invisioned all the men around her as Ryan was actually him.
Shit….
and then another voice is all “meesa know only one truth…itsa time for Amazi-Girl to bombad end!”
Danny: “I love you”
Amber: “… Meesa know”
+1 Internet.
well hey at least he’s being complimentary? that’s not GOOD but at least it’s novel
(probably why this version is only in her head, honestly, REAL blaine would be like “well look at the mess of trouble that i now have to sort out, why couldn’t you just stay out of it”)
Well yeah. Blaine would have spun the Ryan incident in a way to make Amber feel weak and dependent on him, like he did with Sal’s failed robbery. And on some level Amber knows this.
But that doesn’t change that she’s come to associate every bad part of her with Blaine, so of course the Blaine in her head will compliment her for letting go of her restraints and doing what “he” would have done.
Not necessarily, there’s not a lot of point from a storytelling perspective for imaginary dad to be telling her his approval unless his approval is something she’s wanted.
This is clearly a case of “Your approval fills me with shame.”
Blaine doesn’t really seem to be all that manipulative, he’s more straight-up violent. You’re mixing him up with Ruth’s guardian, who is a different guy with a different bad parenting deal.
Um, he manipulated Danny so he could use him as a hostage. He is totally for some manipulation, he just doesn’t use it as extensively as Ruth’s grandfather.
It’s a clear parallel to what he said after the robbery when he goaded her into stabbing Sal. Wonder what he said afterwards?
Definitely “your approval fills me with shame”, but such is the wonder of abusive parenting, it’s also something she’s longed for throughout her childhood. Just another bit of evidence (to her) that she’s becoming what she fears – a monster like him.
Aw, jeez…
I hope she can realize that this is a completely different situation and she was violent for a GOOD reason.
): Poor Amber
“Your journey to the Dark Side is now complete.”
The O’Malley is a family of assassins? My suspension of disbelief on the existence of someone like Blaine is a little shaky now.
descended from an ancient house of Irish ninjas
Their sworn enemies are Welsh samurai.
Dr McNinja is her cousin, they see each other sometimes at family events. He gave her some good advice about her college application.
so buckets of blood guy is dark smoke puncher then?
<333
Joking aside, yeah. People like Blaine exist. He’s a little more dramatic than most RL counterparts would be but this IS a comic. (I was going to include other examples of things being dramatic but changed my mind.)
Insert Assassins Creed joke here.
Indeed. The only thing that makes Blaine different from many real life abusers is that he lunged at a young woman (Ruth) in front of witnesses and even that’s not something completely unheard of. Most physically abusive people who get away with it do so in part because they never do it in front of anyone who will talk.
This is true, he likely wouldn’t have done so if he wasn’t actively chasing Amber. When he was no longer in pursuit of Amber, he did not say, attack Billie who chased him down, he was calm again.
There are abusers that will be violent and aggressive in front of witnesses but generally abusers try to be more controlled than that as they don’t want legal repercussions and the like.
Ruth’s grandfather is an example of someone who is confident enough in their abuse that they will frequently and regularly do it right in front of others, but still keep the loudest parts hidden away from people in actual authority i.e. he didn’t give a damn that Billie saw it or heard it but like hell was he going to shout at Ruth in front of the R.M..
Honestly?
I could almost hear my dad talking like that, though he never beat anyone in my family (other issues like sexism irregardless). He’d be just a little less blood thirsty. Slightly.
Also thankfully, the finally bit wouldnt happen. Again he’s less abusive by a LOT. Sane? meh. Abusive, no.
feck off, blaine, the only thing you proved is everybody wants you to die because you’re a selfish, violent ass.
+1
I can relate.
Not, like, to stabbing people, granted it, but seeing some of your parent in actions and not being happy about it.
Oh good! Now she’s hallucinating!
It’s the O’Malley touch. Like King Midas except everything they touch turns to blood
That makes the ending to that story even more horrifying/darkly hilarious.
“My daughter is a puddle of B-negative blood. REALLY, UNIVERSE?”
I always liked the Infocom version where everything he touched turned into a 45° angle
I wish she would have put the knife where it really belongs – right in her father’s skull.
Never thought I’d say this but, Worst Ghost Dad Ever.
Does that include the Cosby movie?
No, but it does include Ghost House.
