Even though Joel abandoned me to go have Boat Fun, I was kind enough to draw him a guest strip. Stupid jerk.
why did he leave me
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Even though Joel abandoned me to go have Boat Fun, I was kind enough to draw him a guest strip. Stupid jerk.
why did he leave me
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It’s like how Santa apparently didn’t want milk and cookies, he wanted beer and steak.
Santa wants Oreos, not Chipsmore.
Forget the milk, leave out some peppermint Schnapps and you’ll hear some footsteps on the roof.
peppermint schnapps is such a wonderful beverage
Bacon. It’s always bacon.
Sherry and meat pies.
Gotta be bacon. It explains why he doens’t visit Jewish children.
But the TV told me it was Cheese.
I was always told Vodka and a good sandwich, along with Nacho Cheese Doritos (or some other suitable chip offering).
Well, he gotta get to all the chimneys somehow.
Santa needs protein.
Silly danny a phone cord is the one fool proof way into any woman’s heart
I thought it was a knife to the chest.
that work too but phones cords have alot less clean up when your done
Knife to the stomach. Avoids rub cage,
You would hate to rub the cage the wrong way.
Rub Nicholas Cage’s forehead and he will grant you 3 hair related wishes.
Bruce Willis tried that but instead lost all of his hair.
He didn’t loose any of it.
It just migrated south.
[Insert “There’s hair on your back!” soundbite]
SMITE her beneath the fifth rib! That’s how you do it.
What are we doing, anyway?
Rubbing foreheads and stabbing chests, what else?
You know that whole “can’t rub your head and pat your belly at the same time” thing? (Or was it…?) Well, this is that with knives.
Can we just shrink down and enter her bloodstream?
The moment he sees Amazi-Girl with glasses or Amber with contacts Danny is going to shit a brick.
Which will devastate him both emotionally and anally.
At least he doesn’t need that colonic treatment anymore.
It’s alright, it’s only lego
But if it’s a DUPLO 2*4 …. ow?
Eh, they’ve got quite smooth edges. Now, some of the longer Technic pieces… or, oh, one of those monster gears like they use in the pneumatic crane-truck… ouuuuchh
Listen, if stepping on a lego is any indication, I, for one, don’t want to know what it’d feel like passing through my sphincter.
Yes, but you don’t walk around on your anus do you? It’d be fine.
Hair mussiness is also a factor.
and unfortunately amazi-girl can’t do the kryptonian amnesia kiss When he finally does find out … or can she?
You mean all kisses don’t do that? What’s wrong with my brain?
I’m betting that you’ve passed a few bricks too many and the blood loss has resulted in the usual negative effects.
Maybe she can do “Kryptonian Boobs Amnesia Hug” instead?
“Hmm, I think it started to work that time; a few more tries and I’m sure it’ll take.”
“She also wants a pony.”
”But I wanted a white one, daddy”.
Get her Applejack.
Beats the “white one”.
like hell she does
But what if she doesn’t have the same kind of phone that Amber does?
He should go with one of those Micro-USB with iDevice adapter packages. Given that DoA takes place in “the present”, I’d be surprised if Amazi-Girl didn’t have a smartphone.
Phone chargers are all the same now – except for iPhones.
And not even all iPhone chargers are the same any more, the f**king jerks
Under EU law they now have to make any new products with Micro-USB now, so any new models will likely have them.
Nah, it’ll just come with an easily-lost adaptor. That costs £25 to replace.
Not to spoil your fun, but he has seen Amazi-Girl’s phone before, remember?
He’s seen her 3DS.
So that’s what young un call it these days.
Honestly I don’t bother to keep track of which silly devices decide to include phone or voip service with their wireless and other varyingly similar services. It’s all the apathetic to me.
Now get off my lawn!
I wonder if there’s a reality somewhere where Danny is not mild mannered, somewhat lacking in the spine department, and a little bit of a dope. That just seems like a universal constant.
I can picture universes where Joe is a monk, Sal has a Boston accent, Ethan collects Gobots, and Mike wins humanitarian awards, but not one where Danny isn’t, well, Danny.
I’m sure there’s a universe of evil somewhere where he’s dead.
Then he’s that world’s nicest zombie.
Know that Jonathan Coulton song with the reasonable sounding zombie who acts as if his desire to eat the listener is a mild workplace inconvenience, and he totally understands why you might not be totally on board, and he’s sure you can discuss the matter like reasonable adults?
That’s Danny of the Dead.
and here he is
http://youtu.be/TGcrVBcKvQA
In the universe of evil Danny would be almost unchanged, just inefectually mean rather than kind of nice.
