He is thinking very limited considering he’s in the girls dorm. Sarah was literally in just a towel (in comic) moments ago and two girls were making out. Expand your horizons young Howard!
I think it might be more about escaping into a fantasy world than being a creepy pervert.
Like, he still likes boobs and those are a definite attraction point for him, but I think Game of Thrones provides an extra layer of escape beyond that.
I remember watching porn through the picture-scrambling encoding the PayTV channels used back in the 80’s. Hard to see anything good, but the sound was unadulterated. To this day, good porn has to sound good, first and foremost – sexy slide shows don’t do it for me.
We used to do that in my dorm even in 2000-01. I think they eventually went to a service that made those channels total static, but for a couple years while I was there, you could click over to what I think was the Spice network, and occasionally, the picture would even clear up for 10+minutes at a time.
I’m sure he also strictly monitors how much tv the kid can watch (if any at all) which explains why the first thing he wants to do whenever he visits Ruth is catch up on game of thrones.
I don’t think Howard has actually seen GoT before, mostly due to his age (though I know some people below 18 who devotedly watch it), and his grandpa’s strigent control of the media and TV he experiences, which likely correlates to age/content ratings. Besides, he’s only ever mentioned HBO or GoT without pinpointing specific details on either. As the comments section points out, his journey to see it might just be a coping strategy from his crazy life.
It’s interesting that every appearance of (or reference to – “the Boy”) Howard reinforces some people’s “abuse victim presenting a coping mechanism” take and other people’s “oblivious, mentally damaged idiot” impression.
Giving 16 year old boys a pass on this kind of behavior because it’s “developmentally appropriate” is how you end up with 26 year old men who never developed their way out of it.
Howard shall hence forth be know as Howard “The Uncaring” seriously your sisters physically and verbaly assaulted and all you seem to give a FUCK about is seeing a pair of tits. As some one with siblings younger and older I can’t stand the idea of someone not standing up for their brother or sister.
I’m pretty sure Ruth isn’t the only one whose being abused by Sir. And this goes a little deeper then wanting to see a pair of Tits. Look at how desperate he is for the Game of Thrones. That’s not a normal reaction. He’s trying to escape the world through TV.
I think this is more of stunted maturity through bad parenting… I’d like to think that we’ll see him have a couple epiphanies and we’ll learn that he’s just a horny teenager who’s been taught poorly, but isn’t really uncaring and stupid.
1) Howard was likely told nothing about what was happening other than “We’re going to see your sister at college” and that he didn’t have to go to school that day.
2) He was probably brought along because ‘Sir’ doesn’t trust that he won’t go completely batshit crazy and do stupid hings wen left unsupervised… because he probably couldn’t make the entire trip between the hours Howard would be confined to school grounds…
2a) Likely he doesn’t trust that Howard will stay at school the full day unless he’s there to present a constant threat of danger and misery at home.
3) Given how naive Howard is, he’s probably never been exposed to anything ‘salacious’ beyond seeing female bodies in bathing suits, or sneaking peaks at the underwear ads in Target mailers. Even then he was probably shamed horribly for casting his eyesight in the general direction if he was caught doing so.
3a) Given he’s so eager and excited to “see a boobie”, I’d wager he’s one of those kids that didn’t get the permission slip signed off when the school offered sex education, if they offered it at all beyond “sex and masturbation are evil and your wee-wee will fall off if you do either”.
3b) Given 3a, he’s probably so sexually repressed as to be utterly obsessed with seeing female nudity, because it’s ‘forbidden’ and ‘sinful’.
3c) Because of 3a and 3b, his exposure to female humans is limited to the point where, other than Ruth and the “girl she’s kissing”, they’re not really people so much as exotic creatures to want to look at, watch, pet, etc… like a tiger at one of those awful “cub petting” places.
4) Given all of 3, Howard likely didn’t notice he wasn’t in the right place to tread into… and probably doesn’t care because he doesn’t see women beyond the few around him as people… He cares more about his need to get a quick wank-spank to a dirty TV show that he’s heard has naked girls in it than he does about whether he’s invaded someone else’s home and is touching their stuff.
5) Howard has all the beginnings of someone who could very likely turn into someone who gravely hurts someone else later on in his life the moment he’s off his grandfather’s leash because his only understanding of basic manners and decency centers solely around keeping ‘Sir’ happy, so interactions with women are going to be a painful learning curve that might just ignite all the repressed anger and hurt and unleash it on a target that doesn’t deserve it that he perceives as belittling or wronging him in the same way ‘Sir’ has all his life… Either that or he’ll fall into the role of getting into a relationship with someone who is just another ‘Sir’ who will take his awkwardness and lack of social graces and twist them against him to pin him into a “no one else will ever love you” trap.
Unless he has some hugely jarring epiphany or gathers up the courage to face down and escape the emotional abuse of his grandfather, any ability for Howard to have a decent social life or healthy interactions with others is going to take a long time to accomplish, or is just never going to happen.
What I find sort of disturbing is Clint just eliminated the consequences of Ruths actions for her. I could totally see him managing to hush up or get Howard off without punishment if your right and he does something really wrong.
If Clint eliminates the consequences for Ruth or for Howard, I suspect they’ll both face even worse consequences for it.
And seriously, if your read on this sequence is “Ruth gets off without punishment”, you’re really missing the point.
She *really* didn’t want to keep the job. Among other reasons, the job just got a heck of a lot harder, since everybody knows what just happened and many of them think she should be removed.
Sorry I don’t read this sequence as Ruth get off without punishment I read the sequence as Clint made sure he is the only one who gets to decide what Ruth is held accountable for, and how Ruth is punished for it.
This is actually really bad for Ruth as well as anyone she hurt. Ruth had an opportunity to face the consequences and grow from that experience, to pick herself up and learn from the whole thing, Clint stole that from her and instead replaced it with basically a punishment for existing.
My take is if he wanted her to face consequences for her actions and learn responsibility he should have let her.
If he wanted to protect her he could have let her be fired and paid the difference it would be cheaper.
If he wanted to avoid rewarding her he could have given her another harder job.
If Howard did something wrong Clint might insure Howard is let off by the people who have a duty to punish him then punish Howard essentially for getting caught. It would be likely be dissatisfying to the person hurt by Howard and send Howard the wrong message.
Fair enough. That’s a much better read than I understood at first.
I’m not either of them need punishment so much as help. “facing the consequences” isn’t as important for Ruth as “getting out from Clint’s control” and getting therapy.
I think Temperaryobsessor is onto something here. My NMum did some similar things; consequences were always framed as The End Of The World, and she would try everything to *make* me not fail. So now I’m terrified of the smallest of consequences, feel like I *have* to succeed or I’m a horrible person, which also makes it harder to succeed, and there’s no joy in success, only a brief moment of relief before my brain finds the next thing I Have To Do.
When you feel like you have to and you can’t, not existing starts to sound very nice. Any escape is preferable to that torture. (I’m glad I found a way to escape alive, but reprogramming my brain is a lot of work)
basically, Clint is taking away Ruth’s ability to consent. She’s not being allowed to say no to this job. She’s not allowed any boundaries around him, no free will; *his* will is all he seems to care about.
Oh Lord geez! That class was a nightmare to everyone. I’m like the only mature kid in my class. My teacher seemed to be more afraid of teaching about it then we we’re afraid of seeing it
“Hi sis, long time no seen, glad you are not dad. Anyway, gramp is here. If you need me I will be in a random dark room on a different floor. Byeeeeeee.”
He did NOT want to be around when Sir and Ruth came out from that office.
Follow that dream, Howie. If nothing else you have a decent chance of seeing hot chicks making out in the corridor.
Billie is awesome! Ruth is in melt-down mode and “Sir” is off to strangulate kittens or whatever, so she makes sure to check on Howard and get some more information in the process. Again she proves that she excels at short term solution.
It was when I read your comment and thought “ruin how?” that I realized my moral compass has forever been destroyed by the beautiful world of doujinshi…
Honestly, if he actually *sees* a lesbian makeout, I think he’ll be so amazed his head will explode and he retreats as fast as he can. Into a wall, door, person, or otherwise. 😛
And yeah, Billie’s proving to be bright and sensible in this situation (which, given the perception of her as an alcoholic and a cheerleader, and the negative connotations of both, is refreshing). I hope this and further information allows her to burrow into Sir’s plot and save Ruth!
The twist is, he was born without breasts of any sort. No pectorals, no nipple, nothing. Due to this he always envied those who had them– he isn’t looking for boobies for sexual gratification, no no no, he wants to be those lovely ladies on television, those boobie-havers, to gain what he’s never had. He’s trying to live vicari-titties through Game of Thrones.
Yeah, the tension and him being in a dark room while he does this raises a lot of red flags for me. I wonder if he’s used to hiding in dark rooms trying to find something to disassociate into while “sir” lays into Ruth.
I once had a roommate who lost their key within like 3 days of the semester starting. She’d then hunt me down and literally scream at me across a crowded room about how dare I lock the door and then she’d take my key. Eventually I gave up locking it and half my stuff got stolen.
there’s something very…sad, i suppose, in Howard’s expressions in those last two panels. Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s entirely cuz of the lack of hbo, hmm?
Yeah, this is looking more and more like Howard copes with things by distracting himself from reality with television. Particularly television that involves Boobies, cause…that’s hypnotizing to teenage boys I guess?
Between this and the one serious moment at the end of his last visit, yeah, its apparent that he knows something is up, but tends to hide within TVLand to avoid it or even thinking about it.
Yeah, the asexuality and being transgender meant being hella confused at most teenage boy antics and expectations as a kid. It was just a lot of wait, what?
Howard, there’s one channel right behind you, and two to see before Billie drags you out of the room. Or Meredith. Or the whole dorm. What are the odds this is not the first room he checked? XD
Also, I hope I don’t jinx this, but are we going to see the Notorious M.I.K.E.? Can I/somebody else in the comments section call him that when he shows up?
“Grampa, tell us what things were like before the Internet!!”
“Weeell, I’ll try, sonny, but that was soooo long ago…
… Back in my day, cable TV only had one channel! We called it ON, and we were thankful!
… Back in my day, the internet was called ‘Hayes Smartmodem’, websites were called ‘BBS’, and it was all in black-and-white! Actually, it was in black-and-GREEN! And we liked it!
… Back in my day, all our pr0n was in ASCII! And we LOVED it!!
I remember when I was Howard’s age (which I assume to be around 16 or 17) and was on a quest to see boobies, pubes, the entire undraped female form, whatever. Then I got old enough (18 back in those days) to go to the strip joints and tittie bars … and a strange thing happened. Within about five years I realized that 1) boobies were boobies and when you got right down to it there wasn’t a whole heckuvalot of difference from one pair to the other, and 2) spending money in a place where you could look but not touch was, like going to a restaurant where you could only smell the food but not eat any of it, just plain dumb.
I was in the same boat, except the “no touching” rule was never enforced, but I quickly realized just buying a girl beer was cheaper than the VIP room.
Hm, it really seems men are wired differently in some ways.
Watching someone display their boobies (or more) for money usually turns me off at lightning speed. Most porn does the same – might be because most porn is really bad and avoids consent like the plague. The only explanation for so much bad porn being around is that guys will watch it anyways. And that’s a really creepy though.
Speaking as a guy, I feel the same way about strip clubs and most porn. It doesn’t help that they tend to feature a single female body-type (which isn’t really attractive to me) and said women are always wearing a large amount of really tasteless cosmetics (nothing like having glitter or giant fake nails near your delicate bits) and usually articles of clothing that also turn me off (why are they wearing enormous platform heels while standing/kneeling on a bed? that has to be bad for your ankles. also that thing looks like it came out of a wal-mart bargain bin).
Also the men in porn are always either a complete d-bag or old enough to be my dad. The men who frequent in strip clubs tend to be both.
Actually all you have to do is change the capitalisation of one letter in your e-mail address. I just happened to remember that the one letter I changed the other night produced a Becky.
Another possibility is that Howard is unaware his grandfather is abusive. He knows his grandfather yells, screams, and probably is horrible but he may not make the connection. Especially if Sir avoids showing it around Howard himself. Many abusers only target one child after all. Which from Howard’s perspective is everyone acts really weird around him when he doesn’t understand the big deal.
Yeah, I’ve had the thought as well that gramps treats Howard differently because he’s not Ruth, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he treats Howard differently because he’s male.
Yeah, exactly. Why would they know any different?
Ruth can remember Canada and their parents, but Howie was too young when the accident happened. He may well fit this pattern.
I’m sure sir gramps would have explained to both the children why exactly he’s doing what he’s doing, why it’s ‘for their own good’ and how they deserve every single bad thing they get. The word ‘abuse’ would not feature in the explanation.
Ruth is old and savvy enough to see through the bullshit, but Howard…
The “great” thing about abuse is that even when you see through it, it still works on you. Ruth knows her grandfather is abusive, but she’s still internalized so much of the worthlessness he’s drilled into her.
You’re dependent on them. You still need to appease them to get through the day with minimum damage. Even believing the nonsense about deserving it seems to help, because it gives you a sense of control: “If I just behave better and do what he wants, then it won’t happen today.” That it doesn’t work, that the standards aren’t reachable or the abuse is actually random or triggered by things in the abuser’s life out of your control doesn’t matter. Grasping for that bit of control is important.
That’s my suspicion as well. That he’s being abused by “sir” but just assumes that’s normal, because he, unlike Ruth, doesn’t remember not being raised by abusive patriarchs.
It feels off to me too and I was thinking about that strip, but the numbers given seem pretty solid. I was actually surprised when I came across this one, with the reference to her being 16.