I actually agree with imaginary Blaine in panel 3, but he and his non-imaginary counterpart can go fuck themselves >:[
All the people who were like ‘why is Amber afraid when she’s the baddest and hardest to mess with person in the building?’
This.
This is why.
For those with shitty awful parents, it can be awful to be strong. Because it can feel like the poison of your abusive parent working through you. One of the reasons I’ll do strength exercise, but never self-defense classes. Too much risk of triggering or fulfilling fears.
I avoided self-defence classes for that reason for a long time. And then I did wendo (which does a lot about perception, holding your space, being attentive and actually getting used to having options than mere bodily training and techniques). There, on bad days, I could ask the others to train slow-motion with me, because I was in a bad place and might be triggered easily.
And it was glorious to have a training partner who wasn’t afraid of me and my strength even though she was practically half my size.
I get you there.
I found self defense/martial arts very therapeutic for me, in that it taught me that I am in control of what I do with my body. Others’ mileage may vary, but yeah for me martial arts was key in reclaiming my physical agency.
OTOH I get suuuper anxious if we have an exercise involving punching something next to someone because my father liked to hit the wall next to my face so yeah I can see where you are coming from if it all felt like that I don’t think I could do it either.
That was NOT supposed to be a reply to you I am sorry
Still kinda works as one though
And now she’s seeing her shit hole father. That’s not good.
F*ck.
My dad was like this when I was in middle school. I knocked a kid to the ground and when I got suspended for it, he was disappointed I didn’t leap on him and beat him bloody.
My dad’s an asshole.
I forget, did Stacy change her last name back to her maiden name (whatever it is), or is she still under O’Malley?
She told Mike she’s back to her maiden name a few strips back.
She’s back to Brannon:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/04-the-do-list/omalley/
Good call.
might be nice for amber to do the same.
Amber doesn’t have a maiden name, tho. She’d be changing her name, not changing it back. I know, seems like a petty distinction, but it can be a lot harder, for some people.
Avenge me Harry!
Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy and we shall have peace
*plays Bruce Springsteen’s “One Step Up (And Two Steps Back)” on the hacked Muzak*
This will definitely help things.
Ooooooooooh fuck. Is she really hallucinating?
I’m really hoping that we’re just seeing what she’s imagining, and that Blaine is has only metaphorically taken up residence inside her head
This is how I read it. If it’s actual full blown hallucinations we’ll probably see more to peg that down later.
That would really suck if she was developing schizophrenia like symptoms (I know there’s a formal term for any type of hallucination, but I don’t remember what it is) on top of the dissociative stuff.
Psychosis.
No. BOOO!
Also, I’m pretty confident in thinking that Blaine has never told Amber “I knew you could do it”. Amber, your dad is too shitty to even praise you for this! Which is…good?????
Also, now I do have to feel bad her mom left her for donuts. 🙁
Oh geez, this really creeped me out. More than the bright red panels of doom.
me too.
Typical, I spent ages reading through yesterday’s comments and replying to some just in time for the new strip to post!
You win this round, Time…
You know, the last couple of strips I was thinking, “C’mon Stacy, Amber needs time at the doorway where it happened to process heavy stuff, give her space, don’t keep interrupting that.”
…..
INTERRUPT IT! INTERRUPT IT! BURY IT IN DONUTS AND TRIVIALITIES!
IN WITH IT!
SHOVE IT RIGHT BACK IN!
Strike me down with all of your hatred & your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
Comic Reactions:
Welp… fuck…
There’s so much badness here, the fixated self-abuse staring at the door, unable to move, just beating herself up over the event, twisting the narrative to view herself as unsympathetic as possible, having a persona of her father approving of her actions. This is brutal to see.
And especially as she likely has some form of dissociative disorder, this being a potential new alter is a possibility and one that does not pose good things for her mental health as alters like this can be brutal and hard to figure out what to do with.
I’ve got one I’ve just gotten to calling Pit who has just absorbed all the hateful messaging that gets thrown at folks like me and vomits at me whenever I’m down or tired. And they can get downright abusive in their tactics, playing on my fears and insecurities. They are clearly in pain and lashing out but I haven’t figured out a way to reach them yet.
And this, at best, reminds me of that, of something in her emulating those deeper fears, making them feel real, present, unavoidable, shutting the gate on her hopes of being a good person. And I worry a lot for the Amber alter. She’s already been terrified of being a monster, of being something the AG alter has to guard against and contain and now she’s got this praising the exact qualities of Amber she is terrified of.
