“I have failed the federation,” he forlornly sighs to himself while watching a montage of Piccard’s best speeches.
“The first duty of an of every StarFleet officer has always been to not allow people to bone each other,” thunders Piccard.
“How right you are, Captain,” he sobs and wipes his tears with the star trek hat.
For all I know, your episode was caused by your R.A duties but, I have unestablished and at this point irrelevant motives for you to keep this job but, your keeping this job and that’s final
Where do you think all the concern trolls go when there AREN’T abusive parents and/or guardians in the daily strip to breathlessly rush to the defense of?
(I’m just kidding, I know they pour in from 8chan. That’s the hip new BBS popular with all the up and coming fascists, right?)
Hi there, not a concern troll, agreeing that this is significantly better evidence that asshole grandpa, is, in fact, an asshole grandpa. Because now we have first-hand evidence.
You would have called me a concern troll yesterday without really understanding where I was coming from, I think. Hopefully you won’t today?
Look, internet memes peaked with Mr. T Ate My Balls, and Impact is the new Comic Sans. Also Polandball is just plain stupid. I really just don’t get imageboard culture.
If I may: Culture isn’t a thing you “get”. Culture is a thing that *is*, that other people either get dragged into, beaten down by, or have to work around.
It’s a rare few who actually benefit from any evolving culture whatsoever, and within each one, rarer still the ones who can hammer and forge it into something that *many* people will benefit from.
At all other times, to all other people, culture is a bus you get thrown under, or wind up being very disruptive on.
Is this, like…an automated bot response to someone using the word “culture”? An internet community, especially that internet community, doesn’t merit such a defense.
Also that entire response was a goofy deflection, because arguing with the sort of person who willfully ignored all the arguments against them yesterday would be a waste of time.
To be totally honest, I’m not even sure why they read a comic like this when clearly it’s not the one they want, what with the awful bigots always turning out to really be awful bigots.
Because they enjoy being jerks to everyone. It only takes one of them to actually read the comic, anyways. Then they go tell their friends.
There’s a message board I frequent where there’s another board on another site specifically devoted to this sort of thing. And the people on the first board just keep falling for it.
There is a simple algorithm to determine if a parental figure in this comic is an asshole parent. 1) Is David Willis the author? If yes, 2) Is the parental figure supposed to represent Willis’s parents? If yes, congratulations, you have confirmed that this parental figure is an asshole parent.
Or you coild look to see if the parental figure does something an asshole would do. Has everyone just forgotten about the phone call Ruth got way back when?
Yeah, I don’t know if it’s the framing of the comic, but I feel like Clint acting like that should be a warning sign?
But then again, abusers are generally p good at saving face in front of other people, so maybe he spent an hour or so schmoozing? Dropping in half-truths, untruths, and some well-picked truths to convince Chloe this was for the best?
Then again, maybe we’ll see something in the next strip so we can see Chloe’s reaction.
wait, sorry, got confused there — I’m Canadian, and thus saw “What will we do for timber wolves?” as what Canadians might do to help the furry fellas rather than Americans worrying about their supply of wolves.
And wanted by the International Court of Justice for causing war crimes. It’s why he can’t go to countries like, for example Spain. Because they would arrest him so he could be transferred to The Hague and tried for actions that he either directly ordered or was complicit in. It’s also, why he won’t leave the country. Bush junior is also wanted, but not for as many things because a lot of people are pretty sure that Cheney was the man really in charge, using Bush as a puppet. That fact that Bush junior is, or has done a very good job of playing up the role of, a complete idiot and also once nearly choked to death on pretzel really helps make that idea more credible.
He seems to be stern and stubborn with an intended path for his daughter to follow yet not entirely unthinking or unreasonable. That said Tywin of Game of Thrones was like this and he was a terrible father. But this guy doesn’t have the whole feudal system to concern themselves with and hatred of a child who killed their mother in child birth to hold him down to being a terrible father.
He’s Ruth’s grandfather, not her father. Ruth’s parents died in a car accident.
Also, I disagree: he IS unreasonable. His granddaughter is clearly expressing that she DOESN’T want to keep her job as an R.A., but he has already decided she will, and so refuses to even let her speak her mind: “You WILL do this.”
…before today I would’ve answered that I’ve never asked anyone to play devil’s advocate in my life; however, this morning I asked my boyfriend to do just that while looking over a friend’s important speech.
Well, they made Mother Theresa a saint. And as far as we know, Clint has never enjoyed seeing poor people suffering and eventually dying, denying them proper care or medicines, so…
A popular title given to one of the most important officers of the Sacred Congregation of Rites, established in 1587, by Sixtus V, to deal juridically with processes of beatification and canonization. His official title is Promoter of the Faith (Promotor Fidei). His duty requires him to prepare in writing all possible arguments, even at times seemingly slight, against the raising of any one to the honours of the altar. The interest and honour of the Church are concerned in preventing any one from receiving those honours whose death is not juridically proved to have been “precious in the sight of God” (see BEATIFICATION and CANONIZATION).
Well, for some reason I never expected an actual religious history behind that expression. I always that it was just…
You know, just what it sounded like: Someone to present the “pros” (as in pro/con) to defend the unpopular, arguably worst and most abhorrent choice for what benefits it does provide. (Also making sense in Law because everybody has a right to a lawyer no matter how bad) This “worst” here would be the Devil, regularly used to symbolize evil.
I just connected the dots without thinking it referred to any specific historical role.
Wait. Avoid canonizing someone “…whose death is not juridically proved to have been ‘precious in the sight of God'”
That is so many kinds of wrong. I don’t even know where to start. God, death, precious, proved, death… canonization… Might as well say “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”
Tbf, I think there was like…a nanosecond before John opened his mouth where we could hope he was maybe less terrible than his mother? “Sir” was very broadly implied to be super fuckin’ abusive long before he made an on-panel appearance.
What a nice grandfather, telling Ruth “you can do it!” when she needs more confidence in herself! He’s really trying to give her a boost and she should appreciate him for it!
…. by which I mean physical-space area of responsibility, because I’m pretty sure that stopping college kids from sexing and making videos of it and posting them online without his consent or preknowledge is NOT part of his official job duties, within his legal powers, or something he’s actually capable of.
It occurred in Joe’s room. So Joe’s RA was formally yelled at for “letting it happen” because ya know, RAs should be spying on all their resident’s booty calls to make sure they aren’t surreptitiously filming a sex tape. Because that’s not at all creepy and invasive.
Honestly, don’t know precisely how Star Trek R.A. could have stopped Joe aside from keeping him under surveillance 24-7 which is both creepy and impossible. And while the fact that he ended the first meeting early in order to watch a Star Trek marathon points to him being incompetent, the guys dorm seems like it’s holding together ok, so maybe he actually is good at his job when not distracted by Star Trek.
Oh, he couldn’t have. But I can definitely see the powers that be deciding to dress him down anyways for it, because Roz’s stunt embarrassed the school and got the Dean involved, so the shit from that was always going to flow downstream to whoever was on the bottom of the ladder.
If they place those monitoring neck thingies that the Doctor from Voyager likes to use on his patients, you could detect the PMHP and prevent it from happening with a couple shots of the off-button hypospray.
Ok, what the hell? Was Voyager (never watched Voyager, or Deep Space Nine for that matter) trying to turn the Federation into some sort of “Big Brother” society? Because it sure as hell sounds like it.
It also had space lizards, time travel, and nearly every episode mashed the magic reset button. There are entire sites devoted to picking every episode of Voyager apart to find every reason Captain Janeway should be court-martialed.
To me, Voyager fills the lighter “let’s stop at a planet and have an adventure” role. DS9 and TNG have much better writing.
For me Voyager is not a BAD show in itself, but it had such promise that it never lived up to that I can never not see it in the shadow of Voyager-that-could-have-been.
Which is a shame, because there is lot’s of it I like, including actors, characters and premise. Janeway, Kes, the Doctor and 7 in particular were AWESOME. If they just had been allowed something useful to do…
I liked VOY solely because the Borg fascinate me (so 7 of 9 is my favourite char). I also liked the Doctor, and thought the space bugs with the bioships (the Borg’s greatest enemies or whatever) were a cool idea. However, I lived in a third world country when VOY was running so I didn’t actually get to watch much of it, so I don’t know about this Marquis thing (or whatever) that makes the characters conveniently forget that some of them hate eachother until random moments near the beginning of the show, nor how they ended up in the Delta Quadrant in the first place, and also the only thing I know about how they got home was some random thing I read (possibly on Memory Alpha) that sounded like it involved a giant magic slingshot.
TL;DR: I think unreliable third world country telly allowed me to miss most of what people hate about VOY. I do know Janeway is the captain I dislike the most (I have not seen whatever the show was with Archer or whatever as the captain)
Many episodes had… unfortunate writing, but then out of nowhere you get episodes like Year of Hell or they let The Doctor have some fun. Or you have characters that are walking TV Tropes pages one episode then the next they get fleshed out a lot more.
Voyager isn’t a bad show overall, but I think DS9 was stronger overall. Hey it managed to stay on the air in traditional ratings death slots for years!
Given how much mind control bullshit every ship seems to suffer in that franchise, having the comp pay attention and look for unusual things just seems common sense.
That’s some “1984”‘totalitarian police state shit right there, and scary as all hell. Did this doctor ever get in trouble for using these things (I never watched Voyager or Deep Space Nine)? Because that’s just unethically. Starting to buy into the theory that the Federation evolved into an evil empire at this point.
The first was just a medical thing so he could release them from Sick Bay while still keeping an eye on the patient’s condition. The second is apparently just something the computer does.
The Doctor was a hologram, he could only materialize where there were holo-emitters (sickbay and the holodeck). He needed some way to track his patients’ condition when they left.
After a few years the writers got tired of that restriction and gave him a mobile emitter from the future so he could go wherever he wanted.
Remember that one episode on TNG where some Federation lawyer tried to claim Data as federation property, but the judge or whoever ruled in his favor because he was fully autonomous and they couldn’t prove organic beings have souls? Maybe that case set prescedence?
Or for that matter, how about the time Data hotwired the Enterprise and took it for a joyride to his dad’s house? (You can make any episode sound ridiculous by summarizing it in one sentence.)
Hey, remember that one movie where it turns out Kirk had a kid and then the guy from “Fantasy Island” kills him and sticks a space bug in Chekhov’s ear?
I thought Bruce Wayne was a Republican, if he was a Democrat, he would spend money on improving Gotham to reduce the crime rates instead of indulging in billion-dollar high-tech ultra-violence while dressed in his fursona costume.
He does. Wayne Industries is single handedly responsible for creating and improving infrastructure around Gotham, particularly for orphans, widows, etc.
Not with his views on gun violence. If he were a Republican, he’d be fighting with AR-15s and Magnums instead of Batarangs. So, you now, like Red Hood. Or Deathstroke. Or Deadeye. At the same time he seems to be a proponent of women’s rights and gender equality (Oracle, Batgirl, and at least one female Robin) and apparently believes criminals/super villains can be reformed and just need help for mental illnesses (the fact that all his villains end up in medical facilities, presumably without life-sentences and the fact that he’s constantly trying to reform them). Honestly, the only thing he really needs to do is set aside some of the Wayne fortune to help contribute to Arkham’s patient care and security (maybe hire a group similiar to Marvel’s Luke Cage Heroes for hire to provide a little extra muscle and stop breakouts) and he could probably solve even more of Gotham’s problems. Bruce Wayne is essentially Lex Luthor’s good counterpart. Although, I’m not sure if we know about his views on gay-marriage, although his cousin is gay and at least has her father’s support, so he might be pro-gay marriage.
Rebuked is a perfectly cromulent, if a bit nonstandard, word in this situation. Reprimanded is the one I would typically use, but I’m not constrained to speech bubbles.
That chart is worse than the sex tape in a building where Mary and Mike live, because if they find out, they WILL try to get it, and be that much more dangerouss.
This guy behaves exactly like my abusive father. Humiliate and order in public – but deniably – and then excoriate and tear you to pieces in private. It’s been triggering as fuck to read, but worse to read people talking about how he was just stern, and military, and we should all stop misjudging him.
Also, Chloe, fuck you forever for calling Carla a “high-profile flashpoint.” For being trans. Oh, or even worse, perhaps for being trans and someone they couldn’t just sweep under the rug without notice if something goes wrong. Just fucking UGH.
Regarding Carla, look at how some people react to trans people. CARLA’S not the problem, but how others REACT to her could be if she’s outed for all to see. Some people on the floor know (Mary) but some don’t seem to (Joyce). And even if the STUDENTS are accepting, no telling what their PARENTS would do. I can see Joyce struggling with the concept but ultimately accepting Carla as Carla based on knowing her before being aware of Carla being trans, but we don’t know how Joyce’s parents would react, for example.
I’m waiting for the inevitable chapter where Joyce finds out about Carla being trans, and not knowing what to do runs to Jocelyn, and finds out about her as well.
By that exact same logic, they shouldn’t have had dark-skinned RAs a few decades ago. And they shouldn’t have gay RAs today.
That logic seems to pop up whenever people want to enforce the idea that some other group of people shouldn’t be treated like normal people. “Well, it’s not that I want to treat them differently, it’s that other people treat them differently, so I have to!” No. No, you don’t.
I think you may have misunderstood (or I have, and you can totally stick your tongue out at me). She’s referring to the “flashpoints” as people who are possible sites for trouble on the floor, not people interested in the RA role. Although Roz is obviously still both.
Could be talking about how Carla could be targeted for violence. Or possibly that it could be referring to how confrontational and abrasive she acts to some people. We don’t exactly have the complete context. But the fact that she’s letting a situation of abuse like this happen in front of her still doesn’t put Chloe in a positive light.
Not to defend pudding lady, but I don’t think she meant it like that – she mentioned her family’s company, not her being trans, and I believe her being from a successful family is semi-public knowledge.
And asshole gramps here would have no idea about her being trans, anyway.
Carla mentions her family company here. So yeah, her being at the school, regardless of her being trans, would make her someone to be aware of in case there’s trouble.
It’s probably not just for being trans. Carla’s personality is one of someone who’ll escalate a situation, given the chance. And IIRC, Mary had never attacked her for being trans until after Carla was repeatedly rollerblading around in the hallway and nearly ran into her? I might remember that one wrong.
We’ve seen more conflicts arise from Carla simply being herself than from the fact that she’s trans.
The only time Carla nearly ran into Mary is because Mary lay down in front of her rather than get an authority figure (like Chloe or security if she didn’t trust Ruth – justifiably so, she’d been struck by Ruth once and manhandled by her on another occasion).
Mary didn’t bring out the misgendering until the very end, but she was the one who initiated conflict, at every single point. The ‘very nearly ran into her’ part never happened, for instance. She actively avoided running into her, despite Mary actively putting herself in the way.
Carla was rollerblading through the halls, which is certainly a rules violation, but not an attack on Mary, or even an inconvenience to her. Nor is her refusing to bow to Mary’s unreasonable demand.
In complete and likely-undeserved fairness, Carla would be a flash point regardless of whether she was trans or cis. BECAUSE CARLA.
…. also, in further and undeserved fairness, Carla being trans (and also the child of famous parents) DOES make her a flash point. It’s not her fault in the slightest, but it does make her a target for everyone from bigoted pastors to Mary to… well, y’all know the list. Needing to be someone who can deal with that (which even a take-no-crap R.A. like Ruth wasn’t) DOES up the load on whomever’s in charge of the hall, which could make people hesitant to apply for the job and force Chloe to further filter out the applicants than she normally would.
…. fuck it, I’m not feeling fair tonight. DIAF, Chloe. … I mean, get in a line and wait your turn after Ryan, Blaine, and some others, but DIAF.
My dad was also really into this. Portray the magnanimous guy who “just wants best for his wayward son” in public or in group spaces and turn up the awful to 11 in private. It’s why this whole thing has been really terrifyingly familiar since minute one.
And yeah, fuck Chloe for that. And that’s a nasty confirmation that Carla has the private room for the more common reason* trans kids get private rooms rather than something genuinely well-meaning.
*That their presence could be “disruptive” so you reduce the amount of interactions with others and visibly separate them so you don’t lose Title IX funding for refusing to house her with others of her gender, but you also send clear signals to the trans student to keep quiet and out of sight so that there’s no “complaints”.
As I said yesterday, he’d also been behaving similiarly to my father, who is not and never was abusive. Clint’s behaviour in this strip however is not something I could see my own father doing to me.
It might still be chalked down to the generational gap and Clint genuinely believing that he knows what’s best for Ruth and if she’d only do exactly as he says everything would be fine. I do not think that is the case, I’m just of the opinion that it’s a possible explanation, and even if it were the case he’d still be abusive, he just wouldn’t realise it.
For all practical purposes Clint is confirmed as asshole grandfather.
And as others have pointed out, Carla is a “high-profile flashpoint” for being the child of the Ruttechs, not because she’s trans.
Really hoping she says something in the next strip. These last few lines show a serious power imbalance issue between Ruth and gramps, so maybe that will prompt Chloe to speak up.
It is pretty bad… I don’t understand the Beck thing… I love that Ruth knows she shouldn’t take it again. She seems like the type that will back down to the guy. The moment she saw him she went to military sir mode.
Yeah, I don’t actually think he deserves punching, from what we’ve seen yet. Just to be kept away from Ruth and out of her life. And a serious intervention on Howie’s behalf.
I’m not worried though. He’ll earn his punches soon.
He’s got a cane. It’s a fight not a match, no Marquis of Queensbury rules. Go for the bad leg, most likely the one opposite the side on which he holds the cane. Once down proceed to kick repeatedly in the soft parts.
If you actually need to fight someone, especially someone you think can beat you, fight dirty enough a pig would feel the need for a bath after.
Those were both physically-violent asshole fathers. Clint is abusive, but it remains to be seen whether he’s PHYSICALLY abusive. Or whether that distinction matters to Amazi-Girl.
For the luvva Cheese, Chloe, pick up what Ruth’s trying to say. The poor girl felt so damn trapped she tried to will herself to die, discovered the world DOESN’T suck and hey, she wants to live after all, and now Sir’s coming along to “help” in a way that Ruth doesn’t want. So hard being on this side of the fourth wall knowing the student characters are mostly 18-20 and not being able to offer help they need.
Well, the biggest catalyst for her stress at that point was Mary, not necessarily the RA job itself. At this point, Ruth’s relationship with Billie is out in the open, more or less. If she’s reinstated as the RA anyway, it’s not as if Mary CAN blackmail her with that anymore.
Probably’d need a few more days to see how that plays out, but to Chloe, Ruth getting her job back WITHOUT the risk of being blackmailed probably looks like the best case scenario for her – especially if she’s getting therapy and medication to help her deal with the underlying depression.
Even to me, with the conflict between Ruth and Billie cleared up (as that was the issue earlier on), and Mary powerless, I don’t honestly see what would be so awful about the situation. She’s clearly got some issues with her grandfather, yeah, but that seems to be a separate thing from the RA position, even if he’s invested in her returning to it for some reason. With no stressors this time around, and actually doing something about the depression…
Ruth pretty much said she doesn’t want to RA. Getting fired would be a light at the end of the tunnel. And she wasn’t feeling trapped by the job, she was trapped by the expectations of Sir. Ruth thought she’d managed to mess up in such a way that Sir would be forced to dial it back (“Hey, I got fired for rather valid reasons AND nearly died, guess shit happens.”) and he really hasn’t.
My quote was actually from Red Planet by Robert Heinlein – one of the Martians is given the name Willis by a human. When I read “W-which one is the real Amazi-girl…?” I remembered this quote and it seemed too funny not to post.
Fortunately, like all Trekkies (Trekkers?) the Beck 3 R.A. was able to be bolstered by an all-night dvd marathon of his favorite episodes from OS and tNG, along with some even-numbered OS movies.
*waits probably no more than a minute for someone to get the added geek reference*
I didn’t love her
I never needed her
She was willing and that’s all there is to say…
Don’t forsake me
Please don’t leave me now!
A Heart Needs a Second Chance–38 Special
Because Becky’s not actually a student, so information on her would be more sparse. Joyce on the other hand is someone that plenty of people see regularly. On top of that, she’s also the one who punched the shooter out and busted her hand in the process, which would only further heighten her profile.
Yeah, that’s what makes these strips even more awful than they already are. We saw her starting to recover and rebuild her life and then here comes “sir” to fucking blow right in and nuke it all to the ground and reduce her to a broken mess once again. And seeing how successful he is at it…
Fuck, I’ve seen it too many times in too many people I care about’s eyes.
Mine tried to “man me up”, so I wouldn’t turn out to be a . Joke’s on him – I’m not just gay, I’m a woman, too! Not sure which of those was the bigger surprise for that piece of shit.
Pretty sure thats just Man101 from the OldSchool of School of Hard Knocks.
Being a man is filled with horrible things and being man enough to deal with horrible things by not having emotions and dealing with the world through a haze of testosterone and baseless confidence that you can outman anything. Or…something.
I’m pretty sure it had about a generation left on it, maybe two before the idea of the “Caveman Alpha Man” died out, but not sure if we’re scheduled for a Manpocalypse now in the hopes of delaying the extinction of that mentality, even though honestly its toxic to everyone involved. I mean, Joe in the comic is an example of the “usual best case end result of a man’s man’s life” , and its pretty clear that he’s got issues he tries to bury behind the act.
Who would even want to man up and grow a pair? Internal organs hanging outside your body in elbow skin that hurt if you sit wrong? I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some men think they are so very awesome.
The odd thing about manning up is that it doesn’t just happen with parents and their transdaughters. I’m a cis woman and my dad tries to constantly man me up in the emotional and illness/pain department, but I’m not allowed to acknowledge being anything but straight woman who likes white guys. He also gets pissed when I cuss because girls don’t do that, when I got a tattoo (and still randomly after a year later), when I defend minorities and LGBTQ (because according to him I’m not one of them and have no dog in the fight so I just like to argue), when I say tamer stuff than my nephew or he or his boys have said (dad was a hippy and I know way WAY too many details but I can’t say anything remotely PG13), when I cut my hair short… I think they are just that way. Can’t wait until next month though. Getting my pixie hair streaked blue and a second ear piercing and starting on the sketch work on my next tattoo because I’m over 30 and tired of having him dictate what I do with my body. I think that’s 1 good thing about parents like that. When all the fucks run out, we showcase our uniqueness without being afraid of what others think because we spent too many years like that.
So, wait – you’re supposed to be explicitly mannish in your ability to absorb pain, but if you so much as cut your hair you’re too mannish? Yeah, it all sounds like he’s purely a control freak.
Ugh. I heard a song the other day – something about “Don’t tell me to smile and then criticize the words that leave my mouth – I’m not a paper doll you can cut to shape, paper perfect, paper thin…”
Welcome to my world. Ever got cussed out for dropping a dryer sheet on the floor? Ever had to stop watching a tv show you like to put lotion on someone’s feet? Ever had a 9 pm curfew at 11 pm bed time in your 30s? Ever have to hide who you are so well that you feel like you are tiptoeing through a minefield every day of your life, but have to feel grateful for it (I’m disabled and my mother was so abusive she nearly killed me) as the anxiety, stress, and depression eat you alive? I have.
ACON present. Biological father started calling and sending texts again the day before yesterday after a month or two of blissful silence, just in time for Sir to show up. -_-‘ Nightmares yesterday, nightmares today…probably gonna be nightmares tomorrow, too.
Thank goodness for having THE best mother in the whole world to make up for it.
Becky MIGHT be recognizable, but everyone who sees her (and isn’t in on the conspiracy) thinks she’s just visiting.
Joyce is relevant to this conversation because she’s actually within the R.A.’s sphere of responsibility. Becky, to the knowledge of everyone present save Ruth, is not.
There are kids that live on the floor that potential RAs don’t want to deal with. The Brown kid is one of them; Becky is not one of them, by virtue of not being a resident in the first place.
Okay. Fuck him. Hate him already. He reminds me of too many people after I suffered from depression and had to go in the hospital for a bit. It’s not instantly over. It’s not something you just get over. It takes weeks to adjust to being out even after a short stay and months to feel right. You physically and mentally can’t handle stress. Your moods are everywhere and nowhere switching on and off like a blinding light in a dark room. There is something that breaks inside of you when you go from having suicidal thoughts to wanting to die rather you fight long enough to get help or can’t and survive it. That takes time to mend. And everybody is pissed at you, shoving massive amounts of religion in your direction, or accusing you of not being serious or after attention. And you might fall back down again wanting to end it all if you don’t have a support system. Guys like Sir here are the anti support system. They tear us down when we are venerable and call us weak and selfish when we die. Fuck him.
Cause there’s a unique way fuckers like this have of just draining energy and progress from a person and reducing them to a wreck that needs days of recovery. I used to be a mess every time I visited home and made sure I always scheduled one weekend day before I had to go back to work so I had time for collapse.
I only occasionally contact my mom any more and even that is really minimal and is like a text message with no information about my life every couple of months or so.
I’ve got my dad’s email, number, and home phone number blocked and he hasn’t tried to contact me through my mom’s phone, so he might not realize I’m in contact with her through that or he might actually respect my mom enough to leave her some privacy or he might actually remember he disowned me this time. I’ve got my uncle’s email blocked and he hasn’t tried to phone me but he sends a lot of physical letters I immediately throw away, though I always check to see if he’s apologized, because I’m weak like that.
None of them get to know anything important about my life (I haven’t even told them my real name or that I’m getting married as I don’t trust my mom not to spill that information to a person who’d try and hurt them). They do all know my home address, but so far no surprise visits though part of me is always a little scared that my dad is going to show up randomly one day or call me through my mom’s phone to harass me. But so far so good.
End result, I haven’t seen them in person or in any real meaningful contact for years and I’ve been so so much healthier for it. Accepting my final disownment was really the best decision I could have made. Though it was scary as hell at the time because of the economic uncertainty (I was almost certain I’d end up homeless and I very nearly did end up homeless).
I’m so glad you had the strength my dear. My best friend is currently in the thick of a similar situation herself except her mother tried to ruin her wedding because she would not have the wedding exactly as her mother wanted, deal with threats, be constantly insulted, and have racist Asian comments thrown at her husband to be, so she kicked them out of her life, eloped, and went on a lovely honeymoon. It’s been hard because her mother is constantly texting and emailing, has her voice mail full, and even calls her job! I hope it eventually evens out like it did with yours. At least they are blocked now (her brother and mother are the worse offenders with her father justifying everything they do).
Have you thought of mailing them a Christmas card or the like with a picture of you and your new spouse at the wedding with names below? The important ones are blocked so you hopefully wouldn’t have to worry too much. It might be good closure to tell them you are happy and successful without them even if you don’t put it in words.
Speaking of the wedding, has your fiancé decided what they will wear? Will they go with traditional female or male garb or will they go with a hybrid like a black dress with a tuxedo inspired top half? What about your dress? White or color? I adore a lot of the color ones myself. Also, in case I come off weird, my mamaw was a seamstress sewing everything from play clothes for poor children to wedding dresses so my curiosity is less fashionista and more something that I was raised around.
They’re masc-leaning agender/genderfluid, so I think they’re planning on wearing a suit or a nice dress shirt and vest. I’m planning on wearing a nice red dress and am debating whether to pair it with a black skirt cause it’s a little shorter than I tend to wear on its own but that might be appropriate for the occasion. And planning to do it at the City Hall on Trans March unless we choose to delay it again.
I’m pretty excited.
And yeah, no, I’m not planning on sending them anything. Let them think I’m in a ditch somewhere starving to death if it at least means my partner is safe and they’ve got no means to stalk me by my real name online.
I bet it will be awesome. I hope you take plenty of pictures! And color is great to have as it can be worn again. And please don’t delay again! Be happy and wonderful with the person that you met by chance that suites you so perfectly.
My best friend went to Italy with the money saved by eloping and my nephew and his wife went to a nice relaxing small town with lots of local history and a spa a few hours from here for their honeymoon. Any plans for a honeymoon for you two?
I can understand that for sure. I haven’t talked to my biological mother in over a decade. It’s their loss. 🙂
I’m a teacher and their a grocer and we’re both wanting to go back to school so we’re probably going to do the delayed honeymoon thing so we can turn it into a “flee the country and never look back” if we need to *coughs meaningfully and glares at the nearest Trump Tower*
Lmao! Oh god yes. That is just a garbage fire right there. Let’s increase military budget and cut back on planned parenthood, health care, meals on wheels, arts and humanities, low income housing and aid, and basically everything. Just fuck everybody that’s not rich. We won’t force that poor single mother to pay for others food, just a tank… oh and we aren’t gonna give her as much food. She might be buying outrageous unnecessary stuff like a smartphone or a refrigerator! Plus people are overweight anyway and by giving her less free food she won’t get obese! And if that kid gets cancer we will promise to stabilize it every time it has to go it the hospital before sending it home to live a long and happy… oh it died.
That’s a very good term. As part of the support system for some people I know very well when I’m needed. When they have been in contact with their “anti-support system” is prime time.
It took me reading this comment to remember that Brown is Joyce’s last name. I was very confused reading the comic and thought she was talking about Walky or Sal. Oops. I blame the all caps text format. My bad
Hopeful outcome: Chloe knows exactly what is going on but is playing the game to keep “Sir” unaware. After he leaves, there’s a private conversation between her and Ruth about taking the responsibilities off her shoulders while maintaining the ruse for official purposes.
Best possible outcome: Ruth defies “sir” so hard that his facade cracks in front of witnesses, his subsequent violence buys him a cell next to toedad.
Most likely outcome: Chloe, being a college official, sympathizes with Ruth’s plight just enough to pretend to care, but when it comes to action the most she can manage is a carefully phrased version of “Sorry you’re abused, but it’s too much work to give a shit. You’re on your own.”