I’d also assumed they’d been with Clint longer. If Ruth was really 16 when the abuse started, that seems odd to me. To pick up the full conditioning she shows, I’d expect it started sooner.
Of course the trauma of losing their parents could easily have left her vulnerable.
You know, now I’m wondering if Ruth’s mom ever DID escape that rat bastard, or if he moved in, as grandparents sometimes do, and took the kids to the US when he was granted custody.
Or, if not, if he was simply in contact with his daughter and had access, however occasional, to Ruth and Howard, during which time he instilled these reactions.
Not really. At most they can track you to whatever IP address your ISP has given you. But most ISPs won’t do shit about it unless it was illegal content. Then they might send an email. Which would then go to the person paying for the account.
But, otherwise, nah. They don’t know whether it’s an adult or a kid watching, and they don’t care. The age gate is just there to keep companies out of trouble if someone complains.
Game of Thrones is a story about how siblings survive the loss of their parents as well as the struggles involved in a society that does not look after their needs. I respect and admire Howard for wanting to enjoy the deep, amazing storytelling–nudity included.
How long DOES he last, the man contractually obligated to die in every role he’s in playing a character in a book/TV seris notorious for murdering it’s cast?
Before he became famous, Sean Bean started in an episode of Jim Henson’s The Storyteller where he played the role of a soldier who after several adventures found that death was so afraid of him he could not die (and this was treated as a bad thing).
I remember when the Final Fantasy 15 movie was gonna come out and they revealed who the English voice cast was gonna be and I saw Sean Bean would voice a character, I joked about how his character was gonna die. Guess what happened?
Sean Bean actually gave his answer for why he dies so often. “Well, I work in Hollywood and have a British accent. Therefore, I’m usually cast as the villain and get horribly murdered. Then it sort of took off from there.”
I kind of get the feeling that Howard just “knows better” than to ask questions of his grandfather?
But yeah, his whole demeanor on this trip seems to be more of a “I get to see my sister…and attempt to watch softcore porn on TV.” sort of thing than being worried for her mental state.
I can totally see Sir just leaving out all the information beyond telling Howard that he’s coming along while Sir “Goes and fixes the mess Ruth has gotten herself into this time” or something like that.
Dunno. He may know that something is up but that nobody is talking about it. And/or he may be another victim of Clint’s abuse, and was verbally bashed the whole way here. (That second one in particular would explain why he wants to escape so much.)
Clint expects Ruth to not only stay in college, but to keep her job. The idea that ‘mental problems = reason to go home’ might have never entered Howard’s mental landscape
Definitely. I also think he’s either smart or experienced enough in the ways of the CHIN not to trust that spin, and is wondering exactly what’s going on and when the shoe will drop.
I think that Ruth and Clint have a largely-unspoken agreement that Howard doesn’t need to know. That greatly increases the likelihood that this was some kind of horrible suicide pact. It is also possible that Clint uses this as leverage – “Maybe the time has come to tell your brother what happened to his parents and how you lied to him about it?”
On one hand, he might be autistic and is most definitely abused and tuning out most of what’s happening with his family and reallly doesn’t want to be having this conversation.
Howard. No. Just no. You can’t just trespass in someone else’s dorm room. This will intensely creep out Meredith and or her roommate/lover (I know how this hall tends to work). Also, please for the love of God let the door have been either unlocked or opened, because if it was locked you are breaking and entering!! Also, uh, good work finding the little horny puppy Billie. No get him out before he starts going through Meredith’s (or her roommate’s) underwear.
That’s right, Howard. Tamp all that drama down so you can survive until you’re old enough to get away from the abusive old fuck.
Sure, you’ll be nice’n fucked up afterwards, but that’s usually what it takes.
Feelings pay themselves back, with interest.
But, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, til you can get to a place to handle them safely or skilfully.
(Particularly when you’re like 15, with no known supports or ways to deal with any of it.)
This is what Billie should say: “Howard, I want to tell you something. Across the hall, there is a dorm which Sam stays in. If you want to see topless women, go there.” Then she would effectively get rid of Howard
I’unno. Still think there should be more terrified Mary on that cover. I can see her peeking out of the door of her room, but that’s just not enough for me.
Ok this kid is rapidly challenging Robyn for title of most annoying character…well ok thats not going to happen but he definitely has taken second spot over Becky and even if, as it seems likely, his behaviour is due to abuse at home its still no excuse to be going into other peoples rooms and messing with their stuff
True, and his other major relationship model is Clint. And, all the super messed-up relationships in GoT, I guess. He probably won’t be dating for a bit longer, but dang, I hope he finds himself some healthier examples before then.
Now that we know Clint’s name, can we not call him “Sir?” It just feels like giving him respect that he doesn’t deserve. Would anyone call Blaine “Sir,” knowing what we know about him? Would anyone call ToeDad, er Ross, “Sir?” Even if “Sir Gramps” is now canon in-strip, does that mean we have to follow suit?
I’m not going to try to make “Abusey McAbuseface” happen, but “Sir?” Jeez.
I think the idea is that using his name…. “humanizes” him somehow? Where a title can easily be shifted from a show of respect into a snide remark with just a tonal shift.
Which might be difficult to show over text. That is a good point.
I suppose we could all just agree to call him ChinGramps. To go with ToeDad (Ross) …and Apparently Officially AssDad (Blaine)
It depends on perspective. To mind mind, using ‘Sir’ to talk about a person implies you are talking about an asshole who expects you to do as he says no matter what. Because ‘Sir’ is an enforced term of respect that belongs into military hierarchy and shouldn’t have a place in civilian life, let alone a family.
That’s how I use it. Sir Grandpa is the most cutting thing I can think of saying about him, and the most fitting and memorable. I’m glad Billie shares my opinion.
I call him “Sir” out of disrespect. The quotation marks are a reminder that it’s a mockery of a respect and authority he doesn’t deserve and only have because of him going out of his way to bully teenagers.
He could have been “Gramps” or “Grand-dad” or “Clint” or even “mr Hughes” to Ruth. He’s not. When her parents died, he could have welcomed her, he could have comforted her and built the foundation of a relationship and thereby earnt respect and maybe even love. He did not.
He does not deserve something as humanising as a name. All he is is “Sir”.
(That’s why I call him “Sir”. I don’t have any opinions on what you or anyone else call him.)
Mend didn’t stick. Nothing is helping. Can’t de-escalate and keep getting angrier. Saying shit I don’t even mean, now. Just want to apologise and be believed, for once…
I’m sorry to hear things aren’t well. It might be a good idea to get a little distance – go for a walk maybe? Do you have a friend you can stay with for the night? It’d also be a good idea to search for a psychiatrist, as they may be better equipped to help you.
No friends, except one in the next town over. That’s a 30-minute drive in good conditions, though. Girlfriend is in that town, too, so I’m okay to stay home tonight. Not sure if this is a crisis, either. Just a horrible headspace that’s easier and easier to get into. A walk might be good. Sorry for continuing to dump this in the comments, not sure why that keeps happening.
Okay, my mistake, I was under the impression you were with someone in the same building and the situation was worsening, which is why I suggested finding another place to sleep.
As for the crisis line, if it gets to the point you were at the other night, where you felt like you didn’t deserve to live, absolutely call them. Even if they’re not able to help, they may be able to point you towards a place that can.
Yeah, sometimes getting some mental distance is helpful. Try to avoid thinking about the situation for a while – anytime you catch yourself, force yourself to think about something you like or makes you happy. Go for that walk. Lose yourself in mindless tv or an archive binge for the comic or something until you’ve cleared your head.
Maybe try to shower. I would use stuff with tea oil in it, it really clears the head if you use hot water. If you still can’t clear your head, call a crisis center or counselor. *Sympathy and MooseHugs*
You may be stuck in a harmful pattern of behaviour. What can you do to interrput the pattern? I like BBCC’s idea of taking a walk or hanging out with the crisis call center folks. If that doesn’t work for you, maybe a shower or bath? What else can you do to interrupt this spiral?
Just keep your distance for a bit, and try and see if you can plan to meet her somewhere to apologize. Just stay calm, don’t grow angry. The anger and depression clouds your mind, do try and distract yourself with television or a hobby. Maybe seek counseling, they can help you. I wish you luck, and hope that you can fix things
Okay, I don’t know all the details of your situation so I’m gonna go from the ones I’ve been in:
Sounds like you want to apologize, you want to be forgiven and have this fixed and resolved, ASAP. However, what you want (need) does not and cannot trump or override what they want right now, which is likely to be left alone. You may need to suck this up, stop trying to force resolution and/or absolution, and accept that you may never get it. Until and unless they open the dialogue with you – which may never happen – you’re just going to have to bear this.
Counselling is the word of the day, it seems. She said I need anger management counselling, and that seems like a reasonable thing. The problem is availability and a history of lashing out at people I perceive to be judging me for making use of the service they provide, especially counselors. A solid peer group would probably be better, at least until I felt confident enough to try a professional. The problem with that is, my peers consist of my two siblings, my brother’s housemate (who I do consider a friend, but is inextricable from said brother), and my girlfriend. I had “the guys” for the last several years, but that ended in November when I had a falling out with my then-best friend. He tried to reach out and reconcile the other day, but that’s not happening. This is starting to get too personal. The short of it is, a professional would be ideal, but that dynamic has proven unstable in the past, and I can’t turn to my peer group since I effectively have none. A hobby might be the only remaining option.
I should clarify that getting into a calm state is relatively easy, but getting launched from calm to wall-headbuttingly furious is just as easy, and is what I’ve been told needs to change. My moods can be…delicate, sometimes.
Further anger-release gaming suggestions: what are commonly called ARPGs, aka Diablo-likes – something like the Diablo series itself, Titan Quest, Grim Dawn. Make an in-your-face character (no summoning) and just wreck some monster faces up close and personal.
The closest I have to a Diablo-like is probably Borderlands 2, or maybe HALO Wars. Those might work. For fighting games, well… I have Dragon Ball Xenoverse, if that even counts.
You could look into seeing who offers group therapy? Like calling up and going ‘Hey, I’m interested in anger management therapy in a group setting, do you do that?’ And if they say yes, ask if you can sit in for a session to get a feel for how they approach it and how the group in general works. Even if you end up not liking that particular counselor, other people in the group might still be able to give you tips and advice that could help.
I might try it, if I can find anything and if it’s not overly expensive. Also, I’d have to look into the other participants, because there’s always that one attention-lover who does their best to take advantage of the group therapy and make it the “Me Show, featuring These Other People”. At least, that’s how it goes around here, and I’m usually too quiet and anxious IRL to say anything about it.
Very true — You’ve hit on a major part of learning how to *lead* a group. The facilitator will try to make sure they’re handling Mr Attention Guy so that everyone gets a chance to talk, too. It sounds like you’ve got enough to handle without having to run the group yourself.
The crisis line might know cheap-or-free groups in your area. If you live in a city, you may even find groups related to more specific anger-inducing issues if any seem relevant to you (such as relationship abuse prevention, PTSD, illnesses, alcohol, etc.)
Even when the group isn’t perfect, I hope that you’ll get all you can from it anyway.
Will you keep us updated?
Good luck!!
Counseling is very likely going to be worth it, even if that has not worked in the past. Think of it this way, something very bad has gone wrong and that has ended up severely hurting someone you care about and possibly fatally ruining a positive relationship in your life. That is worth fixing no matter what, so that very bad thing doesn’t hurt you and those you care about.
I know that counseling probably seems scary and expensive, but there are sliding scale clinics that are specifically there for those who don’t have much but need help as well as group therapy programs that are sometimes more open and free in cost. While you may have had bad experiences in the past, there are oodles of therapists who are nonjudgmental even about stuff like this and can help you build a better self that is less tempted to take out things on people you care about.
Beyond that, please stay safe, but also understand that your girlfriend may end up no longer wanting to see you or try and repair a relationship and that is okay. You getting better shouldn’t feel contingent on her getting back together with you and this is something you need to spend lots of effort fixing even if she decides to give you another chance.
And you will need to fix this no matter what. Treat it like shoddy brakes. You can try and drive around on it, but it’ll be dangerous for you and those closest to you. Believe in yourself and your ability to be a better version of yourself so that you never again repeat the harmful patterns that happened in this relationship including the escalation to emotional abuse when called out.
You are not worthless, you do deserve to live, and you can get better. But it’ll take hard work. And we believe you can accomplish that hard work and support you in that goal.
Is it sad that this is what I’m doing over spring break? Nothing fun, other than me writing my novel. I just wait here until like 1 AM where I live and comment
Writing a novel sounds like a better and more fun use of spring break then spending the whole time wasted. But maybe I’m just terribly old for saying that.
…You do realize that someone being obviously “weird”, “off”, “having something wrong with their head”, “completely socially clueless”, “really out of it” is not actually a working justification/reason/whatever to hurt them, right? Like… that’s not how human interaction works. That’s how ableism works. And reinforcing abuse.
Oddly enough, the only thing that I can think right now is to ask: “Just how many TV stations do they get at their grandfather’s house?” The answer could be more or less; Howie could be wanting to catch up with his favourite serials or he could be looking for the rumoured Promised Land.
To answer your question Billie, Howard was brought along to remind Ruth that if she steps out of line Howard will suffer for it. Sir is using him as a psychological weapon against her, and him being the TV obsessed fool that he is, he doesn’t realize a thing.
As a side note though Howard seems like he’s got some mental issues, he’s barely able to hold a conversation because of his obsession with game of thrones and TV in general… this kid needs some hobbies that aren’t TV, ANY hobbies that aren’t TV.
