Not all nonmonogamy is cheating, y’know…
But I think maybe Becky needs some more time before she decides to be even less normative.
(I myself am happily polyamorous and have been for years now).
+n where n is a number ranging from a minimum of 2 and a maximum that is a subset of the number of individuals that are in your sphere of intimates that is no less than 2
Cheating is breaking the rules. I don’t imagine Dina or Becky are very interested in making up any hard and fast rules for their relationship. But what they will almost certainly do is communicate their intentions and desires earnestly and respectfully.
I imagine, in the worst case, Becky will bang other people, Dina will find she doesn’t like Becky doing that and then they will make it a rule. They both have a lot to learn about themselves, each other and the world, and they’re both aware of that.
Considering how worried Dina was that being around Joyce would cause Becky to lose interest, I think her reaction to Becky sleeping with someone else would be a bit worse than ”not liking it”. She would be really hurt by it.
Since they’re already at the point of referring to the other as ”my girlfriend”, I’d say their relationship is serious enough that some sort of rules should be assumed. Not having established that it isn’t okay to get physically and/or romantically intimate with other people doesn’t mean she could do something like that with being a huge jerk.
If you really want to be respectful and honest, certain rules gotta be established before you do something that could hurt your partner if they don’t expect the same things. Dorothy handled that really well (especially for a teenager, who usually aren’t so reasonable) when she told Walky up front that she didn’t want a serious or long-term relationship.
Monogamy is also not something that should be assumed, though. Everybody ought to make sure to establish at the very basic rules early on. Finding love involves enough drama and angst without adding more of it that can be avoided easily by talking to your significant other(s) before you start smushing your bits together
No, no–it was the Pushing Tree did the shoving. The Shoving Tree did the pushing. They were both there to protect you from the Terrible Secret of Wood.
to answer seriously, In It’s Walky Dina and Mike were an item. Dina kept him pleasantly lubricated with alcohol for a long period because Mike is a nicer drunk than a when he’s sober, and tied him up a few times, IIRC.
Forged 2000 years ago using ancient blood rituals of the Malchior people. Not only does this make the wood nigh indestructible but it can also bend the fabric of the universe itself!
We’ve only seen one interaction with them (in which they were off screen), for all we know they could still be pieces of shit in some other regard.
The thing about Hank is that he’s showing growth, people like that. He still has his flaws sure, who doesn’t, but the fact that he can look past his religion (which is a big deal for people as religious as the Browns, it’s their immortal soul after all) while we have 2 examples of what it would look like if he was either a worse or MUCH worse person.
That said though, what we’ve seen of Dina’s parents is cool beans and I hope that they stay the cool beans comic relief foil to all the other shitty parents in the series.
Technically we also met Dina’s parents during the freshmen family weekend, where they flubbed up pretty bad but immediately apologized. Yeah the story just doesn’t linger so much on good parents who cause no trouble to their kids, so I take that as pretty strong proof that dina’s parents = good.
I know! I was worried about fully trusting him, but he just keeps on raising his own bar and it’s so beautiful it keeps breaking my heart in all the best ways.
Seems that way. Explains why she likes dina biting her. Prolly a potential masochistic fetish? Dunno ,but the other thing i wonder is if the dina/ becky relationship will last
I understand the transparent eye idea, though I respectfully disagree with it. However I can’t honestly tolerate this time around as it’s almost on the side of horrifying.
Mr. Brown probably was included in the category somewhere between “Not my actual dad but close enough” and “Dad of cute almost-girlfriend best friend Joyce”, so he’s an acceptable casualty.
Plus, with joint bank accounts, she’s not really taking Mr. Brown’s money: it’s mostly so she can give it out in job interviews so they will hire her (because some people won’t hire people who don’t have bank accounts, and it’s extremely difficult for people with no credit score to open bank accounts).
Is it? I mean, I am one of them damn dirty fur’ners, and I managed to easily open up personal, non-joint accounts at both a credit union and a bank shortly after moving to USA, and before getting a job. Didn’t even have to bring a marriage certificate or anything.
Then again, from what I have learned, this is one of those things that can vary heavily from state to state, so I should not be too bombastic in my statements, right?
This. Plus, not wanting to rely on the charity of others doesn’t mean she won’t still need to rely on the charity of others in some respects. She’s gonna need money to put together the last of her documents. To rent an apartment. To get a job and not have to rely on scammy check cashing places. To do a lot of things.
And it’s also a sentiment that is common when you’re homeless. Or near to it. And have to beg others for the sustenance to survive and rely on their charity. You start feeling like an imposition on everyone who helps and like you’re not worth their kindness. And like you’re hurting them by taking what is freely given.
Doesn’t change one’s need to eat, but I can recognize that state of holding on by one’s teeth and wanting to be self-sufficient.
The impression I got from this is not quite so much as the financial support, as it is helping with the fact that it’s really hard to open a bank account when you are homeless. Bank accounts are helpful for jobs, finding places to live, etc etc. Depending how involved Carol is in the family finances, Hank may not even be able to support Becky with actual money more than a little bit here and there.
This is how I read it as well. Even if he’d offered to put some money in it, if only a hundred bucks for food and such while she looks for work, I don’t know that she have accepted it. She’s had the mindset drilled into her where accepting even small amounts from charity from people who care about you (and you’d do the same for in a heartbeat) is a horrible shameful thing, even when you could seriously use the help, if only to give you some breathing room.
That attitude and the people who sell it piss me the hell off.
Yup, especially on the mindset thing. That culture drums it in your head that no one is more vile and worthless than a person who has to beg for their survival. It is a sign of a sinner and someone who must have purposefully destroyed their life.
Even growing up adjacent to that culture, I still have a lot of issues about accepting charity for myself because of how ingrained those messages became.
I have the same issue, compounded by the feeling that any help I receive will give that someone some measure of control over me. For reasons, that’s something I avoid like the plague.
Since Walky is in this strip, I think it’s only appropriate to mention that this attitude is also a MAJOR reason why he has not turned to anyone for helping him with his studies; because he subconsciously thinks of that as accepting charity.
And while this is speculation, I’m pretty sure that more than once when visiting Billie, he’s overheard Billie’s father —you know, the person that moves poor people to other cities— talk about people that need help as some sort of parasites and losers. And yeah, he might have been specifically talking about money, but it’s oh-so-easy to make it seep into other areas as well.
And none of us like to think of ourselves as losers. So it is only natural that we seek to avoid doing things that will make us feel like we are (or make other people think we are). Natural, and often so very, very toxic.
Just one more reason why this attitude should piss us all the hell off.
She’s not taking his money; she’s just using his credit to open an account. It will only cost him anything if she overdrafts or defaults or otherwise incurs fees–then he’ll be on the hook for those if she can’t pay them.
Yes, that is exactly what she’s saying.
“I don’t have to take help from Billie much longer because soon I will take help from Hank instead…… I HATE being this dependent.”
Same as her comment about finding herself a job when Dina wanted to treat her to a fancy dinner. She hates feeling worthless and dependent and like she’s imposing on her friends. And I imagine she’ll be even less keen to be dependent on others once she realizes that Joyce has been skipping meals to feed her.
I dunno. I don’t know about how Indiana works, but I know from back when I was on them in my state, that it seemed I needed a residence so they could keep track of what county was in charge of distributing that aid. So not having a permanent residence might hurt her on that account, but maybe Jocelyne will offer to let her list her place as Becky’s permanent residence so she can get access.
One can be grateful for help, even charity, while not wanting to continually being in a position of having to rely on it. Gratitude, realism and pride are not mutually exclusive.
Her relationship with Dina would be ruined. Dina would want the locker door open so she can stand behind it, but Becky wants it closed while she’s inside.
Wait, Billie shoved Walky into lockers just like bullies do? I guess you don’t count childhood memories when it comes to having a reputation in highschool.
Sal knows, Carla announced it to the whole hall, including right in front of Sal in Sal/Billie’s room. Sal doesn’t seem likely to care very much whether two people are kissing though.
Oh, I see. My bet is still that Sal kinda shrugs it off, like, it’s kinda bonkers but not her concern. (Sarah wishes she could be that detached!) I am not all that good at predicting, though.
I think she is almost as worried about Billie as Walky, but has even less of a clue what to do about it, so she took to the window as soon as the FEELs started.
I know that haircut is supposed to be funky (from Becky’s perspective, nit Willis’) but it makes her look like a puppy someone has kicked once too often.
That’s what I was thinking. Even if that was the case, that really works for her.
And it’s not supposed to look funky, it’s an undercut. It’s pretty much 20-something alternative and seen in a lot of young queer women and genderqueer folks these days.
And on a real person, it wouldn’t always fall in such a thick, uniform sheet that you wouldn’t usually be able to see some of their face through it. It’s just that given the art style, including enough detail to see where it would separates to make her eye visible would clutter everything up, and trying to make the hair over her face look transparent would just look strange.
Just google “undercut”. 37 million people must be rocking one around the globe at the moment. Of course, there are many variations, so you might want to search for baby dyke undercut. Or you might not.
I rocked Becky’s hairstyle between ages 13 to 16. From ages 33 to 36, I rocked another couple undercuts, high and tight and one with a tight fade and a pompadour. The biggest challenge is keeping all of the hair from flopping over the part and looking all raggedy. Otherwise it’s a great style: it looks good and it’s easy to manage.
A Public Service Message Brought to You by Undercuts!
One kick of a puppy that’s known for biting and going for the small child is called for. It sucks when it has to happen, but a kicked puppy is better than a stitched kid.
Bagge: “Just say ‘Hi’ Hank, how hard could it be?”
Hank: “Of course, Becky, you are always welcome.”
Bagge: “Come ON, Hank, Carol is your wife. Say something.”
Hank: “The asked me if they could use the car this morning”
Bagge: “Mayyyybee not leaving Becky alone with Carol in church?”
Hank: “Let’s get you back to Bloomington”
Bagge: “After all this you could at least show Becky some emotional support”
Hank: “Your mother would be proud of what you have become”
Bagge: “…or give her some cash or buy her some food or something”
Becky: “Mr Brown said he’d open a joint bank account with me.”
OK I GET IT, Hank. The Daddy of the year mug is in the mail. They had to bring an extra truck for it.
And everybody who I argued against about Hank neglecting Becky a few days ago – you were right, I was wrong. Hank DIDN’T leave without helping Becky. Daddy of the year indeed.
Consider the competition…
SIERRA’s DAD…. tried to stop Blaine that one time.
DOROTHY’S DAD…. is nice and friendly
SAL’s DAD…. acknowledged her existence.
DINA’s DAD… stands around with an empty expression.
“Yes, I am a ‘Dad,’ that puts me in the… male gender group?”
“Yes, but are you any good at it?”
“I have a child. I believe it is a she…”
“I’m just gonna mark you down as ‘Present.'”
*Scratches head.* :Are you a boy or a girl?”
“…and “Possible Pokémon Professor.”
You were right to be skeptical. When Hank invited Becky along, he had been blindsided. He didn’t expect her to ask and wasn’t sure how to respond. When he lied about the car, he told them that he did it because he didn’t want to lose an argument. The other acts of support were more about Joyce than Becky. Frankly, we hadn’t seen him do anything truly significant for Becky before he took them to the clinic. Offering meaningful material support was going to be a lot harder and there was a reasonable chance that he was going to waffle when it counted.
I was hopeful because the way he spoke to Joyce suggested that he was proud of her ability to push back against a community and a family when she believed that they were wrong and he wished that he shared her strength.
I forgot one!
Bagge: ToeDad hunted them WITH A GUN!!!! Please at least distance yourself from THAT.
Hank: Damn right he was an asshole. Good that you punched him, Joyce.
Weird usually the hot cheerleader girls would have the jocks shove people into loc kersey rather than do it themselves…Also I’m getting the impression that Billie wasn’t the best friend ever growing up.
He general build to me seems to indicate she was the, tosser? Catcher? I don’t know these terms, ok? She looks strong enough, anyways. Plus any job worth doing…
A joint bank account doesn’t mean he’s just giving her money. It’s more likely she can’t open a bank account for some reason or maybe she doesn’t know how to manage her own so he’s helping her figure it out while she gets a job and place to live. Also it may make it easier to find an apartment or something. I don’t know much about them to be honest. Point is it’s probably not about handouts
Seriously. Principles are one thing, but you also gotta eat. And it’s real hard to survive on principles alone if you’re trying to survive. Had to learn that lesson the hard way.
I absolutely think he gave her some money, but I think the bank account is the more important part of the gesture. Enough for food for the next few days, but probably not enough for the first couple months down on an apartment. As for why – Carol. If she’s completely uninvolved in finances beyond spending (’cause math isn’t for ladies), then he could put in a lot (and likely would, given what we have seen) without dealing with the blowup at home, but if Carol is paying attention, then there could be issues. He has been siding with the kids over his wife this storyline, so going behind her back with a large chunk of cash is not out of the question, but there may be consequences.