I don’t know if it’s just that anyone looks good compared to Clint, but I’m inclined to think the best of Chloe; she might be interpreting Ruth’s reaction as “Due to my psychological breakdown, my self-esteem is shot and I am convinced that I am not worthy of holding any position of authority, even if having the added reason to get out of bed in the morning might actually help my recovery.” rather than “I do not want the job, dear god don’t make me go back to it.”
And if she notes Clint’s abusive behavior, then the job means Ruth gets to keep living away from him (while minimizing the risk that Clint would make things suck for everyone involved if they go against him).
The facade almost never breaks in front of others. Many times, there’s no physical violence because physical violence leaves signs that can’t be hand-waved away as the victim’s own shortcomings and misinterpretations of events.
I’m hoping for something similar to your hopeful outcome, where Ruth remains “officially” RA in order to keep Sir placated, but they bring Dorothy in with the idea that she won’t be an official RA because she’s a freshman but that she can be an RA-in-training or something similar that she can put on her resume.
Three things.
1) Remember yesterday where I went on a giant rant using the adjective form of “fucking” a lot? Yeah, I’ve kinda spent the past half-hour doubling down on that rant. But changing “fuck him up the ass with a wooden stake” to “fucking flay him alive and impale him on a fucking pike”.
2) Chloe, I have a question for you. Are you deaf?!?!? Listen. To. Ruth!!
3) Wait, someone actually nominated Joyce to be RA? Cause, she never volunteered herself, so who did?
I think that isn’t a list of possible RAs — she specified “on the floor,” and they could bring in another RA from elsewhere — it’s a list of people on their floor who would make being an RA difficult. Thus, it’s “a much shorter mile” because less people are eager to take on this particular opening.
On #3: Chloe’s listing ‘flashpoints’, not the people who were in consideration for RA. So, even worse in the “the people who need our help are problems” sense.
Well, they are in a sense. Not that it’s their fault or anything, but that they make this particular floor more challenging and thus harder to find an RA for. There’s a lot of potential crises concentrated on this floor – it’s a big challenge for some 19 year old kid to take on.
Pudding Head isn’t useless. She’s actually actively fucking everything up right now.
And, yeah, that’s the name I have for her now. I avoided it before because it implied she was stupid. But she really does have pudding for brains if she thinks what she did is remotely acceptable.
Flashpoints in the dorm? How about every parent finding out that the RM let a suicidal and abusive RA be in charge of their kids?
And, yes, Pudding Head knows about at least some of Ruth’s abusive behavior. And she should be fired for sharing medical info with Ruth’s “guardian” (not that he’s even legally that anymore.)
Fun fact: they generally won’t let you refuse to put down emergency contact info. She may have written him down because she didn’t know what else to do. He may have even ‘looked over’ her forms before she handed them in :/
Yeah, there was a period where emergency contact was fun because I needed to put down something but I definitely wasn’t going to give my family an in if something went wrong. I had to get a bit creative for a bit.
I’m going to say that’s her normal ringtone since she seemed annoyed to be getting a call, not dreading hearing from “sir,” so she didn’t realize it was him calling. It would be the perfect ringtone for his personality though.
Man, here I was thinking Clint (Jesus, Willis, give the dude the name of my best friend, my cousin, AND a fictional character I like, WTF) just wanted her to stay because he didn’t want her at home/in his hair. The “embarrassment” aspect of it didn’t even occur to me and probably bodes a lot worse for poor Ruth.
I had a similar breakdown my senior year, only with less responsibilities and no alcohol. That was bad enough. Poor Ruth.
Am I the only one who’s interpretting Clint in Panel 4 as possibly thinking “Hey, valuable political connection for us/me to forge. It’s settled. Ruth will do this.”
I doubt it. As far as we know, he isn’t involved in politics, or anything that would benefit from having ties with politics.
Personally, the “investment” he’s talking about is Ruth’s college education.
And the fact he views his granddaughter as an investment is another reason as to why he’s a jerk.
No one said Clint wasn’t a jerk, or emotionally distant and controlling. Just that Ruth’s depression may not be a response to that, but an actual medical issue with less dramatic causation. Saying someone is not abusive is not the same as saying you like them.
All I read was people saying that we have seen no signs of abuse and that they wanted to wait before making any judgements. That was followed by other people venting on them and attempting to bully and abuse them into joining their way of thinking.
I read people saying Clint was just fine, and that Ruth’s fear of him wasn’t justified, and that Clint’s actions were not harmful, and that someone being unaware of rheor abuse makes them not abusive. It was followed up by other people arguing, and after that the initial people got super defensive. Stating that you disagree with someone isn’t “bullying and abusing” wtf. Maybe I missed something though, as I didn’t reado any comments posted after whatever time I commented.
I’m sure he could give Ruth a completely free ride, but having a job to do – this one, in particular – will “build character”, look good on her resume for whatever plan he has for her future, and (most importantly, as others noted in the comments on the last strip) not actually empower her to escape him in any way, but rather serve as another set of shackles.
Chloe doesn’t make these decisions. She’s said it before, she hints at it again here with “Not my call”.
Clint said yesterday “I had a talk with the department and it’s solved”. Again, not with Chloe, but over Chloe’s head. Makes sense because any financial contribution or anything like that wouldn’t go through a low level manager like Chloe.
It’s possible that Clint is not physically abusive, but he definitely is mentally and emotionally abusive. Even just the fact that Ruth calls him “Sir” rather than “Grandfather” “Papa” “Grampa”, etc. sets off red flags to me. There are varying degrees of abusive jerk, and it is possible that Clint isn’t Toedad or Blaine levels of awful, but he’s still controlling and puts Ruth down.
It’s likely that he genuinely believes that he’s trying to help her, by ensuring she continues on in school and has a job. Being abusive doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love her or that he’s irredeemably awful in every way. He can love his granddaughter while still engaging in harmful and toxic behaviour toward her.
I don’t know about that last part. Abusers are certainly sick, but you’d be surprised the number who are perfectly aware of the effect they have on others, but simply choose not to take responsibility or care. I don’t know that it’s possible to love someone who you are abusing. Abusing someone, by definition you don’t actually respect them or think very much of them at all.
I think it’s more a matter of *thinking* of yourself as a loving person, vs. the things you actually *do* to people. For example, many corrupt politicians also donate to charities, but it doesn’t make them any less awful. That’s just being performative with their actions. I’m sure we’re going to see much worse once Ruth and “Sir” are alone and out of anyone’s sight.
I think what we are seeing is exactly Ruth and Clint’s relationship. Ruth’s depression and lack of self esteem feed on that relationship, but it is likely not a deliberate act on his part.
Well, it’s quite likely he’s not deliberately trying to drive her to suicide through depression, if that’s what you mean. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a major source of her problems.
No, he’s not irredeemably awful. He’s charming, charismatic, friendly, and absolutely believes he’s doing the right thing. But this is Clint in public, in front of someone who presents a threat to him.
We’re seeing an abuser who still has total control over their victim, whose abuse is passing completely undetected thanks to the public facade. Literature on abusers shows they generally know exactly what they’re doing, which is why he’s capable of fooling Chloe and likely others. Only Ruth sees the real Clint, and only Ruth experiences his controlling and doubtless neglectful behaviour.
I agree that he’s less likely to be physically abusive. He strikes me as the type who thinks of physical abuse as “real abuse” (maybe “it’s unspeakably low to hit a girl/child”), and what he does as “being a good guardian”.
Much as DoA isn’t about the crushing reality of terrible things, I don’t think Chloe is going to pick up on this. Much easier to say “Ruth’s depressed so she’s overreacting” rather than to recognise “Ruth’s being abused and this is maybe why she’s depressed in the first place”.
(Victim-Blaming 101: abusing you, and then using your response to the abuse to justify abusing you further.)
Of course it’s also quite possible he’s a “This is the only way I can get you to behave” kind of physical abuser. And still thinks of himself as a good guardian. The abuse is all Ruth’s fault because she doesn’t react properly to his discipline.
That’s all speculation of course. We don’t know what kind of abuser he is. All we really know is what we’ve seen right here and Ruth is conditioned to be terrified of him and is also worried about Howard.
If you really want to think about something scary, remember that for the vast majority of the history of Western civilization, this guy’s personality type was seen as pretty close to the ideal father.
“If I DO do this, I’ll need the power to do it right.”
“Of course.”
“Starting with expelling Mary. Or at least kicking her out of the hall.”
“Wha-”
“She blackmailed me into staying silent while dropping a metric shitton of transphobia on Carla.”
“But we can’t just kick her out…”
“Blackmail is a felony, and her harrassment means that another student isn’t safe. If you’re not going to let me do this job than I’m not going to do it. That simple. Make it happen or I very publicly walk.”
“… wait, isn’t that blackmail too?”
“Yup. Go ahead. Fire me for it.”
“But kicking her out would also draw public scrutiny, which would-”
“-expose the details she was blackmailing me with, and also that she succeeded, and also my assault on her, and get me fired. Yup. So are you giving me the authority to do this, or not?”
…..
…. note that I’m not saying this is necessarily a GOOD scenario. Awesome, yes, good, no.
…. and yes, I know, Ruth’s in no fit state of mind to make this sort of righteous power play.
No, she could seize power by doing what Reltzik suggested. She has power because she actually doesn’t want what they want for her. If they push her to take it anyway, she can burn it down by going public. “She who can destroy a thing has power over it.”
Or they can not give her the job, which is what she wants.
Of course, she won’t do this, because she’s depressed and bold action isn’t what depressed people are known for and because she’s been conditioned to be obedient and submissive to Clint.
I’d also quibble about “Everyone else thinks they are doing her a favour.” Chloe, almost certainly – though it’s all tied up with making things easier for herself.
Clint, maybe, but only in the warped way where keeping on the path he’s laid out whatever she thinks she wants is actually a favor. It’s about control. He’s decided. He’s arranged. He’s invested. He’s solved. She will do this.
I’m thinking of making an intermittent series of comments like this, in which the characters do much more awesome things because I have more time to think of clever responses than they do and I don’t really care about burning their hypothetical lives to the ground in the name of being cool.
Hmm…so, Ruth didn’t want the RA position because it reduced her reliance on Sir, but because he Said So. That puts a different spin on her earlier interactions with him.
I was about ready to punch the wall when I saw ‘brown kid’ thinking she was jumping on the “Mistreat Sal” bandwagon before I realized it was actually ‘Brown kid’.
Also, more A-class grandparenting from Clint here. Standing up and menacingly backing your panicking grandaughter into a corner.
TBF, Sierra would also count as a ‘brown kid’ if that were the case.
….But yeah, that’s where my mind went too because Sal = rebel and rebel = admin headache and then she mentioned the shooting and I felt much less crabby.
She might actually be thinking of Sal, since she might be aware of the whole “robbing a convenience store” thing. But confidentiality means she doesn’t say it and goes for the ones that are public knowledge instead.
This is a nightmare scenario for me. Like. I’ve spent the past few years coming to terms with a lot of things, and depression and suicidal thoughts is one of them. And, Clint is my greatest fear. I have the great fortune of not having anyone like him in my life, but I can’t look at it? I can’t look at Ruth falling so close to relapsing again.
I wanted to take part in the chat, but when I came into this website I held a hand over my screen because I didn’t want to see their faces.
Yep, kind of called it. Still not sure how horrible this guy gets, but there was no way Clint was going to let things “go off script” after he “solved it”. I mean, yeah, this is stuff that could look like “some shade of normal” at least to some of the older readers here like me who haven’t had a much more intimate history with abuse, but its right there on the edge of “Tough Patriarchal Figure who won’t let you let yourself down” and shows no signs of slowing to a halt at that point.
For Ruth’s sake I hope Clint has the restraint to not try and force the issue too much more forcefully than he’s already done in the last few panels, cause I’m at least expecting yelling at her for not appreciating the favors he called in or berating her for being a worthless disappointment if she refuses to “straighten up”. I mean, I’m not sure thats actually any better than going straight into a physically violent rage, but it’d be slightly less disturbing to me to watch probably.
And I’m someone whose never had what people would call abuse happen to me in my life. I mean, one of my grandmothers was married to a control freak of a man who later on in life took towards being abusive both emotionally and physically to her due to anger management issues as well as possibly just lashing out as a result of rage at his own decrepitness by that point…
But well, we didn’t really live close enough to see either of them much, so its more just knowing what a bitter, rage-filled, control freak of an old-fashioned “a man is king of his household” sort of “normal” old-man can do, without diluting the horribleness of it by pretending that its not purely their choice to do such things.
Honestly, a “normal” generally functional human being who exerts their perceived power over someone under their “rule” is possibly worse than the “monsters” they’re made out to be, because at least goblins and ogres and devils and the like are usually just that way by nature, same as a tiger or wolf. Clint here, well he at least could have tried to see where his granddaughter was coming from or even tried to convince her that “none of the things that happened” were “her fault”, instead of just putting forth a repeated ultimatum with an unspoken consequence (Or alternatively that he doesn’t think needs a spoken “or else” because he’s not even giving her that much of a choice in the matter.) .
So, yeah, maybe people are right that he’s not a “monster” persay, but like my dear old grandmother’s late husband, well he’s almost definitely a Dick. (Even though I suppose he’s technically a Clint. Not seeing much of a difference between the two tbh though, except for physical violence and extreme rage and yelling still not being confirmed.)
Yeah, that control freak nature and refusal to accept any deviation of the path he’s chosen is so dehumanizing. Which no wonder Ruth felt trapped and miserable. And why she was looking forward to being free of this job. Because it’s just another cage from “sir” to keep her “contained”.
I almost hope he doesn’t have the restraint to not force the issue. Disturbing as it might be to watch, it might tear the mask off even for the apparently oblivious Chloe.
What I really don’t want is for him to get a few moments of privacy with his granddaughter – because that’s when it’s safe to take the mask off.
You know, I don’t think I would dislike this guy so much if he didn’t come off as so entitled. I guess it’s the (currently visible) marker in my mind between “being bad TO Ruth” and “being bad FOR Ruth”. And before you come at me with “Do you SEE Ruth’s utterly terrified reaction to him?”, yes, I do. But I also only have my own experience to go on, and in my own experience, I still sometimes have that exact reaction to a parent who was the later, but not the former; even now that the relationship has been mended to the point that it’s mostly healthy.
Before I begin, I want to get meta for a second. Everytime an abusive person comes in dripping red flags, there’s a pattern where a bunch of people get upset with the people freaking out for “overreacting” until eventually it turns out that yeah, those red flags were definitely red. It’s happened with Blaine, Ethan and Danny’s parents, Carol, Toedad, “sir”, and Mary.
And I get it, the reason abusers get away with their shit is they are very good at skimming under the radar of “wait, was that fucked up or am I overthinking it” to observers and people want to inherently think well of people, because that’s a key component of ourselves as a social species.
But the reason a huge number of us with really shitty life experiences freak out and jump up and down talking about red flags isn’t because we’re cool cynics who always hate on folks and never see the positive. It’s because we learned the hard way about certain red flags and so when we see them again, we’re frequently transported back into the terror and pain of when we directly suffered what those red flags tried to warn us about.
None of us want to be right about abusive characters. Frequently abusive characters make reading the comic in general a lot more of a raw experience.
I can’t ask anyone to go against their natural inclinations in how they read things, but it would be nice in the future when the next abusive figure strolls in, if we could be trusted.
That what we’re seeing is based on something real. And that we’ve got an unfortunately good track record on seeing some of this shit. Cause the repeated cycle every time a new abusive character makes their appearance is a little hard to keep going through over and over and over again.
Thank you.
And now on to the actual comic.
Panel 1: Holy fuck, Ruth is fucking broken in this panel. Her eyebrows full of fear, her pupils shrinking away and her expression just… defeated. This is a blow to her and that it’s a blow to her is written all over her face.
That Chloe continually fails to pick up on these red flags, that she continues to assume that “sir” is a great guy who cares deeply about his daughter is I feel the illustration of the bystander effect that leads to awkward things like what I wrote about above.
And as a result, Chloe does something awful, which is fail to respond or acknowledge Ruth’s clear pain here and thus leave her feeling even more isolated by her abuser.
After all, her abuser is here abusing her in front of an authority figure and that authority figure is blithely unaware. It’s… it reminds me a lot of when I was raped and how the fact that no one else seemed to think it was a big enough deal to justify intervening means I felt I needed to accept it and stop making a big fuss.
And on Ruth’s face, I feel the same resigned confused panic. And it makes me cry.
I think a lot of people have never experienced these things, so they literally can’t fathom it, and thus anything that doesn’t fit inside their reality gets explained away – which is a dangerous mindset anyway. Also, people who might have experienced it but are still in denial about how bad their situation actually was. Or people who were lucky enough to survive without scars and so they think it’s “not that bad”.
It’s easier to get mad at the accuser than it is to get mad at the perpetrator, especially in the realm of domestic violence and abuse of that nature, because that means they won’t have to process it or do anything about it, or accept that it’s (very likely) someone they “know”.
Whew. This strip is bringing back a lot of feelings and memories. Maybe Ruth can get more loans? Or get a loan to live off campus – I believe you’re allowed to get loans for things other than straight up tuition, that’s how I bought books and stuff when i was in school.
It’s a tough decision, but you really can’t put a price on your sanity… it’s not something you can easily replace.
I just want to say that I always find your indepth analysis of the comics really interesting…
…and well, that I’m sorry that your life has had so many horrible unpleasant parts of it. I’m not sure I really said that right, but I’m not really sure the proper way to put it in words. I mean, I liked that “*appropriate gesture of support*” thing people were doing on the last page, but I can barely manage myself so I’m not sure someone who is maybe basically a Danny (Not saying it that way for bad reasons, but just the “Mostly normally raised person, semiadjusted person who tries to fumble their way towards doing the right thing” sort of reasons sort of Dannyness) of the comment section currently, I don’t know if I get to use that?
Anyways, I hope that there aren’t further horriblenesses in your life, cause….well you sound like you already have dealt with way more than your share of such things.
I’m honestly very disheartened that you need to say that part before the analysis here (especially in this case). There have been strong “hints” every time anything to do with *checks tags* Clint has come up (by “hints” I mean all of us being slapped around by a clue-by-four) and that’s before you get to all the clues in how Ruth has acted since this comic started.
Anyway, I have this feeling that Ruth’s grandfather is swinging a very big stick where the school is concerned. Everything about him screams upper 20% wealth and income level to me, the kind of “self made” man who is typically used to getting what he wants one way or the other (be that throwing money at the problem or wielding social clout) but isn’t in the kind of really hyper privileged position typified by old money nor nouveau riche 1% types. If I’m right about that, Chloe is almost certainly in a rock and a hard spot position here as she’ll have pressure from on high to make sure he gets his way no matter her own feelings nor anyone else’s here at risk of her continued employment and potentially all future employment prospects as well. Hence, I’m going to wait and see what gets said and what gets done after he’s gone.
Oh god. I didn’t know you were…I can’t type that word I just can’t. I don’t, just don’t understand how a human being can do that to another human. It’s just…why? I’m…horrified that you had to go through that ordeal Cerberus. Things like…like that shouldn’t happen to people like you. Good people, who’ve already gone through horrible things, and then…and then…goddamnit. God fucking damnit. It’s not right. It’s not right. *tries to offer appropriate gesture of support*
Before I begin, I want to get meta for a second. Everytime an abusive person comes in dripping red flags, there’s a pattern where a bunch of people get upset with the people freaking out for “overreacting” until eventually it turns out that yeah, those red flags were definitely red. It’s happened with Blaine, Ethan and Danny’s parents, Carol, Toedad, “sir”, and Mary.
Quoted for truth.
Consider also that abusers are very good at normalizing abuse patterns in society. Hyper-controlling parent who refuses to let their child have any breathing room or say in their life is a “concerned parent” who “takes an active involvement in their child’s life.” Smacking your kid until they comply to make the pain stop is “discipline” or “spanking.” Berating your kid until they’re in tears is being a “strict disciplinarian”.
Abusers are very good at speaking honeyed venom. At sounding ever so calm and reasonable as they question whether someone actually counts as a person. If you’ve never experienced it first-hand, you don’t know the dog-whistles and red flags – but that doesn’t mean they’re not dog-whistles and red flags.
Without the context of past experience and history, certain things that are packaged in reasonable-looking wrapping paper don’t seem all that disturbing. Think the “we can’t restore our civilization with someone else’s babies” rhetoric last week. If you are ignorant of the rising white nationalist influence in the republican party and the ongoing othering of immigrants, it might seem like a statement of the US needing to get its house in order. Only with the context of neo-nazi dogwhistles (of which someone else’s children has been one since the days when there was nothing ‘neo’ about Nazis) and the rising frequency and severity of hate crimes in general in the US does the full weight of that rhetoric become understood.
What the folks who don’t see the red flags are right now are those people who are so ignorant of history that they don’t recognize that rising white nationalism + political power in the hands of white nationalists + othering rhetoric towards anyone who does not fit the white nationalists view of a “true” citizen is very bad news. And just like explaining why “someone else’s children” is so disturbing to students of history takes pages and pages of history lessons, so too does explaining why red flags are red flags to those of us who’ve survived abuse.
What I’m asking is not that you immediately set aside your own first instinct about it – but rather that you consider whether you’re missing some ‘personal history’ context that those of us in the comments who’ve survived abusive situations have.
Yeah, it’s like… I don’t demand people see the same red flags I or others do, but it would be nice if people didn’t pile on the folks who do and assume they are just overreacting and seeing things that aren’t there.
Like disagree with us, say you don’t see those red flags, but trust us enough to know that we’re not reacting to nothing nor are we excited or interested in seeing characters as abusers or harassers. It’s often a sinking haunting feeling. So trust us enough to know we wouldn’t put ourselves through that if we weren’t seeing something that resonates in a scary way.
Cause it’s like, that was the really rough part in a lot of these instances. Being already frayed and then having folks be really really aggressive about how we’re just making shit up and enjoying thinking the worst of people and actively aggressively dismissing what we’re seeing. And it’d be nice if people didn’t treat flashbacks, recognition of red flags, or triggers as something that made us more worthy of dismissal and less trustworthy.
I dunno, my thoughts are all mixed up on this one.
It’d also be cool if maybe they didn’t act like they were being personally attacked when we all agreed that “maybe she’s making up being abused” is a really fucked up thing to say about ANYbody.
The thing that bothers me the most about people who very aggressively demand the commenters not judge abusive characters enough is that they are putting the rights of the potential abusers over the rights of the people potentially being abused. And I realize it’s fiction, but if people are that vehement about fictional characters, then how do they respond in real life?
It honestly makes me feel a little sick to read, too. And while I know that not everyone sees the red flags, the very fact that in this particular case Ruth is showing all the body language of someone feeling outright terror and emotional shut down indicates that there is SOMETHING GOING ON. To me, it’s a bit of a red flag that the people demanding all of these abusive characters get a “fair trial” means that they aren’t giving the abused the same fair trial.
Having said all of that, I have really appreciated your thoughts on this, and your comments in general.
Yes to the entire top half of your comment. It’s understandable why people want to assume the best of everyone at first; like you said, that’s how we as a species function. But when abuse victims are told they “may be overreacting”, in my experience? We all give the same response:
“I hope so.”
And that response there is only for the MINOR red flags. The MAJOR ones usually get a unanimous “HIGH ALERT, ABORT NOW” reaction. But we don’t WANT to be right. We never do.
What does he hope to accomplish by helping his granddaughter keep her job as a fuckin’ RA?
Like, is his head so far up his ass that he’s threatened by the “incompetence” or the “embarrassment” of his college-age granddaughter? Like, holy shit how are you that fucking pathetic?
Panel 2: Fuck, begging for humanity, for reasonable treatment, for the person to notice that you don’t actually want this thing that’s been “settled” for you. And doing it so meekly and politely it can be easily dismissed and cast aside.
Fuck, why does this arc have to hit so many things really really close to home?
Panel 3: Oh wow. Wow. Fuck you Chloe.
Like, I already was starting to severely dislike Chloe for being utterly terrible at her job and letting a really awful situation develop without even the slightest recognition of Clint throwing up more red flags than a matador convention.
But this… wow. This is some grade A HR douchery right here.
First up is the other dismissal of Ruth literally begging off this job. And not for the first time. Which especially when she knows that Ruth was hospitalized and is on the raggedy edge is just… ugh. And trying to guilt trip Ruth into accepting because it makes Chloe’s job easier is just…
Yeah, it might be a shorter list. But tough titties, that’s the job for which you receive a salary. To find someone to fill that role and train them. And this “oh the list is super short” shit is even more garbage when you note that she’s had new applicants in Roz and Dorothy show up. So it’s not like they couldn’t find a replacement while Ruth recovered.
Second up… wow, “high-profile flashpoints”. Like a)that’s a terrible HR euphemistic way of talking about actual students to, b) I notice that Mary, the only person on the floor who committed blackmail and nearly drove a person into a suicide attempt so she could continue harassing another student didn’t make this “flashpoint” list, c) oh, look, all of the people listed are people who make her do the slightest bit of extra work (Joyce because she needed to tell Ruth to schedule an emergency meeting and check in session, Roz to discipline her and Joe’s RA for the sex tape thing, and Carla…
Hoo boy. I think I said a while ago that Carla being in a single room was something that raised a red flag for me owing to my experiences doing trans mentorship in college spaces and seeing how some colleges like to “provide” accommodations in fulfillment of Title IX to trans students but in ways that deliberately set them apart and reduce the chance of a roommate complaining about having to room with a trans person.
And this really seems to confirm a lot of those fears I was having. The fact that she’s listed as a flashpoint. And clearly only a flashpoint because of her existence (with a strong hint that Carla might have had to fight for this accommodation to get it in the first place and was warned to keep her head down when finally given it) as a trans woman, is… vile. And really adds an extra layer to Carla deliberately showering when no one else is.
And fuck, Joyce? Like the Carla thing is vile, but I can’t help but interpret the Joyce inclusion as a nasty piece of victim blaming. After all, she says “high-profile flashpoints” in specific. Roz because of her political affiliations and tendency for flashy actions, Carla for existing, because ya know, trans people being allowed the slightest of accommodations is the hot new thing all the bigots are obsessing over, but Joyce?
The only thing she’s “done” is be targeted in a school shooting and fired upon. But that’s enough to label her an “issue” as if Joyce makes a habit of attracting random angry assholes to shoot at her on a regular basis.
But hey, she made extra paperwork for Chloe one day, so she gets included in the list in a way that Mary, the only one of them that did anything meriting actual RM intervention, didn’t.
So yeah, fuck you Chloe. You shit-pudding haired doucheferret.
oh god…i read your comment and i reread the strip and…oh god. yeah, fuck miss puddinghead.
her saying that carla is an inconvenience indirectly reminds me of the time when i went to polytechnic and wrote that I was trans (due to the whole trauma of having to wear school uniforms in the first 16 fucking years of my life)–I was 17 then, and very inexperienced–and remembered how oppressive it was. i wasn’t allowed to go to the male toilet and had to use the handicapped one (I got yelled at by toilet cleaners to use the female toilet because of that–it was traumatising as fuck honestly–and I couldn’t stop thinking that I was an inconvenience. it might’ve been a really different context, but having been there for 3 years and reading about other trans peoples’ experiences, experiencing more transphobic bullshit and finally being enlightened about how it wasn’t my fault, this just hits home to me and I’m still working to get rid of the self hate; and I can safely say, fuck Chloe. Fuck her intentions and her nice face that reminded me of the authority figures that fooled me into thinking they had mine and the school’s best interests at heart. Fuck them for contributing to the system that made trans people like me constantly fucking feel like shit for existing.
honestly i nearly burst to tears after writing it out. i was surprised, i never thought it was this bad. i used to think, “you know, this is way better than being trapped in government schools wearing school uniforms and being misgendered every fucking day” so I sucked it up; i thought that hey, trans people in average have been through way worse, so i should give authority figures in my school credit for at least trying, especially since my country is general is really conservative and passive aggressive lol. but now i don’t even know anymore. I’m still stuck in the constant mentality that I’m ungrateful, that it’s my fault, that I’m a disappointment, and I’m still trying to work to get rid of that mentality 3 years after I got out of the hellhole of school-uniforms, but I don’t know what to do, lol.
*Also offers internet hugs* The only disappointment in your experience are the people who contributed to your mentality. There’s no such thing as being “ungrateful” when you’re a part of an oppressed minority, who is being treated slightly better than normal, but still not treated like an actual human being. You don’t owe gratitude to them, or anyone else who made you feel like an inconvenience. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m currently at my night job and it sounds like I have to remove a misogynistic drunk from the premises. Third time in as many weeks.
It seems totally okay to me to not be grateful to people who make your life unpleasant, even if they claim or act like they’re “trying”. I mean, I can’t really say I know how that feels or anything in specific, but it sounds like it was really an unpleasant time. Like seriously, there’s not any good reason for people to push people into feeling that horrible about themselves like that.
Sorry if I didn’t put that into words very well, its difficult for me to put my emotions into proper words when the anger and sadness that boils up over people being horrible over stuff like this comes up, even as being kind of an outsider. Like, urg…its basically bullying, but the….”People” who do a lot of the bullying or at least let it happen are usually people who should know better and behave better.
Oh, also wanted to add, you deserve more than scraps. Like society is really good at telling marginalized folks we should be grateful for scraps because it’s more than nothing, but it’s okay to look at the full dinner plates around us and go “what the fuck” and demand full inclusion. And it’s okay to look down at the scraps and see the insult in them.
