Eh, as someone who’s struggled with “cancer”, it’s more than just Toedad. Yeah, Toedad’s don’t help, but “cancer” is also a disease that claims lives just like cancer does.
“Cancer” can be either situational or chronic (chemical) and is often a mixture of both. At least that’s what I’ve learned from having it as situational as a teenager and being married to someone for whom it’s chronic.
If there aren’t enough seats in the car, then Dina being superglued to Becky might become inconvenient. She’s going to have to run alongside the car while Becky has her arm out the window.
People are acting like he intentionally lied, but idk? The whole “did no one ever tell you…?” sounds like he thought she knew. It was almost certainly Ross who told people it was cancer rather than owning up to it.
Did we ever figure out how close Bonnie’s death was to when Becky and Joyce left La Porte? (For Anderson and Indiana University)
I ask, because when Joyce first arrived at university she tended to talk about Becky’s parents without any thinking that there was only one of them anymore. I mean, perhaps Willis had yet to develop Becky’s backstory enough to include the fact that Bonnie was dead.
But I also think that there is a fair chance that Bonnie died only just a small amount of time before they went off to college – And that Joyce had yet to actually process the fact that Becky had lost a parent. Or at least to process it enough to have it change her speech patterns.
So I’m guessing there wasn’t more than a month between when Bonnie died and when Joyce left home, and we all know Becky would have only had the dorm phone, no internet or mobile. By this theory of mine, if Becky and Joyce had still been in high school when it happened… The truth would have eventually (over a couple of months) been conveyed to her by Becky. (Maybe). But instead there wasn’t really enough time for a slow trickle – and once they saw each other again there were more pertinent matters (Becky coming out)\
Perhaps none of this is the case. I really do not know. I am not even sure if it matters.\
Slartibeast: OUCH!!!!!!! Which would mean that from Becky’s perspective, the minute she starts preparing to leave for college her mother kills herself. I REALLY hope she doesn’t blame herself for it.
It might also mean that Bonnie’s absence was too soon to settle in, for Joyce. She may simply be too used to thinking of ‘Becky’s parents’ to remember that there’s only one, now. That kind of change in thinking can sometimes take years to settle in.
Could also be that she was seeing signs that Becky was queer and if some people’s headcanons are correct that Becky’s mom was queer as well but buried it for the marriage, that that brought it all back up and she couldn’t stand to watch her daughter forced into the same life that destroyed her as would be happening in early college.
No matter what, all the 🙁 for Becky’s mom and what she must have suffered in silence no matter her reality.
Betting it was Carol who misinformed Joyce. Toedad is an unlikely source to pass anything personal onto a neighbor kid. Carol would have felt it her Christian duty to help cover up something so shameful. That she owed that to Toedad and Becky. Since the question was asked and answered, Joyce didn’t pursue it and Hank was probly unaware of the lie.
I think it was Becky. She’s the one who’s Joyce’s friend, she’s the one whose mom it was, and she’s the one who was most likely under strict orders from Toedad on how exactly to talk about it. Joyce’s parents were probably like “So did Becky tell you?…” and Joyce was like “Yeah…” and they never discussed details.
Yeah. A close friend of mine lost her mother identically to Becky; walked into her parents’ room to find something, found mom collapsed on the floor, lost her in the hospital later that day. But for years, she told everyone outside the family that her mom “got sick.” Even without a stifling fundie upbringing, feelings about suicide are complicated, shameful, and guilt-ridden for the people left in its wake.
Fun fact: according to Wikipedia the ’95 Blazer was named Truck of the Year by both Motor Trend and Playboy. It’s unclear if either of these publications influenced his buying decision.
Blazer is the every-person SUV, available in everything from bare-bones basic to tricked-out. If you live in the Midwest and go a day without seeing a dozen, it’s because you haven’t gone outside yet.
Yeah, I’m really beginning to like, admire, respect, etc. Hank.
Thanks, Willis – the characters you create are deep, complex and really human. As hard as it is, I’m finding I pity Toedad more than hate.
(But at least we’ve still got Mr. O’Malley to hate – as much as I understand his motivations, I still can’t condone them, and I honestly wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving him behind when evacuating a burning building…)
I dunno. He didn’t say she never had cancer just that that’s not why she was hospitalized. Not every “traditional housewife” is miserable and longing for more out of life. Maybe she had ovarian cancer and was depressed she couldn’t have a big family. Tho I’m sure the toe didn’t help.
I’m sure “cancer” was a story they told Joyce because they didn’t want to talk about suicide. That sort of talk might lead to doubt and thinking, after all.
I’m sure cancer is what everyone else was told publicly, whether they believed it or not. When that kind of thing g happens in a community like that, there’s often a lot of keeping up appearances, even if everyone knows exactly what’s going on.
A friend of mine killed herself. Cancer was actually the cover story put around at the time. It was largely a question of her husband and other close loved ones wanting to just grieve without all the speculation and awkwardness that would have been caused by the larger community knowing the truth right away.
It’s “unseemly” for “good Christian wives” to be depressed or want to kill themselves. Depression and suicide is something that happens to “godless heathen types” and someone who is “saved” has the love of Jesus in their life and so could never have want of anything or have any pain that should end in such a sinful “disgrace” for her family.
So, everyone will be super kind and refer to it as cancer and reinforce the myth. Oh, yes, terrible tragedy, struck so young, God has plans for us all, donchaknow.
Bury it, hide it away, let no one talk openly about the truth even if all the adults know and gossip amongst themselves.
Aw shit, I just realized something about “consumption” as a catch-all term for things. Basically, it would be a really easy way to hide a wife murdered by abuse, because all you’d have to do is make a reference to all the blood and people would just assume that they succumbed to consumption rather than were beaten to death.
Daniel here. Grew up “Roman Catholic”. Suicide is classified as a sin in Jesus-based religions as far as I can tell. So for Mr “THIS is how a family MUST BE!” Toedad, your Wife killing herself would most likely result in 1 of 2 responces;
—drag her name through the mud left after moving a latrine – “She turned to the Devil” “the Devil cursed her actions” “I tried taking pity on her, but she fell to the Devil anyway” “She is DAMNED to HELL now, the #$%^$” etc…
—make up some story to cover the event, so YOU don’t appear to have failed somehow…
Toedad seems to have gone with option 2, with the only hint of option 1 being “Satan took your Mother from me,…” while kidnapping Becky with a rifle…
Yes, there’s a whole anti-mythos around suicide in Christian culture. In the UK, suicide was illegal up until the 60s, neither could they be buried in consecrated ground. In fact they still shouldn’t.
What I hadn’t realised, until I looked it up was that in England suicides were buried at a crossroads, desecrated.
As an aside, Carol uses that form of words – “I would die for you” – to Joyce in one of her phone-calls.
I’m 90% certain Carol meant “I would heroically shield yourself for danger and die by doing so, thus earning my place in Heaven” or something along those lines, not killing herself.
Much like Toedad meant “I would heroically die in a hail of police gunfire trying to save your soul from hell for being a lesbian, thus earning my place in Heaven.”
” In the UK, suicide was illegal up until the 60s,”
So.. it’s legal now, you mean? Because that sounds odd, I wasn’t aware of a “1st world” country were suicide was legal, it’s certainly not legal in Norway.
And, if it was legal, why do Brits keep travelling abroad to perform assisted suicides ?
I think the word illegal is meant to imply that up until the 60s, if your suicide attempt was failed, you’d be facing a prison sentence, not therapy. That sounds a little too stupid to be true though, so I hope I’m mistaken.
No, you are not mistaken.
If you tried to kill yourself and failed and were brought to police attention, you’d be prosecuted.
Suicide is when someone kills themselves without the help of someone else.
Assisted suicide is a different kettle of fish, because you are not really in a position to do it yourself, so someone else actually kills you. And that falls under the definition of manslaughter at least, if there is no law allowing it it special circumstances.
So are people in Norway prosecuted when they try to kill themselves?
I’m with some of the others, when Becky started getting ready for college, her mother figured she was old enough to make it on her own and didn’t want to be left alone with ToeDad, and committed suicide.
I feel like in yesterday’s strip Hank might have still been a bit off put by Dina being Becky’s girlfriend since he had let it slip his mind it seems like something easier to forget.
But today, today any chance that Hank was going to be a little bit uncomfortable with Becky has pretty much disappeared. He’s in dad mode now, and I sincerely believe he is ready to do whatever he needs help Becky deal with this situation.
Between Church and this it’s been a hell of a day for Hank watching shit roll down on Becky. Some might say his heart grew three sizes, but that would probably involve underestimating the default size of his heart.
Sarah is dealing with the problem she never expected to encounter: people who support one another and actually try to help those in need. It seems alien to her worldview where good actions are met with scorn and derision.
A lot of religions with afterlife creeds have to have exemption clauses for suicide to prevent people from killing themselves the first time something bad happens in their life so they can take the fast track to heaven.
This complicates things when otherwise good people break the contract by killing themselves. It either means you have to tell children that the dogma is wrong, or that their friends mother who was a wonderful person is now and forever going to sit in hell.
I don’t respect people lying like this about suicide/depression/mental health. But most of them don’t know better and they’re all caught up in some pretty shitty rules.
Eh, it’s a bit simpler than that in that suicide is considered a form of murder. However, it’s largely viewed as an act committed out of mental illness now by almost all churches.
Well, I mean he did lie to his daughter about how her best friend’s mom died, basically because it made his life easier, so I don’t know if I’d call that a ‘good dad’ moment.
No, no I mean I was almost expecting him to hit the roof at the idea of an RA sleeping with one of the freshmen along with one or both of them apparently being suicidal. I suppose it was paranoia.
But here he’s just thinking of Becky and “oh gosh this must be hard for her.”
Dunno. It looks a little like he thought she knew – i.e. he thought his wife had talked with her about what was going on. He’s finding things out here, too. I think Hank is still on the side of the angels on this one. At worst he allowed her to be lied to and didn’t check that she got the truth later on. More likely he didn’t know she was deceived.
I can definitely see that. Which means he’s seeing for the first time just how stuck in herself Becky has had to be and what that hints for her home life where she couldn’t even take the risk of telling her best friend how her mom actually died.
Maybe he let Joyce’s Mother do the talking, girl to girl, since I’ve notice many men are good at that kinda thing, only for Mommy (that’s how Americans spell it, right?) to go with Cancer?
I mean, yes and no. It did “make his life easier,” but not in the lazy sense in which it sounds like you mean that. There are certain topics *most* parents are afraid to broach with their children (especially young children), suicide among them. There are few ways to approach the topic that don’t appear inappropriate, in particular to a Christian parent, whose views on parenting are typically far more sheltering than others’ might be.
But allowing one’s self to be martyred for your beliefs — such as the early Christians during the Roman persecutions — seems to guarantee you an express ticket. So what’s the difference between killing yourself and waiting patiently in line while someone else kills you?
Martyrdom is Dying For The Faith. “They’re killing me because my God scares them. By dying in the name of my faith, I glorify God.”
Suicide, to religious Christians, is often seen as a rejection of God. “God has a plan for us all, and suicide is taking the wheel out of His hands. You might as well be pissing on His plan.”
In Catholicism, which most Christian denominations descended from at some point, there was also the fact that it was the only sin of which you could NOT absolve yourself in confession. If you violate the commandment “thou shalt not kill” by killing someone ELSE, that was bad, but you could go to confession and ask Jesus to take your sins away and it’d be cool. If you violated the commandment by killing YOURSELF, historically it was assumed that you went to the afterlife with the sin of murder on your soul with no chance to cleanse or atone.
I think current catholic doctrine has softened the stance and holds that suicides are often in a mental state that prevents them from being wholly responsible for their actions at the time, and Jesus totally gets that and takes it into account.
They didn’t let Joyce ride her bike around the block until she was 16. Yes, Carol might have felt that suicide required more maturity than Joyce had / has. Still a shitty and wrong thing to do.
Maybe that’s why Joyce all this while ago, said that “Dads fix everything”, or words to that effect. With Hank being the way he is she’d imagine that’s what a father is like.
Joyce has spent her life trusting her elders, up until very recently. She’s never had reason to doubt that Bonnie died of cancer, and it’s probably not a subject that she brought up with Becky. It only happened a year or so ago, she’s probably avoided the subject with her up until now.
I see the connection, not yet understanding the reaction. Some people in Becky’s situation might consider facing this again as traumatic. Might run away, instead of towards it.
Her reaction makes sense if you take it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t want such a thing to happen again and has a stronger desire to prevent it happening again – the desire to avoid facing trauma having lost the battle in this instance.
But we have yet to meet its final form so we know this isn’t the final boss battle, and that one day, the desire to avoid facing trauma will return with like, 8 more swords and 90000 more HP than anyone else in the battle.
This. Some people see something traumatic they went through and go running because it’s too much and they don’t have the spoons. Others feel the need to go running straight to it and try and stop it because they don’t feel they can go through watching it all happen to someone else.