And at worse, it could be a sign of additional illnesses or disorders cropping up in her garden of PTSD, which is hard enough for her to deal with especially as it doesn’t seem anyone has taken her to get any real mental health care yet (or maybe Amber’s mom did and just didn’t mention it).
But yeah, this is why Mike’s “pep talk” was actually awful for her. Because she’s terrified of being the violent badass, the person everyone is afraid to mess with. The violent asshole everyone is afraid of is her dad. Is what she fears is corrupting her veins. She never wants to be the violent one again.
And she gives herself no quarter for the terrifying position she was in. For being in a situation where defending herself was a necessity to avoid being incredibly physically harmed as well as letting others be harmed. What she did was necessarily heroic, but at the terrible cost of a lot of her mental health.
And it breaks my damn heart.
this being a potential new alter
I had not thought of this.
🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
Please just be symbolism, just be symbolism!
Or just playing out in her thoughts. Do scenarios not run in your mind? It’s a visual representation of the fact that she’s become what her father wanted her to be.
Do scenarios not run in your mind?
I was responding to an idea in Cerberus’ comment above.
It was occurring to me that somewhere inside her, there was a part of Amber who still craved just this sort of approval and acceptance from her father. Craved it, and never got it.
It’s merged with what you just said about a new alter.
Now I’m thinking of an Amber-alter… let’s call her Daddy’s Girl… who is everything he’s ever told her to be. Strong, self-reliant, takes no shit from anyone. Not outright evil, oh no, of course not! But someone who stands up for herself and makes sure everyone knows that she’s on top of the pecking order, who always gives better than she gets, doesn’t give any backtalk, and does what’s necessary to win.
…..
….. okay, my sympathy for Amber is warring with my love of drama, here.
Mike doesn’t much recognize the kind of power which conflates with “respect”, does he?
I get it, that sometimes he’s a “necessary truth-teller”.
But often there’s more to it than that; Sarah once told Joyce that continuing to “date” Ethan would lose her friends, especially Dorothy. This is Sarah at her best, her “not doing it for the joy” demeanor, prefaced with the truthful “I don’t butt into other folks’ business, however…” and she doesn’t take pleasure in shit-stirring the way Mike seems to all too often.
“They are clearly in pain and lashing out but I haven’t figured out a way to reach them yet.”
same. *hugs* there’s so, so much pain, and I feel like I’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg.
kinda makes me think of Kurama, and how Naruto said he’d do something about the hatred in him someday 🙂
I’m gonna say what I’ve always said.
I relate to this. Even if logically you know genetics don’t work that way and that abusive tendencies don’t run in your family…that mindset doesn’t go away once it’s there. It just doesn’t. I’m able to logically convince myself that I’m not my dad and even I STILL feel like if I don’t control my emotions I’ll snap.
I don’t think I’d mind stabbing a rapist. I’m pretty defensive and morally have no real issue with violence when necessary…but if I attacked someone (even if they deserved it) in a state of total loss of control/blackout then I’d still be scared. I’d still be worried about what it said about me. Even knowing logically that it doesn’t have to mean shit…this mindset takes forever to get rid of. I’m still working on it.
I hope this comic shows her handling it eventually down the road. Because maybe that will help people like me.
This seems might like it might be a good reason to retire the Mask for a while
A propensity to violence *can* be genetic in certain cases, but propensity isn’t destiny. On the other hand exposure to violence beats violence. We carry our parents around inside us.
Also, Amber needs the mask in order to provide a safe outlet for her violent tendencies. Safe because they are expressed and curtailed by a strict comic-book moral code. Easy to criticize, but Amber makes it work.
Not a safe outlet. She almost died multiple times, because she had something to prove.
Shes Taken out Blaine; Sal, her original nemesis, reformed.
She caught the rapist Amazigirl let escape, and…
what Blaine said… She didnt freeze, she didnt use a defensse mechanism,
She disarmed and took out a Slasher in a action.
Amazigirl also exists to overcome crippling social anxiety.
She has conquered her biggest fears in real life as herself, not amazigirl.
She needs to take a break and absorb these things and integrate these new facts.
I know it’s Amber’s version of her father, but real him probably would be against this particular stabbing
I see your point. Last time, it was about stabbing a black girl ; this time, it was a white man.