But yeah Howard being here is just more proof of how shitty Sir is, he pulled Howard out of school and dragged him down here just to dangle him in front of Ruth to fuck with her emotions. Fuck this guy
I dunno, I actually note I think there’s a serious problem on Ruth and Billie’s end. They’re totally shutting him out of the story and basically ignore him completely. When he wants to talk about his show, they just drill him out and talk over him. Certainly, Game of Thrones is more important than drinking and they haven’t talked about any of their own issues. When they actually discussed Ruth’s bisexuality with Howard, he was receptive and introspective–but they don’t care about him save in the abstract. He’s not a person to them–just a responsibility.
Him being here is probably a reminder to Ruth, that’s a good thought.
I still think he’s suffering already and the TV obsession is a sign of it. When you’ve got a known abusive household and kid showing really weird behavior, don’t just assume the kid’s weird all on his own.
“Using children” would complete the clean sweep of “sir”‘s abusive behaviors and is very much what he’s been doing with Howie whether or not he is also abusing Howie.
I don’t have a slipshine account, and from the cropped image I thought it was Becky and Dina (redhead + asian girl), and I was like “whaaat? we don’t even know if they’ll sleep together yet”. Thanks for clearing this.
Nah, that’s Billie and Ruth. Dina’s face is thinner, her skin’s a few shades darker, she doesn’t have the rosy cheeks, and Becky is both paler and her hair is brighter and shorter.
If it were Becky and Dina, though, we could take their appearance in Welcome to the Fuck Zone as confirmation they’re screwing.
You know, normally as a human being with sexuality, I feel some urge to see the NSFW content. Today no. I just want to let them have that moment in privacy.
I’ve got a bad feeling that Clint is planning on just dumping Howard at IU and telling Ruth that he has no interest in caring for anyone sired by his son-in-law any further. Naturally, he won’t be able to resist telling Ruth that her break-down was the last straw and that she had used up the last favour he was willing to do for her when he ‘fixed’ her employment issues.
Except for the fact that he can’t actually dump Howard on her while she’s living at IU, since he can’t stay in the dorms. And since he’s just gone to all this trouble to make her keep the job and thus stay in the dorms it doesn’t make any sense to then force her to drop out to take care of Howard.
I’m also pretty sure that it’s not that easy for a legal guardian to dump responsibility for a younger child onto an adult sibling. Nor, given every thing we’ve seen of Clint, is he going to give up control of either Ruth or Howard.
Nah, if Grandpa is Howard’s legal guardian (which I think he is) than they have to wait till Howard is 18 for Grandpa to just kinda throw him at Ruth like you’re suggesting.
Yea Billy for deliberately calm and helpful act. It’s pretty obvious that Howard has been mistreated and socially deprived. And he may be on the autism spectrum in some way.
I don’t know, but now that you mention it, I’m curious.
Heightwise, per panel two, I think he’s kneeling on an ottoman or something, not standing up. Other strips with him standing near Billie and Ruth are of someone closer to their height.
Framewise, he’s always been drawn as a thin guy. Billie is 18, cheerleader-tall and curvy, and Ruth is 20, and a 16-y.o. boy, so that sorta lines up.
Your right his kneeling posture contributes to it. I think I misremembered his other strips a bit. When he’s actually conversing with Ruth and Billie not in a panic he seems older to me then when he’d hiding from the world clutching a television.
she’s eighteen?
.Anyway, you cannot honestly tell me that age of consent laws or not, Howard is emotionally ready to actually see boobies. Also, he looks way younger than that
People are a bit harsh on Howard I feel. I mean he’s what 15? 16? I think he’s aware there’s something potentially wrong with the ‘Sir’/Ruth thing but it’s probably more a subconscious thing that makes him uncomfortable- and so he runs to his shows. I mean really, anyway, wtf is an utterly financially dependent minor going to be able to do anyway even if he’s aware of what he’s emotionally running from? He rocks the boat he’s even more at risk then Ruth is. He rocks the boat and Ruth probably gets in more hot water. (Which is kind of why I was wincing a bit at the Billie thing honestly, while not her fault, I feel like while in the short term Ruth may have been saved by her stepping in but in the long term… I’m worried of the consequences and her grandfather’s actions).
Howard’s a freaking child who lives with the guy. Alone most likely. He probably can’t move in with Ruth and she couldn’t financially support him even if he could. And children are considered ‘property’ by US law. And “Sir” almost certainly sees it that way.
Hell from what I remember from his last visit he was so young when their parents died he barely remembers Canada/held no feelings of attachment to the country unlike Ruth who is 4-5 years his senior. This is possibly basically all he remembers. It’s how life works. He can’t do anything with reality. Let’s go to fiction.
The accident happened four years ago, so he was twelve. Which is young, yes, but not so young that he can’t remember what life was like before (even if Ruth thinks he was too young to “appreciate” Canada). He’s still stuck with it for the moment, though.
Especially since the odds are good that Clint isn’t treating “The Boy” much better than he treats Ruth. Howard’s got to survive it.
As you say, retreating into fiction is a valid way to cope for the short term.
That said, I predict we’ll see something serious from Howard before the end of this visit. We got a little glimpse at the end of his previous appearance.
retreating into porn more like it. He doesn’t sound like he’s in it for the complex political machinations and complicated backstory. Sounds like some schoolmates just told him that the glorious unseeable holy grail that is the female nipple in the teenage mind could be glimpsed on that show.
She’s probably just figured out he doesn’t know, and to be honest, it’s not really her place to tell him. That decision should rest with Ruth.
Also, on the flip side of “Howie should definitely be informed,” my relationship with my then-15-year-old sister was negatively affected by learning about my mental illness because she wasn’t quite ready to handle it. We don’t entirely know Howie well enough to predict how he might react.
How Howie might react/whether he’s mature enough to handle the knowledge aside, if he does find out, it should be from Ruth herself (or someone that Ruth has given permission to tell Howie about it). She should get to decide when/if Howie finds out in general, but especially now, when so much has been taken out of her control in such a short time.
My god man, stop that. You’re embarassing the human race with 24/7 infantile horniness. The internet exists you idiot. Go get some relief and don’t come back until you can be a functioning human being.
I’m hoping he was so anxious to avoid Clint and Ruth coming out of that office that he just automatically went into whatever dark room was closest and started looking for HBO.
I’d guess he was looking for Ruth’s room, but found this one with the door unlocked instead, saw the TV and decided to check it out.
Certainly uncool, but not really a monster. Especially when it’s all tied up with having had to deal with Clint for the ride up and worrying about his sister and trying not to let any of it show.
Yeah hes not a monster just an annoying kid with, probably, some issues arising from his home life but still to me the issue is going into a strangers room looking for boobies
If he did see boobies and no one was around…well nature would probably take its course and I’m pretty sure Meredith would not be very happy with the realization that a teenage boy had defiled her room
I’m wondering if he was even thinking about what room this was – sometimes when I get upset, I just grab a book and start reading or drop into headcanon/fanfic land and don’t really think about where I am while I do that. If Howie just surged for the closest tv, he might not have thought about whose room this is.
I think I get what is the deal with Howard… he has been trying so hard to escape awful reality for so long that he is permanently stuck in his “happy place”…
I have seen it in real life, down to the older sibling being neurotic and suicidal and the younger sibling learning to avoid reality…
I have this thing where books make me dissociate really easily, both while I’m reading and while I’m in the middle of them but actually doing other things. My thoughts just slide into them and I start losing time for minutes at a time. My mood, my view of reality, literally everything becomes entirely disconnected with like… recent memories, plans, ideas, etc and matches the book’s narration.
I know exactly when it developed and a coping mechanism for WHAT it was. It’s how I avoided suicidal depression in my tween years – and trust me, I came close enough that I know how close I cut it. Looking back… seriously, I only made it through by letting my entire headspace be blanked out by books and what happened in them.
I look at Howard, and… yeah. At best, he knows exactly how bad the Grandpa/Ruth thing is and is desperately avoiding the topic. At worst, this is the only respite he gets from his own 24/7 shower of bullshit – that Sir Gramps probably makes him think he deserves, too.
Being able to disassociate into books was what helped me survive a childhood filled with suicidal dysphoria too. So yeah, I’m really grateful for them as a coping strategy.
The sheer amount of people insulting Howard is getting kinda freaky, rearing into malicious misinterpretation. Like we knew Clint and Ross were gonna be abusive going in with rapidly decreasing room for error up until outright confirmation of horribleness. But here, Howard’s been in, what, two strips this whole arc? And theres his legit desperation in his face, the lighting in this scene, his posture; there’s definitely more going on here, yet 80% of you are either condescending him, demonizing his surface level behavior or some combination of the two.
Where’s the nuanced conversation that was here, what, three days ago? At least wait to see where this goes before you gang up on the kid, jeez
I’d like to apologize for my part in that. I was just getting annoyed because he was starting to look like a caricature of teenage boys, but if there’s legit reasons behind it, it’s not so bad.
That said, he’s still kinda annoying in the way many chirpy little kids are.
Hes gone into a strangers room, is looking for boobies and hes a horny teenage boy so if he sees boobies and no ones around I don’t think its that big a jump to suggest that hes going to indulge in a little five knuckle shuffle
Yeah, I really doubt it. In someone else’s room? Standing there with the door open and him visible from the hall?
I think that’s a pretty big jump.
Even if I didn’t think the TV & boobies were only a cover for what’s really racing through his mind: “Oh god what’s he going to do to Ruth? Is she going to be alright? Oh god, I’ve got to go back with him. Is he going to be mad from this trip?”
I actually don’t think he’s thinking that. I think his defense mechanisms are well and truly practiced, so it’s more like ‘Ruth she’s talking about Ruth TV GAME OF THRONES I WANNA FIND GAME OF THRONES what is she talking about oh Ruth OH HEY BOOBIES EXIST I CAN THINK ABOUT BOOBIES’
When all the blood rushes from the big head to the small head bad decisions are made.
I mean if hes alone and he finally sees boobies what do you think hes going to do, just sit there and gaze at boobies?
Hes already made the decision to go into a strangers room so add the feeling of being somewhere where he knows he shouldn’t be to finally seeing some boobies and well…
I think you’re just noticing the haters more, there aren’t actually that many people hating on Howie here
(I say this as a person who’s bothered to reply to most of their bullshit)
eh, i’m about as annoyed at the haters as I am the people reducing this whole situation to “there goes Howard, off to get his prepubescent rocks off” and “doesn’t this kid know what an internet is?”. Like he’s just using the situation as an excuse to get off instead of, i’dunno, isolating himself into something familiar? I put that under “condescending him” in my original schpeal. I’m glad to see at least some people taking the time to talk about him legitimately, but the overarching conversation buzzing about seems apathetic at best and that’s worrisome to me.
While its fun to speculate on the reasons why the characters act the way they do and you are probably right about Howard but at the moment he’s acting like a boobie obsessed little horn dog
I’m sure once more of his back story is revealed the attitudes towards will change, for the better
It’s particularly annoying since we just went through this whole thing with Ruth and Clint and “He’s just strict” and abuse denial and now we’re looking at Howard and getting more hints and red flags that he’s a victim too and we’re seeing all the same “Can’t be sure” claims, with even stronger victim blaming this time.
When you’ve got a parental figure known to be abusive to one kid and you’ve got another presenting weird obsessive behavior patterns, don’t assume there’s nothing bad going on and the kid’s just a perverted, oblivious idiot. Please.
While in Howard’s case, we haven’t seen him describe his home life , his feelings about Shit Grandpa or how he’s treated the way we have with Ruth, this isn’t a court of law, so yes, you absolutely can comment on more than what is unmistakably true.
Is Howard a horny teenager? Clearly.
Is it very inappropriate for him to enter other people’s rooms and use their stuff without their permission or even their knowledge? Absolutely.
Is it crazy to think that he might be acting this way not because he simply does not respect other people’s privacy or property, but because he’s probably been abused, and may just be that desperate for a way to mentally not be here right now?
No, because there’s a lot of context and subtle cues that would support that theory.
Would that make this behavior acceptable? No. But it would strongly suggest that this behavior isn’t a result of him being a lecherous pervert, who will start jacking off the moment his search for boobies succeeds, but rather a kid doing something stupid because he’s desperate and doesn’t know what else to do.
Yeah I agree that is probably the case, in fact I’d probably put money on it but at the moment all I’m commenting is what I’m seeing him doing now.
There are certainly red flags sticking up and it’ll likely be seen that he’s been abused but at the moment, to me, he’s acting like an inappropriate little horn dog
Just like we couldn’t actually say that Clint was abusive until he started yelling at Ruth, despite every red flag and every reason to think so. We hadn’t seen it.
Just like in real life, we can’t actually believe a parent is abusive until they do something in front of us, despite all the red flags the kid is showing. We haven’t seen it.
Okay, I get so many red flags from this kid. Like, he came and visited with “sir” and Ruth and acted absolutely normally and “oblivious” before, but he immediately scarped off the second Ruth went inside and it feels likely it’s because he recognized that “sir” would be angry and violent when he exited with her and didn’t want to be anywhere near by.
And that feels supported by him being non-responsive to Billie’s queries for him and hiding in a darkened room. I dunno, it could just be the parallels with Ruth’s murder cave, but if he was just an idiot horny teenager, I don’t see why he wouldn’t kick on the lights to better see what he is doing.
Especially as he seems to be fully disassociating into the task of finding Game of Thrones, not responding to Billie’s initial soft questions and only turning and answering when she gets more firm and repeats his name (i.e. when the question is presented slightly more “sir” like rather than in a nurturing manner). And even then, his response almost feels highly defensive. Like, not only denying, but asking why even they would bring her home and his eyebrows the entire time look increasingly sad as the conversation goes on.