The same person may do both of these at one time or another.
This. I’ve been known to run toward stuff I know for damn sure is going to be traumatic, even stuff that calls up memories of previous trauma. More than once I’ve been first on scene at a bad accident – three car accidents and two big workplace accidents (I work in a hazardous field where stuff can literally blow up in your face if you fuck up). I know what I’m gonna see when I go to a mangled car or when I run toward a laboratory explosion is not going to be pretty, but I can’t not go – I’m a trained first aider and have been for 16 years, and until there are firefighters or EMS or police on site, I am probably the best trained person there. Which to me means I’ve got a duty to respond, and if I didn’t respond, I would feel godawful about it. But it’s not even that – it’s more that I’m in the act of helping before I even fully register what’s happening. Some people’s first reaction on a loud bang and screaming is freeze, some is run, mine is “I have to help.” It’s not a thing of bravery (brave people to me are folks like firefighters who have enough time to fully register how dangerous a situation is and fully feel the anxiety and then go into it anyway – I’m not brave, I just have a weird reaction to adrenaline).
For me, if I hear an explosion, I still mentally see the blood on the ground from the time I responded to a workplace explosion and someone had some bad shrapnel wounds… and yet, I’ll be running towards it. And in all honesty, if you’re the sort that has to respond to that sort of thing, you don’t even think about the trauma, you figure out there’s an emergency, and then you’re running towards it, already in action before your brain fully registers what’s going on. You aren’t thinking, you’re reacting on instinct – it’s just that at the instinctual level, you’re a helper.
I think Becky’s that way – helping in this sort of emergency, at least, is less a decision for her and more of a gut reaction – she’s helping before she’s fully absorbed the situation and is able to make a conscious decision on what to do. Becky’s like me – she’s not brave, but she is an instinctive helper. Joyce is an instinctive freezer (when Ryan first exposed himself, and when Toedad held the gun on her, she froze in both cases), but once she was able to process and react, she took action despite being terrified. I’m not brave because I’m acting before I process my terror (Becky likewise I think) – Joyce is brave because she acts while terrified.
That all seems really likely. Becky’s first move is definitely always to make a decision she feels will help or to run, she’s a helper or a fleer when trauma hits. And that seems backed up in her interactions and in her interactions with Toedad in specific. Also, her response to hearing about Joyce’s sexual assault and drugging was to immediately try and figure out something to help (in the form of the dorm party).
And this case involves someone getting the care and treatment that her mom didn’t. This is the happier ending that she didn’t get. See someone else survive and know that it didn’t have to end that way for her mom. That the people who hurt her so badly as a teen also could have saved her mom and didn’t. She doesn’t have enough birds to flip them.
Plus, Becky desperately wants liking girls to not be a suicide pact, a trope she has been fed. What’s wrong with Ruth is depression, which she can get treated. No one thinks she needs treatment for liking girls. That must be like escaping prison for her.
A trope she has been extra fed, because communities like hers love to fixate on queer suicide rates as proof that our lifestyles are inherently unhealthy. So yeah, definitely agree on both of those paragraphs.
…I… kinda want to see Becky and Dina costumed as Harley Quinn and the Joker…
A jester’s cap would be great on Becky, and if anyone can grin like Harley it’s her. And green is very much Dina’s color.
I hope three things: 1, Leslie is there (a, of all the adults we’ve seen so far, Leslie is the one who is best-equipped to help Ruth at this point because she’s been through similar, and b, of all the adults we’ve seen so far, Leslie is best-equipped to help Becky because likewise, and c, this would make for a good way for Leslie to meet Becky and clue in because Leslie is smart and observant and much looker than most grown-ups in the comic). 2, Leslie meets Becky. 3, Becky can bond with Carla, Ruth and Billie and enhance her social circle and support group while providing needed support to others – Becky strikes me as being like Joyce in that she’s a helper, but unlike Joyce in that she’s experienced to know that not all things can be fixed right away so she doesn’t try to be a fixer – she just helps where and how she can. And helping makes her feel better – so I think it’d be good for her to make other queer lady friends who get what she’s dealing with and who she can support and be supported by.
I think Chloe is on the spot. She’s the RM and all this falls within her duties. She’s went with Ruth and will be asking questions of the students (she was the last time we saw her). They’ll tell her about Becky. She’ll have the campus and city resources at hand. Chloe seems motivated and has the skills to just sort out all this dumbing about. Lots of experience dealing with teens being teens. Seen more than one kid come out while in college and get cut off by their family.
Love Leslie, but a prof wandering around the mental heath center? Though it’s possible that Leslie will be one of the resources Chloe send Becky to.
If Leslie is like a lot of the folks in my city who’s been through the wringer after coming out, she’s probably involved in a crisis outreach organization for LGBT youth – I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s a coordinator for it or something like that in her spare time. A lot of crisis intervention centers get social workers and aid organizations if they think the person’s mental health crisis has something or a lot to do with their personal situation – Ruth’s dependence on “Sir” certainly fits the bill. If they figure out that Ruth’s dependent on an abusive jerk and can’t cut ties as a result, they’d call in social work and local aid organizations, which may get Leslie involved if she’s part of one of them in her spare time.
Admittedly, I am making a leap here, but from the folks I know, it’s not that big of one. A lot of folks who’ve been helped by crisis organizations want to give back.
As someone pointed out, this means that Becky didn’t talk to her best friend about her mother’s suicide. Which probably means she has never talked about it to anyone at all.
Just another tank full of pain hidden behind her perky exterior.
And told her not to tell anyone because it would harm her mother and her family…
Ugh, no matter what, she was never able to talk it out with anyone who could actually help her process healthily. Just left all alone to handle it with a dad who became more and more convinced that his driving of his wife to suicide was proof that Satan was personally attacking his family and it was his job to become even more controlling in response.
Daniel here. Combine that with the Jesus-based-religion belief that suicide is a sin (not that it’s a good thing at all, sin or not), & someone who “thinks” they’re doing the right thing COULD do a LOT of damage…
Toedad probably ordered Becky to never talk to anyone about it.
Maybe so nobody would question why her mom did it.
Becky may almost explode when those feelings are finally released.
Joyce and her friends, who from now on well be referred to as the Danny Resurrection Squad or DRS, arrive in La Porte. (They took the bus)
Joyce: Home sweet home.
Becky: Right.
Joyce: We should break into partners.
Dorothy, you go with Walky.
Ethan, go with Amber
And Me, Becky, and Dina well all go together.
Dorothy: Why are we here?
Joyce: Somewhere in La Porte, there may be a man, that knows something about bringing back the dead. Dorothy, Amber I want you to start gathering clues. Me, Becky and Dina have other matters to attend to.
Dorothy: Got it, C’mon Walky!
They separate and Dorothy and Walky begin to walk into town.
Walky: Hope your journalism club comes in handy.
Dorothy: You don’t know how much it will.
Dorothy hands a card to Walky.
Dorothy: This is a Journalism card, it allows me into places most people can’t go.
Walky: That’s good.
Dorothy: Joyce gave me a copy of her card.
Walky: Does it have a phone number or address?
Dorothy: No, it’s just says La Porte on one side and has a line graph on the other side.
Walky: So whoever made the card likes graphs…
Dorothy: Or charts…
Walky: Well…I’ve got nothing!
Dorothy spies someone out of the corner of her eye and pulls Walky into an alleyway.
Walky: What gives!
Dorothy: SHHHH
Dorothy and Walky lean out to see Mary, talking on a cellphone.
Walky: What is she doing here.
Dorothy: I don’t know, but this could mean trouble.
Walky: Crap, she’s coming this way!
Dorothy: Just keep quiet and hope she passes by.
Mary eventually passes by.
Walky and Dorothy: Phew.
They walk out of the alley.
Walky: Why is she here?
Dorothy: I don’t know, we should call Joyce…
A man jumps down from a building and lands in front of them.
Dorothy: Your…your…
John Brown: I was hoping for my sister. But you two will do nicely.
Walky begins to power up.
Walky: You seem to know this guy, can we take him.
Dorothy: Joyce told me about him, could you take her.
“I never told you what happened to Becky’s mother.”
“You told me enough! You told me cancer killed her!”
“No, Joyce. Toedad killed her mother.”
“No! That’s not true! That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”
“NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!”
“Joyce, you can destroy Ross. He has forseen this. It is your destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule Indiana as father and daughter! Come with me. It is the only way.”
“It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… sister. So, you have a sister.”
Did Hank suddenly remember that time he traveled back in time to when he was in high school and he didn’t bother to tell Bonnie she would get cancer? Because seeing the word ‘cancer’ in a David Willis comic naturally made me think of Funky Winkerbean in all its majestic terribleness.
(Funky Cancercaner was over 9 years ago, I’m so old.)
Calvin and Hobbes was there to balance that (Funky) out. Q: Where are Miz Possum, Albert, Pogo and The Loan Arranger when you need them? A: Lost in the dim mists of time.
“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
There’s a lot we still don’t know, but damn. My nice, rosy glasses make me so want the “It was cancer” line to not reflect negatively on Ross, but the realist in me who’s been paying attention sure doesn’t like the way Ross’s looking in that mirror. Some people just don’t want to admit a loved one committed suicide for reasons beyond being a controlling asshole. It’s a social issue. Even if people know what “really” happened it isn’t talked about. Somehow, though, I doubt that’s what happened here.
There’s a tiny suspicion that this may have been a lie of omission from Hank’s reaction. The truth was clearly known, after all. And saying “She was diagnosed with cancer” might be true, though not what landed her in the hospital. Joyce’s shown to be naive enough to not pick up on any context or hints and I can fully understand Becky not clarifying. (Full disclosure: One of my great-aunts committed suicide when her cancer progressed too far. According to Mom, no one in the family condemned her for it.)
And poor Sarah’s picked up enough context to figure out what Hank’s talking about. Here’s hoping she’s not the one who has to break the news to Joyce.
There have been at least three people recently, all of which received a lot of coverage in the media, of younger people who decided to end their own lives (Brittany Maynard, as an example, or 14-year-old Jerika Bolen) because they were diagnosed with a terminal disease and wanted to die on their own terms rather than struggle through life as cancer, ALS, or some other degenerative condition ravaged them. It might be that Bonnie also opted for this, and Toedad had nothing to do with pushing her over the edge.
There’s room for MORE negative reflection on Ross?
I think, after we’ve seen his interaction with Becky in the car and heard Hank’s opinion of him, the picture there is pretty clear… there was no cancer.
In theory, suicide is often considered shameful, especially in strict Christian groups like theirs, so it’s possible Ross was covering it up for that reason, not for anything more personal – like abuse pushing her to it.
OTOH, we know Ross and I wouldn’t bet on it.
Some of you may be expecting me to do a Grav Roulette Review for Galasso.
FOOLS!
Galasso is not subject to Reltzik’s puny Grav Roulette Reviews! Rather, the Grav Roulette Review is subject to Galasso, and shall kneel and swear fealty to him within fifteen minutes or its pizza is free of discount!
Okay, seriously. There’s not much to say. Galasso is a clownish buffoon and always has been. He’s overblown, over-the-top comedy relief, obviously megalomaniacal, deeply ignorant, ambitious but with no clue of how to achieve those ambitions, prone to loud outbursts of nonsense, tyrannical in nature, a terror to anyone he has power over, is completely confused about the proper relationship between the genders, and he has something weird going on with his hair.
…..
…. yes, I’m thinking it too. Fanart of him debating Trump?
I worry about Joyce learning the truth about that on top of everything else she’s got going on right now. Just piling more on to her shattered worldview. :/
She’s learning her parents fight, her parents tell her white lies about major life events, and even that her church is a toxic pit. It’s like Christmas morning but 9/10ths of the presents are just carefully wrapped piles of feces.
We’re in a Willis comic. Do you really think any of those boxes have hope in them? And if they do, then that’s just a sign that the house is about to catch fire.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if Becky’s mom really did have cancer, and decided to end it her own way? Wouldn’t surprise me if Toedad would’ve forbade her to seek treatment that wasn’t all natural and self healing. Or maybe she was depressed because of cancer.
When did this woman die?? This is super interesting
And per Screwball, Toedad confirmed that the mother died within the past year. And it’s hinted here that the discovery of the body was not in time to stop her dying from complications from it in the hospital. So, this has probably all been the year from Hell for Becky and having been through one of those, she has ALL of my sympathies for somehow getting through that in relatively one piece.
Also, I do not envy how many PTSD scars she must be carrying at this point given how many I’ve been unburying in the last couple of years from my year of hell.
For the timeline, we also know that Becky “accidentally” got superglue in her hair “last summer.” That places the haircut after the “Ghosts” strip, where she had longer hair when she found her mom.
So assuming the shown attempt WAS the attempt that took Bonnie’s life, that pushes her death back a bit, making it close to a year and a half ago, from the current strip.
