They’re about a month early, but here they are! All 11 of you who voted for today on the poll get major props. Zach and Chase, at about 6 and 5 pounds respectively. Does anyone ever really care about birth weights? Well, whatever.
Everyone’s healthy, so sweetass.
Goodbye, buffer.
Loading ...
She dropped it like Dez.
Person foul, unnecessary bullshit.
Number Walky and Bille.
Penalty is a guilt trip.
Replay relationships.
Mike is the ref you deserve.
He could make a bundle as a life coach.
I think at one point he was in the military, or has that not happened, someone please explain the relationship between shortpacked and this comic please.
There is no relationship between shortpacked and this comic. While DoA uses largely the same cast of characters on the surface, it is in a completely different universe that has had none of the aliens and crazy stuff that it’s walky/shortpacked ‘verse had.
Oh ok, thanks.
This is a separate universe from all of the other “Willis” comics.
Click the “About\Read before posting” link above the comic for a better understanding.
And now I know to refresh my page before posting…
I could see Mike as a military kid and involved in the school’s ROTC program to become an officer in some branch, or to be considering doing so.
Drill sergeant or OCS instructor would probably be a dream job for him, because you’re paid to be an asshole and tear people down, but also charged with rebuilding them into something better.
Heh, my RDCs kinda missed the memo about that second part.
Like me?
Well, at least Billie admits it.
I really like Billie as a character because of stuff like this — she grew up with Walky, and acts like him pretty often, but for all her faults she at least seems aware of when she’s being a shitbag.
Walky, not so much.
Yes, this exactly. Billie seems aware of where the line is, at the very least.
To Walky’s “credit”, he’s a doofus only because he is afraid of growing up and so he keeps acting like he was 10; he could be a lot more mature and aware of where the line is if he wasn’t so afraid of showing maturity.
Like, look at that last panel: he says he doesn’t cares, but his face says “Oh god, this is too complex, please stop I want everything to be back to normal why can’t it be normal I want to watch cartoons with my girlfriend and Joyce to be her usual annoyingly optimistic self and…”
so what I’m hearing here is that Walky is some kind of man-child tsundere
Yeah.
Yeah, Billie has grown up a lot in a short period of time and is becoming a better person for some of it. The negative though is that she’s replacing her judgment of others with crippling judgment of herself and self-hatred.
Because watching a friend lose everything like that can be difficult to watch. I feel your pain Joyce! Hang in there! It gets better, eventually!
BTW, congrats on becoming a parent to both of you.
Hearty congratulations and warm fuzzy thoughts to you and Maggie! And get sleep while you can, because it’s about to become a priceless commodity.
Yes, congrats! 😀 Way to go!
I know the best advice I got about it was “sleep when the baby sleeps; the dishes will wait.” I think that increases exponentially for twins. Hang in there! This is an awesome snuggly time as well as a sleepless one. Sleep will come. Later.
Heck, for twins send someone to Costco for cases of disposable plates, cups and cutlery. You’re never going to get the time to wash those dishes.
Yes, congratulations! Thank you for producing the workers and taxpayers of my dotage!
Yaaay, congratulations, mazal tov, all the wonderfulness to you and your family! <3
tbh i’m kind of amazed their babies are white
And just whathehell is that supposed to mean?
It’s because they were delivered C-section, natural delivery leaves babies that look like overripe tomatoes right after delivery
Also, the It’s Pregnancy strip. Walky as stand-in for Willis there . . .
….Urm…both parents look pretty white in photos. (AFAIK Willis is white, and the two times I’ve seen Maggie in a photo she’s light-skinned at the very least) So…what other colour would they be?
Red. I was rather amazed to see my neighbours’ newborn yesterday: he was a little white guy! All my nieces and nephews have been red.
And my great-nephews.
Congratulations!
And say bye-bye to sleep, haha!
Eh. I’ve always found that to be a joke more than anything else. Newborns sleep a lot, just in a different cycle. If Maggie is breastfeeding (and with twins, that might be a nightmare she’s unwilling to face, and I don’t blame her) they might get hungry every couple hours or so, and they might have reflux, but other than that…IDK, I’ve been a nanny for a lot of new parents/newborns, and while it is tiring, it’s not too horrible, and they usually start sleeping through the night from as early as two months, to six months.
That “every two hours” is at night, too.
And there goes the productivity of one more artist !
Woo-hoo! Congratulations on fulfilling your biological imperative, as you yourself noted. FEEL THE SATISFACTION! Hopefully your sleep cycles where irregular as it stood and won’t be too horribly mangled as a result of producing viable heirs.
Congratulations!
Agree, congratulations to you both!
I’m literally the only male guy I know who goes nuts over babies.
I think Male Guy is kinda redundant.
As someone who grew up thinking of the word ‘guy’ as gender neutral, I approve of the distinction.
Carry on.
You need to meet more male guys, I guess.
aww, those twins of yours are so cute! Was there much temptation to name them after Sal and Walky?
Mike calls it like it is.
And a big round of congrats for the birth of Zachary Dashiel and Chase Alexander Willis !!
Welcome to the world kids! May you cause no end to your parents’ anxiety and sleeplessness for the next two decades.
