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Paranatural
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Devil's Candy
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Goodbye to Halos
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Rule number 0: Batman doesn’t kill, except when he does.
Rule number 1: Batman can do anything if he is prepared.
Rule number 2: Batman is always prepared.
Rule number 3: Batman is Batman is Batman is Batman.
Rule number 4: Keep the Batcave properly air conditioned
Rule number 5: Something about guns. Prolly not important.
Actually, chickens die immeditealy without their heads. It’s just that their bodies are constructed just so, that if there head is suddenly removed, their nervous system goes HAYWIRE. It’s basically a seizure…with running.
Actually, as long as it is fed, a chicken can survive with just its brain stem intact. See Mike the headless chicken. They don’t always die immediately.
Roaches just need their head because that’s where their mouth is. They starve to death without it. You could hook one up to a drip and get a really dramatic movie out of it, Mr Cockroach and all the little Cockroaches trying to deal with Mrs Cockroach’s head-ectomy, the tender love of a family torn apart, climbing the mountains of medical bills, Mrs Cockroach’s brother always being there, helping her, helping the kids, helping Mr Cockroach, the conflicting emotions, the forbidden love blossoming, thetragic weakness of a cockroach’s heart. . .
I’ve always thought they never fit together as a couple, in any incarnation. Which is weird since I’ve seen Willis state repeatedly that they were basically made for each other.
In the Walkyverse I eventually liked both of them as characters but never as a couple. Even the parts I liked about them worked just fibe if they were just friends.
Just looked her up. Giving her that hairstyle is cheating! It’d be like if Betty and Veronica, or any two women drawn by Bruce Timm, dyed their hair to same color! NO ONE in their respective universes would be able to tell who is who!
So how does your avatar thing work exactly? Do you just choose a different character everyday? I’ve notice that it has been a stream of anime characters currently but I remember you using Ruth once, and is it based on something like what you were currently enjoying?
When it comes to using anime characters for my gravs, I either use whatever is stored in my files or I scour the boorus where I edit the pics and add the minty background colour.
With the Ruth and other webcomic pics, I either just edit an existing pic or on rare occassions, I try my hand with designing an original face.
So that’s your motivation? If it’s an official couple it’s not worth it? Would you really stop drawing Joyce grabbing Billie’s boobs if they got together somehow?
After reading a comment up higher, I’d like you to draw them making out, but with their eyes open and their brows drawn down, so that they are also giving each other death stares.
Yes. Machete travels to this universe and impregnates Linda Walkerton, making him Walky and Sal’s father. Since Walky is the father of his own father, he is thus his own grandpa.
And Sal is the aunt of her father, and the daughter of her nephew, which I think makes her River Song.
I really like Walky and Joyce’s interactions in this comic. I love how they can’t stand each other but can’t help but constantly hang out anyway. It’s basically just like, they’re gonna have chemistry no matter what, it’s in their natures, but how can you keep from repeating their relationship in IW? And. This is just a good answer. And a good. Yeah.
That’s true in reverse also. Joyce had… issues in IW!, but she was also sort of the perfect girl for Walky in the sense that she was a lot less judgmental than DoA Joyce. A lot of that is the mind-wipe, of course.
As long as Walky is not that Chocostein from that Axe commercial. Seriously, that thing, the Kinder Surprise “thing” and Pickle Surprise gave me nightmares.
I don’t often advocate violence to solve life’s problems, but…dammit Walkerton! First off your being a dick and should not have needed your girlfriend to tell you that. Second, the things you are thinking on the inside of your head do not always need to be presented on the outside via your stupid mouth!
So as of now I fully advocate Mike following you around and punching you anytime you say something a retarded chimp would find insensitive. We continue this process until you’ve been civilized into something like a human being.
How is giving an honest assessment of the situation and being overheard being a dick? Kinda stupid, sure, but not dickish. If you don’t hold Joyce’s insufferable wholesomeness against her you probably shouldn’t hold Walky’s motormouth against him, either.
“Honest” doesn’t translate to “should be said”. Everything he said was technically correct, but ultimately, no good comes of saying it (especially that bluntly), whether or not she’s right there. That would be the reason behind Walky being a jerk, IMHO.
Don’t do ANY drugs? Even drugs that have no confirmed short or long term health risks? I am not talking about marijuana. And I’m not dumb enough to actually do drugs of any kind while actually on a “drug-free” campus.
Walky: Pay attention to people around you, care about what they think of you.
Joyce: Don’t be a bigoted moron.
Joe: Think about something other than sex and the getting thereof.