A year and a half of dealing with this all alone… 🙁 Becky 🙁
I interpreted “last summer” as simply meaning the summer holiday before starting college. Granted, I do not know if their home schooling group tended to take a whole summer off, but they probably took at least some of it off.
And I know that when I was a kid, as soon as a new school year started, the summer that had just passed was “last summer”
where Becky’s ghost is shown with short hair, and her and Ross are posed in a scene that seems like it was shortly after her mother’s death. Granted, that’s just my reading of it. It’s totally possible that those ghosts are just from a random moment not long before the girls went off to college. Buuut unless Willis comes in with concrete answer or someone remembers something else, it’s pure speculation either way.
Oof, poor Becky indeed. For reasons I have shared on this site before, a year-and-a-half of suffering and bad things hitting from every side at once and suffering alone resonates really strongly for me.
I’m really hoping that Becky is more or less out of the woods now and can begin the years long process of recovering from all of it.
Yet the warning did say ‘attempted’. Wouldn’t death from said attempt make it no longer that? And if so, and the cause is eh, maybe hide this, who found her for the successful time? Or have I missed a plot point?
Panel 1: … and there it is. Yeah, this must be incredibly triggering for Becky. But I’m also really proud of Hank here. He’s not freaking out about all the Women-loving-women. He’s instead focusing specifically on Becky and her emotional needs. And that’s a big step, because so far he’s been “tolerant” and trying to do right by Becky but still feeling awkward owing to her sexuality. But here, for the first time, he focuses on how Becky is feeling and what she probably emotionally needs. And that leads directly into his moment of awesome at Panel 5.
And confirmation that Billie also is important to her from all she has done for Becky. And probably also confirmation that Becky probably interpreted her kindness in hindsight as the gifts of a person planning to kill themselves, which may raise additional painful memories as from Becky’s flashbacks, Becky’s mom seems like the type of person who’d try and give her daughter one last good day before going through with a suicide plan.
Panel 2: Oh, man, I feel for Hank here. He really was not expecting Joyce to not know and might be realizing that this has meant that Becky in one of the worst months in her life, didn’t even reach out to her best friend and may in fact have been prevented from reaching out to her best friend about having discovered her mom’s suicide attempt.
And this all occurring this year means that this year has altogether been by far the worst one of her life and it’s remarkable how she’s managed to push through it all and survive.
Also, fuck cultures like those that like to hide the bodies created by their repressive toxic viewpoints. Because things like mental illness, abuse, rape, and suicide are stuff that happens to “sinners” and that’s true so long as you hide every time it happens to one of your own by leaning heavily on the victim to forgive their attacker or on their family to remain silent about the incident to “hide the shame”.
Yeah, Hank is slowly understanding just how much they have fucked up their daughters. How badly they have prepared them to deal with life.
I think it starts to hit home for him that if Joyce had just been a tad more obedient, a tad more inclined to do what she’s told rather than what is Right, she would have called ToeDad when Becky first showed up with all the horror THAT entails.
And if she had done that, Hank would have shared part of the blame.
Also, can you imagine the AU where Joyce was just a little more obedient and had decided to call Toedad or tell her mom the truth so she could tell Toedad. Where Becky ran to that fountain but Joyce was just like “no, I told him, this will be good for you, fathers know best”, where she was in that car with nowhere to run back to and no memory of support left to turn to, having been betrayed by her closest friend and the woman she first fell in love with…
And then you realize that’s a reality for a lot of queer girls in that culture.
Panel 3: Oh fuck… So, Becky found her mom, but too late and her mom died later in the hospital, maybe even after a few days suffering, from complications from the pills because pills can be horrible that way, leaving long-lasting damage if the person isn’t found fast enough and the stomach isn’t pumped fast enough.
No wonder Becky is sprinting away, she’s been there, discovering the body too late and wants to make sure that hasn’t happened again.
Oh fuck, I wonder if that’s also part of the reason Carla intervened so quickly and aggressively. If she lost an online trans friend to suicide before she could intervene or realize it was depression and was not about to let the same thing happen even if it meant outing Ruth and Billie.
And so many middle fingers to whatever combination of Toedad and Church leaders decided on “cancer” as a euphemism for suicide.
Panel 4: Okay, I’m actually trying to suss this one out because their hands are still clasped together so they didn’t split off. We know that Becky ran straight for the room, which is confirmation that she thought that they were mid suicide attempt and was determined not to be too late this time. But it’s Dina who notes where they actually were. So was Becky like running around between Ruth or Billie’s rooms looking for them while Dina was politely asking Carla or Grace on the way? Or overheard someone saying something while Becky was hyper focused on getting there? Not fully sure of the logistics there.
Dina may have taken a moment to figure out what Becky was really trying to do, as she got dragged down the hall to Ruth’s room, then back. There’s probably also a bit of compression going on: It would probably make more sense for her to have revealed the health center bit when they reached Ruth’s room, but then you have to repeat it for Hank and you don’t get the nice instant reaction from him.
So yeah, second interpretation of Panel 4 was Becky was running around and it’s only now that Becky’s mentioned who she was specifically looking for and why which allowed her to tell her the information she knew about where they were.
It’s possible that she both had cancer and committed suicide, and the grown ups just left out the suicide part. Depending on the cancer, it could have been a choice between dying and going through the agony of treatment in order to die just a bit later.
If I’m right, I’m also suspecting that her husband quoted the book of Job a lot around her. Because, you know, a monster.
I think the metaphysical interpretation of cancer might apply itself to having a negative viewpoint on mental illness, so it being used in this nature fits, for me at least.
Panel 5: This, right here, is Hank’s crowning moment of awesome. Like, yes, he’s been really fantastic in a lot of ways this weekend, but this right here is a momentous occasion. Like, for the first time, this is Hank treating Becky like a full person, like the kid who’s been his daughter’s best friend, and with genuine concern and forethought to her mental state and freely offering her something directly. Not just including her in something pre-occurring.
And that’s a big shift, because previously he had made it to tolerant. He had made it to sympathy, but here he is fully including her into the family and doing right by her and her mental state and valuing that rather than excusing her lesbianism because of it.
It’s a touching dad moment and you see it in Becky’s face. Her rictus smile mask drops a bit and those eyes are full of emotion, like she’s about the cry for receiving this. It’s the humanity she’s needed and a sign that Joyce, Jocelyne, Becky, and Hank might just be able to make a nice little family unit for each other when all this is over.
Panel 6: Oh Sarah… Becky is not the only one who needs to learn how to express emotions.
But I can relate, a lot, it’s hard when you’ve gone through stuff or had emotions punished in one’s past to let yourself express them to others. The fear of what has been supercedes and it becomes easier to bury it all because it’s now habit. But it’s also not a habit either needs to keep carrying. Joyce is not going to punish Sarah for having emotions. Nor will she and Dina punish Becky for it. Both are free from the toxic family or toxic friendship that trained them out of wearing their hearts on their sleeves and I look forward to both being able to crawl out of that hole and show more of their hurt and worry and hope on the outside as well.
Hank musta heard about the Cool Dad ™ perks, and realized that’s what not only a good person, but a human being should be, which is who he wants to be. The right thing is not always the easiest thing to do, but every time you do it, it becomes easier, until you never think of it as not only being hard, but as ever as being hard.
“Did no one… shit, did I not tell you how Becky’s mom passed? Oh, man, I’d begun to realize that I raised you in a really toxically restrictive environment, but it’s really only hitting me now just how bad it was.
…Becky? Becky, are you okay? …Oh, right, I said ‘shit’ and now you’re hyperventilating.”
So, obviously that Becky’s mother attempted to commit suicide and apparently did enough damage to herself that it ultimately killed her is now confirmed. A lot of Becky’s manic persona starts to make sense now.
No, Hank. No one ever told Joyce, just like you didn’t. No one ever told her about all those little lies and half truths and omissions you used to keep up a facade, and as a result she thought the facade was the real thing.
Ouch, this strip summed up quite a lot of Joyce’s background.
And Panel five… FINALLY an adult steps up to be the adult Becky needs. This goes beyond the “yes Becky, always,” when he allowed her to be included in the family trip. This is him going out of his way to help HER. Not for Joyce’s sake but for Becky’s Not because he has to but because SHE needs it. And also a silent acknowledgement of “Yes, I know. Not again.”
Last panel translated from Sarah speak: “You are going to be OK, right? I can’t stand it if anything happens to you.”
All of this. And yeah, she has the same dropping of the mask and genuine emotion that she did when Jocelyne revealed herself to similarly be an adult family member to her. It’s a very key moment to Hank and I think he’s starting to put together the pieces of how much the culture of silence he’s fallen in with has been harming and restricting his kids and how damaging that has been.
And totally agree on the Sarah speak translation. I think she’s going to be going right back to anxiously looking out the window until they return and she can see where Joyce is emotionally.
The trip to Becky’s house to get her personal papers pretty much showed her mothers ‘ghost’ in a suicide scenario. I didn’t realize that was Becky’s first thought when she heard about Ruth and Billie.
Good on you Hank for helping Becky when she needs you. Glad you’re realizing how much you didn’t tell your kids the truth.
Ah Sarah, go along, you know you want to.
Knowing that Carol was fully aware of the suicide and that she treated Becky the way she did makes that whole arc even more toxic. That goes for the “pastors” at the church. I’m sure that they blame Becky for the suicide, rather than toedad. Hank is becoming more aware that his wife and amny of his friends are monsters. Ref- http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/monsters-2/ , but he is focused on helping Becky and doing the right thing.
Joyce isn’t the only cutie being broken here. I think they will both come through with their faith altered but intact.
Yep. And it’s a fair shout that most of the adults whispering about Becky’s queerness as if it was a hotter take than facing violence from her father or still holding the scars from her mother’s suicide also knew as well and didn’t care.
And that palpable air where it seems no one cares that something big went down, where all that matters is everyone is playing normal and acting like it’s no big deal and it’s on you the person with the least power to feel personally responsible for it and accept this additional abuse on top of it, is a headspace that really fucks with your self-esteem and sense of worth.
You start actually internalizing a lot of the shit, like oh, I guess that time I nearly got killed was my fault or being discriminated out of my job was a sign I should feel worse about my identity and try and hide it more.
And I suspect it’s the same for Becky, how much she’s had to beg for the barest strips of humanity from those in her life and how Carol and all the other folks back “home” were just happy to pile on to her misery and find new ways to blame her for all of it and bully her despite all they knew about what she’s suffered and how emotionally on-edge she is.
Fuck, Carol even saw the desperate Becky half-smile threatening to crack that shows when she’s super nervous and praying fervently for a happy end and decided to immediately launch on the offensive instead. Her actions were on a level of monstrous WAY above what any person should handle with as much dignity and grace as Becky had to.
Becky’s faith is quite fine. Joyce’s is probably going to go poof. She’s the most autobiographical, ESPECIALLY on matters of faith, and has repeated the same thing that killed Willis’ belief.
I dot understand why Becky was smiling in this comic and at the end of the last. It makes her seem like she’s taking the whole thing as a joke. I know she’s trying to hide her feelings but an ear-to-ear grin seems like a strange approach.
She’s not smiling. Her mouth is just wide open and the panel is zoomed far out. I understand why there was confusion on the last strip, but I thought the context of this one made it pretty clear how that expression is supposed to be read? It’s absolutely not a smile. The only time she smiles here is the awkward and nervous smile at Hank when he offers her a ride.
Hank is “smiling” too. He’s trying to support her and put her at ease because he knows what memories this brings up. Becky is happy someone knows and appreciates what she’s going through. She’s had very little of that from adults.
Becky smiles so that she can’t break out in desperate crying. She smiles as a defense mechanism, same as how her entire attitude is constructed to keep her from thinking too hard about all the horrible things that have happened to her.
He’s come a long way from his earlier “pray the atheism away” interactions in the comic. Though, having encountered individuals that have compared atheism to terrorism.. unfavorably.. it may just be his specific weakness of tolerance.
Carol I think shares something of a guilty secret with Toedad.
Quite what this secret is, I don’t know. But it may go some way to explain their outrageous and harmful behavior.
BTB, If Becky’s mother died of an overdose of paracetamol, it is likely she was fully aware when she was brought around in hospital. Her kidneys would have been failing but she would have been able to talk lucidly at least for a while. (Apols if this is a little brutal, I was brought up around hospitals etc.)
My theory goes like this: Carol is fed up with moving church to church, she finds a soul-mate in Toedad. His wife finds out, it’s the final straw, she commits suicide.
But Ruth and Billie’s issues don’t explain why everyone is gone. They weren’t well liked, so its not like the entire floor is going to be holding a vigil for them, so what’s going on?
That seems likely. Chloe after getting Ruth and Billie to safety would probably want to get the full story from everyone else as to what was going on and why that Mary lady was so insistent on “taking over the investigation herself”. So I would not be surprised if she was talking to them all in the common area or were having them all checked out by Health Services to have some post-crisis counseling about having discovered something like that as well as related to the gunman on campus.