And that last panel… like he’s hiding in Meredith’s room instead of Ruth’s room, which he already knows would afford him privacy and would mean not getting into as much trouble trying to mess with her TV. A complete stranger’s room with the lights turned out. Which doesn’t make sense unless it’s because he’d be expected in Ruth’s room and more easily findable.
And it feels deliberate, like this was an intentional attempt to hide and I strongly suspect this has been his main coping strategy for “sir”‘s rages, holing up in a dark room he isn’t expected in and trying to wait it out until “sir” either calms down or storms off somewhere. And trying to disassociate into a task when it’s happening as well.
And his face seems haunted. Like, that’s not a teenage boy sad he’s not seeing boobies, though the fact that he knows to consistently perform that makes me think he’s been sneered at by “sir” for “not being enough of a man”. Almost like he was trying to disassociate into his “Game of Thrones” task and Billie interrupted it by insisting on a response and uncovering the oddness of his presence in this room.
Like it almost feels like a kid scared and sad because their security blanket was ripped off their head when they were trying to hide.
I dunno I’m thinking more and more that despite his protestations to the contrary and his performance of “idiot teenage straight boy”*, that he’s well aware of the man his grandpa his and is very much being abused. And “Game of Thrones” is his disassociating strategy. Not even the finding of it, but the looking for it, making it into a quest he can put all his focus into.
Also… two minor things that are niggling me more and more about Howie. One, that his quest for “Game of Thrones” is completely disconnected from anything else about it. Like, he doesn’t mention actors or characters he really likes or uses plotlines to describe what’s going on like an obsessed fan would and searches for it without any awareness of TV schedules or show times and doesn’t get angtsy about a specific time.
Which is why I’m thinking more and more it’s the quest for “Game of Thrones” that is the disassociation strategy rather than the show itself. It’s something hard and very likely fruitless that he can devote all his mental and emotional energy into instead of existing in the present when his present gets too hard to bear.
And I’m also unable to overlook Howie’s military-style haircut, buzzed on the side, flat-top up top. The style common back in the 50s and 60s. Like, there’s no way that Howie chose that hair style for himself. That hair style very likely gets him made fun of at school. And it’s very clear that it’s “sir” having very specific attitudes as to Howie’s hair and behavior based on his strict style.
And that makes me feel lots of feelings, because having autonomy and control over hair and having to fight an oft-losing battle on that front against familial pressure was a large part of my coming of age.
Also, last final point, which is, I don’t get this “teenage boy stereotype”. Like I get the idea behind it, but I have no emotional connections to it being trans and ace. Like, I was expected to be this. Was beaten regularly by my peers for not being this.
But it’s still alien and weird and I share a lot of the other commenters feeling of “stop being a perv and touching another girl’s stuff without permission” even while I recognize and empathize with it being a coping strategy.
I dunno, I can empathize with using it as a mask to protect oneself. Like, I was never willing/able to master that one, but I understand the immense pressure to learn how to fake it really fucking quick.
As a formerly idiot horny teenager I can say the reason you don’t put the lights on is because it brings more attention to what you’re doing and I’m guessing Sir has probably made it quite clear what he thinks about that type of thing also considering Howard is where he knows he shouldn’t be so hes probably trying to a low profile
Why he didn’t close the door though is beyond me…maybe not allowed to close his bedroom door at home?
Honestly, a lot of the children my best friend worked with, especially teenagers, had a kind of artificial world they could retreat into. Game of Thrones is probably something DEEPLY important to Howard because it’s a place where he can live. J Rowling had plenty of letters from abused kids who desperately wished they could go to Hogwarts, there’s people who wanted to become Avatar characters, and also those who stick to Narnia like it’s more real to them than their real lives. Westeros is probably the same thing for Howard. I do think, though, Billie thinks Howard is more aware of what’s going on than he is. I also think she and Ruth dismiss him versus talking to him which is a shame.
I don’t really see Ruth or Billie dismissing Howard. Until recently, he’d only appeared in 12 strips, many of which involved standing in the background because Blaine had just shown up, and even then, both Billie and Ruth had conversations with him.
The closest to dismissing him either of the come is Ruth having a small disagreement with him about why he doesn’t miss Canada as much as she does.
His expression in the last panel really does feel too sad and not frustrated enough for it to be completely explained by disappointment at not finding boobs on TV.
It also feels much too desperate for it so simply be escapism. If he was just a massive nerd seeking relief from awkward boredom, you’d think he would’ve brought a book or something with him, unless he for some reason was forbidden to do so.
Loading ...
Howard will now have to resort to going through a zillion women’s dorm rooms
though with his luck, he STILL won’t see a single boobie *wonk wonk*
He should try Mary’s. She doesn’t get dressed until sometime after 2pm.
“I’ve been taking a survey, should I dress before 2 pm?”
“Ye–nooooooooooooooo”
Go to Sal’s room Howard
That’s Billie’s room.
Same room though
That’s what I meant.
I know
He is thinking very limited considering he’s in the girls dorm. Sarah was literally in just a towel (in comic) moments ago and two girls were making out. Expand your horizons young Howard!
But, their not REAL girls, like on TV. Or in video games.
I think it might be more about escaping into a fantasy world than being a creepy pervert.
Like, he still likes boobs and those are a definite attraction point for him, but I think Game of Thrones provides an extra layer of escape beyond that.
Maybe Howard just has a fetish for incest?
Do they just not have the internet in Canada?
I’d ask any Canadians in the comments to chime in, but I’m worried they can’t.
Am Canadian, can confirm
Not really relevant though – Howard lives in Carmel, Indiana.
you can’t spell “carmel, indiana” without “canada”
I actually fact-checked you on that and you’re right.
I think Grampy McDoucheButt has all the security settings on high so he can’t see a damn thing on the internet.
Implying gramps is more tech savy than the kid, which, while not impossible, is at least doubtful.
Howard doesn’t seem like the sharpest kid on the block…
I’m sure they have, the problem would be the internet speed.
I managed to see my share of boobies in the 90s. It just takes patience. And it helps to develop a fetish for pixelation.
I was going to say IIRC even the skin channels didn’t air outright pr0n midday, but that was the only time we would bother watching, so hmmm
I remember watching porn through the picture-scrambling encoding the PayTV channels used back in the 80’s. Hard to see anything good, but the sound was unadulterated. To this day, good porn has to sound good, first and foremost – sexy slide shows don’t do it for me.
We used to do that in my dorm even in 2000-01. I think they eventually went to a service that made those channels total static, but for a couple years while I was there, you could click over to what I think was the Spice network, and occasionally, the picture would even clear up for 10+minutes at a time.
Clearly Sir keeps him off the internet so as to keep him under control.
I’m sure he also strictly monitors how much tv the kid can watch (if any at all) which explains why the first thing he wants to do whenever he visits Ruth is catch up on game of thrones.
I don’t think Howard has actually seen GoT before, mostly due to his age (though I know some people below 18 who devotedly watch it), and his grandpa’s strigent control of the media and TV he experiences, which likely correlates to age/content ratings. Besides, he’s only ever mentioned HBO or GoT without pinpointing specific details on either. As the comments section points out, his journey to see it might just be a coping strategy from his crazy life.
Clint can’t watch him 24/7, so it’s entirely possible he’s seen some at a friend’s house.
Unless he’s not allowed to go to a friend’s house.
Clint can’t watch him 24/7, so… like… if he’s smart, he still does.
He doesn’t even know it’s a show, he just shouts it out randomly because he thinks it’ll make people like him
Mission Successful!
Companies get weird about letting you see their content internationally.
Oh Howard
I’m howard every day with my own tv at home
I don’t think I like Howard much.
– Every reviewer of 1986’s Howard the Duck.
I’m with you there
Why? He seems completely inoffensive.
He… broke into a stranger’s bedroom, for one.
He seems completely self-obsessed.
^this. Like, sociopath levels of “I only care about my own wants, needs, and desires, what do you mean ‘other people exist and might have needs’?”
It’s interesting that every appearance of (or reference to – “the Boy”) Howard reinforces some people’s “abuse victim presenting a coping mechanism” take and other people’s “oblivious, mentally damaged idiot” impression.
gee it’s almost like one is the direct result of the other
He’s also like 16. Narcissism is kinda developmentally appropriate at that age. I’d be more worried if he was 20 and still doing this.
Giving 16 year old boys a pass on this kind of behavior because it’s “developmentally appropriate” is how you end up with 26 year old men who never developed their way out of it.
16 or not he DID break into someone’s room hoping to catch a glimpse of a tit
you can’t get away with that as a teenager
I meant the self-obsession. That bit happens to teens of all genders. Breaking into a room: less ok.
Howard shall hence forth be know as Howard “The Uncaring” seriously your sisters physically and verbaly assaulted and all you seem to give a FUCK about is seeing a pair of tits. As some one with siblings younger and older I can’t stand the idea of someone not standing up for their brother or sister.
I’m pretty sure Ruth isn’t the only one whose being abused by Sir. And this goes a little deeper then wanting to see a pair of Tits. Look at how desperate he is for the Game of Thrones. That’s not a normal reaction. He’s trying to escape the world through TV.
I think this is more of stunted maturity through bad parenting… I’d like to think that we’ll see him have a couple epiphanies and we’ll learn that he’s just a horny teenager who’s been taught poorly, but isn’t really uncaring and stupid.
Maybe.
Also, he asks “why would we bring Ruth home?”
He’s been told little or nothing about the situation, he doesn’t know that Ruth is in a bad way.
1) Howard was likely told nothing about what was happening other than “We’re going to see your sister at college” and that he didn’t have to go to school that day.
2) He was probably brought along because ‘Sir’ doesn’t trust that he won’t go completely batshit crazy and do stupid hings wen left unsupervised… because he probably couldn’t make the entire trip between the hours Howard would be confined to school grounds…
2a) Likely he doesn’t trust that Howard will stay at school the full day unless he’s there to present a constant threat of danger and misery at home.
3) Given how naive Howard is, he’s probably never been exposed to anything ‘salacious’ beyond seeing female bodies in bathing suits, or sneaking peaks at the underwear ads in Target mailers. Even then he was probably shamed horribly for casting his eyesight in the general direction if he was caught doing so.
3a) Given he’s so eager and excited to “see a boobie”, I’d wager he’s one of those kids that didn’t get the permission slip signed off when the school offered sex education, if they offered it at all beyond “sex and masturbation are evil and your wee-wee will fall off if you do either”.
3b) Given 3a, he’s probably so sexually repressed as to be utterly obsessed with seeing female nudity, because it’s ‘forbidden’ and ‘sinful’.
3c) Because of 3a and 3b, his exposure to female humans is limited to the point where, other than Ruth and the “girl she’s kissing”, they’re not really people so much as exotic creatures to want to look at, watch, pet, etc… like a tiger at one of those awful “cub petting” places.
4) Given all of 3, Howard likely didn’t notice he wasn’t in the right place to tread into… and probably doesn’t care because he doesn’t see women beyond the few around him as people… He cares more about his need to get a quick wank-spank to a dirty TV show that he’s heard has naked girls in it than he does about whether he’s invaded someone else’s home and is touching their stuff.
5) Howard has all the beginnings of someone who could very likely turn into someone who gravely hurts someone else later on in his life the moment he’s off his grandfather’s leash because his only understanding of basic manners and decency centers solely around keeping ‘Sir’ happy, so interactions with women are going to be a painful learning curve that might just ignite all the repressed anger and hurt and unleash it on a target that doesn’t deserve it that he perceives as belittling or wronging him in the same way ‘Sir’ has all his life… Either that or he’ll fall into the role of getting into a relationship with someone who is just another ‘Sir’ who will take his awkwardness and lack of social graces and twist them against him to pin him into a “no one else will ever love you” trap.
Unless he has some hugely jarring epiphany or gathers up the courage to face down and escape the emotional abuse of his grandfather, any ability for Howard to have a decent social life or healthy interactions with others is going to take a long time to accomplish, or is just never going to happen.
What I find sort of disturbing is Clint just eliminated the consequences of Ruths actions for her. I could totally see him managing to hush up or get Howard off without punishment if your right and he does something really wrong.
If Clint eliminates the consequences for Ruth or for Howard, I suspect they’ll both face even worse consequences for it.
And seriously, if your read on this sequence is “Ruth gets off without punishment”, you’re really missing the point.
She *really* didn’t want to keep the job. Among other reasons, the job just got a heck of a lot harder, since everybody knows what just happened and many of them think she should be removed.
Sorry I don’t read this sequence as Ruth get off without punishment I read the sequence as Clint made sure he is the only one who gets to decide what Ruth is held accountable for, and how Ruth is punished for it.
This is actually really bad for Ruth as well as anyone she hurt. Ruth had an opportunity to face the consequences and grow from that experience, to pick herself up and learn from the whole thing, Clint stole that from her and instead replaced it with basically a punishment for existing.
My take is if he wanted her to face consequences for her actions and learn responsibility he should have let her.
If he wanted to protect her he could have let her be fired and paid the difference it would be cheaper.
If he wanted to avoid rewarding her he could have given her another harder job.
If Howard did something wrong Clint might insure Howard is let off by the people who have a duty to punish him then punish Howard essentially for getting caught. It would be likely be dissatisfying to the person hurt by Howard and send Howard the wrong message.
Fair enough. That’s a much better read than I understood at first.
I’m not either of them need punishment so much as help. “facing the consequences” isn’t as important for Ruth as “getting out from Clint’s control” and getting therapy.
