I can’t believe I managed to get first Comment! You people are so slow these days…. (This comes from a person that’s been stalking this webcomic series for a year now and didnt want to post till I got first comment)
That doesn’t sound assuring with Amazing Girl smirking at me. Especially with the current events that occured with Amber. If this post doesn’t get erased, I’ll come back here and remember the shameful act that happened and bare the guilt with it in the future.
That may well, just be the best Highway to Heaven joke ever Mr. Willis. Also, that would have been a significantly better plot than the show ever actually had.
I could have sworn there was someone that kept first posting and everyone was trying to pass him. like 6 months ago or something. Eh, Bare wtih it for today. It shall not happen again. I promise! *crosses fingers*
I don’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand, I now desperately want to find this but on the other hand there’s the inner fan wondering how sex with a Nazgul actually works.
While not that extreme, Tolkien’s dwarven women do indeed have beards, are very similar in build to dwarven men, make up only about one third of the dwarven population, and many chose to not get married or have children. It’s part of why dwarven lines of succession get strange at times, because when dwarven women do have children, maternal uncles tend to view them as heirs to their bloodline. Because of all of this, most humans and elves in Middle Earth don’t know how dwarves reproduce and some humans (most humans actually) think that dwarves just pop out of the ground.
Ok now I have a headcanon that actually biological sex ratio in dwarves is just as 50/50 as ours are, but because dwarves are not sexually dismorphic (ie, males and females look the same) and don’t really have gendered behaviour, when other races tried to figure out which ones were each gender they failed completely, and ended up guessing that the females were the ones wearing mre “femme” adornments, which by chance was something like 1/3 of the population. Dwarves don’t really ask each other what their parts are, so they kinda accepted that number and started using mostly male pronouns when speaking Common because that worked better when dealing with humans. But are they male? Are they???
TL;DR: headcannon that Dwarve culture doesn’t have gender (there are no cis dwarves!!) and that they only seem to be gendered in the stories because the stories were written by humans and hobbits.
@davidbreslin101 – Other than his very introduction: “There was a younger dwarf at Gloin’s side: his son Gimli.”
I mean you can take Oz’s theory and run with unreliable narration to the point that even the appendices are confused, but it seems a bit extreme to me.
Um, excuse me. Aragorn/Arwen, Eowyn/Faramir, Samwise/Frodo. Those boys don’t even need to have been gay, if you didn’t read it that way, but their love is the purest ever put to paper.
Reltzik: His humbleness is what makes his achievements great. If Sam thought more of himself than “I’m just a humble gardener, looking after Master Frodo”, he wouldn’t be nearly as amazing.
foamy: And if he hadn’t, Frodo would have been fucked.
If Sam hadn’t been caught spying, Gandalf wouldn’t have thought to send him along. That also means Merry and Pippin probably don’t join up, since Frodo would probably have taken a different route or waited for Gandalf. Either way, no other hobbits means Frodo’s left alone when the Ringwraiths come sniffin’, he likely doesn’t meet Tom Bombadil, and if he winds up in the Barrows, he’s toast. Hell, even if he waits for Gandalf, Gollum gives him up anyway, so he’s likely to be caught with his pants down when the Ringwraiths show up, before he’s even gone out the door.
So, without Sam, Frodo’s either left to walk on his own and gets kidnapped by the Slender Man/Ringwraiths, or he’s stuck waiting for Gandalf to get back, with the same result.
Samwise Gamgee is the absolute best! And he does simply walk into Mordor, so take that Boromir! Plus, in a lesbian LotR all you would have to do is rename the character Samantha “Sam” Gamgee, and almost all the dialogue directed at Sam doesn’t even have to change!
It was the Nostalgia Chick, Lindsey Ellis, and yes, that is, as she said, not even sub-text (in the movies at least, and I could make a case for the book as well); that is text.
Legolas and Gimli. Legolas takes Gimli with him too Aman/”the Undying Lands”, and Gimli convinces Legolas to go cave exploring with him, and Legolas convinces Gimli to go on nature walks through Fangorn. The appendices at the very least imply that they were either the ideal of platonic love between friends or gay. Also, Eomer and Imrahil’s sister. Beren and Luthien get referenced…and now I want a lesbian version of “The Lay of Beren and Luthien” in movie format. Hmmm. Treebeard and Saruman were once really good friends, maybe upgrade that.
Taffy: Gamgee was detailed to spy on Frodo in advance of Gandalf deciding to send him. Merry and Pippin we resolved on joining Frodo regardless as well; had Gandalf not caught Gamgee, they all would’ve joined him at the same time, at Frodo’s decoy house in Crickhollow.
I dunno, that second one practically invites an all-lesbian cast. “There’s no strength left in the world of men. (Though, honestly, was there ever?) They’re scattered, divided, leaderless. We, however, will be quite fine.”
oh god there’s a highway to heaven tag, this might be the first for an inanimate object. It’s going to be referenced again, right? If it’s important enough to be tagged…XD
Nah, there have been tags for shows before. Twilight, Persepolis, Kung Fu Panda, The Hangover… some of which are one-off refs. Dexter and Monkey Master and Ultra Car have tags, too, as does Hank the Giraffe (not to be confused with Hank Brown).
A film titled A Serbian Film, which also happens to be a Serbian film. It is a horror movie about a snuff film that gets all of the trigger warnings including but not limited to CSA.
Look at it this way, whenever some sick bastard comes up with the idea to make some twisted garbage, no matter what it is, people can point to A Serbian Film and say “It’s been done, come up with something else”.
Then there is Salo. There is an entry for it in Wikipedia, just to get the basics.
I love film, and there have been many directors who have pushed boundaries to expand the range of art. But I am not enough of an auteur to be able to see Salo as anything but exploitative and sickening.
See, now I’m trying to think of any age-appropriate non-Robin girlfriend for Leslie, but it seems like everyone’s either a student, a student’s younger sibling, married, not into women, or multiple of the above. Or Robin, who’s out of the running by default.
Daisy was my thought. Becky knows both Billie and Dorothy, both of whom know Daisy. That’s a short and redundant information chain, so it’s easily plausible.
I thought so too a few months ago, because she seemed like she was in a staff advisor position, but then people brought up she might be a student and I got off-put. Apparently, yes, IDS does use students for its editorial positions, so Daisy is a no-go.
To elaborate on that – it’s really not better because Leslie is still a staff member at the school Daisy goes too. If Leslie sees Daisy causing trouble, she has the authority to write her up, report it to her boss, whatever. Schools don’t tend to take kindly to authority dating subordinates because they get to discipline or favour as they see fit and dating kinda kills the objectivity.
Plus I’m like 99% sure it’s against Indiana University’s rules for teachers – no fucking students.
We don’t know for SURE that Amber’s mom is straight? She’s the only single adult woman I can think of offhand
Then again, Walkyverse Leslie wasn’t aesthetically interested in Amber and the resemblance between her and her mom is pretty strong, so maybe that wouldn’t work out
WAIT. Alex! Alex is a woman who isn’t in a relationship and may well be into other women! …buuuuut I’m assuming Willis isn’t going to ship direct ports of his friends with his fictional characters
tangential, but do we know how old Leslie is? we know she’s An Adult and old enough to have a professor job so she’s certainly(?) into her 30s at least, but do we have a better estimate than that?
is she in the Older Than The Cast bracket or the Old Enough To Be Their Mom bracket, basically
Not much I can say for thiz strip so I’ll say I dig Ruth’s haircut in the preview image. Let’s hope it’s not the result of something horrible happening.
fuck co-morbidity. it really does seem like I have a little bit of fucking everything.
the more I read about OCPD, the more it seems to fit. :/ I’m not sure what to *do* with that information, though. seems like I’m already doing everything that can be done.
Yeah, brains are weird.
At least from what I’ve read on here, I relate a lot to somebody of the stuff you talk about. (And therefore I am trying to reach out in some way, in case that is unclear.)
^^ That sounds kinda like my “balancing on a knife edge in a hurricane” trick. fuck. that shit’s hard enough with physical pain, I don’t wanna go through that with the emotional pain… I don’t even know how much of it there is… :/
can’t I just wave a magic wand and make the pain go away? 😛
Also, rule out First Year Psych Syndrome — that is, when you encounter a really relatable disorder and self-diagnose with it. I mean, you totally might have it! but you might not, too.
This is not to gaslight you or to imply that I distrust your self-judgment in any way. It’s just a thing that happens frequently (especially with diagnoses that are mainly exaggerations of typical behaviours) so it’s good to watch for it and get input from somebody who works with many people, to see whether the diagnosis is helpful and accurate to your experiences.
If you do indeed decide that this diagnosis helpfully describes your experience, then the main point of having the diagnosis will be that other people have had similar experiences, and stuff that helps them might also help you, so you can learn some sweet tips from each other.
Yeah, self-diagnosis should really be used as a patch until you can see a doctor (if used at all) to put words to what you think you might have. Even if you’re wrong, “I’m concerned I might have Disorder X” is a good starting point. Most pros will have diagnostic tests that can ascertain whether your behaviour falls into a normal, abnormal, maladaptive, or a disordered range and they can point you in the right direction.
Completely and utterly unrelated in every sense. (This is because I find it funny)
“The best argument against military spending is this. Every dollar spent on the military is a dollar not spent on genetically engineering domesticated cat girls”
Okay, this is probably gonna be all “humorless feminist” of me but I feel like I’m in good company here, so. The concept of “domesticated [anything] girls” is gross and dehumanizing as hell, and not really funny.
‘What’s the problem Earthman?’ said Zaphod, now transfering his
attention to the animal’s furry thighs.
‘I just don’t want f**k an animal that’s standing there
inviting me to,’ said Arthur, ‘It’s heartless.’
‘Better than f**king an animal that doesn’t want to be
f**ked,’ said Zaphod.
‘That’s not the point,’ Arthur protested. Then he thought about it
for a moment. ‘Alright,’ he said, ‘maybe it is the point. I don’t
care, I’m not going to think about it now. I’ll just … er … I
think I’ll just abstain,’ he muttered.
‘Abstinence?’ said the catgirl, rolling her eyes disapprovingly
at Arthur.
‘Are you going to tell me,’ said Arthur, ‘that I shouldn’t not have sex?’
‘Well,’ said the furry, ‘I know many behavioral psychologists that are
very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually
decided to cut through the whoile tangled problem and breed
an creature that actually wanted to be sexualized and was capable of
saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.’
Yeah, basically where I was going with it, but with that finishing note of “women aren’t really people so it’s okay to joke about making them into pets”
Huh, I was assuming that catgirls were not human women, like, they’d be robots or another species. Much more domesticated cat, and much less ‘girl’. Domesticated just-cats could bring me tea, that sounds pretty charming and non-horrible. (Or robot catgirls can play videogames, and they’d be even better than electric potato-washers.) It’s just when they get human that it gets super creepy.
