I saw the pilot when I was in college, back when the Monarch was just glorified fodder for Samson instead of the shining beacon of failure he is now. The pilot didn’t seem to do much to go beyond what Adult Swim was typically known for, but the episodes produced afterwards quickly changed that.
This was pretty much my reaction to the strip too. ‘Yep, protect the face, that’s good thinking’. Didn’t think Jason Voorhees until I glanced at other people’s comments.
My first thought was that the cat was a hallucination and that Amber had finally gone completely around the bend. Guess that says something about the kind of movies I like to watch.
It’s not just a beat panel; she went somewhere during it and returned with a hockey mask. But did she run back to her dorm room the Amazi-Lair to grab it out of her closet the Amazi-Armory? Did she find an all-night sporting goods store and purchase it? Did she drop in on the local underground midnight hockey league and go all, “Excuse me, citizens. Don’t panic. I must commandeer your hockey mask. Thank you for your assistance”? Does she keep it somewhere on her person where she can’t get it out on-camera? Does she have Amazi-caches scattered about campus?
I’ve always associated that mask with Bloody Mary, but then I started hoping that Mary would try to get that cat down.
… Was that too harsh?
… yeah, no.
My cat once decided to climb up the chain link fence surrounding a tennis court. I had to climb up after her because she couldn’t get down… I’m so lucky she didn’t claw my face off.
Knew a guy who could do cartwheels in his full plate.
It’s all about how you hang it. Chain’s actually worse because all the weight is on your shoulders (although a belt helps slightly).
Rather climb a tree in full plate than chain mail. Plus the plate would be better for keeping out cat claws (might go straight through the chain if the gaps are big enough) and if you fell, it’d give you more protection.
The guy who did cartwheels actually got hit by a small Honda doing pretty close to town speeds. His knees took out the grill, the rest of him took out the hood and the windshield. The suit was all scratched up; he was fine; the car most definitely was not.
A guy I know in the SCA used to go to the fighter practice in Boston, and since he didn’t have a car, this meant he would ride the T in his armor, because wearing it is by far the easiest way to carry it. Well, one day, one of the local dukes was practicing up to fight in Crown, so practice was basically “everybody fights the duke until they’ve had enough”. The duke was a lefty, and kept hitting my friend with the same shot – a wrap into the back of the right thigh – and over the course of the practice brutalized that leg.
Well, after practice, he was limping back from the T stop to his apartment, and a passing truck tagged him, bumper clipped him right in the back of the thigh. The driver came to a screeching halt, jumped out, and was all, “Oh my god, I hit you, are you okay?!”
My friend said, “No, no, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I’m wearing armor,” but the driver insisted on taking him to the clinic to be checked out. My friend didn’t have anything better to do, so he let the guy drive him over to the clinic.
Doctor came in, he dropped his pants, and the doctor checked out the huge, obvious bruise on his thigh. “Wow, that’s a nasty one,” the doctor said. “You say you were hit by a truck?”
My mail (about 40 pounds, not including the helm) is actually heavier than my plate was (about 35 pounds, also not including helm). It is flexier and easier to move in, though. I can do somersaults and cartwheels in either. There’s been more than once I’ve gotten bowled over by a charge, turned it into a backwards somersault, rolled back onto my feet, and ganked the guy who knocked me down. My shield is a bigger hindrance to this sort of thing than the armor.
I can’t say as I’ve ever climbed a tree in armor, but I did once climb the outside of our DM’s condo to his second-floor balcony in my plate. He’d been telling me that it was impossible for my D&D character to do something similar (this was back in the 2E days before Climb skills and ACP that would’ve provided actual rules for such things), so I said, “Okay, I’ve got my armor in the back of my car. I’ll show you.”
One of the little ways that my time in the SCA enriched my life is that I know what someone walking around in armor sounds like – the clatter of the legplates and the rhythmic ‘shing, shing, shing’ of the mail.
I’m going to assume Amazi-girl ritualistically sacrifices small animals while wearing a hokey mask because that’s more fun than thinking she just saves them.