I think Temperaryobsessor is onto something here. My NMum did some similar things; consequences were always framed as The End Of The World, and she would try everything to *make* me not fail. So now I’m terrified of the smallest of consequences, feel like I *have* to succeed or I’m a horrible person, which also makes it harder to succeed, and there’s no joy in success, only a brief moment of relief before my brain finds the next thing I Have To Do.
When you feel like you have to and you can’t, not existing starts to sound very nice. Any escape is preferable to that torture. (I’m glad I found a way to escape alive, but reprogramming my brain is a lot of work)
basically, Clint is taking away Ruth’s ability to consent. She’s not being allowed to say no to this job. She’s not allowed any boundaries around him, no free will; *his* will is all he seems to care about.
Oh Lord geez! That class was a nightmare to everyone. I’m like the only mature kid in my class. My teacher seemed to be more afraid of teaching about it then we we’re afraid of seeing it
Singleminded determination. Not to see a boob, just to avoid anything serious.
Very much so.
“Hi sis, long time no seen, glad you are not dad. Anyway, gramp is here. If you need me I will be in a random dark room on a different floor. Byeeeeeee.”
He did NOT want to be around when Sir and Ruth came out from that office.
I’m glad my sister isn’t dad too. It would be weird if they were the same person.
“HELLO GLAD, I’M DAD!”
As a father, I strenuously approve of that comment.
Don’t get dad, get glad?
Follow that dream, Howie. If nothing else you have a decent chance of seeing hot chicks making out in the corridor.
Billie is awesome! Ruth is in melt-down mode and “Sir” is off to strangulate kittens or whatever, so she makes sure to check on Howard and get some more information in the process. Again she proves that she excels at short term solution.
With Howard’s luck, one of the hot chicks will be his sister, though, which is an excellent way to ruin a perfectly good lesbian makeout.
“ruin”
It was when I read your comment and thought “ruin how?” that I realized my moral compass has forever been destroyed by the beautiful world of doujinshi…
This is actually the equivalent to all pizzas being delivered by pornstars in western media.
Those motherfuckers never even have the pizza. They’re all just random well-hung dudes in a polo and khakis.
Relevant SMBC link
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2013-12-13
Honestly, if he actually *sees* a lesbian makeout, I think he’ll be so amazed his head will explode and he retreats as fast as he can. Into a wall, door, person, or otherwise. 😛
And yeah, Billie’s proving to be bright and sensible in this situation (which, given the perception of her as an alcoholic and a cheerleader, and the negative connotations of both, is refreshing). I hope this and further information allows her to burrow into Sir’s plot and save Ruth!
*Grace, Mandy and Sierra makes out*
Howard: *Explodes*
Becky: “You too, huh?”
Joyce: “ANARCHY!!!! I HAVE TO UPDATE THE PARAMETERS AGAIN!!!”
Meredith: “Please leave my room.”
The twist is, he was born without breasts of any sort. No pectorals, no nipple, nothing. Due to this he always envied those who had them– he isn’t looking for boobies for sexual gratification, no no no, he wants to be those lovely ladies on television, those boobie-havers, to gain what he’s never had. He’s trying to live vicari-titties through Game of Thrones.
I can REALLY see the existentialcomics Freud saying that.
*plays Duran Duran’s “Girls On Film” on the hacked Muzak*
Is it wrong that I always think of SpeedGrapher when I hear this song?
Do college campus’ provide cable tv?
Mine did. They also provided the first high speed internet I ever had access to, so the cable didn’t get a lot of use.
Indiana U’s dorm cable tv system has its own movie channel which airs R-rated films. So Howard just tuned in at the wrong time.
Btw IUTV’s is hilariously dated.
IUTV’s channel lineup, that is.
Looks like a basic cable package from 20 years ago!
howard! the internet is full of boobies! wait…does clint believe in conversion therapy?
…wow. He REALLY wants to avoid this issue.
He must have very limited Internet access.
howard please no don’t cry on me
i’ll cry too
Howie doesn’t look super relaxed and at ease right now…methinks GoT is mostly a convenient distraction?
^^^ this
the last thing he wants to talk about is anything to do with sir gramps
Yeah, the tension and him being in a dark room while he does this raises a lot of red flags for me. I wonder if he’s used to hiding in dark rooms trying to find something to disassociate into while “sir” lays into Ruth.
Magic 8-Ball says:
SIGNS POINT TO YES
Nailed the title for the new book!
Oh yeah I remember Ruth mentioning she doesn’t have a tv in her room once.
Man, I remember being a kid, staring at scrambled porn for almost an hour for a single brief glimpse of pixelated boobies.
Kids these days don’t know how good they have it with the internet
nice avatar/comment synergy
As a kid I can confirm that we don’t know how good we have it, but back then that’s probably what adults thought of you as a kid
In olden days they had to wander out into the forest, hoping to find a tree with a knot in it shaped like a cooter
In olden days before that, we just didn’t wear clothes. Now, we have all these rules of indecency and such. Did we forget about Adam and Eve?
On the other hand, no one had any trouble getting wood back then …
*slow clap*
I’m sure going into everybody’s room without permission and looking through all their tv channels is gonna go over so well with everybody.
I assume this is Ruth’s room, don’t most people lock their doors?
It’s Meredith’s room. Billie says right up there.
Shit I missed that.
Billie just said that this is Meredith’s room. As for locking their doors, maybe they’re too lazy for it or something.
I once had a roommate who lost their key within like 3 days of the semester starting. She’d then hunt me down and literally scream at me across a crowded room about how dare I lock the door and then she’d take my key. Eventually I gave up locking it and half my stuff got stolen.
Coincidentally, I now refuse to have roommates.
Our rooms didn’t have enough unique patterns so the game every year was “okay whose keys open who else’s doors?” and the naturally ensuing hilarity.
there’s something very…sad, i suppose, in Howard’s expressions in those last two panels. Call me crazy, but I don’t think it’s entirely cuz of the lack of hbo, hmm?
Yeah, this is looking more and more like Howard copes with things by distracting himself from reality with television. Particularly television that involves Boobies, cause…that’s hypnotizing to teenage boys I guess?
Between this and the one serious moment at the end of his last visit, yeah, its apparent that he knows something is up, but tends to hide within TVLand to avoid it or even thinking about it.
As teenage boy I deny that, but it just may be my asexuality
Yeah, the asexuality and being transgender meant being hella confused at most teenage boy antics and expectations as a kid. It was just a lot of wait, what?
That I had much that same reaction is the biggest reason I think I’m at least gray ace.
Howard, there’s one channel right behind you, and two to see before Billie drags you out of the room. Or Meredith. Or the whole dorm. What are the odds this is not the first room he checked? XD
Also, I hope I don’t jinx this, but are we going to see the Notorious M.I.K.E.? Can I/somebody else in the comments section call him that when he shows up?
I’d hate to see the damage Mike could do after a minute alone with Howard.
By which I mean, I’d LOVE to see it.
Poor kid will have to make do like we did, back in the Before Time.
“Grampa, tell us what things were like before the Internet!!”
“Weeell, I’ll try, sonny, but that was soooo long ago…
… Back in my day, cable TV only had one channel! We called it ON, and we were thankful!
… Back in my day, the internet was called ‘Hayes Smartmodem’, websites were called ‘BBS’, and it was all in black-and-white! Actually, it was in black-and-GREEN! And we liked it!
… Back in my day, all our pr0n was in ASCII! And we LOVED it!!
Do they not have internet at his home? How has Howard gone this long without seeing boobs?
Maybe he has seen some and would like to see more.
Or, more likely, he just really, really wants a distraction right now.
I remember when I was Howard’s age (which I assume to be around 16 or 17) and was on a quest to see boobies, pubes, the entire undraped female form, whatever. Then I got old enough (18 back in those days) to go to the strip joints and tittie bars … and a strange thing happened. Within about five years I realized that 1) boobies were boobies and when you got right down to it there wasn’t a whole heckuvalot of difference from one pair to the other, and 2) spending money in a place where you could look but not touch was, like going to a restaurant where you could only smell the food but not eat any of it, just plain dumb.
I went to the zoo once and those cheap bastards don’t let you lick the tigers, only look at them. It’s complete bullshit, just plain dumb.
In an ideal world, what strange and horrible things do we suppose Alopex would like to have happen at the zoo?
Pretty sure the rules are that way to keep the tigers from licking you.
Well, also biting or slapping you so hard your neck breaks. Tiger slapfights are no joke.
Difference is the zoo is educational so you get knowledge.
I was in the same boat, except the “no touching” rule was never enforced, but I quickly realized just buying a girl beer was cheaper than the VIP room.
Hm, it really seems men are wired differently in some ways.
Watching someone display their boobies (or more) for money usually turns me off at lightning speed. Most porn does the same – might be because most porn is really bad and avoids consent like the plague. The only explanation for so much bad porn being around is that guys will watch it anyways. And that’s a really creepy though.
Agreed, most “AAA” porn is crap. Especially the german variety *shudders*
Aaand I realize the implication of what I just wrote. That’s not what I was going for >.<
Speaking as a guy, I feel the same way about strip clubs and most porn. It doesn’t help that they tend to feature a single female body-type (which isn’t really attractive to me) and said women are always wearing a large amount of really tasteless cosmetics (nothing like having glitter or giant fake nails near your delicate bits) and usually articles of clothing that also turn me off (why are they wearing enormous platform heels while standing/kneeling on a bed? that has to be bad for your ankles. also that thing looks like it came out of a wal-mart bargain bin).
Also the men in porn are always either a complete d-bag or old enough to be my dad. The men who frequent in strip clubs tend to be both.
Howie, jeez. Are you related to gws’ Tyler?
At this point I think that the theory that this is a coping strategy for Howard is pretty much confirmed.
Send him to the University lost and found. Faz is still there, right?
No, Faz is being mistakenly worn by Jason as a fez
Seems Howard might have something in common with Joyce and Becky.
Hurray, my attempt to get a Becky avatar worked.
What?! He’s like Mr. Random, he gads two avatars. Guys, Illuminati confirmed
More likely just someone who posts here under two different email addys.
Actually all you have to do is change the capitalisation of one letter in your e-mail address. I just happened to remember that the one letter I changed the other night produced a Becky.
Am I the only one who’s getting an autism vibe off of Howard?
He is pretty single-minded but we haven’t seen enough of him to know.
Maybe? I think he’s just a sheltered teen.
More likely he’s trying to avoid talking about painful things with a stranger.
Another possibility is that Howard is unaware his grandfather is abusive. He knows his grandfather yells, screams, and probably is horrible but he may not make the connection. Especially if Sir avoids showing it around Howard himself. Many abusers only target one child after all. Which from Howard’s perspective is everyone acts really weird around him when he doesn’t understand the big deal.
Yeah, I’ve had the thought as well that gramps treats Howard differently because he’s not Ruth, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he treats Howard differently because he’s male.
I thought that might be the case at first too until Sir referred to him as “The Boy.” Now I think he’s at the very best openly dismissive of Howard.
He may even be abused but think that it’s normal, which would be yet another layer of sad.
Most abused children just have the acceptance that abuse seems to be normal, and assume everyone else else is also abused
Yeah, exactly. Why would they know any different?
Ruth can remember Canada and their parents, but Howie was too young when the accident happened. He may well fit this pattern.
He wasn’t that young. 12, if I’m figuring correctly.
I’m sure sir gramps would have explained to both the children why exactly he’s doing what he’s doing, why it’s ‘for their own good’ and how they deserve every single bad thing they get. The word ‘abuse’ would not feature in the explanation.
Ruth is old and savvy enough to see through the bullshit, but Howard…
The “great” thing about abuse is that even when you see through it, it still works on you. Ruth knows her grandfather is abusive, but she’s still internalized so much of the worthlessness he’s drilled into her.
You’re dependent on them. You still need to appease them to get through the day with minimum damage. Even believing the nonsense about deserving it seems to help, because it gives you a sense of control: “If I just behave better and do what he wants, then it won’t happen today.” That it doesn’t work, that the standards aren’t reachable or the abuse is actually random or triggered by things in the abuser’s life out of your control doesn’t matter. Grasping for that bit of control is important.
That’s my suspicion as well. That he’s being abused by “sir” but just assumes that’s normal, because he, unlike Ruth, doesn’t remember not being raised by abusive patriarchs.
He should remember. If I understand the timing correctly, he was around 12.
Ruth said it was when she was 16 that her parents were killed. If she’s 20 and he’s 16 now …
I dunno, it’s implied he’s at least young enough to not really notice much about his raising environment in Canada and make much of a strong opinion one way or another about it. So he might be younger than we expect:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/cookie/
It feels off to me too and I was thinking about that strip, but the numbers given seem pretty solid. I was actually surprised when I came across this one, with the reference to her being 16.
I’d also assumed they’d been with Clint longer. If Ruth was really 16 when the abuse started, that seems odd to me. To pick up the full conditioning she shows, I’d expect it started sooner.
Of course the trauma of losing their parents could easily have left her vulnerable.
You know, now I’m wondering if Ruth’s mom ever DID escape that rat bastard, or if he moved in, as grandparents sometimes do, and took the kids to the US when he was granted custody.
Or, if not, if he was simply in contact with his daughter and had access, however occasional, to Ruth and Howard, during which time he instilled these reactions.
Maybe Howard is developmentally disabled and actually didnt form coherent memories before 12? It’s not overwhelmingly likely but still a possibility
The red hair and green eyes apparently came from their dad. Howard probably looks too much like Ruth’s dad for Sir to give him the time of day. :/
The thought crossed my mind, especially since he reminds me of my brother.