I just FEEL as somehow, Willis will involve his children somewhere down the line.
I’m a little surprised that neither of them was named after a Transformer.
Seriously, though, congratulations!
He Totally did
http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Chase_%28G1%29
Also, Chip’s last name was Chase. (If you’re too young to know who Chip Chase is, slap that name into the TFWiki and then get off my lawn. :p)
Those are some rocks to live up to, man. That kid tore a floppy disk in half and survived the Rainmakers’ acid rain, among other awesome feats. O.O
Or a Turtle.
Or Batman.
I’m batman.
Let us pray neither of them becomes Batman, given what that would mean for Willis and Maggie.
That they would be the proud parents of Batman?
I will guard that couple with my LIFE so that this can happen.
Part of becoming Batman is having your parents murdered in front of you.
There was the one alt-universe Bruce whose parents were saved by our Batman, thanks to the Phantom Stranger. He became Batman in honor of that mysterious savior.
I’m pretty sure the one is named after Rainbow Dash . . . the 20% cooler twin.
Dashiel (one or two l’s on the end, depending on whom you ask) is Flint (GI Joe)’s real name. Not sure if it was intentional, but as another Hasbro family, it’s def in the name bank. XD (Also: I totally have a “Rainbow Dashiel(l)” pic on my art to-do list. I actively seek out tickets to Hell. 😀 )
I always think of the noir crime writer, Dashiell Hammett. Also, Willis, for twins a month early, 5 and 6 lbs. is HUGE!
Yes, congratulations to the new parents, and yes, 5# and 6# preemies? A month early? Dayum they were going to be HUGE. Glad everyone’s healthy and good luck to y’all.
Dash is also a G1 autobot.
IDK, I’m nearing my third decade on this planet, and my mother still says she loses sleep over me. (And I am in fact a boring, responsible homebody whose biggest risk recently was splurging on a nice restaurant-dinner)
Parenting: The first 40 years are the hardest.
^ This. Granted, my daughter is only 19 months old, but I haven’t slept all the way through the night since I was seven months pregnant with her. I told my mom the other day that I’ve accepted the fact I’m never going to get a “full night’s sleep” again. 😐
Nearing your third decade? Or nearing the end of your third decade?
Your first decade was from birth to your tenth birthday. Your second decade started on your tenth birthday and ends on your twentieth birthday. Your third decade will start on your twentieth birthday, right?
There’s the good ol’ Mike we know.
He doesn’t point this out because it’s the right thing to do, just because they don’t want him to.
Mikes asshole games are usually always benign, for the peoples well being around he person he targets.
I am torn between Squee and wondering why I don’t pay more attention to newsposts. Squee is winning.
Congrats to the whole family!
This is so babies.
Babies McEnwillis?
Scratch that; obviously the plural of these twins is ‘Babies Maggie/Willis’
I’m still kinda disappointed that he didn’t name both babies “McIntyre.”
“toe” and “dad” just to piss off the fans
Is Mike’s nose permanently wrinkled?
It is his look of disgust. So, yes.
I think that’s his perma-scowl.
The longer you look the less it looks like a nose and the more it looks like Mike has a hole in his face.
Oh god, they all have it! College is turning them all into elephants!
^this. This comic is now nightmare fuel of college-students with giant holes in the middle of their faces.
omigosh! Congratulations on your babies!!
There’s annoying and then there’s unhealthy. Just because the sun’s smile blots out all darkness and makes you want to scream as your eyes burn out of your skull doesn’t mean you blow up the sun.
You put on some shades or go inside.
Well, you’ll never blow up the sun with an attitude like that, Mister!
Congratulations, Willises!
So Walky will lead the underground resistance to the Tyranny of Dark Joyce?
Joycinators? Ok, now I’m scared.(Why did I think of that?)
We Want Our Joyce Back
Gonna Cost Ya.
Congratulations Willis! I’m sure you and your wife will be awesome parents.
There’s that helpful Mike we all know.
Congrats on the little Willises!
Wait, Willis is a dad now with twins?? (Was he a dad before? I don’t know these things)
Congrats!
He was not, these are his first children.
By the time they reach college we might be done with this semester 😛
An education funded by
Patreon andSlipshine.I’d love to see *that* conversation.
Daddie, daddie what do you for a living?
I’m an Internet Pornlord.
#thingsthatwillhappen
Is “Pornlord” a title of nobility?
Yes.
Wait, that would mean it’s inherited…
Zach and Chase Willis, future Pornlords
Not necessarily. It might be a title awarded by a king or one won by a noble society or knighthood. Inherited titles imply estates associated with them. I don’t think Willis is ready to live in pornsylvania or be the lord of Pornwall Manor just yet. He probably just belongs to the High Order of the Phallus or something like that.
Sorry, but inherited titles don’t necessarily imply estates. The present Earl of Loudon lives in Wangaratta and drives a fork-lift in a warehouse. The ninth Earl Nelson was a police sergeant; his father was a poultry farmer, and his son the 10th earl is also a policeman.
Really, there’s an enormous difference between what they presumably wanted (typical cynical worldly college student) and the very real pain and anger that Joyce has right now. Mike should know that.
Why should he let logic get in the way of making people feel uncomfortable.?