Because this is shocking and surprising, and I think it would go like this: Rachel, Carla and Sal, maybe Roz, maybe someone else tag along because they feel like it’s their duty, and they are influential enough between all of them and everyone else is unsure enough how to react that they just follow their lead.
And those who didn’t would probably hole themselves up in their rooms like Sarah did.
Well, since Mary is also gone, I’m going to guess that the rest of the floor is busy constructing a stockade to put her in so they can then start throwing rotten fruit at her.
I keep nervously waiting for Mr. Brown to hit his max acceptance of change and new situations for the weekend and implode, but he keeps surprising me. At this point it seems like his attitude towards this stuff has been actually been progressing off panel for a long time. Probably longer than Joyce has been aware of, and it was just drowned out by Carol’s stubborn opinions.
Cultures are great at convincing good people that horrible things are good and innocent things are evil. But, if they are truly good people, then encountering them face-to-face will inspire them to change.
I don’t know if I count, since I’m attracted to both (but am more picky with men than women), but I voted for Mike just because he’s a dickhead and gets away with it, which means he’s charming enough to his peers to still be attractive as a friend, and that tends to boost peoples’ opinions of physical appeal as well. (Also, he’s pretty confident he could seduce either Ethan or Danny if he wanted to, so he knows he’s hot. XD)
What other terms are there? We desperately need terms for the concept, to avoid just assuming heteronormativity or having to constantly specify “straight women and gay men and bisexuals of all types, and homoromantic male aces and heteroromantic female aces.”
And, yes, I did make a mistake in saying “sexually attracted.” The -phile suffix is romantic, not sexual. It comes from philos, which meant a love between equals. The one for sexually attracted would be “eros,” which refers to what we call lust, and was actually looked down upon in Ancient Greece.
Still, if you have a better word for the concept. I’m game to use it.
The character design isn’t super titillating to me, (well, Amber and Billie, but I’m hella into curves), I don’t mean that as any kind of criticism of Willis’ artwork, I liken it to something like Archie or Peanuts, so I ended up going for personality mostly. My first pick was Danny. Dude just feels really alive and he tries so damn hard to make things right despite being in over his head, and he screws up and ruins things and gets back up and tries again, and also he’s finally silenced his gay panic and is taking control of his sexuality, so I’m super happy for him. Turns out character development is a kink for me. Who’da thunk?
Walky’s fun, but he’s also way too childish and I feel like I’d just get tired of being near him, and Ethan’s too vanilla despite his glorious manchest. Argue about toys more, dude!
Then I voted for Jacob because he’s a dense cut of beefcake and I’m weak, but also because I want to see more of him in the series (because now I ship him and Amber).
In the 2003 film LUTHER: A young man commits suicide and the villagers refuse to bury him in the cemetery. Martin Luther, who at the time is a Catholic priest, takes a shovel and digs the grave himself.
Check out the 1998 film “What Dreams May Come” starring Robin Williams, Annabella Sciorra, and Cuba Gooding Jr. (watch for Max von Sydow as the librarian). It’s visually beautiful but definitely not a comedy. It’s based on a 1978 novel by Richard Matheson and covers love, family, death, depression, suicide, and transition to the afterlife (Catholics will be impressed the gothic view of Purgatory).
My first Christian minister believed that the only unforgivable sin was to know and accept Jesus and then deny him. He also said that, for him, the worst part of hell would be the absence of God (darkness).
Life is a challenge. Take it or leave it . . . I love it.
My dad’s parents “died in their sleep” when I was a kid. I bought it for about two days until I got bothered by the coincidence and poked at it enough for mom to admit the truth. Though in their case it was “we’re old and everything hurts and it’s just going to keep breaking more”. The “cancer” side of things comes from my mom’s side of the family, and grandpa, mom my brother and I have all struggled with it to some extent.
Does it make me a bad person for being kinda mad at Becky for interrupting what seemed to be an in-comic confirmation on what in the blue hell happened to Bonnie? I’m kinda compulsed to know details, yet also aware, at least sometimes, when you can’t ask something. But I have trouble learning about ‘unsaid’ things. I need them said.
I feel kinda bad for her father. It seems like half the time he spends with her it’s damage control or filling her in on things that burst her bubble. Hang in there, Hank.
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man, fuck “cancer” =(
also cancer
Can I spoon with cancer, but with a fork?
Daniel here. Definitely agree.
I’m an Aquarius myself.
And by “cancer” we mean “Toedad” right? Though I could be jumping to conclusions here.
Her cause of death probably refers to suicide, but yeah, it should probably say “Toedad.”
Eh, as someone who’s struggled with “cancer”, it’s more than just Toedad. Yeah, Toedad’s don’t help, but “cancer” is also a disease that claims lives just like cancer does.
“Cancer” can be either situational or chronic (chemical) and is often a mixture of both. At least that’s what I’ve learned from having it as situational as a teenager and being married to someone for whom it’s chronic.
Hi Sarah !
Bye Sarah !
I really enjoy these nice long talks we have.
Good thing that you really don’t care about anyone so that you won’t get hurt again. Right?
Sarah: “oh god not hanging out isn’t a cure for feelings”
I guess what happened might be a form of “mental” cancer even if it isn’t a literal one.
I guess it might be true in a metaphorical sense, as long as it’s obfuscating the truth!
Eschew Obfuscation!
Embrace elucidation!
To protect the world from devastation!
I laughed so hard. Pokémon: The gift that keeps on giving.
Articulation involving maximized verbosity!
“What I told you was true… from a certain point of view.”
is it Toedad is a Cancer
Yes, his body mutated, causing him to lose his neck.
Go away, Obi-wan, we need hard and fast objective facts.
It was a rare toe-based cancer.
If there aren’t enough seats in the car, then Dina being superglued to Becky might become inconvenient. She’s going to have to run alongside the car while Becky has her arm out the window.
Hank and Joyce in the front, Becky and Dina in the back. No problem.
Besides, with all the kids in the Brown family, they’ve clearly got experience with packing people into a car.
Also, how red is Hank’s face going to be when he has to own up to lying about Becky’s mom?
Depends on how fussy he and Carol were to the kids about misleading but technically true statements and judicious omissions.
“Mr. MacIntyre told us it was cancer.”
People are acting like he intentionally lied, but idk? The whole “did no one ever tell you…?” sounds like he thought she knew. It was almost certainly Ross who told people it was cancer rather than owning up to it.
“My wife tried to kill herself because of the strictly defined life I am forcing upon my family”?
Yeah, don’t sound much like Toedad…
“Satan is taking my wife from me with a terrible wasting disease”
“So, cancer…?”
“…yes… let’s call it cancer.”
Toedad the cancer…
I am sure a Godly Christian man like him would have no truck with astrology.
Well he did say that Satan had taken his wife from him. His exact words i think.
“I had a cancer in me, so I cut it out. With a knife.
There may have been some collateral damage. I’m no surgeon.”
He may have assumed Becky told Joyce, since y’know, best friends and all, and she’s also the first person from their community that Becky came out to.
I’m pretty sure Toedad was very… insisitive as to what Becky was allowed to tell others about her mom’s passing.
Did we ever figure out how close Bonnie’s death was to when Becky and Joyce left La Porte? (For Anderson and Indiana University)
I ask, because when Joyce first arrived at university she tended to talk about Becky’s parents without any thinking that there was only one of them anymore. I mean, perhaps Willis had yet to develop Becky’s backstory enough to include the fact that Bonnie was dead.
But I also think that there is a fair chance that Bonnie died only just a small amount of time before they went off to college – And that Joyce had yet to actually process the fact that Becky had lost a parent. Or at least to process it enough to have it change her speech patterns.
So I’m guessing there wasn’t more than a month between when Bonnie died and when Joyce left home, and we all know Becky would have only had the dorm phone, no internet or mobile. By this theory of mine, if Becky and Joyce had still been in high school when it happened… The truth would have eventually (over a couple of months) been conveyed to her by Becky. (Maybe). But instead there wasn’t really enough time for a slow trickle – and once they saw each other again there were more pertinent matters (Becky coming out)\
Perhaps none of this is the case. I really do not know. I am not even sure if it matters.\
Toedad said it was last year, but that leaves a lot of potential time open depending on how he meant that.
Oh frack. Now I am wondering if the psuedo-logic in Bonnie’s head went something like “Becky will be gone and I will be all alone with him.”
Slartibeast: OUCH!!!!!!! Which would mean that from Becky’s perspective, the minute she starts preparing to leave for college her mother kills herself. I REALLY hope she doesn’t blame herself for it.
Slartibeast: Or: “She’s getting out. I don’t have to protect her anymore. I can let go.”
It might also mean that Bonnie’s absence was too soon to settle in, for Joyce. She may simply be too used to thinking of ‘Becky’s parents’ to remember that there’s only one, now. That kind of change in thinking can sometimes take years to settle in.
Slartibeast and thejeff-
Probably some combination of that.
Could also be that she was seeing signs that Becky was queer and if some people’s headcanons are correct that Becky’s mom was queer as well but buried it for the marriage, that that brought it all back up and she couldn’t stand to watch her daughter forced into the same life that destroyed her as would be happening in early college.
No matter what, all the 🙁 for Becky’s mom and what she must have suffered in silence no matter her reality.
Betting it was Carol who misinformed Joyce. Toedad is an unlikely source to pass anything personal onto a neighbor kid. Carol would have felt it her Christian duty to help cover up something so shameful. That she owed that to Toedad and Becky. Since the question was asked and answered, Joyce didn’t pursue it and Hank was probly unaware of the lie.
I think it was Becky. She’s the one who’s Joyce’s friend, she’s the one whose mom it was, and she’s the one who was most likely under strict orders from Toedad on how exactly to talk about it. Joyce’s parents were probably like “So did Becky tell you?…” and Joyce was like “Yeah…” and they never discussed details.
Yeah. A close friend of mine lost her mother identically to Becky; walked into her parents’ room to find something, found mom collapsed on the floor, lost her in the hospital later that day. But for years, she told everyone outside the family that her mom “got sick.” Even without a stifling fundie upbringing, feelings about suicide are complicated, shameful, and guilt-ridden for the people left in its wake.
I thought he already told her, judging by their faces when Becky comes back.
They’re petit, they can squeeze into one seat if Dina sits on Becky’s lap.
It’s called a lap.
They’re gonna make her run laps too? That’s just cruel.
Hank’s car is a 1995-2005 Chevy Blazer or GMC Jimmy. They’re designed to seat five people: two in the front and three across in the back. Even if Sarah went with them there would be enough room.
Fun fact: according to Wikipedia the ’95 Blazer was named Truck of the Year by both Motor Trend and Playboy. It’s unclear if either of these publications influenced his buying decision.
Blazer is the every-person SUV, available in everything from bare-bones basic to tricked-out. If you live in the Midwest and go a day without seeing a dozen, it’s because you haven’t gone outside yet.
Like smarty-cars in hippy-dippy cities?
I dated a girl once who drove a GMC Jimmy…she kept a small mattress in the back…you know, for emergencies 😉
She’ll just flap around helplessly like a paper bag as Becky holds her outside the car.
Ohhh, ouch. Deliberate overdose?
Um, best to follow the link & read the warnings yourself…
How did I miss that strip? I saw the one before it and the one after it, but not that one.
Blacked it out? I think a fair size chunk of the readers may of come at that’s comic tangentially.
Sarah-who-does-not-care-really
She’s just trying to study…
So Joyce got pretty much all of her good qualities from her dad, huh?
Yeah, I’m really beginning to like, admire, respect, etc. Hank.
Thanks, Willis – the characters you create are deep, complex and really human. As hard as it is, I’m finding I pity Toedad more than hate.
(But at least we’ve still got Mr. O’Malley to hate – as much as I understand his motivations, I still can’t condone them, and I honestly wouldn’t feel guilty about leaving him behind when evacuating a burning building…)
So, did she commit suicide because of her cancer?
I think the implication is there was no cancer.
I dunno. He didn’t say she never had cancer just that that’s not why she was hospitalized. Not every “traditional housewife” is miserable and longing for more out of life. Maybe she had ovarian cancer and was depressed she couldn’t have a big family. Tho I’m sure the toe didn’t help.
Yes, but not every traditional housewife is married to someone like Ross. He may have been abusive.
We saw him use physical violence against Becky when he thought there were no witnesses. That was probably his MO with Bonnie as well.
She almost certainly committed suicide because of Ross. I’m not sure she even really *had* cancer.
I’m sure “cancer” was a story they told Joyce because they didn’t want to talk about suicide. That sort of talk might lead to doubt and thinking, after all.
I’m sure cancer is what everyone else was told publicly, whether they believed it or not. When that kind of thing g happens in a community like that, there’s often a lot of keeping up appearances, even if everyone knows exactly what’s going on.
A friend of mine killed herself. Cancer was actually the cover story put around at the time. It was largely a question of her husband and other close loved ones wanting to just grieve without all the speculation and awkwardness that would have been caused by the larger community knowing the truth right away.
