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Some jeans have real pockets. I have a new pair of capris that I love … and they have a zip attached to a FAKE POCKET. Not even one of those things you cut open and can use. No no, there’s nothing, not even room for lipstick.
Worse, I’ve noticed a disturbing new trend in women’s slacks.
They put a couple stitches across the pocket, so when you go into the changing room to try them on, they lay flat and look good…but this means if you buy them, you a) don’t know what they’re really going to look like and b) don’t know what type of pocket you’ll get.
Ok, so the type of pocket can usually be figured out by looking inside the pants…but still.
This actually isn’t a new trend. They’ve done this with higher-end slacks and also suits (both women’s and men’s) for ages. It’s so that they keep their shape better during the transportation and so they don’t get roughed up since fabric can lose its shape and stiffness over time, especially if a bunch of people try them on (and since they’re still in the store, they don’t get washed or pressed between customers, so the shape can warp).
The newest pairs of jeans I got don’t have any pockets in the front at all. They look, from the outside, like they do, but they’re sewn together right along the stitching that would outline the opening of the pocket. I recall briefly noticing this when I tried them on, but didn’t think much of it since I’ve had a few pairs that I had to use a sea ripper after I bought them to open the pocket. I didn’t even think to look inside the jeans.
The first time I wore them I went to put a small toy my son kept dropping while we were shopping in my pocket and was quite frustrated when I realized there wasn’t one. Ever time I wear them I end up getting mad all over again when I go to put my lipgloss in my pocket or stow a tissue or something.
Yes, it is one of my wife’s biggest peeves. womens suits are worse, as a lot of them HAVE pockets, but have seams sown to shrink the pockets that you have to take out to make them usable.
It’s possible you’re not aware of how pockets are ACTUALLY supposed to be, if you’ve always worn girl pants. The first time I bought and wore a pair of boys’ cargos I was like, “Q_Q I didn’t know pockets could be this useful.”
Seriously though. I’ve never had this problem with my jeans, but finding a pair of slacks or any other form of non-jean pants with real pockets? Practically impossible. What the heck?
I have found one brand that reliably has real pockets, and fits me well. Strangely enough, almost every pair of pants I buy is now that brand. You’d think the manufacturers might pick up on this! (Alfred Dunner, in case anyone is wondering what counter-culture company is putting pants in women’s slacks….)
Evil, I would agree, if I lived other than northern MN, where we’ve just had a winter during which TWO THIRDS of our nights were below zero and only four days from Thanksgiving to Equinox when temps went above freezing…
Guys’ clothes are starting to have the vanity sizing and such as well, but not nearly as bad. I’ve given up on trying to guess my wife’s size and just tell her I’m planning on buying her a shirt/whatever and ask what size she is.
Won’t help. You need to ask what size and manufacturer/designer. And you can’t even trust that to stay the same from one line to the next. Walmart sizing is closest to actual sizes, I think to reduce the number of returned items.
THIS. Size X fits me in brand Y? But only in cuts Z and Q. In cut R it will attempt to perform gastric (and skin) bypass surgery on me, and in cut T it will sag embarrassingly low, in a look more fit for teenage hangouts several years ago than, well, anywhere I go.
UGH this. My husband is easy to buy pants for: 28 leg 32 waist. Wait–the waist is too big? Fine; here’s a 28 leg and a 30 waist. try that one. Me? “Okay, I like the look of these so let’s try a 10 and a 12 and a 14–oh look this size fits my waist but the legs are too short. WELL GUESS I’D BETTER FIND A WHOLE NEW STYLE OF PANTS THEN BECAUSE ALL LEGS ARE THE SAME LENGTH.”
Stupid women’s clothing sizes. I wonder how much money they’re losing out on by doing it this way instead of the guy way? Because I only buy pants when my old pairs are falling apart and too ripped to wear. I’d buy them more often but it’s such a horrible, depressing process I just don’t bother.
Apparently, if you’re female, when your waist/hip size fluctuates, so does your leg length. Who knew?
I was only talking about this with my husband the other day. He wanted man achievement points for buying me clothes for Christmas that fit and didn’t need taking back to the store for a different size, and I agreed he deserved them.
He said it was unfair – I know his waist, inside leg, chest and collar size, and can buy clothes for him and instantly know they will fit. He has to go to the store with a ream of instructions and about 300 different measurements: inside leg, waist, hip, bust, underbust, dress size, grouped dress size, bra size, you name it. Then, there is store to store variation. I have to tell him different dress sizes for different stores, and different sizes in the same store depending on the cut of the garment. It would be enough to make most sane men run for the hills, so the fact that he gives it a go, nevermind succeeded on this occasion, doesn’t just deserve achievement points and a merit stamp on his man card, it deserves a freaking medal.
After he’d basked in the afterglow of ‘I done good, didn’t I’, for a bit, he reflected that stuff like this is a total nightmare for ladies and he’s amazed we don’t go loco and have a ‘Falling Down’ style meltdown in the fitting rooms every fortnight or so. Maybe we should – that might encourage stores to sort their shizz out.
I was frustated with a coat I had thinking it only had fake pockets… turned out the fake pockets had real pockets inside! or acording to my mom “they jjust sew the pocket so it doesn’t lose the shape before the customers buy it O.o
So true. I got something some levis jeans that I thought just had a generous cut. It turned out they had 2 extra I the waist. Later I took up bicycling; now those pants don’t fit at all!
Also, if a guy needs to wear a suit, there’s a reasonable chance it’ll come with fake pockets too. For some reason, when wearing a suit, you’re expected not to need to carry anything on your person….
Yeah, my suits “pockets” were totally fake; they were flaps on the suit jacket that buttoned down but there wasn’t actually any pocket under the flap like there should be.
Admittedly, as you say, you get what you pay for with a suit, and for a suit £120 isn’t much…xD
“it depends, for pants i usually go small but if its too small my navel will pop out so, if they are super tight jeans try to find me a pair that are slightly larger than small, look, this is my normal sized pants and my slim fit pants, and here are my sweat pants, take measurements.”
“you know what??? come with me, we can choose your gift together”
I’ve seen a kitchen sink where that fake drawer actually swung open by flipping down about 45 degrees, to reveal a small, vented, kind of V-shaped place for holding your sponges and scrubbies. Just fit nicely in the space between the drawer front and the sink.
Hermione got so frustrated that she turned the vanity drawer in per parent’s kitchen into a real drawer using a bag of holding spell. Her parents use the drawer all the time but never put two and two together.
I had to wear a tux the other day, and not only were the outside pockets fake, the nifty hidden inside ones were fake too! Trolling at its perfection-Polo
I don’t buy pants unless the pockets are deep enough for me to keep a shit ton of pencils in them. Cuz 1. I like to draw. and 2. I really hope someone tries to rob me and gets stabbed by like 12 pencils.
I wish I couldb e choosy with my pocket depth because shallow pockets are annoying as feck…but it’s a pain in the butt to find pants that will fit me to begin with…everything is either the right waiste size but too short or long enough but too narrow! According to pants maker you can only be short and fat or tall and skinny. Sometimes really tall and really fat but never tall and bulky!
Try an old fashioned label like Levis or Lee. They still use inseam/length measurements, and they have different styles for different body types. I can’t stand designer labels because they have hopelessly limited sizes.
Look for pants that fit in the waist/hips, and hem the legs! It doesn’t take long, even by hand, and so many more pants will fit you.
If you really hate sewing, any tailor will hem them for $5-10.
Ohh, yeah, that makes sense. It’s harder to add fabric than to subtract it.
Is there a place in the world where you’re closer to average? A very lanky friend of mine gets all her pants online from Sweden, for example. If not, I guess it’s just time to bring capris back into style.
According to pants maker you can only be short and fat or tall and skinny.
Well, their assumption is perfectly logical. Humans are like 90% water. Water is nearly incompressible. Thus, a human’s volume has to be roughly preserved as you make him/her longer or shorter and he/she has to become slimmer or wider accordingly.
I some how always make holes in my pockets, a result of this is that back in highschool a 20$ bill I once had fell out of my pants and my Gym teacher and almost took it. I got it back .
You don’t want to know or even need to know the potential horrors that would result from women with access to real pockets, how did you think that the patriarchy could have survived for so long? Greater physical strength? Its POCKETS I tell you, I just hope they never discover the value of carrying a towel everywhere, now that would be disastrous.
I’m aware of that, thank goodness for the Faraday shielding hats which protect me from their insidious mind control devices, I’m not some fool who believes in tinfoil hats which makes it even easier for MC beams to alter your brain.
First girls get pockets…then MEN HAVE TO MAKE THE SANDWICHES? YOU’RE MESSING WITH THE NATURAL ORDER. (I make one hell of a sandwich though ladies. *clicks tongue*)
yeah, my husband and I share a shocking number of sweaters and button-downs. and we both look awesome! I look like Professional Lesbian #1, and he looks like a dorkus in preppy clothes & skate shoes!
oh dumbing of age board, you’re actually not a close friend of mine
I’d love to chuck out our stupid sizing and fake pockets and always wear boy pants, but those are sadly uncomfortable for most ladies! Them hips gotta go somewhere, so boypants that fit in the hips are like 4″ too wide in the waist. I could keep birds down there. Insufficiently comfy.
The trick is to never follow the leading fashions cos they go out of style within a couple of years, on the other hand you wear less cool clothing, you won’t look out of date for decades.
Its never about brands or fashons, its about color choices for me!
Honestly I don’t have a single pair of jeans thats less than like 6 years old, but I have like two pairs of grey jeans, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of tan jeans so I immediately stand out without peacocking.
All depends on where you wear it (and how low). It ain’t a sporran if you’re not in a kilt and the pouch ain’t covering your crotch. Note: these two tings *must* go together. Center pouch over pants just makes it a crappy codpiece. And a kilt without a center weight better be some *damn* heavy fabric, cuz no one wants to see that. No, really! (I live in Chicago. I know tragically whereof I speak).
I always kinda figured I WAS a protagonist in an RPG. Some orc in a parallel universe is making Knowledge (Programming) skill checks while looking at an office drawn on graph paper, and failing Will Saves to resist fucking around on the internet instead of work.
I don’t mind, but did he have to make Charisma my dump stat?
That why you gotta get on that real life level grind son!
First off equip yourself! If you’re trying to make friends where shirt with something on that could potentially strike up a convo (show you’re a fan of something TV/Movies/Books/Cooking/Art/Alchohol/Philosphy/Religion whatever) or an item thats noticeable and has an interesting story behind it, like jewelery, charms, or old timey clothing your family gave you, or a cloak and kilt cause fuck normalcy.
Next go socialize! Talk to some mangs and womangs!
So you’re a Whovian, go to a con, geek out about whatever someone is cosplaying as (the more obscure the character and the less professional they look the better), ask em if they like Doctor Who.
Less geeky? Take a day to hit up a pub, a classy bar, or a jazz loung with a buddy and talk to the owner/tender on a slow day if you have time and money!
Try taking walks or picking up ball game with a couple friends at a local park or beach at regular intervals, maybe you’ll bump into someone who might want the court, or notice someone might always walk or exercise the same time.
Big one, some folks might get weirded out (especially we city folks) but when passing someone by; smile, nod, and say “How’s it going?” Its less weird and ambiguous than “Hello” by inviting a response. And if they respond with a “How about yourself?” respond and end with a positive comment on the weather or just by saying thanks!
Hurray for backpacks! They’re the perfect purse substitute for everyone! Though you need to keep some kind of payment option in your pocket… wasting everybody’s time while you fish for it is annoying!
I appreciate the onset of the messenger bag for the same reason. TOTALLY GENDER NEUTRAL, but a little more stylish than the backpack (though I do love a good hiking pack).
I live in blue jeans and golf shirts (yes, at work as well). My yearly clothing budget is less than $200. My daughter can easily spend that in an afternoon and still complain she has nothing to wear, while ignoring the stuffed to the gills closet and clothing stored on every available horizontal surface.
How did this post get here? It was supposed to be part of a thread higher up. Well, to stay on topic, messenger bags aren’t fooling anyone, they are still purses.
Just not dresses that are considered fashionable. Because if they give you the pockets, they can’t sell you the purse.
(Don’t tell them, but I’m still carrying the same purse I had in high school…and even then, only when I’m going out for a while, because it is the perfect size for holding my thermos.
Hell, this is why I carry with me a purse and a laptop bag everywhere most of the time, along with a third little pouch just for the keys to get me into my dorm.