Oddly enough, my initial reaction didn’t go to face protection or Voorhees. It went to avoiding recognition by the cat, so that the cat can’t recognize your face and meow whenever it sees it, even it she’s out of her disguise. That’s the way it works with crows. (In fact, if you ever want to piss off someone who lives near crows, harass them while wearing a mask that makes you look like him. The crows will harass him for eternity, long after the original harassed crows have died off.)
My first thought was that she was allergic to the cat and wanted to minimize the amount of cat fur that would fly into her face while removing it from the tree.
Um, I like everyone’s witty banter here, but am I really the only one that’s going to ask? How did she beat that dude up yesterday? In fact, Dave Willis, could we please have some flashback on Amber’s karate training? I love that she’s a superhero and tough. Agile and strong. But those characteristics alone aren’t going to overcome a big dude’s natural advantages of strength and size.
It’s seriously affecting my ‘suspension of disbelief’.
On top of that, Creepy Dude from yesterday probably hasn’t any training in martial arts. Wheras Blaine decided that giving Amber self-defense training was better than sending her to a shrink like everyone else wanted. I think, from what the strip shows us again and again, we know which option won out.
All else being equal, size and strength will win in a fight.
All else is not equal here. Amazi-Girl is a friggin’ superhero, and her opponent was some random dudebro. From what we’ve seen in the strip, A-G is amazingly physically capable – strong, athletic, and knows how to use it. Just in the last strip, we saw her leap high enough to knee a dude taller than her in the face. (Go ahead, try that. It’s not easy.) And she beats the shit out of people a lot. Even if she had never had any formal training (and it’s been implied (if not outright stated; I don’t remember) that she has), she’s had enough practice to learn a thing or two.
I’ve observed before… Amber’s kind of a chunky girl. But from what we’ve seen Amazi-Girl do, I’m pretty sure that the Amazi-Rack is the only part of that that’s soft weight. She’s probably actually heavier than she looks, because muscle is denser than fat. And blow power comes from the hips, and she’s got those to spare.
Dudebro, on the other hand… well, we don’t know all that much about him. He’s bigger than she is. He’s not super-fat, but he looks pretty soft. His only six-pack is the ones he’s been lifting to pack on that weight. And from his attack method, he knows jack about fighting.
I find it totally plausible that Amazi-Girl hit him until he stopped trying to get back up, and he never laid a hand on her.
Much like her alter-ego did to her own father not all that long ago.
All that works to a point. In a world without radioactive spider bites, babies rescued from doomed planets, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords, etc., Amazi-Girl can be beaten by a stronger opponent who also knows how to fight. Or someone who is armed. Or by more than one person. Or by being unlucky (or sleep deprived). She won’t win every fight, forever. She only has to lose once.
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Mask? Check. Chainsaw? Working on it.
If a chainsaw is unavailable, a hockey stick is acceptable.
Or a golf bag full of club-like sports items.
Maybe just a selfie stick 😀
“Beaten to death with a selfie stick” has nice ring to it.
Goongala.
The Goongas.
I was not expecting to see The-Evil-Midnight-Bomber-What-Bombs-At-Midnight this morning, and then your gravitar… Bravo! To that I have but one reply:
Spoon!
Wait, what? How are you going to cut a tree down with a hockey stick?
Well, she’s gonna get the cat down by fine tuning her slam dunk.
…You know, I totally missed that aspect of the joke. I went for the pop culture aspect without logic even entering into it.
How about a herring?
I think it would be kind of fishy if she ‘ad one redy …
Well thats only if she can’t get a satisfactory shrub.
First off, that’s “shrubbery”, second off, “it”
Maybe a red one…?
Ah, the Knights who say Ni.
Or, rather, the knights who say Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-PaKANG-ZOOM-Poing-kzmbazmba.
Ni!
You know, a chainsaw COULD get that cat on the ground…
Chainsaw good.
Does she dare live out the cliche?
She then murders that cat.
This kills the cat.