Human or sapient and humanoid, which amounts to the same thing. And if they’re /not/ sapient, well, first that rules out things like tea-making, second it makes the sexualization inherent in catgirls incredibly creepy, and third, at least to me, the concept of a being both human-looking and non-sapient is creepy as hell generally.
I think you mean misogynist, and it can be both. That’s the thing—progressive anti-war comedy can get caught up in sexism, progressive feminist stories can get caught up in racism, and progressive pro-gun control arguments can get caught up in ableism.
The idea of “domesticated catgirls”, in general, involves a heterosexual male interest even if they aren’t intended explicitly for sex. It’s a fantasy about a species of woman that has no real agency beyond what we want it to want, which is why Douglas Adams’s in-world justification doesn’t fly. The culture that would need to engineer catgirls is the problem.
Talkative, when I get started I never shut up so no issue here!
With that said, I, as a bisexual woman who prefers girls, and want domesticated cat-girls/Kitsune.
Are you implying that I’m a man because of this?! (Hope not, just want to make sure)
This wouldn’t be racism/racophilia this would fall under xenophobia/xenophilia.
Let me make this clear, what I want is a loyal girl friend with cat hears and a tail.
No, sorry, just that the idea of “I want a tamed catgirl” predominantly falls within the domain of “straight cis white dudes who want to objectify women guiltlessly”. Sorry for implying an assumption on you, but on the other hand, I’m guessing the person you’re quoting fits my model a bit more successfully. 😛
So unfortunately, just being a woman doesn’t make everything you like feminist, and merely being intended as anti-war doesn’t make it not super dehumanizing.
Hey, ‘artificial slave race’ worked out just fine in Battlestar Galactica. And Planet Of The Apes. And The Terminator. And I, Robot. For a while.
Guess the only counter-example I can think of is Short Circuit. There was Batteries Not Included but I bet the ancestors of those adorable little machines destroyed their creators.
No no, domestication isn’t the same as slavery.
Similar yes, but not the same, your dog isn’t your slave for instance.
Also this was intended as humor, and therefore should not be taken seriously.
I would argue that “humanoid” isn’t really a factor assuming it has no bearing on the individual’s ability to perform certain tasks (make tea, for instance, to use the above example) and may be irrelevant to their perceived sexual desirability. Intelligence level and free will are far greater factors, IMO.
Hah. What we really need here is a [catgirl or whatever one’s preference would be for] sub, someone who chooses to have whatever physical appearance (say body modification, or possibly if the tech exists, a robotic or bio-engineered but completely mindless avatar they can download into the way we’d play a VR MMORPG these days), who really gets off on the idea of being someone’s sex slave. Who also can make a decent cuppa.
Hm. Now I kind of want a movie where the tech exists (sort of like that one futuristic Bruce Willis movie I can’t be arsed to look up), and doms can hire out avatar subs from an agency like a combination of a secretary pool and an escort agency, exploring the interesting issues of a system where all the subs are supposed to be fully willing, but also are being paid really good money for doing a job where experience and qualifications aren’t really a requirement (and can be done by anyone with no chance of giving away one’s identity–no chance of your father seeing you stripping or what), and with no physical repercussions–damage to the avatar not translating to the driver and no chances of STIs or pregnancy or anything–thus mostly being done by college students and others whose income prospects are pretty limited. So, people who are going to be relying pretty heavily on that income, with few other options of making as good money, so, really, is it that they are actually enthusiastically consenting to the work because it’s what they really want to do? Or just grudgingly willing to put up with it for the pay? And is taking advantage of someone who can walk away from the job legally (i.e. not a slave) immoral if walking away would have strong negative economic repercussions? Would it be better if it was a non-paying gig being run out of like a sex dungeon for confirmed subs? Would there be a market for the flip side as well, people who want to have a personal robotic overlord, for example?
–Yeah, I’m supposed to be doing other stuff but I’ve gotten distracted again, ha ha. I just like the idea of someone else, ideally in a uniform, making me tea, heh.
I mean, I’ve already been to Tim’s and gotten a steeped tea from someone in a uniform once today already, so you’d think I’d be good; but it’s not the same if it’s not served in my house on a silver tray with fine china by someone in a frilly apron, somehow. 😀
Having read EGS where cat girls appear occasionally, it still took me a minute to realize they are people who fantasize about cat girls sexually pleasuring them.
Some jokes are so stupid, you wonder how the speaker came to think of themselves as progressive.
Funny is subjective.
PS if by “speaker” you mean me, say OP which stands for Original Poster.
In the event you mean me, I never ever said I was progressive.
Most feminists are humorless. (Based on my comedy)
But what is funny is very(By very I mean extremely) subjective, and you not liking my for of comedy is fine.
Actually, it has nothing to do with the quality of a joke. A joke can be funny and still represent something wrong in society. That people have critiqued your joke is not evidence that they didn’t find it funny—and likewise, that you intended it to be funny does not shield you from criticism if the joke was sexist.
Also, if I may say, you have the wrong avatar to be defending this case.
wow the first time I read the quote I read it wrong like “the best argument FOR military spending if this”, and it made so much sense as a funny joke, like, dudes with too much power would totally find some gross dehumanizing project to work on if they were forbidden to use it on actually killing people?
Then I read the replies and was confused, so I read the quote again and… Uh… That’s horrible. Why don’t we spend that money on ways to turn ourselves into cute furry creatures, that would be much better for a silly spenditure.
I didn’t see much of that one, but I did catch one flashback scene where Downey’s character, clearly not yet used to manifesting to mortals, pops in and earnestly tells some (per the, um, source material) “Fear not!”
And her mentor, the more experienced angel played by Della Reese, was like “oh, oh honey, no.”
(Kind of like Joyce and Sarah, come to think of it…)
I’d watch the hell out of a romcom about an angel trying to get two non-heterosexual women to fuck. Hell, how isn’t that already a movie? It would make millions!! It’d be the “Brokeback Mountain” of lesbian movies.
Well now what the fucks going on with Ruth??????? I mean I know what’s going on with Ruth but WHATS GOINGS ON WITH RUTH???????
Christ Becky was so concerned about her in their brief encounter earlier does she just see how Ruth’s behavior is but think the stress is cause of her or
Fucking hell Willis you’re gonna give me an actual heart attack
I mean, I wouldn’t put it PAST Willis, because this is a comic about making dumb decisions people regret and it’s not like Leslie’s been super-smart about relationships of late either….
… but Becky’s already got a super-cute and -cuddly girlfriend who’s very willing to experiment, and Becky’s the one slowing things down, so I don’t think she’d go for Leslie instead.
And we’re back at the bottom of the fifth. No scoring at all of late. Desanto got taken out after three really wild pitches. Bean swung once and almost hit it. The other two were way too close for comfort, nowhere near in bounds, and nearly drove her entirely away from home. Now MacIntyre’s in, and it looks like she’s going to be making yet another pitch that’s going to invade Bean’s personal space.
1. It’s been a very long while since I started reading this strip, but according to my memory (and the tags), this is the first “highway to heaven” joke in DoA history. So idk where Wills got the idea that someone was trying to stop him from making them.
2. What’s “highway to heaven?” Is it anything like “Angels in the Outfield,” or Charmed?
3. What’s the matter with Ruth? Is she stressed out over something else and Becky is just misinterpreting things? Does Ruth feel guilty cause she’s supposed to be the Good RA Who Follows Da Rules now? Or am I missing something?
Genuine question for commenters: assuming everyone is 18+ and into it, how small should an age gap between romantic partners be to be considered wise? (or at least not unduly *un*wise) ?
I mean, I’m aware of the idea that once you get to around to post-babymaking age it stops mattering (that is, a 50 year old falling for an 85-year-old isn’t really considered bad; unusual, maybe, but not suspect) and I kinda get why that is, culturally.
But there doesn’t seem to be a logical standard to apply in either case. A 50 year old and an 85 year old, versus a 20 year old and a 55 year old–is there any any legit reason for the difference in reaction, or is it all culturally normative based? (PS, assuming all parties in these cases are lesbians or wlw).
Even aside from the arbitrariness that Dandi_Andi mentions, it’s taken completely out of its original context. In its original form (probably first appearing in the 19th century), it wasn’t a guideline for the maximum age gap, it was presented as the ideal age for a woman relative to the man who’s the target for the advice. It’s exactly as sexist and heteronormative as its temporal origin would suggest.
I remember a short novel from the 19th century, written by a woman decrying the double standards of marital customs at the time. It was controversial, because among other things it spoke about how women were expected to be virgins until their wedding day while it was public knowledge that most men by the time they got married had visited several prostitutes, and you weren’t supposed to talk about things like that in literature.
It also brought up, a part I believe was based on the author’s own experiences from her first marriage, the horrible truth of the time that a lot of girls weren’t even told that sex was part of their marital duties until their wedding day, which made the wedding night especially uncomfortable. Sex was something they’d been told their entire lives was filthy and satanic and suddenly they were expected to indulge in it because they were getting married to some old friend of their parents they might have had some vague memory of meeting once several years ago.
There was one scene where she engaged in some flirtatious acts with a childhood friend her own age, and while it didn’t go any further, it highlighted that the character’s life might have been better had she married the man she’d known since they were both in the single digits, due to the contrasting chemistry between the two compared to her older husband.
The problem was that any potential suitor had to be approved by daddy first and daddy didn’t trust any man under the age of 30 to have a stable enough economy to take proper care of his special little girl, so anyone younger than the ideal age as you say wouldn’t have a chance if they tried, unless they came from an extremely wealthy family. I don’t remember if this part was mentioned in the book itself or if it was from an article about the book to give more context.
Well, one popular rule was “half your age plus seven”, putting your example of 50 and 85 right on the cusp of acceptability. But that rule, along with any other rule based on numbers, is silly and arbitrary.
Generally, the better concern is with being in similar stages of life. Leslie and a student-aged cast member would be inappropriate for each other not because the age difference is too great, but because they are in very different places in their life and would be looking for very different things out of a partner. Of course, that wouldn’t necessarily be true and it would be quite possible for that relationship to work as long as they both understand what they are looking for in a relationship and what the other is willing and able to offer.
Short version: Age differences, however large, aren’t always deal breakers, but do make successful relationships less likely.
Yup, May-December relationships can work and can be extremely loving and without a messed-up power dynamic caused by the age difference, but they’re a bit harder to make work. Not impossible, just a little more difficult because of the usual difference in stage of life the two are in.
Plus, well… Let’s be frank, there are predators out there who specifically target new adults because they see them as lacking dating experience or worldliness to see through their tactics. So a lot of times these sorts of “social rules” are really more a way to try and spot out those individuals who “just happen” to keep targeting new adults out of some weird fetishization of inexperience and youth, based on skating as close as they can to the legal law of when they are allowed to date.
Like, I ended up cutting a former friend out of my life because he kept doing this only dating new adults shit and I’m glad I did because I found out a while afterwards that he committed statutory rape against a 14 year old.