Now, if Willis is going down the autobiographical road of some of the more …interesting…financial details of his own parents’ divorce, then Carol finding out may not matter. Carol and Hank playing charity one-upsmanship where Carol donates more ridiculous things to the church? That could get exciting.
Yeah I don’t know if a bank would open account for Becky alone.
Hi! I’m jobless, penniless, and technically homeless, but I want to open an account! Oh, did I mention that my father brought a rifle to a college with the intent to shoot anyone in his way?
Yeah… uh, we’re closed right now… *Scoot scoot scoot*
Maybe she needs him as a signatory/guarantor in order to get an account – she only has minimal ID and no credit history. Or maybe as a guardian, is she 18 yet? I can’t remember.
She’s 18, but since 18-year-olds are not known for being responsible or good with money, it’s still extremely helpful for Hank to co-sign, since it will make it easier to get credit, and apply for student loans.
Hell, just helping her set up an account would have been really helpful. I sure as crap wouldn’t have known how to set one up at 18.
Pretty sure in this sense “joint bank account” just means Hank makes an account with her that she can use while he acts as a responsible adult telling the bank “no she’s cool don’t worry about it”. Plus it means she can use his address for official stuff and have her name on bank statements and stuff, which is something that can actually be a big deal when you’re doing adult things like getting jobs and places to live. Maybe he’ll slip her a little money into the account, if he thinks she needs it, but I doubt she asked him for it or he specified that.
He can mail it up to Joyce. How often do you need anything you get via snail mail the week you get it, after all? And using a campus address might be a problem when she’s not actually a student. BUT either way, still useful to have a bank account set up with Hank backing her up.
Her current address is in flux, and having things addressed to Becky going to Joyce’s mailbox would be suspicious. It’d be better for it to be sent to Hank, put in another envelope, then sent to Joyce (Or Dina) to give to Becky.
She’s not taking his money, or at least not much. She intends to work but will need a checking acct for direct deposit, something that is much easier if your parent sets it up for you. I’ve done it for all of my kids. Becky’s dad didn’t for her since his plans for her was to be a baby factory for some guy he approved of.
Yay, I needed one of those. I gave out my last one earlier today, on one the last few comics. I don’t remember which one now. Maybe I should comment less.
Alternative Universe Where Everyone Goes To HighSchool Together:
Billie: “Out of my way, nerd.” *shoves Becky into closet.*
Becky: “That’s a mighty interesting feeling in my pants right there…. oooooh!!!!” *Closet explodes*
I’ll shove HER locker. Wait, no. She can put a lock on my shover anytime. Wait, no. Goddammit, there’s a way to make this dirty and I AM gonna find it.
Hank: Lord, I have listened and prayed and although all this is new and strange to me I think I understand the role you have planned for me and what you want me to be for my children.
“Josh”: Dad, we need to talk…
Sadly, I think this will mark the beginning for a bitter battle between Hank and Carol about their children.
Round one: Hank wins Joyce (and Becky)
Round two: Carol wins John
Round three: Bitter struggle for Jocelyne which will most likely end with her coming out.
Round four: Carol puts pressure on Joyce. It will be extremely traumatic for everyone involved.
He’s not been tagged yet. I dunno. If we do, it’ll probably be at an appropriate dramatic moment, but he might have more value for now as a reminder to Hank of what he lost trying to hold on to the morality he used to try and hold close.
But there’s one round unaccounted for! What about Snoop? Where does he stand?
When Joyce and Becky showed up at the house, did he so much as acknowledge Becky?? No! Sure, it was all right and proper that Joyce got an immediate slobbering, but not so much as a glance at Becky? Really, Snoop?
I’m assuming Cerberus is working on her critique right now, so I’ll just leave this here for now. Panels 2 & 4 seem to be MaskBecky. And with seeing the seriousness concerning Billie by Walky in Panel 3, she lets it go in 5 & 7.
Yeah, I’d agree with that. Panel 2 seems to be mask Becky, Panel 4 seems to have that mask just shattering on her face, and panel 5 she just looks tired. This weekend took a lot out of her.
She’s building a small pool. Dina, Walky, Hank… She may finally feel safe enough in the relatively soon future to be able to open up more emotionally and let herself be the Debbie Downer on occasion instead of always feeling like she needs to be Wacky Becky, never brought down by anything. Not the betrayal of family, not her worst nightmares, not the crushing reality of what she has lost. Nope, Wacky Becky keeps on going when her limbs are stiff and her heart is heavy.
And you can’t sustain that. Like, it can keep you moving, but at the cost of a lot of nights just staring at the ceiling, too tired to even self-injure. Becky being able to reach out a little? That’s way healthier.
I really think Walky and Becky will develop a strong friendship and be really good for each other. Walky need to allow himself to let go of Wacky Walky as well.
Panel 1: Well, that’s the heaviest ‘kay possible. Not helped by Walky probably delivering the most haunted “oh, Billie said you could stay here” he possibly could because both of them are actively terrified for Billie’s safety and well-being.
Panel 2: Oh, Becky, that smile. That mask is slipping and hard. Those flashbacks after this intense weekend, feeling back in that place discovering her mom, oof. Just oof.
Though there’s a vain hope in it too, just wanting to confirm her worst fears aren’t coming true. That Billie will take her bed back instead of continuing to give it to her as a suicide gift, because she can’t take Joyce cuddles right now, but she can’t even begin to take suicide bed gift even. That’s too hard of an ask for her.
Panel 3: Oh Walky, that line. You’ve known Billie for years. You know some of her bullshit and you’re so justifiably terrified of the headspace your essentially sister is in. And you know her promises don’t tend to be worth a damn (I love Billie, but she doesn’t often see keeping a promise as a big thing or prioritize it that often), so her promising to hold on for a bit longer fills you with just as much fear and apprehension as Ruth’s “I’m not killing myself yet” did for Billie.
And this feels like Walky at his best and all those traits that make me want to root for his continued growth even when he’s being a butt. There’s so much empathy in this, so much fear and pain. And yet, despite all his worries about Billie, he still makes sure to check in with Becky and where she’ll be if Billie comes around.
It’s a really good empathetic action and proof that when he gets shaken out of his head a bit and his own mask of performance, he’s one damn empathetic person who values others and frequently puts them first. In that respect, he’s very much alike Carla and Becky.
“It’s a really good empathetic action and proof that when he gets shaken out of his head a bit and his own mask of performance, he’s one damn empathetic person who values others and frequently puts them first. In that respect, he’s very much alike Carla and Becky.”
I’m not so sure I’d call it a mask. Or at least, I would not call is a deliberate and carefully constructed mask, the way Carla and Becky most certainly are doing it. We both know the details of those masks, so I won’t repeat them here.
Now, I could agree that Walky’s stupid attitudes about masculinity and so on is… Well, it’s not who he is really meant to be. He is meant to grow out of that BS, and every now and then, we get to see those moments where he is either forgetting about it, or is in a position where he can ignore it. And when those moments come and we see the real Walky, then yes, we see that he cares about other people as much as anyone.
I would strongly agree on that being the difference between him and Becky/Carla. They are both intentionally putting on a mask, whereas he’s falling into a mask beating into him by socialization and which he doesn’t even notice putting on.
That’s a lot harder mask to deal with, because it’s not just a matter of opening up. It’s also learning to notice the mask in the first class. Luckily he’s going to a class that has a fair few lectures on masks.
I’d almost call it a jacket, not a mask. Reminds me a little of President Obama’s conversation with Marc Maron on his WTF podcast, where Obama said that he was trying on different things in college, different definitions of ‘cool’ and what it means to be a man. It’s a really interesting bit. Young people try on different scripts for their lives and interactions and relationships, and Walky’s toxic masculinity often feels like one of those scripts that he doesn’t yet have the vocabulary to reject, because he’s not sure what’ll replace it.
Reminds me of me a few years older, in college but trying to figure out where I was going and who I was gonna be.
Jacket works, I think. A mask is something you cannot help but notice that you’re wearing (and never put on without a clear reason), whereas a jacket is just something you put on and promptly forget about.
I’m not so sure it isn’t intentional. As much as any of these masks are intentional anyway.
It’s different, certainly.
It’s there mostly to lower expectations and keep from having to deal with responsibility.
Yup, sadly, Walky has NO confidence that Billie will not do something self destructive tonight… but he has no idea what to do about it. Today’s event has taught him that he was right to listen to his instincts, that Billie does NOT do well… But he has no clue how to help her.
Poor little buddy. I’m so glad he got some alone time with Becky. They need each other.
I read it as Becky suddenly slapping on a mask as she realized Walky was there in panel 2, struggling to get the mask all the way on, and in 5, giving up and letting it fall back off.
She’s definitely too exhausted to wear it (which is no doubt why she’s here and not with Joyce and Dorothy, or Dina right now), but I think she also sensed she didn’t need it with Walky.
Maybe because he’s clearly not wearing his own right now, but I at least hope also because she realized how much of a relief it was to be able to talk to Hank about these things, if only briefly.
Panel 4: And Becky’s mask is 19/20ths off and about to shatter on the floor. I’d say this is just about the edge of what energy she’s got left and has been burning to keep going and try and hide the mass of pain and hurt and traumas she’s been nursing.
And that first line. Part of it is empathetic Becky, not wanting to put anyone out if she can avoid it and thinking of others, but a big part of it might be that this bed no longer feels safe now that she has the idea she has of why it was given to her.
By that I mean, she thinks this was a suicide gift. That Billie gave her her bed, because she was planning to kill herself with Ruth and wanted to have no more possessions or home to return to to make it easier to step away.
And that has to be so unbelievably triggering for her. Because we’ve seen in the flashbacks that Bonnie was a caring sort of mother that Becky formed a strong bond with. So, I worry that that means that Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to try and make things are kind as possible for her daughter, giving her a good day or a good gift, so as to leave on a happier note.
So receiving this type of largesse probably feels like poison on her skin. One of the reasons why Walky came in on her just staring up at it, not climbing on it, not even daring to touch it.
Also, Hank. Damn. You’re solid gold, man. I was really worried for awhile, but it’s damn heartening to see how you’ve grown and how much you’ve really accepted Becky as your third daughter (no, don’t ask, you’ll find out soon, maybe even sooner than you think if you keep on being awesome like this).
Cause she needs things like that. A perch to stand on to be able to reach anything else. To be able to afford the fees to get the rest of her documents, not have to rely on everyone else for food, even a bank account so she has somewhere to put her paychecks when she starts getting them.
And something as small as that can be life-altering and life-saving. Small kindnesses when you’re world is falling apart? They’re everything.
Becky must be getting severe whiplash out of this – the Best and the Worst things keep happening to her in accelerated rate. And she is right there with Walky – they would both give ANYTHING to save Billie, only they don’t know what that anything might be.
“So, I worry that that means that Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to try and make things are kind as possible for her daughter, giving her a good day or a good gift, so as to leave on a happier note.”
Panel 5: Becky is so exhausted in this panel. As Joyce noted a while back, I think she’s ran enough for a bit.
And it is exhausting being in a state like that. Being betrayed by family, being homeless. I got the easy version of all that, narrowly avoiding the latter entirely, but it beats you down real fast, no matter how much strength you thought you had.
And Becky has been running on empty for awhile, bottling up all her pain, not reaching out, being scared to ask for aid, feeling self-conscious about what has been offered already, having to be back in the home that will never accept her, which ceased to be her home the moment she found her mom on the bed.
And that statement of hers, pause before it and all feels to me like what it really feels to be homeless or close to it. When you are relying on the kindness of strangers to limp on a little longer and having to swallow all your pride to beg, because you need to survive.
Cause at least in America, being homeless is treated as a character flaw, as proof that you somehow fucked up your own life and now you’re stealing the hard won capital of others to survive. And so every scrap of charity, every desperate plea, every organized request from friends or supporters. It cuts like knives and makes you feel just utterly worthless like a big sack of garbage. And like every small kindness is something stolen from others.
And it’s what makes political statements by rich assholes about homelessness all the more infuriating, because they fundamentally do not understand just how demoralizing it is to be beaten down low and have to beg for help. How bitter it is to swallow your dignity and self-regard cause you gotta eat.
We’ve already seen her debate her principles to survive in thinking about applying to Chik fil A. But here, it’s just the raw pain of what it means to be homeless.
And it’s not made any easier for her in that she really does feel like she’s “stolen” this bed from Billie. That it was only given to her because of Billie’s desire to kill herself and now folks are acting like it shouldn’t be given immediately back so Billie has a home again and a reason for life.
Her being put out? She’ll take that a million times to keep those she loves safe. She was willing to live under a bridge far away from her gf and her friends and the closest thing to a family she had just to protect them from Toedad. That was her Plan A for escape.
Having others feel a person shouldn’t return to their own room because it may inconvenience her thus feels like almost an insult. Like, but no, I’m not that awful. I don’t ever want to be that awful.