Sarah: Don’t be misanthropic.
Dorothy: Don’t be awesome.
Billie: Grow out of high school.
Ruth: Don’t be Canadian.
Dina: Don’t wear a silly hat.
You shouldn’t have talked about her behind her back. That would be good to apologize for. The way you said what you said and the fact that it hurt her would also be good things to apologize for. The thing you said is not something you can or should try to take back, so that’s a pretty lame thing to apologize for.
I wouldn’t really consider that talking about her behind her back, in the literal sense (as he was right in front of her) or figuratively.
He was talking about himself and giving a totally valid reason why he walked away from the conversation (He was just a bit stupid about leaving her in earshot).
I agree. I don’t think it even counts as tactlessness if the offended party overhears. Should he be nicer to her in general? Maybe, if he wants to be her friend, but I don’t understand why he would. They clearly don’t get along, and I would think that Dorothy would be mature enough that she would understand that having a boyfriend that doesn’t get along with some girl you’ve known for like a month tops that you kind of like is a lame thing to get upset about.
Dorothy has only known Walky for about a month as well. There’s no reason why his likes should take precedence over Joyce’s. That said, I agree that there’s no reason that Joyce and Walky have to get along just because they are both friends with Dorothy.
Walky and Dorothy make a good couple, with her providing the social grace. Not an uncommon arrangement. And the sooner he learns to leave this to her entirely, the better.
Because he was tactless, overblunt, and had a horrible sense of timing. He was completely correct in what he said, you’re right about that. Heck, there may have been a time and place for him to say exactly that, when it would have been better received. And had he said it in a gentler manner, perhaps he would have been alright.
But doing it when she’s already upset and doubting herself? I don’t care who you are, that is NOT the time to say it. Don’t kick someone when they’re down, unless you’re already archfoes. Nothing good comes of it.
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Get out while you still have a head, Walky
He needs his head to live.
More or less than his femurs?
You can live without your femurs. But unless your a chicken or a cockroach i think you need your head.
Batman can breathe without his head.
Batman can do anything, your point is invalid.
Only if he has enough time to prepare.
Rule number 0: Batman doesn’t kill, except when he does.
Rule number 1: Batman can do anything if he is prepared.
Rule number 2: Batman is always prepared.
Rule number 3: Batman is Batman is Batman is Batman.
Rule number 4: Keep the Batcave properly air conditioned
Rule number 5: Something about guns. Prolly not important.
I think we could base an entirely new form of government off of these
A government based on Batman is the best government.
Well, if you don’t mind 24 hours surveillance….oh wait.
Rule number 6: Alfred can defeat Batman. No exceptions.
Anything?
No, he can breathe in space. Wait, that’s Superman…and apparently anyone else he’s holding onto. What was UP with that Superman III scene?!
no one saw Superman III or Superman IV for that matter.. they were illusions. after 2 came Superman Returns.
I’d much rather see Superman III than Superman Returns.
Superman III is the most internally consistent Superman film. Whether you enjoy what it’s consistent about is up to you.
Chickens still die pretty quickly without their heads. Cockroaches take longer, but losing their heads is still ultimately fatal to them.
Actually, chickens die immeditealy without their heads. It’s just that their bodies are constructed just so, that if there head is suddenly removed, their nervous system goes HAYWIRE. It’s basically a seizure…with running.
Damn, it was supposed to say Immeditaly.
More stuff in nature should be programmed to explode upon death. Like supervillains!
I totally agree
What about Mike the Headless Chicken? He lived for 18 months before he choked to death in a motel room – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken
Actually, as long as it is fed, a chicken can survive with just its brain stem intact. See Mike the headless chicken. They don’t always die immediately.
Roaches just need their head because that’s where their mouth is. They starve to death without it. You could hook one up to a drip and get a really dramatic movie out of it, Mr Cockroach and all the little Cockroaches trying to deal with Mrs Cockroach’s head-ectomy, the tender love of a family torn apart, climbing the mountains of medical bills, Mrs Cockroach’s brother always being there, helping her, helping the kids, helping Mr Cockroach, the conflicting emotions, the forbidden love blossoming, thetragic weakness of a cockroach’s heart. . .
Dramatic and pretty gross.
Somebody option this. NOW.
Pixar, maybe.
…
But I know Blue Sky would get to it first.
Still a better love story than Twilight.
More. It has his FAAAAAAACE on it.
I’m pretty sure he’s proven otherwise.
Get out while you still have a FAAAAACCCEEEE, Walky
Ah, Walky, you and your priorities.