It’d too bad someone let the cat out of the bag. It was so safe
It was so curious
I say that cats up to no good I predict it fries from Amazi-squirrels grasp and then hot-dogs it to the ground …
… after all poor Amber is already barking mad – the treemendous strain associated with this might leaf her out of her tree.
Ch-Ch-Ch…
Meow-meow-meow
“You mess with the cat, you get the CLAWS.”
“You mess with the girl, you get THE HITLER!!”
Go Team Venture!
Wait, what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF-BO2N8hvY It’s a Venture Brothers thing.
…Wait, what?
Oh, Venture Brothers. Don’t mind me, I’ll just smile and nod and work my way towards the exit.
It seemed like there wasn’t a lot of Girl Hitler in The Venture Bros. Turns out that is the case (two episodes).
TRUE FACTS: I became a Venture Bros. fan the same way I became a Get Smart fan… we left the TV on whatever and ended up watching.
Only for those two shows, though.
Possibly Mythbusters, but I can’t remember
I saw the pilot when I was in college, back when the Monarch was just glorified fodder for Samson instead of the shining beacon of failure he is now. The pilot didn’t seem to do much to go beyond what Adult Swim was typically known for, but the episodes produced afterwards quickly changed that.
Apart from Doctor Who and the recent spate of superhero TV shows, I think that’s the only way I started watching anything.
“THE CAT HAIR IN MIEN WATTEERR!!”
OF COOOURRSEE!!!!
Kitlers?
Yep, protect that face when getting a cat out of a tree
This was pretty much my reaction to the strip too. ‘Yep, protect the face, that’s good thinking’. Didn’t think Jason Voorhees until I glanced at other people’s comments.
I thought both things simultaneously.
Yup. Our cat got stuck on the roof. Saw her on my way to work; my husband had to get her down.
When he got close enough, she got down by jumping onto his head and hanging on for dear life while he climbed back down.
May need more protection than just hockey mask…
“Elevator for one, going meown.”
Same here.
and re the hovertext: “Probably? Definitely.“
My first thought was that the cat was a hallucination and that Amber had finally gone completely around the bend. Guess that says something about the kind of movies I like to watch.
A can of cat food with a pull-top lid would probably be of more use. I’ve found cats can typically get down if you give them a good reason to.
Just put down a cat playboy. He’ll find his way down (but put down a playgirl, just to be safe).
Because “Cat Inches magazine” would just be ridiculous.
Or she could use the cinderblock from two strips ago. She probably won’t even need to score a direct hit.
from amazi-girl to jason in 2.5 seconds a new world record
She’s not wearing a bowtie….
maybe she doesn’t feel like being fancy?
She pressed X.
Smart choice, AG. Smart choice.
Kitty kitty kitty kitty kittykittykitty.
A WILD MEW! THOSE ARE SUPER RARE!!!
It’s faking her out. It’s actually a Missingno and it’s going to glitch out all the work she’s put in tonight.
Cause we know that cat was gonna scratch someone’s eyes out tonight.
Oh , I thought she was going to scare the cat out of the tree or cut down the tree.
A laser pointer is also of use in coaxing a cat. Most cats, anyway.
CATFIGHT. #SorryNotSorry
Really Amazi-girl? Love you are everything I ever wanted.
Wait, is she going to murder that cat??
No, she’s going to go murder the black comic relief and the sexually active blonde. In absence of a chainsaw, she will wield the cat.
Nice knowing you, Walky and Dorothy.
CATSAW MASSACRE
This time…it’s personal. And weird.
They saw it coming.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/intent/
Huh…Joyce must of picked up the whole “Eyebrows off the face” thing from Becky before she ended up in IU
Where the hell does she keep that?
Her utility belt, duh.
I’m more worried about exactly what she planned for when she packed it.
For scaring the bejeezuz out of cheerleaders at a lake obviously.
That makes a disturbing amount of sense for a college vigilante.
Then what’s with the beat panel?
