Also, I couldn’t help but think of this song from “To the Moon” when reading that comment – https://youtu.be/nP-AAlZlCkM
And given the context in which it plays in the game, it’s actually surprisingly fitting for this strip.
A smile is just a bit of muscle control drawing the sides of your mouth into an upword motion. if you want to make it seem more smile like try showing some teeth. I have looked into this a decent amount and mimiced it enough already. I just can’t do it without thinking about it typically.
I am a very bad humorist so i doubt I am doing any sort of kidding. unless you meant kid in me in which case i don’t think I am able to become a kid and go in you.
OK, it is completely impossible to tell if you are joking or not now.
BUT, just in case you were serious, I believe that Bagge’s comment was how she thinks Becky would react if she were to learn that Sarah and Joyce became an item.
And I think Bagge’s assessment is spot on for that.
This comment thread reminded me of when someone wrote in a bathroom stall at my school, “text [phone number] for cool dinosaur facts.” That was the only time I ever texted a number I didn’t know; I most definitely did not regret it.
I started to think some about the triceratops. growing up it was my favorite sort of dinosaur. While I think it was the horns it also suspect that when power rangers started I was in elementary school and the blue ranger was among my favorites.
I love that when Bagge made a comment about this being a Dina/Becky conversation, we both claimed to be Dina.
Of course, your comment was rather too silly to be Dina, so it’s obvious you are Becky. You should learn from me, the person with all the good dinosaur facts!
but like when they’ve both graduated college and are independent ladies and oh, hey, maybe they’re living in the same area, and oh, hey, living together sure beats living apart, right, and then oh, hey, i just kissed you while we were watching the gay tv show Becky is making Joyce watch and there are all these feelings????
it never quite stops being awkward, because both Joyce and Sarah are awkward people, but they build this richness between them and they compensate for each other’s awkwardness and it’s beautiful and vivid and alive
and Sarah doesn’t know, exactly, when being Joyce’s big sister turned into just watching her back, but she figures it’s somewhere in between when she realized that watching Joyce fight her own battles was much more entertaining than stepping in. and Joyce doesn’t know, exactly, when she stopped thinking that Sarah knew everything, but it was probably right about when she realized how much solid work Sarah puts into everything she does to get to where she wants to be, and how exhausting it is for her.
they have two cats, and Joyce won’t ever stop complaining about what a mess it is to clean up after their hair that gets everywhere, jeeze louise, because if she was anal about not letting food touch she is just as anal about not letting the cat hair touch everything even if that’s literally impossible; and Sarah comes home from the office and vents about the new lawyer that can spin cartwheels around everyone verbally but doesn’t know anything about real problems. and there are people who make both of them feel terrible for who and what they are, but they patch each other up meanwhile and it’s better together.
Too right. Just yesterday I was worried about her self-care (and her coping skills), but I forgot… this is Sarah, and on her other hand she’s always got her drive to problem-solve. Magnificent.
Also good on Joyce for forgiving and understanding Sarah, but that comes easily to Joyce. Emotional honesty and vulnerability is really hard for Sarah, and she nails it, and I decided it wasn’t classy to make a Jesus joke right there but now you’ve thought of it yourself.
I’m actually pretty terrible at Jesus jokes; none that I came up with just there were funny enough to warrant being considered jokes. Help a fellow out?
I can’t tell you how many times I have felt the same way as the first sentence. I have also told people I have to either make a joke about something or kill someone for it, and the joke is marginally less violent.
Because, as I have said elsewhere, Sarah is not good with hugs. At all. And she is not great with relationships, whether friendly or romantic. Heck, her exact words were: “I don’t want to marry him, I just want to use him for his body once or twice.” Who Jacob is as a person is of little consequence.
So, in light of this, I imagine that a Sarah (at least up until now) and Jacob slipshine would be something like this: Sarah ties up and blindfolds Jacob, riding him hard and good while avoiding any contact that seems to be intimate as well as sexual. It would be a base fuck, nothing more.
And that would not be fair to Jacob, who himself has indicated he wants a relationship, he wants to share feelings as well as body fluids. After all, he turned down Roz, and I’m sure he’s turned down others too. I mean, as Walky said: “Looking like that, -anyone- would hit it.” So it’s just as well that old Sarah never got together with Jacob, really.
I think that “more honest with herself” is a really good way to describe what (hopefully) new Sarah will be.
So as such, I think my imagination still holds, except with the added “bonus” that Sarah -also- ends up unsatisfied, because she wasn’t able to tell herself what she really wanted.
So if they ever do Slipshine, it should be with the (hopefully) new Sarah, which will be a completely different and more healthy situation altogether.
Now imagining trying to play this as a Mass Effect conversation.
Oh man, that’s not where I thought that first option was going… Okay, which option salvages the loyalty bonus? That one’s obviously hitting on her. This one sounds good! Oh! Paragon action! Uhh… did I just hug her…
Things can be so much easier when we quit putting up a front and be honest with ourselves and our friends. Instead of being testy, just say how you *really* feel.
“Oh, that! The, uh, other reason I was acting upset was that you got back just as I was about to, uh, enjoy some private time with, um, one of my toys.”
*a Joyce-shaped blush flees the room, never to return*
BIG SIS!!!! She might be a bit of a bongo sometimes, but she really, really loves her little sis. Sarah says sorry. Sarah is HUGGING???!!!!
I think ischemgeek was right on spot yesterday with Sarah having spent the last week waiting for an implosion that never came. Even after ToeDad, even after family weekend, even after Billie, Joyce never broke, like Sarah did. I think this is Sarah deciding that if Joyce can do it, so can she.
They way things were sucked indeed. But now Sarah sees a way to make them better. Little sis has shown the way.
just do not put to much weight on the contact. I am unsure the line between heaving and smothering physical contact. Even the line between light and heavy physical contact seems to have to many variables to be sure of between different people
Huh. I opened the comments expecting at least half a dozen references to “sympathy via [light|heavy] physical contact” and only found yours. Well the night is young I suppose.
I was completely expecting for them to be fighting and not even speaking to each other after yesterday. Like, MAYBE Sarah would narrowly avoid starting some kind of ongoing feud.
OK, Sarah, I am far less pissed off right now. Yes, you admitted the real reason behind it all: That you were jealous of Joyce. And yes, you managed to do the only possible right reaction to Joyce’s explanation.
I am still upset that Joyce even had to defend her smiling like she did in the first place, because that is something she should not have had to do at all. It really isn’t. You are lucky that she still trusts you enough to do so, that she still believed that you’d be more understanding with that information. She did not owe that to you, but she still gave it.
But yeah, you managed to make a real apology. And more importantly, that hug, coupled with your last line… What you are -really- saying is that your way of caring about people sucked, and you will try a different way, a better way. You will -openly- hug Joyce when she needs it the most, not when she will never be able to remember it, or with a “I hate having to do this” attitude. You are (hopefully) going to see that Joyce’s chat with Dorothy was straight up therapy for her.
And Joyce… Sarah just gave you a verbal gut-punch and you… Well, you are a better person than I am. Even after getting the first apology, I would have replied with far worse than what you did. Your life is a huge mess in which you are finding that black is white, up is down… And you’re still not doing worse than “…I should HOPE SO.” Because you do not want to completely give up on people, ever. You just don’t. That is also why you tell Sarah why you are smiling, to show you haven’t given up on her.
…although maybe I would’ve been a bit more prepared if I’d remembered that yesterday’s strip was these two and not lesbian political rally shenanigans, huh
Yeah. It’s like a minus ten on the maneuver but plus eight on the dismount. It doesn’t completely makenup for the crappy comment, but’s a hell of a stsrt.
You’re more forgiving than I. This is an excellent start, but now Sarah needs to follow through, and not pull this crap anymore. But it’s Joyce’s forgoveness that really matters here, and she is undeniably more forgiving than I am, so I’m willing to bet she has already forgiven Sarah.
The thing about the hug… I think that more than any words, it is the hug that shows that Sarah really, truly understands just how goddamn unbelievably shitty her comment was. Sarah is not a hugger. Sarah is not even a “sympathy via light physical contact” kind of person. Nothing else she could have done or said could have possibly shown how much she is regretting that horrible, terrible comment. And that is why I am at least cautiously optimistic that it will be the start of her pulling less of that crap.