Is Blaine an asshole who will automatically stand for the most privileged, or a true whateverpath who wants only his kin to win at life ?
(Or, you know, a terrible parent who will be disappointed in you whatever you do. “Okay you stabbed a dude. Like I told you. Well. Hum. You could have stabbed him more gracefully. Not very ladylike of you !”)
The second.
How long will it take for Amber to ask her mom to change her last name to Brannon too?
She probably doesn’t need her mom’s permission at this point, right? They’re all 18.
It’s an epic pain in the ass and it tends to gum up the works anytime you really have to prove your identity, but it’s worth it in this case.
I probably should have said “if she can” rather than “to”. Obviously the answer would be yes, it just feels like the type of thing you’d ask before doing even if you know you can. To me anyway.
Ah, OK. That makes sense.
Or she could pick her own last name! She could be Amber Fitzstacy and when people ask her about it she could say “Because I have no father” and they could go “Okay, but you know that means ‘Son of’ right?” and she can you “…Yes, but all the ‘Daughter of’ prefixes sound weird with ‘Stacey'”
Alternate response: “the better to confound my enemies”
Stachzdottr, perhaps?
Anything but Amber Amber.
She is more of a Ruby really.
Nah, Dorothy is more like Ruby than Amber is.
Amber Stacysdottir sounds normative enough to me.
I think that’s how Icelandic convention would have it, and “I’m picking this after my one good parent” is built right in.
How about the Gaelic “Nic-” meaning “daughter of”? Then it could be NicStéise, or maybe NicAnnstas if you want to use the older equivalent of “Anastasia” for “Stacy.”
So basically he’s Flame Hero: Endeavor from BNHA
Her dad probably WOULD say this. Her dad would probably be proud of her. After all, her dad IS the one who made her learn how to fight.
The voice thay has been pushing her all this time is the one who said to her so many years ago, “Don’t you want to be different? Don’t you WANT to be different?!”
Well, she has finally proven she has become different – in the way he meant. On some level, it might even feel good.
And THAT…is likely an ugly thought to her.
Or he would be disappointed again for another arbitrary reason like ‘You only stabbed him a little! What kind of a failure doesn’t know how to stab!’ because he is an asshole and an abuser and would do anything to destroy her confidence in herself to have control over her.
Re: panel 3.
Paging Dr. Freud…
Am I alone in considering the possibility that the entire chapter so far has only existed in Amber’s mind? The first panel of her outside the doors has her alone, sans Stacy. Then inside, with Stacy. Then outside, with Blaine.
Blaine’s appearance seems to be accepted here by readers as imaginary; I don’t see why Stacy’s is necessarily otherwise. And the characters have, since the chapter beginning, seemed a bit “off” according to some of the comments. Maybe they’re acting the way Amber thinks they might, and she’s in a rubber room in a straitjacket.
(She DOES know about Joe’s “Do list” BTW. )http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/journalism/
I wanna say that seems a bit too much but Stacey did spontaniously disappear for a panel two strips ago, and the Matt Smith coat swap from Doctor Who series 5 has made me endlessly paranoid about the possibility of visual continuity errors being deliberate.
I considered it, Heather, and then decided that the only reason we couldn’t see Stacy was that Dana was blocking our view. Fueled by a donut sugar high, she was in stealth mode checking to see if any dinosaurs had wondered onto campus.
I think it was more that Amber walked up first, storming away from Mike, then stood there frozen, unable to enter until Stacy caught up.
Doesn’t really make sense as imaginary – particularly with a couple strips of Stacy interacting with Joe. Amber knows about Joe’s list, but she likely wouldn’t know about it being revealed or about Joe being pushed towards some sort of apology or about Danny’s “good egg” persona or about her mom & Richard.
The Dumbiverse and all the universes it crosses paths with only exist in the mind of an autistic Amber staring into a snow globe.
That’s not how autism works. We don’t just generate entire universes by looking at snow globes.
yeah… although as a kid I did imagine an alternate universe in the bathroom tiles. but it was populated with geometry, not humans.
this was before I started bringing books into the bathroom, of course.
Fire that man right out of your head canon!
Oh hell, please don’t let Amber’s father be a persecutor alter.
Honestly the douche bag has a pretty good point there in panel 3.
…You know, I’m really curious about Blaine’s backstory.