Social “rules” like this can help spot red flags for shit like that a lot faster, though that’s unfortunately shitty for people in actual loving May-December romances.
I think there’s also adults who are messed-up and in denial and choose dating teenagers over thinking about *why* they can’t get someone their own age. I mean, like, lack of bad intentions is necessary but not sufficient to avoid doing bad things. Humans are good at rationalizing away red flags. … otoh, constantly questioning your own judgement isn’t exactly good for your sanity either. Just… with great power comes great responsibility?
Pretty much this, yeah. Different stages of life come with huge power imbalances too much of the time for me not to keep an eye out, but if it ends up healthy, it ends up healthy.
Because a 20 year old is just branching out and developing their own life, possibly in college or starting a career, probably not 100% financially independent (and probably struggling if they are) and figuring themselves out. Meanwhile a 50 year old has hopefully established themselves, figured out who they are, has much more experience, and probably has much more financial stability, putting them in an undue position of influence or power in most relationships with people that much younger than them.
Leslie’s between 26 to 35, so if she were to date someone who was young (let’s say about 22 to 25) but hopefully at least made an inroad towards what they want and have a couple years independence or at least adult growth under their belt – say, Jocelyne, for example’s sake – that’d be fine. If she were to start dating Marcie, on the other hand, I’d be far more concerned and watching far more closely for red flags.
When I was 18, a 28 year old woman asked me out. I said no and that she was too old for me, which she laughed at. There was the fact that we were in very different life stages and had very different levels of experience, and there were specific issues with her as well. Even without those issues, though, I feel like there’s a power imbalance in such relationships, and that can quickly make them really uncomfortable.
I don’t believe in “appropriate age” as a concept. I’ve been into older women my entire adult life. So far the biggest age difference has been about 25 years, give or take. Then again, I’m not looking for a life partner, I’m just having fun.
I would say it greatly varies depending on individual experiences, maturity and mental development and that it is literally impossible to create a general ‘rule’ for everyone to follow without an exceptions clause.
If I were to offer my own advice it would be if you can’t instantly quantify it, start with two year limits in both a younger and an older direction and expand the limits until you reach a point of weird nonspecific discomfort where it starts to feel weird then go back one.* Use your own wisdom and consider advice from people you trust if someone is outside your self-set limits whether they are worth breaking the limits for.
*Note that if you mean solely for a sexual relationship, which is not something I have inherently assumed you meant by your usage of ‘romantic relationships’ as they are not necessarily sexual by default or even early on, obviously do not go below the age of consent for your specific country and/or state and look it up if you are unsure what it is or haven’t actually checked for certainty as it may include additional laws about consent.
Generally the most concerning thing about an age gap is the life experience and maturity of the youngest participant really not how big the gap itself is and around early twenties, people are still vulnerable like in their teens to people with bad intentions trying to use their older age or maturity to create an unbalanced power dynamic and not knowing the signs to look for to avoid it.
For me it’s not a number it’s a stage of life and power differential thing.
I’m in a happy relationship now, but I wouldn’t want to date an 18YO even if they’re consenting and shit for the following reasons:
1. An 18YO will generally not be able to support themself in a good lifestyle – allowing me to have financial power over them if we get serious. It comes with the appearance and likely reality of the older person using money to take advantage of the younger. I don’t want the power to decide whether or not someone is homeless – especially if things go south.
2. An 18YO would have a hard time relating to my concerns and experiences as an employed professional, while I’m too removed from student life at this point to easily be able to relate to their daily concerns. Unless we have shared interests, it’s going to make for a lust-based relationship that’ll go nowhere – fine if you like casual sex but that’s not my thing.
3. An 18YO is still learning how to adult, which I’m not great at myself. I want any relationship I’m in to be a meeting of equal partners, not a mentorship type arrangement, especially when I know I suck at certain key facets of adulting.
Ultimately though for me it comes down to the same reason why it’s not appropriate for a teacher to date their student or why I’d never date a coworker within my chain of command at work: If you have greater social, institutional, and/or financial power, there’s an inherent power imbalance there where you can pressure the other person into stuff they don’t necessarily want to do if they fear the consequences if they say no. Rather than risk coercing someone into a relationship, I’d rather remove all possibility of it by consciously choosing not to pursue.
I think even as a general, flexible rule, there isn’t a single number that works.
How wide the age gap can be definitely goes up as you get older, but where you are in life makes a difference too.
Like, I’m 34, and I would definitely feel weird dating a 22-year-old fresh out of college. If they’d skipped college and had been working all that things instead, I would probably still feel weird, but it would be more because I doubt I could keep up with someone that age anymore, and it would feed directly into my insecurities.
Leslie, there is such a thing as taking allusion too far. I know you’re nervous; I would be too because there’s nothing like a teenager in your family wanting to ‘help you’ with your romantic problems to inspire chaos. However, you should simply take Becky’s offer at face value.
Ok Leslie now heres where you smile, thank Becky for her kind offer, decline said offer politey and encourage Becky to…I don’t know the right words…calm down, decompress maybe, get used to having a safe place etc
Short story is that Becky has had enough hi-jinx and shenanigans for a good while and should concentrate on her job and start planning for her education (boring as that is)
.. for crying out loud, Leslie. Get on Match.com or something if you’re on the market. Don’t just mope around waiting for something to happen.. Yeah you’re in the pimple on the ass of social conservatism that is the American South, but there’s still probably thousands of women for you to date within a hundred miles.
And if you’re off the market because you’re not ready/interested/whatever at this moment in your life, just put your foot down on that and say so.
I think eHarmoney has “[gender] seeking [other gender],” “[gender] seeking [same gender]” and “[gender] seeking [any gender]” as options. they’re not super trans inclusive tho, I’m told. Never did Match, tho. Eharmony and match both are worse than useless in my region because all you get are creepy old married dudes who think “You have nice tits, wanna fuck?” is a good substitute for “Hi, I thought your profile looked neat. Want to get to know each other better?” regardless of whether you have casual sex marked off as a thing you’re into.
At least, that’s how it was back when I was on the look for a relationship years and years ago.
To quote a native, Indiana is weird. Much of Indiana was originally settled by southerners and southern Indiana, at least, is often considered to be culturally part of the South. The dividing line between Southern and not-Southern apparently runs through Indianapolis.
She’s hardly moping around. It’s been three days since she got rid of that home invader who she initially thought something might happen with. She could totally be open to dating without having done much on that front in the past three days. Aside from that, maybe internet dating’s not for her, maybe it is. idk, just found this to be a weird comment.
And now I’m thinking that “Highway to Heaven” should be the name of some lesbian sexual position and/or future Slipshine story, because apparently my mind works like that.
I am confused on the timeline. Becky looks like she’s still getting settled in to sleeping there. So does Leslie, as she is only now thinking about shopping for something to eat other than Toast (Lesbian Toast!). This scene looks like the morning after Becky first crashed at Leslie’s.
But the night that Becky crashed at Leslie’s, Ryan was… crashing, at Amber’s hands. Then we skipped 3 days ahead. Sooo…. Becky was so tired that she slept clear through 3 days and nights and only now awakened? Or we’re back to what we were at 3 days ago? Or we’re running alternate timelines simultaneously? Or are we really to believe that Leslie has fed Becky nothing but Lesbian Toast for 3 days and is only now realizing she might have to go shopping?
There’s the line about Ruth having an aneurysm whenever she sees Becky, so we can infer that Becky stayed until last night, where she started sleeping at Leslie’s.
The first night, Becky stayed with Dina, and they cuddled. The second night, she stayed again, and they Fucked Hard. The third night, Dina required complete solitude to complete the Ritual, so Becky crashed at Leslie’s. It’s all in the lore, so ya better bone up on that.
I’m going to guess Becky has been staying here every night after the staying the night with Dina arc. And a couple of days is usually pretty good for starting up a routine.
Panel 1: Becky overthanking someone showing kindness is bringing up some feels for me. Like I narrowly avoided being in the same boat as Becky once upon a time, but I was definitely brought low and emotionally at the very least dependent on the kindness of some key folks in my life.
And as such, I was very much like Becky here with the good part of my family. Thanking them from the bottom of my heart for small kindnesses that in normal circumstances wouldn’t have seemed like much, but in that extreme circumstance was everything. So I would gush and thank over and over that they didn’t turn on me or that they didn’t see me as a monster or that they thought my experiences were valid.
And I did the same with my work place. I gave my work place a lot of loyalty before they spent it all on this bullshit simply for not firing me for being trans.
And that’s one of the things about being in the soup that is hard to explain to folks. How even the smallest, simplest of kindnesses can feel like the entire world when freely given without expectation of reciprocation.
Panel 2: I love these moments when Becky’s happy-go-lucky mask slips and we see underneath it and especially what triggers it. Dad stuff, thinking about mom, anxiety. And here, we see this.
Now this might be an odd one for her mask to slip on, but it’s an important one. We know Becky doesn’t like being an imposition on people, which is probably a big factor of her being hesitant to accept Leslie’s offer immediately and her wanting to do some big gesture to thank her and feel useful. And she definitely hates being somewhere at someone else’s expense or suffering.
So yeah, she could probably ride out the dorms a little longer, but she knows that if one day the bosses downstairs bothered to notice, that would get a lot o people she cares about in trouble and that’s visually represented in Ruth’s dismay and distress when she pretends not to have noticed her.
And it’s a very Becky thing to end that chapter of her life on.
Panel 3: But then so is this. Becky never wants to be the imposition. She always wants to make her way, pay her keep, and so on.
And some of that is how quick we are to turn on people in distress if they take even a second to pull together their head and find stability before being “productive” in ending that distress (see all the people in the comment threads who raked Becky over the coals for being a free-loader because she didn’t find a job 3 days after she lost everything).
But another factor might be the culture she came from. Modern middle-class white fundamentalism tends to be brutally cruel to the idea of “not paying your way” and has very much absorbed the capitalist idea that if you aren’t productive to the economic system, then you are a worthless burden who must be gotten rid of.
So she’s spent all of her life growing up being told that being a “mooch” suckling off the “government” is the single-worst thing a person can do outside of be gay or have an abortion or believe in evolution. That people who don’t pay their way are worthless.
So of course she wants to pay this back with a grand gesture. She wants to earn her keep. She wants to not be seen as that homeless queer freeloader who just “takes advantage” of people’s kindnesses.
And Leslie is perfect here. “All I want is for you to have stability”. Oh my aching heart. Both because that’s things good people have done for me in the past and because that’s what I try and do for my students in classes, creating a small safe stable place they can just be themselves and recover from all the trauma of bigotry and hate and unsupportive parents.
Panels 4-5: Oh Becky, no. I get the desire to do a grand gesture to thank someone doing you a kindness. I get wanting to do right by the person who took you in. I get being a fussy little matchmaker like Joyce, but no, this is not the right course.