I love their relationship. I love how much Joyce is learning from Sarah who is quite wise and mature and I love how Joyce is getting her to loosen up and realize that she needs to change herself as well love their sisterhood
Fantastic. It takes a lot of strength to be able to say “Who I am kinda sucks. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” I feel like Joyce has done that, and it’s rubbed off on Sarah. I hope Sarah lowering her shields a little turns out well for her.
I can relate to this. Coming to the realization that you’re not a good person, or at the very least not as good of a person as who you want to be, is rough, but actively making the decision to change and grow as a person takes a lot of strength and a lot of commitment.
maybe i think saying it is easy because while i don’t think im a bongo or whatever the other vulgarities turn into here I also feel like i am worthless. or maybe something like talking furniture. something that is there and only noticed when i talk and even then not really thought much of.
It depends on what kind of improvement it is. Sarah had been afraid to let anyone in, or to show anyone she cared. So admitting to Joyce how she’d been feeling, trusting Joyce enough to be vulnerable, and showing Joyce she cared and wanted to change was the first step of making that change. She’ll still need to follow through on it, but its the kind of thing that will probably become easier for her with practice. Not all personal improvements work that way though.
But I want you to know that you do not need to shut up, and you are not worthless, and you most certainly are not unwelcome here.
well i am not an active bongo so i am sure that helps me not be banned or whatever. im not a bad enough person to be hated but not good enough to be noticed or cared about.
I honestly feel that each person is important and noticeable, like, as an inalienable trait of humanity. I care about everyone, which includes you, even though I haven’t met you personally. You didn’t have to do anything in particular to be worthy of care, it’s free.
(I say this because it’s absolutely true for me; I hope it isn’t triggery for you to hear it, if it is then I apologize.)
I recognize that it would way more helpful to be noticed and cared for by people who are actually present in your life, though. Zoelogical’s question is probably more useful to you than my digression. What would you like people to notice?
In my own experience it isn’t something that you ever really finish. For a long time I was unhappy with who I was as a person, and improving myself did require all of those things you mentioned, but over time I eventually reached a point where I was happy with who I was as a person. The thing I liked most about the person I had become though was that I was always trying to be better. Being content with who I was didn’t preclude the goal of continuous improvement. So no, I don’t think it’s something that a person ever really finishes, but I can say that it certainly gets easier the longer you do it.
This is just from my experience though, I’m curious as to how it might be for others.
I said horrible things and mistreated people and I think I cared about people in general, but that doesn’t mean I actually gave a shit about anyone. It took dating a girl to get me to open up to other individuals and to care about them at all and it took her breaking up with me a year later (and several good friends telling me that I was an arrogant condescending asshole and one really close friend after not talking to me for two years telling me he stopped talking to me because talking to me hurt too much and he felt relief every time he stopped talking to me) I was… awful in so many ways. and I think the most difficult part now is that I really didn’t know that I was awful then, so I feel like I can only ever hope that I’m better than that now, because I won’t know until later wether or not I am. Not better than that now per se, because I know I’ve realized and fixed some if not all of the problems I was made aware of, but that I won’t know what problems I have right now until later. In order to get to that point at all I had to be broken, completely shattered. I agree with NoHeart6265, I don’t think it’s something you ever really finish. I don’t know that I had a vision of the future. I’m not sure I really have much of a vision of the future even right now, but fundamentally, when I was made aware of what I’d done to other people and of what it had done to them and when I understood how it affected them emotionally, I wanted to make sure I never did that to anyone again. I sure hope I haven’t made any horrible lapses in grammar or spelling that make this hard to understand.
Yikes, I may have gotten a bit sidetracked there. I guess the point is, it takes something really significant to force you far enough away from yourself to even see the things that might be wrong with you, to see your flaws. It takes even more to acknowledge them and to do something about them. Regardless, that whole process is incredibly difficult and basically… woo! go sarah! or something like that.
I consider myself incredibly incredibly lucky, in that I’m still on pretty good terms with most of those people, including my ex, and I hope it’s a sign that I made some of the right changes and improvements to who I am. It’s been several years since then.
*pfffffffffft* Sorry, the hilarity of this comment has either caused suppressed laughter or caused me to deflate. Do you perhaps have Duck tape, as well as a soldering gun? (Not duct tape. When I’m done here I have some ducks to repair.)
In The Neverending Story, there was a mirror of truth. It was the most horrible of tests. Brave men find they are cowards. Kind men find they are very cruel. People run screaming.
Some, however, make the effort to learn and do better.
Panel 1: Sarah can’t even look her in the eye. And Joyce is just not having her notpology. Oh, that might have come out wrong… heheh, yeah no.
But seriously, I’m so proud of Joyce for calling her out on this. I mean, we know that she gets martyry when dealing with friends she feels she’s wronged in some way, whether it be resisting opening up to Becky about her fears, beating herself up about being bothered by Dorothy drinking at her party, or the emotional fear she built up about her epic fuckup with Sarah.
But here, she knows what Sarah said was not okay and she says that out loud and doesn’t let Sarah just take the easy way out of not acknowledging that she fucked up (and Sarah knows she fucked up, hence her facial expressions since she said it).
And that’s bigger than it seems because we’ve seen Carol. We’ve seen the toxic passive-aggressive environment she is from. So she is more than accustomed to simply viewing that shit as the price of entry. So it’s nice to see that she’s learned how not to suffer it politely anymore.
Panel 2: YAY SARAH!
Like, no, what she did wasn’t right, but here, she’s acknowledging some of her major flaws. Noting her unhealthy behaviors such as her increasing little moments of unhealthy pettiness and general hostility to the hope and optimism of others.
And it makes sense. She’s traumatized from hope and has been locked in a cynical spiral. Maybe even a depressed one for months, maybe the better part of a year. Feeling like deadening herself to the world would somehow protect her from getting hurt again.
But she was letting that make her not her best self. Sniping at Dina’s NRE excitement by pointing out the non-issue of “being a rebound”, snapping at Joyce here, pushing away Jacob rather than risk him seeing the true her and not liking what he sees.
And I feel that’s a big thing when we eventually get to the last panel.
Dina probably already knows it, but Sarah should still say it.
It occurs to me that Sarah and Dina may understand each other better than anyone else in the strip. Most only know the surface that their friend shows to the world.
Panel 4: Oh Joyce… Joyce has been through so much this weekend, been battered around and has truly lost a lot of what she used to believe was her home. Like, she’s got her sister and her dad. But she’s now seen the rot in the church and how quickly it will turn on a “friend of sinners”, she’s seen just how petty and nasty her mom can be and how much of a threat she poses to Joyce’s happiness and safety, and she’s even seen her oldest brother for the mansplaining pile of puke that he is.
It’s so much and she’s just holding on for the ride, because to not smile feels like surrendering to the vast darkness and it’s only been by the skin of her teeth that she’s climbed out of that and into building a home that’s worth a damn.
Panel 6: Sarah, you are beautiful and awesome.
Like, this is the Sarah I was hoping to see follow-up that fuck-up and I’m so not disappointed. And there’s so many layers to her actions here.
A hug and a shoulder to cry on. Seemingly small, but she’s worked so hard to keep Joyce at arm’s length lest she feel dragged into being an emotional caretaker, a role she associates with nearly losing her one shot at reaching her dreams and a year’s worth of heavy bullying. To hug her completely and by her choice?
That’s Sarah pushing through all the defenses she’s thrown up to try not to care again and letting herself be willing to get hurt.
And that comment, yes, it works for Joyce. Her past has a lot of bad in it. The culture she’s coming from has a lot of toxicity she’s been needing to shed. And she’s been told all her life that leaving that pool of toxicity is a sin that will send her to Hell.
She needs to know now that there’s a better to reach for. That she’s on the path to better. And that she’ll have support and allies on that journey. And I’m excited that this might mean Joyce might be willing to take more risks forging her own destiny beyond what she assumes her path “should” be.
And most of all, I’m excited by her phrase because Sarah’s eyes are so conflicted in Panel 5 and so full of emotion and vulnerability in Panel 6. And I think it might be Sarah recognizing that she’s been stuck in toxic old ways too. Being consumed by the ghost of Dana (cause even if it was a mistake to send her home with her dad, it’s not something Sarah could have known ahead of time or something she had many options for given the dire state of her academics and scholarship), trying to push away anyone who gets close, trying to rely only on her survival skills to get through.
I think her statement is her realizing that this way of living isn’t making her happy, it’s just making her feel petty jealousy of other people’s happiness whether that be Raidah’s, Dina’s, or Joyce’s. And that she’s in control of her destiny and can forge a means of emotional support that doesn’t consume her entire life or break into her ability to study and succeed at her dream.