This universe’s Mike is an anomaly. The same asshole as all the others, but this Mike seems to try to help people via his assholeness
That claim has been made before… many people disagree with the “Mike is secretly trying to do good with his assholeishness”.
For example, his initial drawing of a penis on Joyce’s whiteboard (and his switching of markers) were not meant to help anyone. And while joyce asked him to be a chaperone, punching people is something most would consider to be quite wrong.
Woot, parenthood! Congratulations! Best wishes for your upcoming happy days and sleepless nights. Take care of each other, hear? Also: *squeee!!*
Also, I already miss the sunny Joyce.
it seems Mike’s assholery has been benign this entire this whole time
I can think of at least one instance when he’s done it for revenge
“congrats on your ‘discovery'”
Revenge, but from his point of view it could also have been an attempt to save Dorothy from a lifetime of dutch ovens.
Mm. Well there was the time he took creepshots of Dorothy in order to sexually harass her for no reason other than she was in his room (kinda really super not okay):
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/snice/
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/gimme/
And there’s the time he told Amber (the person who suffered from domestic violence while he has been shown to do literally nothing to support her) that she was just like her abusive father, preying on her deepest fears:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/ensnared/
The time that he made things worse with Joyce’s mom which may actually have had real life consequences seeing as how Toedad appeared on campus the following day after that little exchange:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/answer-2/
There was the multiple times he played off the insecurities and jealousies of people with fragile relationships with masculinity, which may seem benign on the surface, but seeing as how a lot of mass shootings begin with someone with toxic masculinity feeling a sense of ownership and jealousy over someone they feel has “escaped” them, it’s not as benign as he may think it is:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-3/01-if-the-shoes-split/gutsy/
There was the time he invaded a Gender Studies class to harass a woman (yeah, okay, his “real” target was a man), but the arguments used were about harassing the woman for being so “classless” as to fall for the man as well as slut-shame her for having a sex drive, which is kind of really sexist and not appropriate, especially in that class context:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/03-the-first-step-towards-recovery/trespasser/
And he just generally targets on average the less powerful members of things:
Making Ethan feel bad for eating at a place that hates him instead of ever doing anything against the company that hurts his friend:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/swallow/
Going after Sal with more slut shaming and minimizing her accomplishments rather than Jason for violating all the regulations and abusing a position of power:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/assignments/
Sometimes he’s benign, sometimes he makes a good point, or punches up for once rather than down, but a lot of the time, he’s a sexist douchebag who trades on his privilege to feel “above it all”.
As always, I’m in full agreement. Mike really, really doesn’t work as this “Deliverer of harsh truths” people seem to hype him up as, and it’s hard to just laugh at him because so many of his actions are so repulsive that I can’t really laugh at them.
I think Willis made this point on his tumblr a while back, but there’s really nothing that Mike can do in the narrative that isn’t better served by other characters. Carla’s better at wacky, non-sequitur pranks and Sarah bluntly stating the facts is way more impacting than Mike doing it.
Yesssss I voted right! 😀 I just picked 4-6 Dec because it’s my birthday in that range too 😀
I’m sorry to tell you this, but they were born on the third. you were off by a day, you were close though.
well the third IS MY birthday, i voted for it, and told others to and willis commented back that it was happening and i was all like “Holy shit” but i couldnt pronounce it cause i had cake in my mouth
Oh Mike, way to push that uncomfortable truth out of the plane. Whether it remembered the parachute is up to it.
Also, major congratulations to David and Maggie on becoming parents and to Zach and Chase for making it out without one claiming victory over the other, as sharks are known for!
Also without having one twin born grabbing the other’s heel, in a narratively symbolic manner.
Although… did Chase come second?
Thank you mike and congratulations to the Willis family!
Did Walky just go male tsundere on us over here?
He always was.
I…think you’re both right. I never realized how much of a tsundere he is until now… but it all fits. O.o
Throwing things at a girl you like is one of the classic signs. Granted, it is more commonly done in kindergarten than college, but some people take longer to develop.
Walky and Joyce have had that “I hate you so much, what are we doing for lunch today?” thing going for pretty much the whole comic. I find it a lot more endearing than the “literally made for each other” romance in the old universe.
I find more surprising that Billie isn’t being all tsundere about it. I tend to just assume that she’s tsundere for pretty much everyone. A Billie who can openly express her feelings for other people confuses me.
Personally I think Walky has that with Joyce more than the other way around – lately I get the feeling she genuinely can’t stand him anymore.
How much of that is a function of all the other shit going on, I wonder?
Somewhere in the earlier comment sections, someone was all ‘this could totally be that universe where Walky and Dotty stay together’ and Willis burst their bubble.
Hang on, I gotta find it.
But I know it’s somewhere
Good hunting.
It’s not that universe because that universe had Walky and Dorothy meet in high school. In this universe Dorothy went to high school with Danny and Joe.
Also she didn’t lose two sets of parents.
Though I guess being friends with Danny and Joe is an apt replacement.
“I find more surprising that Billie isn’t being all tsundere about it. I tend to just assume that she’s tsundere for pretty much everyone. A Billie who can openly express her feelings for other people confuses me.”