Leslie just got through an incredibly traumatic dating experience where her crush fantasy not only repeatedly dehumanized them, but broke into her home and refused to leave. The last thing she needs is to try and force herself back out onto the dating scene and even if that wasn’t the case, well, this is just bad boundaries.
I mean, it’s adorable that this is a bad boundaries she shares with Joyce given both grew up with that sort of romance and love solves all ills worldview, but still, this needs to be recognized as the not goodness this is.
Trying to force someone to date as a “kindness” is in general a terrible and often harmful idea, getting someone into a scene when they aren’t ready or aren’t recovered fully, thus risking hurting PTSD or just creating coercive pressure to date someone to get the excited do-gooder off one’s back which is a terrible thing to do to both the person and the person they are dating.
Not to mention, it’s deeply fucked up to aromantic people. Like we know Leslie isn’t, that she is rather deeply alloromantic, but Becky has known her for like a hot second before deciding this is the right course and all she really knows of Leslie’s dating history is that she had a stalker she needed a phone-savvy teenager to get rid of.
Leslie could have very easily been an aromantic lesbian and in which case, this would not only be bad boundaries, but downright poisonous and cruel to insist on.
But yeah, her heart’s in the right place, but she needs to learn like Joyce that the one stop romance solution doesn’t actually work for everyone.
“Becky never wants to be the imposition. She always wants to make her way, pay her keep, and so on.”
ooh, yeah :/ I struggle with this every day. I’d much rather do laundry than self-care. NVoice wants me always on edge, always questioning whether I’m enough, so as not to risk a nasty shock that… really isn’t likely any more. It’s so, *so* hard to let myself feel safe. To believe that someone might actually mean it when they say they want that for me, and not just mean that my sadness bothers them.
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Redhead gives you wings?
SOMEBODY, GET MARKETING ON THE PHONE!
So….lick a Redhead get wings?
I don’t see that flying in the red states.
And I see it ending terribly in Florida.
… because it’s Florida?
Explains why Becky is coming in for a Landon.
“Becky, no” –a running theme in DoA
After all the humanity you’ve gained in the last few storylines you’ve been in, don’t shift gears to become the most annoying kind of person ever!
“Becky, YES” – us commenters, usually.
I can’t believe I managed to get first Comment! You people are so slow these days…. (This comes from a person that’s been stalking this webcomic series for a year now and didnt want to post till I got first comment)
You know, people generally try to post fast *to avoid* a comment like “first comment” popping up.
Let’s let them have their moment.
So, I take it you never peeked at the “Read before posting” link?
Not…really. Makes me wish I hadn’t posted in the first place now. Dang, Isn’t there like a delete post thing I can do?
It’s okay, Edonarus. We’re all cool here….usually.
That doesn’t sound assuring with Amazing Girl smirking at me. Especially with the current events that occured with Amber. If this post doesn’t get erased, I’ll come back here and remember the shameful act that happened and bare the guilt with it in the future.
So…please no punchy the tummy?
You get this one, but no more.
Firsts are annoying as hell, but a one year wait, I say you have earned it. (Though it’s up to Willis)
Ha! Take that, whoever aired Highway to Heaven.
Fred Silverman never got anywhere near the kicking around he deserved.
Are you playing “Stairway to Heaven” or “Highway to Hell” on the hacked Muzak?
Why not both?
Has someone done a mashup? I feel like this is something DJ Earworm would have done.
That’s definitly it, Becky.
fuck that’s beautiful
Highway to Heaven? Is that one of ACDC’s less popular songs?
Nah, it’s an old…OLD!
TV series.
It aired in the mid to late 80’s. I resent the assertion that it is “old…OLD!” as I am just as old as it is.
TV show years are more like dog years, though.
Except for soap operas.
Oh wait, you mean that series about two angel women going around, helping people?
No, it was 2 men, only one of whom was an angel. You’re probably thinking of Touched By an Angel. HtH ran from ’84-’89, TBaA from ’94-2003.
Oh yeah, that one.
Similar themes, though.
No, I think it’s Led Zeppelin.
That may well, just be the best Highway to Heaven joke ever Mr. Willis. Also, that would have been a significantly better plot than the show ever actually had.
So I guess Becky’s gonna be Leslie’s wingwoman now.
ayyyyyyyyy
I could have sworn there was someone that kept first posting and everyone was trying to pass him. like 6 months ago or something. Eh, Bare wtih it for today. It shall not happen again. I promise! *crosses fingers*
Ana Chronistic is a Time Lord, and is thus able to post fist every day. We all appreciate their decision not to do so.
Maybe Daleks are invad…EXTERMINATE!
Well, yes. But none of them were just posting “first”.
That’s it, all-lesbian remake of ‘Highway to Heaven’. Who’s with me?
I’m in for literally any all-lesbian remake of anything ever.
Even of Battlefield Earth?
Can still be improved with lesbians
Doubly improved, given…things I don’t want to draw trolls by mentioning by name.
It’d be hard to not be better than the original.
Top Gun, Conan the Barbarian, The Lord of the Rings, and Demolition Man are some good candidates, I’d say.
Hmmm. The Lord of the Rings would be pretty easy to do actually, now that I think about it…
The Witch-King of Angmar is going to be SO boned.
“No living man may hinder me!”
“Look around for a minute. Do you SEE any men?”
“…Oh, shit.”
“I should have switched places with Khamul.”
Witch QUEEN of Angmar, now, and I’ve SEEN that, but it was p0rn 🙂
I don’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand, I now desperately want to find this but on the other hand there’s the inner fan wondering how sex with a Nazgul actually works.
Don’t female dwarves have beards? One wouldn’t even need to recast all the male roles.
According to Terry Pratchett, even other dwarves can’t tell male from female dwarves.
While not that extreme, Tolkien’s dwarven women do indeed have beards, are very similar in build to dwarven men, make up only about one third of the dwarven population, and many chose to not get married or have children. It’s part of why dwarven lines of succession get strange at times, because when dwarven women do have children, maternal uncles tend to view them as heirs to their bloodline. Because of all of this, most humans and elves in Middle Earth don’t know how dwarves reproduce and some humans (most humans actually) think that dwarves just pop out of the ground.
Oh, like wombats.
Nah, wombats are more sensible.
I maintain there is not one shred of evidence to say that Gimli isn’t female. NOT ONE.
Ok now I have a headcanon that actually biological sex ratio in dwarves is just as 50/50 as ours are, but because dwarves are not sexually dismorphic (ie, males and females look the same) and don’t really have gendered behaviour, when other races tried to figure out which ones were each gender they failed completely, and ended up guessing that the females were the ones wearing mre “femme” adornments, which by chance was something like 1/3 of the population. Dwarves don’t really ask each other what their parts are, so they kinda accepted that number and started using mostly male pronouns when speaking Common because that worked better when dealing with humans. But are they male? Are they???
TL;DR: headcannon that Dwarve culture doesn’t have gender (there are no cis dwarves!!) and that they only seem to be gendered in the stories because the stories were written by humans and hobbits.
@davidbreslin101 – Other than his very introduction: “There was a younger dwarf at Gloin’s side: his son Gimli.”
I mean you can take Oz’s theory and run with unreliable narration to the point that even the appendices are confused, but it seems a bit extreme to me.
There’s all of like, two romances in it anyway, so, yeah.
Um, excuse me. Aragorn/Arwen, Eowyn/Faramir, Samwise/Frodo. Those boys don’t even need to have been gay, if you didn’t read it that way, but their love is the purest ever put to paper.
Anyone with a single negative thing to say about Samwise Gamgee, put on your gloves, because we’re about to fucking fight.
I got one!
He only ever pruned one garden at night.
He’s short on self-confidence and underestimates himself, his importance, and his potential.
He got caught spying :p
butting: A hobbit’s got to sleep at some point.
Reltzik: His humbleness is what makes his achievements great. If Sam thought more of himself than “I’m just a humble gardener, looking after Master Frodo”, he wouldn’t be nearly as amazing.
foamy: And if he hadn’t, Frodo would have been fucked.
I don’t see how. He would’ve joined things regardless, when Merry and Pippin did.
If Sam hadn’t been caught spying, Gandalf wouldn’t have thought to send him along. That also means Merry and Pippin probably don’t join up, since Frodo would probably have taken a different route or waited for Gandalf. Either way, no other hobbits means Frodo’s left alone when the Ringwraiths come sniffin’, he likely doesn’t meet Tom Bombadil, and if he winds up in the Barrows, he’s toast. Hell, even if he waits for Gandalf, Gollum gives him up anyway, so he’s likely to be caught with his pants down when the Ringwraiths show up, before he’s even gone out the door.
So, without Sam, Frodo’s either left to walk on his own and gets kidnapped by the Slender Man/Ringwraiths, or he’s stuck waiting for Gandalf to get back, with the same result.
Samwise Gamgee is the absolute best! And he does simply walk into Mordor, so take that Boromir! Plus, in a lesbian LotR all you would have to do is rename the character Samantha “Sam” Gamgee, and almost all the dialogue directed at Sam doesn’t even have to change!
he calls potatoes “taters”
But BEING short on self-confidence is part of what let him let Gollum worm his way into Frodo’s heart, and that caused a few small problems.
Also Merry/Eowyn (somebody somewhere on the internet made a very good case for that as an OTP)
It was the Nostalgia Chick, Lindsey Ellis, and yes, that is, as she said, not even sub-text (in the movies at least, and I could make a case for the book as well); that is text.
OTP <3
Legolas and Gimli. Legolas takes Gimli with him too Aman/”the Undying Lands”, and Gimli convinces Legolas to go cave exploring with him, and Legolas convinces Gimli to go on nature walks through Fangorn. The appendices at the very least imply that they were either the ideal of platonic love between friends or gay. Also, Eomer and Imrahil’s sister. Beren and Luthien get referenced…and now I want a lesbian version of “The Lay of Beren and Luthien” in movie format. Hmmm. Treebeard and Saruman were once really good friends, maybe upgrade that.
I was with you, up until that last set.
Yeah, if everyone’s a lesbian (not just bi, completely lesbian) you can’t have one character hungry for another character’s wood.
I totally shipped Frodo/Sam, and that was as a teenager in a pretty homophobic place. It just /worked/ better than it being a master/servant thing.
Also Eowyn had a massive crush on Aragorn. And all the boys had a thing for Galadriel? Oh and Sam had a wife (Rose, or Rosy, I think).
But then again, we can always add more romance.
I believe all the hobbits except Frodo got married off, but Rosie Cotton was the only one that actually got a speaking part.
You can always add more romance, but it’s not always good for the story. If it’s not the kind of story that’s focused on it to start with.
Taffy: Gamgee was detailed to spy on Frodo in advance of Gandalf deciding to send him. Merry and Pippin we resolved on joining Frodo regardless as well; had Gandalf not caught Gamgee, they all would’ve joined him at the same time, at Frodo’s decoy house in Crickhollow.
There might be some rescripting needed.
Galadriel: “The time has come… for the dominion of Men.”