I’ve definitely been pondering that for a bit. I really don’t know many autistic folk IRL, though, so I’m leery of making that call.
Glad I’m not the only one thinking it, though.
It’s so sad. He’s too young for “Education by National Geographic”.
Does Howard not have internet access?
Most people have theorized it’s very reasonable to believe Clint either limits of forbids Howard’s internet privileges.
Maybe he hasn’t realized yet that when a site asks if you’re 18, nobody actually knows if you’re lying
They can actually track your access to your device though , and get you in trouble
Not really. At most they can track you to whatever IP address your ISP has given you. But most ISPs won’t do shit about it unless it was illegal content. Then they might send an email. Which would then go to the person paying for the account.
But, otherwise, nah. They don’t know whether it’s an adult or a kid watching, and they don’t care. The age gate is just there to keep companies out of trouble if someone complains.
Game of Thrones is a story about how siblings survive the loss of their parents as well as the struggles involved in a society that does not look after their needs. I respect and admire Howard for wanting to enjoy the deep, amazing storytelling–nudity included.
🙂
Its also a show about extremely messed up parenting approaches and other sorts of familial backstabbery.
Like Shakespeare and Greco-Roman Epics all rolled into one. Plus Ice Zombies and Fire Breathing Dragons…apparently.
I dunno, I didn’t even get to Sean Bean’s inevitable demise.
How long DOES he last, the man contractually obligated to die in every role he’s in playing a character in a book/TV seris notorious for murdering it’s cast?
(SPOILERS)
‘Bout nine episodes.
(/END SPOILERS)
One season.
Before he became famous, Sean Bean started in an episode of Jim Henson’s The Storyteller where he played the role of a soldier who after several adventures found that death was so afraid of him he could not die (and this was treated as a bad thing).
Then you have his star-making role as “Richard Sharpe: a man so badass that even being played by Sean Bean couldn’t kill him.”
There is a reason one of the big reactions to Jupiter Ascending is
SPOILERS
“Sean Bean didn’t die?? He lived???”
END SPOILERS
I just hope Gendry isn’t still rowing, he’d be pretty tired by now
I remember when the Final Fantasy 15 movie was gonna come out and they revealed who the English voice cast was gonna be and I saw Sean Bean would voice a character, I joked about how his character was gonna die. Guess what happened?
SPOILERS
His character dies.
END SPOILERS
Maybe Sean Bean simply avoids being tied down with contractual obligations to star in sequels. I can respect that.
Sean Bean actually gave his answer for why he dies so often. “Well, I work in Hollywood and have a British accent. Therefore, I’m usually cast as the villain and get horribly murdered. Then it sort of took off from there.”
Does anybody else get the feeling that the details of what exactly happened with Ruth were kept from Howard or that they were spun to fit Sir?
I kind of get the feeling that Howard just “knows better” than to ask questions of his grandfather?
But yeah, his whole demeanor on this trip seems to be more of a “I get to see my sister…and attempt to watch softcore porn on TV.” sort of thing than being worried for her mental state.
I can totally see Sir just leaving out all the information beyond telling Howard that he’s coming along while Sir “Goes and fixes the mess Ruth has gotten herself into this time” or something like that.
Sir would totally spin information to his purposes, all day every day.
–oh, also his question of “why would we bring Ruth home?” implies that he has little to no idea what’s up with her.
I don’t know. With that look in his eyes?
Dunno. He may know that something is up but that nobody is talking about it. And/or he may be another victim of Clint’s abuse, and was verbally bashed the whole way here. (That second one in particular would explain why he wants to escape so much.)
Clint expects Ruth to not only stay in college, but to keep her job. The idea that ‘mental problems = reason to go home’ might have never entered Howard’s mental landscape
Definitely. I also think he’s either smart or experienced enough in the ways of the CHIN not to trust that spin, and is wondering exactly what’s going on and when the shoe will drop.
I think that Ruth and Clint have a largely-unspoken agreement that Howard doesn’t need to know. That greatly increases the likelihood that this was some kind of horrible suicide pact. It is also possible that Clint uses this as leverage – “Maybe the time has come to tell your brother what happened to his parents and how you lied to him about it?”
Glad to see I’m not the only one the sees it that way.
*spontaneously sprouts a third hand to triple face-palm* Uuuugh…
I’m beginning to think Howie’s a few candles short of a candelabra.
Well, he’ll definitely go out and buy a few more now, seeing as it will get him closer to a bra.
On one hand, he might be autistic and is most definitely abused and tuning out most of what’s happening with his family and reallly doesn’t want to be having this conversation.
On the other hand, this is an amazing simile.
Howard. No. Just no. You can’t just trespass in someone else’s dorm room. This will intensely creep out Meredith and or her roommate/lover (I know how this hall tends to work). Also, please for the love of God let the door have been either unlocked or opened, because if it was locked you are breaking and entering!! Also, uh, good work finding the little horny puppy Billie. No get him out before he starts going through Meredith’s (or her roommate’s) underwear.
That’s right, Howard. Tamp all that drama down so you can be nice’n fucked up in about ten years.
I don’t think he’ll have to wait ten years.
That’s right, Howard. Tamp all that drama down so you can survive until you’re old enough to get away from the abusive old fuck.
Sure, you’ll be nice’n fucked up afterwards, but that’s usually what it takes.
Feelings pay themselves back, with interest.
But, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, til you can get to a place to handle them safely or skilfully.
(Particularly when you’re like 15, with no known supports or ways to deal with any of it.)
This is what Billie should say: “Howard, I want to tell you something. Across the hall, there is a dorm which Sam stays in. If you want to see topless women, go there.” Then she would effectively get rid of Howard
Kickstarter book? Carla on the cover? CARLA MAGNET? YES PLEASE
I’unno. Still think there should be more terrified Mary on that cover. I can see her peeking out of the door of her room, but that’s just not enough for me.
Something is seriously wrong with this kid. I’m just not sure what.
He’s totally trying really hard to pretend everything is fine though.
It’s definitely abuse
Meredith, huh? I actually had to look up her tag to see if she’d made appearances before now.
I think she might be up there on the list of the most obscure Walkyverse import characters.
Folks who recall early-mid Shortpacked! might remember her.
(SPOILERS)
She stole Amber’s boyfriend.
(/END SPOILERS)
Ok this kid is rapidly challenging Robyn for title of most annoying character…well ok thats not going to happen but he definitely has taken second spot over Becky and even if, as it seems likely, his behaviour is due to abuse at home its still no excuse to be going into other peoples rooms and messing with their stuff
I mean, that’s how Ruth and Billie met, so there’s another familial resemblance?
Not a good example for Howard to be following as their relationship is pretty damn toxic
True, and his other major relationship model is Clint. And, all the super messed-up relationships in GoT, I guess. He probably won’t be dating for a bit longer, but dang, I hope he finds himself some healthier examples before then.
Yeah its not looking good for the kid
Now that we know Clint’s name, can we not call him “Sir?” It just feels like giving him respect that he doesn’t deserve. Would anyone call Blaine “Sir,” knowing what we know about him? Would anyone call ToeDad, er Ross, “Sir?” Even if “Sir Gramps” is now canon in-strip, does that mean we have to follow suit?
I’m not going to try to make “Abusey McAbuseface” happen, but “Sir?” Jeez.
I think the idea is that using his name…. “humanizes” him somehow? Where a title can easily be shifted from a show of respect into a snide remark with just a tonal shift.
Which might be difficult to show over text. That is a good point.
I suppose we could all just agree to call him ChinGramps. To go with ToeDad (Ross) …and Apparently Officially AssDad (Blaine)
We DO need a nickname, of some sort. That’s what we do, here. We CAN’T call him Clint.
I call him Mr. Hughes, though I might lop the “Mr.” part off that.
Hey now Lt. Col. Hughes was a loving father.
But yeah he needs a less humanizing also less respectful name. And not only because Sir’s what I call my husband.
It depends on perspective. To mind mind, using ‘Sir’ to talk about a person implies you are talking about an asshole who expects you to do as he says no matter what. Because ‘Sir’ is an enforced term of respect that belongs into military hierarchy and shouldn’t have a place in civilian life, let alone a family.
That’s how I use it. Sir Grandpa is the most cutting thing I can think of saying about him, and the most fitting and memorable. I’m glad Billie shares my opinion.
I call him “Sir” out of disrespect. The quotation marks are a reminder that it’s a mockery of a respect and authority he doesn’t deserve and only have because of him going out of his way to bully teenagers.
He could have been “Gramps” or “Grand-dad” or “Clint” or even “mr Hughes” to Ruth. He’s not. When her parents died, he could have welcomed her, he could have comforted her and built the foundation of a relationship and thereby earnt respect and maybe even love. He did not.
He does not deserve something as humanising as a name. All he is is “Sir”.
(That’s why I call him “Sir”. I don’t have any opinions on what you or anyone else call him.)
Grand Dad?
Clint gives him far more respect–that of a human being–and besmirches a decent name.
I’ve hoped we’d come up with some pejorative to call him (like ToeDad), but, until then, “Sir” with sarcasm quotes is good enough for me.
I did come up with Terri-dad for a certain other abusive father. But it hasn’t caught on. Then again, we’ve not needed to talk about him much.
We could call him Chin Gramps.
I like when everyone calls him different things. It’s fun to see him disrespected him in exciting new ways.
Sal was right, cathartic nicknames are fun! 😀
‘Grampa Clint’ is a warm and friendly guy.
‘Sir’ is a monster.
Mend didn’t stick. Nothing is helping. Can’t de-escalate and keep getting angrier. Saying shit I don’t even mean, now. Just want to apologise and be believed, for once…
I’m sorry to hear things aren’t well. It might be a good idea to get a little distance – go for a walk maybe? Do you have a friend you can stay with for the night? It’d also be a good idea to search for a psychiatrist, as they may be better equipped to help you.
Here’s the crisis text line if you need it: http://www.crisistextline.org/get-help-now/
No friends, except one in the next town over. That’s a 30-minute drive in good conditions, though. Girlfriend is in that town, too, so I’m okay to stay home tonight. Not sure if this is a crisis, either. Just a horrible headspace that’s easier and easier to get into. A walk might be good. Sorry for continuing to dump this in the comments, not sure why that keeps happening.
You don’t have to be at a particular crisis level to call, there’s no minimum requirement or anything, feel free to just go for it if you want to.
Okay, my mistake, I was under the impression you were with someone in the same building and the situation was worsening, which is why I suggested finding another place to sleep.
As for the crisis line, if it gets to the point you were at the other night, where you felt like you didn’t deserve to live, absolutely call them. Even if they’re not able to help, they may be able to point you towards a place that can.
Yeah, sometimes getting some mental distance is helpful. Try to avoid thinking about the situation for a while – anytime you catch yourself, force yourself to think about something you like or makes you happy. Go for that walk. Lose yourself in mindless tv or an archive binge for the comic or something until you’ve cleared your head.
No, no, don’t mind. As brethren we feel need to help you.
Maybe try to shower. I would use stuff with tea oil in it, it really clears the head if you use hot water. If you still can’t clear your head, call a crisis center or counselor. *Sympathy and MooseHugs*
You may be stuck in a harmful pattern of behaviour. What can you do to interrput the pattern? I like BBCC’s idea of taking a walk or hanging out with the crisis call center folks. If that doesn’t work for you, maybe a shower or bath? What else can you do to interrupt this spiral?
Just keep your distance for a bit, and try and see if you can plan to meet her somewhere to apologize. Just stay calm, don’t grow angry. The anger and depression clouds your mind, do try and distract yourself with television or a hobby. Maybe seek counseling, they can help you. I wish you luck, and hope that you can fix things
Okay, I don’t know all the details of your situation so I’m gonna go from the ones I’ve been in:
Sounds like you want to apologize, you want to be forgiven and have this fixed and resolved, ASAP. However, what you want (need) does not and cannot trump or override what they want right now, which is likely to be left alone. You may need to suck this up, stop trying to force resolution and/or absolution, and accept that you may never get it. Until and unless they open the dialogue with you – which may never happen – you’re just going to have to bear this.
Counselling is the word of the day, it seems. She said I need anger management counselling, and that seems like a reasonable thing. The problem is availability and a history of lashing out at people I perceive to be judging me for making use of the service they provide, especially counselors. A solid peer group would probably be better, at least until I felt confident enough to try a professional. The problem with that is, my peers consist of my two siblings, my brother’s housemate (who I do consider a friend, but is inextricable from said brother), and my girlfriend. I had “the guys” for the last several years, but that ended in November when I had a falling out with my then-best friend. He tried to reach out and reconcile the other day, but that’s not happening. This is starting to get too personal. The short of it is, a professional would be ideal, but that dynamic has proven unstable in the past, and I can’t turn to my peer group since I effectively have none. A hobby might be the only remaining option.
This Gravatar change is starting to feel more and more fitting by the day.
Try tea oil! Put it on a wash cloth or get tea tree body wash. It really helps calm you down
I should clarify that getting into a calm state is relatively easy, but getting launched from calm to wall-headbuttingly furious is just as easy, and is what I’ve been told needs to change. My moods can be…delicate, sometimes.
Maybe try watching something violent? Or punch a punching bag. You need a way to channel that anger away from relationships…
Hmmmnn
Oh, a punching bag would be so nice. For now, all I’ve got is video games.
Try something like a combat based game, little campaign, mostly fighting. Maybe Mortal Kombat?
Further anger-release gaming suggestions: what are commonly called ARPGs, aka Diablo-likes – something like the Diablo series itself, Titan Quest, Grim Dawn. Make an in-your-face character (no summoning) and just wreck some monster faces up close and personal.