It’s “unseemly” for “good Christian wives” to be depressed or want to kill themselves. Depression and suicide is something that happens to “godless heathen types” and someone who is “saved” has the love of Jesus in their life and so could never have want of anything or have any pain that should end in such a sinful “disgrace” for her family.
So, everyone will be super kind and refer to it as cancer and reinforce the myth. Oh, yes, terrible tragedy, struck so young, God has plans for us all, donchaknow.
Bury it, hide it away, let no one talk openly about the truth even if all the adults know and gossip amongst themselves.
“Cancer” is the new “consumption.”
Aw shit, I just realized something about “consumption” as a catch-all term for things. Basically, it would be a really easy way to hide a wife murdered by abuse, because all you’d have to do is make a reference to all the blood and people would just assume that they succumbed to consumption rather than were beaten to death.
Daniel here. Grew up “Roman Catholic”. Suicide is classified as a sin in Jesus-based religions as far as I can tell. So for Mr “THIS is how a family MUST BE!” Toedad, your Wife killing herself would most likely result in 1 of 2 responces;
—drag her name through the mud left after moving a latrine – “She turned to the Devil” “the Devil cursed her actions” “I tried taking pity on her, but she fell to the Devil anyway” “She is DAMNED to HELL now, the #$%^$” etc…
—make up some story to cover the event, so YOU don’t appear to have failed somehow…
Toedad seems to have gone with option 2, with the only hint of option 1 being “Satan took your Mother from me,…” while kidnapping Becky with a rifle…
That last point. Wow.
Yes, there’s a whole anti-mythos around suicide in Christian culture. In the UK, suicide was illegal up until the 60s, neither could they be buried in consecrated ground. In fact they still shouldn’t.
What I hadn’t realised, until I looked it up was that in England suicides were buried at a crossroads, desecrated.
As an aside, Carol uses that form of words – “I would die for you” – to Joyce in one of her phone-calls.
I’m 90% certain Carol meant “I would heroically shield yourself for danger and die by doing so, thus earning my place in Heaven” or something along those lines, not killing herself.
Much like Toedad meant “I would heroically die in a hail of police gunfire trying to save your soul from hell for being a lesbian, thus earning my place in Heaven.”
” In the UK, suicide was illegal up until the 60s,”
So.. it’s legal now, you mean? Because that sounds odd, I wasn’t aware of a “1st world” country were suicide was legal, it’s certainly not legal in Norway.
And, if it was legal, why do Brits keep travelling abroad to perform assisted suicides ?
I think the word illegal is meant to imply that up until the 60s, if your suicide attempt was failed, you’d be facing a prison sentence, not therapy. That sounds a little too stupid to be true though, so I hope I’m mistaken.
No, you are not mistaken.
If you tried to kill yourself and failed and were brought to police attention, you’d be prosecuted.
Suicide is when someone kills themselves without the help of someone else.
Assisted suicide is a different kettle of fish, because you are not really in a position to do it yourself, so someone else actually kills you. And that falls under the definition of manslaughter at least, if there is no law allowing it it special circumstances.
So are people in Norway prosecuted when they try to kill themselves?
Unforgivable sin and all that. Though not sure on this particular view on it, but based on what I’ve seen of them, it seems about right.
I’m with some of the others, when Becky started getting ready for college, her mother figured she was old enough to make it on her own and didn’t want to be left alone with ToeDad, and committed suicide.
Darnit Willis stop givine me Sarah feels.
I hope Joyce eventually decides to do nice things for Sarah.
I suddenly understand why Hank said he wanted to punch Ross MacIntyre. If he knew this whole time what happened…
Woah, yeah now that i think about it, it does add up
Hank is just making me really happy all around. I have never wanted to hug another man so much in my life.
I feel like in yesterday’s strip Hank might have still been a bit off put by Dina being Becky’s girlfriend since he had let it slip his mind it seems like something easier to forget.
But today, today any chance that Hank was going to be a little bit uncomfortable with Becky has pretty much disappeared. He’s in dad mode now, and I sincerely believe he is ready to do whatever he needs help Becky deal with this situation.
Between Church and this it’s been a hell of a day for Hank watching shit roll down on Becky. Some might say his heart grew three sizes, but that would probably involve underestimating the default size of his heart.
Seriously, he is going to dad the crap out of this situation
CHURCH DAD DADS YOU
Every time Toedad blamed the suicide on “Satan” Hank must have been biting his lip so hard.
Or Toedad didn’t talk about it near Hank. They weren’t close. Toedad seems like a model of a closed loop. One of those self-reinforcing echo chambers.
If Toedad talked about it near Carol, she would have approved.
And it all would have gone completely over Joyce’s head.
Sarah’s nonintervention pact isn’t really working out the way she hoped, is it?
Sarah is dealing with the problem she never expected to encounter: people who support one another and actually try to help those in need. It seems alien to her worldview where good actions are met with scorn and derision.
This is one of those cases where a good starship captain would disregard Starfleet policy.
Ah yes, the old, “We don’t want to explain this to our child, so we’ll make up a plausible-sounding lie” gambit.
Shut up! My dog does so live on a farm upstate! He’d only be 25, that’s totally possible with all that fresh country air!
Daisy: Colin’s gone.
Tim: What?
Daisy: He went next door.
Tim: Oh, Daisy, I’m so sorry. How did it happen?
Daisy: …He walked.
Tim: Right, right, sorry. See, my mum used to use “going next door” as a euphemism for being dead.
Mike: Whoa, hold on, does that mean my rabbit’s dead?
Tim: It’s been eighteen years, Mike, where did you think he was?
Mike: Next door!
Ah… Spaced. Great show. And great pull, there, Carolyn.
I’m pretty sure Hank and Carol never even said the reason. Ross likely lied about it because he didn’t want to own up to it.
Unless that’s what Toedad told everyone who wasn’t a close family friend or their… Reverend? Which is what I’m pretty sure happened here.
A lot of religions with afterlife creeds have to have exemption clauses for suicide to prevent people from killing themselves the first time something bad happens in their life so they can take the fast track to heaven.
This complicates things when otherwise good people break the contract by killing themselves. It either means you have to tell children that the dogma is wrong, or that their friends mother who was a wonderful person is now and forever going to sit in hell.
I don’t respect people lying like this about suicide/depression/mental health. But most of them don’t know better and they’re all caught up in some pretty shitty rules.
Eh, it’s a bit simpler than that in that suicide is considered a form of murder. However, it’s largely viewed as an act committed out of mental illness now by almost all churches.
Maybe Mrs. MacIntyre died of overtoesage.
Whoa, dude. That’s too harsh. You’re tiptoeing over the line here.
Yeah he really stepped in it this time.
Talus all about it.
Now, don’t get cuticle.
Why is everyone replying with short oddly phrased sentences? Not sure what you guys are doing here but something is afoot.
Damn, looks like everyone’s putting their foot in their mouth here…
You’re all about to get socked.
There’s a sickness in their soles.
Guys, if you keep up with these puns things aren’t going tibia okay.
Nailed it.
I’m prone to cases of leather tongue.
Foot in the mouth.
I think you spelled that wrong. It’s actually “overd–”
Oh.
Never Mind!!
Yeah, thought that at first.
Nailed it.
Well that’s a relief. Hank really is the good parent.
Also…dang. Joyce really doesn’t know does she?
Well, I mean he did lie to his daughter about how her best friend’s mom died, basically because it made his life easier, so I don’t know if I’d call that a ‘good dad’ moment.
No, no I mean I was almost expecting him to hit the roof at the idea of an RA sleeping with one of the freshmen along with one or both of them apparently being suicidal. I suppose it was paranoia.
But here he’s just thinking of Becky and “oh gosh this must be hard for her.”
Does Hank even know that “Ruthless” is their RA? It’s not like Sarah specified. He probably just thinks it’s some other girl on the floor.
Oh that’s right.
Well then.
He drives away tonight thinking “yeesh, that floor is a mess…oh well, I’m sure their RA has everything under control…!”
lol probably
Yes, she’ll just pay on her femur xylophone while waiting for death…
Oh, wait…
A femur xylophone sounds like fun, but getting the right notes is so much work.
What worries me is what’ll happen when Joyce finds out how much Becky hid from her in regards to her mom.
What worries me is what’ll happen when Joyce finds out how much Becky hid from her in regards to her mom.
Ugh. Went to post once. Said I duplicated the first time I posted. Went to another avatar. Posted both. Grr.
Isn’t it wonderful how easy technology makes our lives?
Dunno. It looks a little like he thought she knew – i.e. he thought his wife had talked with her about what was going on. He’s finding things out here, too. I think Hank is still on the side of the angels on this one. At worst he allowed her to be lied to and didn’t check that she got the truth later on. More likely he didn’t know she was deceived.
He probably assumed the church gossip network would have let her know. Especially as that was probably how he found out himself.
I think he assumed Becky would have told her. And now he’s thinking, “if Becky told ANYONE, it would have been Joyce, so if she still doesn’t know…”
I can definitely see that. Which means he’s seeing for the first time just how stuck in herself Becky has had to be and what that hints for her home life where she couldn’t even take the risk of telling her best friend how her mom actually died.
Maybe he let Joyce’s Mother do the talking, girl to girl, since I’ve notice many men are good at that kinda thing, only for Mommy (that’s how Americans spell it, right?) to go with Cancer?
Mommy, mom, mama, ma… we’ve got a lot of diminutives for mother here in the States.
I mean, yes and no. It did “make his life easier,” but not in the lazy sense in which it sounds like you mean that. There are certain topics *most* parents are afraid to broach with their children (especially young children), suicide among them. There are few ways to approach the topic that don’t appear inappropriate, in particular to a Christian parent, whose views on parenting are typically far more sheltering than others’ might be.
Don’t forget, in most forms of Christianity suicide is a pretty big sin. Sometimes it’s an autoban from heaven.
But allowing one’s self to be martyred for your beliefs — such as the early Christians during the Roman persecutions — seems to guarantee you an express ticket. So what’s the difference between killing yourself and waiting patiently in line while someone else kills you?
Martyrdom is Dying For The Faith. “They’re killing me because my God scares them. By dying in the name of my faith, I glorify God.”
Suicide, to religious Christians, is often seen as a rejection of God. “God has a plan for us all, and suicide is taking the wheel out of His hands. You might as well be pissing on His plan.”
In Catholicism, which most Christian denominations descended from at some point, there was also the fact that it was the only sin of which you could NOT absolve yourself in confession. If you violate the commandment “thou shalt not kill” by killing someone ELSE, that was bad, but you could go to confession and ask Jesus to take your sins away and it’d be cool. If you violated the commandment by killing YOURSELF, historically it was assumed that you went to the afterlife with the sin of murder on your soul with no chance to cleanse or atone.
I think current catholic doctrine has softened the stance and holds that suicides are often in a mental state that prevents them from being wholly responsible for their actions at the time, and Jesus totally gets that and takes it into account.
They didn’t let Joyce ride her bike around the block until she was 16. Yes, Carol might have felt that suicide required more maturity than Joyce had / has. Still a shitty and wrong thing to do.
let’s just hope this book doesn’t end on a bad note. if it does, let it be really bad so that book 7 can be the start of the dawn.
Dreading the “End of Book” alt tag?
Speaking of books, does anybody know when the next book(s) are going to be in the store?
Maybe that’s why Joyce all this while ago, said that “Dads fix everything”, or words to that effect. With Hank being the way he is she’d imagine that’s what a father is like.
Joyce has spent her life trusting her elders, up until very recently. She’s never had reason to doubt that Bonnie died of cancer, and it’s probably not a subject that she brought up with Becky. It only happened a year or so ago, she’s probably avoided the subject with her up until now.
You’re a good man, Henry Brown
And Leroy Brown’s a bad man.
Not gonna lie. For a second I thought this was referencing Firewatch since the main character’s name is Henry and Delilah always calls him Hank.
I see the connection, not yet understanding the reaction. Some people in Becky’s situation might consider facing this again as traumatic. Might run away, instead of towards it.
We’ll see.
Her reaction makes sense if you take it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t want such a thing to happen again and has a stronger desire to prevent it happening again – the desire to avoid facing trauma having lost the battle in this instance.
But we have yet to meet its final form so we know this isn’t the final boss battle, and that one day, the desire to avoid facing trauma will return with like, 8 more swords and 90000 more HP than anyone else in the battle.
This. Some people see something traumatic they went through and go running because it’s too much and they don’t have the spoons. Others feel the need to go running straight to it and try and stop it because they don’t feel they can go through watching it all happen to someone else.
The same person may do both of these at one time or another.