Elrond: “There’s no strength left in the world of Men. They’re scattered, divided, leaderless.”
I dunno, that second one practically invites an all-lesbian cast. “There’s no strength left in the world of men. (Though, honestly, was there ever?) They’re scattered, divided, leaderless. We, however, will be quite fine.”
Lesbian LoTR would be one of the best things, ever.
Didn’t Seduction Cinema do that already?
Best line in the movie was the Frodo character insisting she wasn’t the chosen hero. “I cheat on my taxes! I piss in the shower! I STOLE YOUR WALLET!”
Lets be super clear: mainstream porn does not count.
So niche porn does count?
And now I need a link. XD
All lesbian remake of Conan? Already done, was called Xena. And Top Gun is already gay.
“fear and loathing in las vegas” Lesbian edition!
Make it happen!
Kickstarter,GoFundMe… I don’t care, I want this now!
It’s surprising how little of the text would need changing to make that work. So who should be cast as the female HST?
Might be hard to make work with Silent Running.
Wasn’t that what Touched By An Angel was?
Unfortunately, Leslie is surrounded by determined people, try as she might to keep them complacent. Poor her. XD
oh god there’s a highway to heaven tag, this might be the first for an inanimate object. It’s going to be referenced again, right? If it’s important enough to be tagged…XD
Nah, there have been tags for shows before. Twilight, Persepolis, Kung Fu Panda, The Hangover… some of which are one-off refs. Dexter and Monkey Master and Ultra Car have tags, too, as does Hank the Giraffe (not to be confused with Hank Brown).
I *think* i remember that show?
Remember that the role that made Michael Landon famous was “I Was a Teenage Werewolf”. Lustwolves run with the pack?
Uh, was that a joke? Because “Bonanza”.
He also played the father on Little House on the Prairie for almost 10 years after Bonanza ended.
Teenage werewolf was first. And I think his werewolf was powered by fear and anger, not lust.
Okay, but a movie about an angel trying to get two women to fuck could be, like, any genre and still be super watchable.
Well if it’s horror I suspect it would only be watchable for “A Serbian film” or “centipede” fans.
BTW NEVER EVER watch “A Serbian Film”!!!!
Now, when you say that, do you mean A Serbian Film, as in a film with that as the title, or do you mean a Serbian film, as in a film from Serbia?
A film titled A Serbian Film, which also happens to be a Serbian film. It is a horror movie about a snuff film that gets all of the trigger warnings including but not limited to CSA.
… Confederate States of America?
Child sexual assault.
Christfuck, not every idea deserves to see the light of day…
Look at it this way, whenever some sick bastard comes up with the idea to make some twisted garbage, no matter what it is, people can point to A Serbian Film and say “It’s been done, come up with something else”.
Alternatively, someone could fucking shoot the piece of shit for even considering such a horrible fucking idea.
That’s actually a good way to thin the population, come to think of it. Just shoot every sick fuck who thinks that sort of content is a Good Idea.
Oh dear. You are making my “Curiosity traumatized the cat” sense tingle…
Then there is Salo. There is an entry for it in Wikipedia, just to get the basics.
I love film, and there have been many directors who have pushed boundaries to expand the range of art. But I am not enough of an auteur to be able to see Salo as anything but exploitative and sickening.
oh god this is a horrible thread here have the TV Tropes page on DoA D:
See, now I’m trying to think of any age-appropriate non-Robin girlfriend for Leslie, but it seems like everyone’s either a student, a student’s younger sibling, married, not into women, or multiple of the above. Or Robin, who’s out of the running by default.
Vivian!
Hmm, possible, but we don’t yet know enough about her to tell for sure
She was all I could come up with. I guess Marcie would fit your criteria but the age difference is skeevy as hell.
True, amend my first statement to “student or student-aged”
I assume you mean by that around 18-22, since grad students/phds/returning students/etc. can be considerably older, in which case yeah, agreed.
There’s the newspaper lady, who MIGHT be older? But she kinda skeeves me out. That incident with Billie, man…
Daisy is a student, more likely than not, as editorial for the newspaper seems to be students.
Daisy?
Nah, iirc she’s still a student and thus unsuitable
Daisy was my thought. Becky knows both Billie and Dorothy, both of whom know Daisy. That’s a short and redundant information chain, so it’s easily plausible.
Damn. I had the impression Daisy was older’n that.
I thought so too a few months ago, because she seemed like she was in a staff advisor position, but then people brought up she might be a student and I got off-put. Apparently, yes, IDS does use students for its editorial positions, so Daisy is a no-go.
The IDS editorial staff is all students, so no-go on that.
I mean, she’s not one of Leslie’s students.
You say that like it makes a difference.
To elaborate on that – it’s really not better because Leslie is still a staff member at the school Daisy goes too. If Leslie sees Daisy causing trouble, she has the authority to write her up, report it to her boss, whatever. Schools don’t tend to take kindly to authority dating subordinates because they get to discipline or favour as they see fit and dating kinda kills the objectivity.
Plus I’m like 99% sure it’s against Indiana University’s rules for teachers – no fucking students.
TBH I’m okay with that. Daisy’s little “incident” with Billie kinda didn’t make me like her very much.
What incident is this?
When Billie came to her to confide about Ruth kissing her and Daisy responded by…trying to kiss her.
She didn’t “try”, either. She actually did kiss her.
Wait, did she? I remember her leaning up to kiss Billie and then next strip Billie is away from her and annoyed.
Well, there’s been a whole mess of new character models on the tumblr. It could be one of them
That’s probably the most likely one.
You know, unless Leslie can convince Becky to “no”
Time for Penny to discover some bi tendencies?
Penny is a student IIRC, as Jason is. Grad student, but student.
Jocelyne!
Is she gay?
APPARENTLY NOT lmao
She says not.
Unfortunately not into women, according to word of god
aww nuts
We don’t know for SURE that Amber’s mom is straight? She’s the only single adult woman I can think of offhand
Then again, Walkyverse Leslie wasn’t aesthetically interested in Amber and the resemblance between her and her mom is pretty strong, so maybe that wouldn’t work out
WAIT. Alex! Alex is a woman who isn’t in a relationship and may well be into other women! …buuuuut I’m assuming Willis isn’t going to ship direct ports of his friends with his fictional characters
I mean, besides Wednesday White
Actually dating the parent of a student would be weird and lacking boundaries. Not really an option in my view.
Gilmore Gilrs feelings o.o
Asma? Don’t assume that just because she’s a Muslim she isn’t into women.
She’s a student.
No, I was assuming she was a student. That’s a weird conclusion to jump to.
She is a student, as per Patreon canon.
Right, I meant the conclusion about Islam and lesbianism.
Yeah, that makes sense, but I wanted to confirm that yeah, Asma straight up said she’s a student. You assumed correctly on that front.
tangential, but do we know how old Leslie is? we know she’s An Adult and old enough to have a professor job so she’s certainly(?) into her 30s at least, but do we have a better estimate than that?
is she in the Older Than The Cast bracket or the Old Enough To Be Their Mom bracket, basically
Word of Willis is late 20s to early 30s. Not QUITE Mom territory yet, but close to that ballpark.
Chloe? Do we know anything about Chloe’s orientation?
No info on Chloe, but it doesn’t matter anyway because she is a shit-flavored pudding and Leslie deserves better.
How old is Conquest in this version of the ‘verse?
Conquest is 16. That would be REALLY REALLY freaking creepy of Leslie, legal age of consent or no.
Yup. Too young :c
Definitely.
Red Car Lady, from the Toedad chase!
Isn’t that a cameo by Willis’s own wife?
Carly from the preview panels looks like she could be a coach at IU. As such she would presumably be a peer of Leslie’s and well within bounds.
(Beatrice is also new but she totally looks like a student to me.)
Not much I can say for thiz strip so I’ll say I dig Ruth’s haircut in the preview image. Let’s hope it’s not the result of something horrible happening.
Some lady was waving these sharp blades really close to her face! It was terrible!
Then she sprayed deadly chemicals in Ruth’s face!
Highway to Heaven? I think I prefer Highway to Hell.
So either Amsterdam or Somalia? 😛
OT: TIL the difference between OCD and OCPD.
honestly both of them sound plausible for me. :/ oh, and “A 2009 study involving adult autistic people found that 40% of those diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome met the diagnostic requirements for a co-morbid OCPD diagnosis.[21]” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder
fuck co-morbidity. it really does seem like I have a little bit of fucking everything.
the more I read about OCPD, the more it seems to fit. :/ I’m not sure what to *do* with that information, though. seems like I’m already doing everything that can be done.
Yeah, brains are weird.
At least from what I’ve read on here, I relate a lot to somebody of the stuff you talk about. (And therefore I am trying to reach out in some way, in case that is unclear.)
*jedi hugs* 🙂
I’m back to reading about DID-ish stuff now. and found an interesting article on boundaries; I haven’t read it all yet but, http://www.pods-online.org.uk/index.php/information/articles/article-categories/treating-dissociation-menu/95-boundaries
well.
http://www.pods-online.org.uk/index.php/information/articles/article-categories/treating-dissociation-menu/99-my-experience-of-phase-two-work
^^ That sounds kinda like my “balancing on a knife edge in a hurricane” trick. fuck. that shit’s hard enough with physical pain, I don’t wanna go through that with the emotional pain… I don’t even know how much of it there is… :/
can’t I just wave a magic wand and make the pain go away? 😛
If it’s something that bothers you, ask a pro.
Also, rule out First Year Psych Syndrome — that is, when you encounter a really relatable disorder and self-diagnose with it. I mean, you totally might have it! but you might not, too.
This is not to gaslight you or to imply that I distrust your self-judgment in any way. It’s just a thing that happens frequently (especially with diagnoses that are mainly exaggerations of typical behaviours) so it’s good to watch for it and get input from somebody who works with many people, to see whether the diagnosis is helpful and accurate to your experiences.
If you do indeed decide that this diagnosis helpfully describes your experience, then the main point of having the diagnosis will be that other people have had similar experiences, and stuff that helps them might also help you, so you can learn some sweet tips from each other.
yeah, I try to stay practical and focus on what helps over whether the corresponding label is 100% accurate. it’s just hard sometimes. 🙂
makes total sense. <3
Yeah, self-diagnosis should really be used as a patch until you can see a doctor (if used at all) to put words to what you think you might have. Even if you’re wrong, “I’m concerned I might have Disorder X” is a good starting point. Most pros will have diagnostic tests that can ascertain whether your behaviour falls into a normal, abnormal, maladaptive, or a disordered range and they can point you in the right direction.
Completely and utterly unrelated in every sense. (This is because I find it funny)
“The best argument against military spending is this. Every dollar spent on the military is a dollar not spent on genetically engineering domesticated cat girls”
Okay, this is probably gonna be all “humorless feminist” of me but I feel like I’m in good company here, so. The concept of “domesticated [anything] girls” is gross and dehumanizing as hell, and not really funny.
