I imagine that some nights Willis just sits in an elegant arm chair, stroking a cat while dressed as Poseidon. He grips hold of his magnificent trident and gently presses a button on the desk in front of the chair. He purses his lips into a sadistic smile as the words escape his lips. “Release the feels.”. His words come out sweet, but at the same time heart wrenching. He leans back and sets the trident down, replacing it with a remote. One press of a button, and dramatic piano music plays. He elegantly reaches to the desk, trading the remote for a crystal glass with red wine in it. He speaks once more. ” Now, let us revel in the suffering of the internet.” And then he reads comments so that he can randomly correct people for as long as he so wishes, until he’s had his fill. As if it were a form of sustinence.
I’m hoping we get to see some more of him, especially since his divorce looks pretty inevitable at this point and I think that would be a fantastic story. Well, an awful one too, but you know what I mean.
I know the odds are against it succeeding but if anyone could reason with Mrs Brown, it’d be Hank. And I think he’ll try like hell before he gives up on her.
THIS. Hank is such a great Dad because he puts family first, above all else. It’s why he can accept his daughter’s friendship with a girl who, he believes, is a sinner. It’s why he he doesn’t argue with his wife, even when she spews hateful bile. Divorce would SHATTER his family, and he would do whatever it takes to prevent that.
The Jesus bits are pretty against it though, and sadly, more importantly for Hank, his particular religion is pretty set against it as well, so breaking out of his relationship may mean breaking with his entire religious community.
And then there’s that one thing that Paul said about marriage, which in context was just one piece of the larger message of “just keep with whatever you’re doing now because Jesus is coming ANY DAY and we should focus on that instead”, but which everyone interprets as don’t divorce and monogamy only.
I hope they dont’ divorce. I hope that he’s able to help his wife come around. It would be a lot more fulfilling to watch her come around as well and embrace her children for who they are, than it would be to watch them divorce and dissolve into bitterness.
I also really worry about Joyce if they divorce. She’s grown so much, but look how upset she got when she realized her parents lie to each other. If she felt like she destroyed their marriage…
Certainly not soon, okay, at least a year or two comic-time?
Well, she might not blame herself. She could end up blaming one of her other siblings for destroying their marriage. Hopefully John, since he’s a dick.
Shrieking eels should be the focus of every conversation. Unrelated, but important: if an eel knows you, and like you, they will cuddle you like a very long cat.
Yup, Hank blew away the last of my fears and reservations right here. This is pure unadulterated A+ dadding right here and he hits all the best notes I was scared to hope to see from him.
Which is why she’s talked to Joyce (or anyone, for that matter) about her mother’s suicide. Why she spent a happy day hanging out with Joyce before giving even a hint she was in trouble or why.
Becky’s a master at being closed – likely because she had to be to survive childhood with Toedad. She just covers it all by being wacky impetuous Becky, because nobody likes a Debby Downer. We’ve seen it in her again and again.
Sure, we joke about her nuking the closet from orbit, but you might notice she only did that after everyone who mattered already knew – Ross had found out and she’d confessed to Joyce. She was out and there was no going back in, so she might as well own that. Make it seem like it was her own choice.
She’s really good at hiding her feelings behind the mask of Wacky Becky. And the few times she lets that mask slip, it’s only with people she fully trusts or because she can’t hold it in anymore. Joyce after she was rejected and had lost all hope, Dina when Dina dropped the Toedad on campus bomb, and here now with Hank.
Moments of extreme stress that she can’t paper over with Wacky Becky anymore. And happily, all three turned out well. The only outlier is when she was kidnapped by Toedad and trying to be honest with him.
She still is closed. She doesn’t show her negative emotions or how she’s feeling hurt. And her mom might be something to do with that- a lot of people get the mistaken idea that depression looks like being sad all the time. So if she’s just ALWAYS HAPPY and ignores the bad feelings, then they won’t get her! That’s how it works! Totally!
I’ve known a few people who had depression and used this coping mechanism. It doesn’t work.
(I don’t know for sure if Becky has depression- but honestly it wouldn’t surprise me with everything she’s gone through. Probably some PTSD at least, from both her mom’s suicide and Toedad’s kidnapping.)
happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin and when you can balance it on its side like i imagine it is now for becky then you experiences every side at once allowing you to truely feel both.
Nah, it was ‘character’- they originally were writing her name using the Kanji for “Lesbian”, and only just switched to the romanized spelling of “Becky”.
But only because Les Bean already claimed the direct translation. 😛
I wonder if it was a case of the same catalyst causing two distinct reactions. I wonder if the Browns’ relationship with Becky’s parents caused Hank to become more critical of his church and Carol to double down on church teachings.
I actually think it might’ve started way back when Joyce told them off and used scripture to do it. If Hank is the kind of person who bases his opinions off of interpretation of the scripture while Carol is the kind who bases it off of church doctrine (and honestly we know Hank is that kind of person because he’s changed churches based on doctrine), then Joyce would have genuinely changed his perspective on how to treat people, while just making her mother think “oh god, she’s straying from the beliefs of the church.” Which… is roughly how they reacted, Hank proud that his daughter stood up for her beliefs and made him think, Carol genuinely not happy.
This schism in thought leads to others, which leads to others, like where Joyce most belongs or how Becky should be handled, and suddenly you end up with the situation right now.
We don’t have much clue yet of what Hank was like when they got married. He may have been much like Carol in those days, but unlike her has evolved in his views for whatever reason.
He was a lot like (exactly like) her (and John) just a couple of months ago, comic-time. I don’t envy him the task he’s got ahead of being a bigger influence in Carol’s life than their manifestly toxic church is, but I can’t think of anyone fitter for the job.
(Carol’s a faint hope of rescue. John? screw him, he gets to say goodbye to his sisters forever. unless Jocelyne feels up to wandering into his life for the occasional deadly well-aimed zinger, and then right out again each time.)
^ this, I have a lot of fundie Christians in my extended family (not my immediate family thankfully, I’d legitimately have killed myself by now if I had to deal with that sort of thing daily). They are incapable of changing to the level Hank would have needed to
It took them something like 30+ years to reach the point where they’ll tolerate a black man having married into the family, and they still don’t treat him very well (they tolerate his existence for the singular reason that murder is illegal and they didn’t manage to drive him off with anything else). And they’re still passive aggressive as fuck to anyone who isn’t so conservative that they think Trump is the incarnation of God’s will.
They’re the worst kind of people, and they can’t change because they think that EVERYONE ELSE is wrong and needs to change to fall in line with them.
People like Carol or my family don’t change. There’s no catalyst strong enough to instigate short of God himself descending from heaven and bongo-slapping them… and I kind of doubt that’d be enough.
If Hank were like Carol until recently, then there’s no way he’d have changed this much in so short a time.
People who are opposites can get along perfectly well until put under pressure which can reveal how truly different their beliefs ultimately are.
There is actually a specific dynamic I can’t remember the name of but it literally always falls apart because any relationship pressure reveals how very different they are and leads to arguments.
P.S. Leave the Harpies out of it, they just want to sit in their bird nests and preen, they do not want to be associated with people who take their religion too far.
Two people, very similar, are taking a test. Both have an opportunity to cheat. One does. one doesn’t. The one who doesn’t becomes convinced of the rightness of their action. No good person cheats. Honesty becomes a mark of their personality and a guiding principle.
The other becomes convinced of the value of cheating. Everyone does it. Only fools would don’t cheat. Those against cheating are just hypocrites, since everyone cheats. They are the smart and honest ones.
Small differences multiply and magnify over time. The book to read is “Mistakes were made but not by me”. And that’s your book recommendation of the week.
Hank himself said that since Joyce told him off, that he’s done a lot of praying and has chosen to open his mind and trust his daughter. Initially he came off as basically the same as his wife, he’s gone through a lot of growth in a short amount of time. Just like Joyce has.
Joyce’s mom hasn’t reached this decision yet. For whatever reason, she isn’t ready to. I think it’s pretty rare for two people to have this journey at exactly the same pace, in my experience one usually outpaces the other. And I bet Hank has been really, really gentle with his wife and not really confronting her- so she doesn’t feel like there’s any journey to make.
I think puns are, in and of themselves, considered bad to those of the population that have no wish to be an awesome dad. If you wish/are an awesome dad, then puns are already great.
Nononono, puns are always bad. To laugh at a pun is an insult – the correct response which all must aim at is the long suffering groan.
That is the sound of true appreciation.
I never said laugh, I said great. And the worse they are for haters of puns, the better it is. You want a pun so large that it groans under its own mass.
Damn you Willis, I thought I became too jaded to feel things beyond “hungry, horny, sleepy” back in 1998.
If I become a functional human I am blaming you.
But I can picture her making sure everyone is ok. Ruth seemingly ruled through implied pain and suffering. Would you really want to get on the bad side of a bad-ass chick who drives a motorcycle who’s friends with roller derby women?
Well, again discounting Amber. It would make for interesting storyline. With Carla it’d probably be Mary trying to get her fired. And I believe Sarah’s the only other option, and it seems like she’d be against it. Plus, no major plotline seems to jump out at me with her anyways. You gotta drive the narrative, right?
Except that Mike recently made it clear that he isn’t limiting himself to just mothers. Fathers, daughters, sons and farm animals should all be scared if Mike becomes RA!
My sleeper pick, though it would make the RA more functional of a presence, would be Rachel because she would probably be quietly competent at the job in a way that Ruth so very wasn’t.
I’m still hoping Sarah because it strikes me as completely appropriate for a future lawyer to have to learn how to deal with a bunch of losers expecting you to solve problems yo don’t care about.
Isn’t Rachel not an RA? I think I remember a conversation between her and Carla way back when about ‘training freshmen about how Carla rolls’. And perhaps also Other Rachel? I mean, if the two of them are rooming together and involved with each other, then maybe they got together or met in the previous year?
Ooooh. That sounds interesting. Also opens up a story arc for why the new character was willing to move during the semester and presumably after having already gotten settled elsewhere.
…. but it might also (in part or in whole) being a defense mechanism. Telling herself that she would be proactive about spotting the signs might have made her feel calmer about the possibility of suicide in her life, giving her some sense of control or at least awareness rather than leaving her at the mercy of random, capricious, and abrupt tragedy.
She’s blaming herself for not seeing the signs and for her mother’s death and she’s protected herself for years on the thought that now she would know better and now she would always catch the signs in time, and she feels like she failed that once again.
She’s got two if you discount current college students cause she’s also got older sister Jocelyne. She’s building a little nest of a family and it’s really beautiful to see.
I am crying. I understand how Becky feels, and thank you Hank. You just stuck the landing for the weekend. You said the right thing, the compassionate thing.
He’s being kind, and down right fatherly, to people that probably a couple of weeks ago, would have looked down on with disdain, at best. I think he’ll be able to handle it. Just give him a week to reconcile what happening right now. Undoing decades of toxic behaviors/thoughts/viewpoints can’t happen overnight.
I’m way more optimistic about that than I’ve ever been thanks to this strip. I think he could even actually handle it relatively okay, which is way different than what my fear was saying like last strip.
I’m more comfortable thinking he’ll come around in the end. I still think the actual revelation will be pretty nasty. He’ll take some time to accept it.
Which isn’t too far from how I see Joyce reacting, though it’ll be quicker with her.
I doubt she’ll become a more reasonable person. She has lived most of her life with that ideology of hers and making someone to renounce something they were thought since they were kids it’s hard.
One of the things that I think was suggested by Joyce going “this is why we changed churches so much” is that Hank has >always< seen being good to others as a key part of his faith, and that he was searching for a church that combined that with an unabashedly dogmatic Christian approach.
My parents are very much like that. We changed churches a lot when I was a kid for pretty much this reason: doctrinal differences, weird culture, that kind of thing. People who are very interested in Christianity are attracted to fundamentalist churches because there’s a similar level of passion for the material there; but people who have interpreted the main message of Christianity as being mercy and compassion and forgiveness and helping others and who have committed to that as a central part of their religious beliefs make poor fundamentalists.
If she can look Becky right in the eye and stick try to barbs in her after what her dad did and knowing full damn well what happened to Bonnie, I just do not see her suddenly feeling remorse for that.
The next time she does or says something monstrous like that, I can’t see Hank standing for it.
In my experience, people with deep religious beliefs that suddenly have those beliefs challenged in a way they can’t ignore either begin breaking away from them, or double or triple down and declare everything that’s trying to convince them otherwise “evil”.
If Carol is falling into the latter camp, it’s entirely possible she’ll see Hank “turning away from God”… and come up with some excuse about maintaining the purity of her home or wtf-ever to ignore all the dogma against divorce and woman-respect-thy-husband and crap and leave him. Those types are real good at talking out both sides of their mouth, even with the same verse.
It’s pretty simple. Hank’s self-reliant and can even pitch in a bit, and all Becky really needs is a bed, some fast food, her Dino-chick, and some friends.
Ah, but now it’s two paychecks to support four, because we’re dragging Dina along too. She might still get money from her parents, and Becky might find a job, but that’s alot of ifs for Yumi or Miados to balance.
Of all the things he could offer her right now, that one’s pretty near the top of the helping. (Now, how long til one of them realizes she’s bed less again?)
OK, Hank. I’m still a bit miffed about how you neglected Becky. The least you could do would be to…
…take her aside so she could talk to you slightly more privately
…give her sympathy by light touch
…and say goodbye to her
…and ask her if she needs anything
…and give her the chance to open up to you
…listen to her as she does
…make sure she got the message that you will help her when she needs it
…in short, be the parent she desperately needs
…oh, you did all that. Sorry, Hank, you are daddying right. Wait, what are…
…Yeah, sure I suppose you could also tell her that her dead mother – that you knew – would approve of – be PROUD of – her. That what she has become would not be something to be ashamed of in her mother’s eyes. And do it when Becky is at her most vulnerable, having her mother’s suicide hit home the most. Yeah, I suppose you could do that too.
Sorry, I have to make a call.
*yells at phone* “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T MAKE THE ‘DADDY OF THE YEAR CUPS ANY LARGER?????'”
…Which adds quite neatly to the list of Things Joyce Is Right About.
– Everything can be solved by falling in love (corroboration: Becky and Dina)
– Dads know how to make things right (corroboration: Hank)
– Crime escalates (corroboration: Dingdongs -> Car chases -> Burglary)
– Walky is a poophead (corroboration: Walky)
Becky would also like to add:
– God is good, and also kinda rad (corroboration: My girldfriend, my best friend on a motorcycle and a gosh-danged real-life superhero)
Yup, Hank’s getting a divorce after he goes back home and tries to deal with the reality of his self-imposed life.
Carol is honestly the most tragic figure in this strip. Her entire life is about to be destroyed. Her friend tried to kill her daughter, her daughter goes to school with lesbians and non-believers, her other son is estranged, her other daughter is about to come out as trans, and now it looks like she’s going to be divorced sooner rather than later.
Speaking from her perspective, and ‘woe is me’, wouldn’t it be her son is trans? I mean, we know that Jocelyn is a woman, but Carol wouldn’t consider her to be one.
That I get, it’s just that bryy seemed to be portraying it from Carols view, her thoughts, if you will. And for her, her son thinks he’s trans. We however, know Joycelyn is a she, and has always been one, and has just been misgenders her entire life.
Sorry, weird technicality thing I’m pointing out here. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding what bryy was thinking. Wouldn’t be the first time it happened.
welp, I think that given our medium, which is comments on a webcomic on the internet, there’s no excuse good enough to misgender Jocelyn, especially when that can cause dysphoria and outright harm to real trans people who are probably reading this webcomic and may even be reading this comment right now. (hi guys. stay safe out there.)
that was kinda harsh and i’m gonna assume you have good intentions so i’m gonna add that i thought that bryy was speaking from their own perspective, not carol’s. i didn’t read it as having signifiers that it was what carol thought, more just what carol was going to go through?
It’s alright. Like you said, our view on what bryy said was different. Carol stating that she has two daughters, while accurate, would have just been out of character for her. It’s both simple and complex for me to get, if you understand my meaning.
If bryy had actually been giving Carol’s internal thoughts, that would have been acceptable. Describing her situation from outside, as it read to me, since it used “her” instead of “I”, referring to Jocelyn as her daughter is preferred.
No, there’s just not a good reason for us to support Carol’s wrongheaded views (This notwithstanding that it’s not Carol’s stream of consciousness, but rather framing people’s relations to Carol; therefore ‘her other daughter’ is appropriate even if the alternative wasn’t horrible.)
haha i feel like Sarah could definitely one-up her in tragedy. i mean i love me some good Carol angst but the thing that makes it for me is that core self-righteousness and refusal to see any of her contributions to her own problems. and while that technically is a good old-fashioned Greek Tragic Flaw…it’s less of a flaw where i feel sorry for Carol, more of one where i just kind of want to point and laugh except she’s so caustic i can’t
idk i’m kind of defining tragic here by how relatable i find the character but like there’s a difference between Sarah pushing everyone away to find that she has feelings directly impacted by not opening up and Carol pushing her children and husband away because she won’t acknowledge that maybe things are even a little screwed up
but ALSO if we’re going back to Greek tragedies you have to be screwed over both by fate and by yourself. both things that you can’t control, and your own personality. so i mean…technically yes…and there’s room for a good novella about Carol the tragic figure…but i wouldn’t actually want to read about Carol feeling sorry for herself because of her own actions??? idk i feel like this is where this is going and if that’s not correct then i apologize
I really can’t muster up any sympathy for Carol. All the impending tragedy you mentioned could be completely avoided by her exhibiting basic human decency, and the tiniest bit of compassion.
Though I suppose that’s tragic in its own way. So much misery that she could avoid inflicting on herself and her family if she could just crack her indoctrinated, hurtful beliefs ever so slightly. Though the thought that she’s so indoctrinated in her the worst of her beliefs that she actually admires Ross, while she worries about Joyce’s soul is the most tragic part of it all.
This is no tragedy. For Carol to be a tragic figure she would need some redeming quality that makes her fall tragic, as well as a tragic flaw. It’s the reason some don’t consider The Scottish Play a tragedy. Macbeth doesn’t have enough of a redeemig quality to make his him a tragic hero.
It is a very sexist POV, but I suspect that the tragedy in the usual Shakespearean sense is that Macbeth was a seemingly loyal underling who was driven past his own tipping point by his wife’s ambitions. I think that would be the traditional interpretation, at any event. Not necessarily the best one, but probably how kt would have been seen in that time.
That’s an interesting interpretation, and one I haven’t heard before, but I’m not sure I agree with it. I love Macbeth as a play, but his fall comes far to early to really be tragic. We never see him demonstrate any redeming features. Othello loved Desdemona, and acted nobly in interacting with her father. So we see him at his best before everything goes wrong. Macbeth…. finds some witches, and decides to make their prophecy happen by his own hands. Not to mention there is textual evidence to suggest he had talked about killing Duncan even before encountering the witches.
I agree that she has that flaw, but she’s made up of horrible flaws. She’s missing the other side of the equation, ennobling characteristics. For the fall to be tragic there alhas to be enough good in the person that it makes tge fall sad. Carol has yet to exhibit any redeming characteristics.
This is only a guess right now but I’m thinking that Hank had entrusted Carol with telling Joyce what happened to Bonnie. Carol, instead of telling her that she had committed suicide, lied to Joyce and made up some tale about cancer. The reason is likely going to be some attempt to cover up the likely cause (Ross being an abusive asshole).
The fact that Carol seemingly attempted to cover up Ross’s wrongdoings by lying to Joyce (and lied to him about doing it) may be the final straw for Hank.
Never happen. Hank would rather die than destroy his family, whatever his personal beliefs. He’ll go home, lie to his wife, and try to make things better. It’s what he does.
If he can’t find a way to get Joyce & Carol to reconcile – which would have to involve Carol changing, he’ll eventually have to choose between them. He’ll definitely try to keep the peace and support both, but that’s not always possible. For now all he’s been able to do is separate them to forestall the crisis, but that’s only a temporary solution.
And then there’s the family explosion that is Jocelyn.
I’m not sure it’s going to possible for Hank to make things better for everyone. And dying won’t help, even if he’d rather. I think that point’s been hammered home sufficiently.
If/when they divorce, it will be at a point where it merely acknowledges that their family has already fallen apart. He might struggle with the idea that he’s destroying it, but the damage will already have been done.
She’s the tragedy of the closed mind and the inflexible moral barrier. She’s so dead set on being the best Christian, following the right rules, getting her and her family to Heaven that she’s burning through the actual people in her family en route to perfection.
She lost one son by her inflexibility. She’s pushing away her daughter because her need to fight the war against the Homosexual Agenda precludes showing actual love and support to her actual daughter who was in pain and needing support. She’s losing her husband, because he is also seeing the cracks in the moral edifice and it’s rubbing his moral code wrong. She’s most definitely going to lose her other daughter, because there’s no way she’s going to be anything less than awful to her when she comes out or is outted.
At the end all she’ll have left is John, the granny-thieving moral cesspit, who is nonetheless “right with the Lord”.
And her central tragedy is all of this could have been so easily fixable, may still be easily fixable if she could just get off her track and reach out and treat these people close to her as full humans rather than props in her epic struggle to be the perfect “Christian mother” rewarded in Heaven.
It’s the tragedy of someone with all the tools to stop the path they are on, but refuses to take any of them and is hoist by the natural consequences of those actions.
It seems that Joyce coming to Hank’s college has not only had Joyce expand her knowledge and grow as a person, but has made Hank grow as well, arguable at a faster rate than Joyce. Perhaps Hank was this all along, and just needed a push to…having difficulty wording this. Powerful dad moment.
I don’t get this whole Hank growing as a person perspective. There are tons of signs all over the place showing that this is who he’s been the whole time.
He’s always been the nice guy who put people and family first, before dogma. Like Joyce. He just hasn’t had them conflict before*. Unlike Joyce.
Before now, he was shown in his brief earlier appearances to have some pretty disturbing beliefs and attitudes. He’s also openly said he’s trying to learn from Joyce and admitted he’s still having trouble.
*Unless the mysterious Jordan was such a conflict and he failed then, but we don’t know.
This is something that desperately needed to be said, and it’s something Joyce or Dina could never have said. For Joyce Bonnie was just a mother figure, and Dina never knew her or the culture they came from. But the adults knew her. Carol or Hank or the pastors, they knew who Bonnie was, they know what her daughter has gone through and what she has become.
“You have destroyed our family,” said Becky’s father.
Carol didn’t contradict him.
The pastors didn’t contradict him.
In fact, they did all they could to reinforce the idea that Becky had become something bad, something to be ashamed of.
If her own father thought she had become something despicable and unclean, if her best friends mother (who almost was HER mother as well), if the pastors (both the youth pastor who was cool and the pastor-pastor who knows everything), and all the other adults in church thought she was something to be ashamed of… wouldn’t her mother have agreed with them? She was one of them, right? And Becky will never be able to ask her herself.
NOPE, ENTER HANK!!!! Her mother would not only have APPROVED of who she had become. She would be PROUD of it. The Becky she is – with evolution and rad haircut and LESBIAN with girlfriend – is not something bad. Not according to her mother.
So Fudge you ToeDad and Carol and pastors and every stupid git in La Porte – Becky has the approval of the two persons from her old life who really matters: Joyce and Bonnie. Oh, and also of the really cool daddy she didn’t dare to hope she would have.
Sometimes, all you need to know is you are just who you should be, other people be damned. Becky is finding out who she truly is, and the one person from her old life that she care for, knowing that she would have still cared for her, it’s proper love.
Becky, stay true to you. Because the real you is a spitfire of a woman that’ll make sure people get what they need. And I think by doing so, you’ll get what you need. A family to care for, and that cares for you.
It’s exactly what Becky needed there. Because of all the adults of her old life, the one that mattered most to her was her mom. The mom she blames herself for losing. And so far every other adult from her old life, as you note, viewed her as trash who was responsible for destroying what was left. So to have one person from it go, no, no, you’re not. Also this person you lost would be proud of you. That hits, hard.
Bagge, you made my eyes water! You’ve done what even Willis had not achieved.
And I’m so relieved that Becky finds a bit of relief in tears. Thank Willis! All that forced smiling was heartbreaking.
… Now all we need is a parent figure for Amber. (I’m not saying a good cry would resolve Amber’s trauma, but it would help to make her feel less like stabbing someone.)
huh someone said something about my comment that didn’t call me a monsters etc. thats good. For some reason the fact i am a bit emotionally stunted makes people think im a monster.
You felt what most commenters felt was the correct feel. It was probably enough for them. Just fine for me. My tears are for stronger pains than this. As well as those toxic manliness things that were foisted onto me growing up.
Eh. Crying isn’t necessarily a good measure of how strongly a person feels. I mean, if a specific person is crying, that probably means they’re feeling more than if they aren’t, but the actual threshold that evokes tears and sobbing is different for everyone.
For example, one time in college I cried while watching the end of The Water Boy by myself. The Goddamn Water Boy. That certainly wasn’t because I was incredibly moved by Adam Sandler’s performance. Like, I’m not even an especially weepy dude most of the time, but the bar was apparently really low that morning.
Dang. I would totally send some of my extra tears your way, except I think if I did that, it would probably be both really weird, and not actually helpful.
*massive hugs* I’ve been places where I couldn’t cry even when I desperately wanted to (combination of numbness depression like Ruth and lots of bully survival training to hide all tears because I was told that just “encouraged them”).
I hope you can find your tears again someday. In the meantime, I can say that whatever you physiological response to things is is valid and no one should be expected to performatively cry to have their sadness accepted as genuine.
Not even about “The hollow child”/”The doctor dances”?
I admit I’m surprised, but I have come across people who just find the entire show completely unrelatable, because they find it too inconsistent and weird. Too each their own, I suppose.
Much as I love all Who, I have to say New Who lays the crude emotional manipulation on with a sodding backhoe sometimes. A lot of the bits where I’m clearly supposed to cry, I just sit there feeling embarrassed.
Awwwwww Dang!
Feels for both Hank and Becky. This is really a tear jerker.
I hope that Becky learns that Billy handed over her room and ‘stuff’ so she could live in Ruth’s room with her. Not because of any suicide feelings at that particular time. Billy knew her stuff was good where it was and had most of it in Ruth’s room at the time.
I don’t want Becky feeling all beholden and guilty over Billie who had no feelings for her in general, only that she was asked to do it. (Not to mention was trying to get Becky shipped out to the homeless section so she could have her room back)
The fact that Becky opens up to Hank is heartwarming in itself. After a full weekend dodging shots from his wife and the pastors, she still feel comfortable enough around him to let him see behind the mask. As far as I can tell he is the first adult she has opened up to since her mother died.
Poor Becky, she is so scared of loosing more people to suicide but she has no idea how to prevent it. And still she blames herself for not – during the most turbulent and chaotic time of her life – seeing the self destructive tendencies in people she has only known for a week.
And Hank rewards her opening up a thousand times over. He can’t help her with Billie, Joyce and Dina do much more to help Becky find her place than he ever could. But he CAN give her a link back to her dead mother and the community that threw her out. No matter how much noise Ross and Carol and the pastors make, they can never take away Becky’s mother from her. Bonnie would have been proud.
Hang about, I don’t recall the pastors being shown as saying anything? The youth pastor seemed uncomfortable around Becky, but anything beyond that…? Did I just miss it?
Yeah, the culture of silence back home was deafening and I’m really proud of Willis for going into that. Cause it’s surreal suffering awful things in that subculture and just receiving this sort of Stepford Wives’ “everything is fine and also you’re bad for being in that awful situation” vibe back.
The only other strip Landrum appears in, he’s saying “thanks for listening” to his congregation; that’s also Power’s only other appearance.
So, as I said: Powers is very clearly uncomfortable. Landrum I’m much less certain about. It’s also worth noting that Landrum to all accounts did not use his sermon to hammer on Becky– despite what some of the commenters thought was likely.
So I mean, they didn’t respond in the greatest way, no, Powers particularly. But it’s not like Landrum is actually going out there and actively telling Becky that Ross was right, Bagge.
Are you for real?
“You should.. you should go talk to everyone :)”
Translation: get the hell out of my face
But also tot he point: He didn’t say “Hey, I’m really sorry your father held you up”. He has becky in his /face/. She’s come down for a visit. The human response is to acknowledge it. And to acknowledge becky yourself.
The Youth Pastor was pretty strongly implied to be uncomfortable int he presence of Becky and Joyce. Given the explicit lines we hear the congregation give, we can be reasonably confident that indeed, the pastors are not on Becky’s side either.
Also, just to point out the obvious: We can be fairly confident that the rumor mill is turning out that Joyce is the one Becky is sinning with. Now, it won’t be the only grist from the mill, but you can bet your bottom dollar on it being there, and having some presence. This doubtless plays into their reaction when Joyce shows up with Becky in tow, and seems quite fiercely protective of her. There is a reason that Joyce, the gal who responds to Godpertunities, is being snubbed, after all, and people don’t know the full extent of what she’s said or done, or will do. But they know the rumors.
Next strip:
Joyce: Oh my goodness, Becky, how did you get your eyes so big?!?
Becky: I don’t know. Help me, Joyce. I think they’re stuck this way. Please.
Hank, you are officially Best Dad. I know, your competition is slim, and mostly limited to maybe three competitors, but you have come from behind to achieve it. Well done.
That was something that Becky desperately needed to hear. It was a nice touch that Hank didn’t directly address her core trauma – the sense of guilt over her mother’s death and her need to somehow ‘prevent’ it from ever happening again. Rather, he touched on the real issue. He told her that Bonnie would be proud of her and that, as a consequence, Becky had no cause to feel guilty for what happened to her and has happened to Billie.
If nothing else, Hank has shown himself a true Christian today by remembering that Jesus came first and foremost to heal broken hearts and souls. I think that he’s confirmed today that he regards Becky as a surrogate daughter and that he’ll care for her like she was one.
I think that after whatever happened with Jordan happened Hank will do whatever is within his power to avoid losing any more children. So at the very least, I think he will try.
I think that Hank doesn’t have to be ready to accept Jocelyne, he just has to be ready to not throw her out when the time comes.
He’s shown he’s willing to change and values caring and relationships more than dogma, which means even if he’s not ready out of the gate – if he leaves the door open, he’ll walk through it eventually.
And I think Becky did a lot to get him ready to leave that door open. So in a very real way, he owes her for his future chances of a healthy relationship with his daughter.
As someone who lost a parent to suicide and always questioned this myself because I never knew my dad (happened when I was a baby), this hit home so hard. Thank you for giving this to Becky. It’s so important.
Wait, do we know whether Hank actually knows that Becky’s mother killed herself?
If he knows, he’s not really addressing it here. Becky is freaking out over having missed suicide signs _again_ and Hank doesn’t address that at all. And he says that her mother would be proud of her – while not even looking at her. Which would be appropriate for a mother who died of a cause unrelated to the present moment’s drama.
I’d been assuming that Hank knew, and he and Carol had decided to keep it from Joyce. Now it looks like Hank didn’t know. And maybe he’s about to find out, from Becky.
It’s worth noting that Becky’s coping mechanisms have become increasingly brittle over the last few strips, and have now disappeared. This further increases the chance that she’ll actually talk about what really happened.
We may even find out that the gun Toedad hunted Becky with is the same gun that Becky’s mom used to kill herself with.
Willis did say in the comments, a day or two ago, that there is a “third act” to this storyline. To me that sounds like more than a few strips of feels. I think Hank is about to learn something that _really_ rocks his worldview.
And I suspect that, if he and Carol ever had a chance at saving their marriage, this will end that chance. I think Hank is about to be radicalized against the toxic religion their community follows, and Carol will not follow him there, and he will not stay with her.
or, hand knows and has no idea how to help becky deal with it at this point as 95% of his “dealing with this” material is biblical in nature which would obviously not be appreciated at this point, so he used his remaining 5% of exactly what he said.
While it isn’t totally unambiguously spelled out, it seems pretty clear to me that he he knew and that he assumed that Joyce would know also. So it is very unlikely that he was intentionally keeping Joyce in the dark.
And all indications are that Bonnie used pills, and was in the hospital for a while before finally succumbing to the damage they caused.
I think, at least with old statistics, pills were the primary choice for women. I think it stemmed from an ingrained cultural thing of ‘not making a mess’. That gun part in your theory made me shudder, Chris.
It was pretty clear that he knows, based on his surprise when he learned that Joyce still believed the cancer story. He was even the one who brought up the subject of how Becky’s mom died, specifically in reaction to seeing Becky freak out after learning about Ruth and Billie being suicidal. If he didn’t know the truth, that whole conversation doesn’t make sense.
I’m not sure what you expect him to do to “address” it, though. Becky already knows what happened, and she already is talking about it, in this very strip, to him.
It is also highly unlikely that Bonnie used the rifle. We don’t know exactly what she actually died from, but since we know she at least tried pills, that’s a safe bet. I also don’t think that even Ross would use that gun again if that were the case, much less chase his daughter with it.
I am 100% convinced that the attempt we saw in flashback was what actually killed her. That she did not “die” in comic only by technicality, hence why Willis went overboard with the content warnings, instead dying later by organ failure caused by the pill overdose in the hospital.
And I read it as Hank having just turned away to leave, as Becky had said he could go, plus maybe it only occurred to him to say anything at the last moment. But it doesn’t seem careless to me.
Whether or not the comment was directly relevant, I think it’s something Becky really needed to hear, especially because she’s feeling powerless to help those who are at risk in the present, and it’s a reminder that while she can’t do everything, she has still done so much to be proud of.
Becky says that she let Billy down by not recognizing the signs.
What she’s loudly *not* saying is that she feels she let her mother down (again) by not recognizing the signs (again) in someone else. She feels responsible for her mother’s death, and this has returned that misplaced guilt.
Hank’s response does not address the part that was said, but it addresses what was unsaid perfectly.
Glad to see Becky open up to someone. She’s usually bouncing all over the place. Being upbeat is fine, but sometimes you have to let the emotions out. Followed by a Half-back hug.
I take back my provisional “Damn you, Willis” from the other day. Well done, sir, well done.
I just got back from moving my daughter to Bloomington to start grad school at IU, ironically enough. So my feels are already on the high setting. This strip actually helped me keep more perspective. So thanks for that, sincerely.
The last thing, THE VERY LAST THING, ToeDad did to his daughter was to do his best to take away her mother. “You destroyed our family.”
The last thing Hank does before going back to the community she fled from is to GIVE HER BACK. “She would be proud of you.” No, no only of “you” but “of the person you have become.”.
Anyway, I have a note her from my cardiologist that says I’m to stay away from FEELS until my sensitive humor calms down but screw it. After all the incredible amount of crap Becky has gone through she really, really deserved to hear this. Well done, Hank. All those prayers have payed off – you have successfully conveyed the message of a God who answers lesbian prayers.
(Bonnie to God: Tell Hank to tell her that I’m proud of her and what she has become… oh, and ask him to buy her a jacket. She will catch a cold going outside like that!!!)
Also, I have been wrong about Ross this entire time. I have been, way, WAY to soft with him. He is a MUCH worse piece of shit than I ever imagined.
Back in the fountain scene there were quite a few red flags of him building up to suicide by cop, something which was not at all lost on Becky. Now that we know how Bonnie died, that Becky found her, that he blamed her (do we REALLY think he never did that before he showed up with the gun?) and the VERY likely background of emotional and physical abuse thanks to ToeDad, everything he did screams of him taking himself hostage.
“If you don’t do exactly as I say I will die and it will be your fault, just as it was your fault that your mother died.”
Which come to think of it puts a horrible edge on the fact that he was willing to climb out through the window in the middle of traffic.
And even after everything has gone done and his threatened suicide by cop turned out to be getting-his-faced-bashed-by-Joyce-in-RAGEMODE!!!!, he STILL finds the air to remind Becky, one more time, that “you destroyed our family.” i.e. “It was your fault that your mother died.”
FUDGE YOU, ROSS!!!!!
And Carol knew this.
And the pastors knew this.
And half the friggin’ adults in church friggin’ KNEW THIS!!!!! And no one but Hank said ANYTHING that contradicted ToeDad.
And Becky has carried all that all this time. On top of everything else. On top of Kaitlin’s and Joyce’s rejections. Fear for being hunted by ToeDad. Worry about her living- and financial situation. Trying to navigate the minefield that is Joyce’s social circle. Figuring out her first real relationship. Trying to support Joyce in all the shit SHE has going on. Worry for Billie’s and Ruth’s life.
God, Becky is made of pure adamantium.
And then, out of the blue, Hank let her know that, by the way, your butthole father was wrong, you are rad, your mother is proud of you.
Fuck, the people waiting above for my comic reactions can essentially just read all of yours cause my thoughts on the matter are very similar to yours.
And yeah, this is what Becky has been carrying around. This is why she couldn’t stand to see her dad have one big standoff with the police. This is why she tried to talk him down. And his statement of dying for her is extra poisoned, because as you note, he was taking himself hostage. The implication he was fully willing to leave for her is that you’re gonna watch another family member die in front of you and once again, it’ll all be your fault for not just coming quietly and agreeing to be fixed.
And it’s why she was so conflicted at the fountain.
Morally, she couldn’t watch any of the folks including Joyce who she loves be hurt by her dad when she could contain his violence on herself (and no points for guessing who she learned that skill from).
Personally, she couldn’t take seeing her dad commit suicide in front of her and be once again powerless to stop it.
But also, personally, also morally, she couldn’t lie about who she was or view it as something she could change. She’s too principled to ever go back in the closet and deny herself. So she made the best choice she could. One that kept her dad alive and not holding himself hostage. One that no longer put the people she cared about back in Indiana University in danger. And planned somehow to escape later on, when everyone was safe and go far far away under a bridge somewhere so no one else would die because of her.
And yet she’s remained functional, optimistic even.
Becky is unbreakable, but the world is trying damn hard to try and prove her wrong.
You… you will still wrote your comic reactions though, right? I mean, it would be cool if you didn’t but we kinda look forward to it.
Yeah, some of Becky’s more… scary talent, such as her incredible ability to lie and project a mask and that martyr talent she showed by the fountain has she undoubtedly learnt from her mother.
Growing up with ToeDad seems more fun for every new thing we learn, doesn’t it?
^^ This is exactly why back when Joyce made her phone call home, a lot of folks (me included) were posting comments to the point of, “‘I would die for you,’ isn’t a touching declaration of love, it’s a threat and emotional blackmail.”
And yeah – because that’s exactly what Toedad was pulling – and it’s exactly what Carol was threatening.
And Toedad was willing to make good on the threat, and just yeah.
Toedad and Carol were both cut from the same bolt of cloth – and that Carol hasn’t gone full-on awful yet is because she still thinks that Joyce can be manipulated into compliance. Becky has escaped the worst of her problems – now it’s time for her to repair the damage Toedad caused.
Unfortunately for Joyce, I think the worst of her problems are just beginning. To whit: Expect Carol’s emotional blackmail gloves to come off in their next interaction. :\
Ouch, yeah, that is more than likely…. unless their next interaction is about Jocelyne coming out, in which case I suspect Carol will try to enlist Joyce against her.
To clarify: Jocelyne coming out would not be awful, but something my mother did with me a lot is throw me off balance by taking emotional blackmail gloves off and getting me on the defensive retreat mode and then triangulating against one of the other sibs – using her forgiveness and thus return to affection (never mind that I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place…) as the metaphorical carrot and her with gloves off snide sniping awful as metaphorical stick to recruit me against my sibling in hopes of getting me to pull a Ruth-like, “well do you have to provoke her?” type auxiliary emotional blackmail in private with sib.
… and I could totally see Carol using Joyce’s initial confusion on trans stuff as a tool to drive a wedge between Joyce and Jocelyne like that (and thus Joyce and Becky because I am pretty sure I know who Becky would side with in such a fight and it wouldn’t be Toemom).
Aaaa now I’m really worried for the next time Joyce and Carol are in the same room together… :S
I can’t help wondering where adaptable, accepting, supportive Hank was before the last day or so. How did Joyce become the type of person she was the day she arrived at UI if this Hank existed at all? Did Carol keep him so totally suppressed or is this the first time in her life he’s spent any time with Joyce without Carol?
On the other hand, maybe the very subtle influence of this Hank is why Joyce has been able to accept Becky, Dorothy etc. in spite of her indoctrination.
Hank WASN’T this Hank before the last day or so, just like Joyce wasn’t this Joyce until the last weeks or so.
How that journey happened for Joyce is the major point of the entire comic for me. We see less of Hank’s journey, but it is made possible by Joyce’s example.
But yeah, they both have something very good in them from start, and I’m sure Joyce owe a lot of it to Hank.
“made possible by Joyce’s example”. Maybe ’til now he only saw her as another Carol, but suddenly he sees some Hank in her too, so he’s allowing himself to be a little more Hank.
(We sure bend the names into verbs and adverbs around here.)
Nah. This is Hank. This is who Hank’s always been. And he’s probably a large part of the reason Joyce is how she is. Both how she was at the start and how she’s reacted.
He’s a Joyce who’s never had to confront all the stuff he’d been taught was wrong before. Like her, he’s got all kinds of wrong, hurtful ideas, but his instincts are right.
He went to college something like 25 years ago? Never got close enough to any out gay people or even atheists for them to challenge his beliefs. Went back to an insulated community and church and still never had those beliefs really challenged.
He’s not like Carol because he’s willing to let those beliefs take second place to actual people, but they certainly shared the beliefs until now.
It’s a reminder that what we each have experienced is NOT what someone else has experienced.
Some people have done horrible things to me, not because they were evil, but just because of what they were taught by people they were incapable of questioning. I just wish more of them would learn to think for themselves.
Makes you wish you could set up a Go Fund Me for Hank to pay for a divorce lawyer. I also wonder if Carol once had the spirit of Joyce for Hank to put up with how vile she is now…
Those of you who make a habit of reading my posts can just as well bookmark this page, because I will link to it A LOT!!!
I think this will turn out to be one of the most important Becky moments in the entire comic, on par with “pit you against anything else in my life, you will win every time”, “Hot Dang, I have a girlfriend” and “I’m gonna be a fuckin’ scientist”.
I think this will turn out to be the moment when Becky stopped running and fully started to embrace her new life. From the moment she and Kaitlin forgot to lock the door (but really, since the moment her mother died), she has only really had three choices – trust Joyce to accept her even when she breaks the script their community has set up, live under a bridge or give up and live by ToeDad’s rules – and Bonnie’s final lesson to her was that THAT would literary have meant her death, sooner or later (“the danged extent of my allowed aspirations“).
She chose to trust Joyce and because Joyce is awesome and God answers lesbian prayers, that turned out really well with friends, shelter, food, 9000 year old corn, ToeDad behind bars and the most awesome Dinosaur Chick as an added bonus (thanks, God).
But Becky has spent her entire life learning that what she does and is now is WRONG and sinful. That doubt won’t be magicked away. But from now on, every time Becky is in doubt, every time she questions her life goals, every time she questions her self worth, and dedication, her ability, she will remember Hank telling her that her mother is proud of what she has become.
From now on Becky can do what she does not DESPITE of what they have told her but BECAUSE her mother is proud of her.
Comic Reactions: (sorry to the thread above, last night some stuff went down that’s got me all fucked up)
Panel 1: And the mask slips fully to the floor. This is Becky just as vulnerable and alone as she was up in her room with Dina or on the steps in front of the dorms with Joyce. She’s straight up being haunted here. Stock still.
Also, Hank. Hank, I’ll admit I’ve been scared of trusting you fully. I have a lot of trust issues I’ve kind of inherited from all the shit that went down with my family, where individual moments of support would get me to let down my guard to then be slammed brutally by some angry ranting email or voicemail singing paeans to my genitals or accusing me of destroying the family. So, I hesitate on fully relaxing my guard, even in fiction of fully trusting a parental figure to really rise to the challenge and improve genuinely on these things.
You, sir, you’ve destroyed those misgivings and worries I had for you. Like Becky’s closet, the house I held them in is a smoking ruin, with those misgivings running free into the wild.
I can still be disappointed in you, but I trust you now to get to the right place in the end. That when your third and eldest daughter comes out to you, that you’ll have some core of strength within you to accept her, maybe not at first, but in the end.
Reaching out to her, telling her she only needs to reach out if she needs anything. It’s small, but so critical. It’s a kindness she’s been sorely missing this last weekend and for most of the last year and a half as she’s suffered in silence from having discovered her mom’s suicide.
And it’s a huge growth for Hank. He’s no longer seeing her as “the lesbian” that he’s trying to tolerate for his daughter’s sake. He’s seeing her as Becky, the kid who’s been his daughter’s best friend. The girl who’s been beating herself up for a year and a half over her mother’s suicide. The girl who’s entire religious community abandoned and hunted down.
And he’s reaching out to her like he would any other daughter. He’s adopted her and that’s so crucially important. I don’t know how much more fucked up I would have been if the last little piece of my family hadn’t adopted me during the maelstorm of awful. If they hadn’t modeled what actual supportive family looks like. So I’m so tearfully happy to see Hank provide that for Becky.
Becky may be a lesbian, but it shouldn’t be used to define her, especially by those that view that as wrong. Who she is as a person should be used, which is a spitfire of a woman that wants to help others. Hank seems to see this more and more now.
Hank is Hanking it just right. Just the right thing to say at just the right time.
And you are right, this is when Hank helps Becky fully for HER sake, not for Joyce’s. This is when Hank adopted Becky as his daughter, and that means the world for her.
(OK, to be really fair – THIS was when Hank adopted Becky. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/indebted/ . We just didn’t learn the extent of it until now)
(Also, sorry about stuff. We are happy when you write here, but don’t feel pressured to whatever noise we make.)
Nah, I’m happy to write this stuff, cause I wanted to anyways. It’s just delayed because an old friend reached out after crossing a major moral threshold and I’m trying to figure out my moral and legal responsibilities to put an end to it.
Panel 2: Holy fuck that Becky face. She’s not just haunted, she’s being hunted by those memories. That’s straight up fear on her face. Fear and deep self-blaming sorrow. She’s right back there, the little girl at the doorway seeing her mom unresponsive on the bed with the pills. She’s living that moment in flashback as she’s talking. That’s the face of someone for whom the blue panels are starting to eat her alive.
And it makes sense. She doesn’t know about Ruth and Billie’s day-to-day interactions. She doesn’t know about the blackmail or Ruth having to break up with Billie temporarily because of it. She doesn’t know about any of that.
All she knows is that here is this awesome nice lady, the same lady who gave her haircut money to reclaim her sense of identity for herself, the same lady who was the first queer woman she met outside her roommate who sold her out (understandably), gave her her apartment. That she said she didn’t need it anymore, she’s going “with” her romantic partner. She walked away.
And Becky happily decorated her little bed with pictures of home and thanked that nice lady. And now she’s back and the first thing she hears is Ruth and Billie were shacking up. And both wanted to die. It was a suicide pact.
So now, in her head, it goes, Billie wanted to die with her gf, so she gave away the last of her possessions to her and walked off, with no more attachments to the Earth. And to Becky, most distressingly, she let her, because she was so worried about Joyce* and so didn’t even think about it beyond gratitude.
*This has put her actions with Joyce in a whole new light for me, because I’m realizing that not only was she being all protective sister making sure that Joyce wouldn’t face her PTSD without protection and support. She was also worried that Joyce was gonna kill herself. I mean, that moment when she worries about the language and the sudden mood shift. She probably saw those as signs of depression, probably researched them online in between the job search and dino facts reading, and so was trying damn hard to keep Joyce from going over the edge. Hell, this was probably the main reason she was so insistive on going with, because she wasn’t going to let Joyce go home alone and live with the consequences if she decided to end it all while at home (and she knows that suicide can happen in a home with family nearby, because that’s how Bonnie went)
And now she’s just playing back a loop of finding her mom too late, of reliving the day before that (because you just know Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to make sure her daughter had one last awesome day full of fun things she loved before she went through with her pill plan), and just ripping herself apart. It’s brutal to watch.
Yeah, that is downright terrifying and I have no doubt you are right. What Becky thought Billie was about to do is her greatest fear, right there. Worse than anything ToeDad or Carol or whoever could do to her.
Three big things I like about this strip:
1, Willis gets that sometimes unexpected kindness can pull your mask off in a way that all the horribleness in the world won’t come close to. Here, Becky, is excoriating herself for missing the signs in Billie, to Hank, who I think to some degree she was expecting to agree with her and give a very blamey “well next time you know to be more careful” type of response or something of the sort. And as much as she was openting up to him because second dad, she was not expecting a kindness from him. And then he’s kind to her with a compliment that will mean more to her than any other compliment she could possibly have ever received – and that’s what shatters the mask. Been there. Sometimes when you’re barely holding it together, someone being awful is easier to maintain composure through than someone being kind.
2, Becky’s self blame which is… yah. Not something she deserves at all, but something I can relate to a lot. “I should have seen it” is a thing I’ve felt my share of before. :\
3, Becky’s response to Hank’s kindness is to go in for a hug – because even after all she’s been through, she’s still brave enough to let herself be vulnerable. Becky is way more resilient than people give her credit for.
Yeah, I think you’re dead on on her expecting some blamey statement coming her way. Because that’s what she’s gotten from everyone but Jocelyne this last weekend. Hank not doing that, rising to that extra level. It’s a good amazing thing to do after she takes that huge risk in revealing all that vulnerability.
And fuck yeah on her resilience. I’m fucking inspired by her, because I know just how hard it is to just keep going when you’re on the raggedy edge and you have to be resilient to survive. It wears you crazy thin. But Becky keeps on going, as best as she can on fuel she fundamentally does not have and the bill later will be high for all she’ll have to process. But for now, she’s still running and that’s everything and that’s amazing to see reflected in a character in a non-misery-porn way (look at this inspiring person defeat their poverty with the power of dance [and a healthy gift of money from some rich guy], why can’t any of the rest of you manage that?).
You just made me realize why I get intensely uncomfortable with ppl who are being all, “Oh you’re so strong” and whatever. And why I’m so glad that Hank didn’t pull this huge long speech about how Becky is this Strong Independant Woman who can Overcome Anything and she’s his Inspiration and whatever.
It’s the misery porn thing.
And I think Becky would also be intensely uncomfortable with it if he had because it’s just a lot of pressure when someone decides for you that you’re going to be put up on this pedastel as their source of inspiration when your own situation is already emotionally trying.
On the other hand, I kind of hope ish that will come up from someone (likely Roz because, “SO BRAVE!!11!1!eleventy!” is the kind of thing Roz would do without realizing how intensely uncomfortable it is to be simultaneously pedasteled and pity-objected like that [and yeah I do realize I’m excessively verbing my nouns today] and then she’d likely get all defensive and think it was a compliment for her to use you as her inspiration porn) to someone at some point because it’s a thing I don’t think I’ve seen treated at all in media before.
Panel 3: And there’s survivor’s guilt in a nutshell. Right there on her face, eyebrows curled like she’s about ready to cry.
She blames herself for her mom’s death and no one from her old culture told her otherwise. Not her father, not her church, not her pastors. Hell, the most of a bone that Toedad threw her was blaming it on “Satan”, but he undid that when Becky was outed, blaming Satan inside of her for her “corruption”, thus confirming in Becky’s mind her worst fears that she was responsible.
And it’s to be expected that Becky would. Things like suicide are tough and it’s real easy to blame yourself and promise yourself that next time you’ll see the signs, you’ll react faster, you’ll get there in time. I tend to rip myself apart when I miss a mere attempt by a loved one, so to miss a full completion? Yeah, I can see why Becky is in a panic state here.
She’s devastated by this moment and so impotently powerless to figure out how to really help. And it hits extra hard, because that belief that “next time she’d be faster” was probably also what she was using to cope with the suicide. The false belief that next time, she’d be on top of it, so it wouldn’t occur. She probably was also was taking some pride in taking her lumps but keeping Joyce alive and more or less well this weekend.
And now, she doesn’t have that comforting lie between her and her fear anymore.
Oh, and I’m now 100% convinced beyond any doubt that the suicide in the blue panel we saw was indeed the one that eventually killed Bonnie. Which must extra fuck up Becky, because she must have been so thankful to find that her mom was still breathing, to have responded and called emergency services or her dad fast enough to get her to the hospital. To get her stomach pumped. Probably even thanked by medical staff for her quick thinking.
And then Bonnie suffers in the hospital for days, maybe weeks, organ failure caused by the pills. And Toedad calling it all cancer. Cancer caused by Satan. And all that “quick thinking” was for naught. She simply wasn’t fast enough in finding the body in the first place, from preventing it from ever happening in the first place. This is the nightmare that Becky’s been dealing with on top of everything else for a year and a freakin’ half.
Not able to talk to anyone about it, because her father was so insistive on keeping it all quiet and calling it cancer, so that “embarrassment would not shame this family” and he wouldn’t lose the esteem of his fellow church members who probably whispered and gossiped about it, referencing her every rebellion and reaction to her father’s abuse as signs of “damage for not having a mother” or as “Satan still corrupting that family” or worst of all, on “oh, look how much of a mess that family has always been, are you surprised?”
Cause, I’ve been Becky in this panel. Embarrassed about talking about something I’m going through, not wanting to dump that on another person. Certainly not wanting to ask for help, even though I probably needed it, because I just assumed that all my crap that I was dealing with would just be an imposition to everyone else, ruin their good day in a way I couldn’t abide.
She’s broken in this panel. Not irreparably, but just beaten down by all she’s been coping with and limping on her last leg. She wants Hank to be able to go home, cope with the stuff with his wife with a clear head, not presume too much from his offer and misstep her boundaries with him (and we know she’s big on boundaries after her conversation with Joyce about her assault).
But she’s also just defeated. She turns away, pushes her hand out. Says she doesn’t want “anything” right now, because right now, she’s in a bad tailspin, back in a bad place. Maybe a place where she thought a little about “joining her mother” now that she was alone with her father’s physical and emotional abuse.
It’s her at the most vulnerable she’s been all strip and it’s because her mask has been weathered away by all she’s had to deal with in constant microaggressions this weekend. And by all the memories of her old house, those old ghosts clawing at her, following her back to her safe space in college.
Yeah, Becky has very little left in that panel. Her mask is gone. Her strength is almost out. Her hope of keeping Billie alive is gossamer thin. Her guilt for all the pain she has or believe she has caused Joyce and Hank and Billie and even Bonnie is crushing her.
Panels 5 and 6: Cause Hank rewards that vulnerability.
This is the single best thing Hank could have done here and by doing it here he’s exceeded A+ dadding into a whole new category of just dadding on a celestial level.
Cause Becky is broken and vulnerable, talking about stuff she was straight up forbidden from talking about, and assuming that everyone will reject her if she Debbie Downer likes this. But Hank doesn’t. He takes it in stride, doesn’t pity her, just tells her what she’s been aching to hear since she came out, since her mother left her.
That her mother would be proud of the person she is now. That she wouldn’t have thrown her away like her father or her church or Carol. That her mother, in her mind, is looking down from Heaven and proud of her actions. Of the woman she is, of her moral efforts to do right by the memory of her.
That the one person who’s opinion mattered the most to young Becky would have supported her and loved her like a parent is supposed to do.
And it’s the world to Becky, that curled up head, those eyes nanometers away from bursting into tears, that tight hug to his back. This is all she ever needed and it was in the perfect moment and she knows now that Hank is her dad. That he accepts her fully and has her back. That she has family again on top of what she’s managed to carve out of Joyce’s friends at college.
She doesn’t want anything from Hank, because she doesn’t know that this is something she could ever get, but he does give it to her. The validation, the pride in herself, the link to her mother, her community, her entire childhood. And Hank gives it to her when she is at her very lowest, when she think it is all going to be as bad again as it was when her mother died.
Her mother speaks to her again through Hank’s mouth. Her mother is proud of her. And Gosh to Darn if any Billie is going to die on BECKY’S watch now.
She is BECKY!!!! She is Rad, and cool and likes girls and dinosaurs and she is a lesbian and she wants to read about corn and Joyce will stand by her forEVER and God answers lesbian prayers (she is a lesbian) and she has a girlfriend and a haircut and she is into girls and HER MOTHER IS PROUD OF ALL THAT!!!!
Hank is one of those people who belong to a conservative sect who are naturally a lot nicer than their sect typically allows a person to be.
By which I mean: Hank believes some fucked up shit, but at his core, he doesn’t have it in him to turn his back on a person who’s hurting. Like Joyce, he’s a genuinely nice person, and he genuinely cares about others. He is a nurturer by nature. This is why, when he lets go of what he feels he “should” do, per his religion, and does what he feels is right, he pulls out some A+ empathy and caring.
Becky, indestructible Becky, is just tumbling into darkness and Hank is all “Fudge this!” and throws the switch on a billion-candlepower lighthouse to light up the path back to her mother.
Damn. My glasses are all wet for some reason…
And Becky, on the other side of that fourth wall are a bunch of people who are damn proud of you, too. And of Dina. And of Hank. And of Joyce.
Thank you Cerberus, for writing, I was looking for you. And to Bagge and Ischemgeek and many others (I don’t want to leave anyone out) who did too. Willis, this is my favorite webcomic and and is beyond amazing. No, not Amazi-comic, that would be weird. It’s just amazing. So good.
Thanks, yeah, we have many really good commentators in this forum. And both Hank and Becky are AWESOME here.
Something that get’s to me is that despite her mask and how fiercely protective she is of her independence and how rightfully suspicious she can be of authority figures, Becky still accepts Hank without problems and questions. She takes his support, his consolidation and his message from her dead mother and HUGS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
THAT is one of Becky’s greatest strengths. The ability to – despite everything – allow people to get close to her and help her.
Yeah, before Hank’s turn around I was really concerned about the direction DoA was going in portraying Christians. But Hank is a really well balanced character that brings a lot of nuance to the comic. He can not approve of gay sex but still be a decent, well-thought man. Go Hank!
Actions speak louder than words; he has provided shelter, aid and comfort to an out-and-loud gay person. That’s practically burning bridges right there.
With Hank leaving I guess we won’t see the thing I have want to see since he talked to Joyce alone in the church lobby. I want to see how he acts towards Joyce and Becky now when Carol and the other church members are around.
The true test of character is not how someone treats you alone or in your peer group, but rather how they treat you in front of their peer group.
I’m just curious to see if anyone is still going to criticize Hank over this “oh my god Hank you let Becky talk for THREE panels before making her feel better, how could you”, “Geez Hank you haven’t given Becky ANY money, you monster”, “why haven’t you even adopted Becky yet, shes almost your daughter anyway”
Well, I think Hank in this strip is the AWESOMEST OF THE AWESOME WITH EXTRA AWESOMESAUCE but I STILL think he should slip Becky some cash. Not because he his a monster if he doesn’t, but because it would be a really easy way for him to do her a TON of good.
I mean, we ARE an argumentative bunch, sure, but – in Walky’s words – we DO have room for some nuance.
I feel like Mr and Mrs. Brown will be getting a divorce in the nearish future. Poor Joyce… But its obvious they disagree about nearly everything and at the very least Mr. Brown is miserable and tired of it.
There’s someone in my life I’ve tried for years to help and ended up causing myself huge amounts of pain that I still haven’t recovered from, and I’m not sure if, at some point in the future, they end up drinking themself to death.
I guess I’m wondering now what I’m going to think if it does happen. Am I going to blame myself? Will I start being on the lookout like Becky here? Is this something I’d be allowed to move on from?
I don’t know how to feel right now. Today wasn’t great.
And yeah, if that does happen, you’re likely going to blame yourself. You’re also going to understand that’s a normal, expected reaction and it isn’t really your fault. That you are allowed to move on and that you will move on, but that it will probably take some time.
I am super happy with this storyline and how it seems to be wrapping up here.
On the other hand, I do wonder, and I keep thinking of Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye bends and bends until he can bend no more, and has had enough.
Hank has been willing to change, to grow, and to accept. I’m just scared that some day he’s going to find there are limits to how much he can bring himself to change.
But that’s for the future, if ever. Here, at least, he’s doing the amazingly right thing.
i am unreasonably happy and sad at that last panel. I was so disappointed that Hank was walking away without hugging Becky and then he says that and oh my god it’s happening again. I can’t take this, not right now.
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That made water come out my eyes ::T_T::
[font size=+40](⁎⚈᷀᷁.⚈᷀᷁⁎)[/font]
“What’s this, a tear?…I didn’t know I could shed tears.” – Prince Laharl
Begone foul Feels…
Huh, guess I do have emotions.
Emotions superior, Soundwave inferior?
How when he has so many allies? You got Ravage, Rumble…
But then you also got Buzzsaw who’s a friggin’ Murder Bird.
That feel when you realize that you can feel feels. #relatableiguess?
DAMN, Willis found one more feel for the books final act.
……..
Well, yes. Those are effective feels. But I’m sure we’re going to get more feels than this.
Yeah, I think I see some large Feels waves coming our way…
I imagine that some nights Willis just sits in an elegant arm chair, stroking a cat while dressed as Poseidon. He grips hold of his magnificent trident and gently presses a button on the desk in front of the chair. He purses his lips into a sadistic smile as the words escape his lips. “Release the feels.”. His words come out sweet, but at the same time heart wrenching. He leans back and sets the trident down, replacing it with a remote. One press of a button, and dramatic piano music plays. He elegantly reaches to the desk, trading the remote for a crystal glass with red wine in it. He speaks once more. ” Now, let us revel in the suffering of the internet.” And then he reads comments so that he can randomly correct people for as long as he so wishes, until he’s had his fill. As if it were a form of sustinence.
….do you not draw sustenance from feels or something?
REmember, he’s not done yet. We’re bound to get more, they just may not be of the ‘happy’ variety.
Yeah but he made me like Mr. Brown even more then i already did. Like i want Mr. Brown as my dad
I actually felt my eyes water up a little bit. for me thats a lot.
Hope your eyes don’t shrink! o_o
God…God damn it, Willis… (;_;)
Freakazoid agrees.
My eyes are incapable of producing tears, but my heart twisted into the tightest knot for a few moments.
God damn it, Willis… I was not ready for such feels TT.TT
I audibly made a cross between an “aww” and a whimper when I read the last panel.
“Look! Water is leaking from her eyes.”
“It’s what they call tears. It’s a sign of their weakness.”
Hank: Best Character.
Movie writers take note, this is how you make characters progress and evolve in a short time, well several Comic years but you know what I mean.
I’m hoping we get to see some more of him, especially since his divorce looks pretty inevitable at this point and I think that would be a fantastic story. Well, an awful one too, but you know what I mean.
AWFULLY FANTASTIC
Fantastically awful.
awfultastic !
Falafel!
Now you got me hungry.
Awfully awful?
Wait…
Awfully hungry for fantastic falafels? 🙂
I’m not one to hope for divorce, but when it needs to happen, it should.
well, Joyce is autobiographical, so
JOYCE PORNLORD WITH TWINS
no wait
So It’s Pregnancy?
I know the odds are against it succeeding but if anyone could reason with Mrs Brown, it’d be Hank. And I think he’ll try like hell before he gives up on her.
THIS. Hank is such a great Dad because he puts family first, above all else. It’s why he can accept his daughter’s friendship with a girl who, he believes, is a sinner. It’s why he he doesn’t argue with his wife, even when she spews hateful bile. Divorce would SHATTER his family, and he would do whatever it takes to prevent that.
What does the bible say about divorce, though?
If you don’t look at the Jesus bits, it says that divorce is easy and can be used whenever a man wants a new wife.
The Jesus bits are pretty against it though, and sadly, more importantly for Hank, his particular religion is pretty set against it as well, so breaking out of his relationship may mean breaking with his entire religious community.
And then there’s that one thing that Paul said about marriage, which in context was just one piece of the larger message of “just keep with whatever you’re doing now because Jesus is coming ANY DAY and we should focus on that instead”, but which everyone interprets as don’t divorce and monogamy only.
I hope they dont’ divorce. I hope that he’s able to help his wife come around. It would be a lot more fulfilling to watch her come around as well and embrace her children for who they are, than it would be to watch them divorce and dissolve into bitterness.
I also really worry about Joyce if they divorce. She’s grown so much, but look how upset she got when she realized her parents lie to each other. If she felt like she destroyed their marriage…
Certainly not soon, okay, at least a year or two comic-time?
Well, she might not blame herself. She could end up blaming one of her other siblings for destroying their marriage. Hopefully John, since he’s a dick.
Yeap, Hank’s just plain awesome.
shhh shhh do you hear that? its the sound of nobody disagreeing with you.
“Actually…”
Nah. Can’t do it. 🙂
I can!
Actually, that’s the sound of the shrieking eels!
…
…
…
Was that not where you were going?
Shrieking eels should be the focus of every conversation. Unrelated, but important: if an eel knows you, and like you, they will cuddle you like a very long cat.
The Eels are the best! I liked My Beloved Monster LONG before Shrek!
what
Yup, Hank blew away the last of my fears and reservations right here. This is pure unadulterated A+ dadding right here and he hits all the best notes I was scared to hope to see from him.
And there’s nowhere you can go to learn this; you pick this up from your own parents. “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree”, etc.
Hank must have had a helluva dad as he was growing up himself.
Except of course if you do learn it.
You’re not completely doomed if you had shitty parents.
I’m particularly bothered by this post in response to Cerberus, who, from what she’s shared here, did not have the best of parental examples.
Our folks teach us stuff, what ends up mattering is how we deal with it.
It’s just sometimes we’re left with bad teachers and have to pick up the slack.
Counterpoint: Dina.
I bet she is glad to hear that even if it leads to a sudden flood of tears.
ARGH EMOTIONAL AGONY
Becky’s found one person she can be open with.
Surrogate dad?
Not sure Becky knows how to be ‘closed’ with anyone. But, it probably is nice that she knows he won’t attack her for it.
Which is why she’s talked to Joyce (or anyone, for that matter) about her mother’s suicide. Why she spent a happy day hanging out with Joyce before giving even a hint she was in trouble or why.
Becky’s a master at being closed – likely because she had to be to survive childhood with Toedad. She just covers it all by being wacky impetuous Becky, because nobody likes a Debby Downer. We’ve seen it in her again and again.
Sure, we joke about her nuking the closet from orbit, but you might notice she only did that after everyone who mattered already knew – Ross had found out and she’d confessed to Joyce. She was out and there was no going back in, so she might as well own that. Make it seem like it was her own choice.
Yup, all of this.
She’s really good at hiding her feelings behind the mask of Wacky Becky. And the few times she lets that mask slip, it’s only with people she fully trusts or because she can’t hold it in anymore. Joyce after she was rejected and had lost all hope, Dina when Dina dropped the Toedad on campus bomb, and here now with Hank.
Moments of extreme stress that she can’t paper over with Wacky Becky anymore. And happily, all three turned out well. The only outlier is when she was kidnapped by Toedad and trying to be honest with him.
She still is closed. She doesn’t show her negative emotions or how she’s feeling hurt. And her mom might be something to do with that- a lot of people get the mistaken idea that depression looks like being sad all the time. So if she’s just ALWAYS HAPPY and ignores the bad feelings, then they won’t get her! That’s how it works! Totally!
I’ve known a few people who had depression and used this coping mechanism. It doesn’t work.
(I don’t know for sure if Becky has depression- but honestly it wouldn’t surprise me with everything she’s gone through. Probably some PTSD at least, from both her mom’s suicide and Toedad’s kidnapping.)
AWW ;~;
HANK I LOVE YOU
Dead Lisa from Funky Winkerbean possessed Hank in the next to last panel.
Can’t be. If the Funkyverse invaded this comic, then the last panel would be someone making a halfhearted smirk at the utter futility of existence.
The last panel would just be Ruth then?
The last panel is always Ruth.
..With Mike peeking in from the corner.
Mama! Oooh (Any Way The Wind Blows!)
I don’t wanna die!
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all!
*Epic guitar solo*
And at least half the commenters now have that stuck in their heads. Not complaining, though, there is never a wrong time for Queen.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, Willis! 😛
Worried those eyes will keep growing until they swallow the whole universe.
They’re like big black holes into the soul.
And out!
she’ll keep our universe safe inside her glowing becky soul
Thanks for a Saikano flashback I didn’t need.
Becky’s eyes confirmed as the dumbiverse’s singularity.
It’s always a good line, and Becky will value it more than most. Go Hank.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT THIS
SO HAPPY
SO SAD
HELP
happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin and when you can balance it on its side like i imagine it is now for becky then you experiences every side at once allowing you to truely feel both.
I remember when I used to really dislike Becky’s character.
oh man. how do you feel now?
Now it must be a fictional dislike. Really was obviously the keyword.
Nah, it was ‘character’- they originally were writing her name using the Kanji for “Lesbian”, and only just switched to the romanized spelling of “Becky”.
But only because Les Bean already claimed the direct translation. 😛
The more we see of Hank… the more I wonder how he’s married to the harpy that he is… opposites might attract but this is too extreme
I wonder if it was a case of the same catalyst causing two distinct reactions. I wonder if the Browns’ relationship with Becky’s parents caused Hank to become more critical of his church and Carol to double down on church teachings.
I actually think it might’ve started way back when Joyce told them off and used scripture to do it. If Hank is the kind of person who bases his opinions off of interpretation of the scripture while Carol is the kind who bases it off of church doctrine (and honestly we know Hank is that kind of person because he’s changed churches based on doctrine), then Joyce would have genuinely changed his perspective on how to treat people, while just making her mother think “oh god, she’s straying from the beliefs of the church.” Which… is roughly how they reacted, Hank proud that his daughter stood up for her beliefs and made him think, Carol genuinely not happy.
This schism in thought leads to others, which leads to others, like where Joyce most belongs or how Becky should be handled, and suddenly you end up with the situation right now.
family obligations/pressure?
We don’t have much clue yet of what Hank was like when they got married. He may have been much like Carol in those days, but unlike her has evolved in his views for whatever reason.
He was a lot like (exactly like) her (and John) just a couple of months ago, comic-time. I don’t envy him the task he’s got ahead of being a bigger influence in Carol’s life than their manifestly toxic church is, but I can’t think of anyone fitter for the job.
(Carol’s a faint hope of rescue. John? screw him, he gets to say goodbye to his sisters forever. unless Jocelyne feels up to wandering into his life for the occasional deadly well-aimed zinger, and then right out again each time.)
Most of the evolution we’ve seen in his views has been from Joyce’s lead. It’ll come down to whether Carol will listen to his reasoning (Joyce can make her own decisions, and the Lord’s been telling him to listen to her more). Just, y’know, Carol…
A fundie Christian evolving?😂
^ this, I have a lot of fundie Christians in my extended family (not my immediate family thankfully, I’d legitimately have killed myself by now if I had to deal with that sort of thing daily). They are incapable of changing to the level Hank would have needed to
It took them something like 30+ years to reach the point where they’ll tolerate a black man having married into the family, and they still don’t treat him very well (they tolerate his existence for the singular reason that murder is illegal and they didn’t manage to drive him off with anything else). And they’re still passive aggressive as fuck to anyone who isn’t so conservative that they think Trump is the incarnation of God’s will.
They’re the worst kind of people, and they can’t change because they think that EVERYONE ELSE is wrong and needs to change to fall in line with them.
People like Carol or my family don’t change. There’s no catalyst strong enough to instigate short of God himself descending from heaven and bongo-slapping them… and I kind of doubt that’d be enough.
If Hank were like Carol until recently, then there’s no way he’d have changed this much in so short a time.
People change. The two of them might have been pretty close when they got married but as time went on they diverged.
People who are opposites can get along perfectly well until put under pressure which can reveal how truly different their beliefs ultimately are.
There is actually a specific dynamic I can’t remember the name of but it literally always falls apart because any relationship pressure reveals how very different they are and leads to arguments.
P.S. Leave the Harpies out of it, they just want to sit in their bird nests and preen, they do not want to be associated with people who take their religion too far.
Basic psychology can explain this.
Two people, very similar, are taking a test. Both have an opportunity to cheat. One does. one doesn’t. The one who doesn’t becomes convinced of the rightness of their action. No good person cheats. Honesty becomes a mark of their personality and a guiding principle.
The other becomes convinced of the value of cheating. Everyone does it. Only fools would don’t cheat. Those against cheating are just hypocrites, since everyone cheats. They are the smart and honest ones.
Small differences multiply and magnify over time. The book to read is “Mistakes were made but not by me”. And that’s your book recommendation of the week.
Hank himself said that since Joyce told him off, that he’s done a lot of praying and has chosen to open his mind and trust his daughter. Initially he came off as basically the same as his wife, he’s gone through a lot of growth in a short amount of time. Just like Joyce has.
Joyce’s mom hasn’t reached this decision yet. For whatever reason, she isn’t ready to. I think it’s pretty rare for two people to have this journey at exactly the same pace, in my experience one usually outpaces the other. And I bet Hank has been really, really gentle with his wife and not really confronting her- so she doesn’t feel like there’s any journey to make.
Perfect words. Hank just hit a home run.
And that ladies, gentlemen, and others is how you dad.
Correct. Any male can be a father. The extra-special ones become dads.
A noble title, true.
im a lady and i want to be a dad
my offspring shall know me as….Lady Dad
Well, Mom is an equally awesome title. But you do you. 🙂
all you need in order to be a dad is bad puns and honestly i have that in spades
so u know what screw the gender binary
Hell yeah! Rock on! ^__^
Spades suit that well, I had bad puns in hearts once, but it got messy.
Huh… I’ve heard of people wanted others arrested for puns, but cardiac arrest would be new ground.
“They send the heart police to find you and put you under cardiac arrest”
BOOOOOOOOO
the best of all puns get made into diamonds
And their respective punsters join a club of sorts, you can hear them shuffle about, but they always split before I can make out the faces.
Well then I guess I’ll never be a dad, because my puns are AWESOME.
I think puns are, in and of themselves, considered bad to those of the population that have no wish to be an awesome dad. If you wish/are an awesome dad, then puns are already great.
Nononono, puns are always bad. To laugh at a pun is an insult – the correct response which all must aim at is the long suffering groan.
That is the sound of true appreciation.
I never said laugh, I said great. And the worse they are for haters of puns, the better it is. You want a pun so large that it groans under its own mass.
heh. puntier: ASCEND.
Lady Dad: Patron of single parents everywhere?
Honestly, that’s gotta be one of the best superheroes I’ve ever heard of.
………….to boldly go where no one have gone before!!!
Any doubts about Hank are gone. Kind words are a nice salve for Becky.
well you can’t doubt someone who sells propane and propane accessories.
Wrong Hank. This one is Hank Brown, the propane guy is Hank Hill from Arlen TX.
>last panel
OK WILLIS FINE JUST SHOOT ME RIGHT THROUGH THE HEART
;A;
Shot through the heart, with Willis to blame. He gives feels a bad name.
No one can save us, the damage is done.
This paints a smile on Willis’ lips..
Bloody sad plot twists at his fingertips..
He gives us Weells, the ones that run over us an our hearts
Re: alt text: my god, Willis, but at what cost?
*eyes embiggen* God? THERE IS NO GOD ONLY ZUUL.
When someone asks if you’re a god, you say…
YES
Hey, nobody choosed anything!
Awww man, Hank. You’re a good one.
OMG… the FEELS! *sniffle*
Damn you Willis, I thought I became too jaded to feel things beyond “hungry, horny, sleepy” back in 1998.
If I become a functional human I am blaming you.
THE EYES SHALL CONSUME ALL!!!
Soggies may rule…
Dab dab dab
Do not stare into the Void or the it stare back at you.
Hank really does consider her family. Yer a good dude, Hank.
So where’s Billie going to live? In Ruth’s room with her? I presume that Ruth’s losing her RA job, so I s’pose they can be roomies.
I’m still hoping Billie and Ruth rooming together somewhere while Sal moves into Ruth’s old room as the new RA. Just try to mess with Sal, Mary!
Sal as RA? It won’t be Mary trying to mess with her…
Yeah, AG/Amber would be first in line.
I just liked the thought of anti-authority Sal becoming an authority figure.
But I can picture her making sure everyone is ok. Ruth seemingly ruled through implied pain and suffering. Would you really want to get on the bad side of a bad-ass chick who drives a motorcycle who’s friends with roller derby women?
Well, again discounting Amber. It would make for interesting storyline. With Carla it’d probably be Mary trying to get her fired. And I believe Sarah’s the only other option, and it seems like she’d be against it. Plus, no major plotline seems to jump out at me with her anyways. You gotta drive the narrative, right?
It just occurred to me that as a freshman, Sal probably can’t be RA.
Maybe Sarah? But I think the last thing in the world she wants is people coming to her with their problems.
Who else on the floor isn’t a freshman?
Just make Mike the RA, there are no mothers on the floor so there shouldn’t be any problems there.
Except that Mike recently made it clear that he isn’t limiting himself to just mothers. Fathers, daughters, sons and farm animals should all be scared if Mike becomes RA!
Mike didn’t ever limit himself to mothers, he just limited the transaction of nickels to mothers. I thought that was quite clear.
Fathers are cheaper.
That would be Carla…
Yes, please.
She did offer to solve anybody’s problems! (for cookies). But her way might be more trouble than the RM wants.
I think Carla would scream “NO” so loudly, if offered the job, that they would hear her in China.
Yeah, Carla would want no part in that job.
My sleeper pick, though it would make the RA more functional of a presence, would be Rachel because she would probably be quietly competent at the job in a way that Ruth so very wasn’t.
Also, she’s caught Chloe’s eye. So, maybe.
She might have a job, though as a continuity nod I’m guessing that present job would be as a check-out clerk.
I’m still hoping Sarah because it strikes me as completely appropriate for a future lawyer to have to learn how to deal with a bunch of losers expecting you to solve problems yo don’t care about.
Carla and Grace (I think?)
Carla. Which would be amazing.
It would be absolutely ridiculous and therefore the best
But, would it be cold and swift?
I don’t know, but there would definitely be pie!
I’m not even sure it would be ridiculous. The more I think about it the more I think it makes a lot of sense.
Isn’t Rachel not an RA? I think I remember a conversation between her and Carla way back when about ‘training freshmen about how Carla rolls’. And perhaps also Other Rachel? I mean, if the two of them are rooming together and involved with each other, then maybe they got together or met in the previous year?
*a sophomore, not “not an RA”. I really need to sleep more.
There are more than seven characters in this webcomic. Why not a new/background character as RA?
Ooooh. That sounds interesting. Also opens up a story arc for why the new character was willing to move during the semester and presumably after having already gotten settled elsewhere.
Suddenly Guns makes their triumphant DoA appearance.
That didn’t really work out well…oh you mean the character.
Cannon answer: NO GUNS EVER!
And yes, “cannon” is deliberate here.
Now give me big anime eyes…
Here, Baby.
There, Momma.
Everywhere, Daddy, Daddy.
Tsk. Well now you have to finish the parody. .😤
Grow ‘en, flow ’em,
Got to have big anime eyes!
Nooooooooooo!!! Becky, it’s not your fault! :’-(
Maybe she’s worried about it being her fault….
…. but it might also (in part or in whole) being a defense mechanism. Telling herself that she would be proactive about spotting the signs might have made her feel calmer about the possibility of suicide in her life, giving her some sense of control or at least awareness rather than leaving her at the mercy of random, capricious, and abrupt tragedy.
……. I can grammar, honest!
I think this might be a both/and situation.
She’s blaming herself for not seeing the signs and for her mother’s death and she’s protected herself for years on the thought that now she would know better and now she would always catch the signs in time, and she feels like she failed that once again.
logic doesn’t work well with emotions in determining fault.
can hank be beckys dad too now
it worked for shawn in boy meets world
*cries into shoulder*
NOW IM CRYIN FROM TWO SETS OF FEELS
oh yay someone knew what i was talking about.
But that would make Carol “Mom”. *shudder* And Joyce her sister.
I mean, his kids have already adopted her as a little sister…
I think he already is.
and if not more of a dad than toe was at the least
So, there was something she wanted after all.
“Deserves”? Who (or what) “deserves” what? (or who?)
Yes.
Gotham. Batman.
Becky deserves at least one supportive adult? Hank deserves a hug?
(Actually, Willis has said before that sometimes the title gets disconnected by dialogue rewrites.)
She’s got two if you discount current college students cause she’s also got older sister Jocelyne. She’s building a little nest of a family and it’s really beautiful to see.
I read this as Becky saying she didn’t want anything (Panel 4) when really thinking she didn’t deserve anything.
That’s a pretty common way my guilty anxiety-brain works, anyway. Dunno if it’s what Willis was implying, but I appreciate the subtlety if so.
I am crying. I understand how Becky feels, and thank you Hank. You just stuck the landing for the weekend. You said the right thing, the compassionate thing.
Wow, Willis is writing a sympathetic parent character! This is like the opposite of a Damn You Willis moment!
This obviously can’t go on for long. Hank is going to die in a car wreck on the way home, isn’t he?
nope he dies from the big C. it falls off the word college on his way to his car killing him.
More like he takes a giant step backwards when he finds out about Jocelyne.
He’s being kind, and down right fatherly, to people that probably a couple of weeks ago, would have looked down on with disdain, at best. I think he’ll be able to handle it. Just give him a week to reconcile what happening right now. Undoing decades of toxic behaviors/thoughts/viewpoints can’t happen overnight.
I’m way more optimistic about that than I’ve ever been thanks to this strip. I think he could even actually handle it relatively okay, which is way different than what my fear was saying like last strip.
I’m more comfortable thinking he’ll come around in the end. I still think the actual revelation will be pretty nasty. He’ll take some time to accept it.
Which isn’t too far from how I see Joyce reacting, though it’ll be quicker with her.
Just like with Becky and with Dorothy.
There’s definitely going to be a divorce brewing when he gets there.
Definitely potential, yes.
I think we’ve seen a lot of Carol’s negative side, here. She might have an awakening like Hank’s, or perhaps just show a different side.
…. or it might all go South. Hard to say at this point.
I doubt she’ll become a more reasonable person. She has lived most of her life with that ideology of hers and making someone to renounce something they were thought since they were kids it’s hard.
Which is exactly what I would have said about Hank before this book began.
Which isn’t to say that Carol WON’T take a different road, but it’s also not to say that she will.
One of the things that I think was suggested by Joyce going “this is why we changed churches so much” is that Hank has >always< seen being good to others as a key part of his faith, and that he was searching for a church that combined that with an unabashedly dogmatic Christian approach.
My parents are very much like that. We changed churches a lot when I was a kid for pretty much this reason: doctrinal differences, weird culture, that kind of thing. People who are very interested in Christianity are attracted to fundamentalist churches because there’s a similar level of passion for the material there; but people who have interpreted the main message of Christianity as being mercy and compassion and forgiveness and helping others and who have committed to that as a central part of their religious beliefs make poor fundamentalists.
If she can look Becky right in the eye and stick try to barbs in her after what her dad did and knowing full damn well what happened to Bonnie, I just do not see her suddenly feeling remorse for that.
The next time she does or says something monstrous like that, I can’t see Hank standing for it.
In my experience, people with deep religious beliefs that suddenly have those beliefs challenged in a way they can’t ignore either begin breaking away from them, or double or triple down and declare everything that’s trying to convince them otherwise “evil”.
If Carol is falling into the latter camp, it’s entirely possible she’ll see Hank “turning away from God”… and come up with some excuse about maintaining the purity of her home or wtf-ever to ignore all the dogma against divorce and woman-respect-thy-husband and crap and leave him. Those types are real good at talking out both sides of their mouth, even with the same verse.
I want a Becky. T.T
And a Hank. T.T
not me. i wouldn’t know how to take care of them. or afford it at this point in my life.
It’s pretty simple. Hank’s self-reliant and can even pitch in a bit, and all Becky really needs is a bed, some fast food, her Dino-chick, and some friends.
Ah, but now it’s two paychecks to support four, because we’re dragging Dina along too. She might still get money from her parents, and Becky might find a job, but that’s alot of ifs for Yumi or Miados to balance.
The friends bit is even trickier.
Oh, Hank, there just might be hope for you yet.
Of all the things he could offer her right now, that one’s pretty near the top of the helping. (Now, how long til one of them realizes she’s bed less again?)
three comics with becky in it is my guess.
AWW becky nuuuuuuu 3:
awwwww he’s her new dad <3
OK, Hank. I’m still a bit miffed about how you neglected Becky. The least you could do would be to…
…take her aside so she could talk to you slightly more privately
…give her sympathy by light touch
…and say goodbye to her
…and ask her if she needs anything
…and give her the chance to open up to you
…listen to her as she does
…make sure she got the message that you will help her when she needs it
…in short, be the parent she desperately needs
…oh, you did all that. Sorry, Hank, you are daddying right. Wait, what are…
…Yeah, sure I suppose you could also tell her that her dead mother – that you knew – would approve of – be PROUD of – her. That what she has become would not be something to be ashamed of in her mother’s eyes. And do it when Becky is at her most vulnerable, having her mother’s suicide hit home the most. Yeah, I suppose you could do that too.
Sorry, I have to make a call.
*yells at phone* “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T MAKE THE ‘DADDY OF THE YEAR CUPS ANY LARGER?????'”
any larger and it would be a swimming pool!
If your Dad of the Year cup isn’t big enough for a yacht, Dad harder.
Willis is going to need to make room on the phone charging thing.
The phone-chargy table.
Damn, I thought I got the term that had been used for the mantle right.
Nope, it was even funnier. I had it right the first time, but scrolled up to double-check because Willis’ twitter feed is right there.
Then I went and checked.
Yep. He’s still working on the smaller moments, when it comes to the big ones? Hank is proving himself to be a pretty dang good dad.
Hank DOES explain Joyce’s unswerving faith in Dads.
…Which adds quite neatly to the list of Things Joyce Is Right About.
– Everything can be solved by falling in love (corroboration: Becky and Dina)
– Dads know how to make things right (corroboration: Hank)
– Crime escalates (corroboration: Dingdongs -> Car chases -> Burglary)
– Walky is a poophead (corroboration: Walky)
Becky would also like to add:
– God is good, and also kinda rad (corroboration: My girldfriend, my best friend on a motorcycle and a gosh-danged real-life superhero)
Damnitt, Jim, we need a bigger kiln. If we’re gonna celebrate the Dad of the Year, we need to do it RIGHT.
Yup, Hank’s getting a divorce after he goes back home and tries to deal with the reality of his self-imposed life.
Carol is honestly the most tragic figure in this strip. Her entire life is about to be destroyed. Her friend tried to kill her daughter, her daughter goes to school with lesbians and non-believers, her other son is estranged, her other daughter is about to come out as trans, and now it looks like she’s going to be divorced sooner rather than later.
Supervillian origin story.
Speaking from her perspective, and ‘woe is me’, wouldn’t it be her son is trans? I mean, we know that Jocelyn is a woman, but Carol wouldn’t consider her to be one.
nah her daughter is trans
Jocelyn is a girl Carol just doesn’t know it
Jocelyn’s gender isn’t changed by Carol’s perception of it
That I get, it’s just that bryy seemed to be portraying it from Carols view, her thoughts, if you will. And for her, her son thinks he’s trans. We however, know Joycelyn is a she, and has always been one, and has just been misgenders her entire life.
Sorry, weird technicality thing I’m pointing out here. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding what bryy was thinking. Wouldn’t be the first time it happened.
welp, I think that given our medium, which is comments on a webcomic on the internet, there’s no excuse good enough to misgender Jocelyn, especially when that can cause dysphoria and outright harm to real trans people who are probably reading this webcomic and may even be reading this comment right now. (hi guys. stay safe out there.)
that was kinda harsh and i’m gonna assume you have good intentions so i’m gonna add that i thought that bryy was speaking from their own perspective, not carol’s. i didn’t read it as having signifiers that it was what carol thought, more just what carol was going to go through?
It’s alright. Like you said, our view on what bryy said was different. Carol stating that she has two daughters, while accurate, would have just been out of character for her. It’s both simple and complex for me to get, if you understand my meaning.
If bryy had actually been giving Carol’s internal thoughts, that would have been acceptable. Describing her situation from outside, as it read to me, since it used “her” instead of “I”, referring to Jocelyn as her daughter is preferred.
No, there’s just not a good reason for us to support Carol’s wrongheaded views (This notwithstanding that it’s not Carol’s stream of consciousness, but rather framing people’s relations to Carol; therefore ‘her other daughter’ is appropriate even if the alternative wasn’t horrible.)
I may have messed up somewhere there, wasn’t my intent to support her views.
haha i feel like Sarah could definitely one-up her in tragedy. i mean i love me some good Carol angst but the thing that makes it for me is that core self-righteousness and refusal to see any of her contributions to her own problems. and while that technically is a good old-fashioned Greek Tragic Flaw…it’s less of a flaw where i feel sorry for Carol, more of one where i just kind of want to point and laugh except she’s so caustic i can’t
idk i’m kind of defining tragic here by how relatable i find the character but like there’s a difference between Sarah pushing everyone away to find that she has feelings directly impacted by not opening up and Carol pushing her children and husband away because she won’t acknowledge that maybe things are even a little screwed up
but ALSO if we’re going back to Greek tragedies you have to be screwed over both by fate and by yourself. both things that you can’t control, and your own personality. so i mean…technically yes…and there’s room for a good novella about Carol the tragic figure…but i wouldn’t actually want to read about Carol feeling sorry for herself because of her own actions??? idk i feel like this is where this is going and if that’s not correct then i apologize
I really can’t muster up any sympathy for Carol. All the impending tragedy you mentioned could be completely avoided by her exhibiting basic human decency, and the tiniest bit of compassion.
Though I suppose that’s tragic in its own way. So much misery that she could avoid inflicting on herself and her family if she could just crack her indoctrinated, hurtful beliefs ever so slightly. Though the thought that she’s so indoctrinated in her the worst of her beliefs that she actually admires Ross, while she worries about Joyce’s soul is the most tragic part of it all.
This is no tragedy. For Carol to be a tragic figure she would need some redeming quality that makes her fall tragic, as well as a tragic flaw. It’s the reason some don’t consider The Scottish Play a tragedy. Macbeth doesn’t have enough of a redeemig quality to make his him a tragic hero.
It is a very sexist POV, but I suspect that the tragedy in the usual Shakespearean sense is that Macbeth was a seemingly loyal underling who was driven past his own tipping point by his wife’s ambitions. I think that would be the traditional interpretation, at any event. Not necessarily the best one, but probably how kt would have been seen in that time.
That’s an interesting interpretation, and one I haven’t heard before, but I’m not sure I agree with it. I love Macbeth as a play, but his fall comes far to early to really be tragic. We never see him demonstrate any redeming features. Othello loved Desdemona, and acted nobly in interacting with her father. So we see him at his best before everything goes wrong. Macbeth…. finds some witches, and decides to make their prophecy happen by his own hands. Not to mention there is textual evidence to suggest he had talked about killing Duncan even before encountering the witches.
I think her fatal flaw may be that she cares, more than anything else in the world, about being a good person.
Which would be fine if she didn’t have a horribly screwed up definition of what “being a good person” meant.
I agree that she has that flaw, but she’s made up of horrible flaws. She’s missing the other side of the equation, ennobling characteristics. For the fall to be tragic there alhas to be enough good in the person that it makes tge fall sad. Carol has yet to exhibit any redeming characteristics.
This is only a guess right now but I’m thinking that Hank had entrusted Carol with telling Joyce what happened to Bonnie. Carol, instead of telling her that she had committed suicide, lied to Joyce and made up some tale about cancer. The reason is likely going to be some attempt to cover up the likely cause (Ross being an abusive asshole).
The fact that Carol seemingly attempted to cover up Ross’s wrongdoings by lying to Joyce (and lied to him about doing it) may be the final straw for Hank.
Now I want to know who in the DoA cast will be the Greek Chorus. I mean, ya gotta have one for a tragedy, right?
I think that’s the Rachels. Maybe Sierra and Agatha too.
For DoA, you’d definitely have a _Geek_ Chorus.
Mandy + Grace.
Word of god!
(See alt-text!)
Never happen. Hank would rather die than destroy his family, whatever his personal beliefs. He’ll go home, lie to his wife, and try to make things better. It’s what he does.
At some point, that destroys the family too.
If he can’t find a way to get Joyce & Carol to reconcile – which would have to involve Carol changing, he’ll eventually have to choose between them. He’ll definitely try to keep the peace and support both, but that’s not always possible. For now all he’s been able to do is separate them to forestall the crisis, but that’s only a temporary solution.
And then there’s the family explosion that is Jocelyn.
I’m not sure it’s going to possible for Hank to make things better for everyone. And dying won’t help, even if he’d rather. I think that point’s been hammered home sufficiently.
If/when they divorce, it will be at a point where it merely acknowledges that their family has already fallen apart. He might struggle with the idea that he’s destroying it, but the damage will already have been done.
I agree, she is tragic.
She’s the tragedy of the closed mind and the inflexible moral barrier. She’s so dead set on being the best Christian, following the right rules, getting her and her family to Heaven that she’s burning through the actual people in her family en route to perfection.
She lost one son by her inflexibility. She’s pushing away her daughter because her need to fight the war against the Homosexual Agenda precludes showing actual love and support to her actual daughter who was in pain and needing support. She’s losing her husband, because he is also seeing the cracks in the moral edifice and it’s rubbing his moral code wrong. She’s most definitely going to lose her other daughter, because there’s no way she’s going to be anything less than awful to her when she comes out or is outted.
At the end all she’ll have left is John, the granny-thieving moral cesspit, who is nonetheless “right with the Lord”.
And her central tragedy is all of this could have been so easily fixable, may still be easily fixable if she could just get off her track and reach out and treat these people close to her as full humans rather than props in her epic struggle to be the perfect “Christian mother” rewarded in Heaven.
It’s the tragedy of someone with all the tools to stop the path they are on, but refuses to take any of them and is hoist by the natural consequences of those actions.
Perhaps Becky can rip off Carol’s petard?
And tear her welchet asunder with many hooks!
None of that! Unless you want your figgin toasted on a spike.
Officially referring to Hank as “Father of the Year” after this in a non-ironic way.
It seems that Joyce coming to Hank’s college has not only had Joyce expand her knowledge and grow as a person, but has made Hank grow as well, arguable at a faster rate than Joyce. Perhaps Hank was this all along, and just needed a push to…having difficulty wording this. Powerful dad moment.
I don’t get this whole Hank growing as a person perspective. There are tons of signs all over the place showing that this is who he’s been the whole time.
Hitler was a jew?
He’s always been the nice guy who put people and family first, before dogma. Like Joyce. He just hasn’t had them conflict before*. Unlike Joyce.
Before now, he was shown in his brief earlier appearances to have some pretty disturbing beliefs and attitudes. He’s also openly said he’s trying to learn from Joyce and admitted he’s still having trouble.
*Unless the mysterious Jordan was such a conflict and he failed then, but we don’t know.
I think it’s the active showing that attributed as growth.
This is something that desperately needed to be said, and it’s something Joyce or Dina could never have said. For Joyce Bonnie was just a mother figure, and Dina never knew her or the culture they came from. But the adults knew her. Carol or Hank or the pastors, they knew who Bonnie was, they know what her daughter has gone through and what she has become.
“You have destroyed our family,” said Becky’s father.
Carol didn’t contradict him.
The pastors didn’t contradict him.
In fact, they did all they could to reinforce the idea that Becky had become something bad, something to be ashamed of.
If her own father thought she had become something despicable and unclean, if her best friends mother (who almost was HER mother as well), if the pastors (both the youth pastor who was cool and the pastor-pastor who knows everything), and all the other adults in church thought she was something to be ashamed of… wouldn’t her mother have agreed with them? She was one of them, right? And Becky will never be able to ask her herself.
NOPE, ENTER HANK!!!! Her mother would not only have APPROVED of who she had become. She would be PROUD of it. The Becky she is – with evolution and rad haircut and LESBIAN with girlfriend – is not something bad. Not according to her mother.
So Fudge you ToeDad and Carol and pastors and every stupid git in La Porte – Becky has the approval of the two persons from her old life who really matters: Joyce and Bonnie. Oh, and also of the really cool daddy she didn’t dare to hope she would have.
I’m doing the Becky eyes from the last panel now…
Sometimes, all you need to know is you are just who you should be, other people be damned. Becky is finding out who she truly is, and the one person from her old life that she care for, knowing that she would have still cared for her, it’s proper love.
Becky, stay true to you. Because the real you is a spitfire of a woman that’ll make sure people get what they need. And I think by doing so, you’ll get what you need. A family to care for, and that cares for you.
*still doing the Becky eyes*
All of both of these.
It’s exactly what Becky needed there. Because of all the adults of her old life, the one that mattered most to her was her mom. The mom she blames herself for losing. And so far every other adult from her old life, as you note, viewed her as trash who was responsible for destroying what was left. So to have one person from it go, no, no, you’re not. Also this person you lost would be proud of you. That hits, hard.
mic drop!
Bagge, you made my eyes water! You’ve done what even Willis had not achieved.
And I’m so relieved that Becky finds a bit of relief in tears. Thank Willis! All that forced smiling was heartbreaking.
… Now all we need is a parent figure for Amber. (I’m not saying a good cry would resolve Amber’s trauma, but it would help to make her feel less like stabbing someone.)
In a very real sense, Hank gave Becky back her mother.
I’m really glad that the comments section is acknowledging Joyce’s parents place as parents for Becky too. Especially now, if they weren’t before.
I don’t think Hank could have said anything better to make Becky feel good about herself
I’m not crying you’re crying
actually im not. i teared up though a little which is the closest i have gotten to crying in a couple of years.
I’m dealing with so many feels outside of this I did the same. But that’s more than I’ve been able to do for years as well, I think.
huh someone said something about my comment that didn’t call me a monsters etc. thats good. For some reason the fact i am a bit emotionally stunted makes people think im a monster.
You felt what most commenters felt was the correct feel. It was probably enough for them. Just fine for me. My tears are for stronger pains than this. As well as those toxic manliness things that were foisted onto me growing up.
If you were laughing, I might think you were a monster. Not being a sobbing wreck probably doesn’t even make you some kinda cold, unfeeling machine.
Or at least if you are, getting teared up at least suggests that now you know why we cry.
dont tell the dr who fandom that. they find me a robot/dalek/cyberman because i have never cried over anything on that show.
Eh. Crying isn’t necessarily a good measure of how strongly a person feels. I mean, if a specific person is crying, that probably means they’re feeling more than if they aren’t, but the actual threshold that evokes tears and sobbing is different for everyone.
For example, one time in college I cried while watching the end of The Water Boy by myself. The Goddamn Water Boy. That certainly wasn’t because I was incredibly moved by Adam Sandler’s performance. Like, I’m not even an especially weepy dude most of the time, but the bar was apparently really low that morning.
well i would love to cry. i haven’t cried in years *save for painful things making them well up/fall*
Dang. I would totally send some of my extra tears your way, except I think if I did that, it would probably be both really weird, and not actually helpful.
miados-
*massive hugs* I’ve been places where I couldn’t cry even when I desperately wanted to (combination of numbness depression like Ruth and lots of bully survival training to hide all tears because I was told that just “encouraged them”).
I hope you can find your tears again someday. In the meantime, I can say that whatever you physiological response to things is is valid and no one should be expected to performatively cry to have their sadness accepted as genuine.
Well most of Sandler’s older movies were just retelling of the Hero’s Journey, so that makes sense.
Not even about “The hollow child”/”The doctor dances”?
I admit I’m surprised, but I have come across people who just find the entire show completely unrelatable, because they find it too inconsistent and weird. Too each their own, I suppose.
Wow, this’ll teach me to renew the comment page before responding. I hope you find your tears again, miados.
well i have seen everything from doctor 8-11 some of 12 and some of 1. no tears from any episode i have seen so far.
Much as I love all Who, I have to say New Who lays the crude emotional manipulation on with a sodding backhoe sometimes. A lot of the bits where I’m clearly supposed to cry, I just sit there feeling embarrassed.
I’m pretty sure we are all crying.
I am.
(Well, I was. Took a while to scroll down this far.)
Sure is dusty tonight.
It’s just allergies. I’ve got something in my eye. It’s the onions. I am NOT. Shut up!
Awwwwww Dang!
Feels for both Hank and Becky. This is really a tear jerker.
I hope that Becky learns that Billy handed over her room and ‘stuff’ so she could live in Ruth’s room with her. Not because of any suicide feelings at that particular time. Billy knew her stuff was good where it was and had most of it in Ruth’s room at the time.
I don’t want Becky feeling all beholden and guilty over Billie who had no feelings for her in general, only that she was asked to do it. (Not to mention was trying to get Becky shipped out to the homeless section so she could have her room back)
True, but given that she was moving into Ruth’s room as part of the suicide pact, I don’t think it’d help much.
mic drop!
was supposed to be in response to Bagge >_>;
Eh, it does kinda work on it’s own.
There are no more mics. Hank dropped them all.
And Becky blew up all the closest.
This is getting destructive.
I know, right? We’ve had femurs removed, Moms had for nickels, and [Comment Sensored For Insensitivity to Abuse Victims].
Dang it, don’t you dare make me tear up… grrr…
be careful not to rust
Dammit Willis, I’m not crying you’re crying ;-;
Super Dad! A++
The fact that Becky opens up to Hank is heartwarming in itself. After a full weekend dodging shots from his wife and the pastors, she still feel comfortable enough around him to let him see behind the mask. As far as I can tell he is the first adult she has opened up to since her mother died.
Poor Becky, she is so scared of loosing more people to suicide but she has no idea how to prevent it. And still she blames herself for not – during the most turbulent and chaotic time of her life – seeing the self destructive tendencies in people she has only known for a week.
And Hank rewards her opening up a thousand times over. He can’t help her with Billie, Joyce and Dina do much more to help Becky find her place than he ever could. But he CAN give her a link back to her dead mother and the community that threw her out. No matter how much noise Ross and Carol and the pastors make, they can never take away Becky’s mother from her. Bonnie would have been proud.
I dont know bonnie so i can’t say for sure but if hank thinks she would be proud who am i to argue
Hang about, I don’t recall the pastors being shown as saying anything? The youth pastor seemed uncomfortable around Becky, but anything beyond that…? Did I just miss it?
It’s more of what they didn’t say, like “I’m so sorry Becky, how are you holding up” or “Your father was wrong for hunting you with a gun” or “Hi”.
Yeah, the culture of silence back home was deafening and I’m really proud of Willis for going into that. Cause it’s surreal suffering awful things in that subculture and just receiving this sort of Stepford Wives’ “everything is fine and also you’re bad for being in that awful situation” vibe back.
The hardest thing to say is ‘hi’. Wait, no it’s not.
I’m not exactly clear on how “what they didn’t say” constitutes “noise”.
Like, there’s this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/politics/; but we don’t know who those people are. Could be literally anybody.
Or there’s this:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/landrum/
The only other strip Landrum appears in, he’s saying “thanks for listening” to his congregation; that’s also Power’s only other appearance.
So, as I said: Powers is very clearly uncomfortable. Landrum I’m much less certain about. It’s also worth noting that Landrum to all accounts did not use his sermon to hammer on Becky– despite what some of the commenters thought was likely.
So I mean, they didn’t respond in the greatest way, no, Powers particularly. But it’s not like Landrum is actually going out there and actively telling Becky that Ross was right, Bagge.
Are you for real?
“You should.. you should go talk to everyone :)”
Translation: get the hell out of my face
But also tot he point: He didn’t say “Hey, I’m really sorry your father held you up”. He has becky in his /face/. She’s come down for a visit. The human response is to acknowledge it. And to acknowledge becky yourself.
The Youth Pastor was pretty strongly implied to be uncomfortable int he presence of Becky and Joyce. Given the explicit lines we hear the congregation give, we can be reasonably confident that indeed, the pastors are not on Becky’s side either.
Also, just to point out the obvious: We can be fairly confident that the rumor mill is turning out that Joyce is the one Becky is sinning with. Now, it won’t be the only grist from the mill, but you can bet your bottom dollar on it being there, and having some presence. This doubtless plays into their reaction when Joyce shows up with Becky in tow, and seems quite fiercely protective of her. There is a reason that Joyce, the gal who responds to Godpertunities, is being snubbed, after all, and people don’t know the full extent of what she’s said or done, or will do. But they know the rumors.
Becky all “NEW DAD NEW DAD I CALLED DIBS”
And just…awwwwww. Hank.
I think Joyce had already called [Insert Inappropriate Synonym Pun Here].
only if you share with your new sister ok becky? joyce probably wont mind.
DIBS!!!!
I came here to feel, but I’m not sure I wanted to feel this much.
Meanwhile, the parent who shunned contact with, criticized, and persecuted the Other has essentially learned nothing and not grown in the slightest.
…. so which is cause and which is effect?
Next strip:
Joyce: Oh my goodness, Becky, how did you get your eyes so big?!?
Becky: I don’t know. Help me, Joyce. I think they’re stuck this way. Please.
Sarah(mysteriously, out of nowhere): It’s too late. You’ll have to shred your job applications and move to Japan to become an anime character.
On the other hand, you will be a magical girl who can summon dinosaurs, so…
Dina: I will be coming with you.
(also, I can’t wait for Cerberus’ reaction post to this one. XD )
Really? Because it looks like you’re doing exactly that. =P
yeah, but I don’t want to. :p
I wanted to wait for her, but too tired to do so.
*Sits smugly in different time zone. Sips coffee.* I can wait…
*Much later, gets up late in the morning. reads comments. Still waits.*
I have A LOT of coffee.
I would never have guessed it from your grav.
Becky is naturally caffeinated.
*runs in from the front door* Sorry, I’m late. Hey, where did everyone go?
*looks down* Coffee, my ancient nemesis…
*Looks up from over the rim of the cup with a manic grin*
I have LO-O-O-O-TS of coffee!!!!
All the coffee?
oh noooooo feeelings
Hank, you are officially Best Dad. I know, your competition is slim, and mostly limited to maybe three competitors, but you have come from behind to achieve it. Well done.
Pulling a Secretariat?
I… I’m not crying…. You’re crying!
I want to be like Hank.
Hank is a good parent. He knows that love is more important than politics or scripture.
Hank knows she’s a good kid, no matter what.
That was something that Becky desperately needed to hear. It was a nice touch that Hank didn’t directly address her core trauma – the sense of guilt over her mother’s death and her need to somehow ‘prevent’ it from ever happening again. Rather, he touched on the real issue. He told her that Bonnie would be proud of her and that, as a consequence, Becky had no cause to feel guilty for what happened to her and has happened to Billie.
If nothing else, Hank has shown himself a true Christian today by remembering that Jesus came first and foremost to heal broken hearts and souls. I think that he’s confirmed today that he regards Becky as a surrogate daughter and that he’ll care for her like she was one.
The real test, of course, will be his other daughter.
Keeping my fingers crossed…
What are you talking ab- OH THAT
Yep. I don’t know what happens if he can’t accept his third daughter.
I really don’t. But I hope he does.
I think that after whatever happened with Jordan happened Hank will do whatever is within his power to avoid losing any more children. So at the very least, I think he will try.
I think that Hank doesn’t have to be ready to accept Jocelyne, he just has to be ready to not throw her out when the time comes.
He’s shown he’s willing to change and values caring and relationships more than dogma, which means even if he’s not ready out of the gate – if he leaves the door open, he’ll walk through it eventually.
And I think Becky did a lot to get him ready to leave that door open. So in a very real way, he owes her for his future chances of a healthy relationship with his daughter.
That’s not nothing.
I’m not crying you’re crying
You’re all right, Mr. Brown. You’re all right. Good job being a capital D Dad.
It’s ok I didn’t need my heart. I can work with it broken.
I know, right? Oh, sure it’s not as if I needed those FEELS for anything else or something.
Someone needs to give Hank a “#1 Dad” mug, because in the Dumbiverse it would actually be accurate.
Major feels…
As someone who lost a parent to suicide and always questioned this myself because I never knew my dad (happened when I was a baby), this hit home so hard. Thank you for giving this to Becky. It’s so important.
Wait, do we know whether Hank actually knows that Becky’s mother killed herself?
If he knows, he’s not really addressing it here. Becky is freaking out over having missed suicide signs _again_ and Hank doesn’t address that at all. And he says that her mother would be proud of her – while not even looking at her. Which would be appropriate for a mother who died of a cause unrelated to the present moment’s drama.
I’d been assuming that Hank knew, and he and Carol had decided to keep it from Joyce. Now it looks like Hank didn’t know. And maybe he’s about to find out, from Becky.
It’s worth noting that Becky’s coping mechanisms have become increasingly brittle over the last few strips, and have now disappeared. This further increases the chance that she’ll actually talk about what really happened.
We may even find out that the gun Toedad hunted Becky with is the same gun that Becky’s mom used to kill herself with.
Willis did say in the comments, a day or two ago, that there is a “third act” to this storyline. To me that sounds like more than a few strips of feels. I think Hank is about to learn something that _really_ rocks his worldview.
And I suspect that, if he and Carol ever had a chance at saving their marriage, this will end that chance. I think Hank is about to be radicalized against the toxic religion their community follows, and Carol will not follow him there, and he will not stay with her.
or, hand knows and has no idea how to help becky deal with it at this point as 95% of his “dealing with this” material is biblical in nature which would obviously not be appreciated at this point, so he used his remaining 5% of exactly what he said.
hank not hand dammit
While it isn’t totally unambiguously spelled out, it seems pretty clear to me that he he knew and that he assumed that Joyce would know also. So it is very unlikely that he was intentionally keeping Joyce in the dark.
And all indications are that Bonnie used pills, and was in the hospital for a while before finally succumbing to the damage they caused.
I took it as he does know, but assumes addressing it directly right now with Becky already on edge would be a dick move.
I also kinda think Becky’s mom would’ve avoided the gun for minimal mental scarring for Becky.
I think, at least with old statistics, pills were the primary choice for women. I think it stemmed from an ingrained cultural thing of ‘not making a mess’. That gun part in your theory made me shudder, Chris.
It was pretty clear that he knows, based on his surprise when he learned that Joyce still believed the cancer story. He was even the one who brought up the subject of how Becky’s mom died, specifically in reaction to seeing Becky freak out after learning about Ruth and Billie being suicidal. If he didn’t know the truth, that whole conversation doesn’t make sense.
I’m not sure what you expect him to do to “address” it, though. Becky already knows what happened, and she already is talking about it, in this very strip, to him.
It is also highly unlikely that Bonnie used the rifle. We don’t know exactly what she actually died from, but since we know she at least tried pills, that’s a safe bet. I also don’t think that even Ross would use that gun again if that were the case, much less chase his daughter with it.
But it’s cannon that she used pills to kill herslef
A pill cannon?
I am 100% convinced that the attempt we saw in flashback was what actually killed her. That she did not “die” in comic only by technicality, hence why Willis went overboard with the content warnings, instead dying later by organ failure caused by the pill overdose in the hospital.
Yeah, Hank knows; he was about to tell Joyce what (really) happened to Becky’s mom in this strip before being cut off: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/indebted/
And I read it as Hank having just turned away to leave, as Becky had said he could go, plus maybe it only occurred to him to say anything at the last moment. But it doesn’t seem careless to me.
Whether or not the comment was directly relevant, I think it’s something Becky really needed to hear, especially because she’s feeling powerless to help those who are at risk in the present, and it’s a reminder that while she can’t do everything, she has still done so much to be proud of.
Becky says that she let Billy down by not recognizing the signs.
What she’s loudly *not* saying is that she feels she let her mother down (again) by not recognizing the signs (again) in someone else. She feels responsible for her mother’s death, and this has returned that misplaced guilt.
Hank’s response does not address the part that was said, but it addresses what was unsaid perfectly.
Y-you’re not crying, *I* am crying!
I wanna ninja-hug Becky now.
Could God draw eyes so big, Joyce’s smile couldn’t eclipse them?
And that’s how anime happened.
Panel 4: Want and need are two different things, Becky.
Onion ninjas! There are onion ninjas in my room!
Right in the gut.
oh becky 🙁
Good man, Hank.
Thank you, Mr. Willis, for giving me hope for mankind.
Have you just made a guest appearance on Alice Grove this week?
This comic keeps making me feel things. Stop it.
DAM–
Dang, Willis. Dang.
OMG Help! There’s this weird water like liquid coming from my eyes!
It’s salty! That can’t be good.
my heart…
Wow, thanks Willis. You just treated my Feels like a man kicking me in the junk.
A single sentence makes him 1000% a better father than her actual dad…
Glad to see Becky open up to someone. She’s usually bouncing all over the place. Being upbeat is fine, but sometimes you have to let the emotions out. Followed by a Half-back hug.
I take back my provisional “Damn you, Willis” from the other day. Well done, sir, well done.
I just got back from moving my daughter to Bloomington to start grad school at IU, ironically enough. So my feels are already on the high setting. This strip actually helped me keep more perspective. So thanks for that, sincerely.
I keep coming back to how awesome this is.
The last thing, THE VERY LAST THING, ToeDad did to his daughter was to do his best to take away her mother. “You destroyed our family.”
The last thing Hank does before going back to the community she fled from is to GIVE HER BACK. “She would be proud of you.” No, no only of “you” but “of the person you have become.”.
I swear, this link will be eroded down to bare HTML and it will be my fault, but what Becky did… what Becky IS, is no mistake. So says Joyce. So says Bonnie (as conveyed by Hank).
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/pit/
Anyway, I have a note her from my cardiologist that says I’m to stay away from FEELS until my sensitive humor calms down but screw it. After all the incredible amount of crap Becky has gone through she really, really deserved to hear this. Well done, Hank. All those prayers have payed off – you have successfully conveyed the message of a God who answers lesbian prayers.
(Bonnie to God: Tell Hank to tell her that I’m proud of her and what she has become… oh, and ask him to buy her a jacket. She will catch a cold going outside like that!!!)
Also, I have been wrong about Ross this entire time. I have been, way, WAY to soft with him. He is a MUCH worse piece of shit than I ever imagined.
Back in the fountain scene there were quite a few red flags of him building up to suicide by cop, something which was not at all lost on Becky. Now that we know how Bonnie died, that Becky found her, that he blamed her (do we REALLY think he never did that before he showed up with the gun?) and the VERY likely background of emotional and physical abuse thanks to ToeDad, everything he did screams of him taking himself hostage.
“If you don’t do exactly as I say I will die and it will be your fault, just as it was your fault that your mother died.”
Which come to think of it puts a horrible edge on the fact that he was willing to climb out through the window in the middle of traffic.
And even after everything has gone done and his threatened suicide by cop turned out to be getting-his-faced-bashed-by-Joyce-in-RAGEMODE!!!!, he STILL finds the air to remind Becky, one more time, that “you destroyed our family.” i.e. “It was your fault that your mother died.”
FUDGE YOU, ROSS!!!!!
And Carol knew this.
And the pastors knew this.
And half the friggin’ adults in church friggin’ KNEW THIS!!!!! And no one but Hank said ANYTHING that contradicted ToeDad.
And Becky has carried all that all this time. On top of everything else. On top of Kaitlin’s and Joyce’s rejections. Fear for being hunted by ToeDad. Worry about her living- and financial situation. Trying to navigate the minefield that is Joyce’s social circle. Figuring out her first real relationship. Trying to support Joyce in all the shit SHE has going on. Worry for Billie’s and Ruth’s life.
God, Becky is made of pure adamantium.
And then, out of the blue, Hank let her know that, by the way, your butthole father was wrong, you are rad, your mother is proud of you.
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS
All of this.
Fuck, the people waiting above for my comic reactions can essentially just read all of yours cause my thoughts on the matter are very similar to yours.
And yeah, this is what Becky has been carrying around. This is why she couldn’t stand to see her dad have one big standoff with the police. This is why she tried to talk him down. And his statement of dying for her is extra poisoned, because as you note, he was taking himself hostage. The implication he was fully willing to leave for her is that you’re gonna watch another family member die in front of you and once again, it’ll all be your fault for not just coming quietly and agreeing to be fixed.
And it’s why she was so conflicted at the fountain.
Morally, she couldn’t watch any of the folks including Joyce who she loves be hurt by her dad when she could contain his violence on herself (and no points for guessing who she learned that skill from).
Personally, she couldn’t take seeing her dad commit suicide in front of her and be once again powerless to stop it.
But also, personally, also morally, she couldn’t lie about who she was or view it as something she could change. She’s too principled to ever go back in the closet and deny herself. So she made the best choice she could. One that kept her dad alive and not holding himself hostage. One that no longer put the people she cared about back in Indiana University in danger. And planned somehow to escape later on, when everyone was safe and go far far away under a bridge somewhere so no one else would die because of her.
And yet she’s remained functional, optimistic even.
Becky is unbreakable, but the world is trying damn hard to try and prove her wrong.
You… you will still wrote your comic reactions though, right? I mean, it would be cool if you didn’t but we kinda look forward to it.
Yeah, some of Becky’s more… scary talent, such as her incredible ability to lie and project a mask and that martyr talent she showed by the fountain has she undoubtedly learnt from her mother.
Growing up with ToeDad seems more fun for every new thing we learn, doesn’t it?
^^ This is exactly why back when Joyce made her phone call home, a lot of folks (me included) were posting comments to the point of, “‘I would die for you,’ isn’t a touching declaration of love, it’s a threat and emotional blackmail.”
And yeah – because that’s exactly what Toedad was pulling – and it’s exactly what Carol was threatening.
And Toedad was willing to make good on the threat, and just yeah.
Toedad and Carol were both cut from the same bolt of cloth – and that Carol hasn’t gone full-on awful yet is because she still thinks that Joyce can be manipulated into compliance. Becky has escaped the worst of her problems – now it’s time for her to repair the damage Toedad caused.
Unfortunately for Joyce, I think the worst of her problems are just beginning. To whit: Expect Carol’s emotional blackmail gloves to come off in their next interaction. :\
Ouch, yeah, that is more than likely…. unless their next interaction is about Jocelyne coming out, in which case I suspect Carol will try to enlist Joyce against her.
D: Both at once would be awful.
To clarify: Jocelyne coming out would not be awful, but something my mother did with me a lot is throw me off balance by taking emotional blackmail gloves off and getting me on the defensive retreat mode and then triangulating against one of the other sibs – using her forgiveness and thus return to affection (never mind that I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place…) as the metaphorical carrot and her with gloves off snide sniping awful as metaphorical stick to recruit me against my sibling in hopes of getting me to pull a Ruth-like, “well do you have to provoke her?” type auxiliary emotional blackmail in private with sib.
… and I could totally see Carol using Joyce’s initial confusion on trans stuff as a tool to drive a wedge between Joyce and Jocelyne like that (and thus Joyce and Becky because I am pretty sure I know who Becky would side with in such a fight and it wouldn’t be Toemom).
Aaaa now I’m really worried for the next time Joyce and Carol are in the same room together… :S
Seriously, go Hank and Ross can fucking ROT for all he did with this. “I will die for you” too.
Ouch, yeah. We thought that one was ugly when we first heard it. We had no idea exactly HOW ugly it was.
Damn, I reread from the beginning once, but I never looked Ross’s actions in light of what we learned about Bonnie.
That just makes the whole thing so much more awful
It all gets just so much more awful with this context, doesn’t it?
And don’t forget about a skull beanie and glittens.
Everybody should have a good parent, even if they’re someone else’s.
Everyone should strive to BE a good parent, even if it is to someone else’s kids.
That too!
I can’t help wondering where adaptable, accepting, supportive Hank was before the last day or so. How did Joyce become the type of person she was the day she arrived at UI if this Hank existed at all? Did Carol keep him so totally suppressed or is this the first time in her life he’s spent any time with Joyce without Carol?
On the other hand, maybe the very subtle influence of this Hank is why Joyce has been able to accept Becky, Dorothy etc. in spite of her indoctrination.
Hank WASN’T this Hank before the last day or so, just like Joyce wasn’t this Joyce until the last weeks or so.
How that journey happened for Joyce is the major point of the entire comic for me. We see less of Hank’s journey, but it is made possible by Joyce’s example.
But yeah, they both have something very good in them from start, and I’m sure Joyce owe a lot of it to Hank.
Which I suppose is what he is getting at here
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/quarters/
“made possible by Joyce’s example”. Maybe ’til now he only saw her as another Carol, but suddenly he sees some Hank in her too, so he’s allowing himself to be a little more Hank.
(We sure bend the names into verbs and adverbs around here.)
I think the person we’re seeing is actually the old Hank, coming back after years of getting too comfortable letting stuff slide.
Nah. This is Hank. This is who Hank’s always been. And he’s probably a large part of the reason Joyce is how she is. Both how she was at the start and how she’s reacted.
He’s a Joyce who’s never had to confront all the stuff he’d been taught was wrong before. Like her, he’s got all kinds of wrong, hurtful ideas, but his instincts are right.
He went to college something like 25 years ago? Never got close enough to any out gay people or even atheists for them to challenge his beliefs. Went back to an insulated community and church and still never had those beliefs really challenged.
He’s not like Carol because he’s willing to let those beliefs take second place to actual people, but they certainly shared the beliefs until now.
I really like that reading of him
It’s a reminder that what we each have experienced is NOT what someone else has experienced.
Some people have done horrible things to me, not because they were evil, but just because of what they were taught by people they were incapable of questioning. I just wish more of them would learn to think for themselves.
> I really like that reading of him
Me too.
Hank is not the Dad Becky wants. He’s not the Dad she deserves. But, he’s the Dad she needs right now.
He’s Batdad.
mY eMOTIONs!
Makes you wish you could set up a Go Fund Me for Hank to pay for a divorce lawyer. I also wonder if Carol once had the spirit of Joyce for Hank to put up with how vile she is now…
Good feels, good feels.
I don’t think this is the first time you made me cry, but dammit Willis this is too much
Hank Brown : Good Egg.
Those of you who make a habit of reading my posts can just as well bookmark this page, because I will link to it A LOT!!!
I think this will turn out to be one of the most important Becky moments in the entire comic, on par with “pit you against anything else in my life, you will win every time”, “Hot Dang, I have a girlfriend” and “I’m gonna be a fuckin’ scientist”.
I think this will turn out to be the moment when Becky stopped running and fully started to embrace her new life. From the moment she and Kaitlin forgot to lock the door (but really, since the moment her mother died), she has only really had three choices – trust Joyce to accept her even when she breaks the script their community has set up, live under a bridge or give up and live by ToeDad’s rules – and Bonnie’s final lesson to her was that THAT would literary have meant her death, sooner or later (“the danged extent of my allowed aspirations“).
She chose to trust Joyce and because Joyce is awesome and God answers lesbian prayers, that turned out really well with friends, shelter, food, 9000 year old corn, ToeDad behind bars and the most awesome Dinosaur Chick as an added bonus (thanks, God).
But Becky has spent her entire life learning that what she does and is now is WRONG and sinful. That doubt won’t be magicked away. But from now on, every time Becky is in doubt, every time she questions her life goals, every time she questions her self worth, and dedication, her ability, she will remember Hank telling her that her mother is proud of what she has become.
From now on Becky can do what she does not DESPITE of what they have told her but BECAUSE her mother is proud of her.
It’s the best kind of scientist.
Becky doesn’t need Toedad.
She’s got a better father.
Comic Reactions: (sorry to the thread above, last night some stuff went down that’s got me all fucked up)
Panel 1: And the mask slips fully to the floor. This is Becky just as vulnerable and alone as she was up in her room with Dina or on the steps in front of the dorms with Joyce. She’s straight up being haunted here. Stock still.
Also, Hank. Hank, I’ll admit I’ve been scared of trusting you fully. I have a lot of trust issues I’ve kind of inherited from all the shit that went down with my family, where individual moments of support would get me to let down my guard to then be slammed brutally by some angry ranting email or voicemail singing paeans to my genitals or accusing me of destroying the family. So, I hesitate on fully relaxing my guard, even in fiction of fully trusting a parental figure to really rise to the challenge and improve genuinely on these things.
You, sir, you’ve destroyed those misgivings and worries I had for you. Like Becky’s closet, the house I held them in is a smoking ruin, with those misgivings running free into the wild.
I can still be disappointed in you, but I trust you now to get to the right place in the end. That when your third and eldest daughter comes out to you, that you’ll have some core of strength within you to accept her, maybe not at first, but in the end.
Reaching out to her, telling her she only needs to reach out if she needs anything. It’s small, but so critical. It’s a kindness she’s been sorely missing this last weekend and for most of the last year and a half as she’s suffered in silence from having discovered her mom’s suicide.
And it’s a huge growth for Hank. He’s no longer seeing her as “the lesbian” that he’s trying to tolerate for his daughter’s sake. He’s seeing her as Becky, the kid who’s been his daughter’s best friend. The girl who’s been beating herself up for a year and a half over her mother’s suicide. The girl who’s entire religious community abandoned and hunted down.
And he’s reaching out to her like he would any other daughter. He’s adopted her and that’s so crucially important. I don’t know how much more fucked up I would have been if the last little piece of my family hadn’t adopted me during the maelstorm of awful. If they hadn’t modeled what actual supportive family looks like. So I’m so tearfully happy to see Hank provide that for Becky.
Becky may be a lesbian, but it shouldn’t be used to define her, especially by those that view that as wrong. Who she is as a person should be used, which is a spitfire of a woman that wants to help others. Hank seems to see this more and more now.
I know. It’s such amazing growth from him. I’m so damn proud.
“…those misgivings running free into the wild. ”
Thank you for this strangely compelling picture. I have an odd mind.
Hank is Hanking it just right. Just the right thing to say at just the right time.
And you are right, this is when Hank helps Becky fully for HER sake, not for Joyce’s. This is when Hank adopted Becky as his daughter, and that means the world for her.
(OK, to be really fair – THIS was when Hank adopted Becky. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/indebted/ . We just didn’t learn the extent of it until now)
(Also, sorry about stuff. We are happy when you write here, but don’t feel pressured to whatever noise we make.)
Nah, I’m happy to write this stuff, cause I wanted to anyways. It’s just delayed because an old friend reached out after crossing a major moral threshold and I’m trying to figure out my moral and legal responsibilities to put an end to it.
Ouch, my sympathies.
For what it’s worth – please consider it a mark of how much I (and others) value your opinions and your writing. And, this was worth the wait.
I hope you’re doing okay through this, and that us big pack of internet dorks who think the world of you helps in some way.
Thirded and fourthed. Cerberus, thanks deeply for everything you post.
Fifthed. Hope you’re managing things okay, that it resolves as well as it can, and know as always we think you’re rad and worth waiting for.
Sympathy via light touch?
Panel 2: Holy fuck that Becky face. She’s not just haunted, she’s being hunted by those memories. That’s straight up fear on her face. Fear and deep self-blaming sorrow. She’s right back there, the little girl at the doorway seeing her mom unresponsive on the bed with the pills. She’s living that moment in flashback as she’s talking. That’s the face of someone for whom the blue panels are starting to eat her alive.
And it makes sense. She doesn’t know about Ruth and Billie’s day-to-day interactions. She doesn’t know about the blackmail or Ruth having to break up with Billie temporarily because of it. She doesn’t know about any of that.
All she knows is that here is this awesome nice lady, the same lady who gave her haircut money to reclaim her sense of identity for herself, the same lady who was the first queer woman she met outside her roommate who sold her out (understandably), gave her her apartment. That she said she didn’t need it anymore, she’s going “with” her romantic partner. She walked away.
And Becky happily decorated her little bed with pictures of home and thanked that nice lady. And now she’s back and the first thing she hears is Ruth and Billie were shacking up. And both wanted to die. It was a suicide pact.
So now, in her head, it goes, Billie wanted to die with her gf, so she gave away the last of her possessions to her and walked off, with no more attachments to the Earth. And to Becky, most distressingly, she let her, because she was so worried about Joyce* and so didn’t even think about it beyond gratitude.
*This has put her actions with Joyce in a whole new light for me, because I’m realizing that not only was she being all protective sister making sure that Joyce wouldn’t face her PTSD without protection and support. She was also worried that Joyce was gonna kill herself. I mean, that moment when she worries about the language and the sudden mood shift. She probably saw those as signs of depression, probably researched them online in between the job search and dino facts reading, and so was trying damn hard to keep Joyce from going over the edge. Hell, this was probably the main reason she was so insistive on going with, because she wasn’t going to let Joyce go home alone and live with the consequences if she decided to end it all while at home (and she knows that suicide can happen in a home with family nearby, because that’s how Bonnie went)
And now she’s just playing back a loop of finding her mom too late, of reliving the day before that (because you just know Bonnie was likely the type of suicide to make sure her daughter had one last awesome day full of fun things she loved before she went through with her pill plan), and just ripping herself apart. It’s brutal to watch.
OUCH!
Yeah, that is downright terrifying and I have no doubt you are right. What Becky thought Billie was about to do is her greatest fear, right there. Worse than anything ToeDad or Carol or whoever could do to her.
And I think you might be right about her worrying about Joyce as well… which put this comic and it’s aftermath in a new light entirely
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/story/
Oh shit, that’s a terrifying new thought too. Becky must have been eating herself alive with guilt after that one.
I am so glad hugs are still fine because BECKY. JOYCE.
It’s good that I don’t want that to be canon, right?
Three big things I like about this strip:
1, Willis gets that sometimes unexpected kindness can pull your mask off in a way that all the horribleness in the world won’t come close to. Here, Becky, is excoriating herself for missing the signs in Billie, to Hank, who I think to some degree she was expecting to agree with her and give a very blamey “well next time you know to be more careful” type of response or something of the sort. And as much as she was openting up to him because second dad, she was not expecting a kindness from him. And then he’s kind to her with a compliment that will mean more to her than any other compliment she could possibly have ever received – and that’s what shatters the mask. Been there. Sometimes when you’re barely holding it together, someone being awful is easier to maintain composure through than someone being kind.
2, Becky’s self blame which is… yah. Not something she deserves at all, but something I can relate to a lot. “I should have seen it” is a thing I’ve felt my share of before. :\
3, Becky’s response to Hank’s kindness is to go in for a hug – because even after all she’s been through, she’s still brave enough to let herself be vulnerable. Becky is way more resilient than people give her credit for.
Yeah, I think you’re dead on on her expecting some blamey statement coming her way. Because that’s what she’s gotten from everyone but Jocelyne this last weekend. Hank not doing that, rising to that extra level. It’s a good amazing thing to do after she takes that huge risk in revealing all that vulnerability.
And fuck yeah on her resilience. I’m fucking inspired by her, because I know just how hard it is to just keep going when you’re on the raggedy edge and you have to be resilient to survive. It wears you crazy thin. But Becky keeps on going, as best as she can on fuel she fundamentally does not have and the bill later will be high for all she’ll have to process. But for now, she’s still running and that’s everything and that’s amazing to see reflected in a character in a non-misery-porn way (look at this inspiring person defeat their poverty with the power of dance [and a healthy gift of money from some rich guy], why can’t any of the rest of you manage that?).
You just made me realize why I get intensely uncomfortable with ppl who are being all, “Oh you’re so strong” and whatever. And why I’m so glad that Hank didn’t pull this huge long speech about how Becky is this Strong Independant Woman who can Overcome Anything and she’s his Inspiration and whatever.
It’s the misery porn thing.
And I think Becky would also be intensely uncomfortable with it if he had because it’s just a lot of pressure when someone decides for you that you’re going to be put up on this pedastel as their source of inspiration when your own situation is already emotionally trying.
On the other hand, I kind of hope ish that will come up from someone (likely Roz because, “SO BRAVE!!11!1!eleventy!” is the kind of thing Roz would do without realizing how intensely uncomfortable it is to be simultaneously pedasteled and pity-objected like that [and yeah I do realize I’m excessively verbing my nouns today] and then she’d likely get all defensive and think it was a compliment for her to use you as her inspiration porn) to someone at some point because it’s a thing I don’t think I’ve seen treated at all in media before.
Panel 3: And there’s survivor’s guilt in a nutshell. Right there on her face, eyebrows curled like she’s about ready to cry.
She blames herself for her mom’s death and no one from her old culture told her otherwise. Not her father, not her church, not her pastors. Hell, the most of a bone that Toedad threw her was blaming it on “Satan”, but he undid that when Becky was outed, blaming Satan inside of her for her “corruption”, thus confirming in Becky’s mind her worst fears that she was responsible.
And it’s to be expected that Becky would. Things like suicide are tough and it’s real easy to blame yourself and promise yourself that next time you’ll see the signs, you’ll react faster, you’ll get there in time. I tend to rip myself apart when I miss a mere attempt by a loved one, so to miss a full completion? Yeah, I can see why Becky is in a panic state here.
She’s devastated by this moment and so impotently powerless to figure out how to really help. And it hits extra hard, because that belief that “next time she’d be faster” was probably also what she was using to cope with the suicide. The false belief that next time, she’d be on top of it, so it wouldn’t occur. She probably was also was taking some pride in taking her lumps but keeping Joyce alive and more or less well this weekend.
And now, she doesn’t have that comforting lie between her and her fear anymore.
Oh, and I’m now 100% convinced beyond any doubt that the suicide in the blue panel we saw was indeed the one that eventually killed Bonnie. Which must extra fuck up Becky, because she must have been so thankful to find that her mom was still breathing, to have responded and called emergency services or her dad fast enough to get her to the hospital. To get her stomach pumped. Probably even thanked by medical staff for her quick thinking.
And then Bonnie suffers in the hospital for days, maybe weeks, organ failure caused by the pills. And Toedad calling it all cancer. Cancer caused by Satan. And all that “quick thinking” was for naught. She simply wasn’t fast enough in finding the body in the first place, from preventing it from ever happening in the first place. This is the nightmare that Becky’s been dealing with on top of everything else for a year and a freakin’ half.
Not able to talk to anyone about it, because her father was so insistive on keeping it all quiet and calling it cancer, so that “embarrassment would not shame this family” and he wouldn’t lose the esteem of his fellow church members who probably whispered and gossiped about it, referencing her every rebellion and reaction to her father’s abuse as signs of “damage for not having a mother” or as “Satan still corrupting that family” or worst of all, on “oh, look how much of a mess that family has always been, are you surprised?”
In Bagge’s words, FUDGE YOU BECKY’S OLD CHURCH!
Fudge them, indeed.
Why are we giving them fudge?
Fudge is tasty.
And fucking is fun, which makes me a bit confused why we use it as an insult*
*) Or rather, I WISH I was confused about it and didn’t know enough about rape culture to know exactly why.
🙂
😐
:\
🙁
I know, right?
I’m a bit saddened that the third one wasn’t an emoji. Does it exist and I just put it in wrong?
Panel 4: Damn, this one hits me in the feels.
Cause, I’ve been Becky in this panel. Embarrassed about talking about something I’m going through, not wanting to dump that on another person. Certainly not wanting to ask for help, even though I probably needed it, because I just assumed that all my crap that I was dealing with would just be an imposition to everyone else, ruin their good day in a way I couldn’t abide.
She’s broken in this panel. Not irreparably, but just beaten down by all she’s been coping with and limping on her last leg. She wants Hank to be able to go home, cope with the stuff with his wife with a clear head, not presume too much from his offer and misstep her boundaries with him (and we know she’s big on boundaries after her conversation with Joyce about her assault).
But she’s also just defeated. She turns away, pushes her hand out. Says she doesn’t want “anything” right now, because right now, she’s in a bad tailspin, back in a bad place. Maybe a place where she thought a little about “joining her mother” now that she was alone with her father’s physical and emotional abuse.
It’s her at the most vulnerable she’s been all strip and it’s because her mask has been weathered away by all she’s had to deal with in constant microaggressions this weekend. And by all the memories of her old house, those old ghosts clawing at her, following her back to her safe space in college.
And maybe that’ll be good. Cause…
Yeah, Becky has very little left in that panel. Her mask is gone. Her strength is almost out. Her hope of keeping Billie alive is gossamer thin. Her guilt for all the pain she has or believe she has caused Joyce and Hank and Billie and even Bonnie is crushing her.
She doesn’t want anything from Hank, but…
Panels 5 and 6: Cause Hank rewards that vulnerability.
This is the single best thing Hank could have done here and by doing it here he’s exceeded A+ dadding into a whole new category of just dadding on a celestial level.
Cause Becky is broken and vulnerable, talking about stuff she was straight up forbidden from talking about, and assuming that everyone will reject her if she Debbie Downer likes this. But Hank doesn’t. He takes it in stride, doesn’t pity her, just tells her what she’s been aching to hear since she came out, since her mother left her.
That her mother would be proud of the person she is now. That she wouldn’t have thrown her away like her father or her church or Carol. That her mother, in her mind, is looking down from Heaven and proud of her actions. Of the woman she is, of her moral efforts to do right by the memory of her.
That the one person who’s opinion mattered the most to young Becky would have supported her and loved her like a parent is supposed to do.
And it’s the world to Becky, that curled up head, those eyes nanometers away from bursting into tears, that tight hug to his back. This is all she ever needed and it was in the perfect moment and she knows now that Hank is her dad. That he accepts her fully and has her back. That she has family again on top of what she’s managed to carve out of Joyce’s friends at college.
And it’s so beautiful to see.
She doesn’t want anything from Hank, because she doesn’t know that this is something she could ever get, but he does give it to her. The validation, the pride in herself, the link to her mother, her community, her entire childhood. And Hank gives it to her when she is at her very lowest, when she think it is all going to be as bad again as it was when her mother died.
Her mother speaks to her again through Hank’s mouth. Her mother is proud of her. And Gosh to Darn if any Billie is going to die on BECKY’S watch now.
She is BECKY!!!! She is Rad, and cool and likes girls and dinosaurs and she is a lesbian and she wants to read about corn and Joyce will stand by her forEVER and God answers lesbian prayers (she is a lesbian) and she has a girlfriend and a haircut and she is into girls and HER MOTHER IS PROUD OF ALL THAT!!!!
It is indeed beautiful to see.
Hank is one of those people who belong to a conservative sect who are naturally a lot nicer than their sect typically allows a person to be.
By which I mean: Hank believes some fucked up shit, but at his core, he doesn’t have it in him to turn his back on a person who’s hurting. Like Joyce, he’s a genuinely nice person, and he genuinely cares about others. He is a nurturer by nature. This is why, when he lets go of what he feels he “should” do, per his religion, and does what he feels is right, he pulls out some A+ empathy and caring.
Amen.
I think you missed the part where she said she is a lesbian.
This made me cry, but in a good way.
Happy tears.
Becky, indestructible Becky, is just tumbling into darkness and Hank is all “Fudge this!” and throws the switch on a billion-candlepower lighthouse to light up the path back to her mother.
Damn. My glasses are all wet for some reason…
And Becky, on the other side of that fourth wall are a bunch of people who are damn proud of you, too. And of Dina. And of Hank. And of Joyce.
Thank you Cerberus, for writing, I was looking for you. And to Bagge and Ischemgeek and many others (I don’t want to leave anyone out) who did too. Willis, this is my favorite webcomic and and is beyond amazing. No, not Amazi-comic, that would be weird. It’s just amazing. So good.
Thanks, yeah, we have many really good commentators in this forum. And both Hank and Becky are AWESOME here.
Something that get’s to me is that despite her mask and how fiercely protective she is of her independence and how rightfully suspicious she can be of authority figures, Becky still accepts Hank without problems and questions. She takes his support, his consolidation and his message from her dead mother and HUGS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
THAT is one of Becky’s greatest strengths. The ability to – despite everything – allow people to get close to her and help her.
Words are not enough to express all my feels.
Whenifwhen someone complains about DoA’s portrayal of christians again, this is the strip we tell them to fuck off to.Yeah, before Hank’s turn around I was really concerned about the direction DoA was going in portraying Christians. But Hank is a really well balanced character that brings a lot of nuance to the comic. He can not approve of gay sex but still be a decent, well-thought man. Go Hank!
Has he outright said that though? Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but unlike his wife Hank seems to have just…stayed quiet about the subject.
Actions speak louder than words; he has provided shelter, aid and comfort to an out-and-loud gay person. That’s practically burning bridges right there.
That was certainly enough for Joyce to be all but cast out
Not approving of queer folks is kinda sorta grounds for, at the least, needing to reevaluate stuff.
It’s just that Hank is doing that. If he was doing this and also going on about how Becky was living a sinful life of debauchery, well, screw ’em.
With Hank leaving I guess we won’t see the thing I have want to see since he talked to Joyce alone in the church lobby. I want to see how he acts towards Joyce and Becky now when Carol and the other church members are around.
The true test of character is not how someone treats you alone or in your peer group, but rather how they treat you in front of their peer group.
He broke an awful lot of social conventions pulling them out of church. And Carol, well she’s going to be ‘fussy’.
it probably won’t be shown but it’d be interesting seeing the first conversation between Hank and Carol when he gets home
I’m just curious to see if anyone is still going to criticize Hank over this “oh my god Hank you let Becky talk for THREE panels before making her feel better, how could you”, “Geez Hank you haven’t given Becky ANY money, you monster”, “why haven’t you even adopted Becky yet, shes almost your daughter anyway”
Well, I think Hank in this strip is the AWESOMEST OF THE AWESOME WITH EXTRA AWESOMESAUCE but I STILL think he should slip Becky some cash. Not because he his a monster if he doesn’t, but because it would be a really easy way for him to do her a TON of good.
I mean, we ARE an argumentative bunch, sure, but – in Walky’s words – we DO have room for some nuance.
I think I did see one person comment on the money part. Though that may have been within the last few days.
oh my god Hank you let Becky talk for THREE panels before making her feel better, how could you
Geez Hank you haven’t given Becky ANY money, you monster
why haven’t you even adopted Becky yet, shes almost your daughter anyway
Exactly, if he was any sort of perfect father figure he wouldn’t have needed to ask Becky if she needed anything, he should have already known
I’m sorry but the jury is still out on Hank
I wasn’t counting this one.
Here come the tears.
I’m so glad Becky has a decent parental figure right now.
I don’t even know how or why her mother died, but for some stupid reason my eyes are all leaky.
She committed suicide. That’s why Becky’s so freaked out over Billie.
And Becky found her.
Fun times.
I feel like Mr and Mrs. Brown will be getting a divorce in the nearish future. Poor Joyce… But its obvious they disagree about nearly everything and at the very least Mr. Brown is miserable and tired of it.
There’s someone in my life I’ve tried for years to help and ended up causing myself huge amounts of pain that I still haven’t recovered from, and I’m not sure if, at some point in the future, they end up drinking themself to death.
I guess I’m wondering now what I’m going to think if it does happen. Am I going to blame myself? Will I start being on the lookout like Becky here? Is this something I’d be allowed to move on from?
I don’t know how to feel right now. Today wasn’t great.
And yeah, if that does happen, you’re likely going to blame yourself. You’re also going to understand that’s a normal, expected reaction and it isn’t really your fault. That you are allowed to move on and that you will move on, but that it will probably take some time.
Related, but a bit off topic from the comic (I hope Willis doesn’t mind), the national suicide prevention hotline in the US is 1-800-273-8255.
I think you put it in your phone before a loved one needed it or the day after.
FFFFFEEEEELLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz
Oh man the Feelz. The Feelz are strong in this one.
I like Hank 🙂
Right in the feels.
I am super happy with this storyline and how it seems to be wrapping up here.
On the other hand, I do wonder, and I keep thinking of Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye bends and bends until he can bend no more, and has had enough.
Hank has been willing to change, to grow, and to accept. I’m just scared that some day he’s going to find there are limits to how much he can bring himself to change.
But that’s for the future, if ever. Here, at least, he’s doing the amazingly right thing.
Today is about feels. Drama can just get in line.
Well, technically yesterday. Or figurative today? The above comic…
…I’m still lost. Damn my sesquipedalian loquaciousness.
Why am I still posting here?
i am unreasonably happy and sad at that last panel. I was so disappointed that Hank was walking away without hugging Becky and then he says that and oh my god it’s happening again. I can’t take this, not right now.
Cheese Dammit! I’m crying at work.