And that’s also likely mixing in with the cultural messages she’s been replaying in her head and which Toedad was probably enough of an asshole to say repeatedly, that she is worthless and a mooch for surviving in the first place (hell, even the initial flock of Becky haters latched on to that one to berate her back in the day).
Panel 6: That… that is an incredibly astute summary of Billie’s major recovery hurdle right now. That not only does she believe that by giving part of herself away she can be happy, she also believes that it’s only the sacrificing of herself that gives her value in the first place.
Ripping herself apart, serving others, cloistering her with one big romantic partner and making it her and them against the world. That was her pattern with her old cheer squad and Alice. It was her pattern with Ruth. It’s the core of how she views her very worth.
If she’s not head cheerleader, alpha percussion instrument, then in her mind, what value could she have to anyone. After all, all she can see are her flaws, the alcoholism, the inability to fully open up about her emotional self, the ease in which she lies to people, the self-destruction.
In her head, that’s all she is. So if she’s gonna get better, if she’s not going to continue to be co-dependent with Ruth or whoever she dates next, if she’s not going to spiral in the absence of her previous normal, she’s gonna need to adapt into seeing her value beyond what she can sacrifice for others and how she can live her life in service to their happiness.
She’s going to need to find something in herself to love. And as someone with shit self-esteem, I’m not going to pretend that’s going to be an either easy or quick task for her.
Panel 7: Damn, I absolutely love all of Becky’s little sub moments, because it so neatly complements Dina’s domly tendencies.
Just shove her around, order her to kiss someone she desperately wants to kiss. These sort of things do it for her and she explores that so much healthier with Dina than Ruth and Billie explored their kinkier moments.
Yup, That’s like 1/3 of what’s messed up with her relationship with Ruth…. and it really says something that a thing like that doesn’t add up to more than that in the sum of their relationship problems.
Oh yes. Dina and Becky REALLY lucked out with each other in so many ways. Becky doesn’t mind at all being dino tackled by her girl friend after a stressful weekend. Not at all…
That was a much more astute observation than I expected out of Walky. Billie thinks her value lies in what she can sacrifice for others. She doesn’t see herself as important unless she’s solving problems or giving something away. That’s why she was so quick to domesticate herself in Ruth’s room. She set Ruth’s agenda, laid out her clothes and fixed her hair. She finds value in her relationships because she’s desperately looking for someone she values to find value in her. Even though she starts dating Ruth because she thinks they’re both “broken” and “poisonous”, she still doesn’t think Ruth could love her just for herself. She has to be constantly proving her worthiness to her. She think’s Ruth is the only person on campus who is “broken” enough to want her but she STILL doesn’t think she’s good enough for Ruth.
*Which is not a headspace I’m unfamiliar with. Spent a far amount of time trying to be a perfect partner because I presumed that naturally, my value to other people would be negative and so I had to “make that up”. And I’m only just now realizing that that meant swallowing a lot of abuse and thinking I deserved it (turns out when society says people like you are inherently harmful to their partners, it gets real easy to internalize, especially when you have a partner slowly escalating abusive behaviors due to stress and gaslighting you the whole time).
A similar sort of headspace for Billie would explain why she was so quick to forgive Ruth’s initial abuse, how she tried to structure the relationship and why she kept on trying to stop attending classes to wait on Ruth 24/7, and why she assumes she’s ruined everyone’s life by not being perfect enough and why she assumes she’s inherently toxic.
And yeah, that last line. She really doesn’t view herself as good enough for anyone. And you look at what is implied about her parents, where she might as well have been a ghost, as well as how much she feels she fell from grace of being “the savior of girls going through fucked up situations” as Head Cheerleader and it makes sense why she assumes that she’s of no value.
She was the most popular girl and did important duties and still her parents couldn’t bother to feign interest in whether she lived or died. And for all her efforts, it still went all pear-shaped and she lost Alice and her license and her cheerleading gig and all her chance to feel like she was helping.
She’s needed self-esteem for awhile and I’m hoping that her therapist can help her.
@Panel 7
WHAT!? What what what!? I hadn’t gotten that out of Becky. But maybe.
But I said it then, and I’ll say it now: There was one moment, I think, where they really had their kinkiness be bad. That was when Billie had that shitty day and needed comfort and Ruth’s immediate reaction was to feign irritation (which she was having trouble doing, for any of at least 3 easy reasons). Ruth realized quickly that what she needed was outside their standard play, and while I don’t think Billie was really hurt by that, A: I could be wrong, and B: Not screwing up today isn’t a guarantee of not screwing up tommorrow, yeah?
Every interaction we’ve seen besides that, within the confines of their kinkiness, has been pretty great. (go leafs). Hell, “Go Leafs” was sucha n incredible validation for Billie, I suspect. At least in the short term. That miiight have hurt in the long term, granted.
THis isn’t to say their overdrinking is fine or that everything is perfect. But on the narrow topic of the dom/sub stuff? Yeah, they’ve caused so little harm that I honestly think it’s unfair, given their complete disconnect from any community (Not even, apparently, reading tips).
Though if your read of Becky is right, I suspect she’s pretty happy with really tame stuff, and I can’t see how there’d be any harm in how things have gone, so it’s still /healthier/, just… more the difference between, idk, a really good diet and a good diet. AGain, one narrow aspect. Overall, holy jeezy petes, those two are way healthier in their relationship than Billie and Ruth.
I like Billie and Ruth /way the hell better/, but that’s /because/ they’re not doing everything basically right.
Being involved in local theatre, I’ve seen firsthand many examples of how draining playing a character can be. Like the friend who played the lead in her high school production of Mary Poppins, who broke down in tears after their last show. Three hours of acting takes a toll, mentally.
And Becky’s been doing this ALL DAY. Sure, she’s had a few very brief moments when she let it slip, just for a minute, but that’s hardly intermission enough for this. I can’t imagine how exhausted she must be right now, and I’m really glad she’s found the support network in that dorm. Can’t believe I’m saying it, but she really needs someone like Walky around to keep her sane.
Billie seems to be a study in contradictions: She was a bully at school and yet Walky, who was one of her victims, says that the real Billie is generous almost to the point where she causes herself difficulty to help others. I’m wondering which of these is the role and I bet that it is the former.
Is it her parents who told her that she needed to push other people around? Or is it just the media with its stereotypes of success through violence and domination? However, the real Billie is the person who is willing to give away her living space to someone in need. My worry is that, as Becky pointed out a few strips back, it makes it easy for her to neatly and tidily give away everything prior to crawling into a hole and dying. What Billie needs now is for someone, preferably Becky but Walky may be able to manage it in a pinch, to tell her that she isn’t worthless; all she needs to do is drop the alpha act.
Well, we know her dad was the type of person to harangue the mayor to throw out all the homeless people out of the city, so she probably learned a fair few bully attitudes from him.
Not necessarily taught her ‘bullying’ but certainly taught her that the successful do so by the domination of the weak, to the point where it genuinely doesn’t occur to her that there is anything wrong in doing this (which is why Alice’s denunciation so knocked her into a death spiral – her entire world-view had just collapsed around her).
Not necessarily saying it’s that way with Billie, but it’s pretty common and easy to compartmentalize, divide the world into those worthy of help and those not. Be a great support and help to your cheerleading squad and bully the nerds.
Soooo… even though I never read it as a kid I understand the the giving tree as a pretty damn disturbing story. As in even worse than the controversy the ‘rainbow fish’ causes for some folks (and it’s understandable because holy crap guys wtf kind of moral is that to rip off pieces of yourself to give away to make people like you).
As another note Walky and Becky do have some similarities- they like toilet humour and liking making Joyce make ‘faces’- and they also cover up their more complicated emotions with wackiness. Maybe a friendship can help them with that?
Wow, people are quick to trash on Becky for accepting Hank’s help, but here’s the thing…
1. She has no clue how finances work. Yes, opening a bank account is easy, but depending on the state she could probably not open a bank account on her own, since she is 18. A lot of banks will not give an 18 year old their own account without parents signatures. Besides, seeing as she’s homeless, having an account for direct deposit is safer for her when she gets her eventual job.
2. there’s a difference between saying “i dont want charity” and taking it and accepting help/charity but resolving to get to a place in life where you don’t need it. That’s what is going on here.
3. People are saying “she needs to apply for this, this and this…” Keep in mind, she’s 18. I’m pretty sure the thought hasn’t crossed her mind. She was ridiculously sheltered by her dad, so odds are she’s not even aware she can apply for food stamps and it’s only been an extremely short time since she ran away, got held at gunpoint and gone to the Brown’s. Most of it probably hasn’t entirely sunk in yet.
I have utmost faith that Becky will be ok in the long run, but people need to stop trashing the poor girl. I mean, it’s not like any of us knew everything at 18.
People are trashing her? That’s terrible! Setting things up with someone with good credit really helps counter-act how practically cut-throat interest payments and the like are these days for those without established credit.
Also makes it really easy to transfer funds in case of “oh crap I need $100 or my power’s getting shut off” rather than waiting 3 business days (freaking Wednesday…).
Unrelated to today’s comic, I’ve heard a lot of people say that statistically, most people are bi. Does anyone have a link to the survey or whatever it is that indicates that?
The idea is more that not everyone falls into stringent labels of Straight and Gay, and that varying degrees of attraction can exist even in people who don’t exclusively identify as bisexual.
I think this comic sort of sums up the most common school of thought. Some people are pure straight, some people are pure homosexual, then the majority are probably somewhere in-between.
I know that, but I’ve frequently heard people state that most people fall close to the middle as if it was proven, so I was wondering if there’s any proof of that.
The data I’ve seen suggests the curve is strongly skewed to the heterosexual end – though that may still mean that there are more people in the 1-5 range, than at 0. More completely straight than anywhere else on the scale and more bisexuals who are mostly attracted to the opposite sex than the other way around.
OTOH, there are strong social pressure against bisexuality and given that it would be easy for many people to think even to themselves they were purely straight (or purely gay?), I’m not 100% convinced it’s that simple. It would be interesting to see if the curve changes over time as attitudes change – or varies in different countries or populations.
There’s also some evidence it differs with gender.
Statistically most people are straight, then we have bisexuals, then gay and finally transgender people.
People saying that majority of us are bi is of course false, if that was true then most of people living in safe civilised societies without pressure of someone killing or raping them just for being gay/bi would act on that more often and we don’t see that.
Where are these civilised societies and can we move there?
More seriously, as Cerberus hints at below, at lot depends on who you count as bi. If it includes everything from 1 to 5 on the Kinsey scale: basically everyone who’s every had any attraction to people of their non-preferred gender, then that’s a lot of bi people. But many of them are still overwhelmingly attracted to their preferred gender – for all practical purposes they’re straight. They may or may not even acknowledge the attraction to themselves. The same to lesser extent on the homosexual end of the scale – if you’re 95% attracted to the same gender.
I’m all for fighting bi erasure, but I still think there’s a real difference between someone who once had a crush and someone who’s more balanced.
One article I looked at while trying to find numbers for the curve suggested a fairly obvious reason for why so many bisexuals seem to wind up mostly with opposite gender partners – there are simply more candidates. Even if one bisexual really is equally attracted to all genders, more people are either strictly straight or predominately straight, so the pool of people who might return their interest is slanted towards the other gender.
Which can’t access the original study they are referencing here, but it feels like the article is overstating what the study found since the quote inside said something along the lines of a third identifying as some flavor of pan/bi/etc…
What the real number is is hard to tell, because bisexuality is heavily stigmatized and there’s a cultural emphasis to focus on different gender attractions and dismiss same gender attractions as either not real, a phase, not really counting, an exception, or something every “straight person” deals with.
From casual conversations, I’ve met way too many “straight” people who nonetheless had a “gay exception” rule for a handsome or pretty celebrity of their gender, referenced an experience in their youth that they “grew out of”, or conversed like hey, every “straight person” has their eye wander from time to time, really, why do we even need to state straight or queer, man.
And sadly, I’ve seen these arguments resonate with people enough to justify queer folks who come out. My ex’s mom dismissed her coming out as bi with “we all have a fling when we’re in college, I did, but you learn to grow out of that”. And one of the more common anti-gay arguments, the one that gay people choose to be gay only makes sense if there’s a significant number of folks who really did feel like they made a choice between their straightness and acknowledging and acting upon same gender attractions.
I suspect as bi/pan/queer sexualities continue to be less stigmatized, we’ll get a better look at what the actual numbers would be. Given that we are close relatives to bonobos, a particularly high percentage of the population being somewhere in the bi/pan lands, would not be wholly unexpected.
Seems to me that it’d be relatively easy to make relatively objective measurements. Just tack on some scanning devices to see the amount of activity in parts of the brain correlated to sexual attraction in your test subjects, then show them a large number of photos/expose the test subjects to each other, and use that to get an estimate on where on the Kinsey scale they land.