I was coming at it from another angle: “so, artificial slave race, huh?”
“Sentient beings created in a lab to be property? Oh yeah, sign me right the hell up for that.” 🙁
To paraphrase Douglas Adams:
‘You mean this creature actually wants us to have sex with it?’ whispered
Trillian to Ford.
‘Me?’ said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, ‘I don’t mean
anything.’
‘That’s absolutely horrible,’ exclaimed Arthur, ‘the most revolting
thing I’ve ever heard.’
‘What’s the problem Earthman?’ said Zaphod, now transfering his
attention to the animal’s furry thighs.
‘I just don’t want f**k an animal that’s standing there
inviting me to,’ said Arthur, ‘It’s heartless.’
‘Better than f**king an animal that doesn’t want to be
f**ked,’ said Zaphod.
‘That’s not the point,’ Arthur protested. Then he thought about it
for a moment. ‘Alright,’ he said, ‘maybe it is the point. I don’t
care, I’m not going to think about it now. I’ll just … er … I
think I’ll just abstain,’ he muttered.
‘Abstinence?’ said the catgirl, rolling her eyes disapprovingly
at Arthur.
‘Are you going to tell me,’ said Arthur, ‘that I shouldn’t not have sex?’
‘Well,’ said the furry, ‘I know many behavioral psychologists that are
very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually
decided to cut through the whoile tangled problem and breed
an creature that actually wanted to be sexualized and was capable of
saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.’
It managed a very slight bow.
Maybe I should clarify, when I say cat-girls I mean Kitsune.
Yeah, basically where I was going with it, but with that finishing note of “women aren’t really people so it’s okay to joke about making them into pets”
Huh, I was assuming that catgirls were not human women, like, they’d be robots or another species. Much more domesticated cat, and much less ‘girl’. Domesticated just-cats could bring me tea, that sounds pretty charming and non-horrible. (Or robot catgirls can play videogames, and they’d be even better than electric potato-washers.) It’s just when they get human that it gets super creepy.
Human or sapient and humanoid, which amounts to the same thing. And if they’re /not/ sapient, well, first that rules out things like tea-making, second it makes the sexualization inherent in catgirls incredibly creepy, and third, at least to me, the concept of a being both human-looking and non-sapient is creepy as hell generally.
Non-sapient things are fully capable of both making tea and providing sexual release right now!
Though not, admittedly, usually in the same machine.
That’s what we call a market opportunity!
I’m a woman, yet I have no issue with it, it’s intended to be anti-war comedy, not some misandrist crap.
I think you mean misogynist, and it can be both. That’s the thing—progressive anti-war comedy can get caught up in sexism, progressive feminist stories can get caught up in racism, and progressive pro-gun control arguments can get caught up in ableism.
The idea of “domesticated catgirls”, in general, involves a heterosexual male interest even if they aren’t intended explicitly for sex. It’s a fantasy about a species of woman that has no real agency beyond what we want it to want, which is why Douglas Adams’s in-world justification doesn’t fly. The culture that would need to engineer catgirls is the problem.
Hoo boy I’m talkative today aren’t I?
The Ballad of Lost C’mell.
Talkative, when I get started I never shut up so no issue here!
With that said, I, as a bisexual woman who prefers girls, and want domesticated cat-girls/Kitsune.
Are you implying that I’m a man because of this?! (Hope not, just want to make sure)
This wouldn’t be racism/racophilia this would fall under xenophobia/xenophilia.
Let me make this clear, what I want is a loyal girl friend with cat hears and a tail.
No, sorry, just that the idea of “I want a tamed catgirl” predominantly falls within the domain of “straight cis white dudes who want to objectify women guiltlessly”. Sorry for implying an assumption on you, but on the other hand, I’m guessing the person you’re quoting fits my model a bit more successfully. 😛
So unfortunately, just being a woman doesn’t make everything you like feminist, and merely being intended as anti-war doesn’t make it not super dehumanizing.
Hey, ‘artificial slave race’ worked out just fine in Battlestar Galactica. And Planet Of The Apes. And The Terminator. And I, Robot. For a while.
Guess the only counter-example I can think of is Short Circuit. There was Batteries Not Included but I bet the ancestors of those adorable little machines destroyed their creators.
No no, domestication isn’t the same as slavery.
Similar yes, but not the same, your dog isn’t your slave for instance.
Also this was intended as humor, and therefore should not be taken seriously.
Dogs aren’t sapient and humanoid with all the mental, emotional, and psychological capacities those entail.
I would argue that “humanoid” isn’t really a factor assuming it has no bearing on the individual’s ability to perform certain tasks (make tea, for instance, to use the above example) and may be irrelevant to their perceived sexual desirability. Intelligence level and free will are far greater factors, IMO.
Hah. What we really need here is a [catgirl or whatever one’s preference would be for] sub, someone who chooses to have whatever physical appearance (say body modification, or possibly if the tech exists, a robotic or bio-engineered but completely mindless avatar they can download into the way we’d play a VR MMORPG these days), who really gets off on the idea of being someone’s sex slave. Who also can make a decent cuppa.
Hm. Now I kind of want a movie where the tech exists (sort of like that one futuristic Bruce Willis movie I can’t be arsed to look up), and doms can hire out avatar subs from an agency like a combination of a secretary pool and an escort agency, exploring the interesting issues of a system where all the subs are supposed to be fully willing, but also are being paid really good money for doing a job where experience and qualifications aren’t really a requirement (and can be done by anyone with no chance of giving away one’s identity–no chance of your father seeing you stripping or what), and with no physical repercussions–damage to the avatar not translating to the driver and no chances of STIs or pregnancy or anything–thus mostly being done by college students and others whose income prospects are pretty limited. So, people who are going to be relying pretty heavily on that income, with few other options of making as good money, so, really, is it that they are actually enthusiastically consenting to the work because it’s what they really want to do? Or just grudgingly willing to put up with it for the pay? And is taking advantage of someone who can walk away from the job legally (i.e. not a slave) immoral if walking away would have strong negative economic repercussions? Would it be better if it was a non-paying gig being run out of like a sex dungeon for confirmed subs? Would there be a market for the flip side as well, people who want to have a personal robotic overlord, for example?
–Yeah, I’m supposed to be doing other stuff but I’ve gotten distracted again, ha ha. I just like the idea of someone else, ideally in a uniform, making me tea, heh.
I mean, I’ve already been to Tim’s and gotten a steeped tea from someone in a uniform once today already, so you’d think I’d be good; but it’s not the same if it’s not served in my house on a silver tray with fine china by someone in a frilly apron, somehow. 😀
Having read EGS where cat girls appear occasionally, it still took me a minute to realize they are people who fantasize about cat girls sexually pleasuring them.
Some jokes are so stupid, you wonder how the speaker came to think of themselves as progressive.
Funny is subjective.
PS if by “speaker” you mean me, say OP which stands for Original Poster.
In the event you mean me, I never ever said I was progressive.
You could read that as “genetically engineering girls out of domesticated cats” rather than “genetically engineering domesticated girls out of cats”.
Which is only marginally better, admittedly. What about the cat boys? Wouldn’t they be necessary?
Most feminists are humorless. (Based on my comedy)
But what is funny is very(By very I mean extremely) subjective, and you not liking my for of comedy is fine.
Actually, it has nothing to do with the quality of a joke. A joke can be funny and still represent something wrong in society. That people have critiqued your joke is not evidence that they didn’t find it funny—and likewise, that you intended it to be funny does not shield you from criticism if the joke was sexist.
Also, if I may say, you have the wrong avatar to be defending this case.
“Most feminists are humorless. (Based on my comedy)”
Charming.
But… what if they are THIS kind of catgirls?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUuvHPr4BGk
Okay, departing from the (equally-or-more-valid) line of questioning about why only cat-GIRLS, why DOMESTICATED, etc….
….. I think you vastly underestimate humanity’s capacity to turn the most benign and banal things to warlike use.
I mean, it worked with dolphins didn’t it?
Which is hella creppy because dolphins are one of the most intelligent sea creatures. We were basically enslaving sapient creatures.
We enslaved our own species for centuries. Humans are all kinds of fucked up.
Word.
Nothing new really. We’ve been murdering each other en masse after all.
But we are good at it! (Intended as humor)
So good we became the Apex Predators of the whole planet despite murdering each other in great numbers.
And despite 99.8% of us being completely useless if you even just take our shoes away. 😛
I just want a cute cat-girl/Kitsune around the house. 🙁
As a pet, a servant/slave, a concubine, all of the above, or in some other capacity?
Friend with fluffy cuddles.
Friendship implies a relationship of equals, not one where one party owns the other as property.
So, like, a roommate/friend who is a furry with an awesome costume? –Actually, that sounds awesome.
wow the first time I read the quote I read it wrong like “the best argument FOR military spending if this”, and it made so much sense as a funny joke, like, dudes with too much power would totally find some gross dehumanizing project to work on if they were forbidden to use it on actually killing people?
Then I read the replies and was confused, so I read the quote again and… Uh… That’s horrible. Why don’t we spend that money on ways to turn ourselves into cute furry creatures, that would be much better for a silly spenditure.
I would prefer not to be domesticated.
(…And I suddenly flashed upon a particular Transformers arc…)
There’s probably a lesbian themed porn called “Thighway To Heaven”. If not, then there should be.
Had to google what Highway to Heaven is and I’m thinking that fundie households have really restrictive and archaic programming.
Also, wouldn’t “Touched by an Angel” be a more contemporary show to watch for Becky? Or does it go against certain fundamentalist doctrines?
The angels might be a bit too compassionate and understanding. They never smite people.
I didn’t see much of that one, but I did catch one flashback scene where Downey’s character, clearly not yet used to manifesting to mortals, pops in and earnestly tells some (per the, um, source material) “Fear not!”
And her mentor, the more experienced angel played by Della Reese, was like “oh, oh honey, no.”
(Kind of like Joyce and Sarah, come to think of it…)
I don’t remember Michael Landon smiting anyone in HtH either…
There was the crossover with Bonanza, where he had to kill Little Joe and take his place, to infiltrate the Ponderosa.
This did not happen, but it should have.
There was also the episode where the angel told a father there was nothing wrong with his son being gay. Probably wouldn’t fly in Becky’s household.
Have you ever watched Hallmark Channel? When they’re not running Candice Cameron vehicles they’re censoring The Waltons.
No one can pay me enough to watch the Hallmark channel.
Highway to Heaven was one of the few TV shows I absolutely hated.
I’d watch the hell out of a romcom about an angel trying to get two non-heterosexual women to fuck. Hell, how isn’t that already a movie? It would make millions!! It’d be the “Brokeback Mountain” of lesbian movies.
Directed by Uwe Boll.
NNNOOOOO!!!!! Keep that man as far away from movies as possible!!!
There’s already Carol, which is more comparable to Brokeback than a romcom would be, since it’s also a drama/romance film.