Well you see, once there was a truck stop restroom next to a shady sea food restaurant in Iowa, where one of the toilets in the men’s room was never flushed. After fifty years of this, the truck stop was struck by lightning and caught fire, and out of the reeking smoke and the flames emerged a figure that was almost that of a man…
No No, the truth is that over those fifty years the shit created it’s own vicious, murderous civilization and once a single shit-being managed to beat the rest into submission he ordered a grand project to begin. Creating a humanoid robot he could use to go out into the world and spread it’s shittiness to it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one wondering how he got to the point where knife violence is just something that personal interactions naturally progress to. Or just violence, I guess.
Mind you he’s definitely a shitty person and I’m not saying the “why” of it excuses any of his toxicity. Knowing why a thing is a thing doesn’t make it any less of a thing or require you to have anything to do with aforementioned thing.
Him existing and being that much of a violent, abusive prick isn’t actually that unusual or in need of explanation, unfortunately.
The only really unusual bit is him managing to hold down a job capable of putting a kid through college while maintaining that level of asshole, while plenty of people like that exist it doesn’t generally serve them very well in the other parts of their life that require interacting with others and dealing reasonably with status differentials, like employment.
The thing about abusers is, apart from with their victims, they are able to treat everyone else around them perfectly normally – they are not INCAPABLE of respect for others. An abuser differs from the run of the mill asshole in this way – they are able to blend into society with everyone except around their victims who they don’t respect at all.
This is why it is so hard for victims to be believed about abuse – their abusers can hold respectful jobs e.g. teacher, doctor, nurse, firefighter, lawyer, surgeon and be very good at them, and they may volunteer, and they may be a pillar of their community. They may be shy and quiet and really funny or they may be loud and goofy and or they may be stoic but a hardworker – they may seem like the sweetest person in the world to everyone else. But they aren’t to their victims.
Maybe he’s a cop.
Okay, ick.
I mean, it’s a good story, but it’s icky.
I wouldn’t mind if we got back to the happy lesbian stories. But perhaps nothing but Dina/Becky stories would be boring to other folks, including the author. 🙂
That’s heckin rough. 🙁
…Still, I hope that maybe this is the push she needs to get into therapy and get better?
I JUST NOTICED BLAINE HAS SHADOWS CAST ON HIM.
Why does he have shadows cast on him if he isn’t real? It’s creepy and I don’t like it.
…I guess a real hallucination would appear to interact with real world light (I don’t know, I never looked at mine long enough to tell) but video games have spent years telling me that things that aren’t real don’t have shadows or have shadows cast on them.
But that means all your subconscious has to do to convince you your hallucinations are really there is for them to appear to interact with light.
It’s how we usually see things so imagining them like that is probably easier than imagining them without shadows etc…
It’s a visual representation of what’s going on in Amber’s mind as she stands there quitely. In the first panel, shadows are cast on Blaine but he casts no shadow himself, unlike Amber . But since this is just to let us see what Amber is thinking, it’s kind of arbitrary.
Well I don’t know that that’s *all* they’d have to do. But, again, never looked at them long enough to appreciate anything beyond the fact that what I was looking at couldn’t be real.
It is unavoidable.
It is your destiny.
You, like your mother, are now mine.
FUDGE YOU BLAINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE HUG AMBER, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL HUGS ON DECK!!!
Must be cool having the Flash as your father.
One millisecond he isn’t there, then another millisecond later he is there giving you advice. And then a millisecond after the last word leaves his mouth, he is gone again.
Thanks Pops.
Wipe that smirk off that face, Blaine.
Of course, that’s Amber’s greatest fear, isn’t it? That in becoming strong she is effectively becoming her father. That’s irrational but it’s a very real and very powerful fear for her and you can’t just wave it (and the effect it has on her) away simply because it is not true.
That’s another big problem for someone in Amber’s position? Those fears? The spectres of those who tormented you? They never really go away; you just learn to ignore them and not let them impact on your life nine times out of ten. Of course, it’s that one time out of ten that reall, really sucks.
She mostly can’t wave it away because it _is_ true. She quite literally roams the streets looking for someone to assault in her spare time, she’s pretty much turned into him already with the only difference being that she hasn’t dropped the last thin layer of rationalization yet.
When you’re already applying the cycle of violence to other people in actual physical terms it’s no longer an _unfounded_ worry, more the acknowledgement of an uncomfortable fact. She needs to start dealing with her abusiveness as an actual problem that’s already well-established in her behavior instead of pretending it’s a vague potential that may or may not come about, or it’ll get way the hell worse before it gets better.