She can reach out without being burned. She can let a few people into her heart and not have the same nightmares re-enact themselves in front of her.
She can make them better with her little sis. Together.
“A hug and a shoulder to cry on. Seemingly small, but she’s worked so hard to keep Joyce at arm’s length lest she feel dragged into being an emotional caretaker, a role she associates with nearly losing her one shot at reaching her dreams and a year’s worth of heavy bullying. To hug her completely and by her choice?”
That, and the fact that Sarah is not a hugger. I mean, I guess there might be examples of her hugging, but I cannot remember any right now. She is even worse at empathy via physical contact than Dina. She was the one holding Mike’s mom at arm’s length with a baseball bat. She Really. Dislikes. Hugging. She did not even hug Dana coming back from the funeral*, and that was -before- she got up the defense mechanisms against helping people because of how that made everyone miserable.
That she hugs Joyce hard now —that she does this thing that she clearly is not comfortable doing under practically any circumstances— is a testament to how she understands exactly how shitty her comment was, and how it’s finally hitting her that her current MO is useless. That is why the hug is so big.
*OK, it might have been that Dana just walked straight past her, but she did not even seem to be ready for the option of the hug.
Yeah, and the best part of that is that it doesn’t even seem like she’s martyring the hug. She wants to hug Joyce here and that’s not something she’s used to feeling. And it’s feeling okay for her to do so even though this is deeply unfamiliar feeling for her.
a thing that i’m thinking about in regards to Joyce and Sarah is that…Joyce being as sheltered as she was is such an aspect of her privilege. she was able to be protected in ways that Sarah may never have been. she didn’t know the place she was living in for what it was. and she can figure out that she was never really protected, just caged in, and see what’s underneath, and still smile, because she’s socialized to make everyone feel better about themselves even if she’s miserable. and she’s internalized that anger so much that it’s like a second heart.
Joyce is just as screwed up about this as Sarah is, only in different ways.
and like, then Sarah comes in with “it wasn’t better, before. so let’s fix it and make it better.” and honestly I kind of think that that has to be her whole life motto, y’know? what’s driven her to be one of the five percent of students who have a scholarship, what’s driven her to go into law. her anger, her passion, her determination, her integrity. she knows the world sucks, and she wants to fix it. and that’s where she and Joyce can meet.
ack Sarah is so. vulnerable and guarded and prickly that when she manages to let someone in past all of that armor she has to freaking stage a siege on herself, haha. gdi i just want someone to braid her hair and tell her that she’s a princess
I think you’re right. And I think this is her metaphorically rolling up her sleeves and reinvigorating that fight. Cause I feel getting her ass kicked by life she’s been more on the defensive and the fearful. And this might be Sarah going to life, fuck you and your bullshit, I’m Sarah Clinton!
Maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to read more The Wheel of Time, but after yesterday’s strip I was fully expecting one of them to storm out and both of them being angry with each other for the rest of their lives without ever bringing this up again. What is it with kids today and admitting fault and communicating their feelings earnestly and working to understand each other and junk?
Nawwwww ok sorry Sarah, I take my last comment back! Good call, I’m glad Sarah immediately realised what she said was ridiculous. And this hug is adorable
I think that it is necessary to think about what were the things that Sarah says ‘sucked’. She’s talking about a lot of things – Joyce’s bad experiences, the walls she built around herself due to her beliefs and how that taught her to respond to other people but also Sarah’s own walls, her pain and her difficulty in letting people into her life.
Sarah wants Joyce to teach her how to smile despite her trials and how to rebuild her emotional balance and look forward to tomorrow, not back to the wreckage of the past. That will be difficult and I think it will dominate their relationship for most of the rest of the lifetime of this strip.
I think this is a turning point in her character – her defining struggle has been whether she will continue on the self-destructive path of isolation she’s been travelling, or trust someone else enough to be vulnerable to them. With this, we see she’s made her choice.
Ok now I feel like a jerk for my comment yesterday. Honestly my issues with Sarah come from how she seemed to have no remorse over getting Dana expelled.
But I will admit this is a good first step to getting me to like her.
She didn’t get Dana expelled, she called Dana’s dad and he pulled her out. There’s quite a few ways he could do that without jeopardizing her ability to come back. (Now, whether or not he did so is another question entirely, but that’s the “we still have a lot of questions about Dana’s home life” bit and that would be hindsight.)
Part of me is hoping that this means at least some things will get better. The other part of me is wondering who’s going to be the first person to shit on Sarah for trying to have a more positive outlook.
Okay, I like this follow up to the last one. I really like the strip as a whole, but Joyce’s speech doesn’t quite come together for me as much as I’d like.
It’s really nice to see Sarah open about her feelings again (feels like a while since the last time), and I hope this is just the beginning of a longeer moment with the two of them.
Just had to step in here to say that any wrist brace that allows the wearer to flex the wrist as much as Joyce is doing in panel #5 there isn’t doing very much good.
It would help Sarah if your “let’s make them better” were not accompanied by a facial expression suitable for sacrificing adorable kittens to a satanic power. Don’t copy Mike.
Who’s going to control the rodents in the stable if you sacrifice the adorable kittens to a satanic power? Because that’s what we got our adorable kittens for, and the female goes to town on them. I think I saw the male one catch a fly once.
Yes, yes, yes! Anyone that takes a baseball bat to a rapists head to save someone else gets a lifetime pass in my book
Shes been screwed over and punished with isolation for doing the right thing (and it was the right thing by Dana) yet she still manages to find the courage to open up (remember it wasn’t that long ago that Joyce threw the Dana incident back in her face) to Joyce and admit her failings
That last panel is kinda what I feel millennials and the next generation are moving towards. We saw a lot of pain and suffering and endured it as the previous generations fought against or indulged in a system that encouraged excess and greed.
And then things crashed.
In thirty years, we’ll be where they were in terms of power. And I feel like that last panel will be on someone’s mind as they make their decisions.
Not that this would be a bad thing. Much of Joyce’s earlier life experiences, teachings, and yes, prejudices are lying like ashes around her. Joyce is rising from the ashes of her previous life and becoming a new person in much the same way as the fabled phoenix. And all know that a phoenix’s tears have healing powers.
Loading ...
Everything’s gonna be alright
Rockabye.
(Sorry)
Never be sorry for Rockabye. :X
you can’t know that.
Of course you can. Things have to be much further along before they really fall apart.
taking the first step toward a better tomorrow is always the hardest
It’s the season. Turn turn turn something, something
Wow, someone actually beat Ana to first comment.
Also, I couldn’t help but think of this song from “To the Moon” when reading that comment – https://youtu.be/nP-AAlZlCkM
And given the context in which it plays in the game, it’s actually surprisingly fitting for this strip.
It happens from time to time. I’ve done it multiple times. It’s not that interesting.
What’s interesting is that you still don’t have a butt-themed avatar.
The avatar is pointing at it’s butt. how is that not butt-themed?
(It’s an inside joke from many strips back.)
Well, I TRIED, but all I got was this stupid TARDIS.
The TARDIS is bigger on the inside.
So are butts.
the TARDIS is therefore butt themed.
You’re welcome
Ah, so in the Dumbiverse it is no longer stuck in “London payphone box” mode but can camouflage itself perfectly as … Amber’s butt?
So the plug must have been Danny’s after all or it would just have disappeared in the mists of time.
OMG, why “To The Moon” feels?!
“…Sarah, I appreciate the sentiment, but your FEELS are hurting me”
“I’m not grabbing you THAT hard!”
“NO IT IS TOO FEELY I AM CRY”
*Joyce puts on Heelys*
FLHL
Sarah used sympathy
its super effective
“Stop it sarah You are doing me a cry”
na na na NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA
HEY JUDE
friggin’ FINALLY
LOVE GIMME LOVE GIMME LOVE
(I don’t need it)
Batman!
First I thought Batman. Then I thought “Hey Jude”. Then I thought Batman singing “Hey Jude”. Then I went to look for the brain bleach.
Batman practiced hard to be the best at everything.
(So why doesn’t Batman dance any more?)
Murder on the dance floor.
Obligatory xkcd!
Proving yet again that anything you can think of to say or do has already been done somewhere else on the internet.
Guess we’re done here folks. Drive home safely.
Watch out for trucks.