This. I’ve been known to run toward stuff I know for damn sure is going to be traumatic, even stuff that calls up memories of previous trauma. More than once I’ve been first on scene at a bad accident – three car accidents and two big workplace accidents (I work in a hazardous field where stuff can literally blow up in your face if you fuck up). I know what I’m gonna see when I go to a mangled car or when I run toward a laboratory explosion is not going to be pretty, but I can’t not go – I’m a trained first aider and have been for 16 years, and until there are firefighters or EMS or police on site, I am probably the best trained person there. Which to me means I’ve got a duty to respond, and if I didn’t respond, I would feel godawful about it. But it’s not even that – it’s more that I’m in the act of helping before I even fully register what’s happening. Some people’s first reaction on a loud bang and screaming is freeze, some is run, mine is “I have to help.” It’s not a thing of bravery (brave people to me are folks like firefighters who have enough time to fully register how dangerous a situation is and fully feel the anxiety and then go into it anyway – I’m not brave, I just have a weird reaction to adrenaline).
For me, if I hear an explosion, I still mentally see the blood on the ground from the time I responded to a workplace explosion and someone had some bad shrapnel wounds… and yet, I’ll be running towards it. And in all honesty, if you’re the sort that has to respond to that sort of thing, you don’t even think about the trauma, you figure out there’s an emergency, and then you’re running towards it, already in action before your brain fully registers what’s going on. You aren’t thinking, you’re reacting on instinct – it’s just that at the instinctual level, you’re a helper.
I think Becky’s that way – helping in this sort of emergency, at least, is less a decision for her and more of a gut reaction – she’s helping before she’s fully absorbed the situation and is able to make a conscious decision on what to do. Becky’s like me – she’s not brave, but she is an instinctive helper. Joyce is an instinctive freezer (when Ryan first exposed himself, and when Toedad held the gun on her, she froze in both cases), but once she was able to process and react, she took action despite being terrified. I’m not brave because I’m acting before I process my terror (Becky likewise I think) – Joyce is brave because she acts while terrified.
That all seems really likely. Becky’s first move is definitely always to make a decision she feels will help or to run, she’s a helper or a fleer when trauma hits. And that seems backed up in her interactions and in her interactions with Toedad in specific. Also, her response to hearing about Joyce’s sexual assault and drugging was to immediately try and figure out something to help (in the form of the dorm party).
And this case involves someone getting the care and treatment that her mom didn’t. This is the happier ending that she didn’t get. See someone else survive and know that it didn’t have to end that way for her mom. That the people who hurt her so badly as a teen also could have saved her mom and didn’t. She doesn’t have enough birds to flip them.
Plus, Becky desperately wants liking girls to not be a suicide pact, a trope she has been fed. What’s wrong with Ruth is depression, which she can get treated. No one thinks she needs treatment for liking girls. That must be like escaping prison for her.
A trope she has been extra fed, because communities like hers love to fixate on queer suicide rates as proof that our lifestyles are inherently unhealthy. So yeah, definitely agree on both of those paragraphs.
I don’t think any of them will want to see the movie Suicide Squad.
…I… kinda want to see Becky and Dina costumed as Harley Quinn and the Joker…
A jester’s cap would be great on Becky, and if anyone can grin like Harley it’s her. And green is very much Dina’s color.
I’ll see your Joker-Dina and raise you an Ivy-Dina. Still green, too!
Totes!
*Sits back & waits for the inevitable fan-pic…*
“…These prehistoric plants are also inaccurately depicted.”
i raise ivysaur dina. A dinavysaur or an ivysaruyama if you will.
Hey, we clearly agreed to allow only real dinosaurs in… kidding, I love Pokémon
Becky and Dina as Harvey and Ivy. Fits them better
Dina’s way too small for Joker.
yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssss
Hank’s heart is in the right place thankfully.
Now guys, lets build a wall between DOA and Harambe. #dikzowt4harambe
And make Harambe pay for it?
Oh, we are in full Fun Becky Grin mode, I sense breaking point
So is Hank. Their eyes aren’t on-message, though
🙁
I hope three things: 1, Leslie is there (a, of all the adults we’ve seen so far, Leslie is the one who is best-equipped to help Ruth at this point because she’s been through similar, and b, of all the adults we’ve seen so far, Leslie is best-equipped to help Becky because likewise, and c, this would make for a good way for Leslie to meet Becky and clue in because Leslie is smart and observant and much looker than most grown-ups in the comic). 2, Leslie meets Becky. 3, Becky can bond with Carla, Ruth and Billie and enhance her social circle and support group while providing needed support to others – Becky strikes me as being like Joyce in that she’s a helper, but unlike Joyce in that she’s experienced to know that not all things can be fixed right away so she doesn’t try to be a fixer – she just helps where and how she can. And helping makes her feel better – so I think it’d be good for her to make other queer lady friends who get what she’s dealing with and who she can support and be supported by.
“Becky can bond with Carla, Ruth and Billie”
I’m not sure she has enough superglue for that.
They’ll have to borrow from Mary.
I think Chloe is on the spot. She’s the RM and all this falls within her duties. She’s went with Ruth and will be asking questions of the students (she was the last time we saw her). They’ll tell her about Becky. She’ll have the campus and city resources at hand. Chloe seems motivated and has the skills to just sort out all this dumbing about. Lots of experience dealing with teens being teens. Seen more than one kid come out while in college and get cut off by their family.
Love Leslie, but a prof wandering around the mental heath center? Though it’s possible that Leslie will be one of the resources Chloe send Becky to.
If Leslie is like a lot of the folks in my city who’s been through the wringer after coming out, she’s probably involved in a crisis outreach organization for LGBT youth – I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s a coordinator for it or something like that in her spare time. A lot of crisis intervention centers get social workers and aid organizations if they think the person’s mental health crisis has something or a lot to do with their personal situation – Ruth’s dependence on “Sir” certainly fits the bill. If they figure out that Ruth’s dependent on an abusive jerk and can’t cut ties as a result, they’d call in social work and local aid organizations, which may get Leslie involved if she’s part of one of them in her spare time.
Admittedly, I am making a leap here, but from the folks I know, it’s not that big of one. A lot of folks who’ve been helped by crisis organizations want to give back.
Sarah’s so awkward lmao
Oh shucks i wonder what will happen when joyce finds out what really happened to becky’s mom
I’m glad hank knows though
As someone pointed out, this means that Becky didn’t talk to her best friend about her mother’s suicide. Which probably means she has never talked about it to anyone at all.
Just another tank full of pain hidden behind her perky exterior.
Worse.
She probably had a conversation with Toedad about it.
Now it is occurring to me to wonder if Youth Pastor Powers tried to discuss it with Becky. I mean, that sort of thing is his job, right?
And told her not to tell anyone because it would harm her mother and her family…
Ugh, no matter what, she was never able to talk it out with anyone who could actually help her process healthily. Just left all alone to handle it with a dad who became more and more convinced that his driving of his wife to suicide was proof that Satan was personally attacking his family and it was his job to become even more controlling in response.
Daniel here. Combine that with the Jesus-based-religion belief that suicide is a sin (not that it’s a good thing at all, sin or not), & someone who “thinks” they’re doing the right thing COULD do a LOT of damage…
I heard a lot of bans went out while Ross was espousing that rhetoric.
Worse yet.
Toedad probably ordered Becky to never talk to anyone about it.
Maybe so nobody would question why her mom did it.
Becky may almost explode when those feelings are finally released.
Now I am picturing a UXB team trying to defuse Becky, only to find she isn’t compliant with the Mad Bomber Uniform Wiring Code.
What do you mean, “cut the red wire”, she’s got thousands of red wires! Oh, wait, that’s her hair.
Just keeping talking, we’ll get through this.
Becky may not have known. Or figured it out gradually.
And this sort of thing isn’t easy for some people to bring up or discuss.
She found her mom after one of her previous attempts. She knew.
I think she may have found her mom the attempt that her mom eventually succumbed to in the hospital.
Which… yeah… heavy.
Questing of Age
Joyce and her friends, who from now on well be referred to as the Danny Resurrection Squad or DRS, arrive in La Porte. (They took the bus)
Joyce: Home sweet home.
Becky: Right.
Joyce: We should break into partners.
Dorothy, you go with Walky.
Ethan, go with Amber
And Me, Becky, and Dina well all go together.
Dorothy: Why are we here?
Joyce: Somewhere in La Porte, there may be a man, that knows something about bringing back the dead. Dorothy, Amber I want you to start gathering clues. Me, Becky and Dina have other matters to attend to.
Dorothy: Got it, C’mon Walky!
They separate and Dorothy and Walky begin to walk into town.
Walky: Hope your journalism club comes in handy.
Dorothy: You don’t know how much it will.
Dorothy hands a card to Walky.
Dorothy: This is a Journalism card, it allows me into places most people can’t go.
Walky: That’s good.
Dorothy: Joyce gave me a copy of her card.
Walky: Does it have a phone number or address?
Dorothy: No, it’s just says La Porte on one side and has a line graph on the other side.
Walky: So whoever made the card likes graphs…
Dorothy: Or charts…
Walky: Well…I’ve got nothing!
Dorothy spies someone out of the corner of her eye and pulls Walky into an alleyway.
Walky: What gives!
Dorothy: SHHHH
Dorothy and Walky lean out to see Mary, talking on a cellphone.
Walky: What is she doing here.
Dorothy: I don’t know, but this could mean trouble.
Walky: Crap, she’s coming this way!
Dorothy: Just keep quiet and hope she passes by.
Mary eventually passes by.
Walky and Dorothy: Phew.
They walk out of the alley.
Walky: Why is she here?
Dorothy: I don’t know, we should call Joyce…
A man jumps down from a building and lands in front of them.
Dorothy: Your…your…
John Brown: I was hoping for my sister. But you two will do nicely.
Walky begins to power up.
Walky: You seem to know this guy, can we take him.
Dorothy: Joyce told me about him, could you take her.
Walky: nooo…
Dorothy: Then RUN!
Walky and Dorothy rush past John.
John: Ah, the thrill of the hunt.
Is there a blog or somewhere where these are archived? I’d love to try and catch up on the Questing storyline.
I’m honestly trying to figure that out, I’m open to suggestions.
best suggestion I can make right now is, just go back 2 strips and enter my name.
Also Sarah was there, (she wen’t with Amber and Ethan)
Beautiful.
“I never told you what happened to Becky’s mother.”
“You told me enough! You told me cancer killed her!”
“No, Joyce. Toedad killed her mother.”
“No! That’s not true! That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”
“NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!”
“Joyce, you can destroy Ross. He has forseen this. It is your destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule Indiana as father and daughter! Come with me. It is the only way.”
“It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… sister. So, you have a sister.”
“You have another sister. Your thoughts for her have betrayed her too…”
I see what you did there and I approve.
THANK FUCK I WAS RIGHT BECKY REALLY IS THE BEST
Dina is the best. Becky is a very close second.
Well duh. You don’t land awesome dinosaur chick girlfriends by half-assing it.
Gotta go whole-ass or go home!
Glad to see I’m not the only one who uses a similar phrase.
Did Hank suddenly remember that time he traveled back in time to when he was in high school and he didn’t bother to tell Bonnie she would get cancer? Because seeing the word ‘cancer’ in a David Willis comic naturally made me think of Funky Winkerbean in all its majestic terribleness.
(Funky Cancercaner was over 9 years ago, I’m so old.)
Why did you have to remind me of that plotline……
But it was all a dream. A slip-and-hit-your-head-on-the-floor dream.
Calvin and Hobbes was there to balance that (Funky) out. Q: Where are Miz Possum, Albert, Pogo and The Loan Arranger when you need them? A: Lost in the dim mists of time.
“We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
Well at least Becky still has a room, but Billie is likely to be back soon.
Alt-text: Sarah could just do a Dina impersonation and get accidentally kidnapped. “I am at the lake now. I am not sure how that happened.”
Sarah will study The Way Of The Dinosaur from Dina-sensei?
“Today you will learn how to bring terror to your enemies like a T-Rex.”
“Honey, it’s time you knew some important exposition…”
“Didn’t I teach you to always read the alt-text?”
“…And if that doesn’t help, Google the Wiki for it? They’re usually fan-edited, but they can help…”
There’s a lot we still don’t know, but damn. My nice, rosy glasses make me so want the “It was cancer” line to not reflect negatively on Ross, but the realist in me who’s been paying attention sure doesn’t like the way Ross’s looking in that mirror. Some people just don’t want to admit a loved one committed suicide for reasons beyond being a controlling asshole. It’s a social issue. Even if people know what “really” happened it isn’t talked about. Somehow, though, I doubt that’s what happened here.
There’s a tiny suspicion that this may have been a lie of omission from Hank’s reaction. The truth was clearly known, after all. And saying “She was diagnosed with cancer” might be true, though not what landed her in the hospital. Joyce’s shown to be naive enough to not pick up on any context or hints and I can fully understand Becky not clarifying. (Full disclosure: One of my great-aunts committed suicide when her cancer progressed too far. According to Mom, no one in the family condemned her for it.)
And poor Sarah’s picked up enough context to figure out what Hank’s talking about. Here’s hoping she’s not the one who has to break the news to Joyce.