The closest I have to a Diablo-like is probably Borderlands 2, or maybe HALO Wars. Those might work. For fighting games, well… I have Dragon Ball Xenoverse, if that even counts.
You could look into seeing who offers group therapy? Like calling up and going ‘Hey, I’m interested in anger management therapy in a group setting, do you do that?’ And if they say yes, ask if you can sit in for a session to get a feel for how they approach it and how the group in general works. Even if you end up not liking that particular counselor, other people in the group might still be able to give you tips and advice that could help.
Wouldn’t that require interacting with other people who also have anger issues?
Yes. This probably will not be easy, but you can do it.
I might try it, if I can find anything and if it’s not overly expensive. Also, I’d have to look into the other participants, because there’s always that one attention-lover who does their best to take advantage of the group therapy and make it the “Me Show, featuring These Other People”. At least, that’s how it goes around here, and I’m usually too quiet and anxious IRL to say anything about it.
Very true — You’ve hit on a major part of learning how to *lead* a group. The facilitator will try to make sure they’re handling Mr Attention Guy so that everyone gets a chance to talk, too. It sounds like you’ve got enough to handle without having to run the group yourself.
The crisis line might know cheap-or-free groups in your area. If you live in a city, you may even find groups related to more specific anger-inducing issues if any seem relevant to you (such as relationship abuse prevention, PTSD, illnesses, alcohol, etc.)
Even when the group isn’t perfect, I hope that you’ll get all you can from it anyway.
Will you keep us updated?
Good luck!!
I will definitely keep you folks updated if/when I find something. Thank you.
Counseling is very likely going to be worth it, even if that has not worked in the past. Think of it this way, something very bad has gone wrong and that has ended up severely hurting someone you care about and possibly fatally ruining a positive relationship in your life. That is worth fixing no matter what, so that very bad thing doesn’t hurt you and those you care about.
I know that counseling probably seems scary and expensive, but there are sliding scale clinics that are specifically there for those who don’t have much but need help as well as group therapy programs that are sometimes more open and free in cost. While you may have had bad experiences in the past, there are oodles of therapists who are nonjudgmental even about stuff like this and can help you build a better self that is less tempted to take out things on people you care about.
Beyond that, please stay safe, but also understand that your girlfriend may end up no longer wanting to see you or try and repair a relationship and that is okay. You getting better shouldn’t feel contingent on her getting back together with you and this is something you need to spend lots of effort fixing even if she decides to give you another chance.
And you will need to fix this no matter what. Treat it like shoddy brakes. You can try and drive around on it, but it’ll be dangerous for you and those closest to you. Believe in yourself and your ability to be a better version of yourself so that you never again repeat the harmful patterns that happened in this relationship including the escalation to emotional abuse when called out.
You are not worthless, you do deserve to live, and you can get better. But it’ll take hard work. And we believe you can accomplish that hard work and support you in that goal.
*supportive hug*
Hi, I was looking for you under today’s strip. What’s up?
Yeah I get it Howard. I want to distract myself from life’s tribulations too, but with Netflix instead of pseudo-porn.
there’s also tons of pseudo/softcore porn on Netflix, so you can combine the hobbies like a fusion
Has no one told Howard about the Internet?
If he lives with Clint, there may be child controls.
The closest thing to internet in the Clint-house is a smooth rock he can cradle, pretending it’s a boob.
The closest thing to joy in the Clint-house is the same rock.
The closest thing to bringing joy, or the closest thing TO ACHIEVE a joyful state?
The closest thing to joy itself, as an abstract concept.
There was no talking. There was no smiling. There were only rocks.
You mean, growing up at Clint’s had the unspoken implication that you shale not be happy?
so, they live on a rock farm?
Finally, you can take a good harvest for granite.
That was pretty schisty.
Not gneiss at all.
Aww. I thought it was marble-ous, myself.
Is it sad that this is what I’m doing over spring break? Nothing fun, other than me writing my novel. I just wait here until like 1 AM where I live and comment
Writing a novel sounds like a better and more fun use of spring break then spending the whole time wasted. But maybe I’m just terribly old for saying that.
True. That’s why I said it was fun. All else I have is school projects and commenting though
…I kind of understand where everyone who undoubtedly picks on this kid is coming from.
…You do realize that someone being obviously “weird”, “off”, “having something wrong with their head”, “completely socially clueless”, “really out of it” is not actually a working justification/reason/whatever to hurt them, right? Like… that’s not how human interaction works. That’s how ableism works. And reinforcing abuse.
Oddly enough, the only thing that I can think right now is to ask: “Just how many TV stations do they get at their grandfather’s house?” The answer could be more or less; Howie could be wanting to catch up with his favourite serials or he could be looking for the rumoured Promised Land.
I’m gonna say less. He strikes me as the type who protests nudity in television
To answer your question Billie, Howard was brought along to remind Ruth that if she steps out of line Howard will suffer for it. Sir is using him as a psychological weapon against her, and him being the TV obsessed fool that he is, he doesn’t realize a thing.
As a side note though Howard seems like he’s got some mental issues, he’s barely able to hold a conversation because of his obsession with game of thrones and TV in general… this kid needs some hobbies that aren’t TV, ANY hobbies that aren’t TV.
But yeah Howard being here is just more proof of how shitty Sir is, he pulled Howard out of school and dragged him down here just to dangle him in front of Ruth to fuck with her emotions. Fuck this guy
I dunno, I actually note I think there’s a serious problem on Ruth and Billie’s end. They’re totally shutting him out of the story and basically ignore him completely. When he wants to talk about his show, they just drill him out and talk over him. Certainly, Game of Thrones is more important than drinking and they haven’t talked about any of their own issues. When they actually discussed Ruth’s bisexuality with Howard, he was receptive and introspective–but they don’t care about him save in the abstract. He’s not a person to them–just a responsibility.
Though at the time neither was in a good mental state at all, right on the edge of spiralling down into alcoholic lesbian suicide pact.
Him being here is probably a reminder to Ruth, that’s a good thought.
I still think he’s suffering already and the TV obsession is a sign of it. When you’ve got a known abusive household and kid showing really weird behavior, don’t just assume the kid’s weird all on his own.
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/powercontrolwheelnoshading.pdf
“Using children” would complete the clean sweep of “sir”‘s abusive behaviors and is very much what he’s been doing with Howie whether or not he is also abusing Howie.
Dang this week NSFW image.
Alos, Howard is totally the kid from Girls with slingshots !
Billie looks super-happy, and it makes me happy by solidarity.
I don’t have a slipshine account, and from the cropped image I thought it was Becky and Dina (redhead + asian girl), and I was like “whaaat? we don’t even know if they’ll sleep together yet”. Thanks for clearing this.
Uh… I don’t have slipshine, either, so I could be wrong. But that doesn’t look like Dina to me, nor does the red look like Becky-red.
Nah, that’s Billie and Ruth. Dina’s face is thinner, her skin’s a few shades darker, she doesn’t have the rosy cheeks, and Becky is both paler and her hair is brighter and shorter.
If it were Becky and Dina, though, we could take their appearance in Welcome to the Fuck Zone as confirmation they’re screwing.
* dina does have a blushy face never mind.
You know, normally as a human being with sexuality, I feel some urge to see the NSFW content. Today no. I just want to let them have that moment in privacy.
Wait, do Howard’s glasses not have earpieces? Are they glued on? Or is he using The Force?
Yes.
How old is Howard anyway? I’m thinking 13-15 years.
Howard is 25 years old, and he’ll be sticking to that story for the next 10 years.
Old enough to have a driver’s license. Sixteen?
I’ve got a bad feeling that Clint is planning on just dumping Howard at IU and telling Ruth that he has no interest in caring for anyone sired by his son-in-law any further. Naturally, he won’t be able to resist telling Ruth that her break-down was the last straw and that she had used up the last favour he was willing to do for her when he ‘fixed’ her employment issues.
Pretty sure he’s too young to be “dumped” without breaking some child abuse/neglect laws.
That would be the case if it were not a fact that Ruth is a legal adult and, at least in the abstract realm of law, an alternative adult carer.
Except for the fact that he can’t actually dump Howard on her while she’s living at IU, since he can’t stay in the dorms. And since he’s just gone to all this trouble to make her keep the job and thus stay in the dorms it doesn’t make any sense to then force her to drop out to take care of Howard.
I’m also pretty sure that it’s not that easy for a legal guardian to dump responsibility for a younger child onto an adult sibling. Nor, given every thing we’ve seen of Clint, is he going to give up control of either Ruth or Howard.
Nah, if Grandpa is Howard’s legal guardian (which I think he is) than they have to wait till Howard is 18 for Grandpa to just kinda throw him at Ruth like you’re suggesting.
Yea Billy for deliberately calm and helpful act. It’s pretty obvious that Howard has been mistreated and socially deprived. And he may be on the autism spectrum in some way.
Is it just me or does this comic page make Howard look more like a kid and less like a teenager compared to his other appearances?
I don’t know, but now that you mention it, I’m curious.
Heightwise, per panel two, I think he’s kneeling on an ottoman or something, not standing up. Other strips with him standing near Billie and Ruth are of someone closer to their height.
Framewise, he’s always been drawn as a thin guy. Billie is 18, cheerleader-tall and curvy, and Ruth is 20, and a 16-y.o. boy, so that sorta lines up.
Your right his kneeling posture contributes to it. I think I misremembered his other strips a bit. When he’s actually conversing with Ruth and Billie not in a panic he seems older to me then when he’d hiding from the world clutching a television.
Have you tried looking in a mirror?
Here is your chance Billie!!! Flash your melons and he will reveal all secrets as if it were Jedi mind tricks!
These aren’t the channels you are looking for
still 16. I think the police would have something to say about htat.
Sixteen’s legal in Indiana. And if you think 16 year olds and 18 year olds aren’t doing it regularly pretty much everywhere, you’re very naive.
It’s 16 in much of the country and where it isn’t there’s often a close-in-age exemption which Billie would fall under.
she’s eighteen?
.Anyway, you cannot honestly tell me that age of consent laws or not, Howard is emotionally ready to actually see boobies. Also, he looks way younger than that
Really? In California it’s eighteen. You know in Japan their is no age?
That’s not true. It’s really young, but there is an age of consent. Lowest I’ve heard of in regional laws is 14
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent#By_country_or_region
Submitted without comment
Psst, Howard, head down the hall to the BOY’S rooms. If anyone’s found a way to access the porn channels, it’d be them.
Go to Joe
Joe would totally be an evil mentor about this. Quite honestly, Joe might be the only non-family who could tolerate him
Joe will introduce him to Transformers, and then they’ll be best friends. Now about introducing Howie to Mike, we might wanna postpone that.
about introducing anyone to Mike, same thing
Unleash him on Clint and watch the fireworks.
Oh my God! Imagine telling Mike to beat up “sir.” That would be amazing. Mike probably doesn’t been need to really punch him
If nothing else, he can watch Star Trek.
Say what you want about Howard, at least he’s true to himself.
Whatever the hell that self may be.
People are a bit harsh on Howard I feel. I mean he’s what 15? 16? I think he’s aware there’s something potentially wrong with the ‘Sir’/Ruth thing but it’s probably more a subconscious thing that makes him uncomfortable- and so he runs to his shows. I mean really, anyway, wtf is an utterly financially dependent minor going to be able to do anyway even if he’s aware of what he’s emotionally running from? He rocks the boat he’s even more at risk then Ruth is. He rocks the boat and Ruth probably gets in more hot water. (Which is kind of why I was wincing a bit at the Billie thing honestly, while not her fault, I feel like while in the short term Ruth may have been saved by her stepping in but in the long term… I’m worried of the consequences and her grandfather’s actions).
Howard’s a freaking child who lives with the guy. Alone most likely. He probably can’t move in with Ruth and she couldn’t financially support him even if he could. And children are considered ‘property’ by US law. And “Sir” almost certainly sees it that way.
Hell from what I remember from his last visit he was so young when their parents died he barely remembers Canada/held no feelings of attachment to the country unlike Ruth who is 4-5 years his senior. This is possibly basically all he remembers. It’s how life works. He can’t do anything with reality. Let’s go to fiction.
The accident happened four years ago, so he was twelve. Which is young, yes, but not so young that he can’t remember what life was like before (even if Ruth thinks he was too young to “appreciate” Canada). He’s still stuck with it for the moment, though.
Especially since the odds are good that Clint isn’t treating “The Boy” much better than he treats Ruth. Howard’s got to survive it.
As you say, retreating into fiction is a valid way to cope for the short term.
That said, I predict we’ll see something serious from Howard before the end of this visit. We got a little glimpse at the end of his previous appearance.
retreating into porn more like it. He doesn’t sound like he’s in it for the complex political machinations and complicated backstory. Sounds like some schoolmates just told him that the glorious unseeable holy grail that is the female nipple in the teenage mind could be glimpsed on that show.
I don’t think Howard knows Ruth was hospitalized. Which, bluntly, Billie isn’t taking time to mention.
She’s probably just figured out he doesn’t know, and to be honest, it’s not really her place to tell him. That decision should rest with Ruth.
Also, on the flip side of “Howie should definitely be informed,” my relationship with my then-15-year-old sister was negatively affected by learning about my mental illness because she wasn’t quite ready to handle it. We don’t entirely know Howie well enough to predict how he might react.
How Howie might react/whether he’s mature enough to handle the knowledge aside, if he does find out, it should be from Ruth herself (or someone that Ruth has given permission to tell Howie about it). She should get to decide when/if Howie finds out in general, but especially now, when so much has been taken out of her control in such a short time.