Katamari damacy!
http://xkcd.com/851_make_it_better/
And you’ve confirmed what I replied to Amazi-Stool above. And I see that did it first.
Sarah you can smile take notes from Dina
or from Ruth
Dina is the superior smiler though, Sarah has to learn from the best doesn’t she?
Really?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/understudy/
PERFECT
I’ve been practicing Ruth’s smile there because … “I’m fine”.
A smile is just a bit of muscle control drawing the sides of your mouth into an upword motion. if you want to make it seem more smile like try showing some teeth. I have looked into this a decent amount and mimiced it enough already. I just can’t do it without thinking about it typically.
as with all things. research is the key
Apparently coordinating it with muscles near your eyes makes a smile seem “genuine” rather than “polite”. Or so I’ve heard.
and it seems moving your eyes in some ways when you smile has the opposite of the intended effect.
I find that rolling your eyes while baring your teeth is most effective for distracting from the valuables.
Pictures or it doesn’t count.
and even though i know its not the intent you just know some people are going to start sailing this ship.
Becky: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN’ ME!!!
I am a very bad humorist so i doubt I am doing any sort of kidding. unless you meant kid in me in which case i don’t think I am able to become a kid and go in you.
OK, it is completely impossible to tell if you are joking or not now.
BUT, just in case you were serious, I believe that Bagge’s comment was how she thinks Becky would react if she were to learn that Sarah and Joyce became an item.
And I think Bagge’s assessment is spot on for that.
i was trying to be humoristic but honestly i know i am not very good at it.
This start to feel like a Becky/Dina conversation… which is of course perfectly fitting.
Awww, you think I am as smart as Dina!
Do you know many good Dinosaur facts?
Indeed I do!
Dinosaurs are RAD!
Dinosaurs are AWESOME!
Everybody should learn about dinosaurs!
Need more facts?
lucky i am just oblivious to emotions.
This comment thread reminded me of when someone wrote in a bathroom stall at my school, “text [phone number] for cool dinosaur facts.” That was the only time I ever texted a number I didn’t know; I most definitely did not regret it.
I have no cool dino facts. I just have random facts of randomness.
Well shoot. That’s pretty cool, Nicolumbia.
Almost makes me reconsider my stance on avoiding public restrooms when possible.
Dinosaurs – Theory
The Brontosaurus which may or may not have actually existed.
It is thin at one end
Fat in the middle
Thin at the other end
Nicolumbia: Outreach, someone is doing it right.
And thank you for that in sightful theory, Ann Elk (Miss).
I started to think some about the triceratops. growing up it was my favorite sort of dinosaur. While I think it was the horns it also suspect that when power rangers started I was in elementary school and the blue ranger was among my favorites.
I love that when Bagge made a comment about this being a Dina/Becky conversation, we both claimed to be Dina.
Of course, your comment was rather too silly to be Dina, so it’s obvious you are Becky. You should learn from me, the person with all the good dinosaur facts!
I was trying to talk about something dina might be interested in more than be dina.
Ehh, don’t worry. The important part is that we now have a ship that will make Becky’s head Asplode.
Friend. Ship.
maybe friends with mild snuggle benefits?
Relation. Ship.
a ship? let me get this cannon. fill it with heads and blow up the ship.
Let us not Barge into this with the intent to Destroy it.
but i want to destroy that ship with my head cannon
i don’t ship it now.
but like when they’ve both graduated college and are independent ladies and oh, hey, maybe they’re living in the same area, and oh, hey, living together sure beats living apart, right, and then oh, hey, i just kissed you while we were watching the gay tv show Becky is making Joyce watch and there are all these feelings????
it never quite stops being awkward, because both Joyce and Sarah are awkward people, but they build this richness between them and they compensate for each other’s awkwardness and it’s beautiful and vivid and alive
and Sarah doesn’t know, exactly, when being Joyce’s big sister turned into just watching her back, but she figures it’s somewhere in between when she realized that watching Joyce fight her own battles was much more entertaining than stepping in. and Joyce doesn’t know, exactly, when she stopped thinking that Sarah knew everything, but it was probably right about when she realized how much solid work Sarah puts into everything she does to get to where she wants to be, and how exhausting it is for her.
they have two cats, and Joyce won’t ever stop complaining about what a mess it is to clean up after their hair that gets everywhere, jeeze louise, because if she was anal about not letting food touch she is just as anal about not letting the cat hair touch everything even if that’s literally impossible; and Sarah comes home from the office and vents about the new lawyer that can spin cartwheels around everyone verbally but doesn’t know anything about real problems. and there are people who make both of them feel terrible for who and what they are, but they patch each other up meanwhile and it’s better together.
Huh, looks like I’ve abandoned that Joyce/Dorothy ship. I like this one better.
we can do so many things at once in the multishipper lifestyle
Questing of Age
Everyone jumps away from Mary and gets on guard.
Mary: Now, now calm down. As it just so happens I’m not here to fight you.
Joyce: Why are you here, then?
Mary: To warn you.
Jocelyne: Why the hell would you warn us about anything?
Mary: It’s about your mother.
Joyce: Weren’t you helping my mom?
Mary: She hired me; I’ve backed out of the contract.
Amber: Why would you do that?
Mary: I’ve discovered that she’s tangling with forces that are too dangerous even for me.
Joyce: Like what?
Mary: She’s trying to bring back Blaine.
Dorothy: Why!?
Mary: She wants to bring about a new age of darkness, and she believes she needs his living soul to achieve this.
Dorothy: Why!?
Mary: So that everyone will be exactly like her.
Walky: Wait, didn’t you want that at one point.
Mary: Everyone will become exactly like her.
Joyce: Exactly?
Mary: Not just Christian, not just straight, not just white. The entire planet will become an army of clones.
Becky: Yeah, I can see why you want to stop that.
Mary: So were in agreement, we stick together until we stop the apocalypse, and then it’s back to normal.
Joyce: Deal.
Dorothy: How do we know we can trust you?
Mary: You can’t, but I’m the best chance you have.
Sarah: Lovely.
They exit the Louvre and walk across the streets of Paris.
Joyce: So where to next…Mary?
Mary: You have the clue?
Joyce: Yeah, it’s a picture of the Eiffel tower.
Mary: I suppose that’s our next stop then.
Joyce: Wait a sec, we’re trying to find a way to resurrect Danny, do you think my mom is trying to reach this guy as well?
Mary: Let’s hope not.
They climb to the top of the tower, where a small man with one eye covered by hair stands at the top.
Faz: You made it.
Wait, when did FAZ get involved??!!!!!!
The chart on the back of the first card.
yay! Someone remembered the foreshadowing!
Is that what we’re calling it now?
“Sarah used hug. That was unexpected.”
It’s super effective!
Sarah wants to learn hug, but Sarah already knows four moves. Would you like to forget a move?
Da da da….Sarah forgot how to use Hatred of Everyone…Sarah learned Hug!
i thought hatred of everyone was an hm.
Nah, it’s an ability.
yeah that makes more sense than a move.
I think Sarahmisanthropist in fact just Evolved into Sarahtoleratingotherhumans.
Her last form will be SarahlikingherselfandfuckingthehelloutofJacob.
Is “hell” the name of Jacob’s butt plug? If Danny’s was named “damnation”, they’d make for a cute desktop arrangement.
THIS
And one of those is with a baseball bat:) Which is also super effective.
Sara used Hug….
THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH!!!!
So it was super effective then.
Again? The end of the world is always nigh ~_~
Everyone always leaves off the e. The end of the world is neigh.
quoth the four horsemen.
Uniterrupted Moment!!!
They should have this one framed.
It kinda is already, but they are not fourth-wall savvy enough to know that.
(couldn’t decide if I would go with that one or “Joyce, Sarah – you are HUGGING???” “Are NOT, we were framed”)
Yeah, too many interruptions. Since Joyce came back I kept thinking: Everyone else needs to leave. These two REALLY need to talk.
Now if we could get Amber and Sal to actually talk. (Yep, Willis is turning me into a crazy optimist.)
Yes!!!!! <3 <3
I am sure this one will too go in history as one of the greatest moments on DoA 😀
Too right. Just yesterday I was worried about her self-care (and her coping skills), but I forgot… this is Sarah, and on her other hand she’s always got her drive to problem-solve. Magnificent.
Second time I can remember where Sarah has done A Nice Thing for Joyce:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/sisters-2/
*slow clap* well done, sarah. well done.