I don’t use purses because at school, I usually walk around with a backpack for my books, so a purse would be awkward. But I can’t put my phone and keys and stuff in my backpack because I could lose them. :/ It’s a dilemma.
I personally depend less on pockets and more on my shoulder-bag these days to carry my stuff, a towel is just too bulky to carry around in any size clothing pocket anyhow.
I have a mid-sized purse (styled more like a small messenger bag) that I use when I have more to carry around, and I use a backpack at school for my books and such, but when all I need with me is my phone, wallet, and keys, I use a small purse that’s maybe 5 x 3 x 1.5 (completely estimated just now; those are not exact measurements.) Way better than a bulky bag when I don’t have much to carry with me, but it holds way more than my pockets. Even a tiny purse is way more useful than tiny pockets.
Handbags: Because you spent $50 go get a smooth line for your hip…and then decided to attach a designer tumor to it so no one can tell.
OH! Another true fact: Girls, did you know that when men buy hoodies, they are made of real material and actually keep the wind out? Seriously! I got one that’s even faux fur lined and warm in winter.
I’d want to see some statistics, to be frank. Fashion is certainly considered a women’s industry, but that’s not the same as being run by women. Men who take up careers that are traditionally ‘women’s work’ often do better than their female colleagues. Like, women are cooks, but men get to be chefs, etc. (I don’t mean that that’s literally what always happens)
Really? I always thought women’s fashions were designed by men who hated women. Only way I could rationalize some of the truly ridiculous and bizarre fashions I see.
Ive had some coats with fake pockets. Cant see how females can stand having them on everything. Why cant fashion designers just trust us not to stuff a billion things in our pockets when we want to look good?
This female can’t see how other females stand it either. I’ve tried purses. They’re uncomfortable and they get lost. Which leads to the important things in them getting lost too!
Yes. This. I think I carried a purse 2 days in my entire life. When I was *4*, because it was the best way to carry my crayons (so does that actually make it an artists bag?) If I can’t carry what I need in my pockets – and I’ll include a jacket for this – then I don’t need to be carrying it. Things that are nice to have or wouldn’t fit in anyone’s pocket go in the backpack. Purses are just overpriced messenger bags with lousy carrying options.
I was told because it was to make it easier for a maid to dress her mistress. (This assumes a right-handed maid, and that the woman being dress can afford said maid.)
Men also had people to dress them in the old days. The reason men and women have buttons on different sides is so men could draw their swords and women could feed their babies (or their mistress’s babies).
It’s true. It’s so that if a girl and a guy are sitting in the front of a car and the boy is driving, they each can look through the gaps between the buttons on the other’s shirts and enjoy the view. This is the real reason for serious.
It blew my mind a little when a lady acquaintance explained this to me. Why is this a thing? Why aren’t women allowed to carry a lot of stuff in their pockets like men are? Surely SOME brands boast practicality over… whatever misguided sense of fashion causes this ridiculousness!
You know, I can see that from a practical standpoint. If they wanna make their virus protection strong, they gotta code it against the worst viruses they can come up with.
I’m gonna guess the default assumption is they are using a purse. Which to be fair is totally a big ol bag full of stuff a guy cannot carry around without social stigmas. Then again we have briefcases.
No idea. Not exactly one to rummage through people things. Mostly I just miss my old school days when I could pack away my life on my back and not have to worry if I’ve forgotten anything important
I hate purses. If anything I’d wear, like a smaller messenger bag over the shoulder or something if I want to carry stuff with me. But I still feel cheated out of pockets.
If you’re dumb about it (which I can’t say I’ve strayed from) and put everything in one pocket, it can take a good awkward minute or two of awkwardly rummaging your hand around. Worth it though.
I put my wallet on one side, phone on the other, and keys inside the smaller inner pocket.
Yes, some dude jeans have smaller pockets inside the large normal pocket. And I’m not even talking about the ridiculous 90’s cargo jeans with the infinipocket dimensions that stored entire notebooks. Just…regular jeans. With small pockets inside big pockets.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the tiny pocket inside the bigger pocket on dude jeans was the same size or bigger than lady jeans pockets.
I was told it’s a change pocket, so you have a place to put your quarters where you don’t have to dig for them. (I’ve definitely had sub-pockets that would never hold a watch.)
I actually used it for cell phone pockets back when I had a crappy old cell phone. I actually thought that was the intended purpose. My new smartphone won’t fit in a pocket that size.
Wait, the smaller pocket needs to be made bigger for cell phones? Most of my lady-pants’ pockets can’t hold a cell phone at all… Some of them even have smaller pockets on the inside, too, but those are absolutely worthless because for the most part they’re literally too small to hold ANYTHING AT ALL.
My cell phone lives in its belt case, as it should. The whole phone in pocket thing never made sense to me. Of course I saw from the get go the issue with wallets in the back pocket, and have always carried mine in the front pocket.
And that’s assuming your pants even HAVE pockets, rather than just fake things that look like pockets but are made of lies and do not actually open. (Sometimes there even ARE pockets that are sewn shut because HAHAHA FUCK YOU FASHION INDUSTRY.)
Just let them have pockets, girls love clothing so why not just let them have that…then again would girls even use pockets? Dont most women already have 5 different kinds purses at a time, then complain when they loose stuff in it?
only the ones who give in!!
I don’t own any stupid purses. I have a satchel that I take shopping and a backpack I bring to work. I also won’t buy a coat or jacket if it has shallow pocket. And to top it off, my pants (with the exception of my pants for work) all come from the boy’s section. I don’t want to look like a “working girl”, thank you very much!
This only works if you’re a certain shape of lady, though! For folks with hip-curves, boypants soon get very uncomfortable and awkward, especially if you also have a small waist. I want pants that are basically shaped like me AND have pockets — is that so much to ask?!
This is such a strange comment (imo). Like, why is this an example to be followed? I mean, it clearly works for Otera. Which is awesome! I’m glad Otera has that.
But personally, I like purses, and I like buying my pants form the women’s section. They fit my hips better and I just think I look better in them (bigger pockets would still be nice, of course). That’s not giving in?? And it’s not some kind of flaw or something. Which is the vibe I’m getting from this comment. Am I missing the joke?
Same here. I carry a messenger bag, but only because my sketchbook goes everywhere I go. I also use it in lieu of a backpack for classes. I haven’t shopped in the woman’s section for pants since the beginning of high school. There’s nothing practical or even comfortable most of the time about lady’s clothes. :\ The worst thing about women’s tiny pockets is trying to fit car keys in them and getting stabbed in the leg.
What reason is there to carry a purse when you can fit everything you need in pockets? Literally the only reason I carry a purse regularly is to carry my wallet, which can’t fit in the pockets of any of my pants.
“lol girls love clothing” “lol girls with their stupid purses” “lol girls are whiny” Are you, like, 13 years old? Have you tried actually talking to girls instead of basing your impressions on sit-coms?
I like purses because I can carry significantly more than I could in just a pocket. I get big purses and fill them up to the brim so I never have to leave anything behind which is useful when you’re someone like me: messy, and unprepared.
(And yeah, I am lost in this thread. What does this guy have against women/clothing/purses???)
I once had a girlfriend filch a $20 from me and stash it in her bra on the theory that I wouldn’t go after it there.
I’m not sure what gave her that idea. It’s not like my hands hadn’t been inside her shirt before or anything. Her expression when I reached in and plucked it out was priceless, though.
I have had female friends try that on me as well. They were very surprised when it didn’t stop me from retrieving my property. I did refrain, however, when they stuffed said items down their pants.
Now these are the real issues. Thank you for bringing this heinous injustice to light and giving it the attention it so rightly deserves.
A related issue to consider: Initiative for more (or any, really) pockets in skirts and dresses!
Just. Pockets. Pockets are so important. Jackets often have these dumb ‘girl pockets’, too. WHAT can even fit in there? Nothing. I’ve definitely had the tiniest things fall out of ‘girl pockets’, like bus tickets and stuff. If your pocket is not actually capable of HOLDING anything, then it’s not a pocket.
Sorry. I just have a lot of feelings about pockets and this strip speaks to my very soul lol.
You hold them. With the keys between your fingers as a makeshift weapon, if it’s dark or you’re alone (at least, that’s what I was taught. Girl problems go a bit deeper than our nonexistent pockets, I’m afraid).
Girl I knew in high school skipped the “using keys as a makeshift weapon” part and just had a keychain that was made from a 6″ section of 3/4″ PVC pipe filled with concrete.
As someone who is transitioning from male to female, pockets are an issue of concern for me. (I have tasted the fruit of real pockets, and I cannot go back!) Luckily, this issue is pretty much solved for me by how butch I am. I’m sticking with my men’s jeans, and the only way I am wearing a skirt is if someone makes a cargo skirt. (A cargo skirt does sound kind of awesome, can this be a thing?)
I Just had a rant about this yesterday! People criticize me for always wearing a jacket, even when its 70 degrees, but if I didn’t I couldn’t carry anything!
Those are great. I’ve had jeans from Duluth Trading, although lately I’ve been buying Carharrt – they seem to give the best life.
Among the crap I haul around: Wallet, keys, folding knife, money clip, cigar trimmer, lighter, bandanna, pocket watch and (where my permit is good) a sidearm.
Actually, neither one usually. I still have some remnants of hips, and the fit is, uh, “snug” enough that I don’t need them.
But that’s what happens when you wear your pants where they’re supposed to go, not six inches too low.
My work pants had the pockets sewn shut. so infuriating!! apparently once you get past the age of 12 you’re not supposed to want to have pockets anymore. I don’t wanna carry around some stupid purse!! give me some proper pockets!!!
I do have to say though…. I recently discovered that there might be a practical reason to shallow pockets. I just got engaged and with how stupidly tight my work pants are (just to not fall off. it’s beyond stupid. GIVE ME CARGO PANTS!!!) I can’t get the ring into my pocket without being worried about damaging them or ruining the ring (never been big on jewelry, so this is all very new to me. I expect the setting to brake at the drop of a hat, even though I’m sure it won’t)….. So when I’m at work with the ring on, I wind up being grateful of the stupidly shallow pockets.
Otera, is there an actual pocket underneath the sewn shut opening? If there is, you’re supposed to cut the threads that keep the pocket sewn shut after you get them home. They just use a light basting stitch when they make the pants so that the pocket fabric doesn’t get warped or messed up in the store because a whole bunch of people may try on the pants, but they are not properly washed or pressed between people trying them on.
However, sometimes there is a sewn shut pocket opening and there’s actually no pocket underneath, which is stupid and annoying. (you can tell which is which by looking at the insides of the pants.
remember the 90’s when you could fit books pencils pens that old brick of a gameboy a can of spraypaint and random tools in your pockets and still have room for your hands and lots of shiny rocks that you happened to pick up
It’s worth mentioning that as a skinny kid, I also needed very tight belts to restrain the tens of pounds of crap in my overstuffed pants pockets.
Original gameboys (not the pocket, the ORIGINAL) were roughly the shape, size and weight of an actual brick. 4 AA batteries that it ate through for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
To this day most of the TV remotes in my parent’s house have mostly-dead batteries I swapped out of my gameboy, when there were no new ones to be found.
this is a wild exaggeration the original gameboy measures 3.5″ x 6″ x 1″ and i couldn’t venture a guess at its exact weight but it is most certainly less than a pound and thus much lighter than a brick
yes i actually got out my gameboy and a tape measure
Wow, somehow I had memory-holed that fake pockets are a real thing. As a dude who wore a lot of hand-me downs and discount jeans, I’ve only encountered them once or twice, and thought they were some kind of weird fashion anomaly. The idea that such idiotic designs are common is giving me a headache.
I checked my privilege. It was in my reasonably sized pockets next to my phone, wallet, and keys.
Am I the only who noticed how much of the series has been about clothes? In “It’s Walky” and “Shortpacked” the casts were issued uniforms. In DoA everyone’s free to wear what they want, and I’m guessing that Willis gets many of his story ideas from the research required to know what the young people are wearing nowadays.
Just off the top of my head:
The pajama-jeans.
The bone t-shirts.
The first-date dress.
The lost shoe and resulting shopping trip.
The cheerleader uniform.
The other cheerleader uniform.
The hoodies.
The cartoon fan gear.
The green school uniform.
The gloves.
The mask.
And in the future, the skates.
However, keep in mind when performing this move, not to push too hard into the pocket, or the object of your affection may end up with her pants down around her ankles. Note, this is a bad thing if you happen to be out in public.