It’s not just a beat panel; she went somewhere during it and returned with a hockey mask. But did she run back to
her dorm roomthe Amazi-Lair to grab it out ofher closetthe Amazi-Armory? Did she find an all-night sporting goods store and purchase it? Did she drop in on the local underground midnight hockey league and go all, “Excuse me, citizens. Don’t panic. I must commandeer your hockey mask. Thank you for your assistance”? Does she keep it somewhere on her person where she can’t get it out on-camera? Does she have Amazi-caches scattered about campus?Dorothy should ask her these things.
That quickly? I guess the panels could mean any amount of time.
Clearly she beat up Jason and took his mask
I just pictured her beating up DoA’s Jason and taking a hockey mask that he for some reason had on his person.
I can’t stop laughing.
Jason is ripe for robbing
She commandeered it. That’s the most hilarious explanation. Especially if she did it while speedskating past the poor hockey players.
I assume she broke into Ruth’s … um, no, maybe that wouldn’t work just now.
*plays the jason theme.*
I thought his theme was just a bunch of whispers and Gasp’s
kukukuku
chchchch
ahahahah
DUHDUH
DUHDUH
DUHDUH
DUHDUH
jasonjasonjason
killkillkill
I was actually thinking about Micheal’s theme when I typed it, but the mask made me say Jason.
Bowtie bowtie bowtie bowtie.
Cue the next song on the soundtrack! — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYI1-Dy0wmI
(It’s all first-wave punk tunes for Amazigirl scenes, though usually it’s The Slits or X-Ray Spex rather than the Ramones.)
aint the first catfight in this comic
Aww, you don’t know kitty’ll go all clawball on you! She’s mewing, that means she at least somewhat socialized!
…Yeah, I’d go for mask and welding gloves…
The natural state of a cat is clawball. It’s the odd ones that are docile.
I’ve always associated that mask with Bloody Mary, but then I started hoping that Mary would try to get that cat down.
… Was that too harsh?
… yeah, no.
That would require Mary to even attempt to rescue the cat.
For some reason I thought of Pokemon before I realized what the hell was going on.
didnt we all
Nope.
My cat once decided to climb up the chain link fence surrounding a tennis court. I had to climb up after her because she couldn’t get down… I’m so lucky she didn’t claw my face off.
Yeah, I think Amazi-Girl could use more protection. Like, say, an entire suit of armor.
Good luck climbing a tree in that.
(Assuming you mean full plate, based on “suit.” Chainmail’s heavy too, but still well within ‘humanly possible.’)
Knew a guy who could do cartwheels in his full plate.
It’s all about how you hang it. Chain’s actually worse because all the weight is on your shoulders (although a belt helps slightly).
Rather climb a tree in full plate than chain mail. Plus the plate would be better for keeping out cat claws (might go straight through the chain if the gaps are big enough) and if you fell, it’d give you more protection.
The guy who did cartwheels actually got hit by a small Honda doing pretty close to town speeds. His knees took out the grill, the rest of him took out the hood and the windshield. The suit was all scratched up; he was fine; the car most definitely was not.
Full plate ftw!!
Guy I went to high-school with did something similar … only head-on from a bike, without the plate mail … of course he was built like fireplug …
That is the most awesome thing
I’ve heard.A guy I know in the SCA used to go to the fighter practice in Boston, and since he didn’t have a car, this meant he would ride the T in his armor, because wearing it is by far the easiest way to carry it. Well, one day, one of the local dukes was practicing up to fight in Crown, so practice was basically “everybody fights the duke until they’ve had enough”. The duke was a lefty, and kept hitting my friend with the same shot – a wrap into the back of the right thigh – and over the course of the practice brutalized that leg.
Well, after practice, he was limping back from the T stop to his apartment, and a passing truck tagged him, bumper clipped him right in the back of the thigh. The driver came to a screeching halt, jumped out, and was all, “Oh my god, I hit you, are you okay?!”
My friend said, “No, no, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I’m wearing armor,” but the driver insisted on taking him to the clinic to be checked out. My friend didn’t have anything better to do, so he let the guy drive him over to the clinic.
Doctor came in, he dropped his pants, and the doctor checked out the huge, obvious bruise on his thigh. “Wow, that’s a nasty one,” the doctor said. “You say you were hit by a truck?”