There have been at least three people recently, all of which received a lot of coverage in the media, of younger people who decided to end their own lives (Brittany Maynard, as an example, or 14-year-old Jerika Bolen) because they were diagnosed with a terminal disease and wanted to die on their own terms rather than struggle through life as cancer, ALS, or some other degenerative condition ravaged them. It might be that Bonnie also opted for this, and Toedad had nothing to do with pushing her over the edge.
There’s room for MORE negative reflection on Ross?
I think, after we’ve seen his interaction with Becky in the car and heard Hank’s opinion of him, the picture there is pretty clear… there was no cancer.
Along with the “Satan took her” line.
In theory, suicide is often considered shameful, especially in strict Christian groups like theirs, so it’s possible Ross was covering it up for that reason, not for anything more personal – like abuse pushing her to it.
OTOH, we know Ross and I wouldn’t bet on it.
Some of you may be expecting me to do a Grav Roulette Review for Galasso.
FOOLS!
Galasso is not subject to Reltzik’s puny Grav Roulette Reviews! Rather, the Grav Roulette Review is subject to Galasso, and shall kneel and swear fealty to him within fifteen minutes or its pizza is free of discount!
Okay, seriously. There’s not much to say. Galasso is a clownish buffoon and always has been. He’s overblown, over-the-top comedy relief, obviously megalomaniacal, deeply ignorant, ambitious but with no clue of how to achieve those ambitions, prone to loud outbursts of nonsense, tyrannical in nature, a terror to anyone he has power over, is completely confused about the proper relationship between the genders, and he has something weird going on with his hair.
…..
…. yes, I’m thinking it too. Fanart of him debating Trump?
I think Trump would take him. You can’t win against a crazy person; they’ll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
There’s a difference between crazy and jackass. Remember, Galasso keeps sharks trained to be maneaters beneath his enterprises.
Yeah, Galasso at least understands long-term planning and subtlety.
I’d actually trust him to understand that nukes are deterrents rather than first-resort weapons.
“Never presume a man does not have
ninjasnukes at his disposal.”But…. isn’t Galasso also crazy?
Wait. Which one is the crazy person in this debate?
Yes.
Galasso’s the crazy one, Trump’s the violent moron.
I worry about Joyce learning the truth about that on top of everything else she’s got going on right now. Just piling more on to her shattered worldview. :/
She’s learning her parents fight, her parents tell her white lies about major life events, and even that her church is a toxic pit. It’s like Christmas morning but 9/10ths of the presents are just carefully wrapped piles of feces.
But will the last thing out of the box be Hope?
We’re in a Willis comic. Do you really think any of those boxes have hope in them? And if they do, then that’s just a sign that the house is about to catch fire.
People should know by now that hope is just an illussion in this comic. Were it to be real, there wouldn’t be enough place left for the angst.
No.~~~~
Joyce: “I just KNOW there’s a pony in here somewhere!”
Wouldn’t it be interesting if Becky’s mom really did have cancer, and decided to end it her own way? Wouldn’t surprise me if Toedad would’ve forbade her to seek treatment that wasn’t all natural and self healing. Or maybe she was depressed because of cancer.
When did this woman die?? This is super interesting
All we’ve got so far is “Since her Mother passed last year,…” about when she died, but there may be other little bits to help narrow it down elsewhere…
Flashback Becky discovering her mom looked very similar to first at college Becky:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/ghosts/
And per Screwball, Toedad confirmed that the mother died within the past year. And it’s hinted here that the discovery of the body was not in time to stop her dying from complications from it in the hospital. So, this has probably all been the year from Hell for Becky and having been through one of those, she has ALL of my sympathies for somehow getting through that in relatively one piece.
Also, I do not envy how many PTSD scars she must be carrying at this point given how many I’ve been unburying in the last couple of years from my year of hell.
For the timeline, we also know that Becky “accidentally” got superglue in her hair “last summer.” That places the haircut after the “Ghosts” strip, where she had longer hair when she found her mom.
So assuming the shown attempt WAS the attempt that took Bonnie’s life, that pushes her death back a bit, making it close to a year and a half ago, from the current strip.
A year and a half of dealing with this all alone… 🙁 Becky 🙁
I interpreted “last summer” as simply meaning the summer holiday before starting college. Granted, I do not know if their home schooling group tended to take a whole summer off, but they probably took at least some of it off.
And I know that when I was a kid, as soon as a new school year started, the summer that had just passed was “last summer”
Or at least that is how I’m remembering it…
Yeah, that is a totally possible interpretation. I actually did consider it. But I ultimately based my reading there on this strip:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/lasttime/
where Becky’s ghost is shown with short hair, and her and Ross are posed in a scene that seems like it was shortly after her mother’s death. Granted, that’s just my reading of it. It’s totally possible that those ghosts are just from a random moment not long before the girls went off to college. Buuut unless Willis comes in with concrete answer or someone remembers something else, it’s pure speculation either way.
Oof, poor Becky indeed. For reasons I have shared on this site before, a year-and-a-half of suffering and bad things hitting from every side at once and suffering alone resonates really strongly for me.
I’m really hoping that Becky is more or less out of the woods now and can begin the years long process of recovering from all of it.
Yet the warning did say ‘attempted’. Wouldn’t death from said attempt make it no longer that? And if so, and the cause is eh, maybe hide this, who found her for the successful time? Or have I missed a plot point?
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: … and there it is. Yeah, this must be incredibly triggering for Becky. But I’m also really proud of Hank here. He’s not freaking out about all the Women-loving-women. He’s instead focusing specifically on Becky and her emotional needs. And that’s a big step, because so far he’s been “tolerant” and trying to do right by Becky but still feeling awkward owing to her sexuality. But here, for the first time, he focuses on how Becky is feeling and what she probably emotionally needs. And that leads directly into his moment of awesome at Panel 5.
And confirmation that Billie also is important to her from all she has done for Becky. And probably also confirmation that Becky probably interpreted her kindness in hindsight as the gifts of a person planning to kill themselves, which may raise additional painful memories as from Becky’s flashbacks, Becky’s mom seems like the type of person who’d try and give her daughter one last good day before going through with a suicide plan.
Panel 2: Oh, man, I feel for Hank here. He really was not expecting Joyce to not know and might be realizing that this has meant that Becky in one of the worst months in her life, didn’t even reach out to her best friend and may in fact have been prevented from reaching out to her best friend about having discovered her mom’s suicide attempt.
And this all occurring this year means that this year has altogether been by far the worst one of her life and it’s remarkable how she’s managed to push through it all and survive.
Also, fuck cultures like those that like to hide the bodies created by their repressive toxic viewpoints. Because things like mental illness, abuse, rape, and suicide are stuff that happens to “sinners” and that’s true so long as you hide every time it happens to one of your own by leaning heavily on the victim to forgive their attacker or on their family to remain silent about the incident to “hide the shame”.
Yeah, Hank is slowly understanding just how much they have fucked up their daughters. How badly they have prepared them to deal with life.
I think it starts to hit home for him that if Joyce had just been a tad more obedient, a tad more inclined to do what she’s told rather than what is Right, she would have called ToeDad when Becky first showed up with all the horror THAT entails.
And if she had done that, Hank would have shared part of the blame.
Yeah…
Also, can you imagine the AU where Joyce was just a little more obedient and had decided to call Toedad or tell her mom the truth so she could tell Toedad. Where Becky ran to that fountain but Joyce was just like “no, I told him, this will be good for you, fathers know best”, where she was in that car with nowhere to run back to and no memory of support left to turn to, having been betrayed by her closest friend and the woman she first fell in love with…
And then you realize that’s a reality for a lot of queer girls in that culture.
Though hopefully this will be helpful for Hank when Hank when he finds out about the plural there.
Comic Reactioners:
Panel 3: Oh fuck… So, Becky found her mom, but too late and her mom died later in the hospital, maybe even after a few days suffering, from complications from the pills because pills can be horrible that way, leaving long-lasting damage if the person isn’t found fast enough and the stomach isn’t pumped fast enough.
No wonder Becky is sprinting away, she’s been there, discovering the body too late and wants to make sure that hasn’t happened again.
Oh fuck, I wonder if that’s also part of the reason Carla intervened so quickly and aggressively. If she lost an online trans friend to suicide before she could intervene or realize it was depression and was not about to let the same thing happen even if it meant outing Ruth and Billie.
And so many middle fingers to whatever combination of Toedad and Church leaders decided on “cancer” as a euphemism for suicide.
Panel 4: Okay, I’m actually trying to suss this one out because their hands are still clasped together so they didn’t split off. We know that Becky ran straight for the room, which is confirmation that she thought that they were mid suicide attempt and was determined not to be too late this time. But it’s Dina who notes where they actually were. So was Becky like running around between Ruth or Billie’s rooms looking for them while Dina was politely asking Carla or Grace on the way? Or overheard someone saying something while Becky was hyper focused on getting there? Not fully sure of the logistics there.
I get the impression that Becky has only just stopped running in panel 4, and Dina’s been too busy trying to keep up to say anything
I buy that given that those legs very much look like someone slowing up from a dead sprint.
Though Dina’s don’t.
Dina may have taken a moment to figure out what Becky was really trying to do, as she got dragged down the hall to Ruth’s room, then back. There’s probably also a bit of compression going on: It would probably make more sense for her to have revealed the health center bit when they reached Ruth’s room, but then you have to repeat it for Hank and you don’t get the nice instant reaction from him.
Oh yeah, Dina’s been bouncing in Sarah’s room for awhile and was in the hall to see a lot of the drama go down with Billie and Ruth and the RM.
Not to mention that I completely forgot that she’s the one that told Sarah in the first place what was going on and where Ruth and Billie went:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/offputting/
So yeah, second interpretation of Panel 4 was Becky was running around and it’s only now that Becky’s mentioned who she was specifically looking for and why which allowed her to tell her the information she knew about where they were.
It’s possible that she both had cancer and committed suicide, and the grown ups just left out the suicide part. Depending on the cancer, it could have been a choice between dying and going through the agony of treatment in order to die just a bit later.
If I’m right, I’m also suspecting that her husband quoted the book of Job a lot around her. Because, you know, a monster.
I think the metaphysical interpretation of cancer might apply itself to having a negative viewpoint on mental illness, so it being used in this nature fits, for me at least.
From a certain point of view.
Yup, Becky hesitates exactly 0 seconds before she is ON THE RESCUE!!!! No Billie is dying on HER WATCH!!!
Comics Reactionests:
Panel 5: This, right here, is Hank’s crowning moment of awesome. Like, yes, he’s been really fantastic in a lot of ways this weekend, but this right here is a momentous occasion. Like, for the first time, this is Hank treating Becky like a full person, like the kid who’s been his daughter’s best friend, and with genuine concern and forethought to her mental state and freely offering her something directly. Not just including her in something pre-occurring.
And that’s a big shift, because previously he had made it to tolerant. He had made it to sympathy, but here he is fully including her into the family and doing right by her and her mental state and valuing that rather than excusing her lesbianism because of it.
It’s a touching dad moment and you see it in Becky’s face. Her rictus smile mask drops a bit and those eyes are full of emotion, like she’s about the cry for receiving this. It’s the humanity she’s needed and a sign that Joyce, Jocelyne, Becky, and Hank might just be able to make a nice little family unit for each other when all this is over.
Panel 6: Oh Sarah… Becky is not the only one who needs to learn how to express emotions.
But I can relate, a lot, it’s hard when you’ve gone through stuff or had emotions punished in one’s past to let yourself express them to others. The fear of what has been supercedes and it becomes easier to bury it all because it’s now habit. But it’s also not a habit either needs to keep carrying. Joyce is not going to punish Sarah for having emotions. Nor will she and Dina punish Becky for it. Both are free from the toxic family or toxic friendship that trained them out of wearing their hearts on their sleeves and I look forward to both being able to crawl out of that hole and show more of their hurt and worry and hope on the outside as well.
Becky did NOT expect parental wonderfulness at this point. This is one of very few times her mask falters.
Hank musta heard about the Cool Dad ™ perks, and realized that’s what not only a good person, but a human being should be, which is who he wants to be. The right thing is not always the easiest thing to do, but every time you do it, it becomes easier, until you never think of it as not only being hard, but as ever as being hard.
“Did no one… shit, did I not tell you how Becky’s mom passed? Oh, man, I’d begun to realize that I raised you in a really toxically restrictive environment, but it’s really only hitting me now just how bad it was.
…Becky? Becky, are you okay? …Oh, right, I said ‘shit’ and now you’re hyperventilating.”
It’s like waking up, but the room’s on fire and you’re only just realizing that the fire’s been burning for years without notice.
Damn it, now I want to do a DoA filk of “We Didn’t Start The Fire”.
And that you’re holding an empty gas can, and you can’t find your matches anywhere.
this is fine.
https://thenib.com/this-is-not-fine/
This was exactly what Cerberus’s description of Hank made me think of.
It was deliberate.
These people go to bed thinking everything is fine, everything is good… then they wake up and they’re on fire!