First DoA comment, just needed to say that, as a girl, this is a VERY important issue everyone should be aware of. Pocket Equality, ya’ll. It’s coming.
More accurately the RFID tags they’ll be implanting in all of us. They’re car keys and credit cards all in one! And with the factory-standard cerebral cell-phone attachment, they will also provide unlimited advertising and also allow the corporations/government to read your mind. As a bonus!
Hey, Dorothy!
You know what girl’s outfit has pockets? Amazi-Girl’s! You know this already. She can fit in her pockets shoes and transformer toys and certain items for the girl who is prepared for anything.
Get yourself a cape, Dorothy! You’ll be glad you did.
Yeah, I found that out about 3, 4 years ago. Of all the weird, fucked up things about how we approach gender roles in this society that one’s one of the more inexplicible ones.
Curves. Women’s clothing is designed to show off their figure, make them stand out.
Women have a very large variety of types of clothing and styles to choose from to mix and match.
Men’s clothing is designed to hide their figure, make them invisible.
The available selection in men’s clothes is miniscule.
Apparenty men are more attractive the less you see of them.
Well sure. Have you seen dicks lately? They’re hilarious. They’re just kinda hanging out there with their head down like they’re apologizing for looking so damn stupid.
But that’s the thing! Men’s clothing is designed to cover them, be sort of amusing and PRACTICAL. Women’s clothing is designed to show you as much of their figure and body shape as possible with low necklines, tight fits, little to no pocket space, practically see-through and just “decorate” girls. It’s just…. so stupid!
I never understood the reasoning behind not giving girl’s pockets. Pockets are probably the best clothing related invention after, well, clothing itself. They have so much usefulness, and are way more organized than purses.
yeah sure girls get purses and fanny packs and whatnot, but what’s the point of putting pockets on pants and then deliberately making them useless? When with the same effort you could make them useful and still aesthetically nice
This is kind of simple. If the pants are meant for fashion or looks, they don’t have real pockets. Why? Because then you can’t put anything in the pocket to create an outline.
I’d wager that women’s clothing is more often designed for fashion than men’s, and it would be more common to have non-functional pockets.
But that explanation, in and of itself, is incredibly worrying.
“Men get practical, cause men do practical things, women get pretty, cause they do looking pretty”
Don’t misunderstand me- clothes for the sake of looking good have their place…
But I can understand being mildly aggregated by having easy access to only pretty/fashionable clothes.
And the tacit implication that, as a person, your function is to look pretty and do nothing else- that would make me rage.
You’ve got the cause/effect relationship backwards.
Clothing companies make men’s and women’s jeans that way because that’s what people want to buy. They make what sells, or they go out of business. Evidently more women are concerned with how the jeans fit than with pocket space.
In any case: It’s easy to find women’s jeans with comfortable fit and real pockets. Go to a Shepler’s, a Big Five, a Farm & Fleet or a sporting goods outfit like Cabela’s or Gander Mountain. Different market, different product.
At least for a segment of the population. Finding any pants at all that can deal with “Extreme curves” is almost impossible. Pants made for men are definitely not an option.
I’ve tried big 5, Cabela’s, and just about every other store that exists. All of the women’s pants found there have such a gap in the waist that if they can go around my hips, I could easily smuggle a small child across the border in the small of my back.
Mrs. Animal has almost exactly that problem, being what my Uncle Coy describes as a “short round woman just like all the other women in the family.” (Long story.) She likes Wrangler jeans for that reason – they fit.
She also can’t wear a belt because of multiple surgery scars on her back and a bad chronic pain issue that affects her lower back and hips. Wranglers still work. Not perfect, but they work.
No, the OP had the cause/effect right here. Just because a business makes it, does not mean it is a rational decision based on good information. It’s not like people stop being humans when they become executives.
No, it’s still wrong, at least for any business that has been in business for more than a year. The decision is made on the only – I say again, the only rational reason – what their customers want. Otherwise, they aren’t in business long.
The only *rational* reason, sure. But people aren’t rational. People are greedy, jerky monsters who are also smart enough to circumvent giving people what they want while maximizing profits regardless, mostly because we’ve learned how to kick the can of disaster down the road far enough that someone else later on will have to deal with it after we’re dead.
I’m familiar with that argument – I just don’t buy it. I don’t think most folks are so weak-willed that a company can, through advertising, convince them they want something they don’t. They can influence, but they can’t brainwash.
There is a tendency – I’m guilty of it myself at times – to feel that people, who have made decisions we don’t understand or don’t agree with, have been influenced somehow. Problem is it’s just not true. People like different things. I don’t understand why people like to watch sports, but the overwhelming majority of folks in this country do like that – and the sports industry generates billions in revenue. Is that wrong? Nope. Is there some nefarious purpose in it? Nope. Are people unduly influenced in some subtle way to get people to watch, people who wouldn’t otherwise? Not really. Sports, as with clothing, cars, beer and a gazillion other products and services, are advertised.
But advertisement isn’t brainwashing. Most people know what they like. They buy it. Hell, plenty of people probably don’t understand my penchant for shitkicker boots and huge cowboy hats, but that doesn’t mean some corporation nudged me into buying them.
And even if we grant that premise, that corporate or small-business (to be, you know, inclusive) advertising has an undue effect on economic behavior – the next question becomes “and therefore, what?” Is there some public policy solution that is missing from the equation? Is there some law or regulation that will change the situation without just making things worse?
Also, what can of disaster are we kicking down the road?
It’s not always about brainwashing, it’s often about limited choices. For example, people in poverty probably don’t always want to be eating stuff like fast food, but fresh fruits and vegetables are too expensive on their tiny paycheck and so terrible crap is the only way to get full. What to eat is not a valid choice they can make. They do not have purchasing power. This is not something they are too stupid or brainwashed to achieve, it is an environment created by lack of a living wage — which is something a business can orchestrate by not paying people enough and maximizing their own profits, thus perpetuating a cycle in which they hold all the power. There is no accountability in this arrangement.
In this circumstance, the can of disaster being kicked down the road is the erasure of the middle class, removing a segment of people who could otherwise pay money into the system as revenue falls solely into the hands of a select few, until eventually, perhaps decades later, everything goes kablooey. But in the meantime, businesses make money hand over fist. No immediate accountability.
I feel like this assumes the people who run companies are totally unaffected by the biases and stereotypes that have kind of been embedded into our culture. And I’d have to say that I find that very unlikely. Businesses are not run in completely sterile conditions by robots, they’re run by people. I mean, bad business decisions are made all the time, and yeah, some of them are based off sexism.
And that’s why I’m glad to be a guy. I have one pair of jeans with pockets so large that I can fit my phone, iPod touch, Vita, and 3DSXL in one pocket. Its so nice.
I can attest that the problem with women’s pockets has gotten worse over about the past five years, because I’ve gone to buy new jeans of the exact same style number as before, and the newer jeans have pockets that are about two to three inches shorter than the older pair of that style. However, at least the back pockets on jeans are functional as long as you don’t have to sit down.
I think the only solution to this problem is to have more men wear women’s slacks. I hear it gives you confidence.
Even since I discovered Kickstarter.com, I’ve said that a campaign with decent prices, good design and sizes for the curvy and flat butted could eviscerate their goal if they jeans for women with deep pockets.
I dunno. I have at least one of each with really nice deep pockets. but then again, I think I got both of them from my mother and those two items of clothing are probably older than I am. but they have good strong fabric, pockets, and they fit me.
Walky, Dorothy… I realize you two just banged for the first time (and Walky’s first time), but, seriously… you need to turn that afterglow down. It’s nauseating.
Yea, probably a little hard on the back walking bent over to the side like that. It would work if the male walked behind the female, but then they have to synchronize their pace. And likely groin contact would cause something embarrassing to arise.
It’s “hear, hear!” — from the early days of Parliament when members who were in agreement with the speak would should “Hear him! Hear him!” as a show of support. Over the years it eventually got shorted to merely “Hear, hear!!”.
And this is supported by transcripts and writings of the day going back to the 1600s.
Mrs. Animal buys Wrangler western cut women’s jeans. Plenty of pocket space. (and I swear, they don’t make her butt look big! They don’t, I tell you!) Key: Jeans made for work, not style.
Oh, and happy birthday, David, you young whippersnapper. Middle age looms in the horizon! Mwahahahaaha.
I was going to give my usual “35? I’ve got T-Shirts older than that”, but I finally misplaced my original Star Wars T-Shirt from ’77. I think my oldest remaining T-Shirts are just under 30 years old.
I’d never be able to find it again, but I recently read an article that said women don’t really have access to the comfortable clothing they’d like to wear because the stores only carry whatever’s supposedly “in fashion”. Simple stuff, like a decent long sleeve shirt with actual full length sleeves, are supposedly impossible to find. The article said a lot of women wear shirts in layers not because they like that look but because they can’t buy a single shirt that’s thick enough fabric it can be worn by itself.
It’s one of those rare situations where the free market breaks down a little because rather than finding out what the customer wants and needs and selling that, the women’s fashion industry thinks it knows better than its customers, and also thinks it has to continuously reinvent itself and toss out all existing designs just for the sake of it.
It’s not at all a women’s lib thing or a glass ceiling type of thing, this isn’t sexism they way you normally think of it, but it is an example of why it sucks sometimes for no good reason to be a woman in America today.
So maybe if people — ALL people, not just women — quit paying so damned much attention to what so-and-so is wearing at the such-and-such award show, “sensible” clothing will perhaps make a comeback.
Not a lie: I got a job once that required me to wear a white, button-down shirt with a pocket on the front. I spent AN ENTIRE SATURDAY scouring malls and stores and what-not looking for a single woman’s blouse that met those conditions.
Nothing. Until a friendly clerk mentioned I might try a “uniform store.” That’s right, I had to go where they sell COVERALLS AND ELECTRIC-RESISTANT GEAR to get a white, button down women’s blouse with a pocket on the front.
And don’t tell me I could have worn a men’s shirt. Because…not without flashing.
I… don’t think any of us are going to live to see that. Given the current timeflow ratio of about a real-world year per DoA week, Joyce’ll turn 35 sometime around the year 2900.
Walkyverse Joyce, on the other hand, turns 35 this May. For some reason, that makes me feel way older than the fact that I turn 40 in October.
I think that just the feeling of sticking my hands down a pair of cavernous pockets, and waving them around, is wonderful, even though I don’t really need the extra space.
Happy birthday! You have about five years until the arthritis in your drawing hand becomes a real pain. Start looking a wax baths now. Trust me on this. It is worse than the lack of pockets.
So the amazigirl vs Blaine arc gets 400ish comments. The stealth racism gets 400 plus comments. Annnnnnd the pocketless jeans strip gets about 400 comments.
A civil rights battle not won due to improper tactics. I volunteer to not wear pants until this issue is resolved. It will be a sacrifice to give up having almost a hundred cubic inches of pocket space, but it is one I am willing to make! I presume the sight of me sans pants will be enough to turn the heart (if not stomach) of the most stubborn of fashion designers; but if others wish to join me, the more the merrier!
Also, this might have the added benefit of inspiring said fashion blokes to make clothes that cover guys’ legs, so that maybe retail stores can stock more than 20 to 80 guys-clothes to gals-clothes. To all the folks inclined to say “girls who want pockets should just wear men’s pants” I have several things, not all jokes, to say:
1) that’s what they DID. And now there are actually such things as “girl pants,” which would have been considered transvestitism not too long ago.
2) don’t encourage a trend of girls wearing guy clothes. Guys already have so few choices in clothing that if that happens there will be a guy-pants shortage!
3) if more girls wear guy clothes I will be terribly aroused (same for guys wearing girls clothes). YOU don’t want that, i don’t want that, so let’s come up with a better solution than cross-dressing.
OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES WITH GIRL POCKETS! LET ME TELL YOU! For serious. I could write you a veritable ESSAY on how I think it’s total bull that the vast majority of men’s pajama bottoms have pockets but lady’s! That’s not even to touch upon the subjects of casual and formal way!
Huff.
But anyway, happy birthday, Willis! 35 is a great age! I wouldn’t know from personal experience because I’m only 20 BUT it’s divisible by 5, it’s got my two favorite numbers in there, and you’re not yet 40. What’s not to like about 35?
Next we will win the battle of jeans that are measured in both waist and inseam, like men’s pants. Someday I will be able to buy pants that fit me both in waist and length!