Or he’s the genius criminal mastermind that control the whole world behind the screen. He rarely appears in public but when he does, he will wear a costume that’ll cover his face and voice. His archenemy is Amazi-girl, and he vow to reveal her secret identity someday.
In his civilian disguise he’s Danny the mild mannered book salesman. Happily married to Amber(!) a stay at home housewife and having a son. They named him Joe.
Joe like to play with his friends Walky and Sal. When His mother and father are out on an “errand” they will call Dorothy to babysit Joe.
I can go on and on with this.
Please do!
I want to read this as an actual fanfic.
Amber has discovered the perfect relationship.
I can picture a universe where Mike wins humanitarian awards, too!
But just after winning them, he reveals the satellite he created that will end all world crises ever is armed with a killer laser and uses it to destroy a small town for no reason other than “this kid I knew in high school bet that I couldn’t.”
In that AU, a lone Walky screams into the sky “SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!”
I like how Sal’s personality boils down to a specific type of accent.
Bostonian Sal also likes to leave via the fire escape, rides a Vespa, and has a thing for guys who wear a fez.
No bowtie?
Why oh why did I misread that as “guys who wear a faz”, which in turn made me unable to stop picturing Sal/Faz??? x_x
I think Amber is projecting here. Just because You want a new phone cord, doesn’t mean everybody does. It always annoys me when people assume everybody wants the same things they do.
She just needs to accept that she’s not amazi-girl and can’t get into her complex mindset.
What she should do is tell him to mark it in some secret way so they can search for it later and discover her true identity.
True, Modock345. After all, we’ve never even seen Joe with a cell phone, have we? Just the game whatsit when he’s Amazi-girl.
thatwould be really odd if when joe was claiming to have threesomes he was actually serenading his best friend. And despite this serenading constantly telling Danny to give up on amazi-girl
also if we had Joe serenading anyone in such a manner I hope it would be ethan.
That’s exactly what Joe wants everyone to think! Fiendishly clever, that Joe.
Too bad he’s wasting it on Danny, for whom mediocre sneakiness would do just fine.
Yes. Give the gift of chargers. They are the best gift ever.
Also, it is telephone day in the land of Willis comics, it seems.
Keep on truckin’ Alex. Never change.
You know, you could’ve ask for a new grappling hook set with interchangeable grapple for 19.95. And if you call now, we’ll even give you a three month subscription of Vigilante Monthly for absolutely free. So call now!
Superheroes still read printed magazines?
They read Capes and Costumes Monthly and Justice Weekly. Vigilantes used to have Cowls and Capes but the publisher of Capes and Costumes sued for copyright infringement.
Yay Alex :D!!
Will Danny ever catch a clue??
Of course not! Danny takes his yearly clue vaccinations.
He needs to find the blue paw print.
Found it. It’s on her phone.
By the way, my phone is from the times when mobile phones were just for calling people, so her phone is clearly a custom-made gadget and the interface does not resemble that of any real brand.
Wow, that was just a lazy effort from me. If I could delete my comment, I would. I can do better than that. I don’t know what I was thinking. Etc.
He need to explore more.
So, quick question, why does my eight-year-old corded mouse work just fine but after five months my laptop charger is fraying from every imaginable joint?
Because a laptop charger costs eighty bucks and a mouse costs ten?
That makes so much sense it’s depressing.
Your laptop charger is heavier, and you’re more prone to swinging it around by the cord, whereas your corded mouse is lightweight and is probably typically picked up and moved by the body. I can’t speculate more beyond that without knowing what your storage and transportation habits are.
If only my CS professors were as helpful as Alex.
Bah, everyone knows it all about HTML5 now (and CSS3). XHTML is old news (though I would accept “the XML/XHTML serialization of HTML5”)
Am I the only nerd that facepalmed over the fact that he said XHTML and not HTML5. It may be that I have an allergic reaction to XHTML though.
Nope, see above!
Today’s itinerary is taken from the actual course’s online syllabus.
Good to know their tuition dollars are well-spent.
Well, it’s only the third week! It’s probably something useful to know in the build-up to more important stuff.
As a web dev teacher, I can safely say that XHTML is not worth knowing or building up to anything more modern. (Outdated public school syllabi are one big reason I started teaching independently…)
But of course, not blaming you!
Amber wasn’t any happier about the syllabus than you.
I took some college web design classes in 2012 and quite a few of the powerpoint slides had been written before the days of IE7, which I’m pretty sure was also the last time my professor had ever actually made a website. These were upper level classes too.