There is the write up from the think tank that did the survey. I have concerns about the survey as well as the write up. The survey only included 600 people and there is no indication of how those respondents were chosen and if the sample was properly randomized. Many of the questions were ambiguous enough to not offer a clear conclusion based on the responses.
The portion of the survey relevant to this discussion only has 503 respondents. It does not seem to make a clear distinction between what each number on the Kinsey scale represents beyond 0= completely heterosexual, 6= completely homosexual and 3= completely bisexual. Combined with your observation that there is social stigma attached to those answers, those numbers don’t mean much.
I would love to see a better structured survey on variation in sexuality because this one wasn’t worth a whole lot.
I had never read nor heard of The Giving Tree (not living in the Anglosphere (is that a thing? I’ve decided it’s a thing)), so I googled it up and… holy shit, that story is fucked up!
As a dad, I understand Hank’s frame of mind that morning in church to be in flux. At the beginning, he wants to help Becky and thinks the cost of doing that will be a few arguments with Carol. Then he sees things play out; the horrible treatment of both his daughter and her best friend who may as well be his daughter. And he begins to understand the scene from another angle. By the time he finds Joyce sitting in the foyer with her wrist brace off, crying, and he has seen the brave face Becky is putting on, he’s ready to pay a much higher price to set it right.
So what is Walky doing here? Being Billie’s messenger boy? He’s certainly not gotten the messages correct between 1 & 3: “You can sleep here tonight” but she’s coming back tonight?
“the giving tree … if giving was being shoved into lockers.”
As Cerebus points out, Becky has a submissive streak and would like to have been shoved into a locker. The effect on Walky has been what?
I wonder if Walky has explained to Dotty what he’s doing? That’s if he understands himself.
On a positive note, go Hank! Becky needs that bank account to survive.
In panel 3, he’s the ”tonight” he’s referring to is when Billie said Becky could use her bed, as in, ”she only mentioned tonight, nothing about what happens after that, one way our the other”. Its grammatically ambiguous, but since Billie couldn’t both lend Becky her bed AND sleep in it, I’m pretty sure that’s not what he meant.
I mean, I get that you don’t like Walky, and that’s fine, but on this one it really feels like you’re going out of your way to find things to dislike. Its totally ok to dislike somebody even if they occasionally do non-horrible or even nice things.
Still, doesn’t answer the deeper question of “why” he’s doing what he’s doing. It may be friendship but I can’t help thinking it’s something more. A relationship based on abuse can’t be healthy.
Or where Dotty fits in all of this. I wonder how he’ll present it to her? Throw her a bone, perhaps?
Its hardly based on abuse. There certainly was some, but my own older brother did a lot worse than that to me (some of which I had coming, I was no angel myself) when we were kids, but we never stopped being family because of it. Even back when we would regularly get into fights (usually more shoving and wedgies than actual punches) we also – voluntarily – would hang out and have fun together. We grew out of that as we got older, and as adults we now get along great.
So Billie and Walky’s relationship feels very familiar to me
Maybe what I don’t like in Walky is what I don’t like in myself, or versions of my previous selfs that I’ve witnessed.
I don’t like it when Walky – or many commenters urge him on – plays the buffoon in order to “lighten” the depressed. When I see comments like that, I tend to think, the logical extension to that shall we get Coco the Clown in as the therapist shall we?
My depression responds more to “light physical contact” and practical (non-humorous) suggestions. (A friend of mine got me out of a pickle by saying that I should make a plan, keep myself occupied. It helped.)
For me, Walky is emerging as a more interesting character than just a high-school nerd (that’s how I believe Americans would phrase it) gone wrong, who’s suddenly finding empathy. Is Walky Billies friend or her sub? That’s where I think the last panel leaves us with ambiguity.
I wonder what drama will ensue when the dreaded day arrives and he’s told to sling his hook from Uni?
I’d argue that his clowning antics are more likely to work with people who are not all the way depressed. Making someone laugh can get them out of a funk.
But if they’re at the point when they won’t laugh then it can often make you feel worse.
As for why Walky’s there? Because he was the last one to talk to Billie, and she told him to let Becky know.
As for their relationship? They were best friends and basically siblings for years. But when Billie became a cheerleader, she pretended not to like him. She might hang out with him in private, but, in public, she had to avoid the “nerd.” Yes, maybe Walky actually enjoyed that relationship to a degree. But I don’t think we’ve got full out sexual attraction going on.
It’s just really unusual to think of someone who was like a sister to you in that way.
You are correct, I found it a bit confusing, but that makes a lot of sense.
I also agree that while Walky can be forgiven for his fuck-ups, that doesn’t mean he didn’t fuck up. Even if he ended up cheering Billie up a little or at least distracting her, the jokes he started with absolutely are not the kind of thing anyone should try in real life. It’s the kind of thing that, if it ever works, it still wouldn’t work if you were doing it on purpose. Even if you’re just talking about someone who is merely sad, not depressed, you better be really damn sure before doing that kind of thing. There are just so many better ways you can try to inject humor into a situation that don’t have such a high risk of backfiring horribly.
Hopefully, Walky will continue to realize these things as I did, and grow as a character to find new, different ways to fuck up.
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and Becky’s the old person just looking for a place to sit, but that place should be a face =D
[/BANNED]
Definitly [BANNED].
hey don’t start a BANNED
They’re trying to get the BANNED back together.
Hehehe…I don’t get it.
see banned means to be banished from somewhere
A band is a group of people who play music together.
Such as U2, rolling stones etc…
“Getting the band back together” is a phrase popularized in the 1980 film Blues Brothers staring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.
Banned and band sound the same.
It was a humor joke, of mirth.
Any second now that facial expression will change, and you’ll know the joke got through.
They say so directly because they will be using sarcasm, which unfortunately, is a much more challenging level of verbal interaction.
No, no! Sarcasm comes naturally to some of us.
I think I messed up my reference…
Maybe they need some BANNED aid?
*plays Wings’ “Band on the Run” on the hacked Muzak*
*followed by The Time’s “Oak Tree”*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSrWnEUjFNY <- I'm pretty sure everybody's heard the Wings song, but they don't play THIS on "goodtime oldies" stations!
*Jay & Silent Bob run in*
Jay: “Before anyone says anything, let me remind you: Never say an unkind word about The Time!” (NSFW)
Love [BANNED] it!
Some people call me the gangster of Love.
Sorry, but I’m just gonna call you Maurice
Ewww, gross. Becky and Dina are too good together and cheating is something only the worst humans do
Not all nonmonogamy is cheating, y’know…
But I think maybe Becky needs some more time before she decides to be even less normative.
(I myself am happily polyamorous and have been for years now).
+1
Shouldn’t that be +2???
+n where n is a number ranging from a minimum of 2 and a maximum that is a subset of the number of individuals that are in your sphere of intimates that is no less than 2
You can be poly and not be dating anyone (just like you can be monogamous and not be dating anyone!) It’s kinda like an ‘orientation’ in that sense.
polyamory fistbump from a person with two girlfriends!
And here’s another post for poly solidarity! ;w; (Only in my case, it’s two boyfriends.)
Sorry, right, I have a Poly friend, but Dina’s characterization wouldn’t “allow” for that imo
I’m… not sure where I suggested it couldn’t be Dina’s face?
(though when they’re ready to take that step!!!)
next slipshine is Dina’s pov, but its just several panels of navy blue, with the occasional side of a pocket.
Or just the back of a door.
Cheating is breaking the rules. I don’t imagine Dina or Becky are very interested in making up any hard and fast rules for their relationship. But what they will almost certainly do is communicate their intentions and desires earnestly and respectfully.
I imagine, in the worst case, Becky will bang other people, Dina will find she doesn’t like Becky doing that and then they will make it a rule. They both have a lot to learn about themselves, each other and the world, and they’re both aware of that.
Considering how worried Dina was that being around Joyce would cause Becky to lose interest, I think her reaction to Becky sleeping with someone else would be a bit worse than ”not liking it”. She would be really hurt by it.
Since they’re already at the point of referring to the other as ”my girlfriend”, I’d say their relationship is serious enough that some sort of rules should be assumed. Not having established that it isn’t okay to get physically and/or romantically intimate with other people doesn’t mean she could do something like that with being a huge jerk.
If you really want to be respectful and honest, certain rules gotta be established before you do something that could hurt your partner if they don’t expect the same things. Dorothy handled that really well (especially for a teenager, who usually aren’t so reasonable) when she told Walky up front that she didn’t want a serious or long-term relationship.
Monogamy is also not something that should be assumed, though. Everybody ought to make sure to establish at the very basic rules early on. Finding love involves enough drama and angst without adding more of it that can be avoided easily by talking to your significant other(s) before you start smushing your bits together
What constitutes cheating kind of depends on the nature of the relationship.
Now I’m wondering if Dina’s thought about it.
Dina has probably researched it.
With cross references to how the dinosaurs did it.
kinky
unless this is just a euphemism for a bj
[/alsobanned]
The Giving Tree DIDN’T shove you into lockers?!
My childhood was a lie
that was the Shoving Tree
Better than the shivving tree.
Nah . the shivving tree shived your enemies
Yeah, but the cops didn’t believe it was the tree, and the protagonist went to jail…
…that didn’t end nearly as well.
Yeah, but at least they took a stab at it.
the shivving tree put me in the hospital for like a week fuck that guy
The shivving tree showed me how to make a shiv from an old toothbrush. he’s pretty OK in my book.
Lesser known cousin of the Whomping Willow.
Distant cousin to Grab Grass and the Tangle Tree.
No, no–it was the Pushing Tree did the shoving. The Shoving Tree did the pushing. They were both there to protect you from the Terrible Secret of Wood.
haha Albino Blackforest
I mean the Laziest Trees on Mars
wait a sec…I think I’ve figured out Sauramon’s origins!
For about half a second my brain tried to figure out what Digimon you were talking about.
“Sarumon” would be an evil monkey wizard…
Evil JAMAICAN monkey wizard.
Whomping Willow?
You need a Harry Potter reference explained? (When I just typed “Harry,” the iPhone actually suggested “Potter” as the next word desired!)
wood!
But the lockers would have all, mysteriously, exploded.
A bunch of scientists in rad haircuts stand around all like “We have no idea what happend. Durrrr….”
…aaand a new ship sails.
A FRIEND SHIP, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:[
Don’t you dare threaten my Bina. This ship has canons!
Cannons that fires nuclear cannonballs, I presume?
I think you mean Beckysaur
Dinasaurus Becks.
Oops.
I think you mean Dinasaurus Becks.
Terrible Lizbians.
canon pun ftw
Thank you for seeing what I did there <3
that raises so many more questions than it answers beckster
She’s a sub. Which should work out well considering Dina is a total dom.
I forgot that!
The only one to have ever beaten Mike.
Though Amber did pretty well with blackmail.
where is this cannon?????
Mounted on the sub.
Doesn’t really work so well under water, but then nobody listens to me…
“YOU WILL KISS ME!”
Currently the perfect gravatar for that.
to answer seriously, In It’s Walky Dina and Mike were an item. Dina kept him pleasantly lubricated with alcohol for a long period because Mike is a nicer drunk than a when he’s sober, and tied him up a few times, IIRC.
…Billie gives Walky wood?
Not just any wood, Mahogany.
From the trees of Malchior 7!
Where they spit fire! …Also it’s high quality wood. Very comfortable.
Forged 2000 years ago using ancient blood rituals of the Malchior people. Not only does this make the wood nigh indestructible but it can also bend the fabric of the universe itself!
6th panel
Walky, you may want to rephrase that.
What Van Gogh wrong with giving pieces of oneself to another?
And here’s a new yay for Mr Brown !
It’s like after Freshmen Family Weekend Hank decided to become Best Parent of All Willis Universes.
its not very difficult
Are you forgetting Dina’s parents?
Or Carla’s?
or Dorothy’s?
We’ve only seen one interaction with them (in which they were off screen), for all we know they could still be pieces of shit in some other regard.
The thing about Hank is that he’s showing growth, people like that. He still has his flaws sure, who doesn’t, but the fact that he can look past his religion (which is a big deal for people as religious as the Browns, it’s their immortal soul after all) while we have 2 examples of what it would look like if he was either a worse or MUCH worse person.
That said though, what we’ve seen of Dina’s parents is cool beans and I hope that they stay the cool beans comic relief foil to all the other shitty parents in the series.
Technically we also met Dina’s parents during the freshmen family weekend, where they flubbed up pretty bad but immediately apologized. Yeah the story just doesn’t linger so much on good parents who cause no trouble to their kids, so I take that as pretty strong proof that dina’s parents = good.
Hank may be less looking past his religion as actually practicing it. Which is always a pleasant surprise.
I know! I was worried about fully trusting him, but he just keeps on raising his own bar and it’s so beautiful it keeps breaking my heart in all the best ways.
Becky likes it rough?
The hair-eye thing still freaks me out.