So, obviously that Becky’s mother attempted to commit suicide and apparently did enough damage to herself that it ultimately killed her is now confirmed. A lot of Becky’s manic persona starts to make sense now.
No, Hank. No one ever told Joyce, just like you didn’t. No one ever told her about all those little lies and half truths and omissions you used to keep up a facade, and as a result she thought the facade was the real thing.
Ouch, this strip summed up quite a lot of Joyce’s background.
And Panel five… FINALLY an adult steps up to be the adult Becky needs. This goes beyond the “yes Becky, always,” when he allowed her to be included in the family trip. This is him going out of his way to help HER. Not for Joyce’s sake but for Becky’s Not because he has to but because SHE needs it. And also a silent acknowledgement of “Yes, I know. Not again.”
Last panel translated from Sarah speak: “You are going to be OK, right? I can’t stand it if anything happens to you.”
All of this. And yeah, she has the same dropping of the mask and genuine emotion that she did when Jocelyne revealed herself to similarly be an adult family member to her. It’s a very key moment to Hank and I think he’s starting to put together the pieces of how much the culture of silence he’s fallen in with has been harming and restricting his kids and how damaging that has been.
And totally agree on the Sarah speak translation. I think she’s going to be going right back to anxiously looking out the window until they return and she can see where Joyce is emotionally.
The trip to Becky’s house to get her personal papers pretty much showed her mothers ‘ghost’ in a suicide scenario. I didn’t realize that was Becky’s first thought when she heard about Ruth and Billie.
Good on you Hank for helping Becky when she needs you. Glad you’re realizing how much you didn’t tell your kids the truth.
Ah Sarah, go along, you know you want to.
OK, so…. Hank knew what really happened to Bonnie.
There is NO chance in hell that Carol didn’t know it too.
Carol knew that Becky’s mother committed suicide (and most likely that Becky found her). She knew that her father tried to kidnap her with a gun.
AND SHE STILL SPENT THE WEEKEND IN A PETTY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BULLYING SPREE OF THE HOMELESS, PARENT-LESS BEST FRIEND OF HER DAUGHTER!!!!
I kinda gave her the benefit of doubt before but… FUDGE YOU CAROL!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome, Bagge. The pizza is on the left, the fruit is on the right. The fruit is not for eating.
Knowing that Carol was fully aware of the suicide and that she treated Becky the way she did makes that whole arc even more toxic. That goes for the “pastors” at the church. I’m sure that they blame Becky for the suicide, rather than toedad. Hank is becoming more aware that his wife and amny of his friends are monsters. Ref- http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/monsters-2/ , but he is focused on helping Becky and doing the right thing.
Joyce isn’t the only cutie being broken here. I think they will both come through with their faith altered but intact.
Hank at least has what Joyce didn’t – a good role model.
Yep. And it’s a fair shout that most of the adults whispering about Becky’s queerness as if it was a hotter take than facing violence from her father or still holding the scars from her mother’s suicide also knew as well and didn’t care.
And that palpable air where it seems no one cares that something big went down, where all that matters is everyone is playing normal and acting like it’s no big deal and it’s on you the person with the least power to feel personally responsible for it and accept this additional abuse on top of it, is a headspace that really fucks with your self-esteem and sense of worth.
You start actually internalizing a lot of the shit, like oh, I guess that time I nearly got killed was my fault or being discriminated out of my job was a sign I should feel worse about my identity and try and hide it more.
And I suspect it’s the same for Becky, how much she’s had to beg for the barest strips of humanity from those in her life and how Carol and all the other folks back “home” were just happy to pile on to her misery and find new ways to blame her for all of it and bully her despite all they knew about what she’s suffered and how emotionally on-edge she is.
Fuck, Carol even saw the desperate Becky half-smile threatening to crack that shows when she’s super nervous and praying fervently for a happy end and decided to immediately launch on the offensive instead. Her actions were on a level of monstrous WAY above what any person should handle with as much dignity and grace as Becky had to.
Becky’s faith is quite fine. Joyce’s is probably going to go poof. She’s the most autobiographical, ESPECIALLY on matters of faith, and has repeated the same thing that killed Willis’ belief.
Honestly we’re lucky she didn’t fit in a “So THAT’s why your mom killed herself” at some point…
You…gave her the benefit of the doubt? Makes you a better than me then.
I dot understand why Becky was smiling in this comic and at the end of the last. It makes her seem like she’s taking the whole thing as a joke. I know she’s trying to hide her feelings but an ear-to-ear grin seems like a strange approach.
She’s not smiling. Her mouth is just wide open and the panel is zoomed far out. I understand why there was confusion on the last strip, but I thought the context of this one made it pretty clear how that expression is supposed to be read? It’s absolutely not a smile. The only time she smiles here is the awkward and nervous smile at Hank when he offers her a ride.
Ok cool. Yeah I couldn’t tell
for some reason my gravatar changed on mobile but this is me
Really?
yes really.
Odd, because smiling a lot is one of the things I do under stress. I’m happiest when I’m scowling:)
Both times I went under, I had people comment: “Oh, you seem perfectly happy.” I *seemed* perfectly happy up until the times I almost topped myself.
It’s her defense mechanism.
So yeah, really? Is it that strange?
A rictus grin is a response to anxiety for me. I think it is for Becky, too.
Hank is “smiling” too. He’s trying to support her and put her at ease because he knows what memories this brings up. Becky is happy someone knows and appreciates what she’s going through. She’s had very little of that from adults.
Becky smiles so that she can’t break out in desperate crying. She smiles as a defense mechanism, same as how her entire attitude is constructed to keep her from thinking too hard about all the horrible things that have happened to her.
Poor Hank. Being the only decent caring father figure with reasonable on-panel time must be such a burden..
He’s come a long way from his earlier “pray the atheism away” interactions in the comic. Though, having encountered individuals that have compared atheism to terrorism.. unfavorably.. it may just be his specific weakness of tolerance.
Speculation.
I think there’s an interesting connection between Carol and Toedad.
“I would die for you”
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/troopers/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/sweetie/
Carol I think shares something of a guilty secret with Toedad.
Quite what this secret is, I don’t know. But it may go some way to explain their outrageous and harmful behavior.
BTB, If Becky’s mother died of an overdose of paracetamol, it is likely she was fully aware when she was brought around in hospital. Her kidneys would have been failing but she would have been able to talk lucidly at least for a while. (Apols if this is a little brutal, I was brought up around hospitals etc.)
My theory goes like this: Carol is fed up with moving church to church, she finds a soul-mate in Toedad. His wife finds out, it’s the final straw, she commits suicide.
When did a specific drug like paracetamol come into this?
Perhaps you know it as Tylenol ™.
I reallly like Hank as a character.
Too bad we can’t have more off him unless re all of the sudden wants to go back to school.
Given the alternative – go back home to Carol and the church and the toxicity he is getting increasingly aware of – I think he just might go for it.
But Ruth and Billie’s issues don’t explain why everyone is gone. They weren’t well liked, so its not like the entire floor is going to be holding a vigil for them, so what’s going on?
Chloe organized them to accompany her so she can get the full story. Everyone on the floor was in on the secret, so it will all come out.
That seems likely. Chloe after getting Ruth and Billie to safety would probably want to get the full story from everyone else as to what was going on and why that Mary lady was so insistent on “taking over the investigation herself”. So I would not be surprised if she was talking to them all in the common area or were having them all checked out by Health Services to have some post-crisis counseling about having discovered something like that as well as related to the gunman on campus.
Because this is shocking and surprising, and I think it would go like this: Rachel, Carla and Sal, maybe Roz, maybe someone else tag along because they feel like it’s their duty, and they are influential enough between all of them and everyone else is unsure enough how to react that they just follow their lead.
And those who didn’t would probably hole themselves up in their rooms like Sarah did.
Have you never been around a moment of drama? It doesn’t matter if they’re popular, if something dramatic happens, people will flock to it
Well, since Mary is also gone, I’m going to guess that the rest of the floor is busy constructing a stockade to put her in so they can then start throwing rotten fruit at her.
I keep nervously waiting for Mr. Brown to hit his max acceptance of change and new situations for the weekend and implode, but he keeps surprising me. At this point it seems like his attitude towards this stuff has been actually been progressing off panel for a long time. Probably longer than Joyce has been aware of, and it was just drowned out by Carol’s stubborn opinions.
I think it’s just the abstract ideas of what’s wrong vs living people in the moment. The more immediate the situation, the more decency he reveals.
Cultures are great at convincing good people that horrible things are good and innocent things are evil. But, if they are truly good people, then encountering them face-to-face will inspire them to change.
Very much like Joyce.
So, quick question: how many of the votes have been from our androphiles (sexually attracted to men)?
I’m not, but I picked the current top 2. But I’m wondering if there’s a difference between those of us who aren’t androphiles and those of us who are.
(And, yes, the opposite word is gynephiles.)
Well, I’m ace, and I voted for Walky and Danny
I don’t know if I count, since I’m attracted to both (but am more picky with men than women), but I voted for Mike just because he’s a dickhead and gets away with it, which means he’s charming enough to his peers to still be attractive as a friend, and that tends to boost peoples’ opinions of physical appeal as well. (Also, he’s pretty confident he could seduce either Ethan or Danny if he wanted to, so he knows he’s hot. XD)
Ugh, I hate those terms.
Also, ace, so went for aesthetics and what the bi people in my life say are the hottest.
What other terms are there? We desperately need terms for the concept, to avoid just assuming heteronormativity or having to constantly specify “straight women and gay men and bisexuals of all types, and homoromantic male aces and heteroromantic female aces.”
And, yes, I did make a mistake in saying “sexually attracted.” The -phile suffix is romantic, not sexual. It comes from philos, which meant a love between equals. The one for sexually attracted would be “eros,” which refers to what we call lust, and was actually looked down upon in Ancient Greece.
Still, if you have a better word for the concept. I’m game to use it.
I didn’t vote, not qualified to do so.
i havent got my orientation figured out so i dont know
i voted for mike and joe though
The character design isn’t super titillating to me, (well, Amber and Billie, but I’m hella into curves), I don’t mean that as any kind of criticism of Willis’ artwork, I liken it to something like Archie or Peanuts, so I ended up going for personality mostly. My first pick was Danny. Dude just feels really alive and he tries so damn hard to make things right despite being in over his head, and he screws up and ruins things and gets back up and tries again, and also he’s finally silenced his gay panic and is taking control of his sexuality, so I’m super happy for him. Turns out character development is a kink for me. Who’da thunk?
Walky’s fun, but he’s also way too childish and I feel like I’d just get tired of being near him, and Ethan’s too vanilla despite his glorious manchest. Argue about toys more, dude!
Then I voted for Jacob because he’s a dense cut of beefcake and I’m weak, but also because I want to see more of him in the series (because now I ship him and Amber).
I am! I voted Sal, Carla, and Dorothy. Sal and Mr. Tutor was delicious, I think I love Carla, and Dorothy will always be my favorite.
In the 2003 film LUTHER: A young man commits suicide and the villagers refuse to bury him in the cemetery. Martin Luther, who at the time is a Catholic priest, takes a shovel and digs the grave himself.
Check out the 1998 film “What Dreams May Come” starring Robin Williams, Annabella Sciorra, and Cuba Gooding Jr. (watch for Max von Sydow as the librarian). It’s visually beautiful but definitely not a comedy. It’s based on a 1978 novel by Richard Matheson and covers love, family, death, depression, suicide, and transition to the afterlife (Catholics will be impressed the gothic view of Purgatory).
My first Christian minister believed that the only unforgivable sin was to know and accept Jesus and then deny him. He also said that, for him, the worst part of hell would be the absence of God (darkness).
Life is a challenge. Take it or leave it . . . I love it.
My dad’s parents “died in their sleep” when I was a kid. I bought it for about two days until I got bothered by the coincidence and poked at it enough for mom to admit the truth. Though in their case it was “we’re old and everything hurts and it’s just going to keep breaking more”. The “cancer” side of things comes from my mom’s side of the family, and grandpa, mom my brother and I have all struggled with it to some extent.
So, once Joyce finds out the truth, what is the chance of Joyce driving a stake through Mary’s heart and ending her reign of terror forever?
“Thou shalt not suffer a wongo to live!”
And the spending 15 years I jail. Probably dying due to her food issues.
Eh, you have to be human for it to qualify as murder. Admittedly, it kind of screws over Optimus Prime and company but not all men hate Transformers.
🙂
Does it make me a bad person for being kinda mad at Becky for interrupting what seemed to be an in-comic confirmation on what in the blue hell happened to Bonnie? I’m kinda compulsed to know details, yet also aware, at least sometimes, when you can’t ask something. But I have trouble learning about ‘unsaid’ things. I need them said.
Yes.
You monster.
Good to know.
I feel kinda bad for her father. It seems like half the time he spends with her it’s damage control or filling her in on things that burst her bubble. Hang in there, Hank.