*laugh track*
*cue 90’s sitcom style background music*
*cut to commercial*
“McDonald’s! Food, folks, and fun!”
*PUM-PUM-PUM-PUM* “Still going! Nothing outlasts the Energizer
Battery! It just keeps going and going and going . . . .”
*ribbit, ribbit* “Bud-Weis-Er!”
“Chi-Chi’s! A celebration of food!”
“RIGHT NOW!! C’mon . . . it’s EEEEVERYTING!” *New Crystal Pepsi!*
“Cha-cha-cha-Chia! Chia Pet! The pottery that grows!”
*Ba-dow-ba-dow-ba-dow-ba-dow* “This week, on Seinfeld . . . .”
. . . And now, back to our show!
Way to go, Walkerton!
*laugh track, cut to commercial*
Learn when to stop talking, boy. Sheesh.
I prefer death glares to make outs between these two to be honest.
What about death glares during make outs?
I think you might be making out wrong.
I’ve always thought they never fit together as a couple, in any incarnation. Which is weird since I’ve seen Willis state repeatedly that they were basically made for each other.
Yes, they are made for each other….but sometimes that’s not a good thing, or so I’ve been told.
In the Walkyverse I eventually liked both of them as characters but never as a couple. Even the parts I liked about them worked just fibe if they were just friends.
You are all insane!!! Joyce and Walky are my favorite fictional couple EVER!
“We were meant for each other. Possibly as a punishment.”
No surprises here. At least he is honest.
Too honest in this case.
Is today’s avatar Kagami Hiiragi?
While I can see why you would think that, the truth is that it is Jun Watarase from Happiness!
Drat, I almost got one.
Just looked her up. Giving her that hairstyle is cheating! It’d be like if Betty and Veronica, or any two women drawn by Bruce Timm, dyed their hair to same color! NO ONE in their respective universes would be able to tell who is who!
One other point, Kagami isn’t Kagami unless she is drawn with Tsurime Eyes
WARNING: TVTropes link.
So how does your avatar thing work exactly? Do you just choose a different character everyday? I’ve notice that it has been a stream of anime characters currently but I remember you using Ruth once, and is it based on something like what you were currently enjoying?
When it comes to using anime characters for my gravs, I either use whatever is stored in my files or I scour the boorus where I edit the pics and add the minty background colour.
With the Ruth and other webcomic pics, I either just edit an existing pic or on rare occassions, I try my hand with designing an original face.
Looks like that one guy doesn’t have to teleport into the comic to punch Walky!
Joyce and Walky? Kind of has a ring to it I suppose.
hmmm…nah. I couldn’t see it working out. That’d be as dumb as calling this comic ROOMIES.
At least neither are as bad as, “It’s Walky!” would be… Sounds like a bad sitcom catch-phrase…
That’s Our Walky!
Laugh track. Exaggerated shrug towards camera. Music plays us out.
The catch phrase would be “Way to go Walkerton!”.
damnit, now you’re making me want to draw them making out, but it’s not crack enough cuz it would make sense in another universe.
Joyce totally want to get with Walky since he’s basically the male Sal minus the motor cycle.
But isn’t the motorcycle what she likes about Sal?
So that’s your motivation? If it’s an official couple it’s not worth it? Would you really stop drawing Joyce grabbing Billie’s boobs if they got together somehow?
PROBABLY!
WELL… OKAY THEN. To each their own hobby.
After reading a comment up higher, I’d like you to draw them making out, but with their eyes open and their brows drawn down, so that they are also giving each other death stares.
I refer you to shortpacked! Where a couple is currently harefucking each other to happiness.
Auto-correct has a filthy mind.
The more I stare at Walky’s eye in the last panel the weirder it starts to seem to me.
His eye is heading south for the winter,
Just imagine his brain just broke mid sentence and basically lobotomized himself.
Dammit Brain! Stop running with scissors or you won’t run right!
So, Walky basically Blue Screen’d himself?
ME? Be nice to Joyce!? SYSTEM ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!!
JOYCE’S DEATH STARE IS MELTING HIS FACE
*HIS FAAACE
Fixed that for you.
There are not enough facepalm macros.
A fish slap is worth a thousand facepalms.
And a whale slap is worth a thousand fish slaps
…and a turkey slap is NSFW.
Now Soft Face Wrecked
…why did I look that up? Still, I’ve heard of worse.
Pork slap is the worst. Viz., http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=444
Looks like I will be adding this webcomic to my list to archive dive into.
And a Godzilla slap is worth a thousand whale slaps.
And a Dean McHenry Burn is worth a thousand Godzilla Slaps
And anything you read in Cosmo is the worst of them all.