Well, she’s been openly admitting for awhile that she doesn’t like the person she has been up until this point. And she’s been slapped pretty hard with an old friend/lover saying she hated her with a passion. Ruth is important to her, and she wants to protect her. I think she’s in a very good place to understand what she values in her current situation and wants to hold on to.
Tsundere is just tsundere. It doesn’t have a default gender.
Congrats! (Kind of ironic they’re making their appearance during a storyline called “The Perfect Girl.”)
Maybe Maggie/Mommy is “That Perfect Girl”?
Technically it’s “That Perfect Girl”. I think it’s a reference to a song lyric that goes: “That perfect girl is gone.”
Sorry for the pedantry. I just think that it’s a slightly different implication.
Babies!!! Congratulations!! Twins are great. All the best to you guys.
Oh wow, congrats to you and your lovely new family!!
I don’t think your gravatar lets you say anything without insinuating a twinge of sarcasm. Sorry.
He knew what he was doing when he chose it. Now SUFFER… I mean, carry on.
I am not ever going to be able to take Mike seriously with his O-face just hanging up there on the slipshine banner.
congrats on the tiny (assumed) humans!
has Maggie been talking to any aliens lately?
Also the slipshine banner makes me scared to read Dumbing of Age at school
Three solutions present themselves.
1- Don’t read DoA at school. There are many other things you can read if you have to kill time between classes; I recommend Worm, as it’s so absurdly long it can easily last more than a semester.
2- Hide your screen. Sit with your back to a corner, and be ready to tab away or scroll. There are far, far worse things to be caught reading – DoA is pretty harmless – and most people who notice will prefer NOT to know what someone’s hiding.
3- Stop giving a fuck.
All 3 have worked rather well for me.
I am considering buying a copy of dumbing of age book 1 and donating it to my schools library to help with the slowly growing graphic novel section
I’m sure Willis would appreciate your purchase.
I’m sure your classmates would appreciate your purchase.
I’m sure the principal would not.
Do it anyway.
I don’t think my principal really has any say in library purchases, or wants to. Its pretty confined.
Congratulations, David and Maggie Willis!
Congratulations and i wish the best to your family!!!
Brand new tiny Willises! 😮 Congrats!!
And there’s why Mike’s here.
Congrats, David and Maggie! (Also this comic is good)
ohmygod willis babies
Congratulations!!
Congratulations David and Maggie, and welcome Zach and Chase!
BABIES. Congratulations!
Oh my gosh babies!!! They are beautiful! Congratulations!
Re: Babies. Welcome to the world boys! You two are adorable~
Re: Comic. Mike does have his moments of causing forceful and unpleasant realization.
I swear if you do not play John Denver’s “A Baby Just Like You” for one of those kids this Christmas, I will find you…
and I’ll throw a rock at you (it’ll be a big rock.)
Congratulations!
OMG! This is so babies! XD Congratulations! 😀
Congratulations on the twins!!!
I’ll be honest. My hatred for children is unending as the universe, but even I have to admit that they’re adorable! Congrats Willis!
Congratulations Maggie and David!
(Don’t sweat the buffer, that’s what it’s there for!)
I shall pass on the words of advice my mother gave to me on the raising of twins: when you get them home put a dot of permanent marker or nail polish something else that won’t wash away easily on one of their backs and reapply it as it fades until you can easily tell one from the other.
(We do not actually know if my younger brother’s still each has the name they were born with or if she got them switched the day she came up with that trick because she’d lost track of which was which while bathing them.)
I know someone that had a single dot tattooed on 1 twins ear on the way home from the hospital. Worked until the twins wised up and got the other one tattooed. Ha!
That’s awesome!
I have cousins who are identical twins and very much alike, but one settled in London (UK) and the other moved to Vancouver (BC). And back in those days before budget airlines they didn’t get together very often. So Jonathan’s eldest daughter got to be three or four before she ever saw her Uncle Chris. And when she did, she absolutely refused to accept that he was Uncle Chris. Not that she ever confused them: she could tell them apart without hesitation, but Jonathan was “Daddy” and Chris was “More Daddy”.
That
is adorable. My keyboard randomly tabbing me forward to the “post comment” button, less so.
If it turned out they were 2/3 of a set of triplets, would the other have been ‘TOO MUCH DADDY’?
Birth weights only matter when it comes to following recipes.
oh god
To Serve Man– it’s a cook book!
That was horrible XD
I thought it was something of a modest proposal.
YES!!!
Must write a song about that, be right back…
A slight soupconne of sauted placenta, and we’re crispy brown!
Not that I do not enjoyed today’s strip, the Mike bomb was AMAZING! But man, the twins news is AWESOME! I remember meeting you at Comi-Con and asked for a Walky and Sal sketch since they have a special spot in my book because I’m a twin myself, and you shared the fact you were about to have twins as well.
Congratulations man, you and your lady are in for a ride, the BEST ride… all the best wishes, for double. After a not so good day, this news is really a great turn of events.
ZOMG SO MANY BABIES
I don’t know I missed the days where we could laugh a her for using a Dildo as a lightsaber as she pretended to be a jedi.
I haven’t thought it through, but something tells me the point of this comic is Billie in the last panel.