NO! She hasn’t!
Having anger problems and being prone to violence are not the same as being actually abusive, controlling, manipulative and tricking someone into a hostage situation the way Blaine did.
She is not her father for struggling with her anger issues combined with PTSD, DID and endless self-loathing that are all untreated, particularly when she tries to redirect her anger only at people who deserve it and then punishes herself for ever doing anything wrong ever like almost insulting someone and is punishing herself now for defending herself against someone that otherwise could have killed her, Dorothy and Joyce.
This, 100%.
Blaine is a fuck-ton worse than just someone who has difficulty with anger management and goes looking for fights, even if it were fair to Amber to boil her down to such a description. Which it isn’t, because it’s been very clearly shown that she’s is a far, far better person than Blaine.
ive seen some piles of shit, but damn if blaine o’ malley aint one of the biggest piles.
He needs to not
Amber you really need some therapy or counselling or SOMETHING because goddamn thats a shitty thing to be hallucinating
Noooo, Amber, don’t listen to the fucker!
Art choices aside, it’s also entirely possible she’s just hearing Blaine and not seeing him. The big difference being tons of us hear our parents on a regular basis when they’re not there; it’s part of having an overbearing parent for most of your life.
That said, this is definitely echoing back to what happened with Sal. Before she got upset and stabbed Sal in the hand, Blaine had been berating her for not taking the knife from Sal and protecting her friend with it. Here, she took the knife from Druggo McStabbed and protected her friend with it. She came full circle and did what Blaine claimed he “wanted” her to do.
The problem at this point is whether or not she can use this as a turning point to heal, or if this sends her into a spiral of anxiety that she has become her dad despite her best efforts.
Oh, Amber, honey, don’t hang out next to that door. Go have a donut. It will be awkward but your friends are there…
Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force, Amber!
Oh Amber, Blaine would never say that. He’d be criticizing your form.
I like Blaine… 😀
Why?
I think they’re trying to get yelled at.
That or they’re new here.
Or both.
I have been here since the first strip thanks…
I just like agressive, self-centered, A-hole characters. so he’s fun! ^^
I’ve liked some messed up characters myself, but… Blaine, ugh.
How?
“Now… Strike down your father, and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete!”
Her mom subscribes to toxic masculinity* and her dad is Blaine. Poor Amber.
*depending on your reading of the last comic (controversial)
She’s going full Franco! Ignore the ghost dad! Don’t become the goblin!
Killing is incredibly traumatic for the mentally / emotionally stable. I can hardly begin to fathom the impact on a personality like Amber’s. Opens a long potential future in her character development.
She didn’t -kill- Ryan, but your point stands.
We don’t know that she didn’t kill Ryan.
… so why DID Amber keep her father’s name? Especially if her mom had the thought to change back and followed through.
maybe she was too young?
I got the feeling that Stacy changed her last name very recently. If she’d changed it years ago, Mike would have probably known that and not tried to address her as O’Malley.
So even if Stacy did tell Amber she was doing it, Amber likely hasn’t had the time to do it herself.
I wonder if it’s not a very conscious choice on Amber’s part, given how badly she thinks of herself. She continues to use ‘O’Malley’ because it’s a warning to others. I AM AN O’MALLEY. I AM POISON. I’M NOT EVEN HIDING IT.
Changing to Brannon the way her mother has might feel like a filthy trick to play on all the innocent people around her, to Amber.
aw fuck, that makes sense 🙁
hell, my own screen name is a reminder to myself that “helping” isn’t always actually helpful…
To add to that, sometimes the best way to help is to do nothing.
Possible. OTOH, it’s pretty common, even without the abuse, for divorced women to change their names back to their original name (assuming they changed it in the first place.) It’s much rarer for children of divorced parents to change their names to match the mom’s.
Amber would be making a much stronger statement by doing so and probably face more resistance in getting it done.
This was my impression as well. Brannon is a name Stacy already had and went back to. Amber’s last name has always been O’Malley. My understanding is that there’s probably greater legal obstacles to a name change in that case.
Right premise, wrong conclusion. Knife went in a perfectly reasonable place for it to go.
It was just some punk with a knife after all….right?
That man really did ruin her. I honestly do applaud her mother even though she doesn’t see how hard Amber is struggling, but the fact that she is smiling, still laughing, and moving on with her life is still a great feat since that bastard of a man still continues to breathe.