Seems that way. Explains why she likes dina biting her. Prolly a potential masochistic fetish? Dunno ,but the other thing i wonder is if the dina/ becky relationship will last
Possibly, or it could just be that Billie’s hot enough that she’d have started liking it rough as a result of it.
I understand the transparent eye idea, though I respectfully disagree with it. However I can’t honestly tolerate this time around as it’s almost on the side of horrifying.
y’are y’are…
So she doesn’t want to rely on stuff people give her and yet she’ll take Mr. Brown’s money?!? Contradictory much?
Mr. Brown probably was included in the category somewhere between “Not my actual dad but close enough” and “Dad of cute almost-girlfriend best friend Joyce”, so he’s an acceptable casualty.
Plus, with joint bank accounts, she’s not really taking Mr. Brown’s money: it’s mostly so she can give it out in job interviews so they will hire her (because some people won’t hire people who don’t have bank accounts, and it’s extremely difficult for people with no credit score to open bank accounts).
Is it? I mean, I am one of them damn dirty fur’ners, and I managed to easily open up personal, non-joint accounts at both a credit union and a bank shortly after moving to USA, and before getting a job. Didn’t even have to bring a marriage certificate or anything.
Then again, from what I have learned, this is one of those things that can vary heavily from state to state, so I should not be too bombastic in my statements, right?
SCRATCH THAT COMMENT!
As in, the reason I had it easy was probably because I was not homeless. -THAT- makes it a whole different game.
I have actually opened bank accounts while homeless. Like, more than one.
That sounds like quite a story
I readily believe that. I do not believe it was easy to do unless you made false statements.
We have IDs, which makes a difference. Becky doesn’t have any.
This. Plus, not wanting to rely on the charity of others doesn’t mean she won’t still need to rely on the charity of others in some respects. She’s gonna need money to put together the last of her documents. To rent an apartment. To get a job and not have to rely on scammy check cashing places. To do a lot of things.
And it’s also a sentiment that is common when you’re homeless. Or near to it. And have to beg others for the sustenance to survive and rely on their charity. You start feeling like an imposition on everyone who helps and like you’re not worth their kindness. And like you’re hurting them by taking what is freely given.
Doesn’t change one’s need to eat, but I can recognize that state of holding on by one’s teeth and wanting to be self-sufficient.
The impression I got from this is not quite so much as the financial support, as it is helping with the fact that it’s really hard to open a bank account when you are homeless. Bank accounts are helpful for jobs, finding places to live, etc etc. Depending how involved Carol is in the family finances, Hank may not even be able to support Becky with actual money more than a little bit here and there.
This is how I read it as well. Even if he’d offered to put some money in it, if only a hundred bucks for food and such while she looks for work, I don’t know that she have accepted it. She’s had the mindset drilled into her where accepting even small amounts from charity from people who care about you (and you’d do the same for in a heartbeat) is a horrible shameful thing, even when you could seriously use the help, if only to give you some breathing room.
That attitude and the people who sell it piss me the hell off.
Yup, especially on the mindset thing. That culture drums it in your head that no one is more vile and worthless than a person who has to beg for their survival. It is a sign of a sinner and someone who must have purposefully destroyed their life.
Even growing up adjacent to that culture, I still have a lot of issues about accepting charity for myself because of how ingrained those messages became.
which is sad because of the so strong Biblical mandate to help and love those down on their luck.
See the thing is, unlike many who claim to live by the bible, Hank actually read those parts.
I have the same issue, compounded by the feeling that any help I receive will give that someone some measure of control over me. For reasons, that’s something I avoid like the plague.
Since Walky is in this strip, I think it’s only appropriate to mention that this attitude is also a MAJOR reason why he has not turned to anyone for helping him with his studies; because he subconsciously thinks of that as accepting charity.
And while this is speculation, I’m pretty sure that more than once when visiting Billie, he’s overheard Billie’s father —you know, the person that moves poor people to other cities— talk about people that need help as some sort of parasites and losers. And yeah, he might have been specifically talking about money, but it’s oh-so-easy to make it seep into other areas as well.
And none of us like to think of ourselves as losers. So it is only natural that we seek to avoid doing things that will make us feel like we are (or make other people think we are). Natural, and often so very, very toxic.
Just one more reason why this attitude should piss us all the hell off.
+1
She’s not taking his money; she’s just using his credit to open an account. It will only cost him anything if she overdrafts or defaults or otherwise incurs fees–then he’ll be on the hook for those if she can’t pay them.
Yes, that is exactly what she’s saying.
“I don’t have to take help from Billie much longer because soon I will take help from Hank instead…… I HATE being this dependent.”
That’s how I took it too.
Same as her comment about finding herself a job when Dina wanted to treat her to a fancy dinner. She hates feeling worthless and dependent and like she’s imposing on her friends. And I imagine she’ll be even less keen to be dependent on others once she realizes that Joyce has been skipping meals to feed her.
Speaking of which, can Becky start the process of getting foodstamps, please? I don’t know about Indiana, but she would totally qualify around here.
I dunno. I don’t know about how Indiana works, but I know from back when I was on them in my state, that it seemed I needed a residence so they could keep track of what county was in charge of distributing that aid. So not having a permanent residence might hurt her on that account, but maybe Jocelyne will offer to let her list her place as Becky’s permanent residence so she can get access.
There really should be a foodstamp system for people who are homeless but not staying in a shelter, it’s gotta come up a lot, I’m curious now.
Also, he’s an adult. He has far more to give than most of these college students.
One can be grateful for help, even charity, while not wanting to continually being in a position of having to rely on it. Gratitude, realism and pride are not mutually exclusive.
Contradictory how? Are you suggesting people never do stuff they have to if they don’t actually want to do it? That literally happens all the time.
Sure, Becky would have figured out her sexuality sooner, but she also would have developed a locker fetish.
Claustrophobics wouldn’t like her at all for that.
Dinosaurs and lockers don’t mix.
Her relationship with Dina would be ruined. Dina would want the locker door open so she can stand behind it, but Becky wants it closed while she’s inside.
Total incompatibility.
i hate this comment chain for making me try to think of ways to combine hypothetical dinosaur and locker fetishes
A problem I *really* thought I’d never have…
Inside the locker is technically behind it.
They’re both petit, I’m sure they could make it work.
*reads alt text*
With splinters!
*dodges two-by-fours*
Wait, Billie shoved Walky into lockers just like bullies do? I guess you don’t count childhood memories when it comes to having a reputation in highschool.
Walky’s heavily implied that Billie used to bully him including shoving him into lockers.
Becky’s got some interesting kinks, apparently.
Fundies are some of the most sexually perverse people out there.
Alright, so bets on what’s gonna happen when Sal gets filled in on the whole Ruth/Billie thing?
Sal knows, Carla announced it to the whole hall, including right in front of Sal in Sal/Billie’s room. Sal doesn’t seem likely to care very much whether two people are kissing though.
More like the whole lesbian suicide pact, really.
Oh, I see. My bet is still that Sal kinda shrugs it off, like, it’s kinda bonkers but not her concern. (Sarah wishes she could be that detached!) I am not all that good at predicting, though.
I think she is almost as worried about Billie as Walky, but has even less of a clue what to do about it, so she took to the window as soon as the FEELs started.
I know that haircut is supposed to be funky (from Becky’s perspective, nit Willis’) but it makes her look like a puppy someone has kicked once too often.
Doesn’t that describe her, anyway? I mean, she’s not a puppy, but she has been “kicked” once too often.
She’s not literally a puppy, but figuratively… yeah, she’s a bit of a puppy.
Maybe she can be friends with Dorothy-puppy.
How convenient! That means it’s thematically appropriate!
That’s what I was thinking. Even if that was the case, that really works for her.
And it’s not supposed to look funky, it’s an undercut. It’s pretty much 20-something alternative and seen in a lot of young queer women and genderqueer folks these days.
It is a badass look, after all.
And on a real person, it wouldn’t always fall in such a thick, uniform sheet that you wouldn’t usually be able to see some of their face through it. It’s just that given the art style, including enough detail to see where it would separates to make her eye visible would clutter everything up, and trying to make the hair over her face look transparent would just look strange.
I accidentally gave myself the same haircut the other day, more or less – if anybody wants to see what it’d roughly look like IRL, I can link you!
(accidentally: I was not thinking of Becky when I did it, not that I’m super bad at hair)
I would. If only to see Becky’s haircut on a real person, to see if I’m imagining it wrong.
Just google “undercut”. 37 million people must be rocking one around the globe at the moment. Of course, there are many variations, so you might want to search for baby dyke undercut. Or you might not.
I rocked Becky’s hairstyle between ages 13 to 16. From ages 33 to 36, I rocked another couple undercuts, high and tight and one with a tight fade and a pompadour. The biggest challenge is keeping all of the hair from flopping over the part and looking all raggedy. Otherwise it’s a great style: it looks good and it’s easy to manage.
A Public Service Message Brought to You by Undercuts!
Wait, there’s an amount of puppy kicking that isn’t too often?
One kick of a puppy that’s known for biting and going for the small child is called for. It sucks when it has to happen, but a kicked puppy is better than a stitched kid.
It’s a case-by-case kinda thing.
Bagge: “Just say ‘Hi’ Hank, how hard could it be?”
Hank: “Of course, Becky, you are always welcome.”
Bagge: “Come ON, Hank, Carol is your wife. Say something.”
Hank: “The asked me if they could use the car this morning”
Bagge: “Mayyyybee not leaving Becky alone with Carol in church?”
Hank: “Let’s get you back to Bloomington”
Bagge: “After all this you could at least show Becky some emotional support”
Hank: “Your mother would be proud of what you have become”
Bagge: “…or give her some cash or buy her some food or something”
Becky: “Mr Brown said he’d open a joint bank account with me.”
OK I GET IT, Hank. The Daddy of the year mug is in the mail. They had to bring an extra truck for it.
Seriously, this is SO AWESOME!!!!
And everybody who I argued against about Hank neglecting Becky a few days ago – you were right, I was wrong. Hank DIDN’T leave without helping Becky. Daddy of the year indeed.
And considering how long it’ll take for a year to pass comic-time, he’ll forever be DotY for most readers.
Consider the competition…
SIERRA’s DAD…. tried to stop Blaine that one time.
DOROTHY’S DAD…. is nice and friendly
SAL’s DAD…. acknowledged her existence.
DINA’s DAD… stands around with an empty expression.
The layout for worst Dad seems more competitive.
I wonder which one Glasso would compete in.
“Yes, I am a ‘Dad,’ that puts me in the… male gender group?”
“Yes, but are you any good at it?”
“I have a child. I believe it is a she…”
“I’m just gonna mark you down as ‘Present.'”
*Scratches head.* :Are you a boy or a girl?”
“…and “Possible Pokémon Professor.”
Or brain-damaged Saiyan.
Nobody cares about Kakarot.
Ask Vegeta how much he doesn’t care about Kakarot.
You were right to be skeptical. When Hank invited Becky along, he had been blindsided. He didn’t expect her to ask and wasn’t sure how to respond. When he lied about the car, he told them that he did it because he didn’t want to lose an argument. The other acts of support were more about Joyce than Becky. Frankly, we hadn’t seen him do anything truly significant for Becky before he took them to the clinic. Offering meaningful material support was going to be a lot harder and there was a reasonable chance that he was going to waffle when it counted.
I was hopeful because the way he spoke to Joyce suggested that he was proud of her ability to push back against a community and a family when she believed that they were wrong and he wished that he shared her strength.
And you were RIGHT to be hopeful!!!
In hindsight, I think Hank made his decision to step in as the parent Becky needed HERE
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/indebted/
Or maybe as early as HERE
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/monsters-2/
We just didn’t see him act fully on it until now – just like you predicted.
GO HANK!!!
Isn’t it just horrible to have made so many complaints about Hank over time only to see him address pretty much each and every one of them? :p
I know right…. oh so horrible…
I forgot one!
Bagge: ToeDad hunted them WITH A GUN!!!! Please at least distance yourself from THAT.
Hank: Damn right he was an asshole. Good that you punched him, Joyce.
He’s a parent, not a person. Giving you stuff is what parents are for.
Exactly! And doing this is him once and for all taking on the role as a parent for Becky. Not just to help out Joyce but to help out Becky.
Good on you, Hank, good on you.
Parents are people too.
That’s… that’s adorable!
Really, I am apparently a walking wallet.
I once said as much (jokingly) and my mother [i]never[/i] let me live it down.
… dang brackets.
Weird usually the hot cheerleader girls would have the jocks shove people into loc kersey rather than do it themselves…Also I’m getting the impression that Billie wasn’t the best friend ever growing up.
He general build to me seems to indicate she was the, tosser? Catcher? I don’t know these terms, ok? She looks strong enough, anyways. Plus any job worth doing…
Yeah, Billie is physically mighty.
“Aggressor” works.
Though Walky probably earned some of them, so ‘aggressor’ might not always be objectively accurate.