My god man, stop that. You’re embarassing the human race with 24/7 infantile horniness. The internet exists you idiot. Go get some relief and don’t come back until you can be a functioning human being.
Hes a kid so I can cut him some slack on the horniness scale but its the going into other peoples spaces thats not good
I’m hoping he was so anxious to avoid Clint and Ruth coming out of that office that he just automatically went into whatever dark room was closest and started looking for HBO.
I’d guess he was looking for Ruth’s room, but found this one with the door unlocked instead, saw the TV and decided to check it out.
Certainly uncool, but not really a monster. Especially when it’s all tied up with having had to deal with Clint for the ride up and worrying about his sister and trying not to let any of it show.
yep and then he just checked out of reality bc wow his reality does not deserve staying aware of
Yeah hes not a monster just an annoying kid with, probably, some issues arising from his home life but still to me the issue is going into a strangers room looking for boobies
If he did see boobies and no one was around…well nature would probably take its course and I’m pretty sure Meredith would not be very happy with the realization that a teenage boy had defiled her room
I’m wondering if he was even thinking about what room this was – sometimes when I get upset, I just grab a book and start reading or drop into headcanon/fanfic land and don’t really think about where I am while I do that. If Howie just surged for the closest tv, he might not have thought about whose room this is.
Guess we won’t find out until the next strip is up I guess, its almost as if the creator deliberately makes most strips cliff hangers…Naah
I was a horny little kid at that age, but this is ridicuolus
I somehow suspect he’s not allowed access to the internet. At least not unfiltered and/or supervised. He’s not allowed to watch Game of Thrones, IIRC.
yeah, I sorta saw people saying that elsewhere once I calmed down. He was just getting my goat pretty bad earlier
Tell him you can find that shit in the woods if you find any kind of crap structure there.
I think I get what is the deal with Howard… he has been trying so hard to escape awful reality for so long that he is permanently stuck in his “happy place”…
I have seen it in real life, down to the older sibling being neurotic and suicidal and the younger sibling learning to avoid reality…
I have this thing where books make me dissociate really easily, both while I’m reading and while I’m in the middle of them but actually doing other things. My thoughts just slide into them and I start losing time for minutes at a time. My mood, my view of reality, literally everything becomes entirely disconnected with like… recent memories, plans, ideas, etc and matches the book’s narration.
I know exactly when it developed and a coping mechanism for WHAT it was. It’s how I avoided suicidal depression in my tween years – and trust me, I came close enough that I know how close I cut it. Looking back… seriously, I only made it through by letting my entire headspace be blanked out by books and what happened in them.
I look at Howard, and… yeah. At best, he knows exactly how bad the Grandpa/Ruth thing is and is desperately avoiding the topic. At worst, this is the only respite he gets from his own 24/7 shower of bullshit – that Sir Gramps probably makes him think he deserves, too.
Being able to disassociate into books was what helped me survive a childhood filled with suicidal dysphoria too. So yeah, I’m really grateful for them as a coping strategy.
The sheer amount of people insulting Howard is getting kinda freaky, rearing into malicious misinterpretation. Like we knew Clint and Ross were gonna be abusive going in with rapidly decreasing room for error up until outright confirmation of horribleness. But here, Howard’s been in, what, two strips this whole arc? And theres his legit desperation in his face, the lighting in this scene, his posture; there’s definitely more going on here, yet 80% of you are either condescending him, demonizing his surface level behavior or some combination of the two.
Where’s the nuanced conversation that was here, what, three days ago? At least wait to see where this goes before you gang up on the kid, jeez
I’d like to apologize for my part in that. I was just getting annoyed because he was starting to look like a caricature of teenage boys, but if there’s legit reasons behind it, it’s not so bad.
That said, he’s still kinda annoying in the way many chirpy little kids are.
also, he dresses like a dork so much that i think Clint controls his wardrobe too
Hes gone into a strangers room, is looking for boobies and hes a horny teenage boy so if he sees boobies and no ones around I don’t think its that big a jump to suggest that hes going to indulge in a little five knuckle shuffle
Not speaking from personal experience of course
Yeah, I really doubt it. In someone else’s room? Standing there with the door open and him visible from the hall?
I think that’s a pretty big jump.
Even if I didn’t think the TV & boobies were only a cover for what’s really racing through his mind: “Oh god what’s he going to do to Ruth? Is she going to be alright? Oh god, I’ve got to go back with him. Is he going to be mad from this trip?”
I actually don’t think he’s thinking that. I think his defense mechanisms are well and truly practiced, so it’s more like ‘Ruth she’s talking about Ruth TV GAME OF THRONES I WANNA FIND GAME OF THRONES what is she talking about oh Ruth OH HEY BOOBIES EXIST I CAN THINK ABOUT BOOBIES’
When all the blood rushes from the big head to the small head bad decisions are made.
I mean if hes alone and he finally sees boobies what do you think hes going to do, just sit there and gaze at boobies?
Hes already made the decision to go into a strangers room so add the feeling of being somewhere where he knows he shouldn’t be to finally seeing some boobies and well…
She canna take anymore Captain, shes gonna blow!
I think you’re just noticing the haters more, there aren’t actually that many people hating on Howie here
(I say this as a person who’s bothered to reply to most of their bullshit)
eh, i’m about as annoyed at the haters as I am the people reducing this whole situation to “there goes Howard, off to get his prepubescent rocks off” and “doesn’t this kid know what an internet is?”. Like he’s just using the situation as an excuse to get off instead of, i’dunno, isolating himself into something familiar? I put that under “condescending him” in my original schpeal. I’m glad to see at least some people taking the time to talk about him legitimately, but the overarching conversation buzzing about seems apathetic at best and that’s worrisome to me.
While its fun to speculate on the reasons why the characters act the way they do and you are probably right about Howard but at the moment he’s acting like a boobie obsessed little horn dog
I’m sure once more of his back story is revealed the attitudes towards will change, for the better
It’s particularly annoying since we just went through this whole thing with Ruth and Clint and “He’s just strict” and abuse denial and now we’re looking at Howard and getting more hints and red flags that he’s a victim too and we’re seeing all the same “Can’t be sure” claims, with even stronger victim blaming this time.
When you’ve got a parental figure known to be abusive to one kid and you’ve got another presenting weird obsessive behavior patterns, don’t assume there’s nothing bad going on and the kid’s just a perverted, oblivious idiot. Please.
That is all true and, being what this strip is about, likely correct but you can only comment on what you see at this point in time
While in Howard’s case, we haven’t seen him describe his home life , his feelings about Shit Grandpa or how he’s treated the way we have with Ruth, this isn’t a court of law, so yes, you absolutely can comment on more than what is unmistakably true.
Is Howard a horny teenager? Clearly.
Is it very inappropriate for him to enter other people’s rooms and use their stuff without their permission or even their knowledge? Absolutely.
Is it crazy to think that he might be acting this way not because he simply does not respect other people’s privacy or property, but because he’s probably been abused, and may just be that desperate for a way to mentally not be here right now?
No, because there’s a lot of context and subtle cues that would support that theory.
Would that make this behavior acceptable? No. But it would strongly suggest that this behavior isn’t a result of him being a lecherous pervert, who will start jacking off the moment his search for boobies succeeds, but rather a kid doing something stupid because he’s desperate and doesn’t know what else to do.
Yeah I agree that is probably the case, in fact I’d probably put money on it but at the moment all I’m commenting is what I’m seeing him doing now.
There are certainly red flags sticking up and it’ll likely be seen that he’s been abused but at the moment, to me, he’s acting like an inappropriate little horn dog
Just like we couldn’t actually say that Clint was abusive until he started yelling at Ruth, despite every red flag and every reason to think so. We hadn’t seen it.
Just like in real life, we can’t actually believe a parent is abusive until they do something in front of us, despite all the red flags the kid is showing. We haven’t seen it.
As spectators it sucks, in real life something can be said/done but here we can only watch and comment
Howard no one’s got money for extra channels
More a matter of the campus dorms having a limited cable TV system.
Comic Reactions:
Okay, I get so many red flags from this kid. Like, he came and visited with “sir” and Ruth and acted absolutely normally and “oblivious” before, but he immediately scarped off the second Ruth went inside and it feels likely it’s because he recognized that “sir” would be angry and violent when he exited with her and didn’t want to be anywhere near by.
And that feels supported by him being non-responsive to Billie’s queries for him and hiding in a darkened room. I dunno, it could just be the parallels with Ruth’s murder cave, but if he was just an idiot horny teenager, I don’t see why he wouldn’t kick on the lights to better see what he is doing.
Especially as he seems to be fully disassociating into the task of finding Game of Thrones, not responding to Billie’s initial soft questions and only turning and answering when she gets more firm and repeats his name (i.e. when the question is presented slightly more “sir” like rather than in a nurturing manner). And even then, his response almost feels highly defensive. Like, not only denying, but asking why even they would bring her home and his eyebrows the entire time look increasingly sad as the conversation goes on.
And that last panel… like he’s hiding in Meredith’s room instead of Ruth’s room, which he already knows would afford him privacy and would mean not getting into as much trouble trying to mess with her TV. A complete stranger’s room with the lights turned out. Which doesn’t make sense unless it’s because he’d be expected in Ruth’s room and more easily findable.
And it feels deliberate, like this was an intentional attempt to hide and I strongly suspect this has been his main coping strategy for “sir”‘s rages, holing up in a dark room he isn’t expected in and trying to wait it out until “sir” either calms down or storms off somewhere. And trying to disassociate into a task when it’s happening as well.
And his face seems haunted. Like, that’s not a teenage boy sad he’s not seeing boobies, though the fact that he knows to consistently perform that makes me think he’s been sneered at by “sir” for “not being enough of a man”. Almost like he was trying to disassociate into his “Game of Thrones” task and Billie interrupted it by insisting on a response and uncovering the oddness of his presence in this room.
Like it almost feels like a kid scared and sad because their security blanket was ripped off their head when they were trying to hide.
I dunno I’m thinking more and more that despite his protestations to the contrary and his performance of “idiot teenage straight boy”*, that he’s well aware of the man his grandpa his and is very much being abused. And “Game of Thrones” is his disassociating strategy. Not even the finding of it, but the looking for it, making it into a quest he can put all his focus into.
*I’m reminded of him dropping the mask for a second to ask Billie to be good to Ruth right before he had to drive back to “sir”:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/carmel/
Also… two minor things that are niggling me more and more about Howie. One, that his quest for “Game of Thrones” is completely disconnected from anything else about it. Like, he doesn’t mention actors or characters he really likes or uses plotlines to describe what’s going on like an obsessed fan would and searches for it without any awareness of TV schedules or show times and doesn’t get angtsy about a specific time.
Which is why I’m thinking more and more it’s the quest for “Game of Thrones” that is the disassociation strategy rather than the show itself. It’s something hard and very likely fruitless that he can devote all his mental and emotional energy into instead of existing in the present when his present gets too hard to bear.
And I’m also unable to overlook Howie’s military-style haircut, buzzed on the side, flat-top up top. The style common back in the 50s and 60s. Like, there’s no way that Howie chose that hair style for himself. That hair style very likely gets him made fun of at school. And it’s very clear that it’s “sir” having very specific attitudes as to Howie’s hair and behavior based on his strict style.
And that makes me feel lots of feelings, because having autonomy and control over hair and having to fight an oft-losing battle on that front against familial pressure was a large part of my coming of age.
Also, last final point, which is, I don’t get this “teenage boy stereotype”. Like I get the idea behind it, but I have no emotional connections to it being trans and ace. Like, I was expected to be this. Was beaten regularly by my peers for not being this.
But it’s still alien and weird and I share a lot of the other commenters feeling of “stop being a perv and touching another girl’s stuff without permission” even while I recognize and empathize with it being a coping strategy.
I dunno, I can empathize with using it as a mask to protect oneself. Like, I was never willing/able to master that one, but I understand the immense pressure to learn how to fake it really fucking quick.
As a formerly idiot horny teenager I can say the reason you don’t put the lights on is because it brings more attention to what you’re doing and I’m guessing Sir has probably made it quite clear what he thinks about that type of thing also considering Howard is where he knows he shouldn’t be so hes probably trying to a low profile
Why he didn’t close the door though is beyond me…maybe not allowed to close his bedroom door at home?
Honestly, a lot of the children my best friend worked with, especially teenagers, had a kind of artificial world they could retreat into. Game of Thrones is probably something DEEPLY important to Howard because it’s a place where he can live. J Rowling had plenty of letters from abused kids who desperately wished they could go to Hogwarts, there’s people who wanted to become Avatar characters, and also those who stick to Narnia like it’s more real to them than their real lives. Westeros is probably the same thing for Howard. I do think, though, Billie thinks Howard is more aware of what’s going on than he is. I also think she and Ruth dismiss him versus talking to him which is a shame.
I don’t really see Ruth or Billie dismissing Howard. Until recently, he’d only appeared in 12 strips, many of which involved standing in the background because Blaine had just shown up, and even then, both Billie and Ruth had conversations with him.
The closest to dismissing him either of the come is Ruth having a small disagreement with him about why he doesn’t miss Canada as much as she does.
His expression in the last panel really does feel too sad and not frustrated enough for it to be completely explained by disappointment at not finding boobs on TV.
It also feels much too desperate for it so simply be escapism. If he was just a massive nerd seeking relief from awkward boredom, you’d think he would’ve brought a book or something with him, unless he for some reason was forbidden to do so.
Billie: “Dammit Howard, pay attention and answer my questions and you can see my boobies, okay?!”
Howie: “Y-y-yes ma’am! At your service!”