“You are now ready to open a cliched suburban Irish pub.”
She’s thinking, I’ll become either Captain Stabby, or maybe The Porcupine.
This reminds me that Scarboy is probably in the hospital with Blaine and they are bonding, and he’s going to come out as the Joker to Amazigirl’s Batman.
There’s something about that “I knew you could do it” that I find… part nauseating, part infuriating. I’m not entirely sure why. Like, it’s awful in the comic, but something buried in my mind wants to *destroy* it. there’s so much frustrated anger I can’t make sense of why the feelings are so strong.
Is anyone else reminded of Flowey in that second panel?
Just me?
Okay.
I knew you had it in you
Oh no.
This might be an improvement, if Amzi-girl is gone and all Amber is doing right now is hallucinating, she can be medicated quite easily. (DID is far more complicated then hallucinations)
“be medicated” is… not a great way of phrasing that. like, it should be something she chooses for her own health, not something done to her by others.
Quite a good comic this, we’ve had the outrage that Joes actions (or inactions if you like) had caused on the message board followed up by the lack of concern by Stacy (my take on it) of Joes actions probably caused by what shes seen and now we Blaine himself (yes ok hes not really there) to really hammer home what a bad guy really looks like
and that last panel is a real cliff hanger
Just to be clear, are you implying that the point of this storyline focused on Joe and his list, including the outrage and anger of many of the women involved, is that we (and they) are overreacting and Joe’s really not so bad?
Cause, I’m pretty sure that’s not where Willis is going. “Women overreact to sexism” isn’t really a Willis trope, any more than “black people imagine racism” is.
You’re right that Joe isn’t on the same level of bad guy as Blaine, or Toedad, or Clint, or Ryan – whose absence hangs over this whole chapter. But even a lesser problem is still a problem.
Of course, Joe’s close enough to a main character, that his story arc will be a learning and growing one, not a threat to be beaten. This is just the first step in him recognizing his own problems.
No I’m not saying or implying that. I’m saying its interesting watching different peoples reactions to the same incident (much like on the message board) in that the girls on the floor mostly think Joe is a cruel, thoughtless a-hole whereas Stacy probably thinks hes a boy that apologizes and gives free donuts
She used her anger for good and because her two people are alive and well, does she need to work out her aggression? Maybe, but there was no don’t that it was worth it considering what was at stake.
Hopefully Amber can talk this out with someone so she can have peace offor mind, Joyce, Dorothy, Sal, maybe even Danny. But one thing is for sure no matter what she’s not her father.
I have a bad feeling he isn’t a hallucination. I am guessing, due to the nature of the incident, that BOTH parents were called in to a conference with the college. The concern becomes if her actions will result in her expulsion as well as….well, if he survived the incident, and his parents don’t claim that he was provoked, and the criminal charges he racked up–terrorist threats, attempted assault, attempted assault with a deadly weapon, not sure if he would get possession of a deadly weapon…scar face.
Considering how Blaine was barred from setting foot on campus the last time he was there, I think we can rule out him being called there by the university. Even if Stacy didn’t get full custody, Amber’s 18, so he has absolutely no right to be involved in any capacity unless Amber wants him to be.
I’ve been thinking on this a long time, but I’m starting to think that Amber’s issues may be closer to cognitive dissonance. The last few strips have been hitting home a lot, I’ve internallized voices like Mike a few strips back and blaine here as a way of being functional through my own dissonance.
For some people, their demons are so internalized that it isn’t a gentle hand that gets them moving. Sometimes we do need to do it out of spite, even though it hurts us. Not saying it’s a good thing mind you, or dismissing anyone else’s experiences. But spite is a powerful motivator and we’ve seen Amber act on spite a few times.
fuck you blaine
and if you’re a ghost or whatever: fuck you ghost blaine
Before I started reading the DOA comments I thought I was a pessimist. Now I have a better idea of what a real pessimist is like.
Well he’s not wrong
It is a challenge to not want to ‘do unto others’ when it comes to him, huh? Anyone accepting?
I had a similar moment. No, not knifing somebody. My father was exactly like Blaine. Whenever I got into fights or drank he’d congratulate me and say he was proud of me. Other than that, he brutalized me verbally and physically
“Am I Luke?? Or am I Kylo Ren???”