“No, doc,” he said, “that was the other leg.”
My mail (about 40 pounds, not including the helm) is actually heavier than my plate was (about 35 pounds, also not including helm). It is flexier and easier to move in, though. I can do somersaults and cartwheels in either. There’s been more than once I’ve gotten bowled over by a charge, turned it into a backwards somersault, rolled back onto my feet, and ganked the guy who knocked me down. My shield is a bigger hindrance to this sort of thing than the armor.
I can’t say as I’ve ever climbed a tree in armor, but I did once climb the outside of our DM’s condo to his second-floor balcony in my plate. He’d been telling me that it was impossible for my D&D character to do something similar (this was back in the 2E days before Climb skills and ACP that would’ve provided actual rules for such things), so I said, “Okay, I’ve got my armor in the back of my car. I’ll show you.”
What was his reaction when you got up there?
One of the little ways that my time in the SCA enriched my life is that I know what someone walking around in armor sounds like – the clatter of the legplates and the rhythmic ‘shing, shing, shing’ of the mail.
You might be surprised at what you can do in full plate.
Probably next to where she keeps her shoes when she’s in AG mode.
Yay, kitty!
No! Don’t murder kitty with a machete after fifty terrible sequels!
Nah, Amber’s pretty sensible. She’ll stop after thirty terrible sequels, one good reboot, and then two more bad sequels.
Amber is now wearing a mask over her mask
Amber’s identity crisis grows more worrisome by the day
Didn’t twoface do something like that once?
Maybe you meant [the wrestler] Sting.
…what.
He was wearing a mask.
Of his own face.
With facepaint underneath.
What.
It’s called “layering”–weather’s getting colder, after all
it’s a trap
It’s a tabby/
You’re kitten, right?
I’m worried that this could be it, the event many of us have been dreading …
… the one that leads to the catastrophe that induces cataplexy in readers and leaves Amber cataleptic if not catatonic …
or purrhaps she’ll just catapult into the tree and catch the cat …
The last one would be purrfect, she’ll use her cat like reflexes to not get bitten
… but the caterwauling will be hair-raising fur sure …
Whatever the answer, we’ll need to catalogue it.
Cat’s right! We’d be out of our tree to puss out and not find a way to scratch out a scientifi claw from this.
It took me a second to get this joke, but yeah, that’s by far the smartest way I’ve ever seem someone rescue a cat. I should be taking notes.
Nonono, first you put out a can of cat food. Frequently the cat suddenly figures out how to get down to get at noms.
Sometimes shaking a bag of cat treats has the same affect. And Amazigirl says she’s prepared for anything…
Oh man, I think it’s that jerk stray cat from Shortpacked!
It is like Mike, but a cat.
http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1083
http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1270
pronounced mike-at
or perhaps my-cat
it’s a whole realm of combinations. catike, mciakte, cmaitke, or my personal favorite, mat.
nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan
Cat VS Squirrel
The Cats out of his element.
… but not out of its tree …
Anyway it’s good to branch out into mew areas …
Though, in trying mew things and leaving the old behind, you necessarily abandon the purrsuit of purrfection.
Manx for your input, but unfurtuneately I’m not sure purrfection can be reached — even if one gets within a whisker, there will be dangling details …
I’m going to assume Amazi-girl ritualistically sacrifices small animals while wearing a hokey mask because that’s more fun than thinking she just saves them.
huh?
What has she got in her pocketses?
Oddly enough, my initial reaction didn’t go to face protection or Voorhees. It went to avoiding recognition by the cat, so that the cat can’t recognize your face and meow whenever it sees it, even it she’s out of her disguise. That’s the way it works with crows. (In fact, if you ever want to piss off someone who lives near crows, harass them while wearing a mask that makes you look like him. The crows will harass him for eternity, long after the original harassed crows have died off.)
Though a cat may yet recognize her scent.
That’s a descent thought!
Smart move, very smart move
Clearly, not Amazi-Girls’ first kitty rescue.
FUCK YOU MISTER BITEY
My first thought was that she was allergic to the cat and wanted to minimize the amount of cat fur that would fly into her face while removing it from the tree.