Being trans and having to wear uniforms is horrible. In my country, uniforms are mandatory for all schools, whether public or private. I used to go to a private international school where they gave us some choice in uniforms. Now I’m at a public university, and there are only two ‘real’ uniforms, and they’re very gendered. I’m a cis queer and I hate them. Fortunately my department has a ‘workshop shirt’, which is a short-sleeve button shirt made of heavy material, supposed to be for wearing during workshop classes. Students usually wear it over casual clothes, which is technically against the rules, but some teachers are more lenient about it. I now wear it for every course that the teacher doesn’t explicitly enforce the uniform policy.
During exams you’re required to wear the uniform though. And that’s really a horror experience for trans people at many schools, because you have to wear the correct uniform as according to your official gender on your records. AND changing your official gender is not allowed. It’s not even a thing in this country. There have been some people who successfully petitioned to wear the uniform that corresponds to their actual gender. But it seems quite rare, unless the school is unofficially lenient about it, like at mine.
I say unofficial because it’s kind of like, turning a blind eye, I feel. Which is dehumanizing. Officially there are only two choices: skirt or pants.
Also, that terrible icing on the sh*t cake that she’s “the Ruttech Girl”. Not only is she a “flashpoint”, but Chloe can’t bring herself to SAY HER NAME. Ugh. Roz gets a first name. Joyce is “the Brown kid”, sure, but Carla doesn’t even get that. Ruttech isn’t her last name, it’s her parents’ *company*. And that’s what Chloe sees her as. Best case scenario, from her perspective, she’s been strongarmed into taking time to watch out for Carla’s safety because her parents own a company.
Yeah, in her mind, she’s something a rich company dumped on her plate rather than a real human girl worthy of respect. And yeah, it does heavily imply that her parents had to flex some muscle or Carla had to drop a name to be taken seriously by the department.
Fuck, no wonder Carla is so cavalier about the higher rungs of authority in the hall. She knows how bloody useless at best, harmful at worst they are.
Eh, the “high-profile flashpoints” thing is certainly a very… not-good thing to say, but she’s specifically talking about nobody wanting that RA job. That kind of makes sense and doesn’t really imply it’s their fault.
And Carla is the “Ruttech girl,” which is probably suitably high-profile all by itself.
I’d agree Mary might be more of a problem to actually deal with, but is she “high-profile” enough that the applicants would have even heard of her?
Panel 4: Poor Star Trek guy. : ( But yeah, I mentioned that above, but yeah, it’s unreasonable to expect Joe’s RA to have “stopped” the sex tape, so we see another sign of how awful Chloe is. Not only did she let shit that was only trickling down because the Dean had to get involved fall on an undergraduate student worker who was not at fault, but when she realizes that looks bad on her, she deflects the blame for the decision to let him take the final fall on to “others” (“others” who are not important to be included in “everyone relevant” in this meeting, so ya know, grain of salt on her not having at least some measure of power and decision making on this stuff).
She’s a lot like my head of school, perpetually unable to accept responsibility for anything and much more concerned in problems “going away” than actually being addressed and solved in a real manner. But luckily with less letting a student get raped and then harassing the student into a suicide attempt.
And “sir”… hmm, I don’t have a clear read on his line here. It feels like it could be scornful judgment on Roz for being a “floozy”, especially with his emphasis of sex tape. It feels like it could be “ah, networking opportunity”. Or even a dropping of how he runs in similar circles. Like “ah yes, a DeSanto, I know those”.
But I’m not getting a strong feeling on that one so I’m going to leave that to someone else to analyze.
Panel 5: Oh fuck, desperate begging to escape. To be heard. To be fucking included and taken more seriously than “yeah, I hear you saying you can’t handle this, but it’d be real inconvenient to me to replace you, so fuck you”.
And that’s critical, because not only is this “sir’s” chosen cage for her, it’s a chosen cage he has a new weapon about. If he “gets her her job back”, he can hold that over her with malicious intent, reminding her anytime he wants to shut her down about how “he had to come save her” from “her destroying her own life”.
And that… I know, I’ve been connecting way too much to personal experience, but… this was my dad’s favorite tactic. He loved presenting himself as magnanimous and caring, offering help that would put me under his thumb and having to accept reparative therapy so I could look “ungrateful” if I refused. And getting upset if I didn’t follow his exact plan for “fixing the mess I made of my life”. And just upset in general. He loved to get nasty in private, really getting the blade in, including against my partner at the time not that I knew at first that that was happening.
And yeah, before I was able to accept my final break with my last disownment. (he and the family loved to disown me and then pretend that never happened when I next talked to them and acting like I was the bad guy for “accusing” them of “something so awful”, so yeah, fun little gaslighting extra), I was like Ruth here, begging for a sign, any sign that any of the family he tried so hard to poison against me were seeing my humanity, how much he was hurting me and threatening me.
Out of desperation and vain hope of having some manner of agency in that particular dynamic. And it’s worse seeing it on Ruth, because she’s not escaping for the last time. She’s still in the thick of it. And I want her so bad to be safe and able to recover again.
Chloe is turning out to be just as bad a boss we thought way back when all we knew about Ruth was that she was a tyrant, and she claimed that her bosses were cool with her bullying.
She was right! The important part for Chloe seem to be to make her own job simple and to avoid dirty from either below or above to stick to herself.
Best case scenario – she’s clueless and really bad at her job, and teenagers suffer because of it.
Yeah, Ruth lets us know way back when, but now we’re seeing how true that is. Her bosses really only do care that they’re not receiving complaints or having issues escalated to the level where they have to do their jobs.
And that’s why Ruth was Chloe’s favorite, because she made her do her job the least of all of them.
Panels 5-6: But Ruth is allowed no agency. “Sir” has decided. “Sir” has arranged it. “Sir” will not allow Ruth to live her life and recover in peace. And I can hope in vain that Chloe sees this transparent intimidation, the broken fear in Ruth’s posture, Ruth’s desperation to not have this job, but I suspect she’ll willfully turn the same blind eye she has to all of his other red flags.
After all, for her, everything is all solved and intervening could cost extra paperwork or angering a potential large donor to the school. So who cares if the woman she visited in the hospital for being right on the edge of a suicide attempt is being broken before her eyes.
Ugh, and that bit where “Sir” is just bristling with implied threat if Ruth dares continue to step over the line. Letting her know that she is not a full human who gets to have “choices” in how her life operates.
This is so dangerous and heart-breaking and I want so badly for Ruth to be able to get away, but I doubt that’s going to occur for a long while in our time. :{
Seriously, though, fuck “sir” and his fucking gaslighting threats and clinical tearing down of a fucking depressed teenage girl because he thinks family members are chess pieces to play with. Fuck, I’m retroactively so glad that his child was at least able to escape him and get to Canada and live a little bit of their life before they were cut short by a drunk driver. I hope Ruth gets a long and lengthy life equally as far from his control and abuse.
I really can’t agree more. And I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach at just how Chloe is handling this. I’m finally getting a permanent teaching job next school year, and behavior like her’s over these past few days from any employee at said school would get them fired. The fact that she’s being so blind…goddamnit it makes me sick. It’s part of her job to make sure the RA’s and Students are ok. That people get help for their problems. Not just label a few of the students as “flashpoints” and skirt away from work and responsibility as much as possible. When she took this job, when anyone takes a job related to education, the first thing you need to know is that you are now partially responsible for the wellbeing of your students. It’s why good teachers will develope parent-like bonds with their students. Because that’s part of what you are when you sign on for the job. And to see someone just, treating that responsibility like it’s nothing, it both pisses me off and makes me want to cry. Chloe’s actions here remind me of a negligent parent, not a proper member of the Student Life department.
This! That’s what makes me so frustrated and angry about her. Like being a teacher means you have a responsibility to the care and well-being of your students. And seeing someone so dismissive of that responsibility is just… grr…
This is why I don’t cut Chloe any slack, honestly. Clearly, she means no harm.
So what? She is doing harm that could be easily avoided by doing her job correctly. Harm by negligence is less loathsome than harm by intent by mere degrees.
It’s really horrible to watch. And we know that if it had been ANYONE else, Ruth would have screamed and threatened and yelled something ridiculous about femurs.
I vote for 3 Becks for RA! They can split the duties!
“Loser Beck” will hang out and keep everyone mellow.
“Midnite Vulture Beck” will Party It Up, but responsibly.
And “Sea Change Beck” will listen to everyone’s emotional drama and make them feel better.
Just keep “Scientologist Beck” out of Mary’s way. Or Walky’s. Or Mike’s, jeez.
Unlike Cerberus, who’s coming at this from obviously strong and raw personal experience with these crap shows with crappy people, I have not had that experience. Maybe that means I’m being a naive doofus. Maybe that means I’m a voice of reason. We’re all right and wrong some time.
We’re supposed to give people the benefit of the doubt. Chloe up to this point, has acted in an entirely reasonable manner. A student became suicidal and had to be hospitalized. Chloe called the person Ruth had listed to call in emergencies. This is the number of the person Ruth has specifically and officially designated to the school that she trusts to handle her stuff when she herself is unable to. Chloe then went down to check on Ruth. While Ruth’s life hangs in the balance, mortifying her with the knowledge that her family knows how badly she’s screwed up looks like a decidedly bad idea. Hell, Ruth even tells Chloe to fire her so Ruth can get on with dying.
Best to wait till Ruth is stable and out of hospital again. And within minutes of getting back to the dorm, Chloe informs Ruth that they should talk. Chloe is concerned for Ruth, who is obviously still not at her best, but is happy that she can at least do this one thing for Ruth: let her keep her job. Everything Ruth has said in this meeting so far comes off as mere panic because she feels she’s unqualified and there’s plenty of better people for the job.
And people are condemning the list for not including Mary, but from the perspective of authority Mary is less problematic than the others. Chloe doesn’t know the extent of Mary’s blackmail shenanigans. Nobody has told her about them. Billie informed her classmates of the blackmail, but not Chloe.
So until the last two panels, Chloe has acted in a completely reasonable manner. And acting in a completely reasonable manner can nevertheless make situations worse.
That said, here is the moment of truth. The RA job is Ruth’s choice, not Clint’s. Clint doesn’t get to bully Ruth into doing this, especially not fresh out of the hospital. Failing to stand up for Ruth here would indeed be a major screw up on Chloe’s part.
I think you are missing some points about the whole thing.
1) We don’t know if Sir was listed as emergency contact. It is likely, but even if he was, not telling her he was contacted and will be there is a mayor step over boundaries.
2) He fucking doesn’t have any right to talk with her employers without her leave. And they fucking don’t have a right to make any decision without asking her first. Both has happened.
3) Chloe didn’t even mention he would be at the meeting. Is she out of her mind or did he actually sell her the “lets surprise her with a solution”?
Either way, to my way of thinking this makes her a person not to be trusted with anything. Either she’s totally dense about keeping boundaries, or someone who bows to power. Both of which are not trustworthy traits.
4) If they don’t have many people able to RA that floor because of the difficult and high-profile cases there, they want to give the job to a person who ist just out of hospital for having been suicidal. Are they out of their minds?
1) When you are rendered mentally incompetent to manage your own life, your boundaries change. It is acceptable to kick and trick suicidal people to get them out of suicidal situations. To contact their “trusted person” without telling the suicidal person until they’re again competent again is a perfectly reasonable measure.
2) This isn’t a firing. The school is *offering* Ruth a job. Clint has every right to talk to whosoever he pleases. And the school has every right to make a decision *not* to fire Ruth. If Ruth wants to quit, fine. But Ruth needs to make it crystal clear she doesn’t want the job, and isn’t just begging off because she feels she screwed up. As far as Chloe is concerned up to this point, Ruth is just suffering from low self-esteem and could use some reassurance, which Chloe is happy to be in a position to give.
3) Given the established positive nature of the surprise and the fact that they are not forcing anything upon her, I don’t see how this counts against Chloe’s trustworthiness.
4) This is a valid point. Clint did something to make the higher-ups give Ruth a second chance at the RA job against all good judgement. But faulting the University for being too nice to Ruth seems to be the opposite of the vibe I’m getting from criticism of Chloe.
I don’t know how old you are, but if some parent figure of yours started to talk to you boss about how he could pave your carreer with some money right now without ever asking you about it, wouldn’t you think is very, very insulting?
To me, that proves a deep disrespect to the person talked and “cared for”.
You can move in on the problems of a 5-year old in this way, you may even do this to a 14 year old though they will hate you for some years for doing so. And in both cases, you might have been right.
But doing this to an adult is telling them they are not able to be anything.
And – if someone is listed as your emergency contact and they are contact by the hospital, what in all the world would be a good reason not to tell them?
You don’t tell suicidal people stuff that might upset them. True. If you suppose their emergency contact is someone value able in their life, you tell them their are coming as this will help. You can’t have it both ways.
Either they are bad news, then you don’t involve them. Or they are good news, then you tell the person concerned they are coming.
I’m in my late 20s. And no I would not be insulted if my parents tried to pave my career with money. Making things easier for those you love isn’t a sign of disrespect. It *would* still be something I would want to stop, because I’d end up promoted before I’m ready. It’d be a sweet but often counterproductive thing for parents to do.
In any case, what’s happening here from the perspective of the authorities is not paving Ruth’s career. This is saving Ruth from being fired. Nobody relishes the thought of firing an employee because they became suicidal. It’s like driving a nail into their coffin. But now they have a practical justification for giving Ruth another chance. To Chloe, this is a good thing.
Your analysis of emergency contacts has a lot of truth to it, but oversimplifies human relationships. People don’t affect each other on a single, simple positive to negative scale. Emergency contacts are often social authority figures, people you depend on and want to be respected by. It’s one thing to call in your father-figure when you get hit by a car. It’s another to call that same father-figure in when you let your own life fall apart. Waiting to tell Ruth until she was out of the danger zone was a reasonable choice.
You think your parents bribing your boss to let you keep your job when you’ve horribly screwed up would be a good thing? Without consulting you. When you hate the job and want out. When you’re protesting and begging them to find someone else. To have your parent order you to stay in the position.
I can easily see Chloe thinking it’s a good thing, especially if she doesn’t realize exactly how it went down. Of course, we don’t know for sure it was a bribe, that is just an assumption. That should change now that Ruth is actively trying to fight it.
If it was a reasonable choice not to tell Ruth right away, because that might be too embarrassing for someone on suicide watch, it’s even less reasonable to wait until they see them in person where they get to face any mortification face to face without preparation.
Trying to help me save my job is a good thing. How on Earth would it not be? It might not be wise, but it’s sure altruistic. If I proved myself temporarily mentally incompetent and was hospitalized for it, no I would not blame them for trying to look out for me and putting me back in the loop once I was officially ready to handle my own life again. Chloe has no idea Ruth hates the job. Ruth has never told her that. Ruth has only ever told Chloe that she should be fired so she could have one less reason to keep living and that she doesn’t deserve to keep the job on merit.
“To have your parent order you to stay in the position.” This is blatantly not my argument. As I’ve said in several other posts, Clint has stepped over the line in a clear way and Chloe needs to step up in the next strip.
This is a *good surprise*. Chloe has had no reason to suspect otherwise up to this point. Would it have been the best thing to do to inform Ruth that she’d be seeing Clint in Chloe’s office? Yes. Was it reasonable to set things up such as to tell give Ruth a pleasant surprise that she can stay employed? Also yes.
Your parents acting without consulting your wishes would be the bad thing.
You not being given a choice would be the bad thing. Surprising you with not having a choice is the worst kind of surprise.
Your employers even talking to your parents about your job and employment details would be a breach of confidentiality.
But maybe, if you consider advancing via bribes by parents a sign of loving care, your moral system has quite different compass points than mine and it makes no sense to continue the conversation anyway.
Regardless of whether someone is rendered legally incompetent, it is not Chloe’s decision to make. If someone is rendered mentally incompetent,others are only allowed discuss that person’s condition with their legal guardian (often a social worker in the case of emergency hospitalizations like Ruth has), and even then, only if a court order has been issued granting another person authority over medical decisions. Ruth’s hospitalization was likely voluntary as they did not have police take her into legal custody and ask a judge for a court order for psychiatric treatment (and yeah, it’s a judge’s decision in Canada and most of the US, to prevent the rampant abuses of the asylum system common in the earlier 2/3 of last century). Ruth’s hospitalization was (as far as I can tell) voluntary (in that they did not have to get the cops to arrest her and force it on her), so Sir would not have had any agency or stake in this situation, legally.
Canadian and US law and medical ethics are both extremely strict on this regard. Chloe is violating HIPAA in at least three different ways right now (discussing a medical record with someone who is not need-to-know within the business, disclosing a medical condition to someone who is not the patient’s legal guardian with authority over medical decisions, and engaging in confidential disability accommodation discussion with an uninvolved third party not consented to or invited by the person whose case is under discussion.
Ruth could sue her ass off, and for good reason.
2, Clint has the right to talk – but legally, he shouldn’t have been told in the first place without Ruth’s explicit permission. Even in cases where someone is on a long-term disability and are incompetent over the long term to manage their own affairs, they are granted standing in court to choose who their guardian should be. All-in-all, unless Ruth explicitly told them they could talk to Clint, not only should he not be here, but he should have no idea what’s going on.
3. See above about medical privacy laws. Someone in an HR position should know exactly how unethical what she has done is.
As I understand it, if he’s listed as an emergency contact, it would be legit to contact him – hospitalization of a suicidal and not very responsive patient would qualify. But that would be the hospital’s action, not Chloe’s.
If she was actually ruled incompetent, her next of kin does get to make certain decisions for her, but as I understand you need to get judges and lawyers involved for that to happen – at least if she’s at all communicative, which she was. Certainly she would need to be informed.
I think it was partly voluntary – she didn’t object when they had her rushed to the hospital. At that point, as I understand it, the doctors could hold her for up to 3 days without a court order. Whether they exercised that option or she just went with the flow due to not having the spoons to object, I don’t know.
It’s also not entirely clear what happened, how Clint was contacted and how much he knows. Both he and Chloe have been very vague. It might not have been her who contacted him. She might not have told him about the mental condition. He definitely went over her head once he found out.
What I find it really hard to excuse or finagle any way to not blame Chloe for is not telling her Clint had been informed and worse, was here. At least when she told her about the meeting an hour ago.
ischemgeek: There are two aspects one should consider before taking a case to trial: the legal argument and the factual argument. From a legal perspective, the school has a legitimate stake in Ruth’s well being. If their student has been hospitalized for a life-threatening issue, calling the emergency contact given to them is exactly what they should do. This is not the sole purview of the hospital. Now once the school has called the emergency contact, does it not seem ridiculous to you that the school wouldn’t be able to tell the contact *why* they’re being contacted? The school doesn’t need to share hospital records. Ruth’s suicidal depression is a matter of public knowledge.
And from a factual perspective, good luck convincing a jury that the school calling Ruth’s emergency contact after she gets hospitalized for suicidal depression, then working behind the scenes with that emergency contact to save Ruth’s job, is somehow something for which Ruth should be awarded damages for in court. Ruth would come off as cravenly trying to bite the Good Samaritan.
thejeff: Certainly telling Ruth an hour before would have been the best thing to do. Ruth was out of the hospital and officially competent. But the difference of an hour to set up a proper office meeting is not something that’s going to hold up in court. The school has no reason to suspect that they’re not doing Ruth a huge solid here by offering her the chance to keep her job and giving her reassurance.
Though again, Clint is blatantly stepping over the line by commanding Ruth to take the job. Chloe ought to recognize that and step up to the plate. Failure to do so will legitimately be a major screw up.
My understanding of Ruth’s hospitalisation was that it was likely an involuntary hold. Her release checks out with when a 3-day hold would be ending.
And in my personal experience, an involuntary hold can be obtained without going before a judge, and the only ‘police’ I encountered were Campus Security being tasked with taking me from the student health center to the hospital. Given that not all of Ruth’s transportation to the hospital was shown, it’s even possible that police were involved.
To be fair, my experience was in California, and this is in Indian, so things could be somewhat different.
Being involuntarily hospitalized because of suicidal notions does not make you legally incompetent about your job decisions and doesn’t allow anyone else to make them.
With the pace DOA is moving, no court orders for anything have been issues in the meantime and there definitely was not competency hearing to take away her right to make her own legal and financial decisions.
See, I’m not sure I can really say Chloe seems like she’s dealt with anything in what I’d call a “reasonable” manner, if only because she constantly looks at best exhausted and at worst “completely out of her depth”.
Maybe its just been an exceptionally hard year, but reading Chloe’s face in most of her appearances at least since Ruth’s problems were revealed, well, I’m not going to assume she’s doing things out of malice or necessarily because she doesn’t think the “kids” are worth worrying about, as much as seeming like she’s the sort who dislikes confrontation and isn’t able to “deal” with how bad things have turned out this early in the school year.
A big public sex tape that puts the school in a really bad light and the heads of the school want “dealt with somehow”, fighting and problems and fireworks displays on the one single floor and wing that she previously had an RA who seemed to keep things quiet and taken care of on, an incident where a gun was fired on school grounds and things when crazy in a big way from there and she doesn’t have any clue how to deal with all of this and make things fall back into place.
I mean, its still her job to step up and try to do something, especially here where Ruth has openly said she’s not up for the job, so yeah, this is definitely the moment where we see if the issue is with Chloe having mismanaging things cause of extreme circumstances or if she actually just doesn’t care.
Sadly its probably easier to keep Ruth in the story if she’s forced to go along with things…so on that end I kind of feel like we’ll end up going the horrible route just for literary reasons. I want Chloe to actually prove she’s better than she’s been acting though.
In fact, rereading the Comics Chloe has been in, she doesn’t even ever show up in the comic until Ruth’s breakdown forces her appearance, didn’t think to look into why she kept having to have Ruth’s door replaced until she was alerted by some of the students in the wing about major violations and suicide risks occurring on the floor and generally thought that Ruth “had her shit together” even with being at least the person who had to sign off on “half a dozen” door repairs.
I mean even with being stuck in meetings with the higher ups regarding the various crises going on (Most of all of which involved people she knows are in Ruth’s wing as a side note), it seems like things must be pretty bad on the other floors if she couldn’t get around to actually checking to see that things were okay in Ruth’s corner of the dorm. I mean all these “Flashpoints” are people she then proceeded to tell them to come find her in her office if they needed her while she was technically standing in as RA due to Ruth’s vacancy during her hospital trip.
Chloe is not particularly good at her job, or at least nowhere near as good as she needs to be to manage whatever has been on her plate to justify her extremely hands off approach if there even is a proper justification.
Now this I can agree with. Chloe isn’t some hero or extraordinary person. She’s been a regular person trying to get by doing her regular job that’s gotten extraordinarily difficult as of late. And she really might not be up to the demands of the job for this year.
And for an RM, this like this WILL happen. Not always this severe, not always these many thinks at once, but it’s not like we have seen her react to small things either.
For example, where were she when Ruth targeted Billie for harassment in the beginning of the term? And what did she do to stand up for the star-trek-hat RA who got to be scapegoat for the sex-tape-thing?
Chloe is bad at her job, and when an RM is bad at her job people get hurt.
The only “defense” I have of her is that her own bosses seem to be pretty bad at it as well, at least if the sex-tape fallout is a clue.
It’s a trope in teen drama stories because it is saddeningly common in real life for authority figures to be incompetent, negligent, or abusive thus leaving them having to handle things themselves.
Originally I was thinking that Chloe might be some kind of front-line supervisor, forced into a situation above her pay grade. Having been a not-very-good front-line supervisor myself, I could empathize.
But having done a little research, it turns out that at IU even Assistant RMs are required to have a Master’s degree and a year of day-to-day residence hall management experience. So Chloe, as an actual RM, is in a realio trulio professional position. So there’s no escaping the conclusion that she is either incompetent or unprofessional.
I’m really not trying to make an argument for Chloe’s competence or lack of it generally. I’m simply saying her conduct with regards to Ruth’s breakdown has been reasonable and undeserving of condemnation.
Interesting! Was it Clint’s idea originally for Ruth to apply for the RA position?
Sounds to me that Chloe really doesn’t like making tough choices and actually is grateful for Clint to take this away from her. It also seems to me that she is very much an ‘old king log’ personality who would prefer to float serenely as a place of rest for the kids rather than take an active role.
Overall, I suspect that Ruth may yet conclude that she has to do this because she’s the only one who gives a shit about the residents (beyond “let’s avoid a disaster because it will mean more paperwork”).
High-profile flash-points, huh? On one hand it’s funny, like “this hall has all the main characters, they’re difficult and in the news a lot”. On the other hand, that sounds so shitty. Roz, who is at least related to someone who’s trying to get elected and has her porntape stuff. Carla who…is trans and that makes her high-profile because…Indiana. Yuck. And then, JOYCE, who DARED to be involved in a shooting!!!
Plus that’s shitty that the RA got fired. What was he supposed to do? They filmed it with a cellphone. Students can have sex in the dorms. The RA can’t just confiscate phones on suspicion of banging. Roz and Joe were consenting adults. Bad for the college as it is, publicity wise…blaming the RA is so shitty.
Honestly, I was hoping Unknown Evil actually meant Carla…who is maybe only actually “Evil” by Mary’s measuring stick, but even though helping people is probably as “counter to her brand” as “feelings” are, the times when she does stuff to help out makes it pretty clear that she’s generally got decent intentions at least.
Even if she’s not someone who’d ever want the job or probably be picked for it with her “flashpoint” status. She’d probably begrudgingly do a decent job of it though.
This seems like a job for angry Ruth. Ruth does not have to do anything, and she’s at a point where “Sir” can’t actually make anything worse for her.
She needs to tell Pudding Head (as I will now call her since she has nothing but pudding in her brain) that violating her rights and calling her guardian is not remotely acceptable, and could mean she could easily sue her. She should reveal that there is another flashpoint in that floor, and that she can reveal that you put a mentally ill person in charge of all the students on that floor.
And she should reveal “Sir” is her abuser and the reason why she is suicidal in the first place. And that, now that she’s getting better, she is NOT going to let him pull her back down again.
With any luck, he will slap her for her disobedience, and that will be the end of all of this.
It’s odd to me that some commentors do not see the red flags when they are far more obvious than what you see in real life, especially as visibly terrified/upset as Ruth is instead of hiding it behind her mask.
With all the whacky stuff happening while spotlighting the incompetence of the authorities, I’m wondering if its possible for IU to sue Willis for defamation.
I just realized this, but maybe the reason Howie is so nonchalant about his grandfather being here is that Ruth is the only victim of his abuse (whether physical or just verbal/emotional). Like in A Child Called It where the mom for whatever reason chose to treat one child as subhuman and doted on her other child as normal.
But in this case abuse could be all behind the scenes where not even Howie was made aware of it. Not that abusing both children would be acceptable, but only hurting one child is just as shitty, because then you have a sibling that doesn’t even know that you’re being hurt, and may not even believe you’re being hurt, kind of how Walky is oblivious to what Sal went through.
It was just bothering me why Howie can’t see that his Sister is scared of her grandfather and then it just clicked and now I made myself sad. How did I go from reading a comic about toys to Abuse Recollections: The Comic ™ (board game pending).
We don’t know much about Howie. But your take being right wouldn’t surprise me.
And being the older sister, by four years, I can imagine Ruth doing some selective obfuscation to shield her little brother. When one is that age a four year gap seems huge.
Ruth also has a touch of that protective side to her (i.e. screwing up herself and Billie, willing participant, is bad, but letting their affair slip to Mary, who uses it to hurt an innocent Carla, is much worse).
Never read that book, but I think the term you’re looking for is the “golden child” while the one who gets all the blame is the “scapegoat.” It sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s a pretty common occurrence.
Example anecdote: I had to go visit my biological father every other weekend. One weekend, I show up and immediately upon arrival get told that I’m grounded for coloring on the glass door to the guest room. Obviously I had not done this; I was 1.5 hours away when it happened. My step-brothers told them I hadn’t done it and that they had seen my younger step-sister do it. I was still the one grounded for that weekend. Same situation for missing money, viruses on computers, etc.
Additional comment: Isn’t Chloe going over her “problem students” with Cane Dad present a breach in confidential information? I know he’s family of a RA, but even so he has no reason or right to information about any other students besides his granddaughter. Granted, I don’t have experience with a school’s inner workings, but I would imagine it’d be like any other business: you don’t tell one client personal information regarding other clients.
Also, I really hope Chloe is aware of what’s going on and will try to help Ruth, because this is really painful to watch.
In this case there ia no expectation of privacy it was a public scandal Roz did everything in her power to apread it most likely locally. Common knowledge given that she posted it online and all the studebts were talking About it
I feel there is a cavalier attitude to the rules in general (or at least the rules the bosses have to follow), especially as she’s discussing disciplinary matters as well with an outside person on top of everything else.
It’s possible, but I think not likely. Ruth’s expressed concern about Howie being with him before.
And frankly, Howie’s behavior doesn’t strike me as normal nonchalance. We haven’t seen much of him, but I suspect he’s also abused and what we see is his coping mechanism – denial and withdrawal into fantasy.
He also made sure, without explicitly saying anything, to give Ruth at least a few seconds of warning that Clint was there. That might have been intentional.
He’s all smiles and thumbs up and eyebrows hovering in midair. So technically not nonchalant, but rather exuberant 😛 Even so, you’d think if he was aware of the abuse he wouldn’t bother keeping the facade on just for Ruth and Billie. He doesn’t even really warn her, Ruth put two and two together and had to ask him. And with that “nope!” I swear I could hear the ^_^ face being made. No, I’d much rather believe he’s ignorant to his Sister’s abuse, because without ignorance he just would come off as uncaring or cruel, and that’s not how he seems to be portrayed normally. Naive and obsessive, but not cruel.
Also wanted to give internet hugs/sympathy via appropriate levels of contact to whoever needs it D’:
I’ve always felt that my sister–the other one, not the favorite–seemed to put an awful lot of effort into not noticing anything was wrong.