High school: Where the smartass meats the bulliie
um…. I meant to say “meet”. Now it sounds like a rather horrible innuendo.
I assume Orion actually meant the cheerleading thing where she throws other cheerleaders in the air as part of the performance.
Oh, that’s base and flyer. Same as acrobatics.
Thank you.
A joint bank account doesn’t mean he’s just giving her money. It’s more likely she can’t open a bank account for some reason or maybe she doesn’t know how to manage her own so he’s helping her figure it out while she gets a job and place to live. Also it may make it easier to find an apartment or something. I don’t know much about them to be honest. Point is it’s probably not about handouts
I don’t get it – why WOULDN’T he give her some money?
“I don’t want to have to take stuff from people in order to survive no more”
I doubt she’d have accepted it. Though, I wouldn’t put him past him to sneak in a hundred bucks or so anyway.
“Okay, Becky, but I have to but some money into the account in order to open one.”
Seriously. Principles are one thing, but you also gotta eat. And it’s real hard to survive on principles alone if you’re trying to survive. Had to learn that lesson the hard way.
I absolutely think he gave her some money, but I think the bank account is the more important part of the gesture. Enough for food for the next few days, but probably not enough for the first couple months down on an apartment. As for why – Carol. If she’s completely uninvolved in finances beyond spending (’cause math isn’t for ladies), then he could put in a lot (and likely would, given what we have seen) without dealing with the blowup at home, but if Carol is paying attention, then there could be issues. He has been siding with the kids over his wife this storyline, so going behind her back with a large chunk of cash is not out of the question, but there may be consequences.
Now, if Willis is going down the autobiographical road of some of the more …interesting…financial details of his own parents’ divorce, then Carol finding out may not matter. Carol and Hank playing charity one-upsmanship where Carol donates more ridiculous things to the church? That could get exciting.
It’s more likely she can’t open a bank account for some reason
That reason being that the only ID she has is her SSN (…er…they did find that, right?).
Yeah I don’t know if a bank would open account for Becky alone.
Hi! I’m jobless, penniless, and technically homeless, but I want to open an account! Oh, did I mention that my father brought a rifle to a college with the intent to shoot anyone in his way?
Yeah… uh, we’re closed right now… *Scoot scoot scoot*
Yeah alt-text, we get that Billie is a hot half-Asian with endless curves…
What with the outfits that leave very little to the imagination.
Where was I going with this?
Somewhere you can be safe and warm forever?
Your bunk?
And another reference I screwed up in delivery.
I don’t know that I’d describe her curves as endless. I don’t want to body-shame anyone, but I just don’t find non-euclidean geometry to be attractive
Some people need to expand their horizons.
“From nothing, I have created a strange new universe.” — János Bolyai
BTW, what do you do with the farts once you capture them? Are there fart trainers?
I keep them well guarded and secure, but inevitably overcrowding forces me to release some of them into crowded elevators
I’ve never been so happy to see Becky stop smiling! She’s actually going to talk to someone about this stuff!
Agreed. I’m so glad Becky and Walky can talk without having to pose for Joyce or Dorothy. They will be good for each other.
They were fast friends. They bonded over fart jokes.
AND freaking-Joyce-the-fuck-out-jokes. A match made in heaven.
Maybe she needs him as a signatory/guarantor in order to get an account – she only has minimal ID and no credit history. Or maybe as a guardian, is she 18 yet? I can’t remember.
She’s 18, but since 18-year-olds are not known for being responsible or good with money, it’s still extremely helpful for Hank to co-sign, since it will make it easier to get credit, and apply for student loans.
Hell, just helping her set up an account would have been really helpful. I sure as crap wouldn’t have known how to set one up at 18.
More likely the lack of an address.
Re: that second to last panel – billie why are you so much me
Also Hank is dadding Becky so hard right now and I love it
Pretty sure in this sense “joint bank account” just means Hank makes an account with her that she can use while he acts as a responsible adult telling the bank “no she’s cool don’t worry about it”. Plus it means she can use his address for official stuff and have her name on bank statements and stuff, which is something that can actually be a big deal when you’re doing adult things like getting jobs and places to live. Maybe he’ll slip her a little money into the account, if he thinks she needs it, but I doubt she asked him for it or he specified that.
I was thinking on stuff like that too, though mail might be an issue if Carol gets it before Hank does.
I doubt she’d use Hank’s address, since she’d have to drive for at least an hour to get her mail. Someone on campus would make much more sense.
He can mail it up to Joyce. How often do you need anything you get via snail mail the week you get it, after all? And using a campus address might be a problem when she’s not actually a student. BUT either way, still useful to have a bank account set up with Hank backing her up.
Her current address is in flux, and having things addressed to Becky going to Joyce’s mailbox would be suspicious. It’d be better for it to be sent to Hank, put in another envelope, then sent to Joyce (Or Dina) to give to Becky.
She’s not taking his money, or at least not much. She intends to work but will need a checking acct for direct deposit, something that is much easier if your parent sets it up for you. I’ve done it for all of my kids. Becky’s dad didn’t for her since his plans for her was to be a baby factory for some guy he approved of.
LOL at Alt Text
Seriously Willis… 😛
Panel 1: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 2: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 3: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 4: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 5: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 6: “I’m really worried about Billie”
Panel 7: “I’m really worried about Billie”
pretty much
You forgot Panel 8: Becky: “Did you know I’m a lesbian?”
+1
Or, to be fair, she kinda squeezes that in in panel 7
Yay, I needed one of those. I gave out my last one earlier today, on one the last few comics. I don’t remember which one now. Maybe I should comment less.
Alternative Universe Where Everyone Goes To HighSchool Together:
Billie: “Out of my way, nerd.” *shoves Becky into closet.*
Becky: “That’s a mighty interesting feeling in my pants right there…. oooooh!!!!” *Closet explodes*
(Next up, Becky and Alice becomes bitter rivals)
No matter what universe Becky lives in, she ends up exploding the closet she’s in.
It’s like that Billy Ocean song, “Get out of your closet
and get into my locker”
Billie was named after Billy Ocean. Her parents were big fans.
FACT.
Hank just keeps on rising in my esteem.
He is a Good Parent!
…. yeah, I know, my DumbingOfAgeReadingGlasses broke too. They apparently weren’t equipped dealing with it.
Did Becky develop an accent?
This is the same accent she’s always had….
She’s got a bit of a midwestern / Chicago-y accent, judging by her speech patterns. She’s always had it, but it’s definitely more noticeable here
I’ll shove HER locker. Wait, no. She can put a lock on my shover anytime. Wait, no. Goddammit, there’s a way to make this dirty and I AM gonna find it.
In a way, the first one worked. Perhaps a modification. You have a key to go in her locker? You’ll shove her locker anytime?
I believe you’re looking for: “She can shove me into her locker anytime!”
There it is.
Thank you and also kinda sorry?
Yeah, I’m almost good at innuendos.
last panel
That’s not how spines work… that’s not how they work at all!
That does seem a bit far. Perhaps inspired by Liefeld?
Inspiration is fine, just never go full Liefeld.
No bones survive.
*turns head 180 degrees to stare at you* Whatever do you mean?
This campus has a friggin’ Escher girl?
Dad of the year indeed.
Yeah, I think Jocelyne’s gonna end up all right in the end.
Hank: Lord, I have listened and prayed and although all this is new and strange to me I think I understand the role you have planned for me and what you want me to be for my children.
“Josh”: Dad, we need to talk…
Sadly, I think this will mark the beginning for a bitter battle between Hank and Carol about their children.
Round one: Hank wins Joyce (and Becky)
Round two: Carol wins John
Round three: Bitter struggle for Jocelyne which will most likely end with her coming out.
Round four: Carol puts pressure on Joyce. It will be extremely traumatic for everyone involved.
Jordan: Remains lost to both of them.
I do wonder if we’ll ever meet him. Or did we and I’ve just forgotten about it?
He’s not been tagged yet. I dunno. If we do, it’ll probably be at an appropriate dramatic moment, but he might have more value for now as a reminder to Hank of what he lost trying to hold on to the morality he used to try and hold close.
But there’s one round unaccounted for! What about Snoop? Where does he stand?
When Joyce and Becky showed up at the house, did he so much as acknowledge Becky?? No! Sure, it was all right and proper that Joyce got an immediate slobbering, but not so much as a glance at Becky? Really, Snoop?
Just who is Snoop barking at here?? Becky. Sure, he’s hopping up on Joyce, but he’s clear who he’s looking at as he raises the alarm.
“Watch out, Joyce! She’s a lesbian!!”
And in the very next strip we see Snoop clearly following Becky, jaws ready to strike should she try her lesbian wiles on Joyce.
Snoop Brown is clearly a homophobe
+1
That is indeed a compelling argument, but I think you have misread part of the motivation. Snoop and Becky bark up the same tree. Becky wants to steal her human. Becky is COMPETITION
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/home-sweet-home/
Her head moves but her eyes stay in place.
I’m assuming Cerberus is working on her critique right now, so I’ll just leave this here for now. Panels 2 & 4 seem to be MaskBecky. And with seeing the seriousness concerning Billie by Walky in Panel 3, she lets it go in 5 & 7.
Yeah, I’d agree with that. Panel 2 seems to be mask Becky, Panel 4 seems to have that mask just shattering on her face, and panel 5 she just looks tired. This weekend took a lot out of her.
I’m really glad there is somebody on earth with whom she feels comfortable enough to let the mask slip from time to time. <3
She’s building a small pool. Dina, Walky, Hank… She may finally feel safe enough in the relatively soon future to be able to open up more emotionally and let herself be the Debbie Downer on occasion instead of always feeling like she needs to be Wacky Becky, never brought down by anything. Not the betrayal of family, not her worst nightmares, not the crushing reality of what she has lost. Nope, Wacky Becky keeps on going when her limbs are stiff and her heart is heavy.
And you can’t sustain that. Like, it can keep you moving, but at the cost of a lot of nights just staring at the ceiling, too tired to even self-injure. Becky being able to reach out a little? That’s way healthier.
I really think Walky and Becky will develop a strong friendship and be really good for each other. Walky need to allow himself to let go of Wacky Walky as well.
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: Well, that’s the heaviest ‘kay possible. Not helped by Walky probably delivering the most haunted “oh, Billie said you could stay here” he possibly could because both of them are actively terrified for Billie’s safety and well-being.
Panel 2: Oh, Becky, that smile. That mask is slipping and hard. Those flashbacks after this intense weekend, feeling back in that place discovering her mom, oof. Just oof.
Though there’s a vain hope in it too, just wanting to confirm her worst fears aren’t coming true. That Billie will take her bed back instead of continuing to give it to her as a suicide gift, because she can’t take Joyce cuddles right now, but she can’t even begin to take suicide bed gift even. That’s too hard of an ask for her.
Panel 3: Oh Walky, that line. You’ve known Billie for years. You know some of her bullshit and you’re so justifiably terrified of the headspace your essentially sister is in. And you know her promises don’t tend to be worth a damn (I love Billie, but she doesn’t often see keeping a promise as a big thing or prioritize it that often), so her promising to hold on for a bit longer fills you with just as much fear and apprehension as Ruth’s “I’m not killing myself yet” did for Billie.
And this feels like Walky at his best and all those traits that make me want to root for his continued growth even when he’s being a butt. There’s so much empathy in this, so much fear and pain. And yet, despite all his worries about Billie, he still makes sure to check in with Becky and where she’ll be if Billie comes around.
It’s a really good empathetic action and proof that when he gets shaken out of his head a bit and his own mask of performance, he’s one damn empathetic person who values others and frequently puts them first. In that respect, he’s very much alike Carla and Becky.
“It’s a really good empathetic action and proof that when he gets shaken out of his head a bit and his own mask of performance, he’s one damn empathetic person who values others and frequently puts them first. In that respect, he’s very much alike Carla and Becky.”
I’m not so sure I’d call it a mask. Or at least, I would not call is a deliberate and carefully constructed mask, the way Carla and Becky most certainly are doing it. We both know the details of those masks, so I won’t repeat them here.
Now, I could agree that Walky’s stupid attitudes about masculinity and so on is… Well, it’s not who he is really meant to be. He is meant to grow out of that BS, and every now and then, we get to see those moments where he is either forgetting about it, or is in a position where he can ignore it. And when those moments come and we see the real Walky, then yes, we see that he cares about other people as much as anyone.
I would strongly agree on that being the difference between him and Becky/Carla. They are both intentionally putting on a mask, whereas he’s falling into a mask beating into him by socialization and which he doesn’t even notice putting on.
That’s a lot harder mask to deal with, because it’s not just a matter of opening up. It’s also learning to notice the mask in the first class. Luckily he’s going to a class that has a fair few lectures on masks.