Congrats on the kids! Never pegged you as that big of a Throttlebot fan, lol
Get some sleep when you can
Are they both girls?
How many girls do you know named Zack?
Not enough.
Short for Zacharina!
Congratulations Dvid and Maggie!
David. Sorry!
As a ten-pound-plus baby, I have it on good authority from my mum that sometimes the weight matters very much indeed. Sorry, Mum.
And congrats, Willis!
My theory is people want to know the weight so they can use it as a metric to establish their baby-making prowess.
…12 pounds even.
(As my mother will proudly declare whenever the opportunity arises).
I’ve always assumed it is because there isn’t much else to say about a baby individually at that point. You have general state of health, gender, and weight, and that’s it. You can’t ask how they are doing in school, what their foods they like, or which Transformer is their favorite.
Not all that long ago birth weight was an important indicator of infant health. Anything under five pounds eight was starting to get worrying.
11 pounds of kid, huh?
Congratulations, you guys.
Meta as hell.
*sips tea*
Also congrats on babies!
Congratulations!!!
Sorry, Walky, Billie, once the glass is cracked, it’s impossible to repair. Also, props to Mike for calling them out on their bullshit.
I think it’s her outlook they want fixed, and those are generally what’s behind the glass… Picking out all the shards is bound to be time-consuming and painful, but when it’s done she should be able to see more clearly.
…That metaphor got away from me a little…
Mike is being a pane in the glass?
How does Mike keep being the voice of reason here?
And congratulations on your new babies!
This is why we need more of him around.
He best stay away from Ruthless.
I’ve been waiting for Mike and Ruth to clash. I envision the classic action movie shot of all the windows in the dorm blowing out simultaneously!
Mike is the best voice of reason. At least as long as the truth hurts.
Congratulations on the babies! They’re adorable!
When my kid was a newborn, I remember thinking “damn, Willis has it right. This is so totally babies.” Let me be among the first to assure you it gets better.
Congrats on the babies! My sister had twins back in January, so I know a little what it’s like. Good luck with the poops and peepee :}
Whooo your junk works?
THROWBACK
I just realized the babies are (putatively) named Dash and Chase. Willis, I hope you and Maggie have some good running shoes, because it sounds like you’re gonna need ’em.
Well, it’s not quite as good as having a litter of kittens, but I suppose they’re cute… for, y’know, furless beings. Congratulations on having fertile sperm! and my sympathies to your wife’s lower torso.
Mike has always been my favourite character. He has just become supreme overlord character. I would love it if he helped Joyce get back to normal.
For a nickel, he will.
Oh god that sounds so wrong I am sorry.
Never apologize for the truth.
I’m hoping this leads to Willis’s inspiration of what he can do with Mike too! I miss the guy…
Super-congrats, to you and your wife, Willis!! Your twins are Sagittariuses, which is a fabulous outcome! Look it up—they’re going to be so much fun! Welcome, Zach and Chase!
Most excellent congrats on the babies, Mr. Willis!! It ain’t easy raising kids (I have 4), but it IS worth it!! May blessings abound to you and your family!
Congratulations!
you think this bad wait till the day Joyce’s parents toss out Jocelyne for being a T
Luckily she has her own place, so she has that piece covered. The emotional fallout will be tough.
Congratulations on the twins!
Or is it one baby & his mirror-universe duplicate?
Must be a pretty shitty mirror; one baby is one whole pound heavier than the other.
They’ll clearly need to draw a goatee on one of them.
If that were the case, their names would be Len and Rin.
[not sorry]
tsundere!Walky?
“I-it’s not like I care about this acquaintance or anything.”
“B-baka…”
Also congrats on the bbys! 😀
Congratulations Willises! The buffer will be sacrificed to a worthy cause.
Congrats on your wonderful babies! 8D That’s so exciting!
Congratulations, everyone healthy is awesome!
Buffer, we hardly knew ye. 😉
Nice Simpsons reference in the first panel.
Will there be much toiling in Joyce’s underground Bible caves?
It is the Mandatory Fun Sessions that are the really rough parts.
They have to listen to Weird Al? I, for one, welcome this!
Baby Woot!
Wait up a second. Mike is actually defending someone? Or maybe it’s just a returned favour for that date where he was allowed to punch joe. But still. Mike defending or sticking up for someone is about as weird as Joyce swearing
For every person Mike defends, at least two must be taken down a peg.
He’s not so much defending someone as he is rubbing their faces in their inconsistencies.
Yes. The defense of Joyce is just a by-product.
Woo! Congratulations David and Maggie from someone on the internet that you don’t know!
Let me add my congratulations to you and your partner, and best wishes to your (rapidly increasing) family.
Mazel tov to you and your wife on your spawn!
I feel like Mike’s explanation doesn’t really apply to Walky that much. He seemed much more annoyed with Joyce’s beliefs and how they intersect with her life than her sunny disposition.
It kinda looks like Billie was about to say “Cursing, angry Joyce is just fun” and then realized how wrong that was mid-sentence.
I have a question as someone who’s kind of a n00b to the Walky-verse, is Mike actually a horrible person or does he just act like kind of a dick?
that’s a philosophical question the answer to which depends on your definition of “horrible person”
(P.S. This is the Dumbing-verse. The Walky-verse is Willis’s other series of webcomics.)