Learn to quit while you are ahead, Walky.
While you’re at it, learn to quit while you are behind, too. It’ll save you a lot of hassle and frustration in the future.
Walky is good at quitting. Just at all the wrong things.
Seriously, Walky. Just because YOU’RE brainwashed by Dorothy’s charms doesn’t mean you have to announce it.
“Fry, remember what I told you about ending your stories one sentence earlier?”
Walky is his own grandpa?
Yes. Machete travels to this universe and impregnates Linda Walkerton, making him Walky and Sal’s father. Since Walky is the father of his own father, he is thus his own grandpa.
And Sal is the aunt of her father, and the daughter of her nephew, which I think makes her River Song.
I need a flowchart for this. I mean, I get River Song but this, this needs a flowchart.
Aaaand it just occurred to me that Sal is bangin’ a dorky British guy with a bowtie.
I think I might accidentally be onto something here.
Well, here’s hoping that Jason has a blue police box.
Hey…be careful what you say!!!
`Cause…you know….
Spoilers…….
You mean like take-out-sushi or that meat-cake in the back of the fridge?
I like to think Walky is lying about his motivations at the end there. It would fit his silly ideas about manliness.
TO BE A MAN YOU MUST HAVE HONOR.
HONOR AND A PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIS
Ballpoint is convenient although a fountain has a nice antique feel.
A penis fountain? O_O
AND ONLY ONE PAIR OF SHOES!!!
NOW YOU’RE A MAN! A MAN, MAN, MAN!
Pac-MAN!
What makes a man? Is it the power of his hand?
Or his quest for glory?
Give it all you got, to fight to the top. So we can know your story.
with all the force of a great typhoon!
the strength of a raging fire!
etc
What if there’s an…accident?
The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Huh?
The Dude: Uhh… I don’t know sir.
The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn’t that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm… Sure, that and a pair of testicles.
Sure, “sleep.”
Actually, I don’t think they’ve done it yet. Walky was nervous about even spooning Dorothy, so I think he’s not _quite_ ready for sex yet.
Again, these things take time. I mean, you don’t screw the girl you’re going out with on the first day, right?
So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong! And here I thought I just needed more deodorant!
Well that’s good, it would’ve been exhausting to build a dimensiontransversing machine.
Walky’s eye is meltinnnng
It’s his brain frying at the idea of being nice to Joyce.
Maybe he was trying to watch Monkey Master to his right while talking to Joyce.
god dammit david. you just brought a flash back o feels in my head
Walky is right, he shouldn’t have SAID it, despite it being true. You don’t want to be the green monkey.
This is a lesson I understand intellectually, but have never been able to fully apply, and it has cost me dearly.
Nice to see some Transformers stuff in Ethan’s room. Some things never change.
I really like Walky and Joyce’s interactions in this comic. I love how they can’t stand each other but can’t help but constantly hang out anyway. It’s basically just like, they’re gonna have chemistry no matter what, it’s in their natures, but how can you keep from repeating their relationship in IW? And. This is just a good answer. And a good. Yeah.
(i still ship it)
Cuz Joyce and Walky are different people. Walky in It’s Walky! was kinda tailor made for Joyce. This Walky is harsher and gives less of a shit.
That’s true in reverse also. Joyce had… issues in IW!, but she was also sort of the perfect girl for Walky in the sense that she was a lot less judgmental than DoA Joyce. A lot of that is the mind-wipe, of course.
So basically, this is exactly how they would’ve reacted to each other if there was no mind wipes or alien abductions? Good to know.
That’s the point as intended, actually.
Damnit Walky, you caramel stud-muffin. How can you be so sincere in your insincerity?
Imagine if Dorothy did forbid Walky from sleeping over for a week! From our point of view, it would be a year!
She couldn’t hold out against Walky. No way, no how.
HE IS SCULPTED OUT OF CARAMEL FOR PETE’S SAKE!
As long as Walky is not that Chocostein from that Axe commercial. Seriously, that thing, the Kinder Surprise “thing” and Pickle Surprise gave me nightmares.
I don’t often advocate violence to solve life’s problems, but…dammit Walkerton! First off your being a dick and should not have needed your girlfriend to tell you that. Second, the things you are thinking on the inside of your head do not always need to be presented on the outside via your stupid mouth!
So as of now I fully advocate Mike following you around and punching you anytime you say something a retarded chimp would find insensitive. We continue this process until you’ve been civilized into something like a human being.