OMG you have no idea, but this is such a sore spot for me! I served in the military and actually tried to fight this battle, but was not granted guys’ formal wear and had to endure stupid, tight pants with only back pockets, while the guys had all that spaaaaace to put stuff in easy reach.:(
(Used to compensate for this when wearing non-formal. I walked around with a water bottle in my pocket, just because I could.)
Oh yeah, is that ever accurate. My ex had a pair of jeans (I did most of the laundry) where the front pockets wouldn’t take my fingers to the first knuckle. And my tween daughter, who is no slave to fashion, has a pair of shorts which has a “cute” pocket that would be stretched to hold one quarter coin.
Fashion designers need to have their heads beaten (no harm, since they’re not using them anyway) until everyone gets clothes with real pockets — deep enough to hold things without falling out when you sit, wide enough openings for the hands of the sized people, and anchored (like those in gym shorts) so they don’t flop all over the place inside the leg.
Worse yet are the jeans that fool you into thinking they have pockets, but the would be pockets are actually just seams sewn into them. O_O And so I just buy women’s cargo pants. Can’t get enough pockets. Ever. They have real pockets AND extra pockets. I love me my cargo pants.
Got this really nice pair of Seven jeans for really cheap, but only half my phone fits in the pockets they’re really cute though so I guess it balances out
it would be funny if they released it but it was just a cinema painted on the side of a cliff
DiscussingFilm@discussingfilm.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
‘COYOTE VS ACME’ has been officially saved by Ketchup Entertainment, who bought the film for $50M
They plan to give the film a worldwide theatrical release in 2026.
do y'all remember when they found all that tf art in Osamu Tezuka's drawer post-mortem because I think about it often
anyway keep chasing your bliss and draw weird shit, god knows we need that right now
Today in #9ChickweedLane I learned that I have to weigh which is worse: the cartoonist already forgetting what this guy looks like one daily strip later, or that, yes, he's actually meant to be an old man, not a victim to an older cartoonist forgetting what young people look like
Like any average American, I’m for universal basic income and abolishing the police. I can’t get on board with these ultra-leftists calling for the universal hive mind, though!
maura quint@mauraquint.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
going to start calling myself a centrist and then listing all my leftist views as proof, just going to start moving the overton window by force
I've spent the past few days reading through the entire archive of @damnyouwillis.bsky.social's Dumbing of Age and this has been stuck in my head for about 90% of that time.
Steve Williams @skillagesteve.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
DiscussingFilm @discussingfilm.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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Funny but true
Really? I have always worn women’s jeans and have never had this problem. Have I just been lucky to have found pants with proper pockets?
Some jeans have real pockets. I have a new pair of capris that I love … and they have a zip attached to a FAKE POCKET. Not even one of those things you cut open and can use. No no, there’s nothing, not even room for lipstick.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
But they’re soooo comfy.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!!!!! ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
Close enough.
Worse, I’ve noticed a disturbing new trend in women’s slacks.
They put a couple stitches across the pocket, so when you go into the changing room to try them on, they lay flat and look good…but this means if you buy them, you a) don’t know what they’re really going to look like and b) don’t know what type of pocket you’ll get.
Ok, so the type of pocket can usually be figured out by looking inside the pants…but still.
This actually isn’t a new trend. They’ve done this with higher-end slacks and also suits (both women’s and men’s) for ages. It’s so that they keep their shape better during the transportation and so they don’t get roughed up since fabric can lose its shape and stiffness over time, especially if a bunch of people try them on (and since they’re still in the store, they don’t get washed or pressed between customers, so the shape can warp).
The newest pairs of jeans I got don’t have any pockets in the front at all. They look, from the outside, like they do, but they’re sewn together right along the stitching that would outline the opening of the pocket. I recall briefly noticing this when I tried them on, but didn’t think much of it since I’ve had a few pairs that I had to use a sea ripper after I bought them to open the pocket. I didn’t even think to look inside the jeans.
The first time I wore them I went to put a small toy my son kept dropping while we were shopping in my pocket and was quite frustrated when I realized there wasn’t one. Ever time I wear them I end up getting mad all over again when I go to put my lipgloss in my pocket or stow a tissue or something.
Double table flip, I´m impressed
Who cares if they are comfy; all that matter is if they are cute…
I do believe you’ve hit upon the ideology that caused this mess in the first place.
Yes, it is one of my wife’s biggest peeves. womens suits are worse, as a lot of them HAVE pockets, but have seams sown to shrink the pockets that you have to take out to make them usable.
It’s possible you’re not aware of how pockets are ACTUALLY supposed to be, if you’ve always worn girl pants. The first time I bought and wore a pair of boys’ cargos I was like, “Q_Q I didn’t know pockets could be this useful.”
Seriously though. I’ve never had this problem with my jeans, but finding a pair of slacks or any other form of non-jean pants with real pockets? Practically impossible. What the heck?
I have found one brand that reliably has real pockets, and fits me well. Strangely enough, almost every pair of pants I buy is now that brand. You’d think the manufacturers might pick up on this! (Alfred Dunner, in case anyone is wondering what counter-culture company is putting pants in women’s slacks….)
Pockets. I swear I meant “pockets in wmoen’s slacks” not pants in them. LOL.
Girl Pants suck in a myriad of ways. Pocket depth being only scratching the surface.
2. They cover up the girl. In fact, boy pants do that too! Pants suck!
Clothing is stupid
Evil, I would agree, if I lived other than northern MN, where we’ve just had a winter during which TWO THIRDS of our nights were below zero and only four days from Thanksgiving to Equinox when temps went above freezing…
3 they hug the curves pants rock
4. I can hug people’s curves too! People just never ask!
Everyone’s gonna be wearing a Yotomoe next season. Calling it.
I go with everything!
even parsley?
I go with parsley.
That didn’t come out right.
Nothing really goes with parsley. It’s just a garnish.
That really depends on the pants
Pants are inexcusable.
I prefer my kilt anyway.
Man skirts are always and forever the best option for comfort.
Non-uniform sizing standards being another!
Guys’ clothes are starting to have the vanity sizing and such as well, but not nearly as bad. I’ve given up on trying to guess my wife’s size and just tell her I’m planning on buying her a shirt/whatever and ask what size she is.
Won’t help. You need to ask what size and manufacturer/designer. And you can’t even trust that to stay the same from one line to the next. Walmart sizing is closest to actual sizes, I think to reduce the number of returned items.
THIS. Size X fits me in brand Y? But only in cuts Z and Q. In cut R it will attempt to perform gastric (and skin) bypass surgery on me, and in cut T it will sag embarrassingly low, in a look more fit for teenage hangouts several years ago than, well, anywhere I go.
UGH this. My husband is easy to buy pants for: 28 leg 32 waist. Wait–the waist is too big? Fine; here’s a 28 leg and a 30 waist. try that one. Me? “Okay, I like the look of these so let’s try a 10 and a 12 and a 14–oh look this size fits my waist but the legs are too short. WELL GUESS I’D BETTER FIND A WHOLE NEW STYLE OF PANTS THEN BECAUSE ALL LEGS ARE THE SAME LENGTH.”
Stupid women’s clothing sizes. I wonder how much money they’re losing out on by doing it this way instead of the guy way? Because I only buy pants when my old pairs are falling apart and too ripped to wear. I’d buy them more often but it’s such a horrible, depressing process I just don’t bother.
Apparently, if you’re female, when your waist/hip size fluctuates, so does your leg length. Who knew?
I was only talking about this with my husband the other day. He wanted man achievement points for buying me clothes for Christmas that fit and didn’t need taking back to the store for a different size, and I agreed he deserved them.
He said it was unfair – I know his waist, inside leg, chest and collar size, and can buy clothes for him and instantly know they will fit. He has to go to the store with a ream of instructions and about 300 different measurements: inside leg, waist, hip, bust, underbust, dress size, grouped dress size, bra size, you name it. Then, there is store to store variation. I have to tell him different dress sizes for different stores, and different sizes in the same store depending on the cut of the garment. It would be enough to make most sane men run for the hills, so the fact that he gives it a go, nevermind succeeded on this occasion, doesn’t just deserve achievement points and a merit stamp on his man card, it deserves a freaking medal.
After he’d basked in the afterglow of ‘I done good, didn’t I’, for a bit, he reflected that stuff like this is a total nightmare for ladies and he’s amazed we don’t go loco and have a ‘Falling Down’ style meltdown in the fitting rooms every fortnight or so. Maybe we should – that might encourage stores to sort their shizz out.
I was frustated with a coat I had thinking it only had fake pockets… turned out the fake pockets had real pockets inside! or acording to my mom “they jjust sew the pocket so it doesn’t lose the shape before the customers buy it O.o
…wat
So true. I got something some levis jeans that I thought just had a generous cut. It turned out they had 2 extra I the waist. Later I took up bicycling; now those pants don’t fit at all!
Also, if a guy needs to wear a suit, there’s a reasonable chance it’ll come with fake pockets too. For some reason, when wearing a suit, you’re expected not to need to carry anything on your person….
It’s the briefcase/suit business conspiracy!
Walther PPK…NEVER ruined the line of His suits.
Hah. Mouse gun.
they are just sewn together, I have found those pockets too, but more often than not you can cut them open to be made real working pockets.
if they are indeed fake, its a cheaper suit that knows men don’t really use their vest pockets
Yeah, my suits “pockets” were totally fake; they were flaps on the suit jacket that buttoned down but there wasn’t actually any pocket under the flap like there should be.
Admittedly, as you say, you get what you pay for with a suit, and for a suit £120 isn’t much…xD
“it depends, for pants i usually go small but if its too small my navel will pop out so, if they are super tight jeans try to find me a pair that are slightly larger than small, look, this is my normal sized pants and my slim fit pants, and here are my sweat pants, take measurements.”
“you know what??? come with me, we can choose your gift together”
Still one of the greater injustices of our time.
Well Happy Birthday
Yes! Many happy returns.
Wait till Walky sees girl pants pockets which are just flaps. Flaaaps!
That’s how they’re able to sell women purses.
Exactly. It’s a conspiracy, I tells ya!
The silence has arrived beware the Silence for they control the 2 inches deep pants
Pockets… Will be small!
“It’s the government mannnnn…” So says George Orwell.
It’s like those fake Cupboard doors! WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT!? I THOUGHT I HAD WAY MORE CUPBOARDS!!!
I keep thinking there’s a hypothetical drawer which slides in where the sink would be…
THIS.
I’ve seen a kitchen sink where that fake drawer actually swung open by flipping down about 45 degrees, to reveal a small, vented, kind of V-shaped place for holding your sponges and scrubbies. Just fit nicely in the space between the drawer front and the sink.
BRILLIANT.
Hermione got so frustrated that she turned the vanity drawer in per parent’s kitchen into a real drawer using a bag of holding spell. Her parents use the drawer all the time but never put two and two together.
Undetectable Extension Charm
Fake pockets are the bane of my existence.
I remember my first sports coat throwing me for a loop with those.
I had to wear a tux the other day, and not only were the outside pockets fake, the nifty hidden inside ones were fake too! Trolling at its perfection-Polo
GODDAMN FAKE POCKETS! I actually don’t buy otherwise good pants just for that reason! D=<
I don’t buy pants unless the pockets are deep enough for me to keep a shit ton of pencils in them. Cuz 1. I like to draw. and 2. I really hope someone tries to rob me and gets stabbed by like 12 pencils.
I wish I couldb e choosy with my pocket depth because shallow pockets are annoying as feck…but it’s a pain in the butt to find pants that will fit me to begin with…everything is either the right waiste size but too short or long enough but too narrow! According to pants maker you can only be short and fat or tall and skinny. Sometimes really tall and really fat but never tall and bulky!
Are you a girl? If so have you tried looking in men’s jeans?
Also try cargo pants, folks I know seem to have better luck with those.
Sadly some of us have pelvises that just Do Not Work with men’s pants.
You just need powerful belts.
No, I’m a man, but I’ve had my keys or change slip out of my pockets when sitting down with some pants.
Try an old fashioned label like Levis or Lee. They still use inseam/length measurements, and they have different styles for different body types. I can’t stand designer labels because they have hopelessly limited sizes.
And I have the opposite problem; I’ve never bought a pair of pants that I didn’t have to hem or roll up.
Apparently my proportions aren’t within the normal range for “human.”
Look for pants that fit in the waist/hips, and hem the legs! It doesn’t take long, even by hand, and so many more pants will fit you.