Also good on Joyce for forgiving and understanding Sarah, but that comes easily to Joyce. Emotional honesty and vulnerability is really hard for Sarah, and she nails it, and I decided it wasn’t classy to make a Jesus joke right there but now you’ve thought of it yourself.
I’m actually pretty terrible at Jesus jokes; none that I came up with just there were funny enough to warrant being considered jokes. Help a fellow out?
Jesus was pretty familiar with “nailing it”…being a carpenter and all.
Being a carpenter, yes. But in his “and all” job, he was more on the receiving end of the hammer.
Aaand Sarah makes it right !
This is such a wonderful turnaround from yesterday and I’m so glad.
Indeed. A worthy parallel to THIS moment
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/forgive/
If you look at the next strip, imagine that Sarah will from now on say those things -except- the last panel.
Was kinda painful seeing all the sudden hate yesterday. Well people have an habit of reacting a bit too epidermically.
“I can either smile or have a gibbering screaming meltdown. I’d rather smile.”
“…I shall help you continue smiling.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have felt the same way as the first sentence. I have also told people I have to either make a joke about something or kill someone for it, and the joke is marginally less violent.
Or? I often go with smiling AND internal screaming, but that’s probably not a good thing.
Wait, what is that thing Sarah is doing in panel 5? That thing with her arms. This is a strange time for wrestling. I just don’t understaaaaand
measuring her room mate. She needs to have an accurate description of her in case something bad ever happens.
She’s just practicing her German Suplex.
Well, she’s doing it wrong.
Maybe a belly-to-belly, then?
Damn it all.
That’s why she’s practicing.
She wouldn’t happen to be the niece or cousin of a certain “beast”? Would she?
The Alt-text says it’s something called a “hug”, but I think she just checking Joyce for weapons.
Makes sense, she just came back from ToeDad hometown after all.
or wires? can never be sure when old enemies/room mates might want to spy on you using a gullible home schooled kid.
Or using misdirection while putting a sign on her back.
“Do Not Touch. Protected by Sarah Security” ?
Joe: “NOW you tell me.”
Sarah: “I DID!!!!!”
If that is Sarah’s idea of a hug, maybe a slipshine of her and Jacob would be too awkward to view.
Actually, that is quite an interesting thought.
Because, as I have said elsewhere, Sarah is not good with hugs. At all. And she is not great with relationships, whether friendly or romantic. Heck, her exact words were: “I don’t want to marry him, I just want to use him for his body once or twice.” Who Jacob is as a person is of little consequence.
So, in light of this, I imagine that a Sarah (at least up until now) and Jacob slipshine would be something like this: Sarah ties up and blindfolds Jacob, riding him hard and good while avoiding any contact that seems to be intimate as well as sexual. It would be a base fuck, nothing more.
And that would not be fair to Jacob, who himself has indicated he wants a relationship, he wants to share feelings as well as body fluids. After all, he turned down Roz, and I’m sure he’s turned down others too. I mean, as Walky said: “Looking like that, -anyone- would hit it.” So it’s just as well that old Sarah never got together with Jacob, really.
But maybe (hopefully) new Sarah might….
Do remember though that Sarah is not necessarily honest about what she wants, even or especially to herself.
I think that “more honest with herself” is a really good way to describe what (hopefully) new Sarah will be.
So as such, I think my imagination still holds, except with the added “bonus” that Sarah -also- ends up unsatisfied, because she wasn’t able to tell herself what she really wanted.
So if they ever do Slipshine, it should be with the (hopefully) new Sarah, which will be a completely different and more healthy situation altogether.
I think I can relate to sara a lot here honestly. emotions seem like they might be nice to have.
Have you talked to any kind of professional about that? If not, I really think you should. You deserve to get in on this catharsis
Catharsis? Man, I don’t want no heart attack though!
more than i remember honestly. a doctor at one point said something along the lines of i have a harder time with emotional comprehension.
another said i had “idiosyncratic behavior” which roughly translated means i am weird.
I was once told, “I can’t decide if you’re weird, broken, or even human.”. I said “Thanks, that’s ambiguous, insulting, or unhelpful.”
Did you pick the avatar on your own?
poop. Better than “no, you’re just crazy”, but a long way short of “oh yes, we have a pill for that …it’s delicious”
they’re a pain in the neck but overall useful and sometimes really great
and then sometimes they suck but y’know. can’t have everything
Sarah saw that Paragon action prompt and took it.
Now imagining trying to play this as a Mass Effect conversation.
Oh man, that’s not where I thought that first option was going… Okay, which option salvages the loyalty bonus? That one’s obviously hitting on her. This one sounds good! Oh! Paragon action! Uhh… did I just hug her…
I’d laugh about how accurate of a representation that is, but I’m still all ready from the feels.
She must’ve taken the Renegade prompt last strip then.
Finally, the healing begins.
YAAAAAAS. Good job Sarah! there you go~
I audibly “d’awwed”. Bravo, Willis
Things can be so much easier when we quit putting up a front and be honest with ourselves and our friends. Instead of being testy, just say how you *really* feel.
Ok, this is good moment
Hugs are good.
Best comic ever?
*reads alt text*
Well, I suppose Sarah is in the right place to do that…
Her scholarship covers it
5th panel: Guess who either has something in their pocket or is just glad to see her?
“Oh, that! The, uh, other reason I was acting upset was that you got back just as I was about to, uh, enjoy some private time with, um, one of my toys.”
*a Joyce-shaped blush flees the room, never to return*
BIG SIS!!!! She might be a bit of a bongo sometimes, but she really, really loves her little sis. Sarah says sorry. Sarah is HUGGING???!!!!
I think ischemgeek was right on spot yesterday with Sarah having spent the last week waiting for an implosion that never came. Even after ToeDad, even after family weekend, even after Billie, Joyce never broke, like Sarah did. I think this is Sarah deciding that if Joyce can do it, so can she.
They way things were sucked indeed. But now Sarah sees a way to make them better. Little sis has shown the way.
YESSSSSS EMOTIONAL HONESTY
so proud of Sarah and Joyce!
Way to turn it around from yesterday’s strip, Sarah.
That was beautiful. Thank you for this moment.
D’awwww, Sarah really does care.
god damnit malaya1 no wait that came out wrong
Malaya is using her secret ninja powers to cling to the ceiling and spy on them undetected.
Malaya is some kind of evil Dina?
evil and oblivious seems like an interesting combination.
“Why shouldn’t I take the car? I want it and the owner isn’t using it”
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sometimes those two make me happy.
Phew, wonderful corrective maneuver, Sarah. Dina would be proud of that hug.
Dina: As far as I am capable of telling such things, you are correctly executing a maneuver of sympathy via heavy physical contact, Sarah.
just do not put to much weight on the contact. I am unsure the line between heaving and smothering physical contact. Even the line between light and heavy physical contact seems to have to many variables to be sure of between different people
Huh. I opened the comments expecting at least half a dozen references to “sympathy via [light|heavy] physical contact” and only found yours. Well the night is young I suppose.
I tried to come up with something dirty to insinuate, but Joyce and Sarah’s faces in the last panel keep making me tear up and I can’t do it
next comic they will sit on a couch lightly leaning into each other and eating popcorn.
They were too busy describing it as a Pokemon attack. So I had to step up.
I really have a hard time believing Sarah can change. Or is going to try to after this moment is passed.
Hugs all around!
“I get a hug! You get a hug! Everyone gets a hug!”
But I didn’t get a hug!
(And that’s the down-side to living alone on a mountaintop.)
YOU CAME OUT WRONG.
I knew it!
Burgerking was secretly Japser the whole time!
yeah well you missed
This makes my heart very warm. Very warm indeed. *sniff* I think I need to go sit down somewhere,… so I can,… you know,… feel out the feels. *sniff*
OH GOD THE FEELIES
I for one am glad that after eighteen years Joyce has finally learned not to eat paste.
On the other hand, that means she is down to one thing she can eat.
What do you mean, she can still eat sushi!
If by “eat” you mean “swallow whole and never taste it”.
if it makes it to your stomach via your mouth regardless of the tasting aspect it is technically eating i believe.
My “hug maneuver” is usually just as awkward too.
Gah! Onion ninjas attacking! Onion ninjas attacking!
I was completely expecting for them to be fighting and not even speaking to each other after yesterday. Like, MAYBE Sarah would narrowly avoid starting some kind of ongoing feud.
These are not the feels I was prepared for!
BUT YOU GOT THEM ANYWAY. FEEEEL ATTACK!