I don’t know what Mike’s blurb says in the cast page, but it used to say something like, “Mike is an asshole. Anything more is a stretch.”
Mike is an awesome person who has perfected the science of helping by being a dick and magnificent pain in the ass and then elevated it to a fine art.
If Mike’s ‘perfected the art of helping’ in any sense, perfection is meaningless.
The only thing he’s actually accomplished is convincing Ethan to crawl back into the closet. And that was one of the few times one of his dick comments could be taken as a ‘harsh truth’…if Ethan had decided not to ignore the sarcasm dripping off it.
Oh, sorry. Imagine there were quotes around the “helping”
Fair enough.
As always, it takes Mike to point out hypocritical bullshit on sight. It’s a pity that the only result was an embarrassed claim of apathy rather than positive action.
At this point, “doing nothing” is probably the most positive action these two can manage right now. Joyce is in pain right now, and their suggestion would only lead to her trying to mask or hide those feelings, which would just compound the problems she’s facing.
They’re better off letting Joyce be herself, and just being there as friends, rather than actively trying to achieve a personality outcome.
I’m so glad Becky remembers to look out for Joyce, and I find it hilarious how she just drags a completely deadpan Dina along. Somehow I think that is a common occurrence in their relationship.
Yeah. And it means that their friendship is only getting stronger as much as Joyce is bothered by Becky’s “evilutionist” scienamatist ways. Clearly, she has opened up to Becky about the can’t be outside alone PTSD and Becky is clearly prioritizing that and looking out for her while still also making sure Dina also gets facetime.
Everything is breaking for the better.
All the congratulations, babies! You have rad parents.
Let’s all give Willis the gift of not messing up the comment section for a month or so. Can we go a month without posting anything that has to be moderated?
I half expect this sentiment to show up in the announcements on one of the next few days, because it probably ought to be there. No need to add to the pile of shit Willis has to deal with, when he’s going to have his hands full taking care of literal shit. (Ideally, not adding to the shitpile would be an obvious standard for all situations, but… internet, you know.)
I wish! But I seriously doubt that the internet can go half a day without saying very unacceptable things.
That’s a really generous time frame.
[Insert inappropriate #### joke here]
Real glad I changed my alias before it became an inconvenience.
Welcome to the world, Zach and Chase!
Having raised twins myself, I predict a strong and intense, but very worthwhile, experience. Best of luck and lots of joy!
I usually don’t post, because I have a tendency to say stupid things that I immediately regret. However, I’m breaking my silence to say CONGRATULATIONS! TWINS! YAY!
OMG! congrats for your children! Welcome to this world!
btw, about the strip, thanks to Mike for being that crude once again, here it was quite necessary
Congratulations to David and Maggie on the arrival of Zach and Chase! May everything go well and sleep not be missed!
Omg,omgomgomg!
Congratulations!
All the best!!!!
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Congratulations, hope the buffer holds up!
Mike is suddenly 3D! (but, his hair is still 2D)
noooo no more it’s pregnancy!
I mean, congratulations! Welcome to the world Zach and Chase!
Awww, congratulations!
Today, those two have Won the Internet. 🙂
Grats on the offspring, Mr. Willis.
Congrats on the new minicons, Willis.
And a warm welcome to Zach and Chase.
Remember kids: everybody lies.
Congrats on being babid!
Yay! Babies! Congratulations to both parents and children!
Kinda feel awkward putting a personal message in the comments for a specific comic, but I think this warrants an exception. Congratulations on the twins!
Congratulations! ! Omg babies! With teeny toes! Here’s a link to help you calm babies faster, hopefully I’m not embarrassing myself or anything (I’ve done so a few times on twitter with you Dx ) https://youtu.be/j2C8MkY7Co8
But my buddy had a baby recently and she’s relatively calm, so here’s hoping your buffer won’t suffer!
Muy Congrats! Cigars all around!
Congratulations! Parenthood is the best thing ever to happen to me, and I hope nothing less for you.
Congratulations! And for the next few months, whenever you have a choice between having a nap and doing something else, almost always choose the nap.
Mazel tov!!!!
Dawwwwwww! Très cute! (Or should that be “two cute”‽)
Deux cute!
Double cute!
Cute squared? (Cute to the second power?)
Cute and Cuter!
Must. Stop. Must. Stop.
Hey! That means that Joyce is walking alone.
And bumps into … Ryan. Next scene: Joyce getting a brace on her other arm.
Unless she decides to…unman with a kick in the crotch.
*him
People to support you in your old age when you realize you made no money drawing cartoons for a living! Huzzah!
Hey, it can’t be that bad. He makes more than twice what I do a month from his Patreon alone. Ad revenue and book sales seemed to be enough before Patreon came around.
How shnikes hes a father of twins. Congraduations!
Truth.
Checkmate.
congrats!
Twins?!?
Well, this is why you build a 5-year buffer of comics to post. Well planned.
And, of course, congratulations to your wife and yourself.
And don’t worry, I know several parents who survived twins.