If you really hate sewing, any tailor will hem them for $5-10.
That’s the thing, I have trouble finding my waist size in taller too.
Ohh, yeah, that makes sense. It’s harder to add fabric than to subtract it.
Is there a place in the world where you’re closer to average? A very lanky friend of mine gets all her pants online from Sweden, for example. If not, I guess it’s just time to bring capris back into style.
Well, their assumption is perfectly logical. Humans are like 90% water. Water is nearly incompressible. Thus, a human’s volume has to be roughly preserved as you make him/her longer or shorter and he/she has to become slimmer or wider accordingly.
I some how always make holes in my pockets, a result of this is that back in highschool a 20$ bill I once had fell out of my pants and my Gym teacher and almost took it. I got it back .
I do the same, but with seven inch tablets… What? I have to keep it somewhere.
Wouldn’t you be stabbed with your own pencils if you sit down and/or bend forward?
What’s worse, those ones or pants without pockets?
Pants with fake pockets, because they LIE TO US!
Too damn cute.
You cant give girls real pockets, it would surely be the end for us all otherwise.
What’s the worst thing a girl can put in her pocket?
“Is that a pencial in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” said no man to no woman ever.
… hey man you know…
Could be worse, s/he could could be just talking to me cause they lost a bet…
The keys to your car! Your credit card! [insert other sexist joke here]
Why would I insert a sexist joke in someone’s pocket?
Where do you put your sexist jokes? On Comedy Central? I’m pretty sure Daniel Tosh already has that covered.
http://www.hiyoooo.com
Is this a girl I know, cuz otherwise these ARE things I don’t want girls to have in their pockets! I’ve been robbed!
You don’t want to know or even need to know the potential horrors that would result from women with access to real pockets, how did you think that the patriarchy could have survived for so long? Greater physical strength? Its POCKETS I tell you, I just hope they never discover the value of carrying a towel everywhere, now that would be disastrous.
I’m pretty sure Douglas Adams got the towel thing covered. People are aware
He has doomed us all!
Watch out, there are a lot of butch women wearing men’s pants that are coming to get you.
I’m aware of that, thank goodness for the Faraday shielding hats which protect me from their insidious mind control devices, I’m not some fool who believes in tinfoil hats which makes it even easier for MC beams to alter your brain.
First girls get pockets…then MEN HAVE TO MAKE THE SANDWICHES? YOU’RE MESSING WITH THE NATURAL ORDER. (I make one hell of a sandwich though ladies. *clicks tongue*)
Sandwich-making is easy and totally worth it, though, no matter your gender. I make a MEAN Ham-pickles-and-mayo sammich.
I’m more of a Cheese, Turkey and Mayo guy. BUT MY GRILLED CHEESE IS IMMACULATE. I TOAST IT WITH GARLIC!!!
Wow, that must take forever, I use a toaster.
http://www.badum-tish.com
Tongue-clicking is how I call my cats, which makes this…an interesting visual.
Cat-llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllladies.
This is why my girl self (Yotamika) would definitely wear boy pants. And Boy shirts. I’d basically dress the same cuz fuck society!
Fuck ya thats what I’m talking about, I would probably do the same thing.
yeah, my husband and I share a shocking number of sweaters and button-downs. and we both look awesome! I look like Professional Lesbian #1, and he looks like a dorkus in preppy clothes & skate shoes!
oh dumbing of age board, you’re actually not a close friend of mine
OH WELL
I’d love to chuck out our stupid sizing and fake pockets and always wear boy pants, but those are sadly uncomfortable for most ladies! Them hips gotta go somewhere, so boypants that fit in the hips are like 4″ too wide in the waist. I could keep birds down there. Insufficiently comfy.
Congratulations on the B-Day, young’un.
I’M OLD!!!! (Thirty-nine this coming month.) WAAAAAUGHH!!!!!
Willis is as old as my middle child, and you are slightly older than my eldest. Young’un.
I’m of an age where I don’t care about fake pockets, I want real ones.
Yeah, I never understood this.
I honestly never know whether I want deeper pockets or the ability to walk around with a purse…
What’s stopping you from walking around with a purse anyway?
Mostly money.
And a wardrobe from about 2006…
(*psst*) Don’t let this get out or several industries will collapse, but if your clothes are less than a decade out of date, nobody can actually tell.
So I got like…
hold on I’m a bit slow at math give me a few minutes…
The trick is to never follow the leading fashions cos they go out of style within a couple of years, on the other hand you wear less cool clothing, you won’t look out of date for decades.
I’m actually at this very moment wearing a 22-year-old hoodie.
Or wear Abercrombie and Fitch clothing. Can’t go wrong with it (SO COMFORTABLE).
Its never about brands or fashons, its about color choices for me!
Honestly I don’t have a single pair of jeans thats less than like 6 years old, but I have like two pairs of grey jeans, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of tan jeans so I immediately stand out without peacocking.
That’s why I went medieval and wear a pouch on my belt. It’s like a purse, but in the same area as a pocket.
That’s not just medieval it’s Scottish. Gotta get me a kilt and sporran.
Or it’s a fannypack. Important distinction, as very few Medieval Scots wore Fanny packs.
Except for the famous warrior, Ian MacFanny, who pillaged twelve towns and was able to store everything he wanted on his person.
All depends on where you wear it (and how low). It ain’t a sporran if you’re not in a kilt and the pouch ain’t covering your crotch. Note: these two tings *must* go together. Center pouch over pants just makes it a crappy codpiece. And a kilt without a center weight better be some *damn* heavy fabric, cuz no one wants to see that. No, really!
(I live in Chicago. I know tragically whereof I speak).
Sometimes I wish I had a purse but I usually carry around a backpack. And that makes me feel like a protagonist in an RPG.
I always kinda figured I WAS a protagonist in an RPG. Some orc in a parallel universe is making Knowledge (Programming) skill checks while looking at an office drawn on graph paper, and failing Will Saves to resist fucking around on the internet instead of work.
I don’t mind, but did he have to make Charisma my dump stat?
It’s scary how applicable DnD is to real life.
That why you gotta get on that real life level grind son!
First off equip yourself! If you’re trying to make friends where shirt with something on that could potentially strike up a convo (show you’re a fan of something TV/Movies/Books/Cooking/Art/Alchohol/Philosphy/Religion whatever) or an item thats noticeable and has an interesting story behind it, like jewelery, charms, or old timey clothing your family gave you, or a cloak and kilt cause fuck normalcy.
Next go socialize! Talk to some mangs and womangs!
So you’re a Whovian, go to a con, geek out about whatever someone is cosplaying as (the more obscure the character and the less professional they look the better), ask em if they like Doctor Who.
Less geeky? Take a day to hit up a pub, a classy bar, or a jazz loung with a buddy and talk to the owner/tender on a slow day if you have time and money!
Try taking walks or picking up ball game with a couple friends at a local park or beach at regular intervals, maybe you’ll bump into someone who might want the court, or notice someone might always walk or exercise the same time.
Big one, some folks might get weirded out (especially we city folks) but when passing someone by; smile, nod, and say “How’s it going?” Its less weird and ambiguous than “Hello” by inviting a response. And if they respond with a “How about yourself?” respond and end with a positive comment on the weather or just by saying thanks!
count your blessings, I my player made my dump stat wisdom
(str 14 dex ? con 15 int 17 wisdom 6 charisma 14)
Hurray for backpacks! They’re the perfect purse substitute for everyone! Though you need to keep some kind of payment option in your pocket… wasting everybody’s time while you fish for it is annoying!
I appreciate the onset of the messenger bag for the same reason. TOTALLY GENDER NEUTRAL, but a little more stylish than the backpack (though I do love a good hiking pack).
Messenger bags FTW! *highfive*
I live in blue jeans and golf shirts (yes, at work as well). My yearly clothing budget is less than $200. My daughter can easily spend that in an afternoon and still complain she has nothing to wear, while ignoring the stuffed to the gills closet and clothing stored on every available horizontal surface.
How did this post get here? It was supposed to be part of a thread higher up. Well, to stay on topic, messenger bags aren’t fooling anyone, they are still purses.
Agreed! :p I prefer to have the option to carry a bag with two shoulders anyway. Really useful when walking a while (I walk to work).
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday!!
And seriously. I hate my pants.
Go commando!
That wouldn’t help with not liking the pants!
Well, that explains handbags and purses.
I suspect that handbags long precede women wearing pants. Dresses of course don’t have pockets either.
Actually, many dresses do have pockets!
Just not dresses that are considered fashionable. Because if they give you the pockets, they can’t sell you the purse.
(Don’t tell them, but I’m still carrying the same purse I had in high school…and even then, only when I’m going out for a while, because it is the perfect size for holding my thermos.
How do girls even live without real pockets? I’d go crazy without deep pockets.
This is why we have purses.
Hell, this is why I carry with me a purse and a laptop bag everywhere most of the time, along with a third little pouch just for the keys to get me into my dorm.
Inefficiently, in other words.
I don’t use purses because at school, I usually walk around with a backpack for my books, so a purse would be awkward. But I can’t put my phone and keys and stuff in my backpack because I could lose them. :/ It’s a dilemma.
I personally depend less on pockets and more on my shoulder-bag these days to carry my stuff, a towel is just too bulky to carry around in any size clothing pocket anyhow.
PLASMA’S A GIRL!?! *DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!!!*
Or a guy who wears shoulder bags? Oddly less shocking.
My shoulder bag is more or less like a postman’s bag, it is very handy when I do my daily shopping to buy milk and buns.
Tho THE thing is always know where your towel is.
I would start sewing my own pants. With pockets so deep they reach the knees.
The problem with that is that girl pants tend to be pretty tight, so deep pockets would still be difficult to access.
Why would they be tight? Aren’t I sewing them in this situation?
The forces of the universe would compel you to make them as uncomfortable as possible. On the other hand, your ass will look fantastic.
Why stop at the knees?
The real question is how one lives with both tiny pockets and a tiny purse. Why those things exist is a question for the ages.
They’ve evolved a symbiotic relationship with tiny dogs.
I have a mid-sized purse (styled more like a small messenger bag) that I use when I have more to carry around, and I use a backpack at school for my books and such, but when all I need with me is my phone, wallet, and keys, I use a small purse that’s maybe 5 x 3 x 1.5 (completely estimated just now; those are not exact measurements.) Way better than a bulky bag when I don’t have much to carry with me, but it holds way more than my pockets. Even a tiny purse is way more useful than tiny pockets.
If you give girls real pockets, they’ll lose the only reason they have to keep men around.
The real gay agenda.
Well played good sir. Well played.
The lack of pocket liners gives a smoother line to the pants, like going commando, gives for a lean look.
Boo
I guess that’s why handbags were invented then, they’re the pockets you have when you don’t have pockets.
Handbags: Because you spent $50 go get a smooth line for your hip…and then decided to attach a designer tumor to it so no one can tell.
OH! Another true fact: Girls, did you know that when men buy hoodies, they are made of real material and actually keep the wind out? Seriously! I got one that’s even faux fur lined and warm in winter.
It’s a whole new world in the men’s department.
Women make up a significant number of fashion heads/designers so patriarchy cannot be blamed for the lack of pockets in this instance.
Lotta enforcement of patriarchy is done by women, in lotta ways.
Because women don’t grow up internalizing beliefs harmful to women?
I’d want to see some statistics, to be frank. Fashion is certainly considered a women’s industry, but that’s not the same as being run by women. Men who take up careers that are traditionally ‘women’s work’ often do better than their female colleagues. Like, women are cooks, but men get to be chefs, etc. (I don’t mean that that’s literally what always happens)
Really? I always thought women’s fashions were designed by men who hated women. Only way I could rationalize some of the truly ridiculous and bizarre fashions I see.
someone doesn’t understand patriarchy
+1
The thing about patriarchy is that it’s still patriarchy even if it’s propagated or even supported by women, and even if it is harmful to men.
Happy Birthday.
…I did not know this.
Ive had some coats with fake pockets. Cant see how females can stand having them on everything. Why cant fashion designers just trust us not to stuff a billion things in our pockets when we want to look good?
I stuff a bajillion things in my pocket when I want to look good. Girls like a man who can fit EVERYTHING in his pants.
Oh my.
This female can’t see how other females stand it either. I’ve tried purses. They’re uncomfortable and they get lost. Which leads to the important things in them getting lost too!