I’d almost call it a jacket, not a mask. Reminds me a little of President Obama’s conversation with Marc Maron on his WTF podcast, where Obama said that he was trying on different things in college, different definitions of ‘cool’ and what it means to be a man. It’s a really interesting bit. Young people try on different scripts for their lives and interactions and relationships, and Walky’s toxic masculinity often feels like one of those scripts that he doesn’t yet have the vocabulary to reject, because he’s not sure what’ll replace it.
Reminds me of me a few years older, in college but trying to figure out where I was going and who I was gonna be.
Jacket works, I think. A mask is something you cannot help but notice that you’re wearing (and never put on without a clear reason), whereas a jacket is just something you put on and promptly forget about.
I’m not so sure it isn’t intentional. As much as any of these masks are intentional anyway.
It’s different, certainly.
It’s there mostly to lower expectations and keep from having to deal with responsibility.
Billie can’t lie or keep secrets? That’s bullshit.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/separate-2/
Yup, sadly, Walky has NO confidence that Billie will not do something self destructive tonight… but he has no idea what to do about it. Today’s event has taught him that he was right to listen to his instincts, that Billie does NOT do well… But he has no clue how to help her.
Poor little buddy. I’m so glad he got some alone time with Becky. They need each other.
I read it as Becky suddenly slapping on a mask as she realized Walky was there in panel 2, struggling to get the mask all the way on, and in 5, giving up and letting it fall back off.
She’s definitely too exhausted to wear it (which is no doubt why she’s here and not with Joyce and Dorothy, or Dina right now), but I think she also sensed she didn’t need it with Walky.
Maybe because he’s clearly not wearing his own right now, but I at least hope also because she realized how much of a relief it was to be able to talk to Hank about these things, if only briefly.
Whoops, that was supposed to be a reply to Orion’s thread earlier
I like your take on it as well. Eloquence doesn’t come well to me late at night. I can be poetic during the day at least.
Panel 4: And Becky’s mask is 19/20ths off and about to shatter on the floor. I’d say this is just about the edge of what energy she’s got left and has been burning to keep going and try and hide the mass of pain and hurt and traumas she’s been nursing.
And that first line. Part of it is empathetic Becky, not wanting to put anyone out if she can avoid it and thinking of others, but a big part of it might be that this bed no longer feels safe now that she has the idea she has of why it was given to her.
By that I mean, she thinks this was a suicide gift. That Billie gave her her bed, because she was planning to kill herself with Ruth and wanted to have no more possessions or home to return to to make it easier to step away.
And that has to be so unbelievably triggering for her. Because we’ve seen in the flashbacks that Bonnie was a caring sort of mother that Becky formed a strong bond with. So, I worry that that means that Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to try and make things are kind as possible for her daughter, giving her a good day or a good gift, so as to leave on a happier note.
So receiving this type of largesse probably feels like poison on her skin. One of the reasons why Walky came in on her just staring up at it, not climbing on it, not even daring to touch it.
Also, Hank. Damn. You’re solid gold, man. I was really worried for awhile, but it’s damn heartening to see how you’ve grown and how much you’ve really accepted Becky as your third daughter (no, don’t ask, you’ll find out soon, maybe even sooner than you think if you keep on being awesome like this).
Cause she needs things like that. A perch to stand on to be able to reach anything else. To be able to afford the fees to get the rest of her documents, not have to rely on everyone else for food, even a bank account so she has somewhere to put her paychecks when she starts getting them.
And something as small as that can be life-altering and life-saving. Small kindnesses when you’re world is falling apart? They’re everything.
Becky must be getting severe whiplash out of this – the Best and the Worst things keep happening to her in accelerated rate. And she is right there with Walky – they would both give ANYTHING to save Billie, only they don’t know what that anything might be.
“So, I worry that that means that Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to try and make things are kind as possible for her daughter, giving her a good day or a good gift, so as to leave on a happier note.”
Damn, now I want to write this fic.
I am a horrible person.
You also want to read a story about Bonnie giving her daughter at least one truly happy day in her life.
I’m pretty sure she did plenty of that. Becky misses her for a lot more than just that last day.
All out, ‘ladyballs’ to the wall, happy day?
Panel 5: Becky is so exhausted in this panel. As Joyce noted a while back, I think she’s ran enough for a bit.
And it is exhausting being in a state like that. Being betrayed by family, being homeless. I got the easy version of all that, narrowly avoiding the latter entirely, but it beats you down real fast, no matter how much strength you thought you had.
And Becky has been running on empty for awhile, bottling up all her pain, not reaching out, being scared to ask for aid, feeling self-conscious about what has been offered already, having to be back in the home that will never accept her, which ceased to be her home the moment she found her mom on the bed.
And that statement of hers, pause before it and all feels to me like what it really feels to be homeless or close to it. When you are relying on the kindness of strangers to limp on a little longer and having to swallow all your pride to beg, because you need to survive.
Cause at least in America, being homeless is treated as a character flaw, as proof that you somehow fucked up your own life and now you’re stealing the hard won capital of others to survive. And so every scrap of charity, every desperate plea, every organized request from friends or supporters. It cuts like knives and makes you feel just utterly worthless like a big sack of garbage. And like every small kindness is something stolen from others.
And it’s what makes political statements by rich assholes about homelessness all the more infuriating, because they fundamentally do not understand just how demoralizing it is to be beaten down low and have to beg for help. How bitter it is to swallow your dignity and self-regard cause you gotta eat.
We’ve already seen her debate her principles to survive in thinking about applying to Chik fil A. But here, it’s just the raw pain of what it means to be homeless.
And it’s not made any easier for her in that she really does feel like she’s “stolen” this bed from Billie. That it was only given to her because of Billie’s desire to kill herself and now folks are acting like it shouldn’t be given immediately back so Billie has a home again and a reason for life.
Her being put out? She’ll take that a million times to keep those she loves safe. She was willing to live under a bridge far away from her gf and her friends and the closest thing to a family she had just to protect them from Toedad. That was her Plan A for escape.
Having others feel a person shouldn’t return to their own room because it may inconvenience her thus feels like almost an insult. Like, but no, I’m not that awful. I don’t ever want to be that awful.
And that’s also likely mixing in with the cultural messages she’s been replaying in her head and which Toedad was probably enough of an asshole to say repeatedly, that she is worthless and a mooch for surviving in the first place (hell, even the initial flock of Becky haters latched on to that one to berate her back in the day).
Becky may be too poor to have principles, but she REALLY doesn’t like having to be dependent on people.
Panel 6: That… that is an incredibly astute summary of Billie’s major recovery hurdle right now. That not only does she believe that by giving part of herself away she can be happy, she also believes that it’s only the sacrificing of herself that gives her value in the first place.
Ripping herself apart, serving others, cloistering her with one big romantic partner and making it her and them against the world. That was her pattern with her old cheer squad and Alice. It was her pattern with Ruth. It’s the core of how she views her very worth.
If she’s not head cheerleader, alpha percussion instrument, then in her mind, what value could she have to anyone. After all, all she can see are her flaws, the alcoholism, the inability to fully open up about her emotional self, the ease in which she lies to people, the self-destruction.
In her head, that’s all she is. So if she’s gonna get better, if she’s not going to continue to be co-dependent with Ruth or whoever she dates next, if she’s not going to spiral in the absence of her previous normal, she’s gonna need to adapt into seeing her value beyond what she can sacrifice for others and how she can live her life in service to their happiness.
She’s going to need to find something in herself to love. And as someone with shit self-esteem, I’m not going to pretend that’s going to be an either easy or quick task for her.
Panel 7: Damn, I absolutely love all of Becky’s little sub moments, because it so neatly complements Dina’s domly tendencies.
Just shove her around, order her to kiss someone she desperately wants to kiss. These sort of things do it for her and she explores that so much healthier with Dina than Ruth and Billie explored their kinkier moments.
Yup, That’s like 1/3 of what’s messed up with her relationship with Ruth…. and it really says something that a thing like that doesn’t add up to more than that in the sum of their relationship problems.
Oh yes. Dina and Becky REALLY lucked out with each other in so many ways. Becky doesn’t mind at all being dino tackled by her girl friend after a stressful weekend. Not at all…
That was a much more astute observation than I expected out of Walky. Billie thinks her value lies in what she can sacrifice for others. She doesn’t see herself as important unless she’s solving problems or giving something away. That’s why she was so quick to domesticate herself in Ruth’s room. She set Ruth’s agenda, laid out her clothes and fixed her hair. She finds value in her relationships because she’s desperately looking for someone she values to find value in her. Even though she starts dating Ruth because she thinks they’re both “broken” and “poisonous”, she still doesn’t think Ruth could love her just for herself. She has to be constantly proving her worthiness to her. She think’s Ruth is the only person on campus who is “broken” enough to want her but she STILL doesn’t think she’s good enough for Ruth.
🙁
Yup*.
*Which is not a headspace I’m unfamiliar with. Spent a far amount of time trying to be a perfect partner because I presumed that naturally, my value to other people would be negative and so I had to “make that up”. And I’m only just now realizing that that meant swallowing a lot of abuse and thinking I deserved it (turns out when society says people like you are inherently harmful to their partners, it gets real easy to internalize, especially when you have a partner slowly escalating abusive behaviors due to stress and gaslighting you the whole time).
A similar sort of headspace for Billie would explain why she was so quick to forgive Ruth’s initial abuse, how she tried to structure the relationship and why she kept on trying to stop attending classes to wait on Ruth 24/7, and why she assumes she’s ruined everyone’s life by not being perfect enough and why she assumes she’s inherently toxic.
And yeah, that last line. She really doesn’t view herself as good enough for anyone. And you look at what is implied about her parents, where she might as well have been a ghost, as well as how much she feels she fell from grace of being “the savior of girls going through fucked up situations” as Head Cheerleader and it makes sense why she assumes that she’s of no value.
She was the most popular girl and did important duties and still her parents couldn’t bother to feign interest in whether she lived or died. And for all her efforts, it still went all pear-shaped and she lost Alice and her license and her cheerleading gig and all her chance to feel like she was helping.
She’s needed self-esteem for awhile and I’m hoping that her therapist can help her.
@Panel 7
WHAT!? What what what!? I hadn’t gotten that out of Becky. But maybe.
But I said it then, and I’ll say it now: There was one moment, I think, where they really had their kinkiness be bad. That was when Billie had that shitty day and needed comfort and Ruth’s immediate reaction was to feign irritation (which she was having trouble doing, for any of at least 3 easy reasons). Ruth realized quickly that what she needed was outside their standard play, and while I don’t think Billie was really hurt by that, A: I could be wrong, and B: Not screwing up today isn’t a guarantee of not screwing up tommorrow, yeah?
Every interaction we’ve seen besides that, within the confines of their kinkiness, has been pretty great. (go leafs). Hell, “Go Leafs” was sucha n incredible validation for Billie, I suspect. At least in the short term. That miiight have hurt in the long term, granted.
THis isn’t to say their overdrinking is fine or that everything is perfect. But on the narrow topic of the dom/sub stuff? Yeah, they’ve caused so little harm that I honestly think it’s unfair, given their complete disconnect from any community (Not even, apparently, reading tips).
Though if your read of Becky is right, I suspect she’s pretty happy with really tame stuff, and I can’t see how there’d be any harm in how things have gone, so it’s still /healthier/, just… more the difference between, idk, a really good diet and a good diet. AGain, one narrow aspect. Overall, holy jeezy petes, those two are way healthier in their relationship than Billie and Ruth.
I like Billie and Ruth /way the hell better/, but that’s /because/ they’re not doing everything basically right.
I’m now imagining Dina “ordering” Becky to kiss a series of other girls, while she observes.
For science.
Hank continues to be the best dad. Go Hank.
Holy crap, Becky…
Being involved in local theatre, I’ve seen firsthand many examples of how draining playing a character can be. Like the friend who played the lead in her high school production of Mary Poppins, who broke down in tears after their last show. Three hours of acting takes a toll, mentally.
And Becky’s been doing this ALL DAY. Sure, she’s had a few very brief moments when she let it slip, just for a minute, but that’s hardly intermission enough for this. I can’t imagine how exhausted she must be right now, and I’m really glad she’s found the support network in that dorm. Can’t believe I’m saying it, but she really needs someone like Walky around to keep her sane.
That is very, very true.
I mean, this is still the same day as THIS
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/amazinglove/
Holy poop that’s right. She really has been making a herculean effort to keep Joyce from worrying about her.
Billie seems to be a study in contradictions: She was a bully at school and yet Walky, who was one of her victims, says that the real Billie is generous almost to the point where she causes herself difficulty to help others. I’m wondering which of these is the role and I bet that it is the former.
Is it her parents who told her that she needed to push other people around? Or is it just the media with its stereotypes of success through violence and domination? However, the real Billie is the person who is willing to give away her living space to someone in need. My worry is that, as Becky pointed out a few strips back, it makes it easy for her to neatly and tidily give away everything prior to crawling into a hole and dying. What Billie needs now is for someone, preferably Becky but Walky may be able to manage it in a pinch, to tell her that she isn’t worthless; all she needs to do is drop the alpha act.