I think her casual not-noticing-anything has impacted her behavior as an adult totally separate from being around our mother. She can be very… knowledgeable but not aware concerning the suffering of others.
Howie… might remind me of her. I’m not sure.
Exuberance and cheerfullness works GREAT as a coping mechanism for ongoing abuse. Like… literally smiling impacts mood, so smiling a lot and asserting that you are TOTALLY ALRIGHT is a working way of making the rest of your life that is not immediate abuse a little better. Of course, it doesn’t actually FIX anything, but this isn’t exactly an easily fixable situation period.
And then there’s the “this is totally normal and we have it pretty good compared to what could have been and sir grandpa cares” perception that I bet he goes to A LOT of trouble to reinforce. Ruth doesn’t seem like she actually discusses the shittiness of the situation with Howard, and he in turn would assume that even if something feels wrong, it’s just him.
(Sir Asshole would have taught him ALL the explanations. He’s just ungrateful, he’s just being a wimp, he doens’t know how lucky he is, etc)
The relationships – especially the bad ones in this comic are so well-written – and so are the characters!
To be honest, I didn’t completely understand what was going on here, until I read the comments and the people commenting that they experienced situations like this. Which might help everyone who didn’t know what they were seeing (and it seemed *weird* but I couldn’t put my finger on it), recognizing situations like this in the future.
Yeah, if Carla wasn’t trans people wouldn’t ever rethink an RA job where they’ll be blamed for not spying on their resident’s sex lives. Really it’s all on her. She’s such a flashpoint.
Well, now, to be fair, the issue is less that Carla is trans, and more that she’s That Ruttech Girl, which means her family would probably be upset if we openly abused her for being trans.
so, y’know, it’s not that she’s trans, it’s that she’s trans and we’re not allowed to treat her badly because of it.
Surprised by the lack of medical style input into this process. Ruth was just under suicide watch and medical care provided by the University. One might think that the nice doctor’s opinion about giving Ruth her job back might have been sought.
You might also discuss the matter with the student / adult involved, rather than presenting a fait accomplis to someone who is visibly fragile. I have trouble believing that IU’s legal / HR department would allow this due to the legal liability, so they probably weren’t involved. If this goes south, it could be worse than any sex tape and be the result of Chloe’s decision.
Chloe is using a short circuited process here, because it is short and she can get back to all the rest of her duties and other young adults busily making bad decisions. But Chloe is the one making a bad decision here. Bad Chloe.
She was not considered “someone relevant” and that tells you everything. Ruth wasn’t considered relevant in the decision making process, her doctor wasn’t considered relevant, only “sir”.
And I’m going to guess it’s because “sir” has very relevant money to donate or has other influence he can use to lean. So who cares about silly things like if it’s medically ethical or wanted by the person in question.
None of that actually falls on Chloe though. If there is money donated or other influence, it’s applied at higher levels than a Residence Manager. Likely the word has come down from above to bury this. She could push back, but she also thought, and somewhat justifiably up to now, that Ruth didn’t really want to lose the job.
I am rapidly losing what little faith I had left in Chloe, but not all of this mess is her fault.
Not being a professional in her direct dealings with her staff is entirely her fault though. Where pressure is coming from is irrelevant; if she’s getting leaned on by superiors or by Clint, her job (for the minimal bloody definition she seems to be taking it as that we’ve been seeing) is to discuss that with them and then if the outcome is a fait accompli that neither her nor Ruth have any realistic input to, then she takes that outcome to Ruth and discusses it with her separately.
Simply put, I just want to know why? Why is it so important for Clint to have Ruth stay on as an R.A.? There must be other jobs at the University that Ruth could do instead. So, why is this one so important?
This.
As someone (I should go look) noted in last strip’s comments, being RA provides structure, responsibility, but nothing (like actual income) which would allow someone to become more independent. It’s a millstone, a shackle.
And yeah, it’s a job that provides housing, not income, so Ruth is still dependent on him (and thus feels obligated to listen to his bullshit, because if she isn’t she doesn’t get any regular spending money). It’s structured, has responsibility, and is something he can boast about without worrying that she’s going to get all independent on him. And it’s clear he has a lot of access to her employers in this job and steer her employment, which he definitely wouldn’t have if she say worked for Galasso instead.
And that last point means he also can dangle the job like a Sword of Damocles. “I got you this job, I kept you in this job, I can take it away and leave you homeless if you disobey me again.”
Plus, it’s the job he’s chosen, and I imagine he’s the type of asshole who can’t ever bear to admit when he’s wrong about something, so fuck it. I chose RA so now you will be RA until I saw you can’t, not when you feel you can’t.
It’s kind of the perfect position for an abuser because it grants the least amount of freedom, while retaining the most “learning the value of hard work”, and giving the easiest route to claim that he fully funds her despite the fact that she’s working a fairly demanding job (especially on this floor, because main characters).
I mean, we can criticize the ethics/legality of bringing Ruth back to her position as much as we like, but don’t forget that this is the university that was apparently aware of her behaviour all along and fucking [b]encouraged[/b] her.
And I think we’re going to find out WHY.
I think the grandfather isn’t as bad as we think. Sure, he may have a firm hand in things (no not like that by any means) but I think he means very well for Ruth’s sake. I think she’s making it seem like he’s horrible when in reality, she’s the one with the problem and her grandfather is trying to push her to better herself. Not ALL of the parental figures in this series need to be total butthole. I think he means well for Ruth’s sake and I’ll give this university credit, the fact that they know ALL of this and THEN some and figure SHE’S the best fit for the job, says more about the school and less about Ruth, ethics or legalities aside…Unless there’s a large sum of money involved, in which case…*shrug*
I don’t think when the grandfather said the word “investment” he meant specifically money. There’s more than one way to invest into someone.
Meaning well does not make his shit non-abusive. The guy’s been dripping red flags since he got here and Ruth’s established he’s abusive a while ago. We’ve got no reason to assume she’s lying. Again, having the twist here be that the abuse victim is lying/exaggerating/wrong because mental illness is kind of a really terrible trope that needs to die in a fire. May as well end Sal’s storyline with ‘and the racism was all in the black kid’s head’ or Amber’s with ‘y’know, Amber’s kinda 100% irredeemable, she really DOES need AG to be a good person, guess her self hatred was right’.
Chloe: Ummm, we just established that you are the-
Ruth: Whoa whoa whoa! We can’t go against my Grandpa on this one.
Chloe: Your grandfather said-
Ruth: You were there. I said we should assign anyone to be RA other than me. And he looked me directly in the eye and told me, quote “You will do this. Ruth, you will do this.” He clearly approves of this plan.
And there was much rejoicing. Given that I’ve decided Chloe is both neutral evil (as compared to lawful or chaotic evil) and gullible evil, I’d actually give that plan 50-50 odds of success.
I think he’s just pushing a brand of tough love on her because he probably remembers what she was like before she became bitter (“Your stupid overconfidence is nostalgic”) and he’s trying to help, but she’s not making it easy by any means. You get back whatever you put forward, so, being a former soldier, dealing with someone who’s treating his efforts with insubordinate behavior, I can see his patience wearing very thin after a while. (plus, old people REALLY don’t give a shit after a certain age) Just my view of it. Cause, really, look at how she’s still VERY down on herself but the head R.A. and her grandfather still have faith in her. An abrasive means of it, yes, but still faith.
Yeah, it’s not like Ruth clearly doesn’t want this job anymore and he refuses to listen to her. Oh wait.
Seriously, this isn’t “though love”. He’s being an asshole: “oh, my granddaughter is suicidal? Whatever. Oh, wait, she might lose the job she hates? I MUST INTERVENE!”
That’s not faith, dude. Chloe just wants to go back to those times in which she could pretend everything was great with Ruth because that meant less work for her, and Clint is treating Ruth like she was in boot camp: you push them as hard as you can regardless of if they can take it, and if they break, oh well, it’s not like you cared about them in the first place.
Not on you, but I have a hard time interpreting “tough love” as anything other than making excuses for abuse given how much my dad insisted on calling his fucked-up shit “tough love”. I really only ever see it come up with regards to folks I know for a fact are abusing them in some way (the worst was the one using that to explain the way he was sexually assaulting a kid, luckily I think we got her out of that situation… I hope. Last I left it it looked like she was safely with her mom now.)
Yeah, “tough love” might be okay for physical trainers and drill sergeants, but not parent. Actual love and support are called for here.
Especially since Ruth isn’t being “down on herself”. She is depressed. Depression isn’t something that you can just power through. That’s why she was in the hospital. That’s why she’s got meds and therapy.
Hey, look on the bright side, Ruth. I think you’ve pretty much got carte blanche to to make out with Billie in the hallway and have your boss just smile that fake-looking smile and pretend not to see it.
A lot of people are (rightfully) calling Chloe incompetent and an abuse enabler because she’s missing all the flags with Sir’s words and Ruth’s body language.
It raises the question though: how responsible are bystanders for getting recognizing and involved in abusive situations?
We sadly live in a society that outright trains us not to stick out noses in the private lives of others, especially if they’re not friends or family.
I think Chloe is acting on a lifetime of social conditioning of “families have dynamics different from your own so don’t comment on it” and “don’t listen to mentally ill people because they don’t know their own mind” abd “parents know what is best for their children, even their adult children”
Not saying Chloe is off the hook here, since she still as a certain responsibility to protect Ruth; but I don’t think Chloe is actively malicious in ignoring the signals.
Okay, but, like, she just called several of her most vulnerable charges “flashpoints” for daring to be… you know… sexually active, threatened by a gunman, and transgender.
like.
she is BEING actively malicious. the question of whether she intends to be is kind of irrelevant.
Now this part, yeah, this part she can fuck right off over. Like it’s one thing to not recognize the red flags and assume you’re having a perfectly normal if awkward conversation and dismiss the clear cries of help from a survivor and another to just leak a really twisted way of looking at the world and dropping sensitive information about 18-20 year old kids to an unknown and unauthorized man just because he “helped” you out.
Like fuck, she even drops the details of disciplinary actions. Like, c’mon lady, that’s not small talk material.
Chloe isn’t a bystander. Making sure Ruth could cope with being an RA and doing it properly is Chloe’s JOB. Like, she’s getting paid to do exactly that. It’s like saying that a mailman is responsible for delivering letters, but not for delivering them to the right people.
I would agree that it’s very easy for bystanders to ignore what is happening, especially if they don’t have those experiences, but the red flags are really transparent so I’m disappointed that she’s not at least cottoning on to something being wrong even if she’s not sure what immediately and offering to discuss things one on one by having “sir” step out of the room for a sec.
But the sad reality is when bystanders ignore or act like an act of abuse in front of them is normal, it sends clear signals to the abuser that no one will stop them and to the victim that no one will support them and that they must be making up how bad it felt.
Not having people react more to my rape, including people I trusted very deeply (they said they were frozen in shock, which… so was I so yeah, I don’t blame them) led me to assume that was normal and that it would be impolite or unseemly to make a scene.
I don’t blame people who don’t intervene, but I wish more would. Or at least recognize what’s going on and reach out to survivors more and let them know that they see that and don’t think that’s normal or right. Cause that can be everything to a survivor.
When my friends talk about their unhappy childhoods, I always feel left out. Having had a non-awful childhood, I am grateful to those who explain in loving////// detail exactly why Sir is so horrible. So I am also grateful to someone who defends the position that Grampa Clint -might- be a sorta OK guy.
(leaving off here because I am sure that Willis has had his fill of artful trolls quoting Voltaire at him.)
So when I first saw these last couple of strips, my first thought was to write an alternate version where Sir gets called out, kicked out, and Ruth gains a responsible and empathetic elder as part of her support structure. But after a bit of thought, I have a better one:
Ruth decides F all this and starts to pack up to disappear on everyone (except Billie, who would stay connected via a secret el-cheapo pay-as-you-go phone) but then Carla decides to make up for miscalculating about Ruth’s home being “safe”. Carla convinces her parents to take Ruth in, and use technology to make things better. Ruth gets a new body that can’t be hurt, a new identity, and an emotional reset. And then when Sir shows up again to try and control her, he discovers that “Penny” is not programmed to obey him. She informs him she’s combat ready, whips out a bunch of knives, spins them around in the air, and blasts him with a green plasma cannon.
Yeah, I was hoping he wouldn’t be a monster but he is and it’s bad in a bad situation for Ruth. I will say that Chloe is now more interesting. I like that she’s a person who is normally nice but who throws people under the bus if it means her job being easier–there’s a lot of people like that in the real world.
Honestly he’s being cast as the villain here but I’m not seeing this. His grand-daughter fucks up (and yes, she did fuck up, even of it IS love) and loses her job. He comes and he gets her the job back. Would it have been preferable to have her be jobless? Worse yet, to carry around the mill stone of being fired for gross breach of contract?
I feel like more is gonna need to be done to really effectively cast this guy as a villain… Or is he not supposed to be one? Ho’s biggest crimes thus far are bad phrasing.
Question: You get a call informing you that someone you care about, someone you raised from childhood, wants to /die/ and broke rules at her job because of how depressed she is. Is your first course of action really to go and probably bribe her boss into not firing her? Because I am fairly certain a good parent/guardian/family member/person should be more concerned about the wanting to die part. When he first saw her after learning this, he didn’t even bother to ask how she was or if she was okay or why she didn’t reach out to him sooner. The first thing he did was say he fixed her mess, protected his investment, and isn’t she ungrateful about it! He didn’t take into account what she wants or even what is best for her mental health. Abuse isn’t always about punching and yelling. More often than not, it’s about subtle choice of words said with a smile to make the victim feel worthless and powerless. Plus, there’s a witness here (Chloe) that he has to look good in front of. If Ruth ever says “My grandfather is abusive and I’m scared” Sir now has the ability to shake his head, laugh, say she’s exaggerating for attention, and point out, “Did I really look all that scary to you when you saw me with her? I helped her, remember. I smiled and laughed and got her her job back, and now she’s trying to say I hurt her.” And then a discredited Ruth loses support and falls even deeper into his control. Just because he’s not wielding a shotgun, does not mean he’s not an abuser. If anything, he’s worse, because this kind of damage is a lot harder to heal.
I mean, I know it’s super easy for some of you to scroll past LITERALLY ALL of the comments on your way to the bottom of the page to leave your own, but I feel like you might benefit from slowing down on the way and reading some of them.
one of the two links to ‘comments’ from the main page will take you straight to the bottom and the new comment box, no scrolling needed. personally i find it frustrating when i click the wrong link cuz now i have to scroll aaaaall the way back up (on my phone) so i can read the comments, which is what i actually wanted to do rather than leave a comment. but, y’know, i can see why it’d be useful for driveby commenters in a hurry.
Well, she has stated that she doesn’t want the job. It’s implied that the job has contributed to her suicidal depression and that losing it, despite all the practical hassles, has felt like a massive lightening of her load.
He did not consult with her at all before doing whatever he did to get her the job back, he did not even inform her she was doing it. He is overriding her objections without even acknowledging them, just ordering her to do it.
He is denying her any agency or choice – she will do what he wants.
Now she has the millstone of knowing that she would have been fired for gross breach of contract and everyone knows it and knowing she only got the job back by some form of bribery or other deal. Made worse now that the girls on her floor know all about her and her problems – she’s not going to be able to rule by fear and has no idea how else to do it.
All that taken in light of the few comments she’s let slip about him and what we saw of the only previous interaction – the phone call that drove her to drink herself into a stupor.
Yeah, he’s the villain.
But you’re right, it’s going to get worse – by parallel with Ross, we’re about at scene where he showed up on campus looking for Becky and he’s talking to Dina. Then we knew what Becky’d said about running away and we had a few sketchy lines from him. It wasn’t until the next day (their time) that the gun came out.
The gun isn’t out yet. We’re not at the climax. It’s going to get worse.
It’s worse than that. Ruth’s worst side was brought out by the RA position that she HURT other students and intimidated them–presumably to feel something. She was an AWFUL RA and Chloe is just letting her slide because it benefits her patron and the university’s.
It makes all of her earlier niceness questionable.
“her patron”? Chloe’s? That doesn’t make any sense to me. She may be supporting it and is apparently a horrible judge of character and has little clue what was going on Ruth’s floor, but this isn’t really her fault. Whatever strings Clint pulled weren’t hers, but higher up.
My read on Ruth is more that it was only way she knew to keep anyone from realizing how much of a failure she was so she wouldn’t lose her job and incur Clint’s wrath. Not to minimize how bad that style was. I suspect Chloe’s style pretty clueless about how Ruth ran things. OTOH, I don’t think anyone has actually complained to her that we know of. OTGH, she hasn’t really made any effort to find out, again, that we know of.
But I don’t think Chloe has any personal stake in this, beyond the bother of finding another RA. Clint isn’t doing anything for her. She’s likely been told from her superiors to bury this and if she still thought Ruth wanted the job, she wouldn’t question that much. She’s certainly not showing her good side by shooting down Ruth’s protests though.
That seems awfully forgiving as everything I see about Chloe now makes me think of Sal’s elementary school principle. Her job isn’t to help the students, it’s to make problems go away and Ruth’s situation is a problem–only if it’s public.
Chloe, all you have to do is not hire her back. Just say, “OK, I’ll find someone else”. That’s it. You don’t have to hire her back just cause wants you to and why would you want to force her to anyway?
Technically, it’s not that easy. Ruth was never officially fired, so it’s not about “hiring her back”. She could be fired, but I’m pretty sure Chloe doesn’t actually make hiring/firing decisions and her superiors have been persuaded by Clint to do nothing here.
Ruth can theoretically quit, but she has to openly defy Clint for that. Chloe should be picking up on that conflict. That’s where she’s falling short.
whats terrifying is how… realistic this sort of abuse is in this strip. you can just tell that he thinks he’s being a motivator, a sort of push that maybe he would have appreciated when he was her age. but of course ruth isnt him, ruth is ruth, and ruth has mental illnesses that cant just be willed away. i wouldnt even be surprised if maybe he saw the warning signs of ruth’s depressions and, being from an older misinformed generation, assumed he HAD to push her harder. thatd even explain how howie has such a different view of his grandfather – maybe he never has pushed howie the way he does ruth.
All I get out of this is him seeing her making some sort of ties to Desantos/politics with his stern desperation to keep Ruth here. I’m not sure how as we only seem to know anything about him from Ruth/Shortpacked and potential political things there, but man this still hurts.
There’s a particular kind of dread that comes with experiencing or witnessing a prelude to abuse like this. It feels like having someone drop liquid nitrogen in your stomach.
That’s exactly how that last panel makes me feel. I should have known he’d be too smart to abuse her in front of an authority figure. It’s a pity he’s not as stupid or impulsive as Blaine, or as ignorant as Toedad. People who keep their bullshit beneath the surface are that much harder to stop, let alone punish or arrest.
… You know who I hope shows up soon? One of two people who I know could and would do something about this, regardless of whether it worked.
Amber and Billie. (Money’s on Billie.) Hell, even Howard would be able to stop him, if only because Clint wouldn’t want a witness, but I suspect Howie doesn’t know anything is wrong. 🙁
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“DeSantos are like Weasleys: can’t go two steps without tripping over one”
DANG IT VOTE FOR BECK 3 R.A. GUY NEXT PATREON BONUS
I’m curious who that is… but I don’t have patreon because I’m poor!
I don’t care who the Beck RA is; I want to know what a Star Trek hat looks like.
It’s a hat that looks like Star Trek. Not like anything from the program, but the concept of Star Trek in all its abstraction.
I just imagined a hat in the shape of The Enterprise (but which one??)
I imagined a hat in the shape of the Starfleet insignia/comm badge. 🙂
Pick any repetitive, dull meme, make it into a hat = Star Trek hat
Here ya go.
My wallet thanks you for its weight loss.
I’m also interested in how you did that. Special software product. Custom html+?
Ah. Special web sitee. Got it.
It’s not like there’s any other way to find that out.
In my innocence I made the rather ridiculous assumption there was no such thing.
The picture in my head is of Alex, the RA from Roomies!
Alex is Amber and Danny’s computer teacher (or ex-computer teacher). He was a grad student or up iirc and therefore not the RA.
*She was.
“I have failed the federation,” he forlornly sighs to himself while watching a montage of Piccard’s best speeches.
“The first duty of an of every StarFleet officer has always been to not allow people to bone each other,” thunders Piccard.
“How right you are, Captain,” he sobs and wipes his tears with the star trek hat.
“Please ignore Riker’s actions in every episode ever.”
…Was… Was that a title text in a previous comic? It’s like I’ve heard that before.
Asshole grandpa
For all I know, your episode was caused by your R.A duties but, I have unestablished and at this point irrelevant motives for you to keep this job but, your keeping this job and that’s final
Coming this fall to ABC!
Where do you think all the concern trolls go when there AREN’T abusive parents and/or guardians in the daily strip to breathlessly rush to the defense of?
(I’m just kidding, I know they pour in from 8chan. That’s the hip new BBS popular with all the up and coming fascists, right?)
They hide in wait for another to show their face.
Sometimes their slumber is long, but it is never too long in Willis’s Universes
Hi there, not a concern troll, agreeing that this is significantly better evidence that asshole grandpa, is, in fact, an asshole grandpa. Because now we have first-hand evidence.
You would have called me a concern troll yesterday without really understanding where I was coming from, I think. Hopefully you won’t today?
Look, internet memes peaked with Mr. T Ate My Balls, and Impact is the new Comic Sans. Also Polandball is just plain stupid. I really just don’t get imageboard culture.
If I may: Culture isn’t a thing you “get”. Culture is a thing that *is*, that other people either get dragged into, beaten down by, or have to work around.
It’s a rare few who actually benefit from any evolving culture whatsoever, and within each one, rarer still the ones who can hammer and forge it into something that *many* people will benefit from.
At all other times, to all other people, culture is a bus you get thrown under, or wind up being very disruptive on.
’nuff said?
Is this, like…an automated bot response to someone using the word “culture”? An internet community, especially that internet community, doesn’t merit such a defense.
Also that entire response was a goofy deflection, because arguing with the sort of person who willfully ignored all the arguments against them yesterday would be a waste of time.
Good thing I wasn’t here yesterday. Or defending them, for that matter.
They just exist, and they’re rather problematic, and trying to “get” them isn’t gonna do you any good.
Impact us the new Comic Sans? Does that mean we’re obligated to hate on Impact now?
No, for now Teachers don’t widely use impact, so it’s not as hatefriendly.
Why do people think we need first hand evidence? We have story structure.
Also we had first-hand evidence.
We’ve had firsthand evidence since before Billie came out of the closet. Literally.
To be totally honest, I’m not even sure why they read a comic like this when clearly it’s not the one they want, what with the awful bigots always turning out to really be awful bigots.
I figure they must be like all the SW fans who, somehow, never figured out that the Empire were supposed to be the bad guys.
I’m reporting you to Lord Vader. Then you’ll be sorry.
Maybe they jack off from being disappointed/angry everytime their beliefs get smashed with a hammer by the comic.
So…they’re emotional masochists? (I apologize deeply if I am using the term masochist in an offending or incorrect way)
Damn, they must be chafed as hell by now
Because they enjoy being jerks to everyone. It only takes one of them to actually read the comic, anyways. Then they go tell their friends.
There’s a message board I frequent where there’s another board on another site specifically devoted to this sort of thing. And the people on the first board just keep falling for it.
There is a simple algorithm to determine if a parental figure in this comic is an asshole parent. 1) Is David Willis the author? If yes, 2) Is the parental figure supposed to represent Willis’s parents? If yes, congratulations, you have confirmed that this parental figure is an asshole parent.
Or you coild look to see if the parental figure does something an asshole would do. Has everyone just forgotten about the phone call Ruth got way back when?
Yeah, kinda. It was a long time ago.
Anyone else think that Chloe looks like Dorothy’s next Pokemon evolution?
“What’s this?…DOROTHY has evolved in CHLOE.
Chloe has learned COMMUNICATION SKILLS.”
I would’ve thought that “Chloe is trying to learn a new move! Chloe forgets communication skills and learns being a gullible idiot” is more like it…
Yeah, I don’t know if it’s the framing of the comic, but I feel like Clint acting like that should be a warning sign?
But then again, abusers are generally p good at saving face in front of other people, so maybe he spent an hour or so schmoozing? Dropping in half-truths, untruths, and some well-picked truths to convince Chloe this was for the best?
Then again, maybe we’ll see something in the next strip so we can see Chloe’s reaction.
Well now I can’t unseen it
An appropriate reaction.
Wait, is her grandpa Dick Cheney?
Nah. This guy fought in wars. Cheney is a draft dodger.
Canadian Cheney, his non-union Canadian counterpart?
Made of steel, Canadian patriotism, and maple syrup.
“We must protect our borders! Americans are coming over and stealing all of our precious timber wolves!”
“And mooching on our universal health care! Let’s show them by building a wall that says sorry!”
But then what will we do for timber wolves?
They can eat the Americans who try climbing over the wall. We can’t let them go hungry, of course!
We must invest in renewable sources of timber wolves! We’ll create green jobs!
wait, sorry, got confused there — I’m Canadian, and thus saw “What will we do for timber wolves?” as what Canadians might do to help the furry fellas rather than Americans worrying about their supply of wolves.
Sorry, no, who you are describing is Mr. Canoehead, Canada’s only aluminum crime fighter, and brother of Ted.
And wanted by the International Court of Justice for causing war crimes. It’s why he can’t go to countries like, for example Spain. Because they would arrest him so he could be transferred to The Hague and tried for actions that he either directly ordered or was complicit in. It’s also, why he won’t leave the country. Bush junior is also wanted, but not for as many things because a lot of people are pretty sure that Cheney was the man really in charge, using Bush as a puppet. That fact that Bush junior is, or has done a very good job of playing up the role of, a complete idiot and also once nearly choked to death on pretzel really helps make that idea more credible.
So does that mean he will shoot someone in the face?
That does seem par for the course with this strip…
Nah, he’s Canadian, he’ll just beat them to death with a hockey stick. Accidentally.
And then apologize.
Yeah, this is most definitely an abusive relationship.
its like talking to my grandmother
God dammit Clint go fuck yourself
Shit, this gives me uneasy feeling and I feel bad for Ruth not just because this feels wrong but I think she really doesn’t want this Job.
Sooooo, anyone gonna be That Guy What Tells Us We’re Misjudging The Poor Storyline Villain today?
Nope! I knew he was a dickhead from the way Ruth responded to him on the phone. Everything else was just confirmation of the fact. 😐
He seems to be stern and stubborn with an intended path for his daughter to follow yet not entirely unthinking or unreasonable. That said Tywin of Game of Thrones was like this and he was a terrible father. But this guy doesn’t have the whole feudal system to concern themselves with and hatred of a child who killed their mother in child birth to hold him down to being a terrible father.
He’s Ruth’s grandfather, not her father. Ruth’s parents died in a car accident.
Also, I disagree: he IS unreasonable. His granddaughter is clearly expressing that she DOESN’T want to keep her job as an R.A., but he has already decided she will, and so refuses to even let her speak her mind: “You WILL do this.”
And how is that not like Tywin? My point stands.
If you want I can play Devils advocate.
…before today I would’ve answered that I’ve never asked anyone to play devil’s advocate in my life; however, this morning I asked my boyfriend to do just that while looking over a friend’s important speech.
Dammit *shakes fist*
Well technically Devil’s advocates would argue for why someone should be canonized. I’m a reverse devil’a advocate!
Shouldn’t be canonized
Dangit, why couldn’t I have seen this correction before I started writing a correction. >_>
Plus that would imply that I was arguing for Clint to be made a saint.
Well, they made Mother Theresa a saint. And as far as we know, Clint has never enjoyed seeing poor people suffering and eventually dying, denying them proper care or medicines, so…
No, the Devil’s Advocate argued against canonization. From the Catholic Encyclopedia:
Well, for some reason I never expected an actual religious history behind that expression. I always that it was just…
You know, just what it sounded like: Someone to present the “pros” (as in pro/con) to defend the unpopular, arguably worst and most abhorrent choice for what benefits it does provide. (Also making sense in Law because everybody has a right to a lawyer no matter how bad) This “worst” here would be the Devil, regularly used to symbolize evil.
I just connected the dots without thinking it referred to any specific historical role.
Wait. Avoid canonizing someone “…whose death is not juridically proved to have been ‘precious in the sight of God'”
That is so many kinds of wrong. I don’t even know where to start. God, death, precious, proved, death… canonization… Might as well say “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”
They do not. They’re very easy to wake. It’s afterwards you have to worry about.
Since she compulsively calls him “Sir” and they aren’t a grown up Marcie/Peppermint Patty lesbian couple, I think odds are good this will end badly.
Nor are they Marcie and Sal, but I’ll save that for fanfic.
Too bad, because that would be infinitely more pleasant than watching another abusive parental unit. Fucking factory malfunctions, man.
Nah, I learned my lesson with John Brown.
Tbf, I think there was like…a nanosecond before John opened his mouth where we could hope he was maybe less terrible than his mother? “Sir” was very broadly implied to be super fuckin’ abusive long before he made an on-panel appearance.
Clint’s dad left him to go live in Hollywood when he were 4, and he beat ‘im til he were 7. The guy’s had a hard life.
Let’s see –
What a nice grandfather, telling Ruth “you can do it!” when she needs more confidence in herself! He’s really trying to give her a boost and she should appreciate him for it!
– Nope, I can’t.
It seems like I missed a shit show yesterday.
Same. 🙁 Anyone who “fixes” a situation like Ruth’s in only a few minutes is a piece of shit. 😐
Would she have to stop dating Billie? Considering the RA isnt allowed to date the residents? Or something
Seeing as she doesn’t want the job maybe she’ll end up openly flouting that rule in the hopes of getting fired.