Yes. This. I think I carried a purse 2 days in my entire life. When I was *4*, because it was the best way to carry my crayons (so does that actually make it an artists bag?) If I can’t carry what I need in my pockets – and I’ll include a jacket for this – then I don’t need to be carrying it. Things that are nice to have or wouldn’t fit in anyone’s pocket go in the backpack. Purses are just overpriced messenger bags with lousy carrying options.
Next you’ll be telling me that they put girls’ buttons on the wrong side too!
No, girls just wear their pants inside out.
This makes so much sense.
well, for shirts at least. it’s a practical thing. women’s shirts have the buttons set up to “make it easier to nurse”….
I was told because it was to make it easier for a maid to dress her mistress. (This assumes a right-handed maid, and that the woman being dress can afford said maid.)
Men also had people to dress them in the old days. The reason men and women have buttons on different sides is so men could draw their swords and women could feed their babies (or their mistress’s babies).
I thought it was so it was easier for men to unbutton women’s shirts.
Wait, guys’ shirts button on a different side than girls’ shirts? I actually did not know this.
It’s true. It’s so that if a girl and a guy are sitting in the front of a car and the boy is driving, they each can look through the gaps between the buttons on the other’s shirts and enjoy the view. This is the real reason for serious.
I always figured I was missing out on something living in a country where we drive on the left.
It’s ok it makes it easier to rip each other’s clothes off.
PS. Please make sure you have permission from each other before commencement of said ripping.
And hopefully you aren’t driving.
It blew my mind a little when a lady acquaintance explained this to me. Why is this a thing? Why aren’t women allowed to carry a lot of stuff in their pockets like men are? Surely SOME brands boast practicality over… whatever misguided sense of fashion causes this ridiculousness!
Maybe its a conspiracy with the purse manufacturers
You mean like virus protection companies making viruses?
Is reminded of a Three Stooges film where Moe, Larry and Curly infest a mansion with mice, then show up at the door all like “Exterminators!”
You know, I can see that from a practical standpoint. If they wanna make their virus protection strong, they gotta code it against the worst viruses they can come up with.
I’m gonna guess the default assumption is they are using a purse. Which to be fair is totally a big ol bag full of stuff a guy cannot carry around without social stigmas. Then again we have briefcases.
What’s in a purse that a guy would want to carry anyway? For everything else there’s a backpack!
No idea. Not exactly one to rummage through people things. Mostly I just miss my old school days when I could pack away my life on my back and not have to worry if I’ve forgotten anything important
That’s pretty much why I (almost?) always wear a safari/photographer’s vest when I go out.
;-p (^_^)
But it’s super easy to lose purses…at least if you’re good at losing things like me. It takes real skill, however, to lose a pocket.
Challenge accepted.
I hate purses. If anything I’d wear, like a smaller messenger bag over the shoulder or something if I want to carry stuff with me. But I still feel cheated out of pockets.
DAMN YOUHAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIS.Welcome to 35-Year-Old-Land!
And enjoy your episode of “Community!”
Rejoice in the fact that you can buy pants without trying them on first.
hoodie dresses have struck a blow for girl getting real pockets
So you’re 35 now huh, welcome to pre-middleage.
I had the opposite realization. “GUY PANTS GO DOWN MORE THAN AN INCH?” and then I was enraged at the fashion industry forever.
How do they even find things with pockets they can actually store stuff in?
If you’re dumb about it (which I can’t say I’ve strayed from) and put everything in one pocket, it can take a good awkward minute or two of awkwardly rummaging your hand around. Worth it though.
I put my wallet on one side, phone on the other, and keys inside the smaller inner pocket.
Yes, some dude jeans have smaller pockets inside the large normal pocket. And I’m not even talking about the ridiculous 90’s cargo jeans with the infinipocket dimensions that stored entire notebooks. Just…regular jeans. With small pockets inside big pockets.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the tiny pocket inside the bigger pocket on dude jeans was the same size or bigger than lady jeans pockets.
That’s your watch pocket, for storing your pocketwatch where you can find it. Seriously.
I was told it’s a change pocket, so you have a place to put your quarters where you don’t have to dig for them. (I’ve definitely had sub-pockets that would never hold a watch.)
It can be used for that, but it’s definitely a watch pocket in design terms, if not practical use. Unless there’s some new pocket I haven’t heard of.
I’ve also heard it referred to as a lighter pocket, a knife pocket and a chapstick pocket
And where it doesn’t get scratched up by keys and whatnot in your regular pocket.
I’ve actually used my watch pocket for carrying my pocketwatch.
Pocketwatches are amazingly outdated. They need to make it bigger for cell phones. Cell phone pockets.
I actually used it for cell phone pockets back when I had a crappy old cell phone. I actually thought that was the intended purpose. My new smartphone won’t fit in a pocket that size.
Wait, the smaller pocket needs to be made bigger for cell phones? Most of my lady-pants’ pockets can’t hold a cell phone at all… Some of them even have smaller pockets on the inside, too, but those are absolutely worthless because for the most part they’re literally too small to hold ANYTHING AT ALL.
My cell phone lives in its belt case, as it should. The whole phone in pocket thing never made sense to me. Of course I saw from the get go the issue with wallets in the back pocket, and have always carried mine in the front pocket.
Well, I guess purses are the equivalent / compensation?
I’ll never understand this.
I already learnt about the issue of pockets in women’s clothing thank toi this article I read a couple of years ago.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-baffling-things-about-womens-clothes/
Good ol’ Cracked. It’s like Buzzfeed but actually interesting.
I check about a dozen or so Buzzfeed videos, only a couple of them had any interesting content in them, I don’t know why they are so successful.
Because people like you continue to hope that there’s something good on that site. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Five more years until you can have a legit mid-life crisis! I can’t WAIT to hear what it’s like when that happens to someone with shelves of toys.
And that’s assuming your pants even HAVE pockets, rather than just fake things that look like pockets but are made of lies and do not actually open. (Sometimes there even ARE pockets that are sewn shut because HAHAHA FUCK YOU FASHION INDUSTRY.)
I once accidentally got pants with fake pockets. I’ve never worn them since. They are full of LIES
With or without you in them? >:)
Appropriate Avitar is Appropriate
How can they be full of lies? THERE ARE NO POCKETS TO FIT THE LIES INTO
Also if they were full of lies I’m pretty sure they’d spontaneously combust
I have been informed that pants catch fire in the presence of liars
I seem to remember telephone wires are also somehow involved.
Happy Birthday!
Just let them have pockets, girls love clothing so why not just let them have that…then again would girls even use pockets? Dont most women already have 5 different kinds purses at a time, then complain when they loose stuff in it?
YOU KNOW THIS TRUE.
only the ones who give in!!
I don’t own any stupid purses. I have a satchel that I take shopping and a backpack I bring to work. I also won’t buy a coat or jacket if it has shallow pocket. And to top it off, my pants (with the exception of my pants for work) all come from the boy’s section. I don’t want to look like a “working girl”, thank you very much!
*Clap Clap Clap* an example to be followed
This only works if you’re a certain shape of lady, though! For folks with hip-curves, boypants soon get very uncomfortable and awkward, especially if you also have a small waist. I want pants that are basically shaped like me AND have pockets — is that so much to ask?!
This is such a strange comment (imo). Like, why is this an example to be followed? I mean, it clearly works for Otera. Which is awesome! I’m glad Otera has that.
But personally, I like purses, and I like buying my pants form the women’s section. They fit my hips better and I just think I look better in them (bigger pockets would still be nice, of course). That’s not giving in?? And it’s not some kind of flaw or something. Which is the vibe I’m getting from this comment. Am I missing the joke?
Now I am imagining Dina in loose cargo pants carrying a messenger bag. All dinosaur-themed, of course.
Same here. I carry a messenger bag, but only because my sketchbook goes everywhere I go. I also use it in lieu of a backpack for classes. I haven’t shopped in the woman’s section for pants since the beginning of high school. There’s nothing practical or even comfortable most of the time about lady’s clothes. :\ The worst thing about women’s tiny pockets is trying to fit car keys in them and getting stabbed in the leg.
‘working girl’?
hahaha silly shallow girls with their silly shallow fashion
you’re only worthwhile if you shop in the guy’s section! (also purses are bad!!!!)
Yeah, for real, what is this?
lol i get it
If they had bigger pockets, they wouldn’t need purses! It’s a conspiracy!
What reason is there to carry a purse when you can fit everything you need in pockets? Literally the only reason I carry a purse regularly is to carry my wallet, which can’t fit in the pockets of any of my pants.
“lol girls love clothing” “lol girls with their stupid purses” “lol girls are whiny” Are you, like, 13 years old? Have you tried actually talking to girls instead of basing your impressions on sit-coms?
Things that you need for work. Stethoscopes, for example
I like purses because I can carry significantly more than I could in just a pocket. I get big purses and fill them up to the brim so I never have to leave anything behind which is useful when you’re someone like me: messy, and unprepared.
(And yeah, I am lost in this thread. What does this guy have against women/clothing/purses???)
My shocking realization is that sometimes bras are used for storage. Like for credit cards and… I’m just gonna stop it’s still mysterious to me.
Well if you don’t have pockets…and hopefully no one’s going to try and pickpocket your bra.
Pickbra-et? I’m bad at this.
I once had a girlfriend filch a $20 from me and stash it in her bra on the theory that I wouldn’t go after it there.
I’m not sure what gave her that idea. It’s not like my hands hadn’t been inside her shirt before or anything. Her expression when I reached in and plucked it out was priceless, though.
I have had female friends try that on me as well. They were very surprised when it didn’t stop me from retrieving my property. I did refrain, however, when they stuffed said items down their pants.
But then the salespeople get sweaty, clammy bra-bills.
Now these are the real issues. Thank you for bringing this heinous injustice to light and giving it the attention it so rightly deserves.
A related issue to consider: Initiative for more (or any, really) pockets in skirts and dresses!
Just. Pockets. Pockets are so important. Jackets often have these dumb ‘girl pockets’, too. WHAT can even fit in there? Nothing. I’ve definitely had the tiniest things fall out of ‘girl pockets’, like bus tickets and stuff. If your pocket is not actually capable of HOLDING anything, then it’s not a pocket.
Sorry. I just have a lot of feelings about pockets and this strip speaks to my very soul lol.
You can get skirts with pockets, I’ve got a couple.
I know, but it’s a super rarity still. I am so excited when I find a nice skirt or dress with pockets, it’s like Christmas every time.
I just realized something…girl pants don’t have deep pockets, but mom jeans do.
Discus.
Weird?
They need room to carry all those nickels.
Mom jeans are hot!
Discus.
+1 for high waisted pants
Keep in mind that sometimes the pockets are loosely sewn shut, and you have to take apart the stitching to open them up.
Yes, and that is a lie the fashion industry uses to get you to buy pants that won’t look good in actual use, rather than designing better pants.
I don’t buy those, because they are bad and made by bad people who are bad.
Wha…? Without pockets, where do you put your car/house keys?
You hold them. With the keys between your fingers as a makeshift weapon, if it’s dark or you’re alone (at least, that’s what I was taught. Girl problems go a bit deeper than our nonexistent pockets, I’m afraid).
I was just told to aim for the balls or use your elbow, but then again my uncle is a black belt.
Girl I knew in high school skipped the “using keys as a makeshift weapon” part and just had a keychain that was made from a 6″ section of 3/4″ PVC pipe filled with concrete.
That would be heavy, good luck storing that in your pocket.
Happy birthday Willis (you asshole, you) have a good night.
As someone who is transitioning from male to female, pockets are an issue of concern for me. (I have tasted the fruit of real pockets, and I cannot go back!) Luckily, this issue is pretty much solved for me by how butch I am. I’m sticking with my men’s jeans, and the only way I am wearing a skirt is if someone makes a cargo skirt. (A cargo skirt does sound kind of awesome, can this be a thing?)
Cargo skirts are most definitely a thing. As someone who wore a lot of them in the 90s, let me tell you, they are a thing xD
I approve of this idea so hard.
You mean you’ve never heard of the Utilikilt and its imitators?
Scottish Batman Approved!
Happy Birthday, Pornlord Willis.
Happy Birthday !
You may celebrate this day by drawing porn. You’re 35 and nobody can stop you !
I *hate* that!
(Don’t worry, I’m sure you aren’t the first to mess that up. In the future, put the text you want bolded in between and [without the .s]) BE BOLD
Also, Happy Birthday!