Schools are always out of date when it comes to Web Design.
I remember taking a course a year or so back and they were still using tables instead of article, divs and such.
Also XHTML isn’t entirely useless it promotes a much stricter way to write code and there are situations where it’s useful with XML back end programming (or so I’m told).
HTML5 is a crazy broad branding.
It *should* just mean HTML with a little bit of updated tags and syntax, but for some reason its used to mean every updated web technology out there.
eg. HTML5 games – no they are NOT. They are Javascript games….
Sorry, this bugs me 😛
JavaScript games being rendered on an HTML5 canvas and using HTML5 audio. But yes, JavaScript.
I know some web designers don’t like it because JavaScript has been around awhile and you’ve always been able to make similar things possible with work arounds, hacks, plugins and so on, also technicaly HTML5 is paving the cow path (which again a lot of designers don’t like).
But thematically speaking it being official and everything does represent a huge leap, or at least enough for W3C to establish conferences on html5 games.
Sure, but HTML4.1 is just the markup – HTML5 is treated as a whole family of technology standards.
Its confusing if you just want to refer to the markup :p
WOW DANNY YOU ARE SO SMART HOW DID DOROTHY EVER BRING HERSELF TO LEAVE YOU?!
DAnNY aM SmaRt!
WhY Do My ShOuLdErs HuRt?
Mate with it.
Metaphors!!
In reality, she’s hinting that Amazi-girl wants an ambilical cord. She wants babies now!!
I actually had to look that up but it turns out to be the American spelling of umbilical.
As for begetting a littler of Danny Dots, I highly doubt it.
She is highly analytical in all aspects of her life though it begs the question as to why him?
xhtml is so last century!
Shaggy! Long time no see! Still solving mysteries in a van?
Phone charger cord = her kryptonite?
One must really go to a shitty school to get HTML/CSS as a class with Computer Science…
then again, American education system.
I’m just now…at this very moment…almost beginning to get the impression that Amazi-Girl and Amber could possibly, just maybe somehow be interconnected. But that’s just crazy talk right?
Well, -obviously- they’re interconnected. They form the base of a love triangle with Danny at the top. They’re going to inevitably have -some- things in common.
Danny must be made of platinum. There is simply no other way to explain his density.
Its getting a bit like that Superman Muppet sketch.
Amazi-Girl + Osmium-Boy, OTP!
His mind was rendered super-dense in a lab accident.
According to the periodic table, there are at least 8 other ways to explain his density, not counting unstable elements. My bet is on lead; it’s probably the cheapest and easiest to come by.
No JoCo Cruise for the Willis? If commanded we WillisZombies™ would have provided…
Actually we WillisZombies™ are actually just a large pile of spent matchsticks. In fact Willis has hallucinated the entire internet; the world at large is still on Arpanet, and liking it.
Hooray, I’m flammable!
Actually there’s nothing wrong with her charger cord. She’s just trying, in vain, to insert it into the headphone jack.
What kind of crazy phone has the charge socket on the TOP?
The only reason you think that’s the top is because she’s holding it with that end up. But she’s holding it with that end up because she’s inspecting the cord and the socket.
It also has the logo/camera lens nearest that end, Aslan. As far as I’m aware that pretty much universally marks it out as the “top”.
mine has a mini-usb charger at the top.
That’s just crazy. What is it?
Someone told me once that the best present you can give to any person is a new car tire.
I think what he wanted to express was the value of practical gifts, same as this strip.
Only if a/ they have a car, b/ they need a new tyre, c/ but ONLY ONE (OR: they have space enough to store it until it’s needed or they can afford another 1~3), d/ it’s the right size and a decent brand …
I’ve actually found that, for young, new parents, the best gift is nappies/diapers. Bulk packs of. They love it.
Well they’re sssslowly improving on the subjects in lesson, but when the lesson is essentially ‘go to the w3schools website and start absorbing basics’ it makes you wonder how long they expect to take.
Though thinking about it, how long has the semester been going now? If we’ve made the move from Office applications to basic website design in a week or too, it probably isn’t too hard to imagine to see Ruby bouncing along by the end of the month.
Amber, you should stop using Dina’s phone charger and get your own.
Wait…I’m in the process of teaching myself HTML and CSS right now, though I’ll eventually take a class for it. Is this what I should expect from the instructor?
Depends. Are you a cartoon character? (Admittedly, you do look like one.) Of course if you are you’ll probably never go to class at all, as bests I can tell.
A good instructor will just point you to the W3 schools website then go home 😛
is everyone in this universe a cheap ass?
You’re obviously not a college student.