How is giving an honest assessment of the situation and being overheard being a dick? Kinda stupid, sure, but not dickish. If you don’t hold Joyce’s insufferable wholesomeness against her you probably shouldn’t hold Walky’s motormouth against him, either.
“Honest” doesn’t translate to “should be said”. Everything he said was technically correct, but ultimately, no good comes of saying it (especially that bluntly), whether or not she’s right there. That would be the reason behind Walky being a jerk, IMHO.
Why is Joyce facing us in the last two panels when she’s talking to Walky?
The obvious answer is that she most definitely is not?
I think they meant with her body, not her face. Although if you are facing someone, I guess that would require their face, wouldn’t it?
Yeah, that’s what I meant. Sorry the original comment wasn’t very clear.
I think she’s walking to Ethan.
God dammit Walky.
So I’m going to college in a couple months, any advice on how NOT to act like Walky? Or Joyce, or Joe… Or five other characters…
um…. pay as little attention as you can to any biases you formed pre-college and think before you speak.
Prefect advice, and not just for college.
Party responsibly. Don’t do drugs. Go to class. Join a club.
Definitely DO party, though, at least at the beginning. Blow off steam and avoid hermiting up in your room.
Don’t do ANY drugs? Even drugs that have no confirmed short or long term health risks? I am not talking about marijuana. And I’m not dumb enough to actually do drugs of any kind while actually on a “drug-free” campus.
I don’t think Sideburns was advocating abstaining from pharmeceuticals.
Walky is a pretty chill dude.
He broke up with his girlfriend over a pair of pants.
Pijama pants are SPECIAL.
pijama jeans even
Walky: Pay attention to people around you, care about what they think of you.
Joyce: Don’t be a bigoted moron.
Joe: Think about something other than sex and the getting thereof.
Sarah: Don’t be misanthropic.
Dorothy: Don’t be awesome.
Billie: Grow out of high school.
Ruth: Don’t be Canadian.
Dina: Don’t wear a silly hat.
Does a hat made to look like a shark eating my head count as silly? Because I’m not giving that one up.
Never do. It makes you a better shark-person.
It’s almost like these incarnations are making up for all their counterparts licky-style time by disliking each other extra hard.
And gosh dang it DoA.com!! Why do you always make me joyce?!?
I don’t think it’s something you can control after your first post, unless you get a Gravatar account. Sorry, Ben.
Change your email address, change your avatar.
Like so.
Duly noted, thanks all. i was getting a little freaked and starting to think that the site thought i was actually like Joyce incarnate or something.
Open mouth, insert foot.
Walky, just shut up you dork.
I am all caught up with the comic in one day, oh noooooo
David Walkerton, king of apologies.
You shouldn’t have talked about her behind her back. That would be good to apologize for. The way you said what you said and the fact that it hurt her would also be good things to apologize for. The thing you said is not something you can or should try to take back, so that’s a pretty lame thing to apologize for.
I wouldn’t really consider that talking about her behind her back, in the literal sense (as he was right in front of her) or figuratively.
He was talking about himself and giving a totally valid reason why he walked away from the conversation (He was just a bit stupid about leaving her in earshot).
I agree. I don’t think it even counts as tactlessness if the offended party overhears. Should he be nicer to her in general? Maybe, if he wants to be her friend, but I don’t understand why he would. They clearly don’t get along, and I would think that Dorothy would be mature enough that she would understand that having a boyfriend that doesn’t get along with some girl you’ve known for like a month tops that you kind of like is a lame thing to get upset about.
Dorothy has only known Walky for about a month as well. There’s no reason why his likes should take precedence over Joyce’s. That said, I agree that there’s no reason that Joyce and Walky have to get along just because they are both friends with Dorothy.
Walky and Dorothy make a good couple, with her providing the social grace. Not an uncommon arrangement. And the sooner he learns to leave this to her entirely, the better.
For him. Not for us readers.
Walky. Dude. Know when to stop talking.
In another universe, that would’ve included something about rain.
Honesty is so overrated.
Beatlejuice, Beetleguese, biitlejeiwes
Sorry about that, couldn’t help myself
Why should he apologize? He was right. He should have been harsher, if anything.
Because he was tactless, overblunt, and had a horrible sense of timing. He was completely correct in what he said, you’re right about that. Heck, there may have been a time and place for him to say exactly that, when it would have been better received. And had he said it in a gentler manner, perhaps he would have been alright.
But doing it when she’s already upset and doubting herself? I don’t care who you are, that is NOT the time to say it. Don’t kick someone when they’re down, unless you’re already archfoes. Nothing good comes of it.
godDAMN it, Walky.