Seriously. Shit like this is why I don’t dare read new strips at work.
It’s the “Reverse Willis”, setting up the expectation for bad feels then whoomph, hit you in the good feels.
I am now imagining the Reverse Willis as a sexual maneuver, but still fitting that same description.
As maneuvers go “hit you in the good feels” sounds a little violent for me.
Especially if that’s what ends up making the ”whoomph” sound
Maggie probably knows, but we never will.
OK, Sarah, I am far less pissed off right now. Yes, you admitted the real reason behind it all: That you were jealous of Joyce. And yes, you managed to do the only possible right reaction to Joyce’s explanation.
I am still upset that Joyce even had to defend her smiling like she did in the first place, because that is something she should not have had to do at all. It really isn’t. You are lucky that she still trusts you enough to do so, that she still believed that you’d be more understanding with that information. She did not owe that to you, but she still gave it.
But yeah, you managed to make a real apology. And more importantly, that hug, coupled with your last line… What you are -really- saying is that your way of caring about people sucked, and you will try a different way, a better way. You will -openly- hug Joyce when she needs it the most, not when she will never be able to remember it, or with a “I hate having to do this” attitude. You are (hopefully) going to see that Joyce’s chat with Dorothy was straight up therapy for her.
And Joyce… Sarah just gave you a verbal gut-punch and you… Well, you are a better person than I am. Even after getting the first apology, I would have replied with far worse than what you did. Your life is a huge mess in which you are finding that black is white, up is down… And you’re still not doing worse than “…I should HOPE SO.” Because you do not want to completely give up on people, ever. You just don’t. That is also why you tell Sarah why you are smiling, to show you haven’t given up on her.
Never change that, Joyce.
Sarah used affection.
It seems to have broken her.
so its a self destruct attack?
Inexperienced huggers should take extra care when the intended huggee has a wrist brace.
Well, this quickly escalated to precious.
Good for Sarah, I was worried I would have to start disliking her.
I came here today expecting lesbian political rally shenanigans. I was not prepared for so many feels.
how many feels were there? two? three? pi?
Pies are for smothering all the feels in whipped cr— oh, you said pi, never mind.
(Probably like six feels, maybe seven. Not sure what my frame of reference is though)
can i have one or two of them? I am curious what a feel is like.
The power is inside you all along.
that explains the batteries.
You say you’re not good at humor, but that was GLORIOUS.
a broken clock can be right on occasion.
So, tau.
Tau.
It never stops amusing me when someone’s avatar matches their comment perfectly.
Oh my goodness, I’d actually forgotten what my gravatar was. Should I also be proclaiming my hatred of humanity and throwing pies at people?
Not throwing pies at people, no. Instead, set up a trap where people basically throw the pie at themselves.
…although maybe I would’ve been a bit more prepared if I’d remembered that yesterday’s strip was these two and not lesbian political rally shenanigans, huh
Damn it Sarah! Now you’ve gone on to make my eyes water. :’-(
I love DoA Sarah and her relationship with Joyce.
Now kiss…
>.>
called it
AAAAAAH BEST ROOMIES EVER.
Fantastic! Outstanding! Damn Good!
I love it, Sarah is coming out of her shell.
Hug her back Joyce or …. I’ll think of something.
Following up the horribly wrong thing to say with the totally right thing to say. It’s an improvement, if nothing else.
Yeah. It’s like a minus ten on the maneuver but plus eight on the dismount. It doesn’t completely makenup for the crappy comment, but’s a hell of a stsrt.
The hug does, though, as well as the promise to help. Joyce understands how tough emotional honesty and vulnerability and hugs n’stuff are for Sarah.
You’re more forgiving than I. This is an excellent start, but now Sarah needs to follow through, and not pull this crap anymore. But it’s Joyce’s forgoveness that really matters here, and she is undeniably more forgiving than I am, so I’m willing to bet she has already forgiven Sarah.
The thing about the hug… I think that more than any words, it is the hug that shows that Sarah really, truly understands just how goddamn unbelievably shitty her comment was. Sarah is not a hugger. Sarah is not even a “sympathy via light physical contact” kind of person. Nothing else she could have done or said could have possibly shown how much she is regretting that horrible, terrible comment. And that is why I am at least cautiously optimistic that it will be the start of her pulling less of that crap.
I agree with that.
I love their relationship. I love how much Joyce is learning from Sarah who is quite wise and mature and I love how Joyce is getting her to loosen up and realize that she needs to change herself as well love their sisterhood
Fantastic. It takes a lot of strength to be able to say “Who I am kinda sucks. I don’t want to be that person anymore.” I feel like Joyce has done that, and it’s rubbed off on Sarah. I hope Sarah lowering her shields a little turns out well for her.
I can relate to this. Coming to the realization that you’re not a good person, or at the very least not as good of a person as who you want to be, is rough, but actively making the decision to change and grow as a person takes a lot of strength and a lot of commitment.
I think to say it is the easy part. I have said it many times.
The part that takes strength is moving down the path to improve yourself. Even that first step or maybe especially that first step is hard.
that might just be me though.
It’s all hard in different ways!
Saying it requires vulnerability, honesty, and a vision of the future.
Starting requires bravery, to begin even when you’re scared, and strength in the face of whatever is holding you back.
Continuing requires dedication, determination, persistence, patience, etc.
I don’t know what finishing requires, or if this is the sort of thing you ever really complete.
maybe i think saying it is easy because while i don’t think im a bongo or whatever the other vulgarities turn into here I also feel like i am worthless. or maybe something like talking furniture. something that is there and only noticed when i talk and even then not really thought much of.
anyway ill shut up now sorry.
It depends on what kind of improvement it is. Sarah had been afraid to let anyone in, or to show anyone she cared. So admitting to Joyce how she’d been feeling, trusting Joyce enough to be vulnerable, and showing Joyce she cared and wanted to change was the first step of making that change. She’ll still need to follow through on it, but its the kind of thing that will probably become easier for her with practice. Not all personal improvements work that way though.
But I want you to know that you do not need to shut up, and you are not worthless, and you most certainly are not unwelcome here.
well i am not an active bongo so i am sure that helps me not be banned or whatever. im not a bad enough person to be hated but not good enough to be noticed or cared about.
what would you like people to notice?
I honestly feel that each person is important and noticeable, like, as an inalienable trait of humanity. I care about everyone, which includes you, even though I haven’t met you personally. You didn’t have to do anything in particular to be worthy of care, it’s free.
(I say this because it’s absolutely true for me; I hope it isn’t triggery for you to hear it, if it is then I apologize.)
I recognize that it would way more helpful to be noticed and cared for by people who are actually present in your life, though. Zoelogical’s question is probably more useful to you than my digression. What would you like people to notice?
In my own experience it isn’t something that you ever really finish. For a long time I was unhappy with who I was as a person, and improving myself did require all of those things you mentioned, but over time I eventually reached a point where I was happy with who I was as a person. The thing I liked most about the person I had become though was that I was always trying to be better. Being content with who I was didn’t preclude the goal of continuous improvement. So no, I don’t think it’s something that a person ever really finishes, but I can say that it certainly gets easier the longer you do it.
This is just from my experience though, I’m curious as to how it might be for others.
I said horrible things and mistreated people and I think I cared about people in general, but that doesn’t mean I actually gave a shit about anyone. It took dating a girl to get me to open up to other individuals and to care about them at all and it took her breaking up with me a year later (and several good friends telling me that I was an arrogant condescending asshole and one really close friend after not talking to me for two years telling me he stopped talking to me because talking to me hurt too much and he felt relief every time he stopped talking to me) I was… awful in so many ways. and I think the most difficult part now is that I really didn’t know that I was awful then, so I feel like I can only ever hope that I’m better than that now, because I won’t know until later wether or not I am. Not better than that now per se, because I know I’ve realized and fixed some if not all of the problems I was made aware of, but that I won’t know what problems I have right now until later. In order to get to that point at all I had to be broken, completely shattered. I agree with NoHeart6265, I don’t think it’s something you ever really finish. I don’t know that I had a vision of the future. I’m not sure I really have much of a vision of the future even right now, but fundamentally, when I was made aware of what I’d done to other people and of what it had done to them and when I understood how it affected them emotionally, I wanted to make sure I never did that to anyone again. I sure hope I haven’t made any horrible lapses in grammar or spelling that make this hard to understand.