Honestly, as a lesbian with a lowkey fraught life myself, the idea of Leslie making sure Becky is taken care of is making me Feel Things???
It’s so nice, the idea of having a community like that, even a tiny one that you’re just managing to find.
😀
saaame
Well now what the fucks going on with Ruth??????? I mean I know what’s going on with Ruth but WHATS GOINGS ON WITH RUTH???????
Christ Becky was so concerned about her in their brief encounter earlier does she just see how Ruth’s behavior is but think the stress is cause of her or
Fucking hell Willis you’re gonna give me an actual heart attack
right?! she’s happy???????? what????
Now, after all this time… we have new canon for Highway to Heaven.
That is now how Michael Landon got his wings.
becky, dont fuck leslie
I don’t get that read on her attitude toward Leslie at all.
i rushed through the strip and got that read
……
I mean, I wouldn’t put it PAST Willis, because this is a comic about making dumb decisions people regret and it’s not like Leslie’s been super-smart about relationships of late either….
… but Becky’s already got a super-cute and -cuddly girlfriend who’s very willing to experiment, and Becky’s the one slowing things down, so I don’t think she’d go for Leslie instead.
I feel like Leslie’s possible suitor could be a new character, perhaps someone in the concept art / preview sketches?
At the very least, not Sydney Yus.
Please, let it not be Sydney Yus.
Sydney’s not a lesbian. You think ‘steal Robin’s girlfriend and finally have revenge on Shortpacked!’ never occurred to her? Not into women.
Also, might not be a woman. He/she/zhe is pretty androgynous, and I don’t think anyone used pronouns to refer to Sydney in Shortpacked!
Please, let it not be Sydney Yus even is she were confirmed for a lesbian woman.
I’m pretty positive Sydney uses she/her…
Pretty sure that was the episode where Sam jumped into Mark and Al was disturbed that the angel could see him.
Clearly, Leslie and Puddinghead.
And we’re back at the bottom of the fifth. No scoring at all of late. Desanto got taken out after three really wild pitches. Bean swung once and almost hit it. The other two were way too close for comfort, nowhere near in bounds, and nearly drove her entirely away from home. Now MacIntyre’s in, and it looks like she’s going to be making yet another pitch that’s going to invade Bean’s personal space.
1. It’s been a very long while since I started reading this strip, but according to my memory (and the tags), this is the first “highway to heaven” joke in DoA history. So idk where Wills got the idea that someone was trying to stop him from making them.
2. What’s “highway to heaven?” Is it anything like “Angels in the Outfield,” or Charmed?
3. What’s the matter with Ruth? Is she stressed out over something else and Becky is just misinterpreting things? Does Ruth feel guilty cause she’s supposed to be the Good RA Who Follows Da Rules now? Or am I missing something?
On probation angel is sent to to Earth to help people with their problems to earn back his wings with help from a human.
It’s like Quantum Leap, but Christian fantasy instead of sci-fi.
Genuine question for commenters: assuming everyone is 18+ and into it, how small should an age gap between romantic partners be to be considered wise? (or at least not unduly *un*wise) ?
I mean, I’m aware of the idea that once you get to around to post-babymaking age it stops mattering (that is, a 50 year old falling for an 85-year-old isn’t really considered bad; unusual, maybe, but not suspect) and I kinda get why that is, culturally.
But there doesn’t seem to be a logical standard to apply in either case. A 50 year old and an 85 year old, versus a 20 year old and a 55 year old–is there any any legit reason for the difference in reaction, or is it all culturally normative based? (PS, assuming all parties in these cases are lesbians or wlw).
One thing I’ve seen lying around re: the age gap is “halve your age, then add seven”.
Ah, the eternal wisdom of XKCD.
That drives me nuts.
Even aside from the arbitrariness that Dandi_Andi mentions, it’s taken completely out of its original context. In its original form (probably first appearing in the 19th century), it wasn’t a guideline for the maximum age gap, it was presented as the ideal age for a woman relative to the man who’s the target for the advice. It’s exactly as sexist and heteronormative as its temporal origin would suggest.
Ew, gross. Well the more you know.
I remember a short novel from the 19th century, written by a woman decrying the double standards of marital customs at the time. It was controversial, because among other things it spoke about how women were expected to be virgins until their wedding day while it was public knowledge that most men by the time they got married had visited several prostitutes, and you weren’t supposed to talk about things like that in literature.
It also brought up, a part I believe was based on the author’s own experiences from her first marriage, the horrible truth of the time that a lot of girls weren’t even told that sex was part of their marital duties until their wedding day, which made the wedding night especially uncomfortable. Sex was something they’d been told their entire lives was filthy and satanic and suddenly they were expected to indulge in it because they were getting married to some old friend of their parents they might have had some vague memory of meeting once several years ago.
There was one scene where she engaged in some flirtatious acts with a childhood friend her own age, and while it didn’t go any further, it highlighted that the character’s life might have been better had she married the man she’d known since they were both in the single digits, due to the contrasting chemistry between the two compared to her older husband.
The problem was that any potential suitor had to be approved by daddy first and daddy didn’t trust any man under the age of 30 to have a stable enough economy to take proper care of his special little girl, so anyone younger than the ideal age as you say wouldn’t have a chance if they tried, unless they came from an extremely wealthy family. I don’t remember if this part was mentioned in the book itself or if it was from an article about the book to give more context.
If you remember the name of the book, I’d love to hear it.
Well, one popular rule was “half your age plus seven”, putting your example of 50 and 85 right on the cusp of acceptability. But that rule, along with any other rule based on numbers, is silly and arbitrary.
Generally, the better concern is with being in similar stages of life. Leslie and a student-aged cast member would be inappropriate for each other not because the age difference is too great, but because they are in very different places in their life and would be looking for very different things out of a partner. Of course, that wouldn’t necessarily be true and it would be quite possible for that relationship to work as long as they both understand what they are looking for in a relationship and what the other is willing and able to offer.
Short version: Age differences, however large, aren’t always deal breakers, but do make successful relationships less likely.
I especially like the “half your age, plus seven” rule because it means that it’s kinda creepy for 14-yr-olds to date anyone.
Not true! They can date other 14 year olds. 😛
Being generous and saying Leslie’s 26, that would make her age range
Youngest: 20 (26 divided by 2 is 13 plus 7 is 20) and
Oldest: 38 (26 minus 7 is 19 times 2 is 38).
So anyone from 20 to 38 is not creepy by that metric. So none of the DoA kids except Ruth would be in her range anyways.
Yup, May-December relationships can work and can be extremely loving and without a messed-up power dynamic caused by the age difference, but they’re a bit harder to make work. Not impossible, just a little more difficult because of the usual difference in stage of life the two are in.
Plus, well… Let’s be frank, there are predators out there who specifically target new adults because they see them as lacking dating experience or worldliness to see through their tactics. So a lot of times these sorts of “social rules” are really more a way to try and spot out those individuals who “just happen” to keep targeting new adults out of some weird fetishization of inexperience and youth, based on skating as close as they can to the legal law of when they are allowed to date.
Like, I ended up cutting a former friend out of my life because he kept doing this only dating new adults shit and I’m glad I did because I found out a while afterwards that he committed statutory rape against a 14 year old.
Social “rules” like this can help spot red flags for shit like that a lot faster, though that’s unfortunately shitty for people in actual loving May-December romances.
I think there’s also adults who are messed-up and in denial and choose dating teenagers over thinking about *why* they can’t get someone their own age. I mean, like, lack of bad intentions is necessary but not sufficient to avoid doing bad things. Humans are good at rationalizing away red flags. … otoh, constantly questioning your own judgement isn’t exactly good for your sanity either. Just… with great power comes great responsibility?
Pretty much this, yeah. Different stages of life come with huge power imbalances too much of the time for me not to keep an eye out, but if it ends up healthy, it ends up healthy.
Because a 20 year old is just branching out and developing their own life, possibly in college or starting a career, probably not 100% financially independent (and probably struggling if they are) and figuring themselves out. Meanwhile a 50 year old has hopefully established themselves, figured out who they are, has much more experience, and probably has much more financial stability, putting them in an undue position of influence or power in most relationships with people that much younger than them.
Leslie’s between 26 to 35, so if she were to date someone who was young (let’s say about 22 to 25) but hopefully at least made an inroad towards what they want and have a couple years independence or at least adult growth under their belt – say, Jocelyne, for example’s sake – that’d be fine. If she were to start dating Marcie, on the other hand, I’d be far more concerned and watching far more closely for red flags.
When I was 18, a 28 year old woman asked me out. I said no and that she was too old for me, which she laughed at. There was the fact that we were in very different life stages and had very different levels of experience, and there were specific issues with her as well. Even without those issues, though, I feel like there’s a power imbalance in such relationships, and that can quickly make them really uncomfortable.
I don’t believe in “appropriate age” as a concept. I’ve been into older women my entire adult life. So far the biggest age difference has been about 25 years, give or take. Then again, I’m not looking for a life partner, I’m just having fun.
Amazing. Someone who isn’t an agist. It depends on the people. End of story.
I would say it greatly varies depending on individual experiences, maturity and mental development and that it is literally impossible to create a general ‘rule’ for everyone to follow without an exceptions clause.
If I were to offer my own advice it would be if you can’t instantly quantify it, start with two year limits in both a younger and an older direction and expand the limits until you reach a point of weird nonspecific discomfort where it starts to feel weird then go back one.* Use your own wisdom and consider advice from people you trust if someone is outside your self-set limits whether they are worth breaking the limits for.
*Note that if you mean solely for a sexual relationship, which is not something I have inherently assumed you meant by your usage of ‘romantic relationships’ as they are not necessarily sexual by default or even early on, obviously do not go below the age of consent for your specific country and/or state and look it up if you are unsure what it is or haven’t actually checked for certainty as it may include additional laws about consent.
Generally the most concerning thing about an age gap is the life experience and maturity of the youngest participant really not how big the gap itself is and around early twenties, people are still vulnerable like in their teens to people with bad intentions trying to use their older age or maturity to create an unbalanced power dynamic and not knowing the signs to look for to avoid it.
For me it’s not a number it’s a stage of life and power differential thing.
I’m in a happy relationship now, but I wouldn’t want to date an 18YO even if they’re consenting and shit for the following reasons:
1. An 18YO will generally not be able to support themself in a good lifestyle – allowing me to have financial power over them if we get serious. It comes with the appearance and likely reality of the older person using money to take advantage of the younger. I don’t want the power to decide whether or not someone is homeless – especially if things go south.
2. An 18YO would have a hard time relating to my concerns and experiences as an employed professional, while I’m too removed from student life at this point to easily be able to relate to their daily concerns. Unless we have shared interests, it’s going to make for a lust-based relationship that’ll go nowhere – fine if you like casual sex but that’s not my thing.