I know a mom who’s surviving TWO sets of twins.
also OMG BABIES
I want to hold them and love them and then give them back because they are not mine.
The best kind of babies. Ones you can give back. 🙂
Congrats on your small ones! May they not grow up to be assholes on the internet.
Mikes hair is no longer defying gravity anymore, the world is going to end.
(third panel)
Hey those are really healthy weights for single babies, extra healthy awesome weights for twins! Congrats and YAY!
Beautiful babies, man…. way big CONGRATs!!!!!!!
Aww, Billie does care, after all!
FUCKIN NERD I KNEW IT
Finally, after so long… after SO MANY “Damn You, Willis”es – our prayers have FINALLY been answered!!
Enjoy your little ‘blessings’, Willis!
HAAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHA
AAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
MWWHAAHAHAAHAAAHAH
Seriously, congratulations, you two
AHAAHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAAAHA
MWAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHAAHAA
unrealted, but congratulation on the babies.
Stop making sense, Mike. You aren’t allowed to be the voice of reason.
Congrats, Daddy Dave! And more importantly, to the momma!
So, is Billie agreeing with Walky (Yes I don’t really care) or admitting that she does want the old pre-broken Joyce back? Agreeing with Walky would seem to be a dick move and probably untrue. Wanting Joyce to be innocent but not yet broken by the world would be a little heartbreaking.
She’s admitting she misses the old Joyce.
I took it as a ‘yes’ to Mike’s question. She wants the old Joyce back. And, moments like this are why Mike is awesome.
To be fair on Billy and Walky, there’s a difference between ribbing somebody for their quirks and actually hoping they’ll turn into a ball of angst and depression and fear. I used to make fun of a friend for being so extreme in his “I must be the pinnacle of politeness and perfection while in uniform” attitude. That doesn’t mean I would be happy if he got beat up, started ditching class, smoking pot, and snapping at anybody who dared have different political views than him.
Yes, this. And, also, you know, this isn’t the only other option. She could have continued to evolve, instead of breaking. I’m sure Walky and Billie would have been perfectly happy with that.
Mike hit the nail on the head. It’s extremely hypocritical and problematic for Joyce that everyone around her has made fun of and shamed her faith when she was joyous about it, but then the moment she goes through trauma to make her falter and question, demand that she go back to “how she was”.
How she was wasn’t good enough for them before and they actively tried to change her. Now that she has changed, it’s inconvenient. It’s an entirely selfish premise to operate from, especially now since everything she’s upheld as dear to her is crumbling and she needs support for her transition, not people trying to push her back into the old mold because it was more fun for them when she was the “dumb fundy girl that won’t say ‘Damn'”.
Maybe Billie will shape up, but Walky’s probably going to continue being a brat until Dorothy notices, chews him out, and tells him to leave when he asks for sexytime. No dick is worth keeping around if it is actively dismissive and callous towards the suffering of friends.
But hey, I’m sure Walky’s upcoming crisis where he flunks his classes because he slacked off and didn’t study will consist of him crying about why no one feels sorry for him or wants to bend over backwards to comfort and help him. He’s the highschool boy genius and the favorite child, that has to mean something right?
I think of groups as being a stew. Every ingredient is necessary to the end result. Dark Joyce changes the flavor dramatically and it should upset others. ‘Course friends should just work to accept the new status quo and not selfishly want only the old way but Walky’s not really a very good friend to anyone on Earth, is he?
Walky can be charitably described as a butthole, but he’s not that selfish. Brushing things off with “who cares” power masculinity is what he does.
As for his reacting to his slipping grades, well, I think he’s too ashamed of them right now to even contemplate crying about it.
Or maybe they’re just worried about her now? Maybe they did think she needed to change, but that doesn’t mean they should accept the new status quo of traumatized miserable angry Joyce?
Because traumatized pretending to be happy Joyce was so much better?
Sure, Mike’s doing his thing, attacking them for a bit of hypocrisy, but it’s not aimed in any good direction. If he gets them to accept her how she is now, rather than help her, that’s not a good thing.
The old Joyce is gone. Dead. Now she has to find a new equilibrium by going through this dark phase. She might be happy, sunny realistic Joyce in the end but making her go back to happy, sunny clueless Joyce would only be good for others who don’t want their comfort zone fucked with…
Accepting the “new Joyce” isn’t the issue… it’s accepting that she going through some pretty fucked up stuff and is changing, whether she or they like it or not. No one is going to be able to turn back time and make Ross less of a controlling dick who thinks a Ruger will help him solve all his ungodly problems.
She needs support and encouragement to seek professional help. Billie is probably becoming aware of that as she is, to some degree, capable of thinking about the wellbeing of others in a way that doesn’t benefit her. Walky genuinely doesn’t care about anyone else’s problems at all unless they affect his ability to have fun, and right now… Joyce is only an issue because she’s not ‘fun’, and will probably cause other things like Dorothy to not be fun either. He might not be alien super powered, but he’s not much different than IW Walky in that it took him a very long time and some horrible situations to force him to learn empathy.
Congrats to both of you!! 😀 Welcome to the world, Zach and Chase! 😀
That’s the thing I love about Mike: he’s pretty consistently only an asshole when you’re being an asshole. He’s uncomfortable truth in human form. He says exactly what you don’t want to hear, which often ends up being exactly what you need to hear.