Yikes, I may have gotten a bit sidetracked there. I guess the point is, it takes something really significant to force you far enough away from yourself to even see the things that might be wrong with you, to see your flaws. It takes even more to acknowledge them and to do something about them. Regardless, that whole process is incredibly difficult and basically… woo! go sarah! or something like that.
Heh. Something similar happened to me.
I try to be a good person now. It’s all I can do since the relationships will never be mended. *shrugs*
I consider myself incredibly incredibly lucky, in that I’m still on pretty good terms with most of those people, including my ex, and I hope it’s a sign that I made some of the right changes and improvements to who I am. It’s been several years since then.
(sobs) SHUT UP IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING
No, No. I’m just doing routine maintenance to my optical system.
it appears to be leaking. Let me get my soldering gun out.
*pfffffffffft* Sorry, the hilarity of this comment has either caused suppressed laughter or caused me to deflate. Do you perhaps have Duck tape, as well as a soldering gun? (Not duct tape. When I’m done here I have some ducks to repair.)
Yes. Yes I am.
It’s not crying, it’s liquid pride. Totally different thing.
yay
That is better
Boom. Heartshot.
I just love Sarah.
MY EMOTIONS
“You are remarkably quick.”
In The Neverending Story, there was a mirror of truth. It was the most horrible of tests. Brave men find they are cowards. Kind men find they are very cruel. People run screaming.
Some, however, make the effort to learn and do better.
Sometimes, you just have to stop and remember just how totally broken Sarah is on a scale that I don’t think Joyce can entirely imagine right now.
Comic Reactions:
Panel 1: Sarah can’t even look her in the eye. And Joyce is just not having her notpology. Oh, that might have come out wrong… heheh, yeah no.
But seriously, I’m so proud of Joyce for calling her out on this. I mean, we know that she gets martyry when dealing with friends she feels she’s wronged in some way, whether it be resisting opening up to Becky about her fears, beating herself up about being bothered by Dorothy drinking at her party, or the emotional fear she built up about her epic fuckup with Sarah.
But here, she knows what Sarah said was not okay and she says that out loud and doesn’t let Sarah just take the easy way out of not acknowledging that she fucked up (and Sarah knows she fucked up, hence her facial expressions since she said it).
And that’s bigger than it seems because we’ve seen Carol. We’ve seen the toxic passive-aggressive environment she is from. So she is more than accustomed to simply viewing that shit as the price of entry. So it’s nice to see that she’s learned how not to suffer it politely anymore.
Panel 2: YAY SARAH!
Like, no, what she did wasn’t right, but here, she’s acknowledging some of her major flaws. Noting her unhealthy behaviors such as her increasing little moments of unhealthy pettiness and general hostility to the hope and optimism of others.
And it makes sense. She’s traumatized from hope and has been locked in a cynical spiral. Maybe even a depressed one for months, maybe the better part of a year. Feeling like deadening herself to the world would somehow protect her from getting hurt again.
But she was letting that make her not her best self. Sniping at Dina’s NRE excitement by pointing out the non-issue of “being a rebound”, snapping at Joyce here, pushing away Jacob rather than risk him seeing the true her and not liking what he sees.
And I feel that’s a big thing when we eventually get to the last panel.
Yup. AWESOME Joyce reaction. Especially compared to Sarah’s counterpart last week.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/mean/
And awesome gear shift for Sarah, dropping her snark-shield and daring to expose her flaws. Dina has been good for her.
Hopefully she’ll apologize to Dina, too. Then get some more practice hugging
Dina probably already knows it, but Sarah should still say it.
It occurs to me that Sarah and Dina may understand each other better than anyone else in the strip. Most only know the surface that their friend shows to the world.
joyce is probably used to it from her mother but def. not as used to it from sarah in her safe space and especially not after this weekend
Panel 4: Oh Joyce… Joyce has been through so much this weekend, been battered around and has truly lost a lot of what she used to believe was her home. Like, she’s got her sister and her dad. But she’s now seen the rot in the church and how quickly it will turn on a “friend of sinners”, she’s seen just how petty and nasty her mom can be and how much of a threat she poses to Joyce’s happiness and safety, and she’s even seen her oldest brother for the mansplaining pile of puke that he is.
It’s so much and she’s just holding on for the ride, because to not smile feels like surrendering to the vast darkness and it’s only been by the skin of her teeth that she’s climbed out of that and into building a home that’s worth a damn.
Panel 6: Sarah, you are beautiful and awesome.
Like, this is the Sarah I was hoping to see follow-up that fuck-up and I’m so not disappointed. And there’s so many layers to her actions here.
A hug and a shoulder to cry on. Seemingly small, but she’s worked so hard to keep Joyce at arm’s length lest she feel dragged into being an emotional caretaker, a role she associates with nearly losing her one shot at reaching her dreams and a year’s worth of heavy bullying. To hug her completely and by her choice?
That’s Sarah pushing through all the defenses she’s thrown up to try not to care again and letting herself be willing to get hurt.
And that comment, yes, it works for Joyce. Her past has a lot of bad in it. The culture she’s coming from has a lot of toxicity she’s been needing to shed. And she’s been told all her life that leaving that pool of toxicity is a sin that will send her to Hell.
She needs to know now that there’s a better to reach for. That she’s on the path to better. And that she’ll have support and allies on that journey. And I’m excited that this might mean Joyce might be willing to take more risks forging her own destiny beyond what she assumes her path “should” be.
And most of all, I’m excited by her phrase because Sarah’s eyes are so conflicted in Panel 5 and so full of emotion and vulnerability in Panel 6. And I think it might be Sarah recognizing that she’s been stuck in toxic old ways too. Being consumed by the ghost of Dana (cause even if it was a mistake to send her home with her dad, it’s not something Sarah could have known ahead of time or something she had many options for given the dire state of her academics and scholarship), trying to push away anyone who gets close, trying to rely only on her survival skills to get through.
I think her statement is her realizing that this way of living isn’t making her happy, it’s just making her feel petty jealousy of other people’s happiness whether that be Raidah’s, Dina’s, or Joyce’s. And that she’s in control of her destiny and can forge a means of emotional support that doesn’t consume her entire life or break into her ability to study and succeed at her dream.
She can reach out without being burned. She can let a few people into her heart and not have the same nightmares re-enact themselves in front of her.
She can make them better with her little sis. Together.
Big sis.
Little sis.
Hugs are OK.
I’m dang proud of Sarah
“A hug and a shoulder to cry on. Seemingly small, but she’s worked so hard to keep Joyce at arm’s length lest she feel dragged into being an emotional caretaker, a role she associates with nearly losing her one shot at reaching her dreams and a year’s worth of heavy bullying. To hug her completely and by her choice?”
That, and the fact that Sarah is not a hugger. I mean, I guess there might be examples of her hugging, but I cannot remember any right now. She is even worse at empathy via physical contact than Dina. She was the one holding Mike’s mom at arm’s length with a baseball bat. She Really. Dislikes. Hugging. She did not even hug Dana coming back from the funeral*, and that was -before- she got up the defense mechanisms against helping people because of how that made everyone miserable.
That she hugs Joyce hard now —that she does this thing that she clearly is not comfortable doing under practically any circumstances— is a testament to how she understands exactly how shitty her comment was, and how it’s finally hitting her that her current MO is useless. That is why the hug is so big.
*OK, it might have been that Dana just walked straight past her, but she did not even seem to be ready for the option of the hug.
Yeah, and the best part of that is that it doesn’t even seem like she’s martyring the hug. She wants to hug Joyce here and that’s not something she’s used to feeling. And it’s feeling okay for her to do so even though this is deeply unfamiliar feeling for her.
When no words will do, just be there. They will understand.
a thing that i’m thinking about in regards to Joyce and Sarah is that…Joyce being as sheltered as she was is such an aspect of her privilege. she was able to be protected in ways that Sarah may never have been. she didn’t know the place she was living in for what it was. and she can figure out that she was never really protected, just caged in, and see what’s underneath, and still smile, because she’s socialized to make everyone feel better about themselves even if she’s miserable. and she’s internalized that anger so much that it’s like a second heart.