*plays John Cougar’s “Ain’t Even Done With The Night” on the speakers*
I Just had a rant about this yesterday! People criticize me for always wearing a jacket, even when its 70 degrees, but if I didn’t I couldn’t carry anything!
That’s why I never go out of my residence without wearing my photographer’s vest. (^_^)
And the buttons are the wrong way round, so you have to be careful not to catch the hilt of your cutlass.
Wait wait wait, I share your birthday? Ummm… happy birthday!
Happy birthday, dude!
I got the Ultimate Cargo Pants from Duluth Trading Co. They’ve got 11 pockets. I carry about 5 lbs of crap in my pockets every time I leave the house.
Ready for anything…
Those are great. I’ve had jeans from Duluth Trading, although lately I’ve been buying Carharrt – they seem to give the best life.
Among the crap I haul around: Wallet, keys, folding knife, money clip, cigar trimmer, lighter, bandanna, pocket watch and (where my permit is good) a sidearm.
“Is that a gun in y–”
“Both.”
So, I assume you wear both a belt and suspenders?
Actually, neither one usually. I still have some remnants of hips, and the fit is, uh, “snug” enough that I don’t need them.
But that’s what happens when you wear your pants where they’re supposed to go, not six inches too low.
Happy Birthday, Willis!
Take a week off of something, treat yo self
My work pants had the pockets sewn shut. so infuriating!! apparently once you get past the age of 12 you’re not supposed to want to have pockets anymore. I don’t wanna carry around some stupid purse!! give me some proper pockets!!!
I do have to say though…. I recently discovered that there might be a practical reason to shallow pockets. I just got engaged and with how stupidly tight my work pants are (just to not fall off. it’s beyond stupid. GIVE ME CARGO PANTS!!!) I can’t get the ring into my pocket without being worried about damaging them or ruining the ring (never been big on jewelry, so this is all very new to me. I expect the setting to brake at the drop of a hat, even though I’m sure it won’t)….. So when I’m at work with the ring on, I wind up being grateful of the stupidly shallow pockets.
Happy Birthday, Willis!
Otera, is there an actual pocket underneath the sewn shut opening? If there is, you’re supposed to cut the threads that keep the pocket sewn shut after you get them home. They just use a light basting stitch when they make the pants so that the pocket fabric doesn’t get warped or messed up in the store because a whole bunch of people may try on the pants, but they are not properly washed or pressed between people trying them on.
However, sometimes there is a sewn shut pocket opening and there’s actually no pocket underneath, which is stupid and annoying. (you can tell which is which by looking at the insides of the pants.
yeah, there is an actual pocket, but it was a huge pain getting the stitching out none the less.
remember the 90’s when you could fit books pencils pens that old brick of a gameboy a can of spraypaint and random tools in your pockets and still have room for your hands and lots of shiny rocks that you happened to pick up
I used to put whole notebooks in my giant pockets. Whole notebooks.
I used to keep a spare sweater and two cans of coke, in addition to my dog’s leash, a copy of Snow Dogs, and the entire Scooby Doo Action Figure set.
It’s worth mentioning that as a skinny kid, I also needed very tight belts to restrain the tens of pounds of crap in my overstuffed pants pockets.
Original gameboys (not the pocket, the ORIGINAL) were roughly the shape, size and weight of an actual brick. 4 AA batteries that it ate through for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
To this day most of the TV remotes in my parent’s house have mostly-dead batteries I swapped out of my gameboy, when there were no new ones to be found.
this is a wild exaggeration the original gameboy measures 3.5″ x 6″ x 1″ and i couldn’t venture a guess at its exact weight but it is most certainly less than a pound and thus much lighter than a brick
yes i actually got out my gameboy and a tape measure
what
Wow, somehow I had memory-holed that fake pockets are a real thing. As a dude who wore a lot of hand-me downs and discount jeans, I’ve only encountered them once or twice, and thought they were some kind of weird fashion anomaly. The idea that such idiotic designs are common is giving me a headache.
I checked my privilege. It was in my reasonably sized pockets next to my phone, wallet, and keys.
Am I the only who noticed how much of the series has been about clothes? In “It’s Walky” and “Shortpacked” the casts were issued uniforms. In DoA everyone’s free to wear what they want, and I’m guessing that Willis gets many of his story ideas from the research required to know what the young people are wearing nowadays.
Just off the top of my head:
The pajama-jeans.
The bone t-shirts.
The first-date dress.
The lost shoe and resulting shopping trip.
The cheerleader uniform.
The other cheerleader uniform.
The hoodies.
The cartoon fan gear.
The green school uniform.
The gloves.
The mask.
And in the future, the skates.
Actually, I found out about the pockets identically to how it was portrayed in the strip while trying to perform that move on my wife… last year.
I am observant!
You romantic dork.
It’s a very cute move, for the record.
However, keep in mind when performing this move, not to push too hard into the pocket, or the object of your affection may end up with her pants down around her ankles. Note, this is a bad thing if you happen to be out in public.
You forgot the hoodie-dresses: a distinct and wholly superior article to your standard hoodies.
First DoA comment, just needed to say that, as a girl, this is a VERY important issue everyone should be aware of. Pocket Equality, ya’ll. It’s coming.
Pocket equality is coming.
If girls don’t get pockets neither will boys.
at night we come into your room and snip out all your pockets.
Ladies, you need to protest this. Or start wearing guys’ pants again.
Pocketless pants for men are on their way.
In the future, clothes won’t have pockets.
Everything will be online.
So clouds will replace pockets?
More accurately the RFID tags they’ll be implanting in all of us. They’re car keys and credit cards all in one! And with the factory-standard cerebral cell-phone attachment, they will also provide unlimited advertising and also allow the corporations/government to read your mind. As a bonus!
curved hips – some women have them
enough room for curved hips – most guy pants don’t have it
Hey, Dorothy!
You know what girl’s outfit has pockets? Amazi-Girl’s! You know this already. She can fit in her pockets shoes and transformer toys and certain items for the girl who is prepared for anything.
Get yourself a cape, Dorothy! You’ll be glad you did.
Yeah, I found that out about 3, 4 years ago. Of all the weird, fucked up things about how we approach gender roles in this society that one’s one of the more inexplicible ones.
Curves. Women’s clothing is designed to show off their figure, make them stand out.
Women have a very large variety of types of clothing and styles to choose from to mix and match.
Men’s clothing is designed to hide their figure, make them invisible.
The available selection in men’s clothes is miniscule.
Apparenty men are more attractive the less you see of them.
Well sure. Have you seen dicks lately? They’re hilarious. They’re just kinda hanging out there with their head down like they’re apologizing for looking so damn stupid.
I’ll have you know that my dick stands proud and tall at all times! >:(
…it sounded better in my mind, I swear it.
“In the event of an erection that persists longer than 4 hours, the patient should seek immediate medical assistance.”
Wow, you must be in severe pain.
how could that possibly have sounded better in your mind?
Because a guy’s body is just an unremarkable life support system for his penis?
But that’s the thing! Men’s clothing is designed to cover them, be sort of amusing and PRACTICAL. Women’s clothing is designed to show you as much of their figure and body shape as possible with low necklines, tight fits, little to no pocket space, practically see-through and just “decorate” girls. It’s just…. so stupid!
I hope one day that men’s clothing can be just as decorative and exploitative as girl clothing is.
I hope someday all men will be drag queens.
my girlfriend approves of this comment a lot
(she loves drag queens)
Didn’t that happen in the 70’s in some places?
I never understood the reasoning behind not giving girl’s pockets. Pockets are probably the best clothing related invention after, well, clothing itself. They have so much usefulness, and are way more organized than purses.
yeah sure girls get purses and fanny packs and whatnot, but what’s the point of putting pockets on pants and then deliberately making them useless? When with the same effort you could make them useful and still aesthetically nice
The worst thing about women’s pants having shallow pockets, not being able to play “pocket pinball” with them.
Happy congratulations to you!
One of many, many reasons why women’s jeans/trousers really, really suck.
This is kind of simple. If the pants are meant for fashion or looks, they don’t have real pockets. Why? Because then you can’t put anything in the pocket to create an outline.
I’d wager that women’s clothing is more often designed for fashion than men’s, and it would be more common to have non-functional pockets.
But that explanation, in and of itself, is incredibly worrying.
“Men get practical, cause men do practical things, women get pretty, cause they do looking pretty”
Don’t misunderstand me- clothes for the sake of looking good have their place…
But I can understand being mildly aggregated by having easy access to only pretty/fashionable clothes.
And the tacit implication that, as a person, your function is to look pretty and do nothing else- that would make me rage.
Exactly! This right here!
You’ve got the cause/effect relationship backwards.
Clothing companies make men’s and women’s jeans that way because that’s what people want to buy. They make what sells, or they go out of business. Evidently more women are concerned with how the jeans fit than with pocket space.
In any case: It’s easy to find women’s jeans with comfortable fit and real pockets. Go to a Shepler’s, a Big Five, a Farm & Fleet or a sporting goods outfit like Cabela’s or Gander Mountain. Different market, different product.
You Lie!
At least for a segment of the population. Finding any pants at all that can deal with “Extreme curves” is almost impossible. Pants made for men are definitely not an option.
I’ve tried big 5, Cabela’s, and just about every other store that exists. All of the women’s pants found there have such a gap in the waist that if they can go around my hips, I could easily smuggle a small child across the border in the small of my back.
Mrs. Animal has almost exactly that problem, being what my Uncle Coy describes as a “short round woman just like all the other women in the family.” (Long story.) She likes Wrangler jeans for that reason – they fit.
She also can’t wear a belt because of multiple surgery scars on her back and a bad chronic pain issue that affects her lower back and hips. Wranglers still work. Not perfect, but they work.
“they all carry hand bags anyway”
said the fashion designer.
I doubt things are as black and white as people are making it look
Yes, because society tells them they should be concerned with those things.
Ipse dixit.
That doesn’t make it the fault of the pants-makers. At the end of the day they’re still making what their customers will buy.
No, the OP had the cause/effect right here. Just because a business makes it, does not mean it is a rational decision based on good information. It’s not like people stop being humans when they become executives.
No, it’s still wrong, at least for any business that has been in business for more than a year. The decision is made on the only – I say again, the only rational reason – what their customers want. Otherwise, they aren’t in business long.
The only *rational* reason, sure. But people aren’t rational. People are greedy, jerky monsters who are also smart enough to circumvent giving people what they want while maximizing profits regardless, mostly because we’ve learned how to kick the can of disaster down the road far enough that someone else later on will have to deal with it after we’re dead.
I’m familiar with that argument – I just don’t buy it. I don’t think most folks are so weak-willed that a company can, through advertising, convince them they want something they don’t. They can influence, but they can’t brainwash.
There is a tendency – I’m guilty of it myself at times – to feel that people, who have made decisions we don’t understand or don’t agree with, have been influenced somehow. Problem is it’s just not true. People like different things. I don’t understand why people like to watch sports, but the overwhelming majority of folks in this country do like that – and the sports industry generates billions in revenue. Is that wrong? Nope. Is there some nefarious purpose in it? Nope. Are people unduly influenced in some subtle way to get people to watch, people who wouldn’t otherwise? Not really. Sports, as with clothing, cars, beer and a gazillion other products and services, are advertised.
But advertisement isn’t brainwashing. Most people know what they like. They buy it. Hell, plenty of people probably don’t understand my penchant for shitkicker boots and huge cowboy hats, but that doesn’t mean some corporation nudged me into buying them.
And even if we grant that premise, that corporate or small-business (to be, you know, inclusive) advertising has an undue effect on economic behavior – the next question becomes “and therefore, what?” Is there some public policy solution that is missing from the equation? Is there some law or regulation that will change the situation without just making things worse?
Also, what can of disaster are we kicking down the road?
It’s not always about brainwashing, it’s often about limited choices. For example, people in poverty probably don’t always want to be eating stuff like fast food, but fresh fruits and vegetables are too expensive on their tiny paycheck and so terrible crap is the only way to get full. What to eat is not a valid choice they can make. They do not have purchasing power. This is not something they are too stupid or brainwashed to achieve, it is an environment created by lack of a living wage — which is something a business can orchestrate by not paying people enough and maximizing their own profits, thus perpetuating a cycle in which they hold all the power. There is no accountability in this arrangement.
In this circumstance, the can of disaster being kicked down the road is the erasure of the middle class, removing a segment of people who could otherwise pay money into the system as revenue falls solely into the hands of a select few, until eventually, perhaps decades later, everything goes kablooey. But in the meantime, businesses make money hand over fist. No immediate accountability.