What I’m saying is, more Mike, Willis. More Mike.
(also congrats on being a dad now, that too)
That perfect girl, she’s gone forever.
All those smiles in the golden sun.
My bones grow old and the rain comes down
I sit here waiting for that perfect girl
well i was thinking of
Dude, I don’t know whether to Congratulate you or comiserate with you.
Twins!
Well, at least you now have some potentile new characters to add in the future!
(Good luck on the buffer!)
still stoked you had twins on my birthday
Congrats on obtaining a couple of new playthings for Miss Sakaki!
From Spain, congratulation David and your wife, for your babys. Be happy and fine. 😀
Couldn’t we have sunshine with some showers? A permanent mode switch seems … harsh.
双子の赤ちゃんのご誕生おめでとうございます！
Despite what it may do to your free time, congratulations to your new additions to the Willis family! Can’t wait to see how they’ll affect future stories!
As many others have said, congratulations on the doubling of your family size, I trust mother is fine. Good size for month early twins. Hopefully the comic gods are smiling on you and you manage to get something resembling a decent nights sleep over the next few years, and manage to keep a reasonable buffer. Must say I was halfway expecting a McIntyre to show up as a middle name. Also looking forward to the new webcomic, It’s babies!.
TINY TOWEL WRAPPED SWEET POTATOES!
Hey, congrats!
Congratulations on the birth of your adorable babies!!
Joyce’s sunny nature was a bit grating. But that was Joyce. This is like she’s coming unglued at the edges. Gradual changes make sense. Sudden ones are…worrying.
Sudden changes for the worse, even more so. There is nothing good down the path of clinging to the source of every negative belief she’s ever had (the inerrancy of not just the Bible, but the interpretation of it that she grew up with) while discarding the source of the good beliefs (a belief in the genuine goodness at the core of humanity). This is a path that creates Ross, or at best, Mrs Brown.
Congrats on healthy twins. Did an Xbox achievement notice pop up in your field of vision?
Welcome to the world, Zachary and Chase.
So, it seems Becky knows now that Joyce can’t walk places alone. Joyce is clearly not in a good place now, but it’s good to see that there are supportive people who were on her side. Joyce really needs a supportive network of friends right now.
Hey, good point… I had overlooked that. (Remember in the conversation between Joyce and Sal before the kidnapping that she said only Ethan and Amazi-girl knew about her problems being alone in public.) Guess she must have opened up a bit more.
Just wanted to join with pretty much everyone else and congratulate Willis on the twins. (Although if it were triplets, he could do a pretty kick-ass juggling act.)
“Alas, poor Yorick… and his two buddies!”
All hail the Willis-spawn!
This made me smile:
“at about 6 and 5 pounds respectively. Does anyone ever really care about birth weights?”
…because where I’m from, birth weights are specified in grams. It is serious business. 🙂
Congrats, Willis! As a former infant and current twin, I can only pass on my kickass mother’s wisdom. She said that twins are nightmarish infants, but from toddler up, they’re way easier than single children. They have a built-in playmate and friend! They’re effectively self-entertaining. They speak in tongues. My twin and I still form an unintelligible dynamic duo whenever we reunite. Well done on the double babies, sir. May they bring you incredible joy.
Congratulations! Much happiness to you and your entire family!
After catching up on the Walkypedia to read more about the characters, I gotta say its sad how much disdain there is between this Joyce and Walky, especially after reading the “It’s Pregnancy” strips.
Not really reading any of the other comics until I read the first 100 strips of Shortpacked and maybe the first five of It’s Walky, I feel bad the Willis said to me on patreon that there’s no more stories for that universe. And with that universe’s Dina dying and coming back at the very end of SP, I would’ve liked to see what Walky’s and Mike’s reactions were to this (Walky was her boyfriend for a time and Mike had feelings for her too).
Tell yourself that after Dorothy goes away to her dream school, Walky and Joyce are thrown together through her absence and romance develops. By the time you learn it isn’t true you’ll have died of old age.
Congratulations!
Congratulations to Maggie on no longer subletting her womb.
Congrats from me too.
And happy birthday to the twins!
Per Twitter, Chase is lifting his head and looking around. That’s because he has something to say to his daddy:
*Darth Vader voice* Damn you Willis!
(I hope you’re having as much fun with your babies as I am! 🙂 )
Congratulations, David and Maggie! 🙂
Hello, Zach and Chase!
Goodbye, buffer! But the loss of the buffer is for a good cause…
Birth nerds always care. Mine was born similarly early at four pounds one ounce. She went home when I did, though! Best wishes to your wife in her recovery from surgery!
Mazel Tov, David. May you and your wife get the greatest gift of all: sleep.
Yay congratulations! Those are good weights for babies a month early!
Oh yeah! Mike lays down some Truth on Walky and Billy.
Like Mike, if I can be like Mike.
Forgot to congratulate David for the twins: congratulations!!
*
Ugly situation aint it
Looks like somebody really DOES like krabby patties (AKA Joyce)…
I hate that I only really get to check the comic once a week… I’m always behind on the news! Congrats on the babies!!!