But protection from claws is also smart.
This is a job for… AMAZI-VOORHEES!
Gotta protect the face
The combination of the Freddy mask and the mouseover text gave me a good belly laugh.
Happy holidays!
Found the cat! Whoops, wrong comic.
Don’t try to handle this one alone, Amazi-Girl!
Call for backup!!
She doesn’t need backup.
“I’ve got my safety gear on, and I ain’t scared!” title=”Mean Kitty Song”
Hello, Mr. Cat, I want to play a game.
Is that the DoA Singaularkitty?
Either she will save the cat or go on a killing spree.
Is anyone else bothered that this cat has not yet committed a crime?
Um, I like everyone’s witty banter here, but am I really the only one that’s going to ask? How did she beat that dude up yesterday? In fact, Dave Willis, could we please have some flashback on Amber’s karate training? I love that she’s a superhero and tough. Agile and strong. But those characteristics alone aren’t going to overcome a big dude’s natural advantages of strength and size.
It’s seriously affecting my ‘suspension of disbelief’.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/gorilla/
I think this works as an explanation?
On top of that, Creepy Dude from yesterday probably hasn’t any training in martial arts. Wheras Blaine decided that giving Amber self-defense training was better than sending her to a shrink like everyone else wanted. I think, from what the strip shows us again and again, we know which option won out.
All else being equal, size and strength will win in a fight.
All else is not equal here. Amazi-Girl is a friggin’ superhero, and her opponent was some random dudebro. From what we’ve seen in the strip, A-G is amazingly physically capable – strong, athletic, and knows how to use it. Just in the last strip, we saw her leap high enough to knee a dude taller than her in the face. (Go ahead, try that. It’s not easy.) And she beats the shit out of people a lot. Even if she had never had any formal training (and it’s been implied (if not outright stated; I don’t remember) that she has), she’s had enough practice to learn a thing or two.
I’ve observed before… Amber’s kind of a chunky girl. But from what we’ve seen Amazi-Girl do, I’m pretty sure that the Amazi-Rack is the only part of that that’s soft weight. She’s probably actually heavier than she looks, because muscle is denser than fat. And blow power comes from the hips, and she’s got those to spare.
Dudebro, on the other hand… well, we don’t know all that much about him. He’s bigger than she is. He’s not super-fat, but he looks pretty soft. His only six-pack is the ones he’s been lifting to pack on that weight. And from his attack method, he knows jack about fighting.
I find it totally plausible that Amazi-Girl hit him until he stopped trying to get back up, and he never laid a hand on her.
Much like her alter-ego did to her own father not all that long ago.
All that works to a point. In a world without radioactive spider bites, babies rescued from doomed planets, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords, etc., Amazi-Girl can be beaten by a stronger opponent who also knows how to fight. Or someone who is armed. Or by more than one person. Or by being unlucky (or sleep deprived). She won’t win every fight, forever. She only has to lose once.
Amazi-chick doesn’t know what she’s in for. This cat has obviously been cornered by the Squirrel Mafia.
Sure enough! They obviously have an underground genetics lab in Indiana; here’s the proof.
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/vacation/indiana/index.html
How the hell did you find this website?? It is Hilarious!
I can’t say. The skwerls, they’re everywhere. It’s nuts, I tell ya – just nuts!
Acorny response if I ever heard one …
Almond say that if you pecan make a pun, walnut?
Cashew quit with the nutty puns?!
I can nut. Mugongo crazy if I try.
Someone might beech about this thread, but I pine for this sort of nuttiness.
I larch from one to another.
Wow this thread turned out to be a real treet!
Amazi-girl seems to be busy tonight. Maybe she will even be busier later *Bob’s Burgers sensual music plays in the background*
Another beating? That’ll teach you kitty!
Jason Vorhees just called, he wants his spare mask back.
And in all fairness to Amber, I have to admit, I spent a good part of my college career looking for pussy, too.
Got to protect the face
Ahh, Amazi-Girl got a facemask upgrade…guess things got real when it comes to furry opponents…