3. An 18YO is still learning how to adult, which I’m not great at myself. I want any relationship I’m in to be a meeting of equal partners, not a mentorship type arrangement, especially when I know I suck at certain key facets of adulting.
Ultimately though for me it comes down to the same reason why it’s not appropriate for a teacher to date their student or why I’d never date a coworker within my chain of command at work: If you have greater social, institutional, and/or financial power, there’s an inherent power imbalance there where you can pressure the other person into stuff they don’t necessarily want to do if they fear the consequences if they say no. Rather than risk coercing someone into a relationship, I’d rather remove all possibility of it by consciously choosing not to pursue.
I think even as a general, flexible rule, there isn’t a single number that works.
How wide the age gap can be definitely goes up as you get older, but where you are in life makes a difference too.
Like, I’m 34, and I would definitely feel weird dating a 22-year-old fresh out of college. If they’d skipped college and had been working all that things instead, I would probably still feel weird, but it would be more because I doubt I could keep up with someone that age anymore, and it would feed directly into my insecurities.
Leslie, there is such a thing as taking allusion too far. I know you’re nervous; I would be too because there’s nothing like a teenager in your family wanting to ‘help you’ with your romantic problems to inspire chaos. However, you should simply take Becky’s offer at face value.
Ok Leslie now heres where you smile, thank Becky for her kind offer, decline said offer politey and encourage Becky to…I don’t know the right words…calm down, decompress maybe, get used to having a safe place etc
Short story is that Becky has had enough hi-jinx and shenanigans for a good while and should concentrate on her job and start planning for her education (boring as that is)
.. for crying out loud, Leslie. Get on Match.com or something if you’re on the market. Don’t just mope around waiting for something to happen.. Yeah you’re in the pimple on the ass of social conservatism that is the American South, but there’s still probably thousands of women for you to date within a hundred miles.
And if you’re off the market because you’re not ready/interested/whatever at this moment in your life, just put your foot down on that and say so.
She’s not in the American South, she’s in the Midwest. Also, does Match.com take LGBT+ folks? Or am I thinking of eHarmony that doesn’t?
Both of them take, at the very least, gay people. I think everything beyond that is up to the users, though.
Indiana’s right next to Kentucky, which is the South. That’s why I said the pimple and not the ass.
Ahhh, I see.
I think eHarmoney has “[gender] seeking [other gender],” “[gender] seeking [same gender]” and “[gender] seeking [any gender]” as options. they’re not super trans inclusive tho, I’m told. Never did Match, tho. Eharmony and match both are worse than useless in my region because all you get are creepy old married dudes who think “You have nice tits, wanna fuck?” is a good substitute for “Hi, I thought your profile looked neat. Want to get to know each other better?” regardless of whether you have casual sex marked off as a thing you’re into.
At least, that’s how it was back when I was on the look for a relationship years and years ago.
To quote a native, Indiana is weird. Much of Indiana was originally settled by southerners and southern Indiana, at least, is often considered to be culturally part of the South. The dividing line between Southern and not-Southern apparently runs through Indianapolis.
Christian Mingle wasn’t, but they’ve been dragged along by the times.
She’s hardly moping around. It’s been three days since she got rid of that home invader who she initially thought something might happen with. She could totally be open to dating without having done much on that front in the past three days. Aside from that, maybe internet dating’s not for her, maybe it is. idk, just found this to be a weird comment.
Becky is best wingman
Becky is most ardent wingman. “Best” is yet to be determined.
The only other wingman we’ve seen in this comic is Joe.
And Joyce!
Becky will unleash Dina on any non-respectable lesbian that tries to approach Leslie. Only those with Becky’s seal of approval will be let through XD
So, what are the options Robin is still in front of her headquarters, slowly dying of sugar withdrawal or thirst?
That’s really brilliant plot for new chapter, Becky along maybe with Dina or Joyce organise Leslie dating life, what can go wrong?
Aw, Becky’s nor wearing pants! ^_^
Robin is remembered in some ways still ^^
Well, probably because sleeping with pants is rather uncomfortable
Heck, I find it really uncomfortotable to sleep with most regular clothes, pijamas and boxers all the way
Hush, you
“I’m in the HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN!!!”
Wait…
LOL XD You got “Highway to Heaven” and “Stairway to Hell” mixed up.
And now I’m thinking that “Highway to Heaven” should be the name of some lesbian sexual position and/or future Slipshine story, because apparently my mind works like that.
Here, you “earn your wings” by going down on a lady on her period. Its hard not to read the comic out of that context 😀
Are they vampire wings?
We’re gonna get a wacky lesbian version of The Parent Trap now, aren’t we? (crosses fingers)
I am confused on the timeline. Becky looks like she’s still getting settled in to sleeping there. So does Leslie, as she is only now thinking about shopping for something to eat other than Toast (Lesbian Toast!). This scene looks like the morning after Becky first crashed at Leslie’s.
But the night that Becky crashed at Leslie’s, Ryan was… crashing, at Amber’s hands. Then we skipped 3 days ahead. Sooo…. Becky was so tired that she slept clear through 3 days and nights and only now awakened? Or we’re back to what we were at 3 days ago? Or we’re running alternate timelines simultaneously? Or are we really to believe that Leslie has fed Becky nothing but Lesbian Toast for 3 days and is only now realizing she might have to go shopping?
Somebody clarify??
There’s the line about Ruth having an aneurysm whenever she sees Becky, so we can infer that Becky stayed until last night, where she started sleeping at Leslie’s.
The first night, Becky stayed with Dina, and they cuddled. The second night, she stayed again, and they Fucked Hard. The third night, Dina required complete solitude to complete the Ritual, so Becky crashed at Leslie’s. It’s all in the lore, so ya better bone up on that.
Becky was still staying on the hall last storyline (possibly in Dina’s room, we don’t know how that scene ended).
I’m going to guess Becky has been staying here every night after the staying the night with Dina arc. And a couple of days is usually pretty good for starting up a routine.
Oh wait, no, rereading it it looks like this might have been the first night she took Leslie up on her offer as she was treating it as a backup.
OR sleeping arrangements in Amber/Dina’s dorm room were vastly perturbed by whatever-the-fuck happened.
Becky is by and far the second best part of this universe…. Carla will always be my favorite
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: Becky overthanking someone showing kindness is bringing up some feels for me. Like I narrowly avoided being in the same boat as Becky once upon a time, but I was definitely brought low and emotionally at the very least dependent on the kindness of some key folks in my life.
And as such, I was very much like Becky here with the good part of my family. Thanking them from the bottom of my heart for small kindnesses that in normal circumstances wouldn’t have seemed like much, but in that extreme circumstance was everything. So I would gush and thank over and over that they didn’t turn on me or that they didn’t see me as a monster or that they thought my experiences were valid.
And I did the same with my work place. I gave my work place a lot of loyalty before they spent it all on this bullshit simply for not firing me for being trans.
And that’s one of the things about being in the soup that is hard to explain to folks. How even the smallest, simplest of kindnesses can feel like the entire world when freely given without expectation of reciprocation.
Panel 2: I love these moments when Becky’s happy-go-lucky mask slips and we see underneath it and especially what triggers it. Dad stuff, thinking about mom, anxiety. And here, we see this.
Now this might be an odd one for her mask to slip on, but it’s an important one. We know Becky doesn’t like being an imposition on people, which is probably a big factor of her being hesitant to accept Leslie’s offer immediately and her wanting to do some big gesture to thank her and feel useful. And she definitely hates being somewhere at someone else’s expense or suffering.
So yeah, she could probably ride out the dorms a little longer, but she knows that if one day the bosses downstairs bothered to notice, that would get a lot o people she cares about in trouble and that’s visually represented in Ruth’s dismay and distress when she pretends not to have noticed her.
And it’s a very Becky thing to end that chapter of her life on.
this this this
Cue Robin taking revenge on anyone dating ‘her’ lesbian.
Panel 3: But then so is this. Becky never wants to be the imposition. She always wants to make her way, pay her keep, and so on.
And some of that is how quick we are to turn on people in distress if they take even a second to pull together their head and find stability before being “productive” in ending that distress (see all the people in the comment threads who raked Becky over the coals for being a free-loader because she didn’t find a job 3 days after she lost everything).
But another factor might be the culture she came from. Modern middle-class white fundamentalism tends to be brutally cruel to the idea of “not paying your way” and has very much absorbed the capitalist idea that if you aren’t productive to the economic system, then you are a worthless burden who must be gotten rid of.
So she’s spent all of her life growing up being told that being a “mooch” suckling off the “government” is the single-worst thing a person can do outside of be gay or have an abortion or believe in evolution. That people who don’t pay their way are worthless.
So of course she wants to pay this back with a grand gesture. She wants to earn her keep. She wants to not be seen as that homeless queer freeloader who just “takes advantage” of people’s kindnesses.
And Leslie is perfect here. “All I want is for you to have stability”. Oh my aching heart. Both because that’s things good people have done for me in the past and because that’s what I try and do for my students in classes, creating a small safe stable place they can just be themselves and recover from all the trauma of bigotry and hate and unsupportive parents.
Panels 4-5: Oh Becky, no. I get the desire to do a grand gesture to thank someone doing you a kindness. I get wanting to do right by the person who took you in. I get being a fussy little matchmaker like Joyce, but no, this is not the right course.
Leslie just got through an incredibly traumatic dating experience where her crush fantasy not only repeatedly dehumanized them, but broke into her home and refused to leave. The last thing she needs is to try and force herself back out onto the dating scene and even if that wasn’t the case, well, this is just bad boundaries.
I mean, it’s adorable that this is a bad boundaries she shares with Joyce given both grew up with that sort of romance and love solves all ills worldview, but still, this needs to be recognized as the not goodness this is.
Trying to force someone to date as a “kindness” is in general a terrible and often harmful idea, getting someone into a scene when they aren’t ready or aren’t recovered fully, thus risking hurting PTSD or just creating coercive pressure to date someone to get the excited do-gooder off one’s back which is a terrible thing to do to both the person and the person they are dating.
Not to mention, it’s deeply fucked up to aromantic people. Like we know Leslie isn’t, that she is rather deeply alloromantic, but Becky has known her for like a hot second before deciding this is the right course and all she really knows of Leslie’s dating history is that she had a stalker she needed a phone-savvy teenager to get rid of.
Leslie could have very easily been an aromantic lesbian and in which case, this would not only be bad boundaries, but downright poisonous and cruel to insist on.
But yeah, her heart’s in the right place, but she needs to learn like Joyce that the one stop romance solution doesn’t actually work for everyone.
ooh, yeah :/ I struggle with this every day. I’d much rather do laundry than self-care. NVoice wants me always on edge, always questioning whether I’m enough, so as not to risk a nasty shock that… really isn’t likely any more. It’s so, *so* hard to let myself feel safe. To believe that someone might actually mean it when they say they want that for me, and not just mean that my sadness bothers them.
Last panel Becky is physically as well as metaphorically pushing Leslie. How am I the only one to mention this?