…wait, Roz’s sex tape was with an RA?
With Joe, naturally.
But in the Beck 3 R.A.’s area of responsibility.
…. by which I mean physical-space area of responsibility, because I’m pretty sure that stopping college kids from sexing and making videos of it and posting them online without his consent or preknowledge is NOT part of his official job duties, within his legal powers, or something he’s actually capable of.
It occurred in Joe’s room. So Joe’s RA was formally yelled at for “letting it happen” because ya know, RAs should be spying on all their resident’s booty calls to make sure they aren’t surreptitiously filming a sex tape. Because that’s not at all creepy and invasive.
Honestly, don’t know precisely how Star Trek R.A. could have stopped Joe aside from keeping him under surveillance 24-7 which is both creepy and impossible. And while the fact that he ended the first meeting early in order to watch a Star Trek marathon points to him being incompetent, the guys dorm seems like it’s holding together ok, so maybe he actually is good at his job when not distracted by Star Trek.
Oh, he couldn’t have. But I can definitely see the powers that be deciding to dress him down anyways for it, because Roz’s stunt embarrassed the school and got the Dean involved, so the shit from that was always going to flow downstream to whoever was on the bottom of the ladder.
If they place those monitoring neck thingies that the Doctor from Voyager likes to use on his patients, you could detect the PMHP and prevent it from happening with a couple shots of the off-button hypospray.
Or just have the ships computer monitor everyone’s brain waves – again, from Voyager.
Ok, what the hell? Was Voyager (never watched Voyager, or Deep Space Nine for that matter) trying to turn the Federation into some sort of “Big Brother” society? Because it sure as hell sounds like it.
There were some… issues with proper use of authority in Voyager that were not addressed to everyone’s satisfaction.
(Sf debris have a pretty hillarious set of reviews if you want to look into it)
It also had space lizards, time travel, and nearly every episode mashed the magic reset button. There are entire sites devoted to picking every episode of Voyager apart to find every reason Captain Janeway should be court-martialed.
To me, Voyager fills the lighter “let’s stop at a planet and have an adventure” role. DS9 and TNG have much better writing.
The spaze lizards did NOT happen!
For me Voyager is not a BAD show in itself, but it had such promise that it never lived up to that I can never not see it in the shadow of Voyager-that-could-have-been.
Which is a shame, because there is lot’s of it I like, including actors, characters and premise. Janeway, Kes, the Doctor and 7 in particular were AWESOME. If they just had been allowed something useful to do…
I liked VOY solely because the Borg fascinate me (so 7 of 9 is my favourite char). I also liked the Doctor, and thought the space bugs with the bioships (the Borg’s greatest enemies or whatever) were a cool idea. However, I lived in a third world country when VOY was running so I didn’t actually get to watch much of it, so I don’t know about this Marquis thing (or whatever) that makes the characters conveniently forget that some of them hate eachother until random moments near the beginning of the show, nor how they ended up in the Delta Quadrant in the first place, and also the only thing I know about how they got home was some random thing I read (possibly on Memory Alpha) that sounded like it involved a giant magic slingshot.
TL;DR: I think unreliable third world country telly allowed me to miss most of what people hate about VOY. I do know Janeway is the captain I dislike the most (I have not seen whatever the show was with Archer or whatever as the captain)
Many episodes had… unfortunate writing, but then out of nowhere you get episodes like Year of Hell or they let The Doctor have some fun. Or you have characters that are walking TV Tropes pages one episode then the next they get fleshed out a lot more.
Voyager isn’t a bad show overall, but I think DS9 was stronger overall. Hey it managed to stay on the air in traditional ratings death slots for years!
That specific example was just lazy writing to explain a plot point without taking the wider ramifications into account.
Given how much mind control bullshit every ship seems to suffer in that franchise, having the comp pay attention and look for unusual things just seems common sense.
Hey, Voyager was bad, but it wasn’t that bad. At least the entire series didn’t turn out to be a holodeck exercise.
That’s some “1984”‘totalitarian police state shit right there, and scary as all hell. Did this doctor ever get in trouble for using these things (I never watched Voyager or Deep Space Nine)? Because that’s just unethically. Starting to buy into the theory that the Federation evolved into an evil empire at this point.
The first was just a medical thing so he could release them from Sick Bay while still keeping an eye on the patient’s condition. The second is apparently just something the computer does.
The Doctor was a hologram, he could only materialize where there were holo-emitters (sickbay and the holodeck). He needed some way to track his patients’ condition when they left.
After a few years the writers got tired of that restriction and gave him a mobile emitter from the future so he could go wherever he wanted.
The doctor was an artificially intelligent hologram modeled on its inventor’s excentric personality.
Didn’t stop him from getting prosecuted or whatever in that one episode though ww
Remember that one episode on TNG where some Federation lawyer tried to claim Data as federation property, but the judge or whoever ruled in his favor because he was fully autonomous and they couldn’t prove organic beings have souls? Maybe that case set prescedence?
Or for that matter, how about the time Data hotwired the Enterprise and took it for a joyride to his dad’s house? (You can make any episode sound ridiculous by summarizing it in one sentence.)
Hey, remember that one movie where it turns out Kirk had a kid and then the guy from “Fantasy Island” kills him and sticks a space bug in Chekhov’s ear?
And definitely not illegal, nope, not at all.
Not if you’re the NSA.
With Joe, on that RA’s floor. I find it odd that the RA got in trouble for that one, personally, but maybe that’s just me.
It caused bad publicity for the school, so someone had to be found to take the blame.
So this is what would happen if Bruce Wayne became a Republican instead of Batman.
No, this is more mindgames and corruption than punching. Clint isn’t Bruce, he’s Lex.
Let’s hope he doesn’t become president as well.
A year ago, I would have agreed with that.
……..
*sob*
… oh, wait, you mean becoming president AFTER Trump, rather than replacing Trump. Okay, that I’m willing to hope doesn’t happen.
“President? Do you know how much power I’d have to give up to be President?”
I thought Bruce Wayne was a Republican, if he was a Democrat, he would spend money on improving Gotham to reduce the crime rates instead of indulging in billion-dollar high-tech ultra-violence while dressed in his fursona costume.
Um, he does both?
He does. Wayne Industries is single handedly responsible for creating and improving infrastructure around Gotham, particularly for orphans, widows, etc.
The fact it’s a tax write-off is entirely coincidental.
He uses the savings to equip Batman, D’UH!
Not with his views on gun violence. If he were a Republican, he’d be fighting with AR-15s and Magnums instead of Batarangs. So, you now, like Red Hood. Or Deathstroke. Or Deadeye. At the same time he seems to be a proponent of women’s rights and gender equality (Oracle, Batgirl, and at least one female Robin) and apparently believes criminals/super villains can be reformed and just need help for mental illnesses (the fact that all his villains end up in medical facilities, presumably without life-sentences and the fact that he’s constantly trying to reform them). Honestly, the only thing he really needs to do is set aside some of the Wayne fortune to help contribute to Arkham’s patient care and security (maybe hire a group similiar to Marvel’s Luke Cage Heroes for hire to provide a little extra muscle and stop breakouts) and he could probably solve even more of Gotham’s problems. Bruce Wayne is essentially Lex Luthor’s good counterpart. Although, I’m not sure if we know about his views on gay-marriage, although his cousin is gay and at least has her father’s support, so he might be pro-gay marriage.
So he’s a centrist.
Rebuked is a perfectly cromulent, if a bit nonstandard, word in this situation. Reprimanded is the one I would typically use, but I’m not constrained to speech bubbles.
“What about Dorothy?”
“Who?”
“Yeah, I don’t know either. I’m told she has a chart or something.”
*mass eye roll*
Mass Eye Roll sounds like a REM tribute band. Hell, with initials like that, that should be THE REM tribute band.
That chart is worse than the sex tape in a building where Mary and Mike live, because if they find out, they WILL try to get it, and be that much more dangerouss.
Off in the wings, listening in, Faz winces, folds up his easel, and quietly slinks away.
This guy behaves exactly like my abusive father. Humiliate and order in public – but deniably – and then excoriate and tear you to pieces in private. It’s been triggering as fuck to read, but worse to read people talking about how he was just stern, and military, and we should all stop misjudging him.
Also, Chloe, fuck you forever for calling Carla a “high-profile flashpoint.” For being trans. Oh, or even worse, perhaps for being trans and someone they couldn’t just sweep under the rug without notice if something goes wrong. Just fucking UGH.
Regarding Carla, look at how some people react to trans people. CARLA’S not the problem, but how others REACT to her could be if she’s outed for all to see. Some people on the floor know (Mary) but some don’t seem to (Joyce). And even if the STUDENTS are accepting, no telling what their PARENTS would do. I can see Joyce struggling with the concept but ultimately accepting Carla as Carla based on knowing her before being aware of Carla being trans, but we don’t know how Joyce’s parents would react, for example.
I’m waiting for the inevitable chapter where Joyce finds out about Carla being trans, and not knowing what to do runs to Jocelyn, and finds out about her as well.
Fingers crossed that”s exactly how it goes down.
By that exact same logic, they shouldn’t have had dark-skinned RAs a few decades ago. And they shouldn’t have gay RAs today.
That logic seems to pop up whenever people want to enforce the idea that some other group of people shouldn’t be treated like normal people. “Well, it’s not that I want to treat them differently, it’s that other people treat them differently, so I have to!” No. No, you don’t.
The only people who should be abused that way are comic artists who certainly aren’t normal people.
I think you may have misunderstood (or I have, and you can totally stick your tongue out at me). She’s referring to the “flashpoints” as people who are possible sites for trouble on the floor, not people interested in the RA role. Although Roz is obviously still both.
Could be talking about how Carla could be targeted for violence. Or possibly that it could be referring to how confrontational and abrasive she acts to some people. We don’t exactly have the complete context. But the fact that she’s letting a situation of abuse like this happen in front of her still doesn’t put Chloe in a positive light.
Not to defend pudding lady, but I don’t think she meant it like that – she mentioned her family’s company, not her being trans, and I believe her being from a successful family is semi-public knowledge.
And asshole gramps here would have no idea about her being trans, anyway.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/ruttech/
Carla mentions her family company here. So yeah, her being at the school, regardless of her being trans, would make her someone to be aware of in case there’s trouble.
Yeah, that’s how I read that too.
Carla is like three separate high-profile flashpoints completely independent of her gender.
It’s probably not just for being trans. Carla’s personality is one of someone who’ll escalate a situation, given the chance. And IIRC, Mary had never attacked her for being trans until after Carla was repeatedly rollerblading around in the hallway and nearly ran into her? I might remember that one wrong.
We’ve seen more conflicts arise from Carla simply being herself than from the fact that she’s trans.
The only time Carla nearly ran into Mary is because Mary lay down in front of her rather than get an authority figure (like Chloe or security if she didn’t trust Ruth – justifiably so, she’d been struck by Ruth once and manhandled by her on another occasion).
Yes, you remember it wrong.
Mary didn’t bring out the misgendering until the very end, but she was the one who initiated conflict, at every single point. The ‘very nearly ran into her’ part never happened, for instance. She actively avoided running into her, despite Mary actively putting herself in the way.
Carla was rollerblading through the halls, which is certainly a rules violation, but not an attack on Mary, or even an inconvenience to her. Nor is her refusing to bow to Mary’s unreasonable demand.
In complete and likely-undeserved fairness, Carla would be a flash point regardless of whether she was trans or cis. BECAUSE CARLA.
…. also, in further and undeserved fairness, Carla being trans (and also the child of famous parents) DOES make her a flash point. It’s not her fault in the slightest, but it does make her a target for everyone from bigoted pastors to Mary to… well, y’all know the list. Needing to be someone who can deal with that (which even a take-no-crap R.A. like Ruth wasn’t) DOES up the load on whomever’s in charge of the hall, which could make people hesitant to apply for the job and force Chloe to further filter out the applicants than she normally would.
…. fuck it, I’m not feeling fair tonight. DIAF, Chloe. … I mean, get in a line and wait your turn after Ryan, Blaine, and some others, but DIAF.
all of this, yes.
All of this.
My dad was also really into this. Portray the magnanimous guy who “just wants best for his wayward son” in public or in group spaces and turn up the awful to 11 in private. It’s why this whole thing has been really terrifyingly familiar since minute one.
And yeah, fuck Chloe for that. And that’s a nasty confirmation that Carla has the private room for the more common reason* trans kids get private rooms rather than something genuinely well-meaning.
*That their presence could be “disruptive” so you reduce the amount of interactions with others and visibly separate them so you don’t lose Title IX funding for refusing to house her with others of her gender, but you also send clear signals to the trans student to keep quiet and out of sight so that there’s no “complaints”.
As I said yesterday, he’d also been behaving similiarly to my father, who is not and never was abusive. Clint’s behaviour in this strip however is not something I could see my own father doing to me.
It might still be chalked down to the generational gap and Clint genuinely believing that he knows what’s best for Ruth and if she’d only do exactly as he says everything would be fine. I do not think that is the case, I’m just of the opinion that it’s a possible explanation, and even if it were the case he’d still be abusive, he just wouldn’t realise it.
For all practical purposes Clint is confirmed as asshole grandfather.
And as others have pointed out, Carla is a “high-profile flashpoint” for being the child of the Ruttechs, not because she’s trans.
I’m kinda losing respect for Chloe for not recognizing this. Or for ignoring it in order to get her “good” R.A. back.
Really hoping she says something in the next strip. These last few lines show a serious power imbalance issue between Ruth and gramps, so maybe that will prompt Chloe to speak up.
I lost respect for Chloe a long time ago. She has flan for hair -and- brains.
It is pretty bad… I don’t understand the Beck thing… I love that Ruth knows she shouldn’t take it again. She seems like the type that will back down to the guy. The moment she saw him she went to military sir mode.
Okay. So far, we’re 2-for-2 on asshole fathers getting the leaving hell beaten out of them.
Let’s make it 3-for-3, then.
The fact that he has actual combat experience complicates things, I suspect.
Still no match for Amazigirl or Joyce’s fists of doom.
Considering the timeframe, I guess he fought in Vietnam. Does anybody know how much training in hand-to-hand combat did U.S. troops get back then?
Even so, it’s 40+ years later and he walks with a cane. He may not be a huge threat.
Also the “I fought in wars” thing only comes from SP!, right? It might not even be true in the Dumbiverse.
Can I propose in light of the above to maybe NOT punch an old man who walks with a cane
I suddenly became very uncomfortable with the idea. Toedad was threatening to kill someone.
Yeah, I don’t actually think he deserves punching, from what we’ve seen yet. Just to be kept away from Ruth and out of her life. And a serious intervention on Howie’s behalf.
I’m not worried though. He’ll earn his punches soon.
Dude, LOOK at that guy, anyone who picks a fight with him is going to get about as many hits in as seconds they have left to live.
What if that someone is, for instance: a semi? One large truck. Glancing blow, no mortal wounds, just a Full Body Cast of Irony +5.
He’s got a cane. It’s a fight not a match, no Marquis of Queensbury rules. Go for the bad leg, most likely the one opposite the side on which he holds the cane. Once down proceed to kick repeatedly in the soft parts.
If you actually need to fight someone, especially someone you think can beat you, fight dirty enough a pig would feel the need for a bath after.
Then again, he has a cane. He could probably get a couple good whacks in before you get within melee range.
Those were both physically-violent asshole fathers. Clint is abusive, but it remains to be seen whether he’s PHYSICALLY abusive. Or whether that distinction matters to Amazi-Girl.
I sure hope it doesn’t. Clint deserves to get the shit beaten out of him imo.
What I’m worried about is that this is the first character like this who I could easily imagine pressing charges afterwords.
This is America. Just have a straight white male college student beat him up and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
…or, since there isn’t one in the main cast, just have Walky, Dorothy, and Mike take turns and hope nobody looks too closely.
Give Mike carte blanche to punch him in lieu of cash and he’ll do it. He’s a white guy most people don’t know is into guys. Clint sure wouldn’t.
C) I think it’s been implied Chloe has been keeping an eye on the floor while she looked for Ruth’s replacement.
She stated it outright, actually.
For the luvva Cheese, Chloe, pick up what Ruth’s trying to say. The poor girl felt so damn trapped she tried to will herself to die, discovered the world DOESN’T suck and hey, she wants to live after all, and now Sir’s coming along to “help” in a way that Ruth doesn’t want. So hard being on this side of the fourth wall knowing the student characters are mostly 18-20 and not being able to offer help they need.
Well, the biggest catalyst for her stress at that point was Mary, not necessarily the RA job itself. At this point, Ruth’s relationship with Billie is out in the open, more or less. If she’s reinstated as the RA anyway, it’s not as if Mary CAN blackmail her with that anymore.
Probably’d need a few more days to see how that plays out, but to Chloe, Ruth getting her job back WITHOUT the risk of being blackmailed probably looks like the best case scenario for her – especially if she’s getting therapy and medication to help her deal with the underlying depression.
Even to me, with the conflict between Ruth and Billie cleared up (as that was the issue earlier on), and Mary powerless, I don’t honestly see what would be so awful about the situation. She’s clearly got some issues with her grandfather, yeah, but that seems to be a separate thing from the RA position, even if he’s invested in her returning to it for some reason. With no stressors this time around, and actually doing something about the depression…
Mary’s blackmail was the nadir (to date), but Ruth was on a downward curve long before then. Long before she met Billie, even.
Agreed. The RA thing finally broke the camel’s back and she lost the illusion of control she had over her life.
Ruth pretty much said she doesn’t want to RA. Getting fired would be a light at the end of the tunnel. And she wasn’t feeling trapped by the job, she was trapped by the expectations of Sir. Ruth thought she’d managed to mess up in such a way that Sir would be forced to dial it back (“Hey, I got fired for rather valid reasons AND nearly died, guess shit happens.”) and he really hasn’t.
Becky is not a student here (the incident was probably reported as “an Anderson student got kidnapped) and Joyce made the news attacking Toedad
Not a resident of the dorm in order to be the RA’s responsibility.
“Brown kid?! OH, oh, Joyce, okay.”
I thought the same thing! XD
Jeez, the Gravatars…
“W-which one is the real Amazi-girl, and which one is the clone?”
“I’m the real one!”
“No, I am!”
They’re going to wind up split into Amazi-Girl Yellow and Amazi-Girl Blue.
That would be a shocking development!
They’re both imposters!
Shades of Fallout 4 here.
The chorus started up again, “Which one is Willis? Which one is Willis? Which–Which–Which one is Willis?”
Mike. And Ethan. And Joyce. And Walky.
Mike is Willis? Huh.
My quote was actually from Red Planet by Robert Heinlein – one of the Martians is given the name Willis by a human. When I read “W-which one is the real Amazi-girl…?” I remembered this quote and it seemed too funny not to post.
Same here. For a sec I thought Chloe was being massively racist on top “forgettable”.
Nah, it’s obvious that Joyce is in the pink of health.
Yeah, me, too.
It wasn’t just me!!
I actually went from “she’s racist” to “she’s nonsensically racist” for several seconds, before realising.
Because Becky didn’t punch the shooter in the face?
ಠ_ಠ
Come to think of it, I’m surprised she wasn’t outed as not being a student from all that. But maybe that’s why Joyce is more the face of everything.
Umm, am I the only one who thought of yoda when grandpa said, “you will do this, … you will do this.”
I almost expect tomorrow’s strip to be about going to the dark (dork?) side.
That is literally the opposite of what you repeatedly said yesterday.
Fortunately, like all Trekkies (Trekkers?) the Beck 3 R.A. was able to be bolstered by an all-night dvd marathon of his favorite episodes from OS and tNG, along with some even-numbered OS movies.
*waits probably no more than a minute for someone to get the added geek reference*
You know, there is evil, and then there is unspeakable…
Plus Galaxy Quest.
Fuck this guy.
I hate these moments. I hate them a lot.
I didn’t love her
I never needed her
She was willing and that’s all there is to say…
Don’t forsake me
Please don’t leave me now!
A Heart Needs a Second Chance–38 Special
Y’know I think Clint might have just suffered a mini stroke.
Fucking good.
Becky’s not a student and Joyce is the only one who got injured during the incident.
So what happens if she says no?
She already said no. Several times. Not getting her very far.
You’re acting like she has any input to a decision that’s already been made.
Because Becky’s not actually a student, so information on her would be more sparse. Joyce on the other hand is someone that plenty of people see regularly. On top of that, she’s also the one who punched the shooter out and busted her hand in the process, which would only further heighten her profile.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They have been taking great pains to keep the school administration from knowing Becky is living on campus.
Becky isn’t in the running for RA, though, due to not being a student.
I personally prefer High-Profile Crises on Infinite Earths.
Please. High-Profile Secret Wars is where it’s at.
I hate her eyes. Those are the eyes of a girl who wants to die. They were so good for the last few day she was getting so much better.
Yeah, that’s what makes these strips even more awful than they already are. We saw her starting to recover and rebuild her life and then here comes “sir” to fucking blow right in and nuke it all to the ground and reduce her to a broken mess once again. And seeing how successful he is at it…
Fuck, I’ve seen it too many times in too many people I care about’s eyes.
Dying would be an escape.
Therefore, it will not be permitted.
Okay, so I kinda forgot that Joyce’s last name was “Brown” for a second, and so when she said “the brown kid,” I thought… um…
Yeah, that All Capital Font makes it hard to tell when you’re dealing with a proper noun or a common noun.
Willis should consider a switch to Comic Sans.
‘And you’ll like it.’
You’re not helping. >:|
Hands up if you had a parental figure who abused you because they said your own behavior (while perfectly acceptable) reflected poorly on them.
*Raises hand*
Present.
Yuuup.
Mine tried to “man me up”, so I wouldn’t turn out to be a . Joke’s on him – I’m not just gay, I’m a woman, too! Not sure which of those was the bigger surprise for that piece of shit.
What the fuck is with transphobic dads and obsessing about “manning us up”. My dad was really big on that as well.
Pretty sure thats just Man101 from the OldSchool of School of Hard Knocks.
Being a man is filled with horrible things and being man enough to deal with horrible things by not having emotions and dealing with the world through a haze of testosterone and baseless confidence that you can outman anything. Or…something.
I’m pretty sure it had about a generation left on it, maybe two before the idea of the “Caveman Alpha Man” died out, but not sure if we’re scheduled for a Manpocalypse now in the hopes of delaying the extinction of that mentality, even though honestly its toxic to everyone involved. I mean, Joe in the comic is an example of the “usual best case end result of a man’s man’s life” , and its pretty clear that he’s got issues he tries to bury behind the act.
Who would even want to man up and grow a pair? Internal organs hanging outside your body in elbow skin that hurt if you sit wrong? I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some men think they are so very awesome.
The odd thing about manning up is that it doesn’t just happen with parents and their transdaughters. I’m a cis woman and my dad tries to constantly man me up in the emotional and illness/pain department, but I’m not allowed to acknowledge being anything but straight woman who likes white guys. He also gets pissed when I cuss because girls don’t do that, when I got a tattoo (and still randomly after a year later), when I defend minorities and LGBTQ (because according to him I’m not one of them and have no dog in the fight so I just like to argue), when I say tamer stuff than my nephew or he or his boys have said (dad was a hippy and I know way WAY too many details but I can’t say anything remotely PG13), when I cut my hair short… I think they are just that way. Can’t wait until next month though. Getting my pixie hair streaked blue and a second ear piercing and starting on the sketch work on my next tattoo because I’m over 30 and tired of having him dictate what I do with my body. I think that’s 1 good thing about parents like that. When all the fucks run out, we showcase our uniqueness without being afraid of what others think because we spent too many years like that.
So, wait – you’re supposed to be explicitly mannish in your ability to absorb pain, but if you so much as cut your hair you’re too mannish? Yeah, it all sounds like he’s purely a control freak.
Ugh. I heard a song the other day – something about “Don’t tell me to smile and then criticize the words that leave my mouth – I’m not a paper doll you can cut to shape, paper perfect, paper thin…”
Welcome to my world. Ever got cussed out for dropping a dryer sheet on the floor? Ever had to stop watching a tv show you like to put lotion on someone’s feet? Ever had a 9 pm curfew at 11 pm bed time in your 30s? Ever have to hide who you are so well that you feel like you are tiptoeing through a minefield every day of your life, but have to feel grateful for it (I’m disabled and my mother was so abusive she nearly killed me) as the anxiety, stress, and depression eat you alive? I have.
Yup, with bonus blaming me for “ruining the family” by refusing to give in to the abuse.
ACON present. Biological father started calling and sending texts again the day before yesterday after a month or two of blissful silence, just in time for Sir to show up. -_-‘ Nightmares yesterday, nightmares today…probably gonna be nightmares tomorrow, too.
Thank goodness for having THE best mother in the whole world to make up for it.
This is patently impossible.
for I have the best mother in the world.
Are you prepared for a “My Mother is Amazing!”-off, mate?
>.>
I tend towards being conflict avoidant and not making waves, so I’ll cede.
She has her faults, like everyone does.
The only rational course of action is to ask Mike to judge between them.
*Waves*
Becky MIGHT be recognizable, but everyone who sees her (and isn’t in on the conspiracy) thinks she’s just visiting.
Joyce is relevant to this conversation because she’s actually within the R.A.’s sphere of responsibility. Becky, to the knowledge of everyone present save Ruth, is not.
Uh, maybe look at what she’s talking about.
There are kids that live on the floor that potential RAs don’t want to deal with. The Brown kid is one of them; Becky is not one of them, by virtue of not being a resident in the first place.
Okay. Fuck him. Hate him already. He reminds me of too many people after I suffered from depression and had to go in the hospital for a bit. It’s not instantly over. It’s not something you just get over. It takes weeks to adjust to being out even after a short stay and months to feel right. You physically and mentally can’t handle stress. Your moods are everywhere and nowhere switching on and off like a blinding light in a dark room. There is something that breaks inside of you when you go from having suicidal thoughts to wanting to die rather you fight long enough to get help or can’t and survive it. That takes time to mend. And everybody is pissed at you, shoving massive amounts of religion in your direction, or accusing you of not being serious or after attention. And you might fall back down again wanting to end it all if you don’t have a support system. Guys like Sir here are the anti support system. They tear us down when we are venerable and call us weak and selfish when we die. Fuck him.
That’s a good way to put it. Anti-support system.
Cause there’s a unique way fuckers like this have of just draining energy and progress from a person and reducing them to a wreck that needs days of recovery. I used to be a mess every time I visited home and made sure I always scheduled one weekend day before I had to go back to work so I had time for collapse.
Thank you Cerb. Also, I’m sorry that you ever had to deal with any of that mess. Do you ever have to deal with them now?
I only occasionally contact my mom any more and even that is really minimal and is like a text message with no information about my life every couple of months or so.
I’ve got my dad’s email, number, and home phone number blocked and he hasn’t tried to contact me through my mom’s phone, so he might not realize I’m in contact with her through that or he might actually respect my mom enough to leave her some privacy or he might actually remember he disowned me this time. I’ve got my uncle’s email blocked and he hasn’t tried to phone me but he sends a lot of physical letters I immediately throw away, though I always check to see if he’s apologized, because I’m weak like that.
None of them get to know anything important about my life (I haven’t even told them my real name or that I’m getting married as I don’t trust my mom not to spill that information to a person who’d try and hurt them). They do all know my home address, but so far no surprise visits though part of me is always a little scared that my dad is going to show up randomly one day or call me through my mom’s phone to harass me. But so far so good.
End result, I haven’t seen them in person or in any real meaningful contact for years and I’ve been so so much healthier for it. Accepting my final disownment was really the best decision I could have made. Though it was scary as hell at the time because of the economic uncertainty (I was almost certain I’d end up homeless and I very nearly did end up homeless).
I’m so glad you had the strength my dear. My best friend is currently in the thick of a similar situation herself except her mother tried to ruin her wedding because she would not have the wedding exactly as her mother wanted, deal with threats, be constantly insulted, and have racist Asian comments thrown at her husband to be, so she kicked them out of her life, eloped, and went on a lovely honeymoon. It’s been hard because her mother is constantly texting and emailing, has her voice mail full, and even calls her job! I hope it eventually evens out like it did with yours. At least they are blocked now (her brother and mother are the worse offenders with her father justifying everything they do).
Have you thought of mailing them a Christmas card or the like with a picture of you and your new spouse at the wedding with names below? The important ones are blocked so you hopefully wouldn’t have to worry too much. It might be good closure to tell them you are happy and successful without them even if you don’t put it in words.
Speaking of the wedding, has your fiancé decided what they will wear? Will they go with traditional female or male garb or will they go with a hybrid like a black dress with a tuxedo inspired top half? What about your dress? White or color? I adore a lot of the color ones myself. Also, in case I come off weird, my mamaw was a seamstress sewing everything from play clothes for poor children to wedding dresses so my curiosity is less fashionista and more something that I was raised around.
They’re masc-leaning agender/genderfluid, so I think they’re planning on wearing a suit or a nice dress shirt and vest. I’m planning on wearing a nice red dress and am debating whether to pair it with a black skirt cause it’s a little shorter than I tend to wear on its own but that might be appropriate for the occasion. And planning to do it at the City Hall on Trans March unless we choose to delay it again.
I’m pretty excited.
And yeah, no, I’m not planning on sending them anything. Let them think I’m in a ditch somewhere starving to death if it at least means my partner is safe and they’ve got no means to stalk me by my real name online.
I bet it will be awesome. I hope you take plenty of pictures! And color is great to have as it can be worn again. And please don’t delay again! Be happy and wonderful with the person that you met by chance that suites you so perfectly.
My best friend went to Italy with the money saved by eloping and my nephew and his wife went to a nice relaxing small town with lots of local history and a spa a few hours from here for their honeymoon. Any plans for a honeymoon for you two?