I feel like this assumes the people who run companies are totally unaffected by the biases and stereotypes that have kind of been embedded into our culture. And I’d have to say that I find that very unlikely. Businesses are not run in completely sterile conditions by robots, they’re run by people. I mean, bad business decisions are made all the time, and yeah, some of them are based off sexism.
It’s hard to call it a bad decision when they sell their products. At the end of the day that’s what companies are supposed to do.
That’s why I love scrubs. Real pockets, for all genders.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Willis!!! You *are* a total Aries, aren’t you? (That’s a good thing, to be clear!)
And that’s why I’m glad to be a guy. I have one pair of jeans with pockets so large that I can fit my phone, iPod touch, Vita, and 3DSXL in one pocket. Its so nice.
Oh, and happy birthday and stuff.
I wear ‘boy shorts’ as part of my school uniform. Big pockets, unlike the capris.
Happy birthday, Mr. Willis! You may be old–half-dead, really–but we’ll always remember you as the inspiration you were in your more vital days.
you mean the days when he was a fundamentalist christian who couldn’t even bring himself to write a swear word?
Every schoolchild knows that women’s fashion is ruled by Gelzor, Lord of Torment
That would explain the shoes.
I can attest that the problem with women’s pockets has gotten worse over about the past five years, because I’ve gone to buy new jeans of the exact same style number as before, and the newer jeans have pockets that are about two to three inches shorter than the older pair of that style. However, at least the back pockets on jeans are functional as long as you don’t have to sit down.
I think the only solution to this problem is to have more men wear women’s slacks. I hear it gives you confidence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG0kwal0Im4
Not Marten Reed…
Even since I discovered Kickstarter.com, I’ve said that a campaign with decent prices, good design and sizes for the curvy and flat butted could eviscerate their goal if they jeans for women with deep pockets.
My SO gets so incredibly frustrated at my girl pockets. XD
Girl-pockets are indeed tragic.
Well, I turn 34 in about four weeks.
Happy oh-god-stop-making-me-feel-so-old day.
Skirts are worse. Skirts and dresses NEVER have pockets.
I dunno. I have at least one of each with really nice deep pockets. but then again, I think I got both of them from my mother and those two items of clothing are probably older than I am. but they have good strong fabric, pockets, and they fit me.
Waaaaaait. Seriously? Girls have no pockets???
*Bites tongue*
The ironic thing is that they’ve got deeper pockets available with pants OFF than with pants ON.
And it is almost as uncomfortable to store things in these as in girlpants pockets.
Mrs. Animal has been known to conceal a small handgun and a wicked little sheath knife in her brassiere. True story.
Your lady sounds scary.
It’s frickin’ great.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILLIS– *throws party* Don’t forget your strap on, everyone!
Hence the need for hoody dresses!
I feel like this is a discussion that Willis & his wife have had at least 3 times.
I’ve asked like five girls in my math class about it and i still don’t get it, so there’s a good possibility.
I wear girl jeans and I have to say that this is absolutely true.
Walky, Dorothy… I realize you two just banged for the first time (and Walky’s first time), but, seriously… you need to turn that afterglow down. It’s nauseating.
I was wondering how they could even walk wrapped up like they are. I know for me it’s impossible.
Yea, probably a little hard on the back walking bent over to the side like that. It would work if the male walked behind the female, but then they have to synchronize their pace. And likely groin contact would cause something embarrassing to arise.
Geeze, yesterday was as serious comic with character development and when I woke up there were about 130 comments.
Today there are 241 at the same time in the morning ona cute little filler. Priorities people!
Fake pockets are serious business.
More people can relate and understand the feeling involving pockets or the lack thereof than one-night stands I guess.
Happy blerfday Willis
seriously!4 girl pants suck. well, i love watching them go anyway… heyoooooooo
here here!!!! (or “hear hear!!!”)
It’s “hear, hear!” — from the early days of Parliament when members who were in agreement with the speak would should “Hear him! Hear him!” as a show of support. Over the years it eventually got shorted to merely “Hear, hear!!”.
And this is supported by transcripts and writings of the day going back to the 1600s.
thank you for knowing that
Mrs. Animal buys Wrangler western cut women’s jeans. Plenty of pocket space. (and I swear, they don’t make her butt look big! They don’t, I tell you!) Key: Jeans made for work, not style.
Oh, and happy birthday, David, you young whippersnapper. Middle age looms in the horizon! Mwahahahaaha.
I was going to give my usual “35? I’ve got T-Shirts older than that”, but I finally misplaced my original Star Wars T-Shirt from ’77. I think my oldest remaining T-Shirts are just under 30 years old.
Yes, I do have a t-shirt older than that, but only one.
Twice 17.5; half of 70: way better than the alternatives! Happy BD!
So many of the things “made for girls” suck hard compared to the “normal” (and I’m using the quotation marks as hard as I can here) version.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!!!!!!! (ah, to be 35 again)
that’s one of my favorite positions to walknuggle, and I also hate fake pockets
I’d never be able to find it again, but I recently read an article that said women don’t really have access to the comfortable clothing they’d like to wear because the stores only carry whatever’s supposedly “in fashion”. Simple stuff, like a decent long sleeve shirt with actual full length sleeves, are supposedly impossible to find. The article said a lot of women wear shirts in layers not because they like that look but because they can’t buy a single shirt that’s thick enough fabric it can be worn by itself.
It’s one of those rare situations where the free market breaks down a little because rather than finding out what the customer wants and needs and selling that, the women’s fashion industry thinks it knows better than its customers, and also thinks it has to continuously reinvent itself and toss out all existing designs just for the sake of it.
It’s not at all a women’s lib thing or a glass ceiling type of thing, this isn’t sexism they way you normally think of it, but it is an example of why it sucks sometimes for no good reason to be a woman in America today.
Is there anywhere it doesn’t suck to be a woman? And has there ever been?
Excuse me while I go cry in a corner out of shame for my gender.
Fashion! This aspect of society is so terrible that we have to change it every year!
So maybe if people — ALL people, not just women — quit paying so damned much attention to what so-and-so is wearing at the such-and-such award show, “sensible” clothing will perhaps make a comeback.
I’m not really sure the Academy Awards are Patient Zero for institutionalized sexism in clothing.
Another reason why I prefer my women to wear yoga pants!
Happy Birthday!! You are 3 years, 2 days, (and maybe 1 hour), older than me!
Happy birthday, yayyyy!
… PS what’s it like to be 35?
Yes, what was it like? It has been so long I cannot remember.
I’ve always found this quite distressing. In my opinion every item of clothing should have at least one pocket.
Not only that but girls blouses rarely have pockets in them. Where are the nerdy girls supposed to keep their pens???????
Not a lie: I got a job once that required me to wear a white, button-down shirt with a pocket on the front. I spent AN ENTIRE SATURDAY scouring malls and stores and what-not looking for a single woman’s blouse that met those conditions.
Nothing. Until a friendly clerk mentioned I might try a “uniform store.” That’s right, I had to go where they sell COVERALLS AND ELECTRIC-RESISTANT GEAR to get a white, button down women’s blouse with a pocket on the front.
And don’t tell me I could have worn a men’s shirt. Because…not without flashing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIS!
Over 700 Facebook ‘Likes’ as I type this… I wonder if someone famous or semi-famous reposted this strip.
Oh, I see it’s been mentioned on Jezebel. Could be part of it.
Happy Birthday~! 35 years young! Please don’t overwork yourself so we can all live to see Joyce and the gang reach 35 in DOA time.
Likewise, Mr. Willis.
Although I do feel the need to add the fact that I have T-shirts at home older than you are…..
I… don’t think any of us are going to live to see that. Given the current timeflow ratio of about a real-world year per DoA week, Joyce’ll turn 35 sometime around the year 2900.
Walkyverse Joyce, on the other hand, turns 35 this May. For some reason, that makes me feel way older than the fact that I turn 40 in October.
Happy birthday, you halfway-to-seventy person!
I think that just the feeling of sticking my hands down a pair of cavernous pockets, and waving them around, is wonderful, even though I don’t really need the extra space.
Happy Birfday, person who is still younger than me!!!
Happy birthday! You have about five years until the arthritis in your drawing hand becomes a real pain. Start looking a wax baths now. Trust me on this. It is worse than the lack of pockets.
So the amazigirl vs Blaine arc gets 400ish comments. The stealth racism gets 400 plus comments. Annnnnnd the pocketless jeans strip gets about 400 comments.
…one of these things is not like the others.
You’re right, the pocketless jeans is way more interesting than either of those two topics.
stealth racism, stealth patriarchy – i can see parallels, at least.
Happy Birthday
A civil rights battle not won due to improper tactics. I volunteer to not wear pants until this issue is resolved. It will be a sacrifice to give up having almost a hundred cubic inches of pocket space, but it is one I am willing to make! I presume the sight of me sans pants will be enough to turn the heart (if not stomach) of the most stubborn of fashion designers; but if others wish to join me, the more the merrier!
Also, this might have the added benefit of inspiring said fashion blokes to make clothes that cover guys’ legs, so that maybe retail stores can stock more than 20 to 80 guys-clothes to gals-clothes. To all the folks inclined to say “girls who want pockets should just wear men’s pants” I have several things, not all jokes, to say:
1) that’s what they DID. And now there are actually such things as “girl pants,” which would have been considered transvestitism not too long ago.
2) don’t encourage a trend of girls wearing guy clothes. Guys already have so few choices in clothing that if that happens there will be a guy-pants shortage!
3) if more girls wear guy clothes I will be terribly aroused (same for guys wearing girls clothes). YOU don’t want that, i don’t want that, so let’s come up with a better solution than cross-dressing.
Jumping on the “happy birthday, Willis!” bandwagon while there’s still hours left in the day to do so. Have a good one!
OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES WITH GIRL POCKETS! LET ME TELL YOU! For serious. I could write you a veritable ESSAY on how I think it’s total bull that the vast majority of men’s pajama bottoms have pockets but lady’s! That’s not even to touch upon the subjects of casual and formal way!
Huff.
But anyway, happy birthday, Willis! 35 is a great age! I wouldn’t know from personal experience because I’m only 20 BUT it’s divisible by 5, it’s got my two favorite numbers in there, and you’re not yet 40. What’s not to like about 35?
Happy 35, and may you keep on making startling discoveries and creating comics with them.
Next we will win the battle of jeans that are measured in both waist and inseam, like men’s pants. Someday I will be able to buy pants that fit me both in waist and length!
OMG you have no idea, but this is such a sore spot for me! I served in the military and actually tried to fight this battle, but was not granted guys’ formal wear and had to endure stupid, tight pants with only back pockets, while the guys had all that spaaaaace to put stuff in easy reach.:(
(Used to compensate for this when wearing non-formal. I walked around with a water bottle in my pocket, just because I could.)
Wait until guys find out that half of our “pockets” are actually fake decoration and not pockets at all.
Hey Willis if you HAVENT heard about it yet guess what.
http://www.cnet.com/news/angry-birds-transformers-takes-wing-as-new-app-and-toys/
PS: I’m showing you this solely to get a reaction out of you in hope it pisses you off, have a nice day.
Girls pants have no pockets so girls will buy the designers clutches/handbags to put their things in. It is a marketing ploy.
Oh yeah, is that ever accurate. My ex had a pair of jeans (I did most of the laundry) where the front pockets wouldn’t take my fingers to the first knuckle. And my tween daughter, who is no slave to fashion, has a pair of shorts which has a “cute” pocket that would be stretched to hold one quarter coin.
Fashion designers need to have their heads beaten (no harm, since they’re not using them anyway) until everyone gets clothes with real pockets — deep enough to hold things without falling out when you sit, wide enough openings for the hands of the sized people, and anchored (like those in gym shorts) so they don’t flop all over the place inside the leg.
Worse yet are the jeans that fool you into thinking they have pockets, but the would be pockets are actually just seams sewn into them. O_O And so I just buy women’s cargo pants. Can’t get enough pockets. Ever. They have real pockets AND extra pockets. I love me my cargo pants.
Got this really nice pair of Seven jeans for really cheap, but only half my phone fits in the pockets
they’re really cute though so I guess it balances out
YOU TELL HIM, SISTER! >:(
that last panel though
and guy pants are slowly losing pockets too
DAMN YOU FASHION TRENDS! ARE NO PANTS SAFE?