Well, we know her dad was the type of person to harangue the mayor to throw out all the homeless people out of the city, so she probably learned a fair few bully attitudes from him.
Not necessarily taught her ‘bullying’ but certainly taught her that the successful do so by the domination of the weak, to the point where it genuinely doesn’t occur to her that there is anything wrong in doing this (which is why Alice’s denunciation so knocked her into a death spiral – her entire world-view had just collapsed around her).
Not necessarily saying it’s that way with Billie, but it’s pretty common and easy to compartmentalize, divide the world into those worthy of help and those not. Be a great support and help to your cheerleading squad and bully the nerds.
Soooo… even though I never read it as a kid I understand the the giving tree as a pretty damn disturbing story. As in even worse than the controversy the ‘rainbow fish’ causes for some folks (and it’s understandable because holy crap guys wtf kind of moral is that to rip off pieces of yourself to give away to make people like you).
As another note Walky and Becky do have some similarities- they like toilet humour and liking making Joyce make ‘faces’- and they also cover up their more complicated emotions with wackiness. Maybe a friendship can help them with that?
Those similarities are exactly the reason why they can open up to each other. And that is why they are becoming friends.
I think it’s safe to say that Walky is probably able to open up to anyone BUT Dorothy, which is a nerve-wracking thing to see.
Hank continues to be a wonderful character! I hope to see more of him soon!
Hank keeps getting better and better as this comic goes on.
Wow, people are quick to trash on Becky for accepting Hank’s help, but here’s the thing…
1. She has no clue how finances work. Yes, opening a bank account is easy, but depending on the state she could probably not open a bank account on her own, since she is 18. A lot of banks will not give an 18 year old their own account without parents signatures. Besides, seeing as she’s homeless, having an account for direct deposit is safer for her when she gets her eventual job.
2. there’s a difference between saying “i dont want charity” and taking it and accepting help/charity but resolving to get to a place in life where you don’t need it. That’s what is going on here.
3. People are saying “she needs to apply for this, this and this…” Keep in mind, she’s 18. I’m pretty sure the thought hasn’t crossed her mind. She was ridiculously sheltered by her dad, so odds are she’s not even aware she can apply for food stamps and it’s only been an extremely short time since she ran away, got held at gunpoint and gone to the Brown’s. Most of it probably hasn’t entirely sunk in yet.
I have utmost faith that Becky will be ok in the long run, but people need to stop trashing the poor girl. I mean, it’s not like any of us knew everything at 18.
People are trashing her? That’s terrible! Setting things up with someone with good credit really helps counter-act how practically cut-throat interest payments and the like are these days for those without established credit.
And for most of these, she needs an address. Using Hank’s info can make all of that infinitely easier.
And add depending on the bank she needs a minimum balance.
Another possible benefit of a joint account, low balance fees may be waived because of the balances in Hank’s other accounts.
Also makes it really easy to transfer funds in case of “oh crap I need $100 or my power’s getting shut off” rather than waiting 3 business days (freaking Wednesday…).
Unrelated to today’s comic, I’ve heard a lot of people say that statistically, most people are bi. Does anyone have a link to the survey or whatever it is that indicates that?
The idea is more that not everyone falls into stringent labels of Straight and Gay, and that varying degrees of attraction can exist even in people who don’t exclusively identify as bisexual.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/kinsey/
I think this comic sort of sums up the most common school of thought. Some people are pure straight, some people are pure homosexual, then the majority are probably somewhere in-between.
I know that, but I’ve frequently heard people state that most people fall close to the middle as if it was proven, so I was wondering if there’s any proof of that.
The data I’ve seen suggests the curve is strongly skewed to the heterosexual end – though that may still mean that there are more people in the 1-5 range, than at 0. More completely straight than anywhere else on the scale and more bisexuals who are mostly attracted to the opposite sex than the other way around.
OTOH, there are strong social pressure against bisexuality and given that it would be easy for many people to think even to themselves they were purely straight (or purely gay?), I’m not 100% convinced it’s that simple. It would be interesting to see if the curve changes over time as attitudes change – or varies in different countries or populations.
There’s also some evidence it differs with gender.
Statistically most people are straight, then we have bisexuals, then gay and finally transgender people.
People saying that majority of us are bi is of course false, if that was true then most of people living in safe civilised societies without pressure of someone killing or raping them just for being gay/bi would act on that more often and we don’t see that.
Where are these civilised societies and can we move there?
More seriously, as Cerberus hints at below, at lot depends on who you count as bi. If it includes everything from 1 to 5 on the Kinsey scale: basically everyone who’s every had any attraction to people of their non-preferred gender, then that’s a lot of bi people. But many of them are still overwhelmingly attracted to their preferred gender – for all practical purposes they’re straight. They may or may not even acknowledge the attraction to themselves. The same to lesser extent on the homosexual end of the scale – if you’re 95% attracted to the same gender.
I’m all for fighting bi erasure, but I still think there’s a real difference between someone who once had a crush and someone who’s more balanced.
One article I looked at while trying to find numbers for the curve suggested a fairly obvious reason for why so many bisexuals seem to wind up mostly with opposite gender partners – there are simply more candidates. Even if one bisexual really is equally attracted to all genders, more people are either strictly straight or predominately straight, so the pool of people who might return their interest is slanted towards the other gender.
I’m gonna guess that they are referencing this article:
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/teens-these-days-are-queer-af-new-study-says
Which can’t access the original study they are referencing here, but it feels like the article is overstating what the study found since the quote inside said something along the lines of a third identifying as some flavor of pan/bi/etc…
What the real number is is hard to tell, because bisexuality is heavily stigmatized and there’s a cultural emphasis to focus on different gender attractions and dismiss same gender attractions as either not real, a phase, not really counting, an exception, or something every “straight person” deals with.
From casual conversations, I’ve met way too many “straight” people who nonetheless had a “gay exception” rule for a handsome or pretty celebrity of their gender, referenced an experience in their youth that they “grew out of”, or conversed like hey, every “straight person” has their eye wander from time to time, really, why do we even need to state straight or queer, man.
And sadly, I’ve seen these arguments resonate with people enough to justify queer folks who come out. My ex’s mom dismissed her coming out as bi with “we all have a fling when we’re in college, I did, but you learn to grow out of that”. And one of the more common anti-gay arguments, the one that gay people choose to be gay only makes sense if there’s a significant number of folks who really did feel like they made a choice between their straightness and acknowledging and acting upon same gender attractions.
I suspect as bi/pan/queer sexualities continue to be less stigmatized, we’ll get a better look at what the actual numbers would be. Given that we are close relatives to bonobos, a particularly high percentage of the population being somewhere in the bi/pan lands, would not be wholly unexpected.
Seems to me that it’d be relatively easy to make relatively objective measurements. Just tack on some scanning devices to see the amount of activity in parts of the brain correlated to sexual attraction in your test subjects, then show them a large number of photos/expose the test subjects to each other, and use that to get an estimate on where on the Kinsey scale they land.
https://www.jwtintelligence.com/2016/03/gen-z-goes-beyond-gender-binaries-in-new-innovation-group-data/
There is the write up from the think tank that did the survey. I have concerns about the survey as well as the write up. The survey only included 600 people and there is no indication of how those respondents were chosen and if the sample was properly randomized. Many of the questions were ambiguous enough to not offer a clear conclusion based on the responses.
The portion of the survey relevant to this discussion only has 503 respondents. It does not seem to make a clear distinction between what each number on the Kinsey scale represents beyond 0= completely heterosexual, 6= completely homosexual and 3= completely bisexual. Combined with your observation that there is social stigma attached to those answers, those numbers don’t mean much.
I would love to see a better structured survey on variation in sexuality because this one wasn’t worth a whole lot.
The hover text makes me want to do a Settlers of Catan joke.
Nah, that’d be sheep shot.
Must we? I would robber see a different punline than this…
I cannot baron any more of these puns.
(derailing this into Carcassonne puns)
I had never read nor heard of The Giving Tree (not living in the Anglosphere (is that a thing? I’ve decided it’s a thing)), so I googled it up and… holy shit, that story is fucked up!
See also The Most Foolish Traveler in the World.
As a dad, I understand Hank’s frame of mind that morning in church to be in flux. At the beginning, he wants to help Becky and thinks the cost of doing that will be a few arguments with Carol. Then he sees things play out; the horrible treatment of both his daughter and her best friend who may as well be his daughter. And he begins to understand the scene from another angle. By the time he finds Joyce sitting in the foyer with her wrist brace off, crying, and he has seen the brave face Becky is putting on, he’s ready to pay a much higher price to set it right.
See, I started getting shoved into lockers *after* figuring out the whole lesbian thing.
Yaaaay, joint bank account!
I’d like to complain about this comic. Binge-reading it severely drains my battery!!
Otherwise… Yay!!
🙂
Questions, questions.
So what is Walky doing here? Being Billie’s messenger boy? He’s certainly not gotten the messages correct between 1 & 3: “You can sleep here tonight” but she’s coming back tonight?
“the giving tree … if giving was being shoved into lockers.”
As Cerebus points out, Becky has a submissive streak and would like to have been shoved into a locker. The effect on Walky has been what?
I wonder if Walky has explained to Dotty what he’s doing? That’s if he understands himself.
On a positive note, go Hank! Becky needs that bank account to survive.
He was saying “She said (for) ‘tonight'” as in, all she discussed was tonight. It was not a direct response to the question becky had last asked.
In panel 3, he’s the ”tonight” he’s referring to is when Billie said Becky could use her bed, as in, ”she only mentioned tonight, nothing about what happens after that, one way our the other”. Its grammatically ambiguous, but since Billie couldn’t both lend Becky her bed AND sleep in it, I’m pretty sure that’s not what he meant.
I mean, I get that you don’t like Walky, and that’s fine, but on this one it really feels like you’re going out of your way to find things to dislike. Its totally ok to dislike somebody even if they occasionally do non-horrible or even nice things.
Ah, I get it now.
Still, doesn’t answer the deeper question of “why” he’s doing what he’s doing. It may be friendship but I can’t help thinking it’s something more. A relationship based on abuse can’t be healthy.
Or where Dotty fits in all of this. I wonder how he’ll present it to her? Throw her a bone, perhaps?
All will be revealed, of course. Or not.
Its hardly based on abuse. There certainly was some, but my own older brother did a lot worse than that to me (some of which I had coming, I was no angel myself) when we were kids, but we never stopped being family because of it. Even back when we would regularly get into fights (usually more shoving and wedgies than actual punches) we also – voluntarily – would hang out and have fun together. We grew out of that as we got older, and as adults we now get along great.
So Billie and Walky’s relationship feels very familiar to me
I don’t think you do get it.
Maybe what I don’t like in Walky is what I don’t like in myself, or versions of my previous selfs that I’ve witnessed.
I don’t like it when Walky – or many commenters urge him on – plays the buffoon in order to “lighten” the depressed. When I see comments like that, I tend to think, the logical extension to that shall we get Coco the Clown in as the therapist shall we?
My depression responds more to “light physical contact” and practical (non-humorous) suggestions. (A friend of mine got me out of a pickle by saying that I should make a plan, keep myself occupied. It helped.)
For me, Walky is emerging as a more interesting character than just a high-school nerd (that’s how I believe Americans would phrase it) gone wrong, who’s suddenly finding empathy. Is Walky Billies friend or her sub? That’s where I think the last panel leaves us with ambiguity.
I wonder what drama will ensue when the dreaded day arrives and he’s told to sling his hook from Uni?
I’d argue that his clowning antics are more likely to work with people who are not all the way depressed. Making someone laugh can get them out of a funk.
But if they’re at the point when they won’t laugh then it can often make you feel worse.
As for why Walky’s there? Because he was the last one to talk to Billie, and she told him to let Becky know.
As for their relationship? They were best friends and basically siblings for years. But when Billie became a cheerleader, she pretended not to like him. She might hang out with him in private, but, in public, she had to avoid the “nerd.” Yes, maybe Walky actually enjoyed that relationship to a degree. But I don’t think we’ve got full out sexual attraction going on.
It’s just really unusual to think of someone who was like a sister to you in that way.
You are correct, I found it a bit confusing, but that makes a lot of sense.
I also agree that while Walky can be forgiven for his fuck-ups, that doesn’t mean he didn’t fuck up. Even if he ended up cheering Billie up a little or at least distracting her, the jokes he started with absolutely are not the kind of thing anyone should try in real life. It’s the kind of thing that, if it ever works, it still wouldn’t work if you were doing it on purpose. Even if you’re just talking about someone who is merely sad, not depressed, you better be really damn sure before doing that kind of thing. There are just so many better ways you can try to inject humor into a situation that don’t have such a high risk of backfiring horribly.
Hopefully, Walky will continue to realize these things as I did, and grow as a character to find new, different ways to fuck up.
… Same, Becky, same.