I can understand that for sure. I haven’t talked to my biological mother in over a decade. It’s their loss. 🙂
I’m a teacher and their a grocer and we’re both wanting to go back to school so we’re probably going to do the delayed honeymoon thing so we can turn it into a “flee the country and never look back” if we need to *coughs meaningfully and glares at the nearest Trump Tower*
Some of the most lasting harm that deranged turd blossom will do to this country will be all of the awesome people he chases away.
I wish the best for you both, wherever you end up
Lmao! Oh god yes. That is just a garbage fire right there. Let’s increase military budget and cut back on planned parenthood, health care, meals on wheels, arts and humanities, low income housing and aid, and basically everything. Just fuck everybody that’s not rich. We won’t force that poor single mother to pay for others food, just a tank… oh and we aren’t gonna give her as much food. She might be buying outrageous unnecessary stuff like a smartphone or a refrigerator! Plus people are overweight anyway and by giving her less free food she won’t get obese! And if that kid gets cancer we will promise to stabilize it every time it has to go it the hospital before sending it home to live a long and happy… oh it died.
That’s a very good term. As part of the support system for some people I know very well when I’m needed. When they have been in contact with their “anti-support system” is prime time.
Oh yes. They have a talent for making even good days turn sour :\
It took me reading this comment to remember that Brown is Joyce’s last name. I was very confused reading the comic and thought she was talking about Walky or Sal. Oops. I blame the all caps text format. My bad
Same mistake here too
i had to read the strip a few times before i remembered Joyce’s last name is Brown, yeah
Oh Ruth…
“I have decided. What you want, or think, is irrelevant.”
Hopeful outcome: Chloe knows exactly what is going on but is playing the game to keep “Sir” unaware. After he leaves, there’s a private conversation between her and Ruth about taking the responsibilities off her shoulders while maintaining the ruse for official purposes.
Best possible outcome: Ruth defies “sir” so hard that his facade cracks in front of witnesses, his subsequent violence buys him a cell next to toedad.
Most likely outcome: Chloe, being a college official, sympathizes with Ruth’s plight just enough to pretend to care, but when it comes to action the most she can manage is a carefully phrased version of “Sorry you’re abused, but it’s too much work to give a shit. You’re on your own.”
I don’t know if it’s just that anyone looks good compared to Clint, but I’m inclined to think the best of Chloe; she might be interpreting Ruth’s reaction as “Due to my psychological breakdown, my self-esteem is shot and I am convinced that I am not worthy of holding any position of authority, even if having the added reason to get out of bed in the morning might actually help my recovery.” rather than “I do not want the job, dear god don’t make me go back to it.”
And if she notes Clint’s abusive behavior, then the job means Ruth gets to keep living away from him (while minimizing the risk that Clint would make things suck for everyone involved if they go against him).
The facade almost never breaks in front of others. Many times, there’s no physical violence because physical violence leaves signs that can’t be hand-waved away as the victim’s own shortcomings and misinterpretations of events.
Yeah I know. Didn’t say it was a likely one. I just really want to see a villain burn.
I’m hoping for something similar to your hopeful outcome, where Ruth remains “officially” RA in order to keep Sir placated, but they bring Dorothy in with the idea that she won’t be an official RA because she’s a freshman but that she can be an RA-in-training or something similar that she can put on her resume.
Ok, so I think I’m beginning to get a handle on why people were dreading the arrival of what I can only describe as an elderly Senator Armstrong
Ruth’s eyes are black dots again. She’s not human anymore
Three things.
1) Remember yesterday where I went on a giant rant using the adjective form of “fucking” a lot? Yeah, I’ve kinda spent the past half-hour doubling down on that rant. But changing “fuck him up the ass with a wooden stake” to “fucking flay him alive and impale him on a fucking pike”.
2) Chloe, I have a question for you. Are you deaf?!?!? Listen. To. Ruth!!
3) Wait, someone actually nominated Joyce to be RA? Cause, she never volunteered herself, so who did?
I think that isn’t a list of possible RAs — she specified “on the floor,” and they could bring in another RA from elsewhere — it’s a list of people on their floor who would make being an RA difficult. Thus, it’s “a much shorter mile” because less people are eager to take on this particular opening.
No, she means Joyce is a high profile flash point and the RA would have to be responsible for her.
On #3: Chloe’s listing ‘flashpoints’, not the people who were in consideration for RA. So, even worse in the “the people who need our help are problems” sense.
Well, they are in a sense. Not that it’s their fault or anything, but that they make this particular floor more challenging and thus harder to find an RA for. There’s a lot of potential crises concentrated on this floor – it’s a big challenge for some 19 year old kid to take on.
The troll posts have been removed and I am very happy about that.
I am less happy about poor Ruth and Chloe’s continued uselessness.
Pudding Head isn’t useless. She’s actually actively fucking everything up right now.
And, yeah, that’s the name I have for her now. I avoided it before because it implied she was stupid. But she really does have pudding for brains if she thinks what she did is remotely acceptable.
Flashpoints in the dorm? How about every parent finding out that the RM let a suicidal and abusive RA be in charge of their kids?
And, yes, Pudding Head knows about at least some of Ruth’s abusive behavior. And she should be fired for sharing medical info with Ruth’s “guardian” (not that he’s even legally that anymore.)
Fun fact: they generally won’t let you refuse to put down emergency contact info. She may have written him down because she didn’t know what else to do. He may have even ‘looked over’ her forms before she handed them in :/
Yeah, there was a period where emergency contact was fun because I needed to put down something but I definitely wasn’t going to give my family an in if something went wrong. I had to get a bit creative for a bit.
Are there any links to previous interaction between Clint and Ruth?
It’s mostly implied. The one interaction we see is this one: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/sir/
Mostly it’s little things she says like in this strip: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/escape-2/
I’m curious if that ringtone is JUST for Sir or if it’s her regular ringtone.
I’m going to say that’s her normal ringtone since she seemed annoyed to be getting a call, not dreading hearing from “sir,” so she didn’t realize it was him calling. It would be the perfect ringtone for his personality though.
Man, here I was thinking Clint (Jesus, Willis, give the dude the name of my best friend, my cousin, AND a fictional character I like, WTF) just wanted her to stay because he didn’t want her at home/in his hair. The “embarrassment” aspect of it didn’t even occur to me and probably bodes a lot worse for poor Ruth.
I had a similar breakdown my senior year, only with less responsibilities and no alcohol. That was bad enough. Poor Ruth.
Who the fuck is Beck 3?
Beck 3 is the Beck Wing of the third floor of this residence hall, where Joe and Danny (and likely a few others we know) live.
The Beck 3 R.A is the trekkie who’s nominally in charge of them but in practice DGAF.
Beck 3 is clearly Becky’s as yet unrevealed final form
We are not yet prepared for Hyper Seraphic Lesbian Becky.
Wait. What are you going to do to prepare?
Am I the only one who’s interpretting Clint in Panel 4 as possibly thinking “Hey, valuable political connection for us/me to forge. It’s settled. Ruth will do this.”
No but I prefer getting more details and conformation, before I decide what kind of stones I should throw.
“My investment is paying off!”
I doubt it. As far as we know, he isn’t involved in politics, or anything that would benefit from having ties with politics.
Personally, the “investment” he’s talking about is Ruth’s college education.
And the fact he views his granddaughter as an investment is another reason as to why he’s a jerk.
*slowly and meaningfully sharpens a demon-slaying blade* We may have use for this in the near future
Where are those ___’s from yesterday who thought Clint isn’t a jerk at? >_>
No one said Clint wasn’t a jerk, or emotionally distant and controlling. Just that Ruth’s depression may not be a response to that, but an actual medical issue with less dramatic causation. Saying someone is not abusive is not the same as saying you like them.
All I read was people saying that we have seen no signs of abuse and that they wanted to wait before making any judgements. That was followed by other people venting on them and attempting to bully and abuse them into joining their way of thinking.
I read people saying Clint was just fine, and that Ruth’s fear of him wasn’t justified, and that Clint’s actions were not harmful, and that someone being unaware of rheor abuse makes them not abusive. It was followed up by other people arguing, and after that the initial people got super defensive. Stating that you disagree with someone isn’t “bullying and abusing” wtf. Maybe I missed something though, as I didn’t reado any comments posted after whatever time I commented.
Yeah, you missed plenty.
No, u.
NVM, misread. Sorry.
It just occurred to me: how exactly did Clint manage to, “put the train back on the tracks?”
He’s a conductor…..of souls! 0_0
I would assume by throwing money at the problem – that is, making a substantial endowment to the university – until it goes away.
But I can’t decide whether the metaphor works better if Ruth is being forced to follow the tracks (see “being railroaded”) or tied to them.
Is he that rich to do so, and at the same time, stingy enough that Ruth needs this job (+.free rooming I guess) to afford IU?
“All signs point to yes.”
I’m sure he could give Ruth a completely free ride, but having a job to do – this one, in particular – will “build character”, look good on her resume for whatever plan he has for her future, and (most importantly, as others noted in the comments on the last strip) not actually empower her to escape him in any way, but rather serve as another set of shackles.
It’s “perfect.” For him.
He didn’t Chloe never wanted to fire Ruth. Clint is just claiming credit after making assurances on Ruth’s behalf.
Chloe doesn’t make these decisions. She’s said it before, she hints at it again here with “Not my call”.
Clint said yesterday “I had a talk with the department and it’s solved”. Again, not with Chloe, but over Chloe’s head. Makes sense because any financial contribution or anything like that wouldn’t go through a low level manager like Chloe.
It’s possible that Clint is not physically abusive, but he definitely is mentally and emotionally abusive. Even just the fact that Ruth calls him “Sir” rather than “Grandfather” “Papa” “Grampa”, etc. sets off red flags to me. There are varying degrees of abusive jerk, and it is possible that Clint isn’t Toedad or Blaine levels of awful, but he’s still controlling and puts Ruth down.
It’s likely that he genuinely believes that he’s trying to help her, by ensuring she continues on in school and has a job. Being abusive doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love her or that he’s irredeemably awful in every way. He can love his granddaughter while still engaging in harmful and toxic behaviour toward her.
I don’t know about that last part. Abusers are certainly sick, but you’d be surprised the number who are perfectly aware of the effect they have on others, but simply choose not to take responsibility or care. I don’t know that it’s possible to love someone who you are abusing. Abusing someone, by definition you don’t actually respect them or think very much of them at all.
I think it’s more a matter of *thinking* of yourself as a loving person, vs. the things you actually *do* to people. For example, many corrupt politicians also donate to charities, but it doesn’t make them any less awful. That’s just being performative with their actions. I’m sure we’re going to see much worse once Ruth and “Sir” are alone and out of anyone’s sight.
I think what we are seeing is exactly Ruth and Clint’s relationship. Ruth’s depression and lack of self esteem feed on that relationship, but it is likely not a deliberate act on his part.
Well, it’s quite likely he’s not deliberately trying to drive her to suicide through depression, if that’s what you mean. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a major source of her problems.
Obviously he’s just teaching her to build character. Isn’t that the excuse abusive parents usually go with to rationalise that they’re not abusive?
Carol certainly thinks she loves Joyce properly and yet…
Ross would die for Becky.
No, he’s not irredeemably awful. He’s charming, charismatic, friendly, and absolutely believes he’s doing the right thing. But this is Clint in public, in front of someone who presents a threat to him.
We’re seeing an abuser who still has total control over their victim, whose abuse is passing completely undetected thanks to the public facade. Literature on abusers shows they generally know exactly what they’re doing, which is why he’s capable of fooling Chloe and likely others. Only Ruth sees the real Clint, and only Ruth experiences his controlling and doubtless neglectful behaviour.
I agree that he’s less likely to be physically abusive. He strikes me as the type who thinks of physical abuse as “real abuse” (maybe “it’s unspeakably low to hit a girl/child”), and what he does as “being a good guardian”.
Much as DoA isn’t about the crushing reality of terrible things, I don’t think Chloe is going to pick up on this. Much easier to say “Ruth’s depressed so she’s overreacting” rather than to recognise “Ruth’s being abused and this is maybe why she’s depressed in the first place”.
(Victim-Blaming 101: abusing you, and then using your response to the abuse to justify abusing you further.)
Of course it’s also quite possible he’s a “This is the only way I can get you to behave” kind of physical abuser. And still thinks of himself as a good guardian. The abuse is all Ruth’s fault because she doesn’t react properly to his discipline.
That’s all speculation of course. We don’t know what kind of abuser he is. All we really know is what we’ve seen right here and Ruth is conditioned to be terrified of him and is also worried about Howard.
How about you fuck off clint
If you really want to think about something scary, remember that for the vast majority of the history of Western civilization, this guy’s personality type was seen as pretty close to the ideal father.
….. okay, Ruth, here’s one way to handle it…
“If I DO do this, I’ll need the power to do it right.”
“Of course.”
“Starting with expelling Mary. Or at least kicking her out of the hall.”
“Wha-”
“She blackmailed me into staying silent while dropping a metric shitton of transphobia on Carla.”
“But we can’t just kick her out…”
“Blackmail is a felony, and her harrassment means that another student isn’t safe. If you’re not going to let me do this job than I’m not going to do it. That simple. Make it happen or I very publicly walk.”
“… wait, isn’t that blackmail too?”
“Yup. Go ahead. Fire me for it.”
“But kicking her out would also draw public scrutiny, which would-”
“-expose the details she was blackmailing me with, and also that she succeeded, and also my assault on her, and get me fired. Yup. So are you giving me the authority to do this, or not?”
…..
…. note that I’m not saying this is necessarily a GOOD scenario. Awesome, yes, good, no.
…. and yes, I know, Ruth’s in no fit state of mind to make this sort of righteous power play.
You are placing Ruth into a position of power that no one in that room, Ruth included, grants her.
Ruth definitely does not grant herself that power, which I noted at the end of that comment.
But if she did, she could assert it.
Ruth can’t grant herself any power in this instance. Everyone else thinks they are doing her a favour.
Which doesn’t actually grant them power over her. It just makes them more obstinate.
No, she could seize power by doing what Reltzik suggested. She has power because she actually doesn’t want what they want for her. If they push her to take it anyway, she can burn it down by going public. “She who can destroy a thing has power over it.”
Or they can not give her the job, which is what she wants.
Of course, she won’t do this, because she’s depressed and bold action isn’t what depressed people are known for and because she’s been conditioned to be obedient and submissive to Clint.
I’d also quibble about “Everyone else thinks they are doing her a favour.” Chloe, almost certainly – though it’s all tied up with making things easier for herself.
Clint, maybe, but only in the warped way where keeping on the path he’s laid out whatever she thinks she wants is actually a favor. It’s about control. He’s decided. He’s arranged. He’s invested. He’s solved. She will do this.
Can I subscribe to your newsletter?
I’m thinking of making an intermittent series of comments like this, in which the characters do much more awesome things because I have more time to think of clever responses than they do and I don’t really care about burning their hypothetical lives to the ground in the name of being cool.
So in other words grating wish furfillment.
Becky isn’t a student, and thus not officially Ruth’s problem.
Hmm…so, Ruth didn’t want the RA position because it reduced her reliance on Sir, but because he Said So. That puts a different spin on her earlier interactions with him.
I was about ready to punch the wall when I saw ‘brown kid’ thinking she was jumping on the “Mistreat Sal” bandwagon before I realized it was actually ‘Brown kid’.
Also, more A-class grandparenting from Clint here. Standing up and menacingly backing your panicking grandaughter into a corner.
TBF, Sierra would also count as a ‘brown kid’ if that were the case.
….But yeah, that’s where my mind went too because Sal = rebel and rebel = admin headache and then she mentioned the shooting and I felt much less crabby.
She might actually be thinking of Sal, since she might be aware of the whole “robbing a convenience store” thing. But confidentiality means she doesn’t say it and goes for the ones that are public knowledge instead.
She was talking about the “flashpoints”, AKA the kids whose public history makes possible R.A.s refuse the job because they’re too high-maintenance.
This is a nightmare scenario for me. Like. I’ve spent the past few years coming to terms with a lot of things, and depression and suicidal thoughts is one of them. And, Clint is my greatest fear. I have the great fortune of not having anyone like him in my life, but I can’t look at it? I can’t look at Ruth falling so close to relapsing again.
I wanted to take part in the chat, but when I came into this website I held a hand over my screen because I didn’t want to see their faces.
Something tells me CLINT will not be winning the most popular male character of year award.
Yep, kind of called it. Still not sure how horrible this guy gets, but there was no way Clint was going to let things “go off script” after he “solved it”. I mean, yeah, this is stuff that could look like “some shade of normal” at least to some of the older readers here like me who haven’t had a much more intimate history with abuse, but its right there on the edge of “Tough Patriarchal Figure who won’t let you let yourself down” and shows no signs of slowing to a halt at that point.
For Ruth’s sake I hope Clint has the restraint to not try and force the issue too much more forcefully than he’s already done in the last few panels, cause I’m at least expecting yelling at her for not appreciating the favors he called in or berating her for being a worthless disappointment if she refuses to “straighten up”. I mean, I’m not sure thats actually any better than going straight into a physically violent rage, but it’d be slightly less disturbing to me to watch probably.
And I’m someone whose never had what people would call abuse happen to me in my life. I mean, one of my grandmothers was married to a control freak of a man who later on in life took towards being abusive both emotionally and physically to her due to anger management issues as well as possibly just lashing out as a result of rage at his own decrepitness by that point…
But well, we didn’t really live close enough to see either of them much, so its more just knowing what a bitter, rage-filled, control freak of an old-fashioned “a man is king of his household” sort of “normal” old-man can do, without diluting the horribleness of it by pretending that its not purely their choice to do such things.
Honestly, a “normal” generally functional human being who exerts their perceived power over someone under their “rule” is possibly worse than the “monsters” they’re made out to be, because at least goblins and ogres and devils and the like are usually just that way by nature, same as a tiger or wolf. Clint here, well he at least could have tried to see where his granddaughter was coming from or even tried to convince her that “none of the things that happened” were “her fault”, instead of just putting forth a repeated ultimatum with an unspoken consequence (Or alternatively that he doesn’t think needs a spoken “or else” because he’s not even giving her that much of a choice in the matter.) .
So, yeah, maybe people are right that he’s not a “monster” persay, but like my dear old grandmother’s late husband, well he’s almost definitely a Dick. (Even though I suppose he’s technically a Clint. Not seeing much of a difference between the two tbh though, except for physical violence and extreme rage and yelling still not being confirmed.)
Yeah, that control freak nature and refusal to accept any deviation of the path he’s chosen is so dehumanizing. Which no wonder Ruth felt trapped and miserable. And why she was looking forward to being free of this job. Because it’s just another cage from “sir” to keep her “contained”.
I almost hope he doesn’t have the restraint to not force the issue. Disturbing as it might be to watch, it might tear the mask off even for the apparently oblivious Chloe.
What I really don’t want is for him to get a few moments of privacy with his granddaughter – because that’s when it’s safe to take the mask off.
You know, I don’t think I would dislike this guy so much if he didn’t come off as so entitled. I guess it’s the (currently visible) marker in my mind between “being bad TO Ruth” and “being bad FOR Ruth”. And before you come at me with “Do you SEE Ruth’s utterly terrified reaction to him?”, yes, I do. But I also only have my own experience to go on, and in my own experience, I still sometimes have that exact reaction to a parent who was the later, but not the former; even now that the relationship has been mended to the point that it’s mostly healthy.
The worst part is he probably thinks he’s helping her. Probably thinks his ‘firmness’ (read: dismissal and invalidation) is the right thing to do.
Because the thing about ingrained, systemic prejudice is that people perpetrating it often think they’re doing the right thing.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. They are literally lovingly hand carved into the paving stones.
At least according to the professor of cruel and unusual geography at UU.
Comic Reactions:
Before I begin, I want to get meta for a second. Everytime an abusive person comes in dripping red flags, there’s a pattern where a bunch of people get upset with the people freaking out for “overreacting” until eventually it turns out that yeah, those red flags were definitely red. It’s happened with Blaine, Ethan and Danny’s parents, Carol, Toedad, “sir”, and Mary.
And I get it, the reason abusers get away with their shit is they are very good at skimming under the radar of “wait, was that fucked up or am I overthinking it” to observers and people want to inherently think well of people, because that’s a key component of ourselves as a social species.
But the reason a huge number of us with really shitty life experiences freak out and jump up and down talking about red flags isn’t because we’re cool cynics who always hate on folks and never see the positive. It’s because we learned the hard way about certain red flags and so when we see them again, we’re frequently transported back into the terror and pain of when we directly suffered what those red flags tried to warn us about.
None of us want to be right about abusive characters. Frequently abusive characters make reading the comic in general a lot more of a raw experience.
I can’t ask anyone to go against their natural inclinations in how they read things, but it would be nice in the future when the next abusive figure strolls in, if we could be trusted.
That what we’re seeing is based on something real. And that we’ve got an unfortunately good track record on seeing some of this shit. Cause the repeated cycle every time a new abusive character makes their appearance is a little hard to keep going through over and over and over again.
Thank you.
And now on to the actual comic.
Panel 1: Holy fuck, Ruth is fucking broken in this panel. Her eyebrows full of fear, her pupils shrinking away and her expression just… defeated. This is a blow to her and that it’s a blow to her is written all over her face.
That Chloe continually fails to pick up on these red flags, that she continues to assume that “sir” is a great guy who cares deeply about his daughter is I feel the illustration of the bystander effect that leads to awkward things like what I wrote about above.
And as a result, Chloe does something awful, which is fail to respond or acknowledge Ruth’s clear pain here and thus leave her feeling even more isolated by her abuser.
After all, her abuser is here abusing her in front of an authority figure and that authority figure is blithely unaware. It’s… it reminds me a lot of when I was raped and how the fact that no one else seemed to think it was a big enough deal to justify intervening means I felt I needed to accept it and stop making a big fuss.
And on Ruth’s face, I feel the same resigned confused panic. And it makes me cry.
First, I’m so sorry that you experienced that.
I think a lot of people have never experienced these things, so they literally can’t fathom it, and thus anything that doesn’t fit inside their reality gets explained away – which is a dangerous mindset anyway. Also, people who might have experienced it but are still in denial about how bad their situation actually was. Or people who were lucky enough to survive without scars and so they think it’s “not that bad”.
It’s easier to get mad at the accuser than it is to get mad at the perpetrator, especially in the realm of domestic violence and abuse of that nature, because that means they won’t have to process it or do anything about it, or accept that it’s (very likely) someone they “know”.
Whew. This strip is bringing back a lot of feelings and memories. Maybe Ruth can get more loans? Or get a loan to live off campus – I believe you’re allowed to get loans for things other than straight up tuition, that’s how I bought books and stuff when i was in school.
It’s a tough decision, but you really can’t put a price on your sanity… it’s not something you can easily replace.
I just want to say that I always find your indepth analysis of the comics really interesting…
…and well, that I’m sorry that your life has had so many horrible unpleasant parts of it. I’m not sure I really said that right, but I’m not really sure the proper way to put it in words. I mean, I liked that “*appropriate gesture of support*” thing people were doing on the last page, but I can barely manage myself so I’m not sure someone who is maybe basically a Danny (Not saying it that way for bad reasons, but just the “Mostly normally raised person, semiadjusted person who tries to fumble their way towards doing the right thing” sort of reasons sort of Dannyness) of the comment section currently, I don’t know if I get to use that?
Anyways, I hope that there aren’t further horriblenesses in your life, cause….well you sound like you already have dealt with way more than your share of such things.
*appropriate gesture of support* Thanks.
I’m honestly very disheartened that you need to say that part before the analysis here (especially in this case). There have been strong “hints” every time anything to do with *checks tags* Clint has come up (by “hints” I mean all of us being slapped around by a clue-by-four) and that’s before you get to all the clues in how Ruth has acted since this comic started.
Anyway, I have this feeling that Ruth’s grandfather is swinging a very big stick where the school is concerned. Everything about him screams upper 20% wealth and income level to me, the kind of “self made” man who is typically used to getting what he wants one way or the other (be that throwing money at the problem or wielding social clout) but isn’t in the kind of really hyper privileged position typified by old money nor nouveau riche 1% types. If I’m right about that, Chloe is almost certainly in a rock and a hard spot position here as she’ll have pressure from on high to make sure he gets his way no matter her own feelings nor anyone else’s here at risk of her continued employment and potentially all future employment prospects as well. Hence, I’m going to wait and see what gets said and what gets done after he’s gone.
Oh god. I didn’t know you were…I can’t type that word I just can’t. I don’t, just don’t understand how a human being can do that to another human. It’s just…why? I’m…horrified that you had to go through that ordeal Cerberus. Things like…like that shouldn’t happen to people like you. Good people, who’ve already gone through horrible things, and then…and then…goddamnit. God fucking damnit. It’s not right. It’s not right. *tries to offer appropriate gesture of support*
*accepts it*
*internet hugs*
Quoted for truth.
Consider also that abusers are very good at normalizing abuse patterns in society. Hyper-controlling parent who refuses to let their child have any breathing room or say in their life is a “concerned parent” who “takes an active involvement in their child’s life.” Smacking your kid until they comply to make the pain stop is “discipline” or “spanking.” Berating your kid until they’re in tears is being a “strict disciplinarian”.
Abusers are very good at speaking honeyed venom. At sounding ever so calm and reasonable as they question whether someone actually counts as a person. If you’ve never experienced it first-hand, you don’t know the dog-whistles and red flags – but that doesn’t mean they’re not dog-whistles and red flags.
Without the context of past experience and history, certain things that are packaged in reasonable-looking wrapping paper don’t seem all that disturbing. Think the “we can’t restore our civilization with someone else’s babies” rhetoric last week. If you are ignorant of the rising white nationalist influence in the republican party and the ongoing othering of immigrants, it might seem like a statement of the US needing to get its house in order. Only with the context of neo-nazi dogwhistles (of which someone else’s children has been one since the days when there was nothing ‘neo’ about Nazis) and the rising frequency and severity of hate crimes in general in the US does the full weight of that rhetoric become understood.
What the folks who don’t see the red flags are right now are those people who are so ignorant of history that they don’t recognize that rising white nationalism + political power in the hands of white nationalists + othering rhetoric towards anyone who does not fit the white nationalists view of a “true” citizen is very bad news. And just like explaining why “someone else’s children” is so disturbing to students of history takes pages and pages of history lessons, so too does explaining why red flags are red flags to those of us who’ve survived abuse.
What I’m asking is not that you immediately set aside your own first instinct about it – but rather that you consider whether you’re missing some ‘personal history’ context that those of us in the comments who’ve survived abusive situations have.
Yeah, it’s like… I don’t demand people see the same red flags I or others do, but it would be nice if people didn’t pile on the folks who do and assume they are just overreacting and seeing things that aren’t there.
Like disagree with us, say you don’t see those red flags, but trust us enough to know that we’re not reacting to nothing nor are we excited or interested in seeing characters as abusers or harassers. It’s often a sinking haunting feeling. So trust us enough to know we wouldn’t put ourselves through that if we weren’t seeing something that resonates in a scary way.
Cause it’s like, that was the really rough part in a lot of these instances. Being already frayed and then having folks be really really aggressive about how we’re just making shit up and enjoying thinking the worst of people and actively aggressively dismissing what we’re seeing. And it’d be nice if people didn’t treat flashbacks, recognition of red flags, or triggers as something that made us more worthy of dismissal and less trustworthy.
I dunno, my thoughts are all mixed up on this one.
It’d also be cool if maybe they didn’t act like they were being personally attacked when we all agreed that “maybe she’s making up being abused” is a really fucked up thing to say about ANYbody.
The thing that bothers me the most about people who very aggressively demand the commenters not judge abusive characters enough is that they are putting the rights of the potential abusers over the rights of the people potentially being abused. And I realize it’s fiction, but if people are that vehement about fictional characters, then how do they respond in real life?
It honestly makes me feel a little sick to read, too. And while I know that not everyone sees the red flags, the very fact that in this particular case Ruth is showing all the body language of someone feeling outright terror and emotional shut down indicates that there is SOMETHING GOING ON. To me, it’s a bit of a red flag that the people demanding all of these abusive characters get a “fair trial” means that they aren’t giving the abused the same fair trial.
Having said all of that, I have really appreciated your thoughts on this, and your comments in general.
Yes to the entire top half of your comment. It’s understandable why people want to assume the best of everyone at first; like you said, that’s how we as a species function. But when abuse victims are told they “may be overreacting”, in my experience? We all give the same response:
“I hope so.”
And that response there is only for the MINOR red flags. The MAJOR ones usually get a unanimous “HIGH ALERT, ABORT NOW” reaction. But we don’t WANT to be right. We never do.
I’mma fight that fictional grandpa.
I don’t care that he’s not real, I’mma do it.
*hands you the most jagged, rusty sword imaginable*
You’ll need this.
What does he hope to accomplish by helping his granddaughter keep her job as a fuckin’ RA?
Like, is his head so far up his ass that he’s threatened by the “incompetence” or the “embarrassment” of his college-age granddaughter? Like, holy shit how are you that fucking pathetic?
Would thumbs up this if I could.
I think the main goal is yanking Ruth’s chain and maintaining control.
Panel 2: Fuck, begging for humanity, for reasonable treatment, for the person to notice that you don’t actually want this thing that’s been “settled” for you. And doing it so meekly and politely it can be easily dismissed and cast aside.
Fuck, why does this arc have to hit so many things really really close to home?
Panel 3: Oh wow. Wow. Fuck you Chloe.
Like, I already was starting to severely dislike Chloe for being utterly terrible at her job and letting a really awful situation develop without even the slightest recognition of Clint throwing up more red flags than a matador convention.
But this… wow. This is some grade A HR douchery right here.
First up is the other dismissal of Ruth literally begging off this job. And not for the first time. Which especially when she knows that Ruth was hospitalized and is on the raggedy edge is just… ugh. And trying to guilt trip Ruth into accepting because it makes Chloe’s job easier is just…
Yeah, it might be a shorter list. But tough titties, that’s the job for which you receive a salary. To find someone to fill that role and train them. And this “oh the list is super short” shit is even more garbage when you note that she’s had new applicants in Roz and Dorothy show up. So it’s not like they couldn’t find a replacement while Ruth recovered.
Second up… wow, “high-profile flashpoints”. Like a)that’s a terrible HR euphemistic way of talking about actual students to, b) I notice that Mary, the only person on the floor who committed blackmail and nearly drove a person into a suicide attempt so she could continue harassing another student didn’t make this “flashpoint” list, c) oh, look, all of the people listed are people who make her do the slightest bit of extra work (Joyce because she needed to tell Ruth to schedule an emergency meeting and check in session, Roz to discipline her and Joe’s RA for the sex tape thing, and Carla…
Hoo boy. I think I said a while ago that Carla being in a single room was something that raised a red flag for me owing to my experiences doing trans mentorship in college spaces and seeing how some colleges like to “provide” accommodations in fulfillment of Title IX to trans students but in ways that deliberately set them apart and reduce the chance of a roommate complaining about having to room with a trans person.
And this really seems to confirm a lot of those fears I was having. The fact that she’s listed as a flashpoint. And clearly only a flashpoint because of her existence (with a strong hint that Carla might have had to fight for this accommodation to get it in the first place and was warned to keep her head down when finally given it) as a trans woman, is… vile. And really adds an extra layer to Carla deliberately showering when no one else is.
And fuck, Joyce? Like the Carla thing is vile, but I can’t help but interpret the Joyce inclusion as a nasty piece of victim blaming. After all, she says “high-profile flashpoints” in specific. Roz because of her political affiliations and tendency for flashy actions, Carla for existing, because ya know, trans people being allowed the slightest of accommodations is the hot new thing all the bigots are obsessing over, but Joyce?
The only thing she’s “done” is be targeted in a school shooting and fired upon. But that’s enough to label her an “issue” as if Joyce makes a habit of attracting random angry assholes to shoot at her on a regular basis.
But hey, she made extra paperwork for Chloe one day, so she gets included in the list in a way that Mary, the only one of them that did anything meriting actual RM intervention, didn’t.
So yeah, fuck you Chloe. You shit-pudding haired doucheferret.
oh god…i read your comment and i reread the strip and…oh god. yeah, fuck miss puddinghead.
her saying that carla is an inconvenience indirectly reminds me of the time when i went to polytechnic and wrote that I was trans (due to the whole trauma of having to wear school uniforms in the first 16 fucking years of my life)–I was 17 then, and very inexperienced–and remembered how oppressive it was. i wasn’t allowed to go to the male toilet and had to use the handicapped one (I got yelled at by toilet cleaners to use the female toilet because of that–it was traumatising as fuck honestly–and I couldn’t stop thinking that I was an inconvenience. it might’ve been a really different context, but having been there for 3 years and reading about other trans peoples’ experiences, experiencing more transphobic bullshit and finally being enlightened about how it wasn’t my fault, this just hits home to me and I’m still working to get rid of the self hate; and I can safely say, fuck Chloe. Fuck her intentions and her nice face that reminded me of the authority figures that fooled me into thinking they had mine and the school’s best interests at heart. Fuck them for contributing to the system that made trans people like me constantly fucking feel like shit for existing.
Damn straight, it wasn’t your fault. And fuck the people who tried to convince you otherwise. *Strong hug offered*
thanks. pats on the face would suffice 😛
honestly i nearly burst to tears after writing it out. i was surprised, i never thought it was this bad. i used to think, “you know, this is way better than being trapped in government schools wearing school uniforms and being misgendered every fucking day” so I sucked it up; i thought that hey, trans people in average have been through way worse, so i should give authority figures in my school credit for at least trying, especially since my country is general is really conservative and passive aggressive lol. but now i don’t even know anymore. I’m still stuck in the constant mentality that I’m ungrateful, that it’s my fault, that I’m a disappointment, and I’m still trying to work to get rid of that mentality 3 years after I got out of the hellhole of school-uniforms, but I don’t know what to do, lol.
*Also offers internet hugs* The only disappointment in your experience are the people who contributed to your mentality. There’s no such thing as being “ungrateful” when you’re a part of an oppressed minority, who is being treated slightly better than normal, but still not treated like an actual human being. You don’t owe gratitude to them, or anyone else who made you feel like an inconvenience. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m currently at my night job and it sounds like I have to remove a misogynistic drunk from the premises. Third time in as many weeks.
It seems totally okay to me to not be grateful to people who make your life unpleasant, even if they claim or act like they’re “trying”. I mean, I can’t really say I know how that feels or anything in specific, but it sounds like it was really an unpleasant time. Like seriously, there’s not any good reason for people to push people into feeling that horrible about themselves like that.
Sorry if I didn’t put that into words very well, its difficult for me to put my emotions into proper words when the anger and sadness that boils up over people being horrible over stuff like this comes up, even as being kind of an outsider. Like, urg…its basically bullying, but the….”People” who do a lot of the bullying or at least let it happen are usually people who should know better and behave better.
*face pat* You’re not ungrateful, that was awful, and you shouldn’t have had to put up with that. And recognizing that doesn’t make you a bad person.
Also fuck uniform culture in general (and business “dress standards”) and how hostile it frequently is to trans kids and adults.
Oh, also wanted to add, you deserve more than scraps. Like society is really good at telling marginalized folks we should be grateful for scraps because it’s more than nothing, but it’s okay to look at the full dinner plates around us and go “what the fuck” and demand full inclusion. And it’s okay to look down at the scraps and see the insult in them.
It really is.
Being trans and having to wear uniforms is horrible. In my country, uniforms are mandatory for all schools, whether public or private. I used to go to a private international school where they gave us some choice in uniforms. Now I’m at a public university, and there are only two ‘real’ uniforms, and they’re very gendered. I’m a cis queer and I hate them. Fortunately my department has a ‘workshop shirt’, which is a short-sleeve button shirt made of heavy material, supposed to be for wearing during workshop classes. Students usually wear it over casual clothes, which is technically against the rules, but some teachers are more lenient about it. I now wear it for every course that the teacher doesn’t explicitly enforce the uniform policy.
During exams you’re required to wear the uniform though. And that’s really a horror experience for trans people at many schools, because you have to wear the correct uniform as according to your official gender on your records. AND changing your official gender is not allowed. It’s not even a thing in this country. There have been some people who successfully petitioned to wear the uniform that corresponds to their actual gender. But it seems quite rare, unless the school is unofficially lenient about it, like at mine.
I say unofficial because it’s kind of like, turning a blind eye, I feel. Which is dehumanizing. Officially there are only two choices: skirt or pants.
I misspoke, there’s only one official choice for each official gender; you can guess what that is.
Who could have guessed an RM needs to to RM work? It’s just so unfair.
Also, that terrible icing on the sh*t cake that she’s “the Ruttech Girl”. Not only is she a “flashpoint”, but Chloe can’t bring herself to SAY HER NAME. Ugh. Roz gets a first name. Joyce is “the Brown kid”, sure, but Carla doesn’t even get that. Ruttech isn’t her last name, it’s her parents’ *company*. And that’s what Chloe sees her as. Best case scenario, from her perspective, she’s been strongarmed into taking time to watch out for Carla’s safety because her parents own a company.
Yeah, in her mind, she’s something a rich company dumped on her plate rather than a real human girl worthy of respect. And yeah, it does heavily imply that her parents had to flex some muscle or Carla had to drop a name to be taken seriously by the department.
Fuck, no wonder Carla is so cavalier about the higher rungs of authority in the hall. She knows how bloody useless at best, harmful at worst they are.
Basically, I am now OFFICIALLY ready to see Chloe as evil. Not incompetent. Wilfully harmful.
Eh, I’d say this is one case where Hanlon’s Razor probably applies. Although that’s not much comfort for the people in her care.
Wait, I take it back.
Eh, the “high-profile flashpoints” thing is certainly a very… not-good thing to say, but she’s specifically talking about nobody wanting that RA job. That kind of makes sense and doesn’t really imply it’s their fault.
And Carla is the “Ruttech girl,” which is probably suitably high-profile all by itself.
I’d agree Mary might be more of a problem to actually deal with, but is she “high-profile” enough that the applicants would have even heard of her?
Panel 4: Poor Star Trek guy. : ( But yeah, I mentioned that above, but yeah, it’s unreasonable to expect Joe’s RA to have “stopped” the sex tape, so we see another sign of how awful Chloe is. Not only did she let shit that was only trickling down because the Dean had to get involved fall on an undergraduate student worker who was not at fault, but when she realizes that looks bad on her, she deflects the blame for the decision to let him take the final fall on to “others” (“others” who are not important to be included in “everyone relevant” in this meeting, so ya know, grain of salt on her not having at least some measure of power and decision making on this stuff).
She’s a lot like my head of school, perpetually unable to accept responsibility for anything and much more concerned in problems “going away” than actually being addressed and solved in a real manner. But luckily with less letting a student get raped and then harassing the student into a suicide attempt.
And “sir”… hmm, I don’t have a clear read on his line here. It feels like it could be scornful judgment on Roz for being a “floozy”, especially with his emphasis of sex tape. It feels like it could be “ah, networking opportunity”. Or even a dropping of how he runs in similar circles. Like “ah yes, a DeSanto, I know those”.
But I’m not getting a strong feeling on that one so I’m going to leave that to someone else to analyze.
Panel 5: Oh fuck, desperate begging to escape. To be heard. To be fucking included and taken more seriously than “yeah, I hear you saying you can’t handle this, but it’d be real inconvenient to me to replace you, so fuck you”.
And that’s critical, because not only is this “sir’s” chosen cage for her, it’s a chosen cage he has a new weapon about. If he “gets her her job back”, he can hold that over her with malicious intent, reminding her anytime he wants to shut her down about how “he had to come save her” from “her destroying her own life”.
And that… I know, I’ve been connecting way too much to personal experience, but… this was my dad’s favorite tactic. He loved presenting himself as magnanimous and caring, offering help that would put me under his thumb and having to accept reparative therapy so I could look “ungrateful” if I refused. And getting upset if I didn’t follow his exact plan for “fixing the mess I made of my life”. And just upset in general. He loved to get nasty in private, really getting the blade in, including against my partner at the time not that I knew at first that that was happening.
And yeah, before I was able to accept my final break with my last disownment. (he and the family loved to disown me and then pretend that never happened when I next talked to them and acting like I was the bad guy for “accusing” them of “something so awful”, so yeah, fun little gaslighting extra), I was like Ruth here, begging for a sign, any sign that any of the family he tried so hard to poison against me were seeing my humanity, how much he was hurting me and threatening me.
Out of desperation and vain hope of having some manner of agency in that particular dynamic. And it’s worse seeing it on Ruth, because she’s not escaping for the last time. She’s still in the thick of it. And I want her so bad to be safe and able to recover again.
again, so sorry that you’ve had to face this stuff for real (and continue to do so).
Chloe is turning out to be just as bad a boss we thought way back when all we knew about Ruth was that she was a tyrant, and she claimed that her bosses were cool with her bullying.
She was right! The important part for Chloe seem to be to make her own job simple and to avoid dirty from either below or above to stick to herself.
Best case scenario – she’s clueless and really bad at her job, and teenagers suffer because of it.
Not that her own higher ups seem any better.
Yeah, Ruth lets us know way back when, but now we’re seeing how true that is. Her bosses really only do care that they’re not receiving complaints or having issues escalated to the level where they have to do their jobs.
And that’s why Ruth was Chloe’s favorite, because she made her do her job the least of all of them.
Panels 5-6: But Ruth is allowed no agency. “Sir” has decided. “Sir” has arranged it. “Sir” will not allow Ruth to live her life and recover in peace. And I can hope in vain that Chloe sees this transparent intimidation, the broken fear in Ruth’s posture, Ruth’s desperation to not have this job, but I suspect she’ll willfully turn the same blind eye she has to all of his other red flags.
After all, for her, everything is all solved and intervening could cost extra paperwork or angering a potential large donor to the school. So who cares if the woman she visited in the hospital for being right on the edge of a suicide attempt is being broken before her eyes.
Ugh, and that bit where “Sir” is just bristling with implied threat if Ruth dares continue to step over the line. Letting her know that she is not a full human who gets to have “choices” in how her life operates.
This is so dangerous and heart-breaking and I want so badly for Ruth to be able to get away, but I doubt that’s going to occur for a long while in our time. :{
Seriously, though, fuck “sir” and his fucking gaslighting threats and clinical tearing down of a fucking depressed teenage girl because he thinks family members are chess pieces to play with. Fuck, I’m retroactively so glad that his child was at least able to escape him and get to Canada and live a little bit of their life before they were cut short by a drunk driver. I hope Ruth gets a long and lengthy life equally as far from his control and abuse.
Oh, and I might as well throw this up here:
http://www.loveisrespect.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Power_And_Control.png
It’s the Duluth Power and Control Wheel of signs of abuse. So far, “sir” seems to be aiming for a clean sweep.
*slow, sorrowful clap*
I am agreeing with you on most everything you said, but as is my wont, I will disagree with you on one very significant point.
Ruth does, in fact, have a way to get away.
Granted, Willis has promised us that it won’t work, but she doesn’t know that.
I really can’t agree more. And I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach at just how Chloe is handling this. I’m finally getting a permanent teaching job next school year, and behavior like her’s over these past few days from any employee at said school would get them fired. The fact that she’s being so blind…goddamnit it makes me sick. It’s part of her job to make sure the RA’s and Students are ok. That people get help for their problems. Not just label a few of the students as “flashpoints” and skirt away from work and responsibility as much as possible. When she took this job, when anyone takes a job related to education, the first thing you need to know is that you are now partially responsible for the wellbeing of your students. It’s why good teachers will develope parent-like bonds with their students. Because that’s part of what you are when you sign on for the job. And to see someone just, treating that responsibility like it’s nothing, it both pisses me off and makes me want to cry. Chloe’s actions here remind me of a negligent parent, not a proper member of the Student Life department.
This! That’s what makes me so frustrated and angry about her. Like being a teacher means you have a responsibility to the care and well-being of your students. And seeing someone so dismissive of that responsibility is just… grr…
This is why I don’t cut Chloe any slack, honestly. Clearly, she means no harm.
So what? She is doing harm that could be easily avoided by doing her job correctly. Harm by negligence is less loathsome than harm by intent by mere degrees.
It’s really horrible to watch. And we know that if it had been ANYONE else, Ruth would have screamed and threatened and yelled something ridiculous about femurs.
With “Sir”, she just freezes up.
Very dangerous indeed.
I vote for 3 Becks for RA! They can split the duties!
“Loser Beck” will hang out and keep everyone mellow.
“Midnite Vulture Beck” will Party It Up, but responsibly.
And “Sea Change Beck” will listen to everyone’s emotional drama and make them feel better.
Just keep “Scientologist Beck” out of Mary’s way. Or Walky’s. Or Mike’s, jeez.
Unlike Cerberus, who’s coming at this from obviously strong and raw personal experience with these crap shows with crappy people, I have not had that experience. Maybe that means I’m being a naive doofus. Maybe that means I’m a voice of reason. We’re all right and wrong some time.
We’re supposed to give people the benefit of the doubt. Chloe up to this point, has acted in an entirely reasonable manner. A student became suicidal and had to be hospitalized. Chloe called the person Ruth had listed to call in emergencies. This is the number of the person Ruth has specifically and officially designated to the school that she trusts to handle her stuff when she herself is unable to. Chloe then went down to check on Ruth. While Ruth’s life hangs in the balance, mortifying her with the knowledge that her family knows how badly she’s screwed up looks like a decidedly bad idea. Hell, Ruth even tells Chloe to fire her so Ruth can get on with dying.
Best to wait till Ruth is stable and out of hospital again. And within minutes of getting back to the dorm, Chloe informs Ruth that they should talk. Chloe is concerned for Ruth, who is obviously still not at her best, but is happy that she can at least do this one thing for Ruth: let her keep her job. Everything Ruth has said in this meeting so far comes off as mere panic because she feels she’s unqualified and there’s plenty of better people for the job.
And people are condemning the list for not including Mary, but from the perspective of authority Mary is less problematic than the others. Chloe doesn’t know the extent of Mary’s blackmail shenanigans. Nobody has told her about them. Billie informed her classmates of the blackmail, but not Chloe.
So until the last two panels, Chloe has acted in a completely reasonable manner. And acting in a completely reasonable manner can nevertheless make situations worse.
That said, here is the moment of truth. The RA job is Ruth’s choice, not Clint’s. Clint doesn’t get to bully Ruth into doing this, especially not fresh out of the hospital. Failing to stand up for Ruth here would indeed be a major screw up on Chloe’s part.
I think you are missing some points about the whole thing.
1) We don’t know if Sir was listed as emergency contact. It is likely, but even if he was, not telling her he was contacted and will be there is a mayor step over boundaries.
2) He fucking doesn’t have any right to talk with her employers without her leave. And they fucking don’t have a right to make any decision without asking her first. Both has happened.
3) Chloe didn’t even mention he would be at the meeting. Is she out of her mind or did he actually sell her the “lets surprise her with a solution”?
Either way, to my way of thinking this makes her a person not to be trusted with anything. Either she’s totally dense about keeping boundaries, or someone who bows to power. Both of which are not trustworthy traits.
4) If they don’t have many people able to RA that floor because of the difficult and high-profile cases there, they want to give the job to a person who ist just out of hospital for having been suicidal. Are they out of their minds?
1) When you are rendered mentally incompetent to manage your own life, your boundaries change. It is acceptable to kick and trick suicidal people to get them out of suicidal situations. To contact their “trusted person” without telling the suicidal person until they’re again competent again is a perfectly reasonable measure.
2) This isn’t a firing. The school is *offering* Ruth a job. Clint has every right to talk to whosoever he pleases. And the school has every right to make a decision *not* to fire Ruth. If Ruth wants to quit, fine. But Ruth needs to make it crystal clear she doesn’t want the job, and isn’t just begging off because she feels she screwed up. As far as Chloe is concerned up to this point, Ruth is just suffering from low self-esteem and could use some reassurance, which Chloe is happy to be in a position to give.
3) Given the established positive nature of the surprise and the fact that they are not forcing anything upon her, I don’t see how this counts against Chloe’s trustworthiness.
4) This is a valid point. Clint did something to make the higher-ups give Ruth a second chance at the RA job against all good judgement. But faulting the University for being too nice to Ruth seems to be the opposite of the vibe I’m getting from criticism of Chloe.
I don’t know how old you are, but if some parent figure of yours started to talk to you boss about how he could pave your carreer with some money right now without ever asking you about it, wouldn’t you think is very, very insulting?
To me, that proves a deep disrespect to the person talked and “cared for”.
You can move in on the problems of a 5-year old in this way, you may even do this to a 14 year old though they will hate you for some years for doing so. And in both cases, you might have been right.
But doing this to an adult is telling them they are not able to be anything.
And – if someone is listed as your emergency contact and they are contact by the hospital, what in all the world would be a good reason not to tell them?
You don’t tell suicidal people stuff that might upset them. True. If you suppose their emergency contact is someone value able in their life, you tell them their are coming as this will help. You can’t have it both ways.
Either they are bad news, then you don’t involve them. Or they are good news, then you tell the person concerned they are coming.
I’m in my late 20s. And no I would not be insulted if my parents tried to pave my career with money. Making things easier for those you love isn’t a sign of disrespect. It *would* still be something I would want to stop, because I’d end up promoted before I’m ready. It’d be a sweet but often counterproductive thing for parents to do.
In any case, what’s happening here from the perspective of the authorities is not paving Ruth’s career. This is saving Ruth from being fired. Nobody relishes the thought of firing an employee because they became suicidal. It’s like driving a nail into their coffin. But now they have a practical justification for giving Ruth another chance. To Chloe, this is a good thing.
Your analysis of emergency contacts has a lot of truth to it, but oversimplifies human relationships. People don’t affect each other on a single, simple positive to negative scale. Emergency contacts are often social authority figures, people you depend on and want to be respected by. It’s one thing to call in your father-figure when you get hit by a car. It’s another to call that same father-figure in when you let your own life fall apart. Waiting to tell Ruth until she was out of the danger zone was a reasonable choice.
You think your parents bribing your boss to let you keep your job when you’ve horribly screwed up would be a good thing? Without consulting you. When you hate the job and want out. When you’re protesting and begging them to find someone else. To have your parent order you to stay in the position.
I can easily see Chloe thinking it’s a good thing, especially if she doesn’t realize exactly how it went down. Of course, we don’t know for sure it was a bribe, that is just an assumption. That should change now that Ruth is actively trying to fight it.
If it was a reasonable choice not to tell Ruth right away, because that might be too embarrassing for someone on suicide watch, it’s even less reasonable to wait until they see them in person where they get to face any mortification face to face without preparation.
Trying to help me save my job is a good thing. How on Earth would it not be? It might not be wise, but it’s sure altruistic. If I proved myself temporarily mentally incompetent and was hospitalized for it, no I would not blame them for trying to look out for me and putting me back in the loop once I was officially ready to handle my own life again. Chloe has no idea Ruth hates the job. Ruth has never told her that. Ruth has only ever told Chloe that she should be fired so she could have one less reason to keep living and that she doesn’t deserve to keep the job on merit.
“To have your parent order you to stay in the position.” This is blatantly not my argument. As I’ve said in several other posts, Clint has stepped over the line in a clear way and Chloe needs to step up in the next strip.
This is a *good surprise*. Chloe has had no reason to suspect otherwise up to this point. Would it have been the best thing to do to inform Ruth that she’d be seeing Clint in Chloe’s office? Yes. Was it reasonable to set things up such as to tell give Ruth a pleasant surprise that she can stay employed? Also yes.
Your parents acting without consulting your wishes would be the bad thing.
You not being given a choice would be the bad thing. Surprising you with not having a choice is the worst kind of surprise.
Your employers even talking to your parents about your job and employment details would be a breach of confidentiality.
But maybe, if you consider advancing via bribes by parents a sign of loving care, your moral system has quite different compass points than mine and it makes no sense to continue the conversation anyway.
Regardless of whether someone is rendered legally incompetent, it is not Chloe’s decision to make. If someone is rendered mentally incompetent,others are only allowed discuss that person’s condition with their legal guardian (often a social worker in the case of emergency hospitalizations like Ruth has), and even then, only if a court order has been issued granting another person authority over medical decisions. Ruth’s hospitalization was likely voluntary as they did not have police take her into legal custody and ask a judge for a court order for psychiatric treatment (and yeah, it’s a judge’s decision in Canada and most of the US, to prevent the rampant abuses of the asylum system common in the earlier 2/3 of last century). Ruth’s hospitalization was (as far as I can tell) voluntary (in that they did not have to get the cops to arrest her and force it on her), so Sir would not have had any agency or stake in this situation, legally.
Canadian and US law and medical ethics are both extremely strict on this regard. Chloe is violating HIPAA in at least three different ways right now (discussing a medical record with someone who is not need-to-know within the business, disclosing a medical condition to someone who is not the patient’s legal guardian with authority over medical decisions, and engaging in confidential disability accommodation discussion with an uninvolved third party not consented to or invited by the person whose case is under discussion.
Ruth could sue her ass off, and for good reason.
2, Clint has the right to talk – but legally, he shouldn’t have been told in the first place without Ruth’s explicit permission. Even in cases where someone is on a long-term disability and are incompetent over the long term to manage their own affairs, they are granted standing in court to choose who their guardian should be. All-in-all, unless Ruth explicitly told them they could talk to Clint, not only should he not be here, but he should have no idea what’s going on.
3. See above about medical privacy laws. Someone in an HR position should know exactly how unethical what she has done is.
As I understand it, if he’s listed as an emergency contact, it would be legit to contact him – hospitalization of a suicidal and not very responsive patient would qualify. But that would be the hospital’s action, not Chloe’s.
If she was actually ruled incompetent, her next of kin does get to make certain decisions for her, but as I understand you need to get judges and lawyers involved for that to happen – at least if she’s at all communicative, which she was. Certainly she would need to be informed.
I think it was partly voluntary – she didn’t object when they had her rushed to the hospital. At that point, as I understand it, the doctors could hold her for up to 3 days without a court order. Whether they exercised that option or she just went with the flow due to not having the spoons to object, I don’t know.
It’s also not entirely clear what happened, how Clint was contacted and how much he knows. Both he and Chloe have been very vague. It might not have been her who contacted him. She might not have told him about the mental condition. He definitely went over her head once he found out.
What I find it really hard to excuse or finagle any way to not blame Chloe for is not telling her Clint had been informed and worse, was here. At least when she told her about the meeting an hour ago.
ischemgeek: There are two aspects one should consider before taking a case to trial: the legal argument and the factual argument. From a legal perspective, the school has a legitimate stake in Ruth’s well being. If their student has been hospitalized for a life-threatening issue, calling the emergency contact given to them is exactly what they should do. This is not the sole purview of the hospital. Now once the school has called the emergency contact, does it not seem ridiculous to you that the school wouldn’t be able to tell the contact *why* they’re being contacted? The school doesn’t need to share hospital records. Ruth’s suicidal depression is a matter of public knowledge.
And from a factual perspective, good luck convincing a jury that the school calling Ruth’s emergency contact after she gets hospitalized for suicidal depression, then working behind the scenes with that emergency contact to save Ruth’s job, is somehow something for which Ruth should be awarded damages for in court. Ruth would come off as cravenly trying to bite the Good Samaritan.
thejeff: Certainly telling Ruth an hour before would have been the best thing to do. Ruth was out of the hospital and officially competent. But the difference of an hour to set up a proper office meeting is not something that’s going to hold up in court. The school has no reason to suspect that they’re not doing Ruth a huge solid here by offering her the chance to keep her job and giving her reassurance.
Though again, Clint is blatantly stepping over the line by commanding Ruth to take the job. Chloe ought to recognize that and step up to the plate. Failure to do so will legitimately be a major screw up.
My understanding of Ruth’s hospitalisation was that it was likely an involuntary hold. Her release checks out with when a 3-day hold would be ending.
And in my personal experience, an involuntary hold can be obtained without going before a judge, and the only ‘police’ I encountered were Campus Security being tasked with taking me from the student health center to the hospital. Given that not all of Ruth’s transportation to the hospital was shown, it’s even possible that police were involved.
To be fair, my experience was in California, and this is in Indian, so things could be somewhat different.
Being involuntarily hospitalized because of suicidal notions does not make you legally incompetent about your job decisions and doesn’t allow anyone else to make them.
With the pace DOA is moving, no court orders for anything have been issues in the meantime and there definitely was not competency hearing to take away her right to make her own legal and financial decisions.
See, I’m not sure I can really say Chloe seems like she’s dealt with anything in what I’d call a “reasonable” manner, if only because she constantly looks at best exhausted and at worst “completely out of her depth”.
Maybe its just been an exceptionally hard year, but reading Chloe’s face in most of her appearances at least since Ruth’s problems were revealed, well, I’m not going to assume she’s doing things out of malice or necessarily because she doesn’t think the “kids” are worth worrying about, as much as seeming like she’s the sort who dislikes confrontation and isn’t able to “deal” with how bad things have turned out this early in the school year.
A big public sex tape that puts the school in a really bad light and the heads of the school want “dealt with somehow”, fighting and problems and fireworks displays on the one single floor and wing that she previously had an RA who seemed to keep things quiet and taken care of on, an incident where a gun was fired on school grounds and things when crazy in a big way from there and she doesn’t have any clue how to deal with all of this and make things fall back into place.
I mean, its still her job to step up and try to do something, especially here where Ruth has openly said she’s not up for the job, so yeah, this is definitely the moment where we see if the issue is with Chloe having mismanaging things cause of extreme circumstances or if she actually just doesn’t care.
Sadly its probably easier to keep Ruth in the story if she’s forced to go along with things…so on that end I kind of feel like we’ll end up going the horrible route just for literary reasons. I want Chloe to actually prove she’s better than she’s been acting though.
In fact, rereading the Comics Chloe has been in, she doesn’t even ever show up in the comic until Ruth’s breakdown forces her appearance, didn’t think to look into why she kept having to have Ruth’s door replaced until she was alerted by some of the students in the wing about major violations and suicide risks occurring on the floor and generally thought that Ruth “had her shit together” even with being at least the person who had to sign off on “half a dozen” door repairs.
I mean even with being stuck in meetings with the higher ups regarding the various crises going on (Most of all of which involved people she knows are in Ruth’s wing as a side note), it seems like things must be pretty bad on the other floors if she couldn’t get around to actually checking to see that things were okay in Ruth’s corner of the dorm. I mean all these “Flashpoints” are people she then proceeded to tell them to come find her in her office if they needed her while she was technically standing in as RA due to Ruth’s vacancy during her hospital trip.
Chloe is not particularly good at her job, or at least nowhere near as good as she needs to be to manage whatever has been on her plate to justify her extremely hands off approach if there even is a proper justification.
Now this I can agree with. Chloe isn’t some hero or extraordinary person. She’s been a regular person trying to get by doing her regular job that’s gotten extraordinarily difficult as of late. And she really might not be up to the demands of the job for this year.
And for an RM, this like this WILL happen. Not always this severe, not always these many thinks at once, but it’s not like we have seen her react to small things either.
For example, where were she when Ruth targeted Billie for harassment in the beginning of the term? And what did she do to stand up for the star-trek-hat RA who got to be scapegoat for the sex-tape-thing?
Chloe is bad at her job, and when an RM is bad at her job people get hurt.
The only “defense” I have of her is that her own bosses seem to be pretty bad at it as well, at least if the sex-tape fallout is a clue.
To some extent, it’s a necessity in teen drama stories. If the adults are competent, you don’t need the protagonists to handle their own problems.
It’s a trope in teen drama stories because it is saddeningly common in real life for authority figures to be incompetent, negligent, or abusive thus leaving them having to handle things themselves.
Originally I was thinking that Chloe might be some kind of front-line supervisor, forced into a situation above her pay grade. Having been a not-very-good front-line supervisor myself, I could empathize.
But having done a little research, it turns out that at IU even Assistant RMs are required to have a Master’s degree and a year of day-to-day residence hall management experience. So Chloe, as an actual RM, is in a realio trulio professional position. So there’s no escaping the conclusion that she is either incompetent or unprofessional.
I’m really not trying to make an argument for Chloe’s competence or lack of it generally. I’m simply saying her conduct with regards to Ruth’s breakdown has been reasonable and undeserving of condemnation.
“maybe that means I’m the voice of reason.”
So, like… Screw you?
Like. Screw you.
How DARE you even suggest that people who have been abused are incapable of being objective or reasonable in the face of red flags.
Why would you think that’s okay to say, even if you pretended to soften it afterwards?
Interesting! Was it Clint’s idea originally for Ruth to apply for the RA position?
Sounds to me that Chloe really doesn’t like making tough choices and actually is grateful for Clint to take this away from her. It also seems to me that she is very much an ‘old king log’ personality who would prefer to float serenely as a place of rest for the kids rather than take an active role.
Overall, I suspect that Ruth may yet conclude that she has to do this because she’s the only one who gives a shit about the residents (beyond “let’s avoid a disaster because it will mean more paperwork”).
Sorry Ruth, you literally have no saying in your life.
What the fuck. Keep saying no, please. Keep fighting.
“Ruth, what you feel and want is not as important as what I want… YOU are not as important as what I want.”
High-profile flash-points, huh? On one hand it’s funny, like “this hall has all the main characters, they’re difficult and in the news a lot”. On the other hand, that sounds so shitty. Roz, who is at least related to someone who’s trying to get elected and has her porntape stuff. Carla who…is trans and that makes her high-profile because…Indiana. Yuck. And then, JOYCE, who DARED to be involved in a shooting!!!
Plus that’s shitty that the RA got fired. What was he supposed to do? They filmed it with a cellphone. Students can have sex in the dorms. The RA can’t just confiscate phones on suspicion of banging. Roz and Joe were consenting adults. Bad for the college as it is, publicity wise…blaming the RA is so shitty.
Yup. Roz and Carla and Joyce can joke about being difficult if they like, but when it comes from the RM it’s just… yeah… Shitty.
Honestly, I was hoping Unknown Evil actually meant Carla…who is maybe only actually “Evil” by Mary’s measuring stick, but even though helping people is probably as “counter to her brand” as “feelings” are, the times when she does stuff to help out makes it pretty clear that she’s generally got decent intentions at least.
Even if she’s not someone who’d ever want the job or probably be picked for it with her “flashpoint” status. She’d probably begrudgingly do a decent job of it though.
Yeah, it’s a really nasty turn of phrase and Carla and Joyce’s inclusion on it really put it in some awful light.
What I want is sleep now…
Can’t Minecraft.
zzzz
Be sure to have a nightlight on. Otherwise the creepers will spawn in your bedroom.
….
… pleasant dreams.
Dream of No Man’s Sky.
No they won’t, mobs only spawn 24+ blocks away.
This seems like a job for angry Ruth. Ruth does not have to do anything, and she’s at a point where “Sir” can’t actually make anything worse for her.
She needs to tell Pudding Head (as I will now call her since she has nothing but pudding in her brain) that violating her rights and calling her guardian is not remotely acceptable, and could mean she could easily sue her. She should reveal that there is another flashpoint in that floor, and that she can reveal that you put a mentally ill person in charge of all the students on that floor.
And she should reveal “Sir” is her abuser and the reason why she is suicidal in the first place. And that, now that she’s getting better, she is NOT going to let him pull her back down again.
With any luck, he will slap her for her disobedience, and that will be the end of all of this.
Except that Ruth has years of conditioning not to directly stand up to Clint.
Even protesting as much as she has is a sign of how desperate she is.
I don’t think you intend it, but this sounds a lot like “Depressed person should just get up and get over it.” Maybe she should, but she can’t.
It’s odd to me that some commentors do not see the red flags when they are far more obvious than what you see in real life, especially as visibly terrified/upset as Ruth is instead of hiding it behind her mask.
Then I think back on life, and I’m less confused and more resigned. :/
With all the whacky stuff happening while spotlighting the incompetence of the authorities, I’m wondering if its possible for IU to sue Willis for defamation.
Possible, yes. Advisable, no.
Quite possibly because he still has blackmail material on some of them, if there’s any resemblance to reality.
I just realized this, but maybe the reason Howie is so nonchalant about his grandfather being here is that Ruth is the only victim of his abuse (whether physical or just verbal/emotional). Like in A Child Called It where the mom for whatever reason chose to treat one child as subhuman and doted on her other child as normal.
But in this case abuse could be all behind the scenes where not even Howie was made aware of it. Not that abusing both children would be acceptable, but only hurting one child is just as shitty, because then you have a sibling that doesn’t even know that you’re being hurt, and may not even believe you’re being hurt, kind of how Walky is oblivious to what Sal went through.
It was just bothering me why Howie can’t see that his Sister is scared of her grandfather and then it just clicked and now I made myself sad. How did I go from reading a comic about toys to Abuse Recollections: The Comic ™ (board game pending).
We don’t know much about Howie. But your take being right wouldn’t surprise me.
And being the older sister, by four years, I can imagine Ruth doing some selective obfuscation to shield her little brother. When one is that age a four year gap seems huge.
Ruth also has a touch of that protective side to her (i.e. screwing up herself and Billie, willing participant, is bad, but letting their affair slip to Mary, who uses it to hurt an innocent Carla, is much worse).
Never read that book, but I think the term you’re looking for is the “golden child” while the one who gets all the blame is the “scapegoat.” It sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s a pretty common occurrence.
Example anecdote: I had to go visit my biological father every other weekend. One weekend, I show up and immediately upon arrival get told that I’m grounded for coloring on the glass door to the guest room. Obviously I had not done this; I was 1.5 hours away when it happened. My step-brothers told them I hadn’t done it and that they had seen my younger step-sister do it. I was still the one grounded for that weekend. Same situation for missing money, viruses on computers, etc.
My mother once called me, while I was away at school, to yell at me for my sister’s behavior.
It took a bit of effort for me to work out what was going on, but she acknowledged that was what she was doing.
Additional comment: Isn’t Chloe going over her “problem students” with Cane Dad present a breach in confidential information? I know he’s family of a RA, but even so he has no reason or right to information about any other students besides his granddaughter. Granted, I don’t have experience with a school’s inner workings, but I would imagine it’d be like any other business: you don’t tell one client personal information regarding other clients.
Also, I really hope Chloe is aware of what’s going on and will try to help Ruth, because this is really painful to watch.
In this case there ia no expectation of privacy it was a public scandal Roz did everything in her power to apread it most likely locally. Common knowledge given that she posted it online and all the studebts were talking About it
Probably.
I feel there is a cavalier attitude to the rules in general (or at least the rules the bosses have to follow), especially as she’s discussing disciplinary matters as well with an outside person on top of everything else.
It’s possible, but I think not likely. Ruth’s expressed concern about Howie being with him before.
And frankly, Howie’s behavior doesn’t strike me as normal nonchalance. We haven’t seen much of him, but I suspect he’s also abused and what we see is his coping mechanism – denial and withdrawal into fantasy.
He also made sure, without explicitly saying anything, to give Ruth at least a few seconds of warning that Clint was there. That might have been intentional.
He’s all smiles and thumbs up and eyebrows hovering in midair. So technically not nonchalant, but rather exuberant 😛 Even so, you’d think if he was aware of the abuse he wouldn’t bother keeping the facade on just for Ruth and Billie. He doesn’t even really warn her, Ruth put two and two together and had to ask him. And with that “nope!” I swear I could hear the ^_^ face being made. No, I’d much rather believe he’s ignorant to his Sister’s abuse, because without ignorance he just would come off as uncaring or cruel, and that’s not how he seems to be portrayed normally. Naive and obsessive, but not cruel.
Also wanted to give internet hugs/sympathy via appropriate levels of contact to whoever needs it D’:
I’ve always felt that my sister–the other one, not the favorite–seemed to put an awful lot of effort into not noticing anything was wrong.
I think her casual not-noticing-anything has impacted her behavior as an adult totally separate from being around our mother. She can be very… knowledgeable but not aware concerning the suffering of others.
Howie… might remind me of her. I’m not sure.
Exuberance and cheerfullness works GREAT as a coping mechanism for ongoing abuse. Like… literally smiling impacts mood, so smiling a lot and asserting that you are TOTALLY ALRIGHT is a working way of making the rest of your life that is not immediate abuse a little better. Of course, it doesn’t actually FIX anything, but this isn’t exactly an easily fixable situation period.
And then there’s the “this is totally normal and we have it pretty good compared to what could have been and sir grandpa cares” perception that I bet he goes to A LOT of trouble to reinforce. Ruth doesn’t seem like she actually discusses the shittiness of the situation with Howard, and he in turn would assume that even if something feels wrong, it’s just him.
(Sir Asshole would have taught him ALL the explanations. He’s just ungrateful, he’s just being a wimp, he doens’t know how lucky he is, etc)
So yeah, Stepford Smiling abound.
Clint reminds me a bit of my father, and it makes me angry 🙁
The relationships – especially the bad ones in this comic are so well-written – and so are the characters!
To be honest, I didn’t completely understand what was going on here, until I read the comments and the people commenting that they experienced situations like this. Which might help everyone who didn’t know what they were seeing (and it seemed *weird* but I couldn’t put my finger on it), recognizing situations like this in the future.
So, confirmed as a controlling arsehole. Gotcha.
Chloe, you need to be less concerned with filling a job role and pay attention to what’s going on in front of you.
“It’s a shorter line ever since an RA was made scapegoat for not preventing two teenagers from boning.”
Yeah, riddle of the ages why this gig suddenly seems less appealing. I’m SURE it has to do with the people on the floor, not the bosses.
Yeah, if Carla wasn’t trans people wouldn’t ever rethink an RA job where they’ll be blamed for not spying on their resident’s sex lives. Really it’s all on her. She’s such a flashpoint.
Well, now, to be fair, the issue is less that Carla is trans, and more that she’s That Ruttech Girl, which means her family would probably be upset if we openly abused her for being trans.
so, y’know, it’s not that she’s trans, it’s that she’s trans and we’re not allowed to treat her badly because of it.
i really hate chloe. so much.
Oh yes, oh yes, important distinction.
That is a level of awful that didn’t occur to me.
It’s weird how this is the worst case scenario. ‘rock bottom’ would’ve been so much more cathartic
Surprised by the lack of medical style input into this process. Ruth was just under suicide watch and medical care provided by the University. One might think that the nice doctor’s opinion about giving Ruth her job back might have been sought.
You might also discuss the matter with the student / adult involved, rather than presenting a fait accomplis to someone who is visibly fragile. I have trouble believing that IU’s legal / HR department would allow this due to the legal liability, so they probably weren’t involved. If this goes south, it could be worse than any sex tape and be the result of Chloe’s decision.
Chloe is using a short circuited process here, because it is short and she can get back to all the rest of her duties and other young adults busily making bad decisions. But Chloe is the one making a bad decision here. Bad Chloe.
She was not considered “someone relevant” and that tells you everything. Ruth wasn’t considered relevant in the decision making process, her doctor wasn’t considered relevant, only “sir”.
And I’m going to guess it’s because “sir” has very relevant money to donate or has other influence he can use to lean. So who cares about silly things like if it’s medically ethical or wanted by the person in question.
None of that actually falls on Chloe though. If there is money donated or other influence, it’s applied at higher levels than a Residence Manager. Likely the word has come down from above to bury this. She could push back, but she also thought, and somewhat justifiably up to now, that Ruth didn’t really want to lose the job.
I am rapidly losing what little faith I had left in Chloe, but not all of this mess is her fault.
Very true.
Not being a professional in her direct dealings with her staff is entirely her fault though. Where pressure is coming from is irrelevant; if she’s getting leaned on by superiors or by Clint, her job (for the minimal bloody definition she seems to be taking it as that we’ve been seeing) is to discuss that with them and then if the outcome is a fait accompli that neither her nor Ruth have any realistic input to, then she takes that outcome to Ruth and discusses it with her separately.
Simply put, I just want to know why? Why is it so important for Clint to have Ruth stay on as an R.A.? There must be other jobs at the University that Ruth could do instead. So, why is this one so important?
It’s not. But it’s the control that’s important.
This.
As someone (I should go look) noted in last strip’s comments, being RA provides structure, responsibility, but nothing (like actual income) which would allow someone to become more independent. It’s a millstone, a shackle.
That was me!
And yeah, it’s a job that provides housing, not income, so Ruth is still dependent on him (and thus feels obligated to listen to his bullshit, because if she isn’t she doesn’t get any regular spending money). It’s structured, has responsibility, and is something he can boast about without worrying that she’s going to get all independent on him. And it’s clear he has a lot of access to her employers in this job and steer her employment, which he definitely wouldn’t have if she say worked for Galasso instead.
And that last point means he also can dangle the job like a Sword of Damocles. “I got you this job, I kept you in this job, I can take it away and leave you homeless if you disobey me again.”
Plus, it’s the job he’s chosen, and I imagine he’s the type of asshole who can’t ever bear to admit when he’s wrong about something, so fuck it. I chose RA so now you will be RA until I saw you can’t, not when you feel you can’t.
It’s kind of the perfect position for an abuser because it grants the least amount of freedom, while retaining the most “learning the value of hard work”, and giving the easiest route to claim that he fully funds her despite the fact that she’s working a fairly demanding job (especially on this floor, because main characters).
Ruth did get paid, according to Billie, but I’d not be shocked if it wasn’t enough to move out for the summer – at least not for a very long time.
“brown kid”? ExCUSE me?!?
I’m not sure if you’re serious; in case you are, it’s not “the brown kid” but “the Brown kid,” as in, Joyce Brown.
seriously, though, that was not well chosen language, especially for someone who’s supposed to be an RM.
That too was my initial reaction.
I mean, we can criticize the ethics/legality of bringing Ruth back to her position as much as we like, but don’t forget that this is the university that was apparently aware of her behaviour all along and fucking [b]encouraged[/b] her.
And I think we’re going to find out WHY.
I think the grandfather isn’t as bad as we think. Sure, he may have a firm hand in things (no not like that by any means) but I think he means very well for Ruth’s sake. I think she’s making it seem like he’s horrible when in reality, she’s the one with the problem and her grandfather is trying to push her to better herself. Not ALL of the parental figures in this series need to be total butthole. I think he means well for Ruth’s sake and I’ll give this university credit, the fact that they know ALL of this and THEN some and figure SHE’S the best fit for the job, says more about the school and less about Ruth, ethics or legalities aside…Unless there’s a large sum of money involved, in which case…*shrug*
I don’t think when the grandfather said the word “investment” he meant specifically money. There’s more than one way to invest into someone.
Meaning well does not make his shit non-abusive. The guy’s been dripping red flags since he got here and Ruth’s established he’s abusive a while ago. We’ve got no reason to assume she’s lying. Again, having the twist here be that the abuse victim is lying/exaggerating/wrong because mental illness is kind of a really terrible trope that needs to die in a fire. May as well end Sal’s storyline with ‘and the racism was all in the black kid’s head’ or Amber’s with ‘y’know, Amber’s kinda 100% irredeemable, she really DOES need AG to be a good person, guess her self hatred was right’.
Sometime later.
Ruth: Okay, Chloe, so who’s the new RA?
Chloe: Ummm, we just established that you are the-
Ruth: Whoa whoa whoa! We can’t go against my Grandpa on this one.
Chloe: Your grandfather said-
Ruth: You were there. I said we should assign anyone to be RA other than me. And he looked me directly in the eye and told me, quote “You will do this. Ruth, you will do this.” He clearly approves of this plan.
Ooh, that would be hella sneaky. I love it.
And there was much rejoicing. Given that I’ve decided Chloe is both neutral evil (as compared to lawful or chaotic evil) and gullible evil, I’d actually give that plan 50-50 odds of success.
“You will do this. Mental health is for the weak. I have been in wars.”
I think he’s just pushing a brand of tough love on her because he probably remembers what she was like before she became bitter (“Your stupid overconfidence is nostalgic”) and he’s trying to help, but she’s not making it easy by any means. You get back whatever you put forward, so, being a former soldier, dealing with someone who’s treating his efforts with insubordinate behavior, I can see his patience wearing very thin after a while. (plus, old people REALLY don’t give a shit after a certain age) Just my view of it. Cause, really, look at how she’s still VERY down on herself but the head R.A. and her grandfather still have faith in her. An abrasive means of it, yes, but still faith.
Yeah, it’s not like Ruth clearly doesn’t want this job anymore and he refuses to listen to her. Oh wait.
Seriously, this isn’t “though love”. He’s being an asshole: “oh, my granddaughter is suicidal? Whatever. Oh, wait, she might lose the job she hates? I MUST INTERVENE!”
That’s not faith, dude. Chloe just wants to go back to those times in which she could pretend everything was great with Ruth because that meant less work for her, and Clint is treating Ruth like she was in boot camp: you push them as hard as you can regardless of if they can take it, and if they break, oh well, it’s not like you cared about them in the first place.
Not on you, but I have a hard time interpreting “tough love” as anything other than making excuses for abuse given how much my dad insisted on calling his fucked-up shit “tough love”. I really only ever see it come up with regards to folks I know for a fact are abusing them in some way (the worst was the one using that to explain the way he was sexually assaulting a kid, luckily I think we got her out of that situation… I hope. Last I left it it looked like she was safely with her mom now.)
Yeah, “tough love” might be okay for physical trainers and drill sergeants, but not parent. Actual love and support are called for here.
Especially since Ruth isn’t being “down on herself”. She is depressed. Depression isn’t something that you can just power through. That’s why she was in the hospital. That’s why she’s got meds and therapy.
Mister SIR will NOT be denied.
Hey, look on the bright side, Ruth. I think you’ve pretty much got carte blanche to to make out with Billie in the hallway and have your boss just smile that fake-looking smile and pretend not to see it.
A lot of people are (rightfully) calling Chloe incompetent and an abuse enabler because she’s missing all the flags with Sir’s words and Ruth’s body language.
It raises the question though: how responsible are bystanders for getting recognizing and involved in abusive situations?
We sadly live in a society that outright trains us not to stick out noses in the private lives of others, especially if they’re not friends or family.
I think Chloe is acting on a lifetime of social conditioning of “families have dynamics different from your own so don’t comment on it” and “don’t listen to mentally ill people because they don’t know their own mind” abd “parents know what is best for their children, even their adult children”
Not saying Chloe is off the hook here, since she still as a certain responsibility to protect Ruth; but I don’t think Chloe is actively malicious in ignoring the signals.
Okay, but, like, she just called several of her most vulnerable charges “flashpoints” for daring to be… you know… sexually active, threatened by a gunman, and transgender.
like.
she is BEING actively malicious. the question of whether she intends to be is kind of irrelevant.
Now this part, yeah, this part she can fuck right off over. Like it’s one thing to not recognize the red flags and assume you’re having a perfectly normal if awkward conversation and dismiss the clear cries of help from a survivor and another to just leak a really twisted way of looking at the world and dropping sensitive information about 18-20 year old kids to an unknown and unauthorized man just because he “helped” you out.
Like fuck, she even drops the details of disciplinary actions. Like, c’mon lady, that’s not small talk material.
Chloe isn’t a bystander. Making sure Ruth could cope with being an RA and doing it properly is Chloe’s JOB. Like, she’s getting paid to do exactly that. It’s like saying that a mailman is responsible for delivering letters, but not for delivering them to the right people.
I would agree that it’s very easy for bystanders to ignore what is happening, especially if they don’t have those experiences, but the red flags are really transparent so I’m disappointed that she’s not at least cottoning on to something being wrong even if she’s not sure what immediately and offering to discuss things one on one by having “sir” step out of the room for a sec.
But the sad reality is when bystanders ignore or act like an act of abuse in front of them is normal, it sends clear signals to the abuser that no one will stop them and to the victim that no one will support them and that they must be making up how bad it felt.
Not having people react more to my rape, including people I trusted very deeply (they said they were frozen in shock, which… so was I so yeah, I don’t blame them) led me to assume that was normal and that it would be impolite or unseemly to make a scene.
I don’t blame people who don’t intervene, but I wish more would. Or at least recognize what’s going on and reach out to survivors more and let them know that they see that and don’t think that’s normal or right. Cause that can be everything to a survivor.
When my friends talk about their unhappy childhoods, I always feel left out. Having had a non-awful childhood, I am grateful to those who explain in loving////// detail exactly why Sir is so horrible. So I am also grateful to someone who defends the position that Grampa Clint -might- be a sorta OK guy.
(leaving off here because I am sure that Willis has had his fill of artful trolls quoting Voltaire at him.)
So when I first saw these last couple of strips, my first thought was to write an alternate version where Sir gets called out, kicked out, and Ruth gains a responsible and empathetic elder as part of her support structure. But after a bit of thought, I have a better one:
Ruth decides F all this and starts to pack up to disappear on everyone (except Billie, who would stay connected via a secret el-cheapo pay-as-you-go phone) but then Carla decides to make up for miscalculating about Ruth’s home being “safe”. Carla convinces her parents to take Ruth in, and use technology to make things better. Ruth gets a new body that can’t be hurt, a new identity, and an emotional reset. And then when Sir shows up again to try and control her, he discovers that “Penny” is not programmed to obey him. She informs him she’s combat ready, whips out a bunch of knives, spins them around in the air, and blasts him with a green plasma cannon.
Yeah, I was hoping he wouldn’t be a monster but he is and it’s bad in a bad situation for Ruth. I will say that Chloe is now more interesting. I like that she’s a person who is normally nice but who throws people under the bus if it means her job being easier–there’s a lot of people like that in the real world.
Honestly he’s being cast as the villain here but I’m not seeing this. His grand-daughter fucks up (and yes, she did fuck up, even of it IS love) and loses her job. He comes and he gets her the job back. Would it have been preferable to have her be jobless? Worse yet, to carry around the mill stone of being fired for gross breach of contract?
I feel like more is gonna need to be done to really effectively cast this guy as a villain… Or is he not supposed to be one? Ho’s biggest crimes thus far are bad phrasing.
Wow, you’ve been reading this comic for what, five seconds?
It’s clear you do not read the comments.
Question: You get a call informing you that someone you care about, someone you raised from childhood, wants to /die/ and broke rules at her job because of how depressed she is. Is your first course of action really to go and probably bribe her boss into not firing her? Because I am fairly certain a good parent/guardian/family member/person should be more concerned about the wanting to die part. When he first saw her after learning this, he didn’t even bother to ask how she was or if she was okay or why she didn’t reach out to him sooner. The first thing he did was say he fixed her mess, protected his investment, and isn’t she ungrateful about it! He didn’t take into account what she wants or even what is best for her mental health. Abuse isn’t always about punching and yelling. More often than not, it’s about subtle choice of words said with a smile to make the victim feel worthless and powerless. Plus, there’s a witness here (Chloe) that he has to look good in front of. If Ruth ever says “My grandfather is abusive and I’m scared” Sir now has the ability to shake his head, laugh, say she’s exaggerating for attention, and point out, “Did I really look all that scary to you when you saw me with her? I helped her, remember. I smiled and laughed and got her her job back, and now she’s trying to say I hurt her.” And then a discredited Ruth loses support and falls even deeper into his control. Just because he’s not wielding a shotgun, does not mean he’s not an abuser. If anything, he’s worse, because this kind of damage is a lot harder to heal.
I mean, I know it’s super easy for some of you to scroll past LITERALLY ALL of the comments on your way to the bottom of the page to leave your own, but I feel like you might benefit from slowing down on the way and reading some of them.
one of the two links to ‘comments’ from the main page will take you straight to the bottom and the new comment box, no scrolling needed. personally i find it frustrating when i click the wrong link cuz now i have to scroll aaaaall the way back up (on my phone) so i can read the comments, which is what i actually wanted to do rather than leave a comment. but, y’know, i can see why it’d be useful for driveby commenters in a hurry.
Well, she has stated that she doesn’t want the job. It’s implied that the job has contributed to her suicidal depression and that losing it, despite all the practical hassles, has felt like a massive lightening of her load.
He did not consult with her at all before doing whatever he did to get her the job back, he did not even inform her she was doing it. He is overriding her objections without even acknowledging them, just ordering her to do it.
He is denying her any agency or choice – she will do what he wants.
Now she has the millstone of knowing that she would have been fired for gross breach of contract and everyone knows it and knowing she only got the job back by some form of bribery or other deal. Made worse now that the girls on her floor know all about her and her problems – she’s not going to be able to rule by fear and has no idea how else to do it.
All that taken in light of the few comments she’s let slip about him and what we saw of the only previous interaction – the phone call that drove her to drink herself into a stupor.
Yeah, he’s the villain.
But you’re right, it’s going to get worse – by parallel with Ross, we’re about at scene where he showed up on campus looking for Becky and he’s talking to Dina. Then we knew what Becky’d said about running away and we had a few sketchy lines from him. It wasn’t until the next day (their time) that the gun came out.
The gun isn’t out yet. We’re not at the climax. It’s going to get worse.
It’s worse than that. Ruth’s worst side was brought out by the RA position that she HURT other students and intimidated them–presumably to feel something. She was an AWFUL RA and Chloe is just letting her slide because it benefits her patron and the university’s.
It makes all of her earlier niceness questionable.
“her patron”? Chloe’s? That doesn’t make any sense to me. She may be supporting it and is apparently a horrible judge of character and has little clue what was going on Ruth’s floor, but this isn’t really her fault. Whatever strings Clint pulled weren’t hers, but higher up.
My read on Ruth is more that it was only way she knew to keep anyone from realizing how much of a failure she was so she wouldn’t lose her job and incur Clint’s wrath. Not to minimize how bad that style was. I suspect Chloe’s style pretty clueless about how Ruth ran things. OTOH, I don’t think anyone has actually complained to her that we know of. OTGH, she hasn’t really made any effort to find out, again, that we know of.
But I don’t think Chloe has any personal stake in this, beyond the bother of finding another RA. Clint isn’t doing anything for her. She’s likely been told from her superiors to bury this and if she still thought Ruth wanted the job, she wouldn’t question that much. She’s certainly not showing her good side by shooting down Ruth’s protests though.
That seems awfully forgiving as everything I see about Chloe now makes me think of Sal’s elementary school principle. Her job isn’t to help the students, it’s to make problems go away and Ruth’s situation is a problem–only if it’s public.
Super unimpressed with this RM.
gonna need more popcorn for this.
Did this guy’s lower jaw just get taller? Also, fuck him. Fuck him so fucking fuckmuch.
Don’t cave Ruth
Don’t cave Ruth
In Valen’s name, DON’T CAVE!!
Chloe, all you have to do is not hire her back. Just say, “OK, I’ll find someone else”. That’s it. You don’t have to hire her back just cause wants you to and why would you want to force her to anyway?
This is super easy, Chloe.
Do the right thing, Chloe.
Finding someone else would require more effort and time than just forcing Ruth back into the position, and Chloe doesn’t want to expend any of either.
Technically, it’s not that easy. Ruth was never officially fired, so it’s not about “hiring her back”. She could be fired, but I’m pretty sure Chloe doesn’t actually make hiring/firing decisions and her superiors have been persuaded by Clint to do nothing here.
Ruth can theoretically quit, but she has to openly defy Clint for that. Chloe should be picking up on that conflict. That’s where she’s falling short.
Yes and as the HR lady, she will side with the person paying money to the school.
Dang it 🙁
What the hell is with that ARD.
I am so disappointed in her.
whats terrifying is how… realistic this sort of abuse is in this strip. you can just tell that he thinks he’s being a motivator, a sort of push that maybe he would have appreciated when he was her age. but of course ruth isnt him, ruth is ruth, and ruth has mental illnesses that cant just be willed away. i wouldnt even be surprised if maybe he saw the warning signs of ruth’s depressions and, being from an older misinformed generation, assumed he HAD to push her harder. thatd even explain how howie has such a different view of his grandfather – maybe he never has pushed howie the way he does ruth.
All I get out of this is him seeing her making some sort of ties to Desantos/politics with his stern desperation to keep Ruth here. I’m not sure how as we only seem to know anything about him from Ruth/Shortpacked and potential political things there, but man this still hurts.
There’s a particular kind of dread that comes with experiencing or witnessing a prelude to abuse like this. It feels like having someone drop liquid nitrogen in your stomach.
That’s exactly how that last panel makes me feel. I should have known he’d be too smart to abuse her in front of an authority figure. It’s a pity he’s not as stupid or impulsive as Blaine, or as ignorant as Toedad. People who keep their bullshit beneath the surface are that much harder to stop, let alone punish or arrest.
… You know who I hope shows up soon? One of two people who I know could and would do something about this, regardless of whether it worked.
Amber and Billie. (Money’s on Billie.) Hell, even Howard would be able to stop him, if only because Clint wouldn’t want a witness, but I suspect Howie doesn’t know anything is wrong. 🙁
Dammit, meant to post this on the next comic. XP