Joyce is just as screwed up about this as Sarah is, only in different ways.
and like, then Sarah comes in with “it wasn’t better, before. so let’s fix it and make it better.” and honestly I kind of think that that has to be her whole life motto, y’know? what’s driven her to be one of the five percent of students who have a scholarship, what’s driven her to go into law. her anger, her passion, her determination, her integrity. she knows the world sucks, and she wants to fix it. and that’s where she and Joyce can meet.
ack Sarah is so. vulnerable and guarded and prickly that when she manages to let someone in past all of that armor she has to freaking stage a siege on herself, haha. gdi i just want someone to braid her hair and tell her that she’s a princess
I think you’re right. And I think this is her metaphorically rolling up her sleeves and reinvigorating that fight. Cause I feel getting her ass kicked by life she’s been more on the defensive and the fearful. And this might be Sarah going to life, fuck you and your bullshit, I’m Sarah Clinton!
HECK yeah
“I just want someone to braid her hair and tell her that she’s a princess.”
The best kind of princess.
the kind that puts on armor to rescue damsels AND the kind in the pretty purple clothing
This comment is so beautiful!
<3 <3
Aw, Sarah. You’re so nice.
Onions, dust, flakey mascara…dammit where’s my tissue!
I heard that in Jacob’s voice.
What the-
It is good that the noise I made was tiny, because it was not a human noise. SARAHHHHHHH I knew you’d make me proud 😀
But, you’re not a mouse.
Everyone run! Hell froze over and the end is coming! Sarah just said something that sounded almost… positive
…you win this time, Sarah…
Awkward roommate hug?
Awww, Sarah, you DO care. 😀
Maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to read more The Wheel of Time, but after yesterday’s strip I was fully expecting one of them to storm out and both of them being angry with each other for the rest of their lives without ever bringing this up again. What is it with kids today and admitting fault and communicating their feelings earnestly and working to understand each other and junk?
I know, right? All this talking? The proper thing to do is get angry over a perceived betrayal, and then go pledge your soul to the immortal darkness.
That’s the face of a girl with a dislocated spine.
Nawwwww ok sorry Sarah, I take my last comment back! Good call, I’m glad Sarah immediately realised what she said was ridiculous. And this hug is adorable
For a second, I thought Sarah was punching Joyce in the gut.
Awww, Sarah!
I’m not crying, you’re crying…
Awwwwwww
I think that it is necessary to think about what were the things that Sarah says ‘sucked’. She’s talking about a lot of things – Joyce’s bad experiences, the walls she built around herself due to her beliefs and how that taught her to respond to other people but also Sarah’s own walls, her pain and her difficulty in letting people into her life.
Sarah wants Joyce to teach her how to smile despite her trials and how to rebuild her emotional balance and look forward to tomorrow, not back to the wreckage of the past. That will be difficult and I think it will dominate their relationship for most of the rest of the lifetime of this strip.
That last panel is the single most beautiful thing I have seen all week.
YES.
Hope points increase by 5.
Plays The Way We Were on hacked Muzack.
YAY SARAH!
I think this is a turning point in her character – her defining struggle has been whether she will continue on the self-destructive path of isolation she’s been travelling, or trust someone else enough to be vulnerable to them. With this, we see she’s made her choice.
I’m so proud of her!
I really think you are right. I think this is the moment she decided to stop worry that Joyce will turn out like her.
I think this is the moment she decided to turn out like Joyce.
And this comment is beautiful also!
Excellent recovery, Sarah, I’m so proud of you!
I’m not crying; YOU’RE crying!
Sarah uses HUG
It’s super effective?
Joyce in panel 5: “S-sempai…”
Willis, unsure he’s drawing this so-called ‘hug’ maneuver correctly, but bu God he’s giving it the ol’ college try
So, my dad just did this sort of thing.>/a> Well, there goes my trust in him regarding LGBT+ related issues.
Dammit, that was supposed to be a link to this comic: http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/jocelyne/page/2/
The one time I get the syntax correctly I end up using the wrong arrow.
And now I mess up the link as well:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/trendy/
But can you borrow the Mustang?
No, but I managed to convince him not to grow a mustache.
I’d like to be more specific, incidentally, what he did was the making fun of the LGBTQ+ acronyms.
Apologies, my comical attempt at missing the point resulted in you missing the joke.
Willis, is Sarah’s line what you told yourself when you rebooted Roomies! into this comic?
I’m sorry I’m just going to be bawling like a baby for the next few hours
Ok now I feel like a jerk for my comment yesterday. Honestly my issues with Sarah come from how she seemed to have no remorse over getting Dana expelled.
But I will admit this is a good first step to getting me to like her.
Sarah didn’t “get Dana expelled”, she alerted people to the fact that Dana needed help.
She didn’t get Dana expelled, she called Dana’s dad and he pulled her out. There’s quite a few ways he could do that without jeopardizing her ability to come back. (Now, whether or not he did so is another question entirely, but that’s the “we still have a lot of questions about Dana’s home life” bit and that would be hindsight.)
Carla outed Ruth to save her life and most thought it was good. Sarah called Dana’s dad to save her life and most thought it was horrible.
I guess Sarah should have carried a drugged out Dana up and down the hallway?
It’s also been like 2 hours since Carla outed Ruth, we have no idea how that’s going to resonate across the floor and impact her standing.
I don’t know about “remorse”, but she has plenty of trauma attached to it.
I think she’s haunted by it and not at all sure she did the right thing, even though she can’t see what else she could have done.
She certainly doesn’t have remorse in the sense of knowing it was wrong. She doesn’t. We don’t.
That middle panel is giving me Trigun flashbacks.
Oh GOD now I’m crying, whhhhhhhy. T.T
“Love and peace!”
Part of me is hoping that this means at least some things will get better. The other part of me is wondering who’s going to be the first person to shit on Sarah for trying to have a more positive outlook.
Good. Good for Sarah, good on Sarah, good for Joyce, good for everyone.
‘scuse me, got something in my eye.
Panel 7: Sarah executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Joyce for questioning her sincerity.
I love sara so much aaaaaaaaa!!!
Okay, I like this follow up to the last one. I really like the strip as a whole, but Joyce’s speech doesn’t quite come together for me as much as I’d like.
It’s really nice to see Sarah open about her feelings again (feels like a while since the last time), and I hope this is just the beginning of a longeer moment with the two of them.
“I should hope so!”
Have I mentioned my love for Joyce lately? Because I love Joyce. A lot.
Also, awww, Sarah <3
You keep your filthy paws off my girlfriend!
Good job making your saving throw there Sarah
a natural 20 can get you out of a lot of bad situations.
And now Sarah has finally started putting points back into the “Friendship” skill!
Just had to step in here to say that any wrist brace that allows the wearer to flex the wrist as much as Joyce is doing in panel #5 there isn’t doing very much good.
It would help Sarah if your “let’s make them better” were not accompanied by a facial expression suitable for sacrificing adorable kittens to a satanic power. Don’t copy Mike.
She is not comfortable with affection, at all, but she’s trying for Joyce’s sake.
You act like there’s something wrong with sacrificing adorable kittens to a satanic power.
Now if you were sacrificing ugly kittens to a satanic power, that would be wrong.
Who’s going to control the rodents in the stable if you sacrifice the adorable kittens to a satanic power? Because that’s what we got our adorable kittens for, and the female goes to town on them. I think I saw the male one catch a fly once.
I thought the stables was there to have somewhere to put the rodents…
I’m not crying you’re crying SHUT UP! ;^;
Whew, Sarah, that was a close one!
Yes, yes, yes! Anyone that takes a baseball bat to a rapists head to save someone else gets a lifetime pass in my book
Shes been screwed over and punished with isolation for doing the right thing (and it was the right thing by Dana) yet she still manages to find the courage to open up (remember it wasn’t that long ago that Joyce threw the Dana incident back in her face) to Joyce and admit her failings
Yes!
That last panel is kinda what I feel millennials and the next generation are moving towards. We saw a lot of pain and suffering and endured it as the previous generations fought against or indulged in a system that encouraged excess and greed.
And then things crashed.
In thirty years, we’ll be where they were in terms of power. And I feel like that last panel will be on someone’s mind as they make their decisions.
Looks like Joyce is about to cry
Not that this would be a bad thing. Much of Joyce’s earlier life experiences, teachings, and yes, prejudices are lying like ashes around her. Joyce is rising from the ashes of her previous life and becoming a new person in much the same way as the fabled phoenix. And all know that a phoenix’s tears have healing powers.
Awww 🙂 Cute page. Makes me happy Sarah has insight and is owning it.
Don’t worry, Sarah. That warm sensation you’re feeling is love for another person; it doesn’t mean that your skin is starting to burn. XD)))
Sarah tries hug